Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2001 09:04:25 +0800 (CST)
From: fzw@china.com
Subject: Beijing Story 6-8

Chapter Six


     The hot summer has come again. Most businesses have entered the slow
season except for the clothing dealers, who sell extremely well. I planned
to take Lan Yu to Southeast Asia and Hong Kong with me for sightseeing in
the pretense of business. I even approached my contacts at the immigration
bureau, who agreed to help issue Lan Yu a passport in three days without
informing his school. Imagine how mad I was when he told me he found a job
at a construction site for the summer break!
    It was scorching outside. I could hardly step out at all and therefore
was forced to stay inside my house. The weather forecast said 38 degrees. I
suspected it may be 40. Lan Yu went to the construction site from 1 a.m. to
10 p.m. everyday. His excuse was he worked the day shift out of the only
two shifts they had. His face is not white to begin with. After a few days
he began to look no different from a black. I could not bear it any
more. We had a quarrel once again.
    "Why in the hell are you working like this? You think you will be a
construction worker in the future?"
    "It helps to have the experience at the construction site."
    "How much can you earn?"
    "One grand in two months."
    "One grand!" I ridiculed. "The 'chicks' in the hotel ask for two grands
per session!" I shouted without much thinking. "Besides, how can you stand
the physical torture in the heat? Twelve hours a day outdoor!" I kept
shouting at him having heard no response.  " Didn't I give you 20 grand?
Isn't that enough?"
    "I am about to return the money to you. Don't you think that 20 grand
will buy me for a few months with you?" He was extremely sensitive.  I
wanted to hit him. He was so ignorant. I got really angry. "You are fucking
looking for a punch! You think too low of yourself!"
    He kept silent for a while and raised his eyebrows to look at me: "You
have a lot more "chicks" at the "Country Brother", right?"
    God! He was still jealous. "None of your business!" I stared back at
him angrily. Matter of fact I had not seen Zhang Jian in a month.
    "Then don't mind my business either!" He was still insistent.
    The fight ended nowhere. He said he wanted to go back to the
construction site and I told him not to come back again. But he still came
back to the "Temporary Village" every night at almost 11. He looked
exhausted but I did not sympathize. After the shower, I began to feel and
tease him. Though tired, he was also young and got excited fast. But he
could not last long and wanted to end in a hurry. It only took him a few
seconds to fall sound asleep after he came. Looking at him beside me, I did
not know whether I should pity him or hate him.
    One day I found a deposit book in the pile of Lan Yu's books. It was
the 20,000 Yuan I gave him. There was no record of cash withdraw.
    "Damn it, Lan Yu. You thought if you do not take my money, I will look
up to you and I am not playing with you with money.  Wrong! I will play on
for free! I am not a gentleman." I thought angrily. I have never been so
angry with a money boy like this before.
    That night he was back at a little over 10 and looked pale. One of his
fingers was wrapped with a bandage. He said it was cut by glass. I ignored
him until he came back onto bed from shower. I put my hands between his
thighs and started stroking up and down.
    "I am too tired today, Han Dong. Let's do it tomorrow." He begged.
    "I've been missing you the whole day!" I ignored his request completely
and kept on kissing him.
    He closed his eyes lying there and letting me feel all over him. Seeing
he was about to fall asleep, I pushed hard, "Wake up, Hey! Wake up. You
boring."
    He opened his eyes. I started to kiss him again. He kissed me back
reluctantly. In a few seconds, his cock got erected. I sat on his face and
knelt in front of him asking him to give me a blow job. He did a good
job. Seeing that I still had not come, he suggested anal sex " Try me from
behind."
    "No. I'll see if you can make me come this way." I teased him.
    He suddenly jumped up in good spirit and started kissing me with a
smile on his face. He was trying hard to look lovely and pleasing. After a
few minutes we almost climaxed at the same time.
    I went to the restroom at midnight. The clock said 2 a.m. I washed my
face and returned to bed.
    Flipping over Lan Yu, who was sound asleep, I crawled on top of him. He
was waken up.
    " What are you doing?" He grumbled impatiently.
    " I can't sleep. Have some fun with me."
    "Go back to sleep. I have to go to work tomorrow."
    "It's almost 7. You don't have much time left." I lied to him.
    "It's still dark!" He then covered his head with a pillow, pushed me
away and went back to sleep.
    I got up, turned on the small TV in the bedroom and played a porn
movie. I turned up the volume and then lit a cigarette.  Even I felt that I
was behaving strangely.
    He stirred a few times and was finally waken up. Looking at the TV
without emotion, he was still not responding to me.
    "You are so young. Why are you not as active as an "Old Comrade" as me?
Too bad. Don't you want to make me unable to get hard?" I began teasing
him.
    He yawned and smiled lightly still looking sleepy but astonishingly
obedient. I intended just to make fun of him but by then I got genuinely
excited. I pulled him over to my shoulder so as to feel him easily. He was
aroused again. It was easier than playing with an exhausted woman. In a few
minutes both of us came.
    We could not go back to sleep. He looked outside.
    "It's still so dark."
    "It just 3. Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up."
    "You bastard ... !" He smiled and uttered a newly learned Beijing
dialect of cursing.
    We chatted and watched TV and did not sleep until over 5. I vaguely
heard him cleaning up in the morning. He had the door shut, perhaps afraid
to wake me up. I heard him gently shut the door and step out.

    Lan Yu didn't come back until 11:30 that night. His handsome face
looked thinner and tanner.  He said he fell asleep on the bus and was taken
to the final stop. He had to take a taxi to come back. I didn't realize he
went to work by bus everyday. I hated his stubbornness.  He was so tired
that he went to sleep without taking a shower, with dust and sweat all
over. I felt sickened.

      "Get up! Get up! Go take a shower! Don't act like a
construction worker." I reached out to him.

       He murmured something unpleasant and walked into the bathroom
sleepishly. It took him no more than five minutes inside and he went
straight to bed afterwards.  Observing all his moves, I could no longer
suppress my desire to torture and revenge and shouted.

       "Lan Yu. I feel we are done. Let's break up. You might
as well be a good student and a decent man. Go find a girlfriend and stop
fooling with me."

       He frowned slightly, raised his tired eyes to look at me, sitting on
the bed looking puzzled.

      "Go to Liu Zheng if you need money. He'll give it to
you." I meant to irritate him.

      He looked confused and puzzled and did not say a word.

      "I never play this for over a year. We've been together
for long enough. I'm fed up with you." I was thinking it
would be more exciting to see him cry like a girl and fight with me
hysterically.

      But he kept his silence.

      "I am going out tonight. You pack up your stuff tomorrow and
don't ever come back." I was afraid that I would be too
carried away by my cruelty to him. So I dared not take another look of him
and walked out, shutting the door heavily.

      It was very hot outside. But I was on a ball. I had finally let out
the anger accumulated over the past few days. I drove around the Sixth Ring
aimlessly, my mood becoming lousier.

      ... ...

       Since Lan Yu left, I did not go back to live at the
"Temporary Village" and was in no mood to stay at the hotel.
Instead I went back to my parent's place for a few days. Mom figured
out that I was unhappy. That night, dad went to see an old friend. Sis waw
out on a date.  I was alone with mom at home. I was enjoying the fried
cucumbers she cooked.

       "Dong, how come you come back and stay here in the past few
days?"

       "'cause I miss you and dad." Since I became an
adult, I have never been talking seriously with mom and always tried to
please her.

       "Did you break up with your girlfriend?"

       "No way. She's hard to be driven away."

       Mom smiled. She knew her handsome and wealthy son never had trouble
finding girls.

       "I heard from Liu Zheng that you've got a girl friend
named Hao."

       "Right. She is still nagging at me."

       "Zhang Hai-Hong came over to see you yesterday. Her father
has just been promoted to be in charge of foreign trade this year."

       "Why do you like that ugly girl so much? I will never sell
myself to someone in exchange for her family background. There are plenty
of good girls out there."

       "I don't care about who you date. Don't wait
any longer. It's time to get settled. Liu Zheng is a good
example. What a happy family he's got." Mom went to the kitchen to
command the maid. I was thinking about mom's
words. "Don't care about who you date?" She would be
crazy if she found out I was dating Lan Yu.

      I began to get the feeling that my affair with Lan Yu was too absurd
and too abnormal. How can I fall in love with a boy? I am sure I am a
normal man, only a little playful. It's the right time that we break
up like this now. It's good for both of us.

       However, I could not help missing him.


Chapter 7

     The affair with Lan Yu vexed me a lot.  But business these days gave
me a bigger headache.  I couldn't get rid of quite a few import cars
obtained from underground sources. Because of the policy change, I must
sell them by the next Spring Festival, even if it meant losing money. At
noon Saturday, I was about to leave when Liu Zheng told me that Lan Yu had
not gone to the construction site for a week.

     It had been two weeks since we broke up. At first I was surprised he
was still working at the construction site and amazed at the calmness he
handled the sudden change in life. Now that I found out he was no longer
working there, I became a little puzzled. When it was about dawn, I called
his school. Maybe because it was the summer break, I waited ten minutes
before someone answered the phone. But I was told nobody was in Room 815
and that everybody went home for the break. That night I originally planned
to meet some potential buyers of the cars. But I changed my mind and
decided to go to CU.

     Once inside Building #8, I was greeted with a bad odor, something I
haven't experienced in a long time.  I started to get recollections of my
college years when the public restrooms in the boys' dorm smelled
horrible. It was dark in the lobby but I managed to find Room 815. I
knocked on the door but there was no response.  I knocked a few more
times. Still nobody answered. I was a little disappointed. Just as I was
about to leave, I accidentally turned the door handle and found that it was
not locked.

     It was pitch dark and dead silent inside. In the moonlight I could
vaguely figure out the eight beds and a long table in the middle. Suddenly
I noticed there seemed to be someone lying on the lower bed by the
window. I was too stricken by a strong fear to move forward.

     "Lan Yu! Lan Yu!" I attempted to call hastily but heard no answer.

     I was even more panic-stricken. Having to suppress my fear, I moved to
the bedside. It was him. Although I could not see clearly, I could tell for
sure it was Lan Yu. I had never been so fearful in my whole life. I managed
to calm down and reached out to feel his face. It was not as icy cold as I
imagined. In fact it was boiling hot. I then looked for his hands and felt
his pulse. It was weak and hasty. I heard his breath. He was still alive. I
sighed a breath of relief.  I wanted to lift him off the bed but failed. So
I rushed to the corridor and shouted:
     "Anybody here? Can anybody help?"

   "What's wrong?" Out went two heads simultaneously
from one of the dorm rooms.
    "Do me a favor. We've got to send this student to the
hospital." I said.
    They were discussing among themselves as they helped me get Lan Yu up
from his bed.
    "Which class does he belong to?"
    "Construction Class 7. His name is Lan Yu. He did not go home
this break."
    "I see. Isn't he the guy who dresses like a Japanese? He
seems to have relatives in Beijing."
    "Maybe. He is not very sociable, a quiet kind of guy."
    "Are you his relative?" Asked one of the boys.
    "I am his big brother." I was in no mood to listen to
their gossip.
    It was over 9 p.m. The ER room at the Third Hospital was still pretty
crowded. A young elegant glass-wearing female intern doctor gave Lan Yu a
thorough examination.
    "Why did it take so long before you took him here?" the
intern said softly in dissatisfaction. It sounded as if there were no hope.
    Looking at Lan Yu's tightly-shut eyes and dry, white lips, I
almost lost control. Tears began to develop in my eyes as I was holding one
of his hands.
    The young doctor glanced at me strangely. I had to conceal my feelings.
    "This is my younger brother. He is dying. How am I going to tell
my parents?"
    Winning the sympathy of the young doctor, I was told he was having a
high fever and coma because of a possible throat inflammation and hw was
badly dehydrated. As she spoke her eyes were wandering on Lan Yu's
extremely exhausted but still handsome face.
    That was a restless night for me. I waited at Lan Yu's bedside
and kept applying alcohol on his body to physically reduce his
temperature. I was observing the expression on his face, checking his short
and imbalanced breath and making sure the injection went smoothly. The
young doctor turned out to be very dedicated to her work and took his
temperature every half an hour. It was not until 5 a.m. that she smiled and
said that the temperature had dropped to 38 and he was no longer in
critical condition. I suddenly felt relieved and extremely sleepy. My eyes
could hardly open...
    He was young after all. By noon the next day he was able to sit up and
were asking for food to eat. I took him back to the Temporary Village in
the afternoon. I turned down the AC and asked him to drink a big glass of
water. I then lay him on bed and covered him with quilt. I told him to rest
and sleep a little more. Holding one of his hands, I was sitting in bed
beside Lan Yu reading a report prepared by my assistant manager regarding a
draft contract of thirty import cars.
    Lan Yu was lying on his back. In a few minutes he turned around to face
me. I could feel it when his hand rested on my penis and his feet touching
my feet.
    "Stop playing. Go back to sleep." I scolded him with a smile.  He did
not stop and kept stroking my `manhood'.
    I lowered my head to look at him, who was smiling to me.
    "You're playing dirty with me." I smiled back.
    He made a further move and started sucking my penis.
   I suddenly grasped his two hands, raised them, spread them apart and
firmly placed them on the pillow. I then turned over and sat on top of
him. This position looked a little like I was raping him.
   "You're seeking death? You started all this. Don't blame me for being
rude." I laughed and fixated my eyes on him.
   He was again showing the usual affectionate expression in his eyes
accompanied with more jubilation. "What do you want to do to me?" There was
a challenging tone in his voice.
    "I want to fuck you!!" I lowered my body to kiss him as I said
ferociously. I acted very rudely...
   He hardly made any noise while we made love. The more excited he was,
the less he talked. Instead he would breathe hastily.  Maybe because he
just recovered from a serious illness, this time he was almost out of
breath.
    I kissed his face, his neck, his chest, his public hair and his penis
... I then rudely spread his thighs and started swiftly working my way to
his private parts.
    He reached into my hair and grasped there aimlessly, which made me feel
a little painfully pleasant.
    I hinted for him to turn over and lie on his side with his hip pointing
up and the upper leg raised slightly. I then began to feel around his
anus. He twisted his body at the touch of my hands and licked my arms with
his tongues. He turned his head around to observe the expression on my face
obsessively.
    I knew I should not fuck him when he was so weak. But my desire
overcame my sensibility ... I put on enough mouth water and slowly thrust
my penis into him ...
    At the same time, I turned on my side too, holding from behind his
shoulders and wrapped my arms around his upper body. I was going all out
trying to embrace him tightly. I began to jerk my lower body. Quite
surprisingly he matched my movement by shaking his lower body
slightly. This was the only position he liked me to fuck him. Maybe because
this position made him feel less embarrassed.
    I took away one of his hands which was working on his own penis and
said to him:
    "Try not to shoot. You don't want to be exhausted."
    "I won't be." Not willing to heed my advice at all, he was enjoying our
wild sex.
    Thanks to my fucking and his own stroking, both of us shot our loads...
    He appeared exhausted, lying on bed like a dead cat and breathing
heavily. But he was in terrific spirit.
    In the bathroom, I asked him to sit in the bath tub and gently helped
him clean up. We chatted about the young female doctor.
    "The girl kept looking at you. I think he felt for you." I joked.
    He seemed not to care. "She is too old." All of a sudden he appeared to
have remembered something and asked:
    "She told me 'When you were in coma, your brother was so worried that
he almost cried out'."  He was saying that with complacency and was
observing my response intentionally.
    I avoided his eyesight and smiled to kid myself. I felt a little sorry:
He is too easy to be satisfied.
    What he wanted was not much but was what I feared most to give.
    My relationship with Lan Yu entered a brand new state. His new semester
was only one week away. Although I was still concerned over my business
deals, I tried hard to find more time to be with him. He began to take my
money and my present happily but somehow I still got the feeling that he
was doing all this to please me.
    He never mentioned that day when I asked him to leave. Nor did he talk
about the hurt I brought him...
    I finally found a "fool", also an acquaintance, who bought all the cars
that almost got stuck in my hands. I hate to rip off someone I know well
but this time I had little choice. I told Lan Yu about this carelessly. His
ironic response: Money can make people crazy.

   The New Year's bell was ringing amid the wild sex between Lan Yu and
me. When the excitement subsided, I swore to accompany nobody but him all
my life. Sadly I broke my promise.


Chapter Eight

     On February 16, I received a call from my younger sister:
     "Brother, dad is dying. Come back quickly." Sister was weeping.
     "When? What's wrong?" I couldn't believe my ears. Dad was scolding me
for not engaging in decent business two days ago.
     "He was fine last night. But mom found out he was dying early this
morning." Sister was crying louder.
     Two days later, dad passed away. He died of stroke. No matter what,
dad used to be an influential figure. His funeral and related activities
completed exhausted me. Mom was twenty years younger than dad but in just a
few days she looked much older. So I had to stay at home to comfort her.
     On the weekend, Lan Yu called and asked if I would go back to the
Temporary Village. Trying to avoid the atmosphere of deep sorrow at home, I
told him I would go over.
     Opening the door, I noticed that Lan Yu was read a book on the
sofa. Seeing me enter the room, he raised his head from the book and asked
with a concern:
     "Is our Mom doing OK?" He used to call mom "Auntie" but I told him in
Beijing buddies call their respective mothers "our Mom".
     "Surviving." I answered spiritlessly.
     "Let's go to a restaurant." I added.
     "Forget it. I bet you are not in the mood to eat out. I bought some
deli. Let's eat at home."
     I found out that there were many cartons of food on the dining table
and a box of "Yan Jing" beer on the floor. He was very considerate.
     Picking up a bottle of beer, I smiled, "We ate like this back in the
college years."
     "Now is the same." He was also smiling.
     After drinking a few bottles of beer, I began to feel much better. But
I could not help thinking about dad. He died too abruptly.
     "He always kept a stern face at home. I felt much more comfortable
when he was not around. But now I feel so lonely." I did not know if I was
talking to Lan Yu or myself.
     "I had never liked him since my childhood. He scolded me a lot, beat
me a lot on wherever he could lay his hands. After I grew up, he became
nicer to me and always tried to talk with me. But I didn't like to converse
with him. I remember the year I passed the college entrance exam and was
admitted to NU, he was so happy that he became drunk from too much
alcohol. He said among all the kids of his comrades, I was the only who
managed to go to college by passing the exams. I never felt he was good to
me. But looking back, when I first started the business, he did give me a
lot of help..."
     I sipped some more beer and glanced at Lan Yu. He was listening
attentively. He was a good listener. "Before he died, he suddenly opened
his eyes. It was his last sober moment before death. He looked at everyone
of us and finally laid his eyes on me. I am sure he wanted to say
something.  But he couldn't. He may really liked me deep in his heart..." I
was a bit too excited to speak on.
    After a long while, I heard Lan Yu whisper:
    "I think he was not too worried when he passed away, with our mom, you
and your two sisters around. He should be satisfied ... ..." He paused a
second: "When my mom died, there was nobody around her. She swallowed a
bottle of sleeping pills ... ..."
    I raised my head to look at him. This was the first time he mentioned
his mother's death. She committed suicide. No wonder he never talked about
it. He looked a bit strange, sad but indifferent.
    "My parents used to live in the Northwest, but they were not from the
area. My mom was from Hangzhou. My dad was from the Northeast... ..." That
explained his good looks which combined the features of both the noth and
the south, I thought.
    "They were both teaching at the Engineering University. The family was
doing good when I was little. My dad liked to play a lot. He would take mom
and me to many interesting places. He taught me how to play Erhu
(two-stringed Chinese musical instrument). He led me into the world of
stamp collecting. He also did arithmatics homework together with me. I had
finished all the courses for junior middle school students by the time I
graduated from elementary school. Dad taught me everything. Mom was the
silent type. She was nice to everybody. I never heard them quarrel. The
only time was when mom complained that dad was a male chauvinist and did
not help with housework. But later she smiled and told dad "I don't want to
talk to you."
   Lan Yu was wearing a sweet smile when he was talking. He drank another
mouthful of beer.
    "Dad was among the first intellectuals starting to do business when the
economic reforms started. He seemed to have invented a ventilating machine
and he was hired by a township enterprise. My family suddenly became the
wealthiest on campus. We became the first few families to be able to afford
fridge and color TV. Everybody envied us ... ..."  I had already guessed
the ending of the story. There were too many such stories nowadays.
    "Dad was not like the other businessmen. He did not know to play with
women. He was too serious when he started to play.  Before mom died I met
the other woman. She was actually pretty. But in my eyes she was the
ugliest ... ... I was twelve and insensitive about what was going on until
mom had stroke. The doctor said she was too young for that. I would go to
the hospital to see her after school but dad seldomly showed up. "
     Lan Yu was drinking too much for sure. Otherwise he would not talk
this much. I did not stop him. This was a perfect opportunity to learn more
about him.
     "She was released from hospital just fine. But she chose to die
anyway. She left a long letter to me and dad. She hated money and said
money can turn people into cold-hearted, selfish and ruthless animals. She
said love was the most important thing to her. She would rather die in
glory than live in dishonor." My heart sank when I heard that.
    "She asked me to study hard and plan to leave EU by passing the college
entrance exams. She wanted me to be independent and be a decent man." Lan
Yu suddenly stopped and stared at me with tears in his eyes. I sensed
hatred.
    "This is out of the question now." He lowered his head and played with
the beer bottle and went on to say:
   "Mom could not have imagined what happened less than a year after she
died. Dad's "business" went belly up and he lost all his savings. But he
married that woman and they had a baby girl. He went back to teach at
college. Everyone ridiculed him, saying he made his first wife die and
suffered the consequence in poverty. I felt they were also laughing at me
... ..."
    "That woman was pretty good to me at first. But she changed not long
afterwards. In my final year at high school, we had to take a lot of
simulation exams. Our teacher would ask us to pay for the exams. She would
fight with dad about that and said she had no money to pay for me. After I
got admitted to CU, she could not put up with me any more and told me the
salaries of dad's and hers combined could support nothing else but the
family's living expenses. Dad cared about nothing but the Go chess. He is
already a pretty advanced player." Lan Yu smiled helplessly and poured more
beer into his cup.
    "Don't drink any more." I persuaded him.
    He did not consent and went on to talk. "I borrowed a hundred yuan from
the uncle in Hangzhou and came to Beijing, where I bumped into Liu Zheng
and then you. " He looked at me with a smile that appeared to suggest a lot
more underneath.
    "Fuck, why am I so unlucky?" He suddenly started to curse. I didn't
know if he was referring to his parents or hooking up with me.
    "Stop drinking or you'll be drunk." I took away his cup while speaking.
    "I'm fine. I'm not drunk." He stood up by himself and went to the
restroom, one of his hands touching the wall.
    "Nobody has been so good to me since mom died." He murmured to himself.
    I thought he meant me!
    ... ...
    A beam of striking sunlight pierced through the curtain and the bedroom
became very bright. It was 11 a.m already. We were both wide awake.
    "I'm having a pounding headache. I must have drunk too much last
night." He said.
    "No. You were very sober."
    "I bought the beer for you. In the end it was me who got drunk." He
became self-conscious.
    I did not pick up from where he started and observed him from the
side. I was studying his thick and black eyebrows, his bright eyes and his
long eye lashed.
    Noticing my attention, he turned around.
    "What's up?"
    "Nothing. I just enjoy looking at you." I said.
    "You're sick!" He blushed and sounded like a native Beijing boy.
    "I AM sick. I am really sick!" I seemed to be talking to myself.
    He reached over to kiss me lightly on the lips. We kissed delicately
and gently, his eyes opened and fixated on me from time to time. He then
left my mouth and began sucking my penis. I closed my eyes and began to
appreciate the dreamy swirling feeling ... ...
    "Han Dong." He called my name gently.
    I opened my eyes and discovered the puzzlement in his eyes. He must
have been puzzled by my enjoyment of his moves.
    "Go on!" I encouraged him and closed my eyes again.
   He continued his work on my penis. After a while, I suggested that he
move closer to me and let me give him a blowjob too ... ... It did not take
long for him to come.
     I had not come yet. He felt guilty and asked to continue to suck me,
which I stopped him from doing. He then lay down closely beside me and
hinted anal sex.
     I embraced him from behind and told him I did not want to ejaculate
and that I just wanted to hold him like that.
     He did not say anything and we were staying in bed in that position
for a long time ... ...
     He should not blame me. If it was me who dragged him down the first
time, this time it was him who dragged me dowm. This was destined to
happen!
     I began to think of dad who died and mom who was in deep sorrow
... ...