Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:28:32 -0600
From: Retta Michaels <rettamichaels@gmail.com>
Subject: Can You Catch My Heart - Buckets Of Blessings - Chapter 002

Can You Catch My Heart

Book One
Buckets Of Blessings

By

Retta Michaels

Disclaimer:
If your laws do not allow you to read this story, then don't. All the
rest of you people who read it, if you think it's true, boy, have I
investment opportunities for you!

Notes From Retta:

It's not well known I actually went to school to be a mortician. In
this story, I used the subject and kept it light so no one should be
offended. If the subject matter bothers you, please know it wasn't my
intention to offend.

What's interesting is the reverence we place upon funeral homes in our
culture. It's alright for us to see a body on a slab in a morgue in
television shows, and no one gets creeped out, but the only way they
get portrayed is in horror flicks. Only one movie I've ever seen has
portrayed one with anything but that genre, "My Girl" starring Dan
Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.

I hope by reading this, you can see people in any profession have love
lives and the manner in which they're able to have it. It does have
adult themes, so please read accordingly.

Read and enjoy.

Chapter 2:


The fortunate thing is my Escalade is a funeral car. What that means
is the rear seat folds super flat and a gurney slide is in place so I
can take bodies to the funeral home with it. In my garage, I keep a
gurney, sheets, and cover so I don't have to go across town to the
funeral home.

I drove to the scene of the accident and breathed a sigh of relief
when I saw the accident was beyond Joan's house.

When I pulled up, the Sheriff's deputy directed me to park beside the
ambulance. I got out, and when I did, I saw Joan and Mark standing
over in a small crowd of people that had gathered. I thought it
strange, but with them living up the hill, I figured it was curiosity.
Little did I know.

The deputy gave me a briefing as I went to the car. "What we have here
is a woman aged 43. Local business person who apparently arrived at
that house up there intoxicated. When she never got an answer fast
enough, the inhabitants saw her drive across their yard and off that
cliff. The car fortunately withstood the impact and then careened out
of control off into these woods. She was killed upon impact.

"Helluva car, that's a seventy foot fall."

"More like one hundred and nine feet and the top of the hill is another forty."

"Wow."

"Yeah, the inhabitants of the house requested you. They say they know you."

"Yeah, I was to have lunch there tomorrow."

"Oh, sorry."

"No, it's my job. Has the Coroner ruled her yet?"

"No."

"Is he on his way?"

"Yeah."

"Then, I'll leave my gurney down here and go up there  to speak with
them. Who is she?"

"She's a business woman here locally. This is going to be huge when it
hits the press."

"Oh man."

I sat down and he looked shaken.

"Should I call someone else?"

"No, just let me get my bearings."

"Did you know her?"

"No, I was to meet her tomorrow."

"Oh, she was married."

"No, the family is introducing me to everyone. I'm being introduced
due to a relationship."

"Oh."

"Yeah, this kind of really has shocked me. I never met her, but she
was the one I was most nervous about meeting due to my stance upon
drinking and driving."

"Oh, well, she learned her lesson. I'm not sure her BAC (Blood Alcohol
Content), but I bet it's pegged. No one chooses to drive across a yard
and off a cliff."

"Maybe she passed out."

"I don't know, but let's hope. That would have been a helluva last view."

"Poor Joan, her Sister-In-Law dies at her house. Well, let me go up
there and see her."

As I climbed up the embankment, The ruts the car cut told me it was
under power even to the tree. When I got up to Joan, I walked up and
just held her. She said, "She's dead?"

"Yeah hon, she's dead."

"Oh my."

I turned to Mark and shook his hand. "I'm sorry to meet you this way
Mark. I've met you before, but I'd hoped tomorrow would have been
happier."

Mark shook his head sadly.

Joan said, " I only wish I'd answered the door. We didn't answer the
door because she was so livid. As soon as I heard her yelling, I knew
she was drunk and didn't want to let her in. Now, I wish I'd answered
the door."

"Joan, we don't get to pick the times when it's our last. Just
remember all the good times and don't think of this one."

"It's hard; Poor Mitch and poor poor Ty. Gregory has to be notified
too" She said over my shoulder to Mark.

Mark nodded and said, "I'll call his cell phone and tell him to get home."

"Has Ty been told?"

"He and Mitch are at the hospital. We told them there was an accident."

"Oh man."

	The sick feeling in my stomach just intensified.

"Are you sure they'll want me? I could call someone else."

"No, Mitch asked me who I thought and I said you."

"O.k., but this is going to be so hard on Ty."

"I know. The poor baby. He came over tonight and asked how we thought
it would be best for him to tell his mom. Apparently, she didn't take
it well and blamed me."

"Oh man."

Mark put his hand upon my shoulder and said, "Lance, Ty's thought
enough of you to tell his mom. He's going to need you more than ever.
Tonight, when he was at the house, he was so excited and so hopeful,
it reminded me many years ago when I met Joan. It made me so happy and
proud for the kid..."

His voice broke and then he said, "Do the best you can and be patient
with him. It might not be the best decision to have you as the
undertaker in this, but everyone knows your home is the one to take
people too. I've discussed it with many people and they all think it's
the nicest and you show so much more respect than everyone else."

"Thanks."

"No, you've earned it. So, when I speak to Mitch, I'll tell him it's
because you're the best and your home is big enough to not have people
standing out in the cold. He'll understand."

Mark hugged me and said, "I'd hoped to welcome you into our clan
tomorrow, but I want you to know now you're a part of it. You don't
know it, but you've got Ty's heart."

I told him, "It's funny because tonight, I had dinner with my best
friend and he was the whole topic of conversation between us too."

Joan hugged me from the back and about then, I saw the plumbing truck
pull up. "Guys, Ty and Mitch are here."

Joan's strangled groan, "Oh God."

Ty came running over and ran into my arms. "They told us at the hospital."

"I'm sorry Ty."

"No, she was so mad. She left the house and dad told me to let her go.
I was afraid she was going to your house and I didn't know where you
lived. Then, Aunt Joan called and said, mom had an accident and I
knew."

He started crying and I hugged him closer to me. He cried and said,
"Lance, I need you to meet my dad."

He started to turn and I whispered, "Not now."

He looked up at me and his face was a mixture of emotions. Confusion,
pain, doubt, and fear.

"Ty, they called me to do the funeral for your mom. Him meeting me
right now has to be in a professional sense."

"He knows about us and accepts us. I told them tonight and he accepted
me and she got more angry than she's ever been."

"Ty, I'll meet him, but I'm more worried about you right now."

"I'm o.k., I'm just worried everyone will find out she had been drinking."

"The deputy already knows."

"Oh man, this is going to kill my dad."

"Ty, your dad's going to make it. It will be tough, and I'll do all I
can to help him, but I'm going to be here for you too."

"I'm going to be o.k., don't ask me how because I can't tell you but
I've already prepared myself for this."

I looked at him and he said, "I knew my mom wouldn't accept it. I knew
she'd get angry and I knew I'd probably be disowned by her. It's
embarrassing, but I think that's why I hadn't chosen someone yet. When
I met you, I knew you'd be someone they'd accept...or so I thought."

	I felt a hand upon my shoulder and thought it was Mark. I put my hand
upon it and knew it wasn't Mark. It was a  hand calloused from
working. I turned my head because turning was difficult with Ty
clinging to me.

Mitch smiled and said, "He loves you. I know you two don't know each
other yet, but that boy fought a battle to get the chance for you two
and I just want you to know he loves you."

He stepped up and hugged me, "I want you to know things are rough, but
you two belong together if that's what you want."

"Something within me broke.. The situation wasn't professional for me
at all and the distance I should have kept wasn't where it should have
been. Getting emotionally involved is what sends people over the edge
of alcoholism. For me, I too close emotionally and I broke. I reached
out and hugged Mitch to us and said, "Mitch, I'll give him all the
love I can and you've got it too. What I've got to do is remain
professional and help in that manner too, so I don't want you to think
ill of me."

He smiled and said, "I don't know if Ty's told you about my job, but
it's a plumber. Sometimes, friends call me over and it's a real shitty
mess. If I were to hold that against them, I'd have no friends. I
realize you've got to be professional and all I'm asking is you not
pull back from us. He loves you and I think that's what I'm afraid
most of all here. I know if she'd allowed herself, she'd loved you
too, but she thought more of what other people would think than what
she should have felt herself."

"I understand that. I just wish I could have spoken with her. In my
job, I can't be open publicly with my personal life. It's painful at
times, but I've learned. When I find acceptance, I embrace it. So,
I'll be here for you guys. Now, what I've got to do is the Coroner
just pulled up, so I've got to go."

"Ty was still clinging to me and I said, "Ty, babe, look at me."

He looked up at me and I said, "You go with your dad. I don't want
either of you here when I have to bring her up that hill. It's best
for you that you not see her this way. Please, listen to me and go
home."

"I want to be with you."

"Well, I'll be busy tonight. How about I give you the keys to my house
and you two go there. That way you've got a neutral space you can be."

Mitch looked at me and said, "I'll take him home. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we'll be up, so why don't you come over and bring whatever paperwork..."

"No, I can't do that. Let me keep the lines I have to have drawn here.
Trust me, if I don't, it'll cause me problems later and I don't want
that."

"O.k., but still, come over."

"O.k., I will. Give me your address and I'll be there."

He gave me their address and part of me didn't want to go, but part of
me knew I had to be there. I turned to Joan and said, "Be there for
them. I've got to go down there."

"I'll be there hon, just hurry back."

"I will."

	My attire when I go out to an accident scene is entirely different
than when it's going anywhere else. A lot of times, when Paramedics
see they're not needed, they don't stick around. It's tough work, but
I can usually get help from others to pull the victim from the car and
get them aboard my gurney. One fortunate thing I've done is I bought a
gurney which has a sled bottom. Maybe it's from my internship of
having to carry a body on a gurney through really deep woods for
almost a mile, but I chose a sled and a winch for the back of my
truck. Then, the toughest part is pulling the victim from the wreckage
and getting them on the gurney. I do know the sheriff's department
prefers my setup over others. They make it obvious in their
willingness to help.

	Seeing the Coroner going down the hill, I went over to my truck and
backed it to the edge of the embankment. Once it was situated, I went
to the back and pulled the winch cable down the hill with me.

When I got there, the Coroner looked up at me and said, "Lance, I see
you were busy up there. You going to be o.k, here?"

"Yeah, this one's a little closer than I care to be, but I'll be o.k."

He nodded and said, "The deputy told me what you'd told him earlier.
Just be careful. You're too young, too careful, and too smart to mess
it up."

"I know, I'm really into the gray area, but I'm staying in where I can
handle it. If I'd met her, it'd be different, but I hadn't. Tomorrow
was to be that day."

He nodded and said, "The deputy is listing the cause on his paperwork
as injuries related to an automobile accident and I'm going to do
likewise. The family has to answer less questions, not go through an
autopsy, and I'll tell you now, a woman driving a car off a cliff
after an argument with family could be ruled as suicide."

"Don't do that, I think it was irrational behavior due to alcohol."

"We're not listing that on the report either. An autopsy would have to
be performed and it'd get messy with the inquest and it's just easier
this way. You know and I know what happened and the end result is she
died and that doesn't change a thing. If it were someone else, I'd do
this differently. Each person up there has something to lose if I did
that and it saves a lot of people a lot of problems."

I nodded and said, "They might not say it, but thanks."

"No, just thank yourself for picking friends who are as good as those
people up there. Joan's an angel without wings as far as I'm
concerned. She's made it so much easier for me out there, I'll repay
her that favor."

I nodded and said, "I just met her last night and she's already done
things for me."

"I see."

"Not that it's influencing my judgment here, but the woman in this car
was the one I was worried about meeting."

He nodded and said, "This one in this car has been hell on wheels for
some time. A definite type A control cunt. She's ran her business with
an iron fist and apparently, she ran her family with one too from what
I've heard. The police have had spousal abuses charges several times
on her but let them drop because of who she was. That family will rest
easier now."

The news shocked me, but learning about one's past is something I've
taken as part of the job. It seems mouths stay shut until the casket
lid shuts. This situation would be the same. I just hoped all would
come out well for Ty and whomever Gregg was.

He looked up at me and said, "It seems harsh of her to talk about her
like this right over her body, but I wanted you to know what I saw up
there doesn't change a thing I think about you."

	 For a brief instant, his revelation shocked me and brought about
fear, but his being so forthright was comforting and his words sank
in.

"Thanks."

"No, you're in a good bunch and that boy has a future. Maybe this is
for the best and he'll have one in which he can be his own future.
Sometimes things are meant to be."

I nodded and said, "It's going to be rough. He and I are setting the
foundation for our relationship. He told her tonight and she
apparently went off the deep end."

"Sometimes, it's all about control. She thought she controlled a
perfect little world and when he upset it, she couldn't lash out at
him because she had herself to blame. Not that it was anyone's fault,
so she lashed out at others." He said looking up the hill. "When that
world crumbles, she made a mistake with anger and it now rests here.
Don't let that boy blame himself. He's doing what his heart tells him
and maybe she should have too."

"The family seems to think she thought too much of what everyone else
would think."

He looked at me and said, "This world's changing. She should have
realized that. No one's going to condemn her for a thing someone else
does. We're out of the dark ages son."

"I know that and you know that, but....." I looked down at her.

"Well, let's get her out of there and get her up the hill. You are
wise in the fact you're not lazy. I like that about you. There's
another person in your business that's lazy and lets the wrecker pull
them up the hill and pulls them out. To me, the less people that sees
the dead like this the better."

"You and me both. I just regret her family came here."

"They'll forget this eventually. And, they'll forget the words said in
that house eventually. It's going to be rough. What they won't forget
is kindness. Keep that in mind when you deal with them no matter how
hard it is."

"You sound like you know from experience."

"I had my own situation a long time ago. Maybe I'm doing what I can to
forewarn you, but the one that you don't know is coming home and his
actions are worse than his mother's."

"The other son?"

"Yup."

"Oh, I've not met him."

"Let me say something before anyone else comes down here. I've had one
suspicious death attributed to that son of a bitch and I don't want
yours to be number two."

"Oh, you won't.."

"Bullshit. That's why I'm telling you. If you think picking up the
phone and calling the police is going to protect you, you're crazy.
They cover it up just like we did here. You're dealing with
untouchables, but fortunately, you're in the class yourself. Just
remember that...if he's laying there or you're laying there, I'll have
to go with what's best for the press release the Sheriff releases.
Just make sure it's you standing at the end."

His news shocked me, but I looked at him and said, "there's more than
one way to skin a cat."

"I don't care how it's skinned as long as you hand me the pelt when
your done and tell me it's over. If you're skinned laying there, I
don't think it'll be over until that boy up there gets his own. That's
why I'm telling you."

I nodded and said, "Let's get her up the hill and then I can get my
job done. I'm supposed to go over there to that house tonight and now,
I've got all sorts of doubts."

"My suggestion is getting the boy away from that mess and claiming
him. Let the brother have the seed the mom's sown. That's what he's
being groomed for anyway."

"Oh, I didn't know that, but then again, I'd never heard of him until
we were standing up there."

"They tell you what they're proudest of and don't mention what they
want kept quiet. Learn to keep your mouth shut and ask questions about
what's being kept quiet. You'll learn you've got the knowledge and the
power."

"Cool. I'll do that."

"Advice from someone that won that war."

"Good. I might need to speak to you in the future. Off the record."

"I'll be there."

Together, we pulled her from the wreckage and as the sled was being
drug to the truck, He tucked my required paperwork in my front breast
pocket."

At the top of the hill, the gurney made the rest of the work easy. It
has battery operated lifts which basically hoist itself into the
truck. Then, all it is is clicking three clamps and it's fastened
fast.

I got into the truck and the whole while I drove to the funeral home,
and did my job, I thought about the conversation. My hopes were I
wasn't getting involved in things I couldn't handle, but for some
reason, I thought Ty would be worth it.

After I was done, I went home and took a shower and got redressed in
my Dockers and blue shirt I was planning on wearing today. It was
formal enough to be taken seriously and informal enough to let people
know I wasn't there on business.

As I drove over to their house, I thought more about the conversation.
I didn't know Gregg, but the father, Mitch, and Ty were both
sweethearts. My hope was Gregg didn't fall far from those two.

When I got to their house, Mitch answered the door and told me Ty was
asleep on the couch. He motioned me to the kitchen and said, "I
couldn't get hold of Gregg. He's probably out partying. The boy
doesn't take his schooling seriously. He thinks they'll hand him his
diploma just because he's got a name. I'm afraid he'll learn his
lesson once he's thrown out."

"Sometimes we learn to look where we step after we fall."

He nodded and said, "That one in there is like me too much. Too
cautious to take steps."

"Well, I'll be there for him, so don't worry."

"No, what I want from you is for you to guide him, but don't walk for
him. She did that to me. All along the way, I was told how much she
resented it and how much I wasn't what she wanted me to be when she
wouldn't let me be who I was."

I nodded and said, "He's going to have it different. Loving someone
isn't controlling them."

He touched my arm and said, "Gregg isn't like him. Gregg is like his
mom. She's raised him believing he was the smart one and Ty was weak.
He thinks he's going to come in here and I'm going to hand over that
distributorship. He'll find out when it's all out in the wash, he's
not going to have it. He'll be upset, but it's best for him."

"Man, that's going to bring resentment."

"Yes, and fortunately, she didn't leave it that way in the paperwork.
She set it up in trust, yes, but she left me over that trust. I say
who will run it and who won't. Ty's got his thing and I'm not stepping
in the way. Hell, for too long, she would have let Ty hang out on the
vine until Joanie and Mark stepped in and made her realize her
mistake. Now, Ty's happy and I'm going to see he stays that way.
Gregg's got to realize I'm not as weak as he's been led to believe."

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure."

"Cover yourself with lawyers. He's going to lash out and you know as
well as I do he'll find a lawyer that will have him thinking he can
get it."

"No, he'll be wrong. There's a clause in the trust that says if one
contests it, it will be found legally binding and the other will
inherit all. She put that in thinking Ty would attempt to sue Gregg.
Gregg has no clue it's there, but I knew it was a double edged sword
as soon as I saw it."

"Still, protect the paperwork and stand firm if that's what you want."

"It's what I want. What aren't you telling me?"

"I can't tell you anything, All I can say is all's fair in love and
war and those who seek reinforcements are the ones who prevail. If you
anticipate problems, then you'll already have your flanks covered. If
you don't, then don't be surprised when they attack from that
position."

"You sound like you've got tactical experience."

"To many nights playing video games and a whole lot of martial arts training.."

He chuckled and said, "Ty tonight made me so proud of him. He did
everything the right way. He was polite and he stood his ground. As
soon as he began speaking, I knew what I suspected to be true. Maybe
it was me suspecting, but I had time to prepare myself mentally for
when it came. When he began speaking, I knew and he had my support.
The things she said to him were evil, mean, and vile. He took them and
calmly told her, "Mom, I know you're hurt and I know you're
disappointed, but I'm doing this for me and if it affects your
feelings for me, then I regret it but I won't stand down. She picked
and she prodded and he stood firm. Finally, she thought she could lash
out and take away his future and he told her Joan and Mark knew about
him and were supportive in helping introduce him to someone whom he
thought was worthy of his love. That's when she exploded and left here
in a rage. He thought she was going to you and tried to get hold of
you at the funeral home."

"Why didn't he call me on my house phone or cell phone?"

"His phone got busted."

"How?"

"As I said, she's manipulative. She thought having the phone would
control him. She thought if she threatened to contact you, he'd back
down. He didn't and told her it wouldn't change his feelings for you
and told her that if she influenced your feelings towards him, he'd
never forgive her. That's when she realized her only recourse was to
attempt to control him by taking away him managing the hotel. On her
way out the door, she threw the phone at him and told her she didn't
want him here when she got home. When she left, I told him he wasn't
going anywhere and if she insisted, then I'd back him and  would have
her ejected from this house. It's the one thing I have which is not in
trust."

"Oh."

He looked at me and said, "Lance, he loves you and I know you've not
gotten to know each other yet, but he's fought for you and wants you.
He had to do it this way to make way for a future. What happened up at
Joanie and Mark's tonight I don't know. All I know is she apparently
came roaring up their drive and blared the horn. Then when they didn't
answer the door fast enough, she got in the car and peeled out. I'm
guessing she had it in drive instead of reverse."

"I don't know, I've never been up there, but isn't there a yard area
she drove over before going off the cliff?"

"Yes."

"Then wouldn't she have had enough time to stop?"

"Yes and that's not what is making sense."

"Then I'd say she either passed out behind the wheel, or she intended to do it."

	Now saying this to be quite blunt sent me way out into zones which
had my words holding me liable for a whole lot of things. Once said, I
knew I couldn't retract them, but part of me knew he knew and was
tiptoeing around the issue. Bringing them to light, I knew he'd accept
it.

"Maybe, I do know she was drinking."

"Sir, her blood alcohol level was nearly four times where it is legal."

"She's an alcoholic" Ty said from behind me.

	I closed my eyes and fear consumed me. Lord knows I didn't want him
to hear this conversation.

He came up and hugged me from behind.

"She's an alcoholic." He said again. "It was normal for her. What
wasn't normal was for her to leave here and drive when she was that
angry. All the other times, she lashed out at dad and he'd be the one
to leave when I called the police. Then, she'd go to bed and the next
day she'd pretend it didn't happen. This time, it wasn't dad and it
was me. She knew I wouldn't put up with it and that's why she never
tried hitting me. She chose to attempt to take you from me and the
hotel from me. When she couldn't get that done, she self destructed.
It's like a bullet fragmenting after it's done all the damage it could
do. I love her, but dad, you know as well as I, things wouldn't have
been able to be pretended away after tonight."

"No.....no.....you're right Ty. I wouldn't have let it."

"Dad, when Gregg gets home, let him have the distributorship. It's
only a thing. He'll use it and he'll abuse it just like her and then,
when it's gone, he'll have no one else to blame but himself."

"No, Ty you don't understand. That distributorship has caused all the
damage it is going to in this family. The trust will operate it and he
can realize that and either go to school and get a degree in something
which will support him, or he can get kicked out and I'll wish him
the best in life. But, I'll tell you now, neither of you kids are
going to get the money just handed to you any longer. I'll give you
things you need, but what that money's going to do is be invested and
reinvested into the trust. When I do die, it will be split between you
two equally, but the distributorship by then will be sold. I'll sell
it upon my death bed so it will never go to him."

"Whatever you want to do dad." Ty said. "What matters to me is we as a
family can make it out the other side of this as a unit. Gregg's going
to pull away when he sees he's not going to get what he wants and I
just want him to be happy and stay."

"Ty, if Gregg's loving me is conditional, then it's not going to
matter in the long run whether he gets what he wants or doesn't.
You're there and I know you're sincere, so maybe we'll lose Gregg, or
maybe I will and he'll attempt to use you to get what he wants from
me. I don't know."

"He's not that dumb dad. The moment he comes around me and even
attempts to be nice, I'll know what he's up to. He's never shown me an
ounce of love, so he better not start now."

	Them speaking in this manner so openly sure had me realizing what a
dysfunctional family unit it was. Somehow, I knew it was the calm
before the storm and they were preparing themselves for when Gregg
came home. Being as I am, I knew I needed to lead this to a
constructive atmosphere.

"Guys, I hate to do this, but let's get onto ground which is firmer for me."

Mitch smiled and said, "O.k., what can we help you with?"

"Funeral services. What I'm going to need is an outfit of clothes,
jewelry you want her to wear, and if she had a favorite beautician,
I'll need the person's name."

Ty came and sat down. "I'll get the clothes. Dad, you know what
jewelry she wore most. As for beautician, mom went once a week to the
J.C. Penny salon. I don't know who she had out there, but I'm sure
they would know."

"Not today, but tomorrow, I'll need you guys to come down and pick out
a casket. It's not hard, but it's emotional. Maybe she voiced what she
wanted."

Mitch said, "She wanted White. She wants metal and she wants a rose."

"Interior, what color of interior, White, Light Blue, Peach, Pink, or Beige?"

"White."

"O.k., Now, I'm going to get lost in the details here, but it's pretty
straight forward. I've got to ask the questions and then you'll see
why I ask them as I do. Please don't think I'm being callous here."

Mitch nodded and said, "We won't."

"Handles on the casket, they have a variety of styles."

"Chrome. She hated the brass ones whenever we saw them on someone else's."

"O.k., ornate, or plain."

"Give her ornate."

"Ok., now, I'm going to ask the next question so you can know how it
is. My funeral home has a theme based funeral. It's no extra cost, but
it's the details that make a difference."

"Favorite photos of the family and of any trips. I'll need them all
throughout her life from when she was little all the way until
current."

"O.k., we've got tons of photos."

"I can scan whatever you don't want me to take. The laptop and scanner
is in my truck. Let me go get it and then I can ask these questions
better."

I went out to the truck and as I was closing the door,  a truck sped
up their driveway. The way he drove, I knew either the guy was pissed
or was drunk. He pulled up in the yard and stopped inches from me.
When he got out, he said, "Sure took your sweet assed time to get the
body, didn't you??"

"Excuse me?"

"If you're just getting here, you're sure taking your fucking time."

"It might be if I were running that late, but I'm not, I'm here making
arrangements."

"At five am on a Sunday morning? What a fucking ambulance chaser."

"And what a presumptuous prick. Excuse me dude, but you don't know me,
and I don't owe you a fucking breath, so get something through that
fucking head of yours. You can attempt to pick at me and I'll fight
back or you can back off and I'll chill. Got me?"

"Chill dude."

"That's what I thought. Now, we're making arrangements and I'd be
happy to have your input. They're upset in there and they've been
waiting on you to come home. They're worried shitless about how you're
going to handle it. My advice is to act a little emotional because
what I'm NOT seeing now is you doing it."

"Man, the bitch hated my guts and sent me off to be in school so I
wouldn't get into her business. Every time I thought I could count on
her, she stepped off in my ass and told me what a disappointment I
was, so you won't see tears here."

"O.k."

I turned and looked at Gregg. It was the first time I'd ever seen him
and his looks in different circumstances would have had me begging to
swing off his dick. But, little nuances told me he was in pain, but
was hiding it under false bravado."

"Gregg, look at me and before we go in there, tell me what you're feeling."

"What are  you, a fucking shrink?"

"No, I'm someone who cares for you and this family. When I'm done with
the funeral, you're going to still see me."

"What the fuck? The undertaker that won't go away!"

"No, someone that's your brother's lover."

"What! He's a faggot!"

"Yeah, and so am I and this faggot's about to break one off in your
ass. So, shut up."

"You think you're tough, step up punk!"

"One moment Gregg." I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Heather's
number. She answered and I said, "Sis, could you get me some bail
money together?"

"What the fuck!" came her startled voice.

"Yeah, I've got a punk here standing in front of me that just
threatened me. He thinks I'll back down and he doesn't realize that as
an undertaker, I could hide bodies in places he never thought."

She caught on and said, "Let me speak to his dumb ass. Who is it?"

"It's Ty's brother, Gregg."

"Oh, is he hot?"

"Yeah, in a heartbeat if I'd not met Ty, I'd be giving this one a ride
he'd never forget."

"So, you want me to wear leather?"

"Yeah toots."

"Be right there, you at Ty's house?"

"Yeah, here's the address."

When I snapped the cell phone shut, I turned to Gregg and said, "That
punk was your last hope. She's my little sister and she says she'll
come over and kick your ass so I can do the funeral."

"What!"

"Yeah, I'd break you in half within a second, but I think you need a
girl's special touch. It sounds like you need it."

"Dude, a fag's going to call his sister to whip my ass!"

"Yeah and it's pissing me off for you to continue using the word, so
what I'm going to do is go in here and zone you out. You had
opportunity to not piss me off and you had opportunity to make a
difference in your family."

"Well, you obviously don't know who I am."

"Yeah, I've heard. Everyone had shivered when they mention your name.
Well, punk, my right hand is the Grim reaper and my left hand is
death, so fuck with me puh-leaze."

"I'm someone who will take down your business. I just inherited more
money than you'll ever see."

"Oh really? Because they're in there making it so that doesn't happen
and my stalling you probably got that decided."

He looked at me and I smiled, "Just remember, she's on her way over
here to kick your ass. So, when she gets here, it's not going to be
pretty."

"Yeah, in your dreams."

"Nightmares for you."

We went into the house and he shoved me. Let me give you a bit of
background info.

A bit of growing up with Heather is her parents insisted upon her
going to martial arts training. She wouldn't go unless I got to go
too. When we were about twelve, I stopped because I got my second
degree black belt. Heather kept going and besides Tai Qwon Do, she
learned Judo, and Jujitsu. Her ritual of Tai Chi had her toned and
fit. Mine, I kept up with, but never figured I'd need it in my
profession. I guess I was wrong.

As I said, he shoved me and smooth as a cat, I had him tripped in the
front entry hall. The commotion brought in Ty and Mitch, and Gregg
started screaming about how I'd shoved him down.

I pulled Gregg up and pinching the back of his arm, I said, "Gregg,
I'm sorry, it must've been an accidental reaction to you thinking you
could put your hand on me. Just remember my little sister and my
promise, o.k.!"

Ty looked at me and said, "She's coming!"

"Yeah, you met her. She wants to meet Gregg."

Gregg looked at Ty and then at me and I think Gregg realized Heather
did exist and I think he got worried.

Mitch looked at us and I said, "Mitch, Ty, I met Gregg out front. He
and I have achieved an understanding. And I think he's about to
apologize for being a dick to you guys. I think he's wanting to do
that because when the woman of his dreams gets here, they're going to
go be alone so Gregg can have a new start on a better attitude."

Mitch looked at me and then at Gregg and said, "Gregg, is this true?"

"No, it's not true. I'm here to get the bitch buried and get what I
have coming and then I'm out of here."

Mitch looked at me and then at Gregg and he shook his head. "For a
moment Gregg, I had hope. I see you're not changing, so I'll do that
for you. Your mother put the distributorship in trust and I'm head of
it. I'll tell you now it's not going to ever have you heading it. I'm
sorry you felt that way about your mom, but she died and not me,
otherwise you might have gotten it."

Gregg looked at Mitch and said, "You spineless motherfucker! You let
her take it from me and then you're going to take it too!"

I interrupted, "Gregg, two seconds and I'll shut your mouth for you."

"Like hell fag...."

He never finished the word because my hand went out to his throat.

"People warned me about you. The Coroner standing over you mom's
lifeless body told me you were responsible for a suspicious death and
you were protected from prosecution. He told me to get you before you
got me. I thought it wouldn't come to this. So, DO I finish the job
here? Or, do I let go and let the next words that come out of that
mouth be an apology to everyone here because if you think I'm letting
you go to disrespect those here who don't deserve it, you're one
warning away from me snapping. And, I'll tell you now you're the one
that will fall."

He was shocked. Mitch didn't say a thing and Ty looked at me with awe.

Gregg's face had turned from red to purple and I knew he was a
cunthair from blacking out. He nodded and I eased up my thumb over his
jugular but didn't let my grasp go completely.

"You may speak now Gregg."

"Guys, I'm sorry."

"And!"

"And, I'm sorry I disrespected you."

"O.k., so here the deal Gregg and maybe it's not my business, but your
partying days are over at school. In order to get a hope of running
things, you've got to concentrate and you've got to accel. Your
attitude has to change and you've got to start being a member of
fraternal organizations and donating your time to worthwhile causes.
Every other weekend,  you'll come home and you'll do a piss test for
your dad. In return, he'll give you a fucking allowance. No money gets
handed off to you in the future and if you don't like it, he'll cut
you off now. Got it?"

He nodded.

"I'll let you up, but don't get stupid and think I'm not forgetting
you got your final warning. Now, get your ass in there and you sit it
down and we're going to plan a funeral for a loving mother, wife, and
business leader of our community. If you can't find the feelings, then
fake it for all I care, but when I need you to be there, you be there
and you perform flawlessly. Got it?"

What was funny was even Mitch said "Yes" in answer to what I said.

I let Gregg go and he looked at me like he was shocked someone had
treated him in the manner I had.

"Gregg, I've got ears all over the place and believe me, I'll hear if
you've screwed up. Your dad might not come get you out of that school,
but I'll be there like a black cloud to piss on the parade you've got
going."

"I won't. You want me to change and I'll change."

"No, I want you to better yourself. Maybe your mom didn't know how to
show love, but sometimes love is shown by giving it to yourself when
it's not provided by others. Tonight, Ty told her he was going to do
that and she self destructed. The end result is now we're at a cross
road. Change happens or it doesn't. You can do it and I believe in
you. They believe in you and if you feel weak, give me a call. If
you've got people that won't  back off, then give me a call. It's not
weak if someone comes in and makes your day better and it's not going
to be seen as weak if Heather comes in and cleans house. They'll be so
ashamed they'll be pissing themselves.

He nodded and said, "What's your name?"

"Lance."

"Lance, I'm Gregg. Can we start over?"

"Sure, but no, we can't Gregg. What you can do is remember what I
requested and as long as you forget the drama, I'll forget it too."

"O.k."

Mitch smiled and gave Gregg a hug. Ty smiled and came over and said,
"I'm really falling for you."

"I promised someone I would let you walk your path. I'm going to do
that. I just removed some obstacles for you and for him."

I looked up and said, "Gregg, if you're drinking as much as your mom
was, then it's going to be hard. I'll tell you now it's going to take
all you have to do it. I'm not a believer in rehab clinics and I'm not
a believer in hope. What I am a believer in is a set of handcuffs and
the power they possess. You might ask what I'm referring to and I'll
tell you. You see a man can say he's an alcoholic and kill someone
behind a wheel. The judge might even slap his hand. BUT, isn't it
fucking amazing the man couldn't control his drinking in the free
world but he can when he's behind the fences of a prison. He's able to
cross those fences to go get the drink at any time he wants to, so
that tells me he's blaming it upon it having control over him when
he's really got control over it. He finds that strength with the help
of a fence. My twelve step program includes a pair of handcuffs also.
The twelve steps you'll find are to the basement of my funeral home.
Either stop it or you'll find your ass down there."

He looked at me and said, "I will stop."

"No, tell me you HAVE stopped. I don't want WILL in the sentence.
Tonight, alcohol cost you your mom. It's nearly cost you a future. It
cost Ty a mother that loved him unconditionally, but you boys have a
father that will do that. Love him and I'll support you every step of
the way and we'll be a family."

He settled and I saw the anger replaced by the pain.

"Why'd she do it?"

Mitch answered, "Gregg, she did it because she played all her aces and
found out it wasn't going to work. A huge part of me wants to believe
she passed out behind the wheel, but in my heart of hearts, I think
she realized the road to help and the road to being healthy was too
tough. She didn't realize love can change things and how fast they'll
change. I think you just met love head on and you survived."

Gregg smiled and nodded, "If he fights as tough against others to
protect Ty, they don't have a chance."

"You got that right, but in this relationship, Ty's got options and
he's got free will. Hell, we've not even had a first date yet and both
of us have fought battles against this family to do it. That sucks."

Gregg nodded and said, "You've got my permission. I think you'll be
good for him. You didn't lay out any options I didn't think of before,
but I was just too lazy to do them myself."

"No, they're not hard. You'll see me doing it and you'll see Ty doing
it. Ty doesn't realize it, but what organizations he's not a member, I
will be. Believe me when I say we're going to expect you to be at the
meetings."

"Well, I've got a question about an organization which isn't one you
think of normally, but I'd like to be a member of it."

"What's that?"

"Loafers."

"O.k., your truck's cool if you'll drive it with sense. That stunt out
there a minute ago is what set me off. They meet the last Tuesday of
the month and the second Thursday. I'm a member."

"You!"

"Yeah, that truck out there I drive qualifies and take a look and
you'll see a Loafers sticker in the rear window. It's won Shine and
Show the last two shows. Each of my funeral cars get the treatment it
gets and if I put all three in a show, I'll tell you there's a three
way tie coming."

"Really!"

"yeah, it takes work to get them there, but once they're there, it's
easy to maintain them. I'll tell you the trick which wins me awards."

"What?"

"Rolling the truck back a foot and shining the tire so even when it's
rolled forward, it's shined. It's come down to that detail once in a
competition and I won. Also, a white glove ran over it will not find
anything."

"Wow."

"Yeah, so if you want to be a member, you'll have to wait until
college is over, but they'll be glad to have you and I'll sponsor your
membership."

"O.k."

Gregg looked at me and said, "I'd like to see your truck better. "

Ty looked at him and said, "I've not ridden in it, but it's beautiful."

"It is, and compared to other Escalades, it stands out because it's a
funeral car. People don't expect to see one at a show and when they
see one that doesn't look like all the rest, it wins them over. Now,
let's get to the questions, my laptop's booted."

Mitch said, "Gregg, I'm sorry we couldn't tell you better than the way
you got told."

"It's no problem dad. I was over at a girl's house and being a jerk to
her. When I checked my messages, I left her and came right home."

"Is it someone you want to know better?" Ty asked.

"No, but for me, that all stopped a few minutes ago. From now on, I'm
going to either be serious, or I won't be seeing someone."

"Cool" Ty stated.

Mitch said, "What's the next question Lance?"

"Groups and organizations your mom was a member."

"She was a member of the Lions and the Rebekkahs. Dad's an Odd Fellow." Ty said.

"O.k.,  Cool, Mitch, how does the Odd Fellows work about age requirements?"

"They'll take the boys, but I'd prefer they wait until twenty one."

"How old are you guys?"

Gregg smiled and said, "I'm twenty."

Ty blushed and then looked down, "I'm eighteen. I'll be nineteen March 17th."

"St. Patrick's Day....cool, I'll be able to remember that."

"How will you remember it? I can't remember it." Gregg stated.

"Easy, I'll be green with jealousy if another man remembered it and I didn't."

"Oh, that's cool."

"What's yours, Gregg?"

"August fifth."

"Easy,"

"How'd you remember it?" asked Mitch, I can't remember it.

"If you want to know, it's a gay guy remembering it, so just
understand when I tell you. Gregg's hot in his own way. I think Ty's
better, but that's me. So, Hot in months means August to me and I'd
have to be drunk not to see how hot he is so that'd have me drinking a
fifth of anything."

"Cool" Ty said. "I'll have it memorized now. Not that I think Gregg's
hot, but by remembering you think I'm hotter." He laughed.

Gregg chuckled and I asked, "When was your mom's birthday."

"December Twelfth" everyone said. "She ingrained that into us and we'd
never better forget it."

"What's your dad's?"

I looked at Mitch and he looked at the boys. They didn't know.

"I find it really fucking sad you know your mom's because she was so
insecure she'd be forgotten and your dad took back seat. He's in the
driver's seat now, so we're going to remember it and I better hear him
tell me from now on you guys remembered. When is it Mitch."

"January 4th."

"O.k., I've got it memorized."

"How'd you do it?" asked Ty.

"He's the head of the house, so he's number one. There's four in this
family and that's the day."

"Sorry dad" Said Gregg.

"No problem, your mom would have thrown a fit if you remembered it"

"That sucks." I said "But, it changes from now on."

"O.k." said Ty. He reached his hand out to his dad and put it on his dad's hand.

"Ok, The obituary is going to be lengthy because she's a local
business person. Don't ask me why, but the newspaper thinks quantity
means quality. What I do in these instances is I request a full page
so photos of her life are given as a memorial to her. They give it and
surprisingly, they don't charge for it. I imagine it's all the
advertising she did through them, but I don't know."

"Well, when they ask who's going to head the business, I'll tell them
I'm heading it." said Mitch. "I had to go to those training seminars
too and I can do it. What they'll expect is for me to keep the numbers
up and to keep the good will in the community out there. So, I can do
that."

He looked at Gregg and said, "Gregg, if you'll shape up, I'll hand
over the reins when I retire, however I'll tell you now, that will
only be after you've stood by my side and ran the company with me for
ten years. After that, then I'll expect you to run it with dignity. If
during a period of five years after the day you take over, there's one
incident which brings one ounce of ill will towards this family, I'll
tell you now, I'll step in and sell it. If you can do that, then by
then, I'll have enough money in the trust that Ty will receive the
same amount. You two are equal in my eyes and as much as your mom
didn't even try to hide it, I promise you now I mean it."

"O.k." Said, Gregg.

Mitch looked at Gregg and said, "Now, what are your grades really
looking like at this college and I don't want any bull."

"They're sucking, but they will come up."

"O.k." Mitch said

"Do you and your wife have plots picked out, or have a favorite grave yard?"

"No, we never picked one out. I'll leave it up to the boys what they
want to do there."

Gregg looked at me and then looked at Ty, "What do you think Ty?"

"Mom never said if she'd like a grave, or not. I know she never went
to grandma and grandpa's grave, so to me, it never mattered to her.
It's your call Gregg."

Gregg looked at me and said in a small voice, "This is going to sound
cruel, but my memories of her are going to be bad. I've heard they can
take cremated ashes and make different things. What I'd like to have
done is for her to be cremated and the ashes be placed in a bronze
sculpture and be placed in the sculpture gardens downtown."

"I don't know if they'll let it happen. Part of me says they'll do it
since she was a prominent business person, but a bigger part of me
says the city council will balk because they'll see it as if they do
it for her, they'll have to let everyone be put in there. I'll see if
I can get some answers from the city manager. The other side of the
coin would be finding a piece of land shortly outside of the city
limits and then placing the sculpture there along with a fountain, and
a asphalt drive and make it so it's an open picnic ground so people
could go there and enjoy their families. I know some people in the
garden society who would jump at the opportunity to landscape it and
that'd be undercutting the city. Or, you could do it along the highway
and based upon her stature, we could appeal to the state and have it
be a designated rest area."

"Cool, you'd do that?" Gregg asked.

"No, but I'll help you if you guys want to do it."

Ty smiled and knew I'd thrown the ball in Gregg's court so hard he
knew it was a direct challenge to not think of himself, but to think
of his mother's memory.

He looked at me and said, "O.k., we've got options. Let's have her
cremated and we'll find the statue first of all and then if the city
won't consider it, I'll get together with dad and we'll do the picnic
grounds idea. I think that would be a good option because I could help
a Boy Scout achieve his Eagle Merit badge at the same time."

"Cool, and a good idea." I said.

The door bell rang and I looked at Ty and Mitch, "Let Gregg answer it.
It's the queen of bad attitudes. Gregg, just be nice to her and she'll
settle. Don't fuck with  her too bad because she'll be serious as a
heart attack on you."

"O.k., is she cute?"

"She's my little sis, she's a babe, but don't tell her I said it."

Ty chuckled and said, "Gregg, you'll like her. She's a knock out."

Gregg said, "She single?"

"She's got a serious date in a week. If you can make her head turn,
then all the power to you, but you better be serious because she's
closer to me than my right nut and I'll cut yours off if you hurt
her."

"Damn dude, chill."

"Go answer the door Gregg and turn that charm onto her."

Gregg went to answer the door and Ty looked at me and chuckled.
"Wouldn't it be amazing if you and her got together with Me and
Gregg."

"It'd be awesome, but Gregg had better respect her because she's never
been with anyone more than a date and most of those have been with me,
so that don't count."

"Why not?"

"She thinks she's not worthy or something, but she's a real sweetheart."

Gregg brought her in and seeing her outfit caused me to blush. She
looked like something straight out of a dominatrix shop. She looked at
me and said, "He says you already handled it!"

"Yeah sis, he chose his battle and I couldn't wait around."

"Shit, and I got all dressed up so I could intimidate him."

Gregg smiled and said, "Looks pretty hot to me."

She looked at him and said,  "Is this guy for real?"

"I told him if he wasn't I'd cut his nuts off."

"Ooh, and he took the bargain."

Ty smiled, "Yeah, he bargained the family jewels."

She smiled and said, "He's a babe."

"Yeah, and so's mine."

"Yeah, but he's a BABE!" she whispered.

"Well, get to know him. Pull up a seat."

"I feel like I'm not dressed for the occasion."

"Sis, you're dressed in black, what the hell else could they want!"

Mitch busted out laughing and said, "You didn't introduce us."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mitch, Ty, and Gregg, this is Heather. She's my best
friend in the world and Heather, this is Ty's dad and his brother.
We've been planning their mom's funeral."

"Okay...and you are fine with me dressed in this manner? Because I
could really use a house coat about now."

I stood up and handed her my suit jacket. "Sis, it doesn't go with
your outfit, but now, do you feel better?"

"Much better, but I think Gregg liked me as I was."

Gregg blushed and Ty chuckled. I looked at Gregg and he smiles shyly
at me. "Gregg, you know the ground rules. Go play if you want, but
what I did earlier, she can do six different ways before you know it
was done. She's a girl...she doesn't fight fair."

"Shush you!" she giggled.

"Well, you don't. But I love ya just the same."

"Yeah and I love you too."

"ANYways, guys the next thing I need to ask is this and I'm going to
explain it so it makes sense. This here is signature forms for me to
do the embalming and services. Kinda sorta, I should have had this
paperwork signed before I did anything, but the embalming's already
done. Her body's already been prepped for makeup and she's fit to be
cremated if you want a closed casket and cremation. If you don't want
embalming, then I apologize."

Mitch said, "NO, we asked you to do your job and you did it. Here, let
me sign the papers."

He signed the papers and then, I said, "O.k., here's what I suggest
and you can either do it, or not. It's up to you."

"What's that?"

"O.k., What you've got is a fork in the road funeral service. You've
got her in a casket which is good for a viewing, but you've got a
cremation which doesn't require a casket. You can rent the casket and
it'll cost you half the cost of a casket, or you can burn the casket
and they'll do it. But, what I suggest is do the viewing and then do
the cremation and then donate the casket back to me and I'll use it
for a person's funeral who can't afford the full cost of a funeral.
Now, it's an option, but I can't charge you for full the use of the
casket."

Ty looked at me and said, "That was confusing."

Mitch looked at him and said, "O.k., let me explain it and then you'll
understand it. Say your toilet was broke but your house was going to
be torn down in a month. If you wanted a toilet, I would tell you I
could fix it for you, but it'd cost you the full price of a toilet.
Now, I could lease the toilet to you for half the cost of a toilet and
you can eat the cost of it, or I could sell you the toilet and with
your permission, come back and get the toilet and then donate it to
someone who is needy and could use it. But, I can't tell you who that
person would be...which is understandable, but you have to just trust
I'll be a man of my word and not go out selling the toilet to someone
else."

"Yeah, that's perfect. BUT, you get to write that off as a donation
and I'll get you the tax forms for that."

Ty looked at his dad and said, "That's cool. We'd be able to help
someone who needed it."

"Yeah, that's the general idea."

Ty smiled and said, "I say do it."

Gregg nodded and Mitch said, "Do that and I know you'll do it."

"O.k, so the next question is already a given because Gregg got told
earlier it was going to happen. What I'll do is not have you charged
for it since I made it mandatory, but I will need you to sign off on
the box there. And that is a viewing or what is commonly called a
visitation."

Ty smiled and said, "I agree."

Mitch nodded and Gregg said, "I agree, but you don't know how hard
it's going to be Lance."

"No, and I'll tell you why it's not going to be hard."

"Why?"

"You're going to be standing up there and all these people are going
to be up there smiling and they're going to be telling you what a
great person your mom was. You'll be wondering how the hell they knew
such nice things about your mom that you didn't and you'll soon
realize that person's as full as shit as a Christmas goose. They'll
all be and what's sad is about halfway through this farce, you're
going to be hit by how sad it is your mom was so fake with everyone
and how nice it would have been if she'd given everyone a chance."

Mitch said, "She loved me once, I think, but I don't know. There were
years when the boys were born that I loved her, I know. After Ty was
born, she inherited the distributorship and we moved to this house.
Then, she got to be really hateful. It got to be so that I looked at
this house and hated it because it took the love and it was gone. You
don't know how many times I drove by that little house we used to live
in and wish we had the love back."

Heather said, "That's sad."

Mitch nodded and said, "Yeah, it's sad because I know she was a great
person. When we dated, she had so many hopes and dreams and I
genuinely believed all she wanted to be was a plumber's wife. Then,
her parents and her brother were killed in that car wreck and she was
left  holding the bag on the distributorship. She really hated it and
I think she really resented me because I didn't want to run it by
myself. I told her I'd run it with her and she got really hateful and
said if she had to be in it, she'd run the thing herself. It didn't
matter to me what she did with it because I was doing what I wanted to
do...be a plumber."

Heather said, "So, I'm getting this...she got hateful because she
didn't want to run it. Why didn't she just sell it?"

"Beats me. I told her to, but she said it'd be selling her family's
legacy." Mitch shrugged.

Gregg wondered aloud, "I wonder if she'd sold it if she would have
been a good mom."

"Me too" said Ty

"Well, boys, if I get that way running it, then tell me and I'll sell
it. Whatever it becomes doesn't matter to me if it costs me this
family's love."

"Dad, if you don't want to run it, then sell it." Said Gregg.

"No, you'll learn something about me Gregg, and that's I really did
want to be in there with your mom. Every seminar and meeting we went
to, I was there learning beside her. Not one time did she accept any
ideas I had and believe me, I had plenty. Now, I've got a chance to do
something with those ideas and I've got hope. Plumbing isn't as it
used to be and it cost more and more to stay in the business. So, what
I can do is sell the business and give the effort I wanted to do with
your mom."

"Wow" said Heather.

She looked at Gregg and said, "O.k., what am I missing here?"

I turned to her and said, "Gregg's going to be a good boy and he's
going to shape up. He's going to be a member of organizations and he's
going to start making good grades. When he's done with school, he goes
into the business with his dad and they run it together for ten years.
Then, after that, Gregg takes it and runs it. If at any time Gregg
drops the ball and screws up for five years, Mitch will come in and
sell it."

Heather nodded and said to Gregg, "Can you keep your head out of your
ass for that long?"

"Yeah, but Lance and Ty and Dad have all said they'd help me and be
there to give me support. Lance has said he'll come in and help me and
has even offered your help if anyone gives me shit at school over not
drinking and buckling down."

"You agreed." she looked at him with a cocked head.

"Yeah, it's things I wanted to do but didn't have the inner strength
to do before. It was too easy being popular."

"O.k." She said. Then, she looked at me and said, "You offered my help
without asking me?"

"Sis, I knew you'd help."

"Asshole, ask me next time."

"Ok, but sis, Gregg's a great guy if you give him a chance.

"Yeah, even the best decorated vehicles can turn out to be lemons, so
now we're having a lemon tell us it's going to suddenly start  running
good."

"Yeah, and we're going to be there to invest the time into Gregg
because we believe in him. He'll shape up."

She looked at Gregg and said, "Gregg, let's go in here so I can speak with you."

He followed me and I looked at Mitch, "She likes him, I can tell.
She's going to put the fear of God into him and then she'll sign on
board."

Ty chuckled and said, "Dad, she doesn't normally dress like that. I
think she did it to make Gregg afraid of her."

Mitch chuckled and said, "I nearly died when Lance said, "She's
dressed in black!" He slapped his knee and gave a belly roll. "I
wasn't going to laugh because she looks like a sweet girl."

"She is."

Gregg came in and said, "Lance, would you come here for a minute."

I looked at Mitch and Ty and said, "Excuse me."

I went into the living room and said, "O.k., guys what's up?"

Gregg looked at Heather and said, "you ask him?"

Heather gave me a sheepish grin and said, "Lance, come here, I need to
ask you a question."

"O.k., what do you want dear?"

"I'm deciding on something and I want your opinion"

"Ok?"

"Well, I told him if I signed on board, we have to date."

"O.k.?"

"And, he said he'd only date if it was with intentions of marriage
because he promised you."

"O.k.?"

"And, I told him that would be all fine and good, but I'm planning on
seeing someone else and he told me to either be serious, or not, that
in order to see him, he wanted a commitment."

I looked at Gregg and said, "Do you mean it?"

Gregg smiled and said, "You really did mean it when you said she's a knock out."

Heather looked at me and slapped my arm, "Why the hell don't you tell
me these things!"

"Babe, if I told you those things, you'd think I was more serious than
I am. Then, that'd be leading you on. That's not fair to you, so I
keep my mouth shut."

"I tell you you're hot all the time."

"And, you tell me you'd have my babies too. If I played along, you'd
build yourself up. Now, you've got someone here who wants to give you
those babies and you want to ask him if he's serious."

"What about Norman?"

"Well, does Norman want a date, or is he telling you he wants
commitment like Gregg is?"

"Oh man, how am I going to tell Norman I can't."

"Do it in a way that tells him you're sorry, but someone else stepped
up to the plate and he's more serious than you imagined. Then, offer
him a chance with one of those girls at that table and offer to set
him up with one."

"You're too sweet."

I looked up at Gregg and said, "You hurt her, what's left of you, I'll kill"

He smiled and said, "Lance, look at her! She came in dressed in that
outfit and it just screamed at me, and then you put your jacket on her
and it screamed at me again. If every time she gets dressed in
something, it turns me on, then what will I do if she takes her
clothes off?"

"Run!"

Heather slapped me and I said to Gregg, "Here's the deal and you can
take it, or not. Heather and I have a standing date on Saturday
nights. We'll move the day to another day, but we get the entire
evening for us. You, your brother, and your dad can have that as a
boy's night, and you can take Bub, but Biff and Bridgett get to come
with us."

Heather chuckled and Gregg gave me a look and said, "Who the hell are
Biff, Bridgett, and Bub?"

Heather's chuckles turned to full out laughter and I said, "Your kids."

"I don't want no kid named Bub!"

I turned to Heather and said, "See, I told you Bub's an asshole, even
Gregg don't want him!"

Gregg looked at me and I stood up and hugged him, "Gregg, since we
were little, we've had this joke ever since she said she'd have my
babies for me. So, we had fictional kids. Bub's the asshole of the
bunch, You'll catch onto the jokes and just realize we've been friends
since we were six years old."

"Wow and not one time did you think she's a knockout!"

"No, but I do think she's great looking, but sexually, no."

"Wow, you really are gay!"

"I tell him that all the time" she said.

Gregg said, "Lance, I know I'm supposed to be in mourning for my mom,
but it's hard feeling anything for her except pity and anger. Do I
have to be in mourning so bad I can't see Heather while I'm off of
school?"

"Ask her, I'm not the one who's running your social lives."

"But you told me I had to put up a good show!" he whined plaintively.

"Oh hell, if Heather agrees, then go out, but I want you there at
visitation and I want you there for all the functions. There's no
changes in that decision."

Heather stood up and said, "Gregg, I'll stand there with you and you
just dab our eyes with Kleenex. It will make you look mournful and
you'll be amazed at how it'll go over. I'll hold your hand and when
someone comes along that I think will look at you doing it with such
sympathy that they'll go out and tell everyone how broken up you were
over her death, then I'll squeeze."

He looked at her and said, "That'll be cool because the others will
say I've got the best looking girlfriend they've ever seen."

She smiled and then I turned to her. "Heather, here's something you
need to think about."

"What's that babe?"

"Joan said she thinks you're prime material for being an
administrator. All you have to do it get more education. If your sig o
is in college, then you could go back and get it. I bet Joan will even
find a way for the hospital to pay for it."

"She said that?"

"Yeah."

"Cool"

Gregg looked at me and said, "Heather, my Aunt is a real great woman.
If she said that, then she meant it. If the hospital doesn't pay, then
I'll ask dad and he'll pay for it. I'd really like to have us be
together."

She looked at him and said, "Gregg, let's get the first date done and
then I'll give you another and another and then we'll cross that
bridge. If you're genuinely serious, then I'll do it."

They hugged and he said, "Lance, thanks."

"No problem, I knew she'd think you were hot just as soon as I saw
you. We both were looking at your brother and since I got him and
you're straight.....well, she got you."

Ty came into the living room and said, "Dad said he's going to bed.
He's tired. What are you guys talking about?"

"Well, you remember when you came up to tell me there wasn't any
creamy Italian?"

Ty looked at me and began giggling. Heather looked at me like I'd lost
my head and she snorted which really got Ty laughing. Heather started
laughing and then she said to me, "You are so dead."

Gregg looked at us and I said, "Gregg, some day Heather's going to get
lessons on something and when she does, she's going to come home and
practice When that day comes, you'll be truly amazed."

By this time, Ty and Heather are rolling and I said, "Gregg, the night
Ty and I met, we were at the table and I was telling Heather that she
couldn't watch me have sex with him because I'd give him head and
she'd wonder how the hell I did the things I did with my throat. Then
I told her it wouldn't be the time for me to give lessons. About then,
that stud came over and told me he didn't have creamy Italian but he
had ranch. I told him if he was the cowboy and he still didn't take
the hint I wanted his phone number."

Gregg looked at Ty and said, "Oh brother, I've ignored you too long.
That was a come on if I ever heard one."

Ty smiled and said, "If I gave him my number, and he'd been straight,
then I would have gotten fired."

"Ty, think of it, how many straight guys do you hear talking about giving head?"

"None"

And, if someone ask you if you'll be their cowboy, wouldn't you take
it they were interested? Sheesh, I'm not gay and I got that one!"

Ty looked at me and said, "Thank God for Aunt Joan."

Gregg gave him a look and said, "Aunt Joan was there!"

"No, she met him at a party and got his number and then gave it to me."

"Wow, Aunt Joan's going around getting guy's numbers for you? She
never did that for me!"

Ty looked at him and said, "You wouldn't know what to do with a guy's
phone number if she got you one."

Gregg looked at him and started laughing. Heather looked at Ty and
said, "Ty, you're my new little bro, but that one put you into the
blond hall of fame."

"They have one!"

I went over and hugged him and said, "Babe, come here. We've not even
gotten to be together and they're picking on you."

He snuggled into my embrace and said, "Man, you smell good, what
cologne is that?"

Heather said, "That's your man hon. You could smell him in a crowd."

Gregg said, "He did smell good when we hugged, but I was too shy to
ask what cologne it was."

I looked at them and said, "Guys, each of us has an individual smell.
Mine is this one. I can't wear deodorant and I can't wear cologne
because it makes everything smell awful on me."

Ty looked at me and said, "If I smelled that way, I wouldn't want to
wear anything else."

"Well, I'm yours hon, so don't worry."

He looked at me and said, "Lance, this is going to sound funny, but
would you go to bed with me and just hold me so I don't sleep alone?"

"Babe, I'll do it and you don't have to worry. I'll hold you."

"Man, you don't know how long I've just wanted to be held while I was sleeping."

Heather turned to Gregg and said, "If I take these leathers off, are
you going to throw wood?"

"Probably."

She looked at him and said, "Well, If I leave them on, you'll throw
wood and if I take them off, you'll throw it, so either way...If you
want to be held while you sleep, I'll do it too."

"No, I just want to sit in here and have you hold me on the sofa."

I looked at Heather and said, "Babe, I'm taking Ty home with me. Tell
Mitch  I'll bring him back and I think it's best we call Joan. They've
been through trauma too. They watched a dear friend die tonight."

Ty said, "Man, I forgot about them."

"I'm sure they'll understand."

"Well, they might, but I need to call them."

"It's about six thirty, let's wait."

"O.k, "

We left and as we drove to my house, Ty held my hand. He said, "
Lance, thank you. You've been way better than I ever imagined."

"No, I've been a dick."

"How?"

"Your brother is now afraid of me."

"No, he's now giving you a chance because you taught him not to
underestimate you. Either you had to do it, or he would have pushed
you to it, but the side of him I'm seeing now, I've not seen since we
were little."

"Wow"

"Yeah, he's got his guards down and that's what it took. I think it
was for the best."

"Well, I hated doing it."

"Well, did you see dad complaining?"

"No, and that's because he was worried about what Gregg was going to
do. I'll tell you now Gregg's going to fall hard for her."

"Well, she'll certainly be the best thing for him."

"Yeah and I'm really excited for him because I know if given love,
he'll be great."

"The person I'm worried about is your dad."

"Dad will be o.k."

"No, it's going to hit him hard. Right now, he's still in a bit of
shock because he's going to be 'up' for you kids, but when the house
is empty and silent is when it will hit him and that's when he'll need
us."

"You think?"

"Yeah, whenever I have a funeral like this, I tell the person to give
me a call any time day or night and I'll be there. Usually within a
week, I'm getting that call and I rush right over. It's sad because
even though your mom and he had problems, there was a sense of
normalcy there. One day, he'll look at the clock and think to himself,
"She'll be home in a minute and then we'll go out to dinner" and it
will hit him. OR, he'll be in a grocery store and he'll out of habit
throw in her favorite food and it will hit him. I tell you now, when
it does, it's a part of the grieving and there's not much I can do but
be there. It's accepting and it's the hardest part of grieving because
that's the day they realize that person's not coming back."

"Wow."

"Yeah, you're going to handle it in your own way and so will your
brother. What's sad is I think you're going to handle it good. Your
brother, when it hits him, he's going to really really take it hard."

"Why do you say that."

"Here's why, you brother, if your mom had let him go into the
distributorship, would have realized what she did for a living is hard
and it's stressful. I think he thinks she just went in and bossed
people around. You seem to be paying attention in school and you can
cross correlate that what might work for you in a hotel could work at
a distributorship, or at a funeral home. I think he's not applied that
same logic and when he gets in there and sees it's actually work,
he'll be telling himself, "Oh my God, I misjudged her." and it will
hit him hard."

"Yeah, I never thought of that. I think that's why she rode him so
hard. Do you think if she had made it retirement and given it to Gregg
that she would have been nicer to Dad and me?"

"I don't know. That's hard to say. Personally, I don't know the
situation enough to know what her stressors were working there. Your
dad's probably going to do excellent because he has a lot of ideas
he's willing to try. Things like cross advertising work real well."

"Yeah, I never thought of that. In a way, I could see us cross cross
advertising."

"Really! Tell me how."

"Well, the hotels going to have Banquets as parties. One thing I want
to do is have a Graduation party each year that makes it so kids don't
go out and drive drunk. I could see an add that says, "Stay here or
here. It's your choice" showing the hotel and your funeral home."

"That's a good idea. I'll cross promote for Graduation and for New
Years. During the Summer, I'm going to do some advertising in churches
on fans like they used to do in the olden days. I've also thought
about yard sticks and fly swatters. Things people use every day."

"Well, for more modern day uses, I'd suggest ink pens, cigarette
lighters, and car key fobs."

"I'll support everything but cigarette lighters."

"No, you could do it and get your message across."

"How?"

"Have lighters that have the grim reaper on them offering to light
their cigarette saying, "Go ahead, put another nail in your coffin"
and on the back have the name of your funeral home."

"That's kind of cute, but that'd be like be putting the name of my
funeral home on a beer can cooler and saying, "Go ahead, have another
for the road. Sick, but it'd get the message."

"Man, I never thought of that."

"One thing I'm going to do in the future is expand over in Quincy. It
won't be a funeral home, but a morgue."

"What!"

"Yeah, you may not realize it, but I've got a morgue which holds
twelve bodies at the funeral home. Since 9/11, they've had federal
guidelines that a morgue has to have special guidelines. What I didn't
know was when I built the funeral home, how things would be."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a lot of funeral homes don't have federal guideline morgues and
they got shut off the federal contracts. It's not hard to pass the
test and it's not hard to meet the guidelines, then all I had to do is
fill out the paperwork and send it in."

"O.k., so what did that do?"

"As I said, since 9/11, the guidelines changed and then we've had
disasters right and left and then the war. So, what you don't know is
my morgue is constantly full."

"Huh? I thought you said you only had fifty eight funerals last year?"

"I did, but when Katrina hit, there were bodies. And for them, I took
in bodies. Then, There've been other disasters. Since anything which
is federal requires FEMA money, I get the bodies and I house them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so you want those contracts?"

"Hon, it's twenty five hundred dollars for each body. I might store
one up to a month, but they rotate real regular."

"Wow, I didn't know that."

"Well, it's not well known. So, what I want to do is build a morgue up
in Quincy that's closer to the airport and then get a truck which will
handle the containers."

"So, you'd be a warehouse for bodies?"

"That's a morgue hon."

"Yuck."

I chuckled and said, "Tell me yuck when you're dealing with the live
ones. There's nothing wrong with it."

"So, how do you make the money?"

"As I said, they come in on a cargo plane. Me, I take the flower van
over because it's refrigerated and I pick up sometimes three at a
time. Then, I drive them over, and take them in. For each body I make
a thousand to drive it to my home, five hundred for the storage, and
then a thousand to take it back to the airport when the month's over.
If they want me to bury it, then I do a closed service and get paid
for that."

"So, they're closed containers?"

"Yeah, it's an aluminum casket that's just a rectangle box. I'm sure
you've seen them before and not known what they were.."

"So you never see the body?"

"Sometimes, no. other times when I bury it, I do, but it's basically paperwork."

"Wow, that's quite a bit for what little you do."

"Yeah, but the government pays private morgues to do it. Otherwise,
they'd have to have all sorts of federally paid people to do it and
once on a government's payroll, they don't get off. This way, we have
to meet the guidelines."

"So you're telling me the morgues just a big refrigerator?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, would you need someone to work for you if you did that?"

"Yeah, why, you got someone in mind?"

"Yeah, he worked at Chili's and he's going to school, but his grades
started sliding and..."

"O.k., so you're telling me the guy's going to drop out of college?"

"He might, but what I think is if he works for you, the pay would be
decent and then he could have the time to study?"

"Do you think he'd study?"

"Yeah, he seems to be sincere about it, but I'm not sure how he'll
handle the dead bodies if he sees one."

"Well, to be honest, I wasn't prepared my first time either. Mine was
in anatomy class and I had to pay six hundred dollars for the
privilege. There was me and a girl who shared the body. She just plain
refused to touch it. She took the class to see a guy and then, he
backed out at the last minute. What ended up happening was I had to do
it and ended up having to pull both of our grades."

"How'd you get over it?"

"Well, what I did was I took  a few deep breaths and then went into
the room and pulled the body out of the morgue. They had them on
surgical gurneys, so I had to be careful to fold out the carriage a
few of the guys ended up having their's spill and by then, they had
the thing cut open and all the innards spilled out. It was a mess."

"So, what did you do?"

"Well, what helped me was I had a talk with the body. I realized she
at one time was a live person, so I made up a whole great big long
life story for her and talked to her about her day and as I did it, I
cut her open and did the autopsy."

"Man, that had to be something!"

"Yeah, With ours, just remember they used to be alive and if you're
ever in the embalming room and happen to be in there with a body, one
thing you'll have to remember is I'll have them covered with a sheet
at all times. Some people don't but I figure laundry is cheaper than
someone's being scared to death."

"Isn't it scary?"

"Not for me anymore. The only time I was scared was when I was getting
ready to embalm once and a friend of mine played a trick and put the
body I was working on away and laid down on the table himself. In that
funeral home, there weren't any phones in the embalming room, so I had
to leave to answer the phone. He'd put Heather up to calling me and
asking all sorts of stupid questions. I didn't get it at the time, but
when I went back in the room, and was preparing the embalming fluid, I
heard a moaning and at first, I didn't want to turn around. Then, I
thought to myself, "Fool, if you don't turn around, you'll not see who
it is and you can't defend yourself." SO, I turned around and saw the
sheet moving and said, "If you're alive, then moan. It moaned and I
ran out of there and called 9-1-1. It wasn't funny after that, because
the police, ambulance and first responders were all dispatched. They
were having a funeral upstairs and the fire department guys ran into
the middle of the funeral. The ambulance guys knew where the embalming
room was located, so they got there. The owner of the home was
pissed!"

By this time, Ty was laughing his ass off. "I bet you were scared."

"No, I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. My martial arts
knowing ass was scared."

He was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes, and said, "I know
it's not funny, but that's hilarious."

"Yeah, and when you go into my embalming room, you'll see a phone on
each wall. From now on, I don't leave it when a body's out and take
all calls in there."

"Isn't that disturbing?"

"Not really, the pumps and the machinery is computerized and is
virtually silent."

"So, how do you do it?"

"What? Embalm?"

"Yeah."

"Ty, right now, I can't answer that. Your mom's in my funeral home and
I think it'd not be right. After a while, I'll either tell you or I'll
show you. It's not hard and it's not as bad as you think?"

"O.k., is it gory?"

"No, autopsies are gory as you have someone's brains in your hands. I
imagine your dad's job is messier than what I deal with."

"Oh, I've went on calls with him where sewage pipes were clogged and
it was a mess."

"How'd you get over that?"

"Well, to be honest, I didn't. I left the house and my dad used a
Shopvac to suck everything out and then after it was all out, I went
in."

"O.k., so did your dad give you any pointers of how to deal with it?"

"No, he told me to find another line of work." He giggled.

"I understand. What's your friend's name?"

"It's me."

At first I was shocked. And, then after sensing his embarrassment, I
said, "Ok, I'm going to ask some questions which I'd like you to
answer. I'm not grilling you, but I need to understand some things."

"O.k.."

"You get an allowance from your parents, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then, why are you working?"

"To be honest, I don't know. Part of me did it to stay away from the house."

"Ok, so now that your mom's gone, why don't you quit your job and
focus upon your studies."

"Well, I'm seriously thinking about that since it'd give me more days
I could spend with you. But, I'd like to have a job where we're close
to each other so I can be with you."

"O.k., that's an honest answer, so I'm going to say a few things.
First of all, the job in Quincy at the morgue wouldn't be getting
closer to me at all. In fact, I'm planning on being up there two times
a week and letting that person do their job. If you want a job so
we're close together, I'll hire you, but Ty, you've got to bring your
grades up."

"Ok, would you spend time with me if you hire me?"

"Babe, you'd be my assistant. I've been meaning to hire one, but it's
not been a high priority. However, I'll tell you now what the job
entails."

"O.k.."

"Well, let me ask how many hours a week you need to work and how many
hours a week do you need to study?"

"It varies, but there's parts of it I'll never use."

"Ok, tell me one."

"Accounting."

"And why don't you think you won't use it."

"They're hiring accountants."

"And, what makes  you think the accountants won't steal from the hotel?"

"What!"

"I mean exactly that. Your job as manager of a hotel is going to be
assured everyone's not stealing as well as overseeing your staff. If
you're trusting your staff to report to you thefts of items, then what
happens if they don't and they're stealing televisions out of rooms
and you're not seeing it on an accounting sheet?"

"Huh?"

"If you give people room to steal, they'll do it. I'm sure at Chili's,
there's employee theft all the time."

"Yeah."

"And, the manager doesn't catch it?"

"No, they don't mind us taking some food."

"And the tables and chairs and things off the walls?"

"No one takes that stuff."

"Or, is it a shift manager that takes it and doesn't report it to the
manager and then gets it replaced on the next order?"

"No, the manager would catch it."

"O.k., so if the manager was stealing, then would the owner know?"

"I doubt it."

"So, he's blindly trusting the manager."

"Yeah."

"A damned fool."

"No, not everyone steals everything Lance!"

"Ty, I'll tell you a true story. When I first opened, I had mints out
by where everyone signs in. It's a courtesy thing. Then, a little old
lady came in and started dumping the dish into her purse. On her way
out the door, she'd go into the bathroom, raid the toilet paper and
then take the Soft Soap dispenser on her way out the door. The first
time it happened, I was thinking, "Fucking kids!", then three days
later, it happened again, so I checked the sign in sheets and didn't
see any of the same people's names. So, what I did was I made it point
of standing and greeting people at the door. Sure enough, she came in
and walked right over and poured the dish into her purse and then
walked straight to the bathroom. After she left, I went in and the
soap was gone."

"Did you have her arrested?"

"For stealing less than five dollars worth of items? No! The police
would have laughed my ass out of town."

"What'd you do."

"I went to the candy store and I got Chocolate covered Garlic. Then, I
watched and right before she came in, I switched the dishes. She
poured it in and then went to the bathroom where she didn't find any
soap or extra rolls of toilet paper. She left and that's the last time
I've seen her."

He laughed and said, "Man, that's wicked."

"No, that's called fighting fire with fire. She knew she'd been caught
and she knew I'd not keep tolerating her doing it. It served as a
subtle notice."

"O.k., so what's the job as your assistant entail?"

"Well, here's what it will include. On nights we have ....hold up a
minute, we're at my house. We'll finish when we get inside."

"Awesome house, it's beautiful. Did you have it built?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's nothing like the others in the neighborhood. It looks old, but I
can tell it's new."

"It is. Well, it's a little less than a year old."

"Cool."

We went inside and I gave him the three dollar tour. After the tour,
we went to the kitchen and I got him a Coke. I brewed a pot of
Hazelnut Roast and then asked him when the last time he'd eaten. He
said it was yesterday at lunch, so I asked him if he wanted an
omelette. He did, so I told him to get into the fridge and get the
eggs, milk and the tupperware container of the tomatoes, onions, ham,
and grated cheese. Then, I  got the hash browns out of the freezer and
some chicken fried steaks I had left over. I got into the cupboard and
got out the Alfredo sauce.

He looked at me and said, "You hungry?"

"Breakfast is my big meal."

"From the size of that bowl in there, I'd say you were hungry for pasta salad."

"Oh, well that was a surprise."

"People surprise you with food!"

"NO! Your Aunt Joan invited me for lunch today So, I made it to carry in."

"Really!"

"Yeah, she invited me as she said she wanted me to meet the whole
family and then, she made her solarium available so we could sit in
there enjoying the view and get to know one another."

He had tears in his eyes and said, "That sounded romantic. I wish it
had been that way."

"No, this is great. I like this as it is because we're learning what
the other really likes hands on."

He smiled and said, "Well, I've learned you eat huge breakfasts! For
me, breakfast is a pop tart and that's it. I eat a huge lunch."

"And I wondered why your grades were low. You're starting your day
with junk and waiting until lunch to feed your brain. I bet your
grades in your afternoon classes are better."

"You're right!"

"Well, with me, I eat a big breakfast and then keep a small
refrigerator in my office and throw together a salad....with creamy
ranch, or Poppyseed dressing."

He laughed and said, "Someone probably stole the creamy Italian!"

We hugged and he smelled me and then kissed my neck. "I've wanted to
do that since I met you."

I smiled at him and then hugged him again. "Since I've met you, I
wanted to do this." I pulled back and kissed him.

He smiled and said, "Me too, but I was shy."

"Don't be with me. There's going to be love between us and I'll tell
you now, when we're here, this is a safe zone from the outside world
where we can't do it."

"Ok,"

"What you want on your omelette?"

"Load it down, you've got everything I like."

"Well, there's mushrooms up there too if you like them."

"Love them, but the ham will be good enough."

"Ok, now that I know you like Omelettes, I'll make a variety of them
and put sausage, or mushrooms, or  salsa on some."

"You cook like that for me, I'll stay around forever."

"Promise?"

"Well, yeah!"

He leaned over and kissed me and I said, "Ok, then we've got a deal.
So, now that I know what it's going to take to get your grades up,
I'll tell you now we're going to study together. I want them perfect
and I'll do what it takes to see I've not only got the most gorgeous
guy in that college, but the smartest."

He smiled and said, "Thanks babe."

"Nothing to thank me for."

"Yeah there is...lots."

"It should be me thanking you."

"Not hardly."

"Well, then let's both consider ourselves lucky because I feel like it."

"Me too, so what about the job?"

"Oh that!" I said turning to him and smiling. "Basically, it's a gofer
job. When we need more tissues, or chairs, or if flowers are
delivered, then that will be your job. If you want, you can go with me
in the mornings and we can fetch bodies from the hospitals."

"What does that include?"

"Well, first of all, we'll get a phone call from the hospital. What I
have at the funeral home is a map in the office that I put a pin in,
and then write it on the white board beside it. It's real hi-tech."

"So, when you get to the hospital, what do you have to do?"

"Well, we go in the back door and there's a desk. We check in and show
our credentials. Then we're led to their morgue and then, we transfer
the body from their gurney to ours. We strap it on, and then take it
out to the Escalade. Once it's fastened in, we go to the funeral home
and place it in our morgue which is separate from the federal morgue.
Then, if there's another pick up, we go get it. If not, then what I do
is I go ahead and process the body, prep it and then embalm it Usually
the paperwork from the hospital will tell me if there's no embalming
requested under religious affiliations."

"Some people don't want embalming? Is that legal?"

"In our state, we have a high concentration of Amish and Mennonite.
They don't like embalming. So, we can do it legally. But, what that
requires is we have the funeral service within a day. The good thing
there is they don't want any additional prepping of the body, so no
washing is required and the hair style is done in a plain bun. The
clothing is usually really plain and they want the plainest casket
available. So, once I have it done, I wait for them to come since they
don't have phones....well, the Amish don't, but come to think of it, I
don't get Mennonites calling either. They come and they take the body
with them."

"What?"

"Yeah, they have the funeral at their village, but the state does
require them to have a lockable casket now which they didn't use to
have. The state also requires a vault for all bodies unless cremated."

"O.k., so if I worked for you, we'd do all that?"

"If you worked for me, I'd have you doing everything I do except
embalming. I'd want you to know the whole business so you'd see what I
did for a living. I wouldn't expect you to do it all, but I do want
you to know what it's like. It's not hard and it's a good living."

"That's what I was going to talk with you about at a later date, but
do you think you'd mind if I switched my major so we could work
together?"

"What about the hotel?"

"Lance, my heart's not in it. I know Dad's not going to mind, but I'm
worried about disappointing Aunt Joan and Uncle Mark."

"They're smart and I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like they
can't hire someone else. If you like the funeral business, I'll hire
you, yes. But, I'll also pay for your schooling as it's a business
write off and when the time comes, I'll make you a partner in the
home."

He smiled and said, "You'd not mind?"

"Mind? Hon, you wanting to be with me is a blessing. Us being able to
work together is a Godsend. So, if that worries you, then don't be
worried. We'll talk to everyone and let them know. But, promise me
you'll finish this semester no matter what."

He nodded and said, "You'll study with me?"

"Yeah, I'll do everything with you and might even pay to audit the
labs if you want. That way we can be partners. It's not hard and once
you get over things, you'll see it's quite nice."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think you'll like it. And, I'll be patient and explain
everything to you."

When breakfast was finished cooking, I told him, "Nuke that Alfredo
sauce and while you do that, I'll wash up the griddle."

He did and we sat down to eat together. He stopped me and said, "Babe,
thank you." He leaned over and kissed me and then said, "I forgot
clothes, but I'd like to take a shower."

"O.k., I've got casuals, What sizes do you wear?"

"In what? Pants, I wear 32/34,  shirts, large since I'm broad in the
shoulders, and shoes, 10 ½."

"Well, my pants will be too large as I'm a 34/34, but the shirts will
fit and shoes, well, these clodhoppers are a size 12 ½."

"Man!" He smiled."Do you have belts? I think the pants can fit."

"We'll check, I do have belts. By the way, I've got an appointment
tomorrow to get a suit cut, so you can ride up and be fitted too.
While we're at it, I'll have your dad and Gregg go and that way you
all match."

"That will be nice, I don't think any of us owns suits. Dad has
jackets, but they're so outdated, he looks like that football
announcer on tv."

"Oh, well, your dad's in the business world now, so he'll have to know
where the best suits are made in the area."

"My dad's not going to take to suits too well. He's broad and short,
so he thinks they make him look like Danny Devito."

"Nah, you're dad's built nice. Yeah, he could stand to lose a few
pounds, but I think if we talked him into going to the Y with us, he'd
find out it'd be fun and healthy for him as well as keeping him from
being lonely at the house."

"Well, get your dibs in first because once he gets to working out
there, the guys there will have him going out to eat and getting fat."

"No, your dad's a leader. I think he'll be amazing some people out
there because I think they're expecting your mom's style. I think he's
going to be a lot less on the iron fist and more on gentle nudges.
But, I bet when it comes to cutting through the bull, your dad's going
to call them out real fast."

"Well, everyone's used to working for mom, so they'll do their jobs,
but his new ideas will probably be shot down by them."

"I doubt that. I bet he tells them real fast he expects their jobs to
be done, but at the same time, he's not going to be over ruled. Just
wait and see."

He finished eating and said, "That was delicious. You really should
have a restaurant."

"No, I'd lose my ass because I'd be out eating at other restaurants I
enjoy better."

"Where do you like to eat?"

"Which town?"

"I forgot, you travel all over for your job."

"Yeah, in Quincy, Sprout's Inn and Friday's. Tuesday's has a nice
salad bar. Hannibal, Logue's. Perry, Perry Junction, but their salads
about kill me as I'm allergic to MSG."

"Really!"

"Yeah, sometimes if I stop at a McDonald's I'll get a Big Mac and the
lettuce on it has it and it's not so bad. Instead of feeling like I'm
being strangled to death, and having a really strong taste of beer in
my mouth, I have a taste of chocolate in my mouth."

"Wow, and the salads at the Junction do that?"

"Yeah, but outside of Perry is a restaurant called Rustic Oak which is
awesome. It's like Bass Pro Shop meets a restaurant. Lot's of
taxidermy animals and lots of rustic canoes hanging from the ceiling
or walls."

"Wow, never been there."

"Well, how about tomorrow night, we go there as a family. Let me call
Heather and see if she's available."

"Don't do that, they're probably asleep."

"Ok."

About then, the phone rang and I said, "That's probably her."

"Nah"

I went to the phone and saw the caller I.D., it was Joan. "It's Joan."

"O.k., I need to speak with her."

"Hello?"

"Hi Lance, How's it going?"

"Things are going well. How are you fairing?"

"It's been easier, last night was rough."

"I understand, we were wanting to speak with you, but didn't want to
call and disturb you."

"You should've, there wasn't any sleep being done here."

"I understand. Ty and I are here and neither of us have gotten sleep."

"Yeah, I spoke with Mitch and he said he got some and thought Gregg
was sleeping with his girlfriend."

"Yeah, they were getting ready when we left."

"So, how's things with Gregg?"

"Things started being rough, but we came to an understanding. I think
he's ready to change his life and I know Heather will be sure he
does."

"Heather. Are you referring to Heather your friend, and my nurse assistant?"

"Yeah, I introduced them and they hit it off."

"Oh Lord, he's all wrong for her."

"No, I think you'll be amazed at how he's changed."

"Lance, I beg to differ, but there's not enough changing that boy could do."

"Well, let's just say he got a wake up call last night and now knows
he's expected to change and there won't be anymore non-sense."

"It'd have to take a severe amount of brute force for that to happen,
that boy's the most unruly boy I've ever met."

"Well, let's just say it didn't take that much force, but I did apply pressure."

"What!"

"Yeah. But, let's not get into that, you'll be amazed."

"I already am. I expected there to be a lot of problems. I thought
Mitch was being polite and not mentioning any of the problems."

"No, he and I had a talk and things go a little tense, but then he
realized in order not to pass out from my hand being around his
throat, he had to agree."

She laughed and said, "Well, that would do it!"

"Yeah, underneath all that anger and hatred is a sweet guy."

"I had no idea. He used to be when he was little, but I would have
sworn his mother was too much of an influence on him."

"Well, she did her damage, that's for sure."

"Yeah, and as much as I hate to say it, Mitch and the kids will be better off."

"Yeah, Ty's here, would you like to speak with him?"

"In a moment, I need to ask you some things first."

"Ok, go ahead."

"Is there anything I can do to help with the funeral preparations?"

"Well, we've got to go pick out some items at the funeral home, but
other than that, most of everything except the obituary is completed.
Well, if you do happen to have photos of her, it'd be welcomed."

"I'll get out my photo albums. Most of them were taken with the view
behind them, so that's probably not suitable."

"No, we'll use them. Omitting them will make it seem like she didn't
appreciate it. What happened was a moment which wasn't always like it
was, so we'll use it."

"Brilliant thinking, I'll get you what I've got."

"Well, it will help as I'd like to get copies so both Gregg and Ty
have discs with their mom and them together, They might not fully
appreciate it now, but in the future when the pain diminishes, they
will."

"You're doing miracles with them, you know that."

"No, it's a miracle Ty's in my life."

"I understand, I feel that way myself quite often about Mark."

"Then you understand how fortunate I feel."

"Yes, I do. Now to the next item on the agenda. Lunch today is still
on. It's not going to be a happy occasion, but we'll do what we can."

"Good, Ty saw the pasta salad I made and thought I was a big eater."

She gave a huge laugh and said, "I bet. Now, I'm going to ask you
another question and I'd like to have an answer if you can give it. If
you can't because you think it might not be good, then just say "Not
at this time" and I'll understand."

"OK."

"Mark and I have felt for quite some time Ty was getting the short end
of the stick between those two boys. Their mother didn't help that
any, but as hard as it was we loved her because Mitch loved her. Do
you think Ty really wants to manage the hotel, or do you think he was
doing it because there wasn't anything else affording itself?"

"Ummm, that did come up in the conversation and he's a bit afraid of
disappointing everyone. But, he's wanting to speak with you sometime
on that subject."

"Ok, good, I'm glad this is coming out into the open. I'm not the
least bit upset. We care for him and we wanted things the best for
him. Mitch has said he's treating the boys equally and I believe him.
Mitch will still be in the partnership and that's not going to change,
but we didn't want him doing what he didn't feel compelled to really
doing. Does he have a thought of what he'd like to do? I mean Mark and
I will do everything we can."

"Yes, coming into the funeral home."

"Oh....are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Things are going splendidly for us and I think it's
perfect. In fact, I think the match between Gregg and Heather is
perfect too. You should see the way he looks at her."

"It's not like a lion at a fresh kill is it?"

"No, more like a love sick pup."

"Wow, I would have never thought it. He's a good looking boy, but even
the devil himself seduced Eve."

"Yes, and just wait because they'll be there today. Now, if you really
want my opinion, I'll tell you now the one I'm most worried about is
Mitch. He's in the false 'up' mode right now and I think he's doing it
for the boys, when this settles, it's going to hit him hard."

"I believe it too. They really did love each other once and things
changed. I can't put a finger on it, but it was about the time her
parents died."

"Yes, and somehow, pride got involved there of which I'm not real sure
why, and she let it control her and anger entered like a dam opening."

"You described it perfectly, your grief counsellings is very perceptive."

"Yes, and they seem to be opening up and accepting it."

"Good."

"Is there some moments you can spare today so we can all get the
obituary written and things chosen?"

"Sure, we'll do that at the house. Then, we can go to the funeral
home, I've got a call in to her beautician at Penny's and she's
supposed to call me back. Is everything prepared there?"

"Yes, she's waiting and then we'll have everything prepared except for
flowers and the funeral cards."

"Good, I want things to be prepared before Mitch cracks."

"They will be. Well, here's Ty, and I'd like to say Thank you from the
bottom of my heart for everything. It seems like pieces of a puzzle
have fallen into place between us."

"Hon, you're sweet and he's adorable and I think you're a perfect match."

"I do too. Well, good bye."

"Bye hon"

I handed the phone to Ty and then went into the kitchen to wash  the
plates. When they were done, I went upstairs to lay out my gray suit.
It's being lighter than I needed it to be wasn't an asset at the
funeral home, but in social settings, it was perfect. I didn't lay out
any clothes for him as I wanted him to know my closet was open to him
as was anything in my life.

When all this was done, I went back downstairs and made motions of
telling him I was going into the living room. I went in there and then
got on my laptop. I answered emails and began writing up the obituary.
Where questions were, I wrote them out in another text file. I wanted
to be as prepared as possible because I knew the scanning of the
photos would be a long process. My Dell had dual processors, but still
nothing was as slow as that scanner.

Ty came in and tears were coursing down his face. He plopped down on
the sofa and hugged me from the side. "Thank you."

"What'd I do."

"She's so happy for us it's beautiful and she was completely satisfied
with me not going into the hotel management. She says from what you
told her she thinks we're doing great together."

"Well babe, we are.''

"Yeah, and I just want to thank you. She says she can't imagine the
changes we've all done as you gave flattering descriptions of how he's
changed. It's hard to say it, but her not believing is going to be
typical of our whole family as he was that big of a jerk."

"Well, he's not now, but lets give him the chance."

"If he screws it up, the twelve steps to the basement of your funeral
home won't be touched because I'll throw him down them myself."

"Hon, don't think negatively. There's going to come a moment when
he'll screw up and we've just got to love him and guide him back onto
firm ground. Don't be ready to pounce, o.k.?"

"You don't know how good it is to hear you even correct me about him
and pull me back onto firmer ground. I'll give him the chance because
I know how you'll guide him and he'll respond. Thanks."

"No problem babe."

The phone rang again and when I looked at the caller ID, I saw it was
Ty's house.

"Hello?"

"Hi Lance, this is Mitch, I don't know if Joanie's called you yet, but
everyone's meeting at their house for lunch."

"Yes, we just got off the phone with her."

"Good, how are you two doing?"

"We're doing great. We had breakfast and if I'd known you were up,
we'd had you over."

"Oh, that's o.k., I'll eat better at lunch. So, what's on the
itinerary for today?"

"Well, what we're going to do is we're going to have lunch and then
we've got to pick out flowers for the casket and we're going to pick
out funeral cards."

"Ok, so what else is needed?"

"Scanning the photos and finishing the obituary and we're about all
set. One thing I do want you and Gregg to do is tomorrow, I've got an
appointment with my tailor and I'd like to get you all matching suits.
You'll need the tailor as you'll need suits for business too."

"Lance, I hate to tell you, but suits don't look good on me."

"That's because you've not had a good tailor. We're going to change
that. The one I have is the best I've ever met and believe me, I've
had suits cut in a number of places and this guy is tops."

"Your business requires suits, for mine, I can get by with polo shirts
and slacks."

"Mitch, can I interrupt you there. "

"Sure."

"You want to know what that picture gives to your customers and the public?"

"Ok, what?"

"Mafia."

"What!"

"Yeah, it gives the impression because it says, "I'm in a situation
where I need a suit and I can get by without it because the pistol in
my jacket over there lets it happen. How many times have you went into
a social dinner and seen someone dressed like that when you knew you
were to wear a jacket?"

"You're right."

"O.k., so, change the course of things and let your staff wear the
polos and slacks and you take over in a suit. A suit says power and it
says control. You might rule with a gentle nudge, but believe me
they'll hop to it because you're the one who's obviously the boss."

"Ok, so this guy will make me look like I'm taller and thinner?"

"He'll cut the suit to give the appearance of height, but as far as
the other, Ty and I are going to be working out at the Y and we'd like
you to schedule times with us so we can work out as a group."

"I'll do that. I've been thinking about doing that and the thing which
has stopped me is no one else to do it with. If I can do it with you
guys, then it'll be great and it'll keep my mind off the fact I'm
actually working out."

"Yes, that and here's the clincher. When I work out, I get sweaty and
rather than going in and taking a shower immediately, I go in and sit
in the whirlpool and then do some reps between the pool and the sauna.
By the time those are done, the stiffness and soreness you'd normally
associate with working out will be gone. Then, a nice hot shower and
you're good to go."

"When do you want these scheduled?"

"Well, Ty and you are needing to talk about his schooling. He's spoken
to Joan about it already, but he's a bit worried about what you'll
think. What I've learned is some of his classes aren't doing so good.
I'm stepping in and he and I are going to salvage them by studying
together. But, the other part we need to discuss."

"Let me guess, he's not wanting to go into hotel management."

"No."

"O.k., I'll support that, does he have an alternative picked yet?"

"Yeah, he's thinking about coming in with me into the funeral home."

"O.k., I'm not going to make any judgments there because I know you
make a damned hard job look easy. But do you think he'll be able to do
it?"

"To be honest, if he was wanting to do it alone, I'd tell him it
sucks. But, doing it with us together, it's going to be great."

"Well, make sure it's what he really wants to do first and then, I'll
back him on it financially."

"No, that's not what we're asking. Financially, I'll back him as I can
write it off. All we're asking is for your blessing."

"That's the easy part. I know when you're doing tough things with
someone you love, it makes the hardest job easier. I tried to get
Wendy to see that, but her hard headed-ness put me off."

"Yeah, and the good thing is if he goes to school for it, I'll be able
to study with him and help him more. I'm excited about it because to
be honest, we get along that good."

"I know what you mean. You boys just look good together. It's a
perfect match. I can't be happier for him and you don't know how many
good things I've heard about you. Joanie's head over heels for you And
Mark, when I spoke with him, he filled me in on the number of people
who all swear by you and I can't tell you how proud I am of you when I
hear that."

"Thanks."

"You deserve it. I'm envious. You've been in the business community
for what? A little over a year or so? And, it's like you came in
riding the white stallion son. People set in their ways are just blown
away by you."

"Well, it's been a labor of love. What's made it so easy is I've had
really bad competition."

"Well, I'd like to think it's going to be easy like that for me, but I
know it's going to be rough."

"Well, we'll be here for you. What I think will be good is you've got
the love of your boys and I and you've got us pulling for you in your
corner. That combined with taking the time to do things for yourself
like working out and building up yourself, is another part of it. One
other thing I'm going to ask that I've not spoken about with Ty is
making a night where it's family and us either eating at each other's
house, or going out and doing something together. From what I'm
understanding, Joan has Sunday's at her place, right?"

"Yeah, she's had it for years and you should know you're a part of that now."

"Good, that's going to be another great source of familial support for
us all and it'll strengthen our bonds."

"Speaking of that, I didn't get a chance to tell you, but how you
handled things with Gregg was exactly what he needed. If you'd went
soft, it wouldn't have did anyone any good. You weren't overly harsh
and I think if you had, I'd probably stepped in, but you did it with
the perfect touch and that boy realized you did it with love. It's
amazing how he hit the kill switch on that attitude of his and we all
saw a side of him we'd not seen in a long time."

"Yeah, and that's another thing I need to bring up with you that I
just spoke with Ty about. There's going to be a time when he screws
up. You know it and I know it. When it happens, the key to things is
calm correction and just reassuring him we're there for him and know
he can do better. If need be, as I said, I'll step in or Heather will
and take the obstacles out of his way. I think with enough support
built into the structure we've got, the bonds will be enough to keep
it going forward."

"I agree completely. Now, I'm going to say something else and please
don't take offense at first, but when I first saw Heather, I was like,
"Oh my God" and I'll tell you now, I expected Gregg to go into the
mode which had me convinced there was no hope for him. Then, that look
came across his face I know so well and saw it was love at first
sight. The perfection that girl has shown me in the few hours I've
known her is amazing. After you two left, I couldn't sleep and I got
back up. She must have heard me moving around and she got up and came
back in and just sat with me at the table with her hand upon mine.
I'll tell you now, if I was twenty years younger, I'd give my son a
run for his money."

"She's a keeper that's for sure. What's underneath is pure tiger and
Gregg needs to know that. What is going to be amazing is she'll do it
in ways that will show him what she can do, but not do it to instill
fear. When she does some of the things she does, watch her and then
see how fast she gets back her bearings. It's scary"

"That's what he needs. But, what I'm happiest for is the timing of you
and she coming into our family. It's like a void happened which was
pure negativity and you two came in with positive energy. The only way
I can say it is to imagine going through the worst hurricane you've
ever been through and within moments of it's being gone, the sunshine
coming out and giving warmth and comfort. The feeling I have is so
hopeful for my family now, I just can't express it."

"I understand. It was lonely here for me and  I hate to say it, but
I'm a very visual person. It's to the point I get superficial with it.
And, when I first met Ty, I was lost to his good looks. But, when he
called Friday, it was like seeing the coin having two sides and both
being wonderful. Knowing that, when I met Gregg, I saw his looks and
knew she'd fall for him as she was gaga over Ty, but I also knew his
attitude would piss her off. I think even though her outfit was way
over the top, it was perfect for him because it showed she's all woman
and yet, it told him she could be a bitch. Then, when she started
opening her mouth in our conversation, I think you guys expected her
to be that person which if you must know is just super sweet."

"Oh, I know. When she sat in here with me, she told me you two's life
stories together and I'll tell you that girl loves you. You might not
be related, but she's your sister in all ways. Now, hearing you speak
so highly of her, it's got me so proud of my boy's choices because as
a parent, I would love to hear mine speak of each other as you two
do."

"You will. It's going to take time, but you will."

"I hope so."

We spoke for a few more moments and then Mitch said, "Gregg and
Heather just walked in. I'll get off the phone and see you guys
later."

"Ok, tell them we love them and we love you too."

"Back at 'cha."

"From My Keyboard To Your Heart",
Retta

RettaMichaels@Gmail.com
Copyright Notice - Copyright (c) 2008 by RettaMichaels
The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retains all
rights. This work may not be edited, changed, or duplicated in any
form, media [ known or unknown ], without the author's expressed
permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. RettaMichaels does
NOT give editorial consent in order for this to be published. If it is
deemed unpublishable in it's context, permission much be granted
before publication or changes occur.
"From My Keyboard To Your
Heart","'Retta","RettaMichaels"."Retta","Rhett", and "Rhette" are all
trademarks of RettaVonnMichaels LLC. None of these trademarks may be
used, or authorized without consent.

Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any
resemblance to real persons, locations, or incidents is purely
coincidental.


--
>From My Keyboard To Your Heart
Rhett

Here is a list of stories I've written and where to find them:

With Love - Nifty - Beginnings Section
Rural Love - DeweyWriter.com
Write Me A Love Story - DeweyWriter.com
To Love Him - DeweyWriter.com
Military Zone - Nifty - Military Section
Evan - Nifty - Beginnings Section
Jordan - Nifty - Beginnings Section

Can You Catch My Heart
     Buckets of Blessings
     Chains of Love
     Dead Air
     Prayers of Thanks

All On DeweyWriter.com or Nifty.org