Date: Sat, 31 Aug 2002 20:55:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: Terence Audette <taarob@yahoo.com>
Subject: Daniel in My Life

It was about six pm on a Saturday afternoon in early May,
the trees were beginning to green and warm weather could
almost be counted on.  My day had been, unfortunately,
typical, which is to say impossibly busy and now I was
pretty sure that the model home that I was going to see had
already closed.  I was running up the steps to the front
door when this guy was coming out.  He looked at me and
said.  "Sorry buddy but we're closed."

"Oh fuck!"  I stopped to catch my breath. Then realized that
he was taking that remark personally.  "Oh geez, I'm sorry!"
I laughed.  "It's not your fault.  I just need a job with
normal hours."

He smiled.  "They killin ya?"

"Sometimes it feels like it."

He smiled at me again and I noticed that he had blue eyes,
you know the kind that are brilliant blue with a kind of
black surround that just seems to make the blue stand out
even more.  He held out his hand.  "My name is Daniel
O'Connor."

"I'm James Lapointe.  Is that the same O'Connor of O'Connor
Homes as in the sign out front?"

"That's me, actually it was mostly my dad up until he died a
few years ago.  Now it's me."  He looked down for a second.
"Why don't you come in and look around.  It's not like
anybody's waiting for me."

"Man I would really appreciate that!  I can't seem to find
the time during normal hours."

Daniel walked me around the model home and showed me the
many variations that were possible.  I told him what I liked
and how I would really like to have a custom home built on
land that was not necessarily part of a development.  He
said that they did have some land that would fit that
description and that he'd be glad to show it to me.

Daniel was a stunningly good looking man, at least to me.
He was short and thin, maybe 5'6" and 140 pounds with black
slightly wavy hair and as he walked away from me I noticed
that he had what looked to be an incredible ass.  There was
a quality about him, something was telling me that he was
gay.  Not that he was effeminate because he wasn't but there
was something there.

After an hour or so of talking I said to him.  "Daniel you
said you didn't have anyone waiting for you.  Would you like
to have dinner?  I don't have anyone waiting either."

Daniel looked at me and smiled.  "Yeah...I think I'd like
that."  God he's got a pretty mouth!

I walked over to him.  "We could take my car," I pointed
toward the door. "it's just out front."  He was looking up
at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.

I was fiddling with the keys in my coat pocket and I
suddenly wanted to kiss this guy so bad.  "Damn!  Look if
I'm wrong here, please forgive me."  I reached over and put
my hand behind his neck and drew him slowly to me.  I was
lowering my head and thank god he was opening his mouth
slightly.  I kissed him soooooo gently, our lips just
touching, a whisper.  "Oh god!"

He was looking into my eyes and then he looked down quickly
and then back.  He smiled.  "You're a good kisser."  He
laughed.  "You kiss everyone that tries to sell you
something?"

I was still holding his face gently in my hands.  I smiled.
"Only the very best looking ones."  I lowered my head and
kissed him again this time probing his mouth tentatively
with my tongue.

He wasn't trying in any way to pull away from me, if
anything he was leaning into me.  "There's a restaurant a
mile or so from here."  His voice was soft.  "They have
great steaks."

"Would that be okay with you?  I mean, let's do that okay?"

"Okay but ya gotta let go of my hand or I can't put my
jacket on."  He laughed and it went into me like an electric
current.

I just couldn't stop looking at him.  I felt like a complete
fool but I just couldn't take my eyes off of him and the
more that I watched him the more that he watched me watching
him.

"You gonna be okay?"  He put his hand on my arm and looked
up at me.

"Maybe food."  I coughed.  "Maybe I just need some
food.haven't eaten."

The restaurant was close and well I guess the word would be
intimate, dark wood, a fireplace.  We both order steak and
had just gotten our wine.

Daniel asked.  "So tell me what you do for a living?"

"Okay but please don't hate me."

"Oh god, you rob banks!"  He was smiling.

I laughed.  "No, it's worse that that, much worse."

"Oh no!  Don't tell me that you're a lawyer?"

I lowered my head.  "It's true."

"Well you must have learned how to kiss before you became
one."  The candle on the table was dancing light around his
face.

I pushed my hand across the table and just barely touched
his fingertips.  "You liked being kissed didn't' you?"

He smiled and nodded.  "You taste good."

"I still can't believe that I did it.  I've never done
anything like that in my life."  I was looking at my glass
of wine as I swirled it around.  "I mean, most of my life
I've tried to hide the fact that I'm gay and even after all
that's happened I still don't advertise it but you had a
look on your face......like you needed to be kissed."  I
looked at him and smiled.  "I hope you don't think I'm a nut
of some kind."

Daniel looked at me questioningly.  "What all has happened?
Well...if you want to talk about it."

"Divorce."  I looked at the table.  "My wife hired a
detective and he caught me with a guy.  You'd think that I'd
know better."  I looked up at Daniel.

"How long were you married?"

"Twelve years, two kids, both boys, Robert 12 and Jason 10,
they both hate me now."  I could say it but there was no way
to describe how much it hurt, having your sons hate you.

Daniel looked at me but I couldn't read his expression.
"I'm sorry about the pain involved.  How long did you know
that you were gay?"

"Oh god, from the time that I was twelve."  I ran my hand
through my hair.  "I just couldn't deal with it.  Now
everyone knows and, well, I guess, that mostly I've never
been happier.  Well, maybe happy isn't the right word."

"God," I said, "don't tell me that I'm some exmarried guy
with kids and hang-ups that you'd just as soon never see
again."

Daniel laughed.  "Are you always this hard on yourself?"

"No,"  I laughed, "remember, I'm a lawyer, usually I'm an
egotistical asshole who thinks he's the greatest thing ever
to happen."

"So why are you being so hard on yourself now?"  Daniel was
starring sheepishly into my eyes.

I looked down at the table.  "Your kiss......and something
about you.  I've been looking so long..I mean there's no one
to come home to..no one to care."  I looked at Daniel.  "Am
I freaking you?"

"Well you can't tell me you haven't been invited to parties.
I know the rich queens in this town and I'm sure they wanted
you for breakfast."

I laughed.  "Actually you're right.  I just couldn't deal
with that."  I looked seriously at Daniel.  "I'm really just
a normal guy,"  I laughed again.  "except of course for the
whole liking to have sex with men thing."

The waiter brought our food and we began to eat, Daniel
eating sparingly and me wolfing it down.

"So, you never answered me, am I freaking you out?"

"Nope, you're not freaking me out.  I guess that I pretty
much feel the same way."  He was twisting his napkin.  "I've
had boyfriends before, well a couple, but they never lasted.
Well, the only important one was the first one and it turned
out that he never really cared about me."  This looked
painful for him.  "He worked for my dad and he wanted
to...well, improve his position."

I spoke very softly.  "How long were you with the first
one?"

He looked up at me.  "Four years."  He laughed but he looked
like he wanted to cry.  "We didn't live together but I did
think that he loved me.  Turns out he wanted job insurance
and something to fuck.  He's married now."  He looked at me
with a kind of panic.  "God I didn't mean to unload that on
you!  I'm really sorry."

I took his hand in mine.  "It's okay Daniel, you can tell me
whatever you need to tell me."

"I don't think that I've ever told anyone all this shit
before, at least not at one sitting."  His hand was still in
mine and he was making no attempt to pull it back.

"I guess that I'd better give you back your hand so that we
can at least finish our dinner."

He looked at me and smiled and then looked down.  "You can
have it back over coffee, if you want."  He groaned and
lowered his head.  "God, I can't believe I said that."

I reached over and took his hand again.  "Daniel, I spend
every waking moment trying to get the truth out of people or
trying to make them see the truth.  You can be sappy with me
as long as that's the way you really feel."  I smiled at
him.  "Actually I like sappy."  Then softly.  "I like you."

"I like you too."  He smiled broadly.  "I let you kiss me an
hour after we met for chrissake!"

"It felt good didn't it?"  I said smiling.

He looked at me shyly.  "I can still feel it." Then  "And
yeah it sure did feel good.  It's been a long time since I
let anyone kiss me.  I forgot how....intimate it is."

I looked at Daniel for a minute.  "Daniel, I like you, I
think that I like you a lot, but we can go as slow as you
need to go.  I know that those first relationships have
probably left you feeling like you can't trust anyone, so if
I start going faster than you want to go just tell me.  You
won't hurt my feelings," I smiled. "I'm pretty tough."

Daniel looked at me for a long while.  "James, how about
this; we consider this dinner to be our first date and then
tomorrow you come over to my house for dinner.  We can be a
lot more relaxed there, I won't be so tired, and we can
really get to know each other."  Then.  "They don't make you
work on Sunday do they?"

"Nope," I smiled. "hasn't occurred to them yet and that
sounds great.  Can I come early?"

Daniel was drawing a map on the back of a business card.
"How bout noon?  And don't dress fancy, shorts or sweats
would be fine.  I'm a slob on the weekend, especially
Sunday."  He looked down at the table and scratched the back
of his head then looked up at me.  "If I had a lover I'd
stay naked the whole day."  He laughed an embarrassed laugh.
"Shit!  Forget that I said that!"

I laughed out loud.  "I never forget!"  I touched his hand
and spoke seriously.  "You can't imagine how I dream of a
day like that.  It's the thought of days like that that keep
me going."

It was dark when I dropped Daniel off at his car and we
embraced for a long time and I got to really kiss him.
Feeling his slender hard body against mine was intoxicating
for us both and we both had hardon's.

Daniel said.  "Geez, I better get outta here before I do
something that I don't want to do just yet."  He touched his
forehead to my chest.  "God I hope you're for real."

I lifted his chin and gently kissed him.  I whispered.  "I
am for real Daniel."  I put my hand behind his neck and drew
his head to my chest.  "Baby, we just have to see if we're
right for each other.  I'm hoping we are.  I need this so
bad."

I decided to wear to Daniel's exactly what I would have been
wearing if I was spending the day at home.  This consisted
of baseball cap, track suit pants, tee shirt, sweat shirt,
sneakers, and ah, no underwear.

Hysterically, it looked like we had coordinated our clothes,
he was wearing the exact same thing.

"Geez you've got great taste in clothes."  Daniel was
smiling.

"Well you did say casual."  When I walked in I held Daniel
lightly and kissed him.  I did it casually because you never
know how much of last night was just something of the moment
and I didn't want him to think that I was assuming too much.
He returned the kiss and I sensed the same need that I did
the night before.

I massaged his shoulders while I looked into his eyes.  "You
okay today?

"Maybe a little scared."  He was looking me right in the
eyes.  "But that won't stop me."

"Don't be afraid.  I won't bite unless you tell me to."

"Well I think the idea here is that we relax and just be
ourselves so come on in the kitchen and we'll get some
coffee and I'll give ya a tour of the place."  Daniel took
my hand and led me through the foyer and down a short
hallway to the kitchen.

While Daniel was pouring coffee I reached up under his
sweatshirt and rubbed my hands against his naked chest.  A
soft "mmmmm" came from his throat.   "Now if you keep that
up we're going to end up on the kitchen floor and the only
thing we're going to find out about each other is that we
both like sex."  He laughed.  "Besides, that's cheating."
He pulled my hands out from under his sweatshirt.

"When I'm near you it's hard not to touch you."  I kissed
the back of his neck.  I turned Daniel around and wrapped my
arms around him.  "I don't think that I've ever felt this
connected with someone, so relaxed."  I quickly kissed him.
"I feel that we're meant to be together, that it's fate."

Daniel grabbed my hand and pulled me to the living room.  We
sat on a brown leather sofa and Daniel laid back and put his
feet up on a cocktail table.  "High school, I went to high
school in Milwaukee and college at UW at Madison, majored in
architecture with a minor in English."  He rolled his head
and looked at me.  "Your turn."

"Okay, high school in Lake Forest Illinois, the Marine Corp
and then college and law school at Northwestern.  I always
knew that I wanted to be a lawyer.  My dad is one and he's
kinda my hero and my mom is nice too but she doesn't do
much."

"Why is your dad your hero?"

"Cause he's honest.  I mean he's also incredibly tough and
smart but he's got like this solid inner core of honesty
that just anchors him."  I knew that tears were starting to
form at the corners of my eyes but I ignored them.  I
reached over and took Daniel's hand.  "I want to be like my
dad, that's really important to me."

"Hmmm, sounds like my dad."  Daniel was twisting and playing
with my finger.  "Even when he found out that I was gay, and
in the beginning he was finding out in the worst possible
way with that guy starting rumors and shit.  He just told me
that I should always tell the truth, no matter what it was
and that if it turned out that I was gay it would be okay as
long as I told the truth."

Daniel looked at me.  "What did your dad say about the
divorce?"

"Oh god!  That was so hard.  I had to tell him before he
heard about it and I would have rather done about anything
other than that."  I pulled Daniel to me on the sofa.  "When
I was telling him he didn't say a word, just stared at me
and listened, no expression on his face at all.  It was more
frightening than if he had exploded or something.  Anyway
when I finally finished he says.  "James before I comment on
this I would like some time to do a little research."  Then
he says that he loves me and nothing changes that, ever, but
he needs a little time.  It took him about a week and by
that time he probably knew more about being gay than Larry
Kramer."

Daniel had let me pull him to me while I was telling him
about my dad and as I was talking he just seemed to
naturally snuggle down against me.  I had an arm over his
shoulder and from time to time I would bend down and kiss
the top of his head.

"You're lucky you've still got your dad and your mom."  He
looked up at me.  "Loosing my dad was really rough, there
was my mom to worry about, the business to worry about and
then the whole emotional thing of not having him around
anymore."  Daniel laughed.  "Sorry.  I don't usually do the
self pity thing."

Suddenly Daniel sat up.  "Wanna see my favorite room?"  He
was smiling.  "Come on."
He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and
dragged me upstairs.

"You taking me someplace where you can have your way with
me."

"Maybe later but now I want to show you this room."  Daniel
pulled me into a fairly small room that was all windows and
faced the south.  The sun was streaming in and if the upper
part of the window wasn't open the room would have been
intolerably hot, at least for May. There was no furniture in
the room but lots of plants, all kinds including herbs.
Daniel laid down in the center of the room on the floor the
sun was hitting him full on.  "In the middle of winter when
it's really cold outside I come into this room and lay here
naked and then it doesn't feel like I'm trapped in this snow
covered place."  He rolled over and looked up at me.  "You
think that I'm totally fucking nuts don't you?"

I laughed out loud and straddled Daniel on the floor.  I
leaned down and kissed him.  "No, no I don't."  I laid down
next to him.  "Nothing that makes you happy is crazy,
nothing."  I was running my fingers through his hair and my
face was very close to his.

Suddenly I realized that maybe I was pushing him and I laid
my head on the floor.  "Daniel, am I pushing too hard.  I
really don't mean to."

"No James!  No honest you're not."  Daniel rolled on his
side and put his hand on the back of my neck.  "I like what
you're doing.  It makes me feel good, like you really care."

"I do care."  I was still starring at the floor.  "Daniel it
doesn't make any sense to me and I don't expect you to feel
the same way yet but I think that I'm falling in love with
you."  I put my hand on his chest.  "Please Daniel don't let
that freak you out.  I probably shouldn't have said it but I
was gonna go crazy if I didn't."

I finally looked up at Daniel and he was smiling.  He
reached over and touched my face.  "Good, I wouldn't want to
be falling in love alone."

I leaned over and kissed him and then wrapped my arms around
him and kissed him even more deeply.  "I promise that I
won't hurt you Daniel, not like those other guys, I'd never
do that."  I laid my head on his chest.  "What do we do
now?"

Daniel got up and pulled me up with him.  He took my hand
and we walked slowly to his bedroom.  "It's been over a year
since I had sex with another person.  Horny doesn't really
describe it."  He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my
neck.  "Not that I want to put a lot of pressure on ya or
anything but god I need it."

I pushed Daniel down on the bed and layed down on top of
him.  "So this is just like you want a stud service right?
I smiled and kissed him.

"You got it babe!"

"Well, I'm your guy."  I started pulling his sweatshirt off
over his head.  His tee shirt came off with the sweatshirt
and for the first time I was looking at Daniel's naked
chest.  "God you're fucking gorgeous!"

I can't describe how beautiful Daniel looked to me, his
black hair, his blue eyes, his chest was defined without
being overworked.  I lifted my self up and slowly pulled
down his track pants.  His cock caught on the waist band but
then slapped against his stomach.  I pulled his pants off
and tossed them on the floor.  Daniel was totally naked.

I pulled my sweatshirt off over my head and tossed it on the
floor with Daniel's clothes.  I rolled off of him and lifted
my legs up and pulled off my track pants, like Daniel's my
cock slapped against my stomach.  I tuned on my side and
gently took Daniel's cock in my hand, it was about six
inches, perfectly formed and hard as a rock.  He gasped a
little when I touched his cock but then settled down.  I
took Daniel's left hand and put it on my cock.

Daniel sat up.  "Please tell me that's your fucking arm."

I laughed.  "I know you can handle it."

"Handle it?  We'd need a crane to handle it."  He smiled at
me and kissed me.  "I'm kidding, you have a pretty dick and
I've got some really good lube.

James, before we do anything, shit this is gonna sound
needy, but would you just hold me for a while?  I mean, I'm
as horny as you are but it's just been so long since I've
felt that and it's the thing I need most.

I laid down next to Daniel and held him in my arms, he
rolled over and put his head on my chest.  After a while he
reached down and lifted up my cock.  "Holy fuck!  You better
be gentle."

I kissed the top of his head and said.   "Daniel, I figure
that after this long without sex we better just treat you
like a virgin."  I massaged the back of his neck.  "Don't
worry hun we're not going any faster than you want to.
You're calling the shots."

Daniel was slowly stroking my dick.  "It sure is a pretty
one.  It may be the nicest dick I've ever seen."

"That's all that French Canadian blood in me.  Sometimes
those guys needed to split logs with their dicks."  I lifted
his chin up and kissed him.  "But I'm more than just a big
dick ya know.

I pulled Daniel up even with me and held his face in my
hands and kissed him.  "It's like you've taken over my mind,
for the last twenty-four hours I haven't been able to think
of anything else.  I got cases sitting on my desk and I
don't give a fuck about them.  There's like a million things
that I need to get done regarding my family and the divorce
and I don't give a fuck about them either.   When I close my
eyes I see your face, when I open them I want to see it.
I've never felt like this before in my life, not for my wife
not for anyone."   I kissed him again.

I began to kiss the underside of Daniel's jaw and up behind
his ear, moving very slowly, enjoying every centimeter of
the skin that I was adoring so totally.  When I kissed
behind his ear Daniel began to moan very softly almost
inaudibly so I began kissing all around his ear and slowly
working my way inside of it.   This seemed to cause a
explosion of movement as Daniel started writhing under me
and gasping as my tongue entered him.  I held his head with
both hands and stopped him from moving too much.

>From his ear I moved my tongue down to Daniel's nipples,
which are pretty prominent.  Generally if a guy has big
nipples they're sensitive and so were Daniels.  The first
lick had him begging me to stop but aside from varying the
pressure of my tongue and teeth I kept torturing his
nipples.  All during my working over of Daniel's nipples his
legs were coming up to the point that by the time I was done
with them his legs were wrapped around my waist and my dick
was poking somewhere near his ass.

After I finished with his nipples I returned to kissing
Daniel.  The kisses were deep and passionate and our tongues
became intimately acquainted with each other.

"James, please, I'm ready, please man, I need your dick."
He kissed me.  "Please fuck me."

I put my mouth next to his ear and in a husky whisper.  "You
really need my cock?"

"Oh god yeah!  Please James, fuck me."

I pushed his hair out of his eyes and spoke in the same
voice.  "Daniel, when I fuck you your ass is gonna be mine.
That what you want?

"God yes James!  Just stick it in me."  Please babe I really
need it now!

"Do ya love me?  I want to fuck my lover."

"Yes, oh fuckin yes!  I love you James."

"You sure you want it."

He just groaned.  I turned him over so that he was on his
hand and knees.  I pushed his knees further apart, took the
lube on the night stand and started applying it to Daniels
asshole, slowly pushing my index finger in and moving it
around so that he'd get used to it.  Soon it was joined by a
second finger and eventually a third.  I pushed them in
twisting them as I went.  Daniel was silky smooth inside and
his asshole tightened around my fingers.

"You ready?"

"God yes!  Put it in.....but slowly."

I put my condom covered dick where my fingers had been and
slowly pressed forward for a bit and then stopped.

"Okay Daniel, it's up to you now, push back and take as much
as you can."  We were both lightly sweating as Daniel
started pushing backward, making little grunting sounds.

Just as we were reaching the point were Daniel was either
going to push me back off the bed or my cock was going to
break in half in popped into him.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh holy fuck!"  Daniel was trying to pull off my
cock but I held him in place.

"Hang in there Daniel!  It'll pass."

"Ohhhhh fuck that hurts!  Ohhh fuck!"  Daniel lower his head
to the bed while he got used to my cock in his ass.   I
leaned forward and rubbed his shoulders and talked quietly
to him.

Very slowly, so slowly that even Daniel couldn't much feel
it I began to fuck him.  When I say slowly I do mean slowly,
an eighth of an inch in, a sixteenth back, slowly going
deeper into him.  I talked to him for every second, telling
him that I loved him, telling him how great his ass felt and
how good it was going to feel for him soon.  By the time
that I had about six inches in his ass I was moving about a
half inch in and out and Daniel was no longer talking about
pain.

"Oh baby!  Oh baby your ass feels fucking fantastic!"  And
god it did!  Having my cock in Daniel's ass threw my
feelings for him into overdrive, all I could think of was
keeping this man mine.  This sure wasn't my first fuck but
it made all the others seem like nothing.  Seeing Daniel
throw his head back first in pain and now in ecstasy was
making my heart turn in my chest.  I wanted both to totally
dominate him sexually and to totally serve him as a lover, a
mate.  I knew that for better or worse things were never
going to be the same and that the man beneath me was going
to be the center of my life.

"Fuck James, oh god!  Your cock is so fucking great!"  He
reached under himself and felt my dick moving in his ass.
"Oh man!  That's fantastic."  Then.  "Give me more James, I
can take more.  I slowly buried my cock all the way into
Daniel's ass, he gasped but then said.  "Fucking yes, yeah,
yeah!"  Then.  "Been so fucking long.  So fucking good, so
good."  Daniel reached back and felt my cock moving in him
again and then held my balls in his hand.  "God I can hold
your balls James!   I can hold your fucking balls while you
fuck me."

"Oh shit!  Oh god James, I'm fucking cumming."  Daniel
clamped down on my dick as he started to cum and at the same
time started bucking his ass up and down and that triggered
my own orgasm.

"Oh fuck Daniel!  Oh fuck, I'm cumin in your ass."  I
dropped down over Daniel's back as I pumped my load into is
ass.   I kissed the back of his neck and wrapped my arms
around him.

Afterwards we just collapsed forward, Daniel on his stomach
with me on top of him my cock still in his ass.

Slowly I pulled Daniel over on to his side with me behind
him.  My cock slowly plopped out of his ass.  After a few
minutes to get our breath back Daniel rolled over so that he
was facing me, he buried his face in my chest and wrapped
his arms around me.  I was beginning to understand that
Daniel's need for affection was almost limitless and he
loved burying his face in my chest while I held him, this
was a position that he would happily stay in for hours or
until he was moved.

I kissed the top of Daniel's head.  "You doing okay?"  I was
lightly rubbing Daniel's back.

"Better than."  He was talking into my chest.

"You're being kinda quiet."

"Trying to sort it out."

"I love you."

"God I love you too!"  Then.  "Are you always this nice?"

"How do ya mean?"

"Well....just nice.  I mean like everything you've done."
He looked up at me.  "You've been so patient with me."

I rolled Daniel onto his back, wrapped my arms around him
and kissed him deeply.  I ran my fingers through his hair.

"You don't suppose it's because I love you do ya?"  Daniel
looked confused.  "Daniel, these aren't just words to me and
I don't understand how in the hell it could have happened so
fucking fast, but babe, I do love you."

"I know you do.  I can feel it."  He turned into my chest
again.  "Just been so long."

I held Daniel for a long time and then began to notice how
perfectly formed his ass was, how creamy white the color and
how perfect the shape.  I ran my hand down his back as his
face was laying on my chest and started massaging those
beautiful cheeks and slipping my finger just slightly into
his ass.

"Mmmm, that feels nice."

"Daniel you have the prettiest ass I've ever seen."

"Well you've got the prettiest dick that I've ever seen."
He reached down to touch my cock.  "Oh geez."  He lifted his
head and looked down at my cock then up at me.  "Wanna split
some logs?"

We fucked on and off for the rest of the afternoon, then
took a break for some grilled steaks.  Afterwards we
snuggled together on a chaise lounge on the patio watching
the sun going down and just being in love together.  Finally
it got too cool to stay outside and we went inside, lit a
fire in the fireplace and wrapped ourselves in a blanket and
sat in front of the fire just kinda kissing and playing with
each other.

"Oh fuck Daniel!  I looked at him.  "I gotta go to work
tomorrow!  I don't have any clothes with me."

"James don't go!"  He took my face in his hands.  "Honest
babe I'll wake you up early tomorrow and you can run home
and change.  But I really need you here tonight."  Daniel
looked angry with himself and got up off the floor and went
and sat on the sofa.  "Forget that James, I'm being fucking
needy, if you need to go home so you can get ready for work
tomorrow then you should do that."

I walked over to the sofa and pulled him up into an embrace,
we were both naked.  "Promise you'll get me up by five?"

"I promise.  And I promise I'll wake you up in a way that
you'll like."  He took my hand.
"Let's go to bed.

By five in the morning I think that I was more tired than I
have ever been.  My wife and I didn't fuck like that on our
honeymoon, well with her what could you expect, in any event
by the time that I got to work I was pretty much a zombie.

Part of me wanted to move in with Daniel, which is what he
wanted also, but on the other hand I had my kids to think
of, since visitation hadn't been settled yet, not that they
wanted to see me but I still felt that I needed to keep my
own place.  Over the next few days I did start bringing some
suits, shirts and ties over to Daniel's.  I couldn't stand
not being with him especially at night and as strongly as I
felt that, it was even worse for him.  Daniel wanted me with
him every second, and more than anything on earth I wanted
to make him happy.

I'm sure that my work suffered although I tried really hard
for that not to happen but quite honestly the only thing on
my mind for those first few weeks was Daniel.  I wanted to
be with him.   I wanted to be sure that he was okay.  I
guess that I was and to a large degree still am feeling a
very basic need to make sure that the one you love is happy
and safe.

I wasn't really going home to my apartment anymore, when I
left work I went to Daniel's unless I needed to pickup more
clothes or something.  It was weird at first, I mean I love
Daniel, but it wasn't our house, it was his.  I kinda got
used to that but I was also kinda feeling like a long term
guest or something.  But I was sure that we could work it
out.