Date: Tue, 1 Aug 2000 21:44:22 EDT
From: BladerIowa@aol.com
Subject: Co-worker Crush

Standard disclaimer:

This story contains graphic depictions of homosexual sex.  If you are under
18, you do not have permission to read this story.  If you are under 21 and
it is not legal for you to read this work, please exit now.  Anyone else who
would be offended by such fiction needs to read no further.  Everyone else
needs to get the paper towels ready.


Co-Worker Crush

by

BladerIowa@aol.com


Ryan Thomas.  I could hear the name over and over again.  It resonated
through my brain from the first time I heard it until now.  I could hear him
say it as his perfect lips moved.  His eyes sparkled as his lips slowly
formed each seductive syllable.  Call it what you will, I was in love.

I met Ryan about six months ago.  He came to interview with our company as a
recent (maybe I should say fresh) college graduate.  Because of his high
grades and excellent references, we hired him on the spot for a technical
position.  When I heard Ryan accepted the position, I was delighted.

This young man had the kind of drop dead good looks that can totally disrupt
a person's day.  When I first met him, he was dressed in a suit for his
interview.  Standing about six feet tall, Ryan had a lean, firm build.  His
medium brown hair was neatly parted in the middle, not too long and not too
short.  His nose was perfectly shaped.  Ryan's lips were full but not too
full, almost slightly pouty.  His cheekbones looked chisled, his skin without
blemish.  Ryan's eyes were a crystal clear blue, in contrast to his tanned
face and slightly rosey cheeks.

I nearly ran into him in the hallway on his first day.  Our eyes met.  It was
haunting.  I knew from that minute forward I'd never be the same.  There was
such an intense attraction it tore my heart to shreds.

I became obsessed with Ryan.  I watched him as he walked down the aisle.  I
would become aroused listening to him tinkle in the men's room.  I tried to
learn everything I could about him as discreetly as possible.  Ryan had a
picture of a girl on his desk, presumably a girlfriend.  He liked fishing;
there were pictures of him fishing pinned up in his cube.  I knew from the
toy basketball hoop he had attached to the file cabinet that he enjoyed
basketball.  Ryan was a very neat person; his desk was always clean and
orderly.  As I passed by his cubicle, I could occasionally smell the cologne
he was wearing and it drove me to an instant erection.

Ryan Thomas.  Actually, it was Ryan Jacob Thomas.  He had left a piece of
mail sitting on his desk one time when I walked by and that was who it was
addressed to.  Like a schoolboy, deep in my first crush, I would walk along
thinking of "Ryan Jacob Thomas.  Ryan Jacob Thomas." whenever I would see
him.  I loved his name as much as I loved the rest of him.  It had such a
beautiful sound to it.  I loved every part of him.  His name, his face, his
ass, his hands, the way he talked and the way he treated people.

Ryan and I worked fairly closely together at times.  Now and then he would
stop by my desk and ask for help with a technical problem.  By then I learned
that he did have a girlfriend.  He often spoke about their rocky relationship
and as time went by, it became more and more stormy.

Our increasingly frequent conversations became nearly unbearable for me.  We
never spoke of my attraction to men.  For all I know, he didn't even know.
As I became a shoulder for him to cry on, Ryan came around more and more.
The more he wanted to talk, the worse I felt.

A million things went through my mind every time he stopped by to chat.  In
addition to the  "Ryan Jacob Thomas" name repeating in my brain, I found
myself staring at his lips, eyes, and perfect teeth.  I couldn't help it.  A
slave to my yearning flesh, my dick would harden, my heart would soften, and
I would melt in front of this god.  I wanted so desperately to kiss him, to
hold him, to have him make love to me.  I needed so badly to love somebody
and he was the perfect man for me, despite the realization that the very
thought of one man loving another would be repugnant to him.

"Hey, man, what's up tonight?" Ryan asked, startling me.  "It's 6:00."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied.  "I didn't realize it's getting that late.  Say
why are dressed like that?"

"Oh, me my buds are going to the rec center to play some basketball.  I'm
kind of bored.  You know, Nicki and I broke up."

"I didn't know that," I said, still looking at the papers on my desk.  "Sorry
to hear that."

Then I looked up.  Ryan was wearing a tank top and long, baggy basketball
shorts.  Kind of a royal blue silky color, they were just the thing to
accentuate his long, tanned legs.  My eyes roamed from his very large, nylon
wrapped basket and down his legs.  Then my gaze fell upon his shoes.  They
were enormous.

"Wow," I said.  "What size shoes do you wear?"

"Thirteens," he said with a sly grin.  "I have very big feet."

"No doubt," I replied "And I thought mine were big.  I wear elevens."

"People give me a lot of shit," he volunteered.

"Why?" I asked sounding innocent.

"Well," he said with a knowing smirk.  "You know the old saying, the bigger
the shoes, the bigger the....."

"I get the idea," I sighed.  "But you can't always believe what people say."

"In some cases it's true," said Ryan.

I drew in my breath.  This was more than I could take at that point.  I
turned back to my work.  There was a long, pregnant pause.  I couldn't take
any more from this man.  I wanted him.  No, actually I loved him, so much so
I had to tell him.  I needed anything he could give me.  A touch, a kiss, or
a broken jaw, anything would be better than not being able to tell him how
much I loved him and wanted to be with him.  I tensed up even further.

"What's the matter?" he asked.  "Talk to me.  Did I say something that
offened you?"

"No!" I snapped.  "Leave me the fuck alone!  I'm trying to work dammit."

"You're not working," Ryan said.  "You're running.  I can tell.  Let's go
somewhere and talk dude.  I know you too well."

By now I was on the verge of tears.  I had to tell Ryan.  All the crushes and
the thoughts of suicide I'd had over the years suddenly surfaced.  I may be
queer as hell, but I'm not going to hide it until I burst anymore.
Goddamnit, I loved this man and I was going to tell him.

"Let's go for a drive.  I need to talk to you."

"You got it, bud.  With all you helped me through, anything I can do to help,
you just ask."

"Thanks, Ryan." I replied.  "You don't know how bad it's been."

We walked out to the parking lot.  Ryan's Camaro was closer to us than my
Accord.

"Let's take my car," said Ryan.  "It's comfortable and, no offense David, but
I don't want you driving right now.  You look you're going to burst out
bawling or ram into a tree or something.  Maybe both."

"Ok," I laughed.  "You drive."

I settled into the comfortable seats and we drove north around a mearby lake.
 Nothing was said for a few minutes.  You could sense the tension in the air.

"So what is eating at you?" asked Ryan.  "I thought I said something wrong."

"You didn't say anything Ryan," I mumbled.  "I... well, I just don't know how
to say it."

"Say what? Is it work, personal, or something else?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know how to say it.  I'm sorry I'm treating you like shit, but
I... well, it's embarrassing."

"I won't laugh," he said.  "I promise."

"Promise never to repeat what I am about to say?" I asked.

"I promise," said Ryan.  "Cross my heart and hope to die.  Get it off your
chest.  What's eating at you?"

"I don't know how to tell you this," I said.  "But... I... I kind of like
your shoes."

"My what?" Ryan laughed.  "Dude, I'm sorry for laughing but you like my big
shoes?  What would make you say..."  His voice trailed off and it got kind of
quiet in there.
Somehow I got the courage to speak.

"No, not just the shoes, you." I said.  "All of you.  I like you, a lot.  I
have wanted to tell you this for so long.  Ryan, I've fallen for you and I
want you more than anything in this world.  It hurts so bad knowing we can't
be together and it's killing me."

I started crying and the tears just started pouring down my cheeks.  Ryan
pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"It's okay.  I understand," he said.  "I'm not gay, but I know what you're
going through.  It's okay with me."

"But you don't understand, I LOVE YOU.  I think about you all the time.   You
are so good to me, I can't stand it.  I wish sometimes you would go away just
so I can be spared the pain.  Ryan, I love everything about you and to you
I'm just a friend."

"It's okay," he said.  "No, I can't be those things to you.  I can only be
your friend.  I'm hurting too.  I don't have a girlfriend right now and I'm
hurting pretty bad.  I need someone to hug me, but I didn't tell anyone."

"I want to hug you so bad, Ryan.  Just for a minute," I begged.  "Please hold
me with your arms.  Nothing sexual."

"Come here," he said.  "I need a hug as much as you."

We both unbuckled our seatbelts and I moved closer.  He tentatively held out
his arms in a mechanical fashion.  I slid between them and wrapped my arms
around his back, pressing him to me.  A thousand volts of electricity shot
through my body as the love in my heart flowed into his body and his presence
filled me.  His closeness brought a fragrant male aroma I could only dream
of.  I wished it could go on for a thousand years.

Charged with sexuality, my hands roamed his muscular back.  My lips sought
his neck and, at first, he stiffened.  As I kissed his neck and drank in the
scent of his underarms and sweaty neck, it spurred me on.  My lips found his
cheeks and kissed along his jawbone.  Ryan relaxed as my lips found his and I
kissed him urgently.  At first not responding, Ryan then opened his lips
slightly and let me kiss him, but he did not kiss me back.  I pulled back.

"I'm so sorry," I said.  "I crossed the line."

"It's okay," he said.  "I'm straight, but it wasn't that bad.  I kind of
liked it, but I have some things to work through.  Do you feel better?"

"No, there is one more thing I need to do," I replied, "more than ever now."

"What's that?" Ryan asked.

"One time.  This one time and you don't have to do anything.  PLEASE can I
suck your cock?  I've even dreamed of it in my sleep.  Please this one time?"

"Ummmm. I don't know," Ryan said.  "I've never let a guy do that to me and
I'm not sure if I want to."

"It's okay," I replied.  "I've looked forward to this for so long and I
wanted it to be perfect.  You'd have to want me to do it or it wouldn't be
right."

"I don't know," said Ryan.  "I just don't know if I can do anything back.
But if you want to, you can do it to me if it will make you feel better."

"No." I said.  "You have to want it, not just because I want to do it.  It's
not the same.  Dammit, I want to take part of you into me and give you
pleasure.  Pleasure you WANT.  It has to have meaning."

"Look at me," said Ryan, grabbing his baggy shorts.  "I want it.  I need it.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I know I want it and you are someone
I want to give it to.  Please do it for me.  And you are special to me,
David.  I wouldn't say this to anyone else.  Please suck me off."

My heart broke again.  I reached up, kissed him on the lips and told him I
loved him.  My hand caressed the silky blue shorts, seeking out his love
muscle.  It was about half hard, running down the length of his shorts.  Not
even hard, it was already a respectable thickness.  I rubbed it gently and
felt it growing.  It was already at least eight inches long and night
entirely hard yet.  Ryan moaned.

I tugged on the shorts and he slid them down to his knees.  Ryan's hard dick
snapped to attention.  By this time it had to be close to ten inches and very
hard.

"It's beautiful," I said.  "Just like the rest of you."

"Make love to it," he whispered.  "Kiss it."

I studied his beautiful instrument.  It was so smooth and soft, yet hard
overall.  Free from any discolorations or imperfections, it was a work of
art.  I could tell Ryan was proud of his organ.  He should be.

"MMMMMM," he said as my mouth first contacted his erection.  "Ohhh that feels
good.  Slowly, David.  Do it slowly, so I don't cum too fast.  I want to make
it last."

I bathed his big dick in saliva and slowly pumped it with my hand.  That
mammoth dick pulsed and lurched in my hand as it maintained a healthy
inflation.  I again looked at it.  The purple head, the dark shaft and the
huge low hanging testicles were so beautiful.  I loved this man and he loved
me at least enough to make my fantasy come true this one time.  I would never
forget him.  I wanted to make this blowjob be the best he'd ever had.

Determined to do just that, I put that fat rod back into my mouth just in
time to catch a drop of sweet pre-cum.  I could tell he was excited as I gave
him a long, slow blowjob.  Ryan's hands caressed my head as I bobbed on as
much of the long cock as I could take.  His balls' scent was overpowering.  I
loved the sweaty stench of his crotch after a full day's work.

I moved my head faster and faster on his turgid flesh as my hand pumped
along.  Ryan moaned and squirmed as I worked him closer and closer to orgasm.

"Please make me cum," he begged.  "Suck that dick for me David.  I want to
feel my cum in your mouth baby.  MMMMMMM.  I'm getting close."

When I heard his warning, I increased the speed and intensity of my sucking
and stroking.  His body lurched violently.

"Oh God!  Ohh!  Ohhh!  Uhh!  UHHHH!"  I saw stars as his dick rammed into my
throat and began to spurt.  There was such a volume of cum, I gagged on it.
Cum ran out of my mouth.  I choked on it and some went up my nose.  My shirt
had cum all over it.  Ryan shot yet another string of cum and it hit me on
the face.  I licked off what I could of his deliciously sweet semen.  Finally
his huged dick quit shooting and he relaxed, exhausted.

"Ummmm.  Sorry dude. Let me get you a rag."  He fished around on the floor
and grabbed an old shirt.  Wiping my face with it, I once again smelled his
armpit scent.

"Damn, that was good," Ryan said.  "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes," I replied.  "A lot."

"I don't think I can do that back to you right now," he said.  "I'm not sure.
 But maybe if you wanna get together again sometime we can do this kinda
thing again.  That is, if you want to."

"We'll just take it as it comes," I answered.  "Let's just go with what
happens.  All I know is you made my fantasy come true.  I'll always love you
and remember this day even if you don't love me back.  I love you Ryan."

"Okay," Ryan said as he pulled up his shorts.  "Maybe we can get together and
go swimming sometime this week after work."

"Are you asking me out?" I inquired excitedly.

"I dunno.  Let's just see what happens dude."