Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 18:54:56 +0000
From: Ben nobody <ben_sc@hotmail.com>
Subject: Jose Spreads His Wings Chapter 3-Beginnings

Jose Spreads His Wings

By Ben

Chapter Three


Jose sat up straight, his eyes wide in surprise. "I am so sorry, Enrique. I
have never done that before." He stood up and rushed to the desk where he
started gathering up his books.

"What are you doing? Asked Enrique.

"I must leave. I am so sorry." Jose was blushing in embarrassment. He tried
to make his way to the door but he had become disoriented in his shock from
what had just occurred. He opened a door to find that it led into the
bedroom that he had seen from the bathroom. He turned and looked and
Enrique, confused and helpless, expecting to see loathing in his
expression. What he saw, instead, was amusement.

"Why must you leave, Jose? Is it the kiss? Have you never kissed before?
Enrique inquired.

Jose could not hold eye contact with him. He hung his head and shook it
slightly from side to side.

Enrique was totally captivated by this shy, inexperienced young man. He
stood and walked over to Jose and touched his arm. Jose jumped and almost
dropped his books. "Hey amigo," Enrique said in a calming voice. "It's
alright. You didn't do anything wrong. I wanted for you to kiss me. I
wanted to kiss you, also."

Jose looked into his eyes for reassurance. "Really?" He asked hopefully.
"Then you are not angry with me or think that I am filthy or profane?"

Enrique smiled his amazing smile. "Oh no, not at all. It was a very nice
kiss. May I have another?"

Hesitantly Jose bent to press his lips against those of Enrique once again.
He began feeling warm and when Enrique's arms encircled his waist, he
dropped his books to the floor and returned the embrace.  Jose parted his
lips to admit Enrique's tongue. It was alive and tasted sweet. He used his
own tongue engage it. He felt his erection build again and broke the
embrace to prevent Jose from feeling it.

"Que pasa?" Asked Enrique. He looked down at where Jose was trying in vain
to hide his hard on with his hand. "Oh, I see." He said in an understanding
way.  "It is okay, Jose. See. I am hard too. It is only natural, mi
amigo. You are a very good kisser."

"But..." began Jose. "...it is wrong for me...to feel...this way about
you. Padre told me it is sinful."

There was silence between them for a moment, The Enrique said, "Jose, did
the kiss really feel sinful to you?"

Jose looked up from the floor. "No, No Enrique, it did not. It felt very
natural, and ... wonderful."

Enrique moved closer to him. "Then you have nothing to feel guilty about."
He started to embrace again, but Jose stopped him.

I am sorry, Enrique, but I am confused. I need time to think about all of
this. I hope you understand." Jose said miserably.

"Si, mi amigo. I do understand. I will keep a respectable distance until
you decide what is right for you. I only hope to remain your friend."

"Of that you can be assured. I do not blame you for anything." Jose
explained.

"Bueno." Said Enrique. "Then please sit down. Are you sure you wouldn't
like something to drink?"

"Perhaps, now I would. Do you have Coca-Cola?"

"Si, and I will have one also." They sat and talked, with just a little
distance and awkwardness between them. Soon it was time for Enrique's class
and he dropped Jose off on the way. Jose Walked up the steps to his third
floor dorm room. He heard the loud music long before he got to the door,
which was wide open.

Two of his roommates were already there, eating pizza and talking loudly to
be heard over the music blaring from the boom box sitting on HIS
bunk. There would be no studying done here; at least not now. Jose decided
to try the campus library. He left all but the few books he needed and made
his way downstairs.

On the way to the library, Jose passed the chapel. He had attended mass
there the previous Sunday. He had been impressed with the young priest who
gave the message and conducted communion.  He wondered if he was available
to talk.

Making his way inside, he passed the confessionals. He really needed to
talk and wasn't sure about what had transpired between himself and
Enrique. He sat down and slid the curtain shut. Hearing the small door open
he began, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...I think."

After a moment of silence, the voice he remembered from mass came through
the opening. "Do you have a question, then?" How may I help you?"

"Father I have been told that though which I have are unclean. And today I
did something that I have been told is wrong, but it did not feel wrong at
all." Jose said.

" Do you want to tell me about these thoughts and about what happened?" The
priest offered.

"Si, I mean yes, Father. I have had feelings and ... fantasies..." Jose's
voice faded

"Sexual fantasies?" coaxed the Father.

"Yes."

"I would say that's fairly normal for a young man such as yourself."

"But... there is more."

"Please, go on then."

"These fantasies involve other ... men, Father." Jose was so embarrassed.

Another moment of silence. "You have homosexual fantasies?"

"Si, Father."

"I see. And how long have you been having these thoughts and fantasies."

"A long time, years."

"Do you have fantasies involving women?" Asked the priest.

"No, I do not."

"Tell me about what happened today."

Well, Father, I... kissed another man." Jose wanted to crawl away.

"Just kissing, nothing more?"

"Nothing more."

"Alright. That doesn't really sound so bad. How do you feel about it? How
do you feel about the man you kissed?" Asked the Father.

"Oh, he is very nice. He is from my country, from Mexico."

"And you are attracted to him?"

"Si, Father I am."

"And the kiss was consensual?"

"Que? I do not understand." Said Jose.

"Did he want to kiss you, too? You did not force yourself on him?" The
priest explained.

"Oh! No, he wanted to kiss me, too."

"And the kiss. How do you feel about that? Was it like your fantasy?"

"Ohhh!" Exhaled Jose. "It was so much better than I could have imagined."

The priest chuckled quietly to himself. "Then what is bothering you is that
it was with another man."

"Si, Father. I have been taught that this is wrong." Jose said sadly.

"There are those that believe that to be true.' The priest said.

Jose was surprised. "And you Father. What do you believe?

"I believe it isn't a sin to kiss someone. Further. I believe that feelings
that are natural are given to you for a reason. Beyond that, I don't
know. I do know that you must make up your own mind."

Jose was just as confused as ever. He knew what Padre Pedro would have
said.  He would have been saying the rosary until his fingers bled. But
this priest was different. He wasn't judgmental. He seemed to genuinely
understand Jose and his feelings.

"Thank you, Father." Jose said quietly as he picked up his books and stood
to leave.

"I will be praying for you. Would you let me know how you are doing from
time to time?" Asked the priest.

"Si. I will visit with you again." Jose promised.

"Vaya con Dios, mi nino". The father said as he exited the confessional.

"Good night, Father."

Jose made his way to the library. He tried to study but his mind was
whirling. He closed his book and strolled back to his dormitory. It was a
warm night and the clear sky revealed millions of stars and a bright
half-moon.

Stopping at the student lounge on the first floor, he picked up the handset
on the pay phone. He dropped in his two coins and, referring to the number
on the scrap of paper, he began pressing buttons.

"Hola?" Said the voice on the other end of the line.

"Enrique?" Jose spoke quietly.

"Si. Jose? Que pasa, mi amigo?"

You can find other stories I have written (mostly true accounts of my
experiences) by clicking the "Authors" link and then scrolling down to find
"Lyle Benton". You will see and index of my Nifty postings there. Enjoy! I
love hearing from my "fans". Please email me at ben_sc@hotmail.com.

Thanks,

Ben