Date: Sun, 22 Sep 2013 00:40:25 -0400 (EDT)
From: Milford Slabaugh <tommyhawk1@aol.com>
Subject: Better Angels

			       BETTER ANGELS
			   By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
		      WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM

     I'm lying under an oak tree in a meadow too green and beautiful to be
true. The sky is a pale pastel blue, with clouds plump and evenly
spaced. The sun is bright but behind the tree, I am shielded by a pale
shadow that doesn't diminish the verdant grass under me in any way.

     He walks up through the meadow grass which is taller than where I'm
lying, so that he appears to me only a few feet away. I turn to look at him
and smile in lieu of a spoken greeting. He smiled back and sat beside me.

     "You've come again." I said to him.

     "You needed me."

     I looked over at him. Funny how every time I looked, it was like
looking at both someone I knew very well, and yet the face was never one I
could recognize. I knew him...and I didn't.

     "Have you made up your mind?" he asked me.

     I shrugged. "I dunno."

     "It's nearly the end of summer, and you graduated high school last
spring." he reminded me. "You've let the summer go and nothing wrong with
that, but you can't keep me waiting forever."

     "I know." I said.

     "So when will you decide?" he pressed me.

     "I don't know. Soon."

     "I'm waiting for you." he said. "It's time for you to make up your
mind." His arm came over me and he rolled to rest his warm body upon mine
and our lips met and I moved to embrace him.

     "Hey, hey!" my brother Raymond was kicking me. "Wake up, damn it!
You're dreaming again!"

     I opened my eyes, blinking. It was barely dawn. "Uh, what, what?"

     "I don't know what the hell you're dreaming, but if you don't cut it
out with the groaning and squirming, you're going to have to start sleeping
on the floor!" my brother growled. "Bad enough I have to keep sharing this
bed with you. Why haven't you moved out already?"

     "Why haven't you?" Raymond was twenty, two years older than me.

     "I will, soon as I save enough for a place of my own." Raymond looked
at the clock. "Might as well get the hell up." He rolled out of bed, a
large, hairy, muscled man. He stood, dressed in a dirty tanktop and dirty
briefs, and looked down at me with a sneer. "At least I'm working."

     He grumbled and rolled his body into the bathroom to take a bath. Me,
I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. I did, after Raymond finally
went down to get breakfast, but I didn't dream that dream again. The one
with that man in it, the one I couldn't quite know.

     All I knew was, he was waiting for me.

     I kept busy with things in the morning, but when I got done at noon
and went in for lunch, Mom started in on me again. "Troy, how long are you
going to just sit around the house? It's the middle of August. You've been
out of school for three months, it's not a vacation any longer. You can't
goof off the rest of your life, you know."

     "I know, Mom, I know." I said. "I'll look for work, soon!"

     "But when?"

     "I don't know." I groaned. "Mom, I can't get a job until I know what I
want to do."

     "You could get a job while you're figuring it out."

     "I mean," I said. "Am I going to hang around Durant the rest of my
life, or am I going to move out, and if so, where?" I wasn't like Raymond,
I had a couple thousand in the bank, enough to move somewhere, live while I
found a job, build myself a new life. It was why my mother had kept silent
so far. Except that was wearing out.

     "Whatever you decide, you need to do it soon." Mom cautioned me. "If
not...." She took a deep breath, and went on, "...if not, you need to start
paying rent like Raymond does."

     "Raymond pays rent?" I asked, dumbfounded. I hadn't known.

     "He does." Mom affirmed. "About time you did the same if you're going
to keep on living here. Your father and I aren't getting any younger, you
know." Dad was currently in the hospital, nothing major, but he'd be in
there a week or so. Probably the costs not covered by health insurance was
why Mom was bringing up the subject of me chipping in.

     If I was going to stay! Shit! I couldn't escape the dream even in real
life!

     Time to make up my mind.

     That night, I dreamed of him again. Same as before, the soft green
meadow, the sheltering oak tree, me lying there as he walked up through the
grass.

     "Done some more thinking?" He asked me.

     "Some." I admitted.

     He lay back down beside me, as before. "I'm waiting for you."

     "Where?"

     "You know the answer to that."

     "No, I don't." I protested. "Where are you?"

     "Wherever you decide to go."

     "That's no answer!"

     "It's the only answer."

     "But...but...."

     His fingers laid a gentle "shh" onto my lips. "Don't worry about
it. You decide where to go and when you do, I'll find you. Or you'll find
me."

     "I'd like that." I said. And this time, I wrapped myself around him
and held him tight. We kissed, and the kiss was long and warm and
wonderfully delicious! When it ended, I breathed, "Why is it that I can't
remember your face? I mean, I know you, but it's like I can't quite
remember you."

     "You remember me."

     "But I don't." I nearly wailed. "I try and I try and it's like I can't
quite place you."

     "Don't worry about it." he soothed me. "I'm here and I'm waiting for
you. All you have to do is make up your mind."

     "But I can't!"

     "Yes, you can." he kissed me again to stop my protests. My arms went
around him and all of a sudden, both of us were naked, and I felt his cock
pressing against my thigh. I groaned and pushed mine against him and....

     "Damn it!" Raymond shouted. "Shit! Agh! Uhhh!"

     I opened my eyes in the darkness. Raymond was standing by the bed,
wiping at himself with the edge of the bedsheet.

     "What? What is it?"

     "You freaking shit! What the hell were you doing?"

     "I don't know what you mean!"

     "I woke up and you were pushing up against me and your dick was all
sticky and it got all over my leg. Yugh!" And he resumed wiping at
himself. "Did you come in your sleep?"

     "I don't know. I don't think so." I felt my crotch. "I am sticky." I
admitted. My face was totally red, humiliated. It's one thing to have a bit
of nocturnal emissions, but to rub it on your own brother...yugh indeed!

     "Gahhh! Man, go get laid or whack off before you get in bed before you
do that again! Yeesh!" Raymond got back into bed, but he didn't get close
to me. I can't say I blamed him.

     I got back to sleep but my dreams were troubled ones. I was looking
for the man of my dreams, but I couldn't find him. I chased through woods
and streets and lots of horrible, horrible places, but I couldn't find
him. It was awful, just awful! I woke again and again, trying to scream out
his name...but I didn't know who it was!

     The next day was Sunday, and I woke up in plenty of time to get
dressed and cleaned up to go to church with Mother. She wanted to ask
everyone to pray for Dad, and I figured one of us kids had better be there
with her. Raymond wasn't going; he declared when he turned eighteen he was
never going to step foot in a church ever again. I was only sort of
religious, but let's face it, I was looking for answers, and when you
rubbed your cock against your brother's leg while asleep and got him sticky
with your ooze, it's time to try a talk with God.

     So I settled in determined to see if the pastor could give me some
words of wisdom I could apply to my own life. Instead, believe it or not,
the guy was too busy talking about a "new edifice" for the congregation, he
wanted the congregation to sell this building and the lot it was on and
build a newer, bigger one down the street several blocks where there was a
large empty lot. On and on he went about this when he should have been
talking about...well about just about anything else!

     He finally shut up about it and we got to the part where people ask
for prayers and Mom got up and said her piece about Dad and his "dangerous
surgery" which is a laugh if you'd known what surgery it really was, he had
an impacted bowel and some tearing in his small intestine as a result, and
they were going to be going in and handling it all by a tube up his
ass. But the doctor had said there was a risk (any surgery has risks) and
he'd have to stay in the hospital a few days to make sure there weren't any
complications or sepsis, so I kept my trap shut and let Mother dramatize
it.

     So I let the pastor drone on after everyone had spoken up with his
benediction for some time before his words sank in to me.

     "God speaks to each and every one of us. We must be ready to listen
and follow His words, for it is by the better angels of our nature that he
speaks and we must heed the call."

     Oh, he kept talking after that, but those two words sank in to
me. "Better angels."

     I now knew who my nightly visitor was!

     Mom went to the hospital that afternoon and I spent the afternoon and
evening alone. Raymond wasn't home and wouldn't be home tonight, he'd gone
with some buddies on a trip of some kind, he worked Tuesdays through
Saturdays and had Sunday and Monday off. At least I wouldn't have him to
wake me up in the middle of my dream tonight. I settled in and just waited.

     The cool breeze off the meadow's grass was like a benediction. When he
came through the grass, I stood and held open my arms, and he came to
me. We embraced, and when I finally let him go after several slow kisses,
he said, "I think you've made up your mind."

     "No." I said. "But I know who you are now."

     "You do?" he smiled broadly.

     "You're my guardian angel." I said to him with a grin. "I just never
expected to see you like this."

     He held me while I hugged him again. Then his next words were, "So
that's who you want me to be? Your guardian angel?"

     "Huh?"

     I stepped back from him and...and from his back were sprouting
wings. Large, glorious, snow-white wings and his hair was turning lighter
and his skin, too.... And suddenly I didn't know who he was! "Is this who
you want me to be?" he asked me in all his beauty and majesty.

     "I don't know! Who are you?"

     "You know who I am."

     "No, I don't!" I screamed back at him. "Why do you always say that? I
know you and I don't know you! It's like if I could just get a good look at
you, I'd know you, but it never lasts long enough to let me really look at
you."

     "So here I am. Look at me." he said, and suddenly he was back to the
one I did know/didn't know again.

     I looked, hard as I could. No good. His face refused to be recognized
fully. I shook my head. "It's no use. I'm never going to know who you are."

     "Maybe you should get a closer look, then." and he stepped up to me
and held me and we kissed again. Again, our clothes vanished to the place
where things in dreams go. I felt his cock pressing against me and mine
against his and I moaned and ground against him. No Raymond in my bed to
wake me up this time!

     The grass was softer than any bed could be. We lay down upon it and he
rolled us so that I was on top of him. "You know who I am." he said to me
softly.

     "I know you." I agreed.

     "You've always known me." he went on. "And now show me how well you
know me." And his legs parted and raised to enfold my hips. "Show me how
well you know me."

     "I know you." I said again. "I know everything about you, even if I
don't remember it."

     "It's not your memory where you should be looking for me." he said.

     "No?" I said as my cockhead found his anus. Soft and warm and waiting,
yielding to my glans as it pushed against him.

     "Memory is your past." he said. "I'm not in your past. I'm in your
future."

     I would have asked more, but then his sphincter opened and I slid into
him as smooth as if I belonged there. Which I did.

     Hot warmth boiled through my body, a delight unfettered by the mundane
requirements of the flesh, for this was the joining of our spirits and held
no squeezing, no pinching, no wrinkling and no bending. I entered him and
he took me and it all went together in complete perfection.

     He closed his eyes and moaned as I took him, and I felt my own desire
flowing heavily, the meshing of our bodies was complete, and we moved in
total synchronization, and I began to fuck him and he combined his motions
with mine to make every stroke joyful.

     "Oh, my beloved!" he gasped as my cock pumped into him with steady
thrusts. "I long for when we can do this together outside of these dreams!"

     "Yes, yes!" I gasped.

     "You have to find me, Troy!" he moaned. "Until you do, you'll never be
happy!"

     "I know, I know!" I groaned.

     He rolled us over and then he was straddle of me and riding my cock
with frantic thrusts up and down of his body, driving my prong into his
butt with a fury that made me moan and gasp.

     And in that moment of ultimate ecstasy, when my climax was driving in
hard upon me, and I was at the very crest of ejaculation...everything
changed.

     And he and I were no longer in a meadow, now we were in a large, stone
room, lying upon a crude cot of rough-hewn wood, a cloth mattress stuffed
with straw. Side by side again, our moment of joining not yet done.

     And I reached for him, panting hard. My body quivered in the need for
release, I felt his warm body and I moaned for it.

     And we were of a sudden not facing each other, but head-to-toe and his
manhood was pointing at me. I didn't care at that point, I got hold of his
dong and stuffed it into my mouth. He sucked on mine as I sucked on his.

     And his dong extended and grew as I sucked on it. I mean, it GREW! I
had not only a thick, juicy prong in my mouth, it was growing out and out
and out! I could only suck the top few inches of it but I did as I could
and it swelled, heated, and come exploded out of it into my mouth as he
came, hot wads flooded my mouth and on and on and I felt my climax building
up and up and I came...and my cock blew completely apart with jizz flying
everywhere, no pain, just lots of hot white jizz as if a hundred cocks were
coming all at once...

     And everything changed again. This time, a sedate if ornate bedroom,
he was seated on the bed and I was breathing hard, and I growled with my
sexual frustration, for the change in scene had also ended my orgasm as
well! He smiled and laid back and I held his legs up high and I rammed my
prick into him.

     "I'm waiting for you." he sighed as I drove my dong in deep. "You just
have to come to me, and I'll be waiting for you."

     "I'll find you." I swore as I hunched him. "I'll find you!"

     "Then take me now."

     "Yes, uh, uh, right, uh, now!" I groaned and again I hit my climax and
came....

     And jerked awake in the darkness. Alone in my bed, it was nothing but
the dream had awakened me. My cock was sticky with my precome and I was
hornier than I had ever been.

     I grabbed my prick and whacked it hard and it came in less than ten
seconds. This time for real, I sprayed a load like none I'd ever had
before, it flowed out of me hot and heavy and it was like I was pouring all
of myself out in that load, all my hesitations, all my doubts, all my
fears, they flowed out of me with that orgasm and I was left behind,
covered in my spunk with nothing left to doubt or fear, ever again.... And
the darkness of sleep reclaimed me once again.

     But when I woke up, I knew who my dream lover was. Not a guardian
angel, but something better. A better angel.

     I showered and went down to breakfast. Mom was there and said, "Your
father came through the surgery just fine, they tell me."

     "I thought they were doing the surgery today."

     "No, they moved it up to last night because they needed the surgery
room today for another patient." Mom explained. "But he's going to be fine,
they told me."

     "I wish I'd known." I frowned. "I was going to be there with you."

     "It was a bit last-minute. I decided not to worry you." Mom said. "You
helped yesterday when you went to church with me. I'm sure your prayers
helped."

     "Maybe." I allowed. "So how much longer will Dad be in the hospital?"

     "They'll let him come home on Wednesday if nothing else happens."

     "All right. I'll stick around long enough to help you get him
home. Then I'm leaving."

     "Leaving? Where to?"

     I shrugged. "I'm not sure. Tulsa, I guess, or Dallas. I'll decide
before I leave."

     Mom put her hand on my arm. "I knew you'd leave us one day. You never
did like this town, did you?"

     I shrugged again. "Nothing here for me. I don't belong here. I've got
to find somewhere I do belong."

     "I know." Mom kissed me. "Just know if you need us, we'll be right
here."

     I thought that was the end of it, but after a time, Mom said, "Just
wondering, what made you make up your mind so fast?"

     "The parson's sermon." I said. "He talked about the better angels of
our nature and I realized just what I needed to look for out there."

     "Oh." Mom was mystified, she'd heard the parson's relentless sermon
about the "new edifice" same as me.

     But I hadn't lied. I knew who my nightly visitor was. The better angel
of my nature, reminding me that the man with whom I'd spend the rest of my
life was out there and when I found him, I'd know him.

     All I had to do was go find him.

				  THE END
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