Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2001 14:09:00 -0400
From: Michael Raburn <mraburn@bellsouth.net>
Subject: Daniel's Love Chapter 13

THIS WORK IS FULLY PROTECTED BY U.S. COPYRIGHT LAWS.  NO PORTION OF
THIS WORK MAY BE COPIED OR REDISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE
EXPRESS CONSENT OF ITS AUTHOR.

THIS WORK DEALS WITH A FICTITIONAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MEN.  IF
READING ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS OR SEXUAL CONTACT BETWEEN TWO
MEN IS EITHER ILLEGAL IN YOUR AREA OR OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READY
ANY FURTHER.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY AND USE CONDOMS, THEY
MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE
HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO PRACTICE UNSAFE SEX—-PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS
DECISION IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN THAT PATH.

ANY SIMILARITIES TO ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
THIS WORK IS ENTIRELY FICTITIONAL.



***Guys, Thanks for your responses.***

The saga continues...


DANIEL'S LOVE

Michael A. Raburn

Chapter 13


All I could do was lie in Daddy's arms and cry.  He held me close and tried
his best to comfort me as he rocked us back and forth.  What had he done?
Why did he kiss that boy?  What would I do now that my lover didn't want me
any more?  All those questions ran through my head as I remembered the
great way this day started.


"Come on lover, get up." I nudged the sleeping boy beside me but he was not
moving.  "Jace, baby, it's time to get up.  We've got that meeting today."
I rolled over to face him.  Tracing my finger down his nose and across his
cheek, I began to tickle behind his ear, one of his most sensitive spots.

"Hmm." He groaned then began to giggle in his sleep. "Stop it." His hand
waved at his ear.

"I love you." I whispered, leaning on his chest and burying my face in his
neck.

"Oww, you bit me." He feigned hurt.  "Now you're going to get it."

Jason flipped me off him onto my back and quickly covered me in his strong
teenage body.  He grabbed my wrists and raised my hands over my head and
his legs clamped mine, effectively trapping me under him.  With a devilish
grin on his face he lowered his mouth to my side and licked from my waist
up towards my armpits.

"Aieee!"

"Shhh, they'll hear us."

"No, don't!"

Giving up on being able to tickle me without me screaming and waking the
whole household Jason released my hands and caressed down my back.  I
wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a long, passionate kiss.
His cock sprang up to nudge under my balls, trying to find its way back in
my body.  Last night we had made love late into the night and finally fell
asleep with him still lodged in me.  Could there be any better way to fall
asleep than in the arms of the boy you love?  I don't think so.

"If you guys are going to get to school on time, you'd better get in the
shower now!"  Daniel shouted as he walked past our door.

"Kay!" I yelled back.

"Have we got time for a quicky in the shower?" Jason asked.

"Maybe, if you'll get your fat ass out of the bed." I laughed, running
towards the bathroom.

"Hey!  My ass isn't fat." He protested, jumping up to chase after me.

"Well, it got you out of bed, didn't it?" I snickered.


We finally emerged from the shower, dressed and made it to the patio just
as Daniel was putting our plates on the table.  It was a warm already at
seven in the morning so I knew it would be another scorching September day
before it was over.  Paul looked up from the drawings spread all over his
end of the table and smiled at us as we swooped by and kissed him on the
cheek.

His hair was finally beginning to grow back in after the surgical team had
shaved it to remove the bullet that ricocheted around his skull.  It was
still strange to see him with only the stubble and not the thick graying
brown he had when we met him.  Daniel had joked that it was at least a way
to get Paul to get a haircut.

Four months had passed since Paul suddenly appeared at the grand opening of
Cornelia's building.  I know it wasn't really hers, but that's how I always
thought about.  None of the family knew that he was coming but I had a
sneaking suspicion that Daniel knew something about it because he did not
really look surprised, just happy to have his husband back.  We were all so
happy to have him back with us even though he looked tired and weak.  The
doctors didn't want him to leave the hospital but he's kind of stubborn.

He was so weak by the end of that hectic day that I thought we would have
to put him back in the hospital.  That night when we all were gathered
around the bronze statue he sat quietly in Daniel's arms and snoozed.
Grandmother Cornelia finally called the cars and we moved to her huge house
for the next two weeks.  She did not want us to go back to Atlanta until
Paul was stronger.  Jason and I passed the time by swimming and playing on
the property.  Several times Mr. Garland took us out to a big ranch so we
could ride horses.

After we got back home we were busy with helping the neighbor pack all his
stuff and move to the nursing home, getting ready for school and going to
Mrs. Johnson's summer civil rights camp.  Jason and I understood what Daddy
and Daniel were trying to do with this program and we volunteered to help
organize the group.  I almost fainted when we got to the school that day
and were met by all those angry protestors.  I think Daniel was ready to
sock that Vera woman when she got in Dad's face, but Paul as usual was calm
and cool when he was under pressure.

Thank God for that, if he had not been so strong I don't think I would have
survived what my real father was going to do to me in that stupid cabin.  I
don't think I'll ever be able to go back there, the memories are just too
strong.  Maybe I'll get Paul to sell it when the adoption is final.  I know
it's the only thing my mom left me, but there are two more lots that we can
keep.  I just don't ever want to see that cabin again.

Jason and I ate breakfast in the usual hurry; we just couldn't get
ourselves out of bed early enough during the week.  Leaving the arms of the
only person I'd ever love was just so hard.  We were pretty open about our
relationship at school and no one seemed to say too much about it, just an
occasional snide comment.  I guess they were afraid of what the teachers
would do if they found out that anybody was bothering us.  Anyway, Jace and
I didn't like to see the guys kissing or feeling up their girlfriends in
the halls so we didn't do it either.  Several times, I almost kissed him
when we left our lockers, but instead I'd touch his arm and wink at him.
He'd wink at me and mouth the words "later."  Hey, what do you think
happened, I got hard.  Daddy says it's normal for a guy, especially an
almost fifteen-year-old one.  I hate having to walk to class with my books
in front of me to hide my erection.

Jason and I only have two classes and lunch together so I hadn't seen him
since History.  We always meet out front by the bike racks so we can ride
home together.  Today he wasn't there when I got out like he usually is.
His last class is in the front of the building and I have to walk all the
way from the art studio in the back.  I stood by our bikes for a few
minutes trying to find him.  After the crowd cleared and he still wasn't
there I wandered around out front for a while.  As I was turning to walk
back to the steps and see if the secretary knew anything about him and
where he was, if he's gone home sick or anything I saw something behind
that big oak tree.  As I got closer I heard Jason's voice but I couldn't
tell what he was saying.  I went over to tell him that we'd better get on
home so Daniel wouldn't worry when I saw him pull that twit, Andy Bonner
into a hug and kiss him on the lips.

I guess I screamed, I'm not really sure, but several people turned to look
in my direction.  I remember running towards home, knowing Daddy would know
what to do.  I didn't even stop long enough to get my bike or my book bag,
I just ran.  How had this happened?  How was I going to be able to live the
rest of my life without my Jason?  I'm not even sure I want to live without
him.  How I ever got home, I'll never know.  The only place I knew I'd be
safe was with Paul, he wouldn't let anybody else hurt me, not even Jason.


I realized I was crying when I opened my eyes.  How long had I been asleep?
I snuggled into the warm arms that were holding me.  "Jason, I love you." I
mumbled as I lifted my head to see what time it was since I could see out
the window that it was dark.  Wait a minute, those are not Jason's arms
holding me, they're Dad's.  Oh no, it wasn't all a bad dream.

"Kyle, are you okay?" Paul asked, pulling me back into him arms.

"Daddy, I'm so scared.  What am I going to do without him?" Surprisingly I
wasn't crying any longer.  I'm not sure whether I was numb or just facing
the inevitable fact that he was not my lover anymore.  At least he could
have been honest with me and told me before he put the moves on Andy.

"Baby, it'll be alright.  You know we all love you.  Jason feels awful
about this, about what you saw." He explained.

"He feels awful?  How does he think I feel?" Oh, well, so much for not
crying.  I crumpled back into Daddy's embrace and cried into his chest.

"I love you, Kyle.  We'll get through this."

"I love you too, Daddy.  Please don't stop holding me." I begged.

"Not for anything in the world, my son."


Some time in the middle of the night I woke up and knew I needed to go to
the bathroom.  I eased out of Dad's arms and climbed off the bed.  I was
still dressed in my school clothes, so I shrugged out of my shirt and
dropped my jeans on the chair beside the bed and headed off to the
bathroom.  After I peed, I looked in the mirror at my face and almost
didn't recognize it.  My eyes were red from crying and I had dark circles
under my eyes.  No wonder Jason didn't want me, I looked awful.  I opened
the medicine cabinet and realized what I needed wasn't in there.  I turned
on the water to fill the bathtub and closed the door as I left so Paul
wouldn't wake up.  Dad and Daniel's room was next to ours so I could sneak
in their bathroom and get what I needed.

I tiptoed down the hall and peeked in the bedroom before I entered.  Daniel
was asleep but rolled over as I stood there.  I was afraid he would wake up
so I backed out of the room and wandered back towards the studio.  There on
Paul's table was what I needed.  As I picked it up and turned back around I
saw Jason asleep on the Dad's sofa.  I tiptoed over and stood looking down
at the boy I loved, tears streaming down my face.  I leaned over and kissed
him on the forehead.

"I'll love you forever, Jace."


The water was warm as I removed my briefs and stepped in.  I lay there a
few minutes remembering all the wonderful times that we'd had, the walks in
the park, the skating races, the lovemaking that Jason and I had shared.
Never in my life had I been so happy as this past year.  Even the mess with
my father had been bearable because of the love that filled this house.

I picked up the x-acto from the tub edge and held it like a pencil, pointed
it to my wrist and took a deep breath.  Would it hurt to die?  What was
waiting for me on the other side?  Would my mom and my grandparents be
waiting for me, or would I go where my father was?  I just wanted the pain
to stop.

I looked up to say a final prayer and caught my reflection on the large
mirror on the back of the door.  What in the hell was I thinking about
doing?  I remembered the time when Paul was in the hospital barely hanging
on to life and how much we all wanted him to wake up.  I saw how devastated
Daniel had been when he accepted that his lover might never wake up.  If I
did this I'd never wake up.  Why did I think I was defeated, I have the
rest of my life ahead of me.  I'm smart, sorta cute and talented.  So Jason
didn't want me, somebody would.

I threw the knife and had to giggle when it stuck into the wall.  Dad would
not be very happy about that.  Oh, well, it's better than the alternative,
I guess.  I was about to get out of the tub when the door eased open.

"Kyle, can I talk to you?" Jason asked as he rubbed the sleep from his
eyes.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, a bit of an edge to my voice.

"About what you saw and about how much I love you." He answered, his eyes
locked on the x-acto stuck in the wall.  "What were you going to do?" he
asked, panic evident in his voice.

"I was contemplating a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  How
stupid was that?  So you want Andy Bonner, so what?  Yes, I'm crushed, but
I'll survive."

"Ky, that's just it.  I don't want him.  It was a terrible mistake.  I've
only ever wanted you." He cried, tears filling his eyes.  "I don't know
what made me kiss him.  Can you ever forgive me?"  He was all out crying
now.

I flipped the drain lever, stood up and reached for a towel.

"Let me." Jason unfolded the towel and started drying my body.  I was not
sure that I even wanted him in the same room with me, much less drying my
body, but it felt so good to be this close to him.

"Jason, I don't know about forgiving you.  It'll take some time.  I do know
that I love you and I'm lost without you, but I don't know."

"Will you at least think about it?" he asked, pausing to wrap the towel
around my waist.

"Yes." I said simply.  "I need to get some shorts.  What time is it?"

"A little after two."

"Is there room for me on that sofa with you?" I asked, grinning.

"You betcha, pal."

I got some old running shorts and joined Jason in the studio.  He lay down
first and pulled the blanket up for me to him.  I snuggled up to his chest
and felt his arms pulling me into a hug.

"I love you, Kyle.  And I'm going to make this up to you." He whispered.