Date: Sun, 20 Apr 2003 09:53:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: bob smith <mason0201@yahoo.com>
Subject: Finally Home Chapter 8 Rev.

Happy Easter!

If you are not of age of consent in your area (18 or 21), please do not
read on.  I never got that rule, I mean who needs access to erotica more
then lonely gay teenagers?  Anyway, that's the rule.  If you're offended by
gay men having sex, or being in love, then what the heck are you doing
here?  Go away.

This is my story, I wrote it from my own mind.  Any relations to events in
real life is purely coincidental.  Do not reprint this story without
permission.

Please be nice.  If you don't like it I don't care, unless you can tell me
why you don't like it.  Then I am very interested.  Thank you.

If you want to be on my mailing list for story updates please email me at
Mason0201@yahoo.com and let me know.

Mason



Finally Home

Chapter 8


>From Brian's point of view:


My brother is the smartest idiot I know.  Toby.  Beautiful, sexy, sweet
Toby.  The man of Michael's dreams (he was in some of my dreams too, come
to think of it).  And when this beautiful, sexy, sweet man asks Michael
flat out 'How do you feel about me?'  What does Michael say?  The truth?
No, of course not.  He freezes, and then he says 'I don't know.'  I DON'T
KNOW.  Like I said, the smartest idiot in the world.

I have to give my brother credit though, he had it a lot harder then I did.
My parents actually did a wonderful thing.  They never did that twin thing
to us, never made us dress alike or any of that crap the parents do to
twins to clone their identities, and they even made our school put us in
separate classes in grade school.  So my brother and I are really close,
but we also developed our own personalities.  The problem was that I ended
up being much more outgoing then Michael.

It was always hard on him.  I mean, sure, we're great looking guys, but
we're also identical, so guys just tend to gravitate toward me, I'm the
flirt.  We have talked about this before and he doesn't mind, doesn't fault
me for it.  I still feel bad from time to time.  I can't help that I like
to flirt, or that I'm naturally friendly.  Michael always says that he
really doesn't enjoy flings anyway, so the fact that he's more serious
helps him avoid that.

The problem is that he's also kinda stuck in my shadow at times.  We've had
guys go out with him, meet me, drop him, and then come after me.  It sucks,
I never go out with those guys, they're assholes.  But it doesn't change
the fact that he has the roaring inferiority complex that doesn't often
show.

But it has reared it's ugly head where Toby is concerned.  When I first met
Toby my first thought was that Michael was going to drool over this guy.
Toby fits Michael's type to a T.  I personally like guys that are a little
bulkier, but I still recognized that Toby was totally gorgeous the moment I
met him.  What makes him even more hot is the fact that Toby seems to have
no idea how beautiful he is.  He moves with this unconscious grace.  Toby
has the body of a swimmer, with all these tight muscles that aren't ripped
and defined but that are kinda sinewy.  They make him look smooth and firm
and taunt.  His skin is light, he's actually pretty pale, especially
compared to the tanned look Michael and I inherited from being half
Italian.  Toby has this perfect face, well proportioned and blemish free,
with these luscious lips, and a little cleft in his chin.  Michael and I
have decided, after much discussion, that his hair must be natural, he
mentioned once how weird everyone used to think it was.  It's dark dark
blond at the roots but at the ends it's bleach white.  He keeps short and
kind of spiky/messy, less then an inch long, it looks good.  Toby's eyes
are what top's him off.  The brightest fucking green I have ever seen.
They almost glow.  He's beautiful, and I know Michael thought the same
thing when he first saw him.

Then the problem reared its ugly head.  The problem is not my intelligent
and well thought out 'hanky-panky' rule.  I could give a shit, I'm the one
that usually goes after our roommates and fucks it all up.  The problem is
that Michael, in addition to his inferiority complex, is star struck, in a
way.  You have to remember that Michael teaches literature, he loves books,
and Toby's books are like his favorite of all time.  I almost shit when I
found out that he was THAT Tobias Jamison.  Not that I thought it was any
big deal, I've never read any of his books, but I knew that Michael was
practically peeing himself.  We decided to keep quiet about the fact that
Michael had memorized passages from his books and had autographed copies
sealed in plastic hidden in a box under his bed, we didn't want to make
Toby feel weird.

I could tell that Toby being a big bad author would be a big problem.  Not
because of the inequity of their salaries, that's what I would have a
problem with, but Michael never put much stock in that kind of stuff since
teachers worked so hard for so little money.  The problem was Michael
inferiority complex, again.  Here was the great author, living in our
house, being gorgeous, attracted to Michael, Michael attracted to him.  But
Michael was scared out of his mind.  I'd ask him about it and he'd say,
"He's out of my league Brian.  Just leave it alone."  That was his stock
answer.

I wasn't too worried about it.  I could see Michael was falling hard,
falling in love even.  Michael had never really been in love, but I think
he was this time.  I figured that, you know, love conquers all.  I figured
that they would work it out.  I could tell that Toby was feeling the same
way, you can tell it every time he and Michael look at each other.  Toby
has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen.

Then came last Saturday, when everything went to hell.  I didn't hear when
Toby came in because I was busy, obviously.  But I was bidding my date
farewell at the doorway at about 5am when Michael came walking in, looking
like hell.  His eyes were red, like he'd been crying.  I shoved my date out
the door and followed Michael as he headed toward his room.

"Bro, what's wrong?  Is Toby Okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine, he came in hours ago."  Michael's voice was more sad then
I'd ever heard it.

"What happened?"

"I fucked it up Bri."

"What happened?"  I demanded, I know that thinking Michael might take
advantage of Toby was crazy, but I still feel a bit protective of the guy,
he feels like a little brother, in a way.

"I didn't do anything bad, you know I wouldn't push him like that.  I just
fucked it up."  Michael leaned against the wall heavily.

"How?"

"I dropped the ball, Bri.  I just ... dropped the ball."  Michael shook his
head sadly.

"What happened?"  I was getting tired of talking in circles, it was 5am
after all.

"Tomorrow bro, can we talk about it tomorrow, or later today?"  Michael
said pleadingly.  I realized he was exhausted.

"Okay bro, but we are going to talk about this."  I warned.

"I know."  Michael said with a sigh, he turned and went into his room.
Hanging his head like a scolded puppy dog.

The next morning I came out of my room just in time to see Toby breeze by
Michael and Irving without looking at either one.  I caught a glimpse of
him and I noticed first that he was wearing glasses, something I've never
seen before, and I also noticed that he looked just as bad as Michael did.
Irving just shrugged at Michael and turned to follow Toby.  Michael closed
the door and turned to me with tears in his eyes.

"God, what have I done?"  He looked lost.

"That's my question.  Come on Bro, I'll buy you a coffee."  I swung my arm
around his shoulders and led him into the kitchen.

Michael isn't human in the morning until after his coffee so I waited in
silence as the coffee percolated and I let him drink the first cup before I
started pushing.

"Tell me what happened."  I said gently.

Michael let out a loud sigh but knew that there was no way he was gong to
get out of this conversation.  "It started out great.  It was like one of
the dances we used to go to at O'Malley Hall, you know?  No one shows up
for the first hour right?"  I nodded and he continued.  "I'm supposed to be
the wanderer right, so I'm wandering, but there's nothing to wander
through, so I end up over where Toby is stationed, he's in 'make-out'
corner, you know behind that big post where Tony and Paddy are always
making out.  So anyway I spent a lot of time there talking to him, I don't
remember anything we talked about though.  He looked so good, that shirt
made his eyes look even brighter then usual.  I couldn't get enough of
looking at him.  I had to keep walking away to stop from popping a bone."

I chuckled softly.  "Then what?"

"Well then things got busy for a while, my job was to move around the dance
floor and confiscate the alcohol, so I did that for a couple of hours.
Then things got slow again.  Most of the young kids left, and the music
slowed down and I couldn't stop thinking about him, how much I wanted to
dance with him, so I walked up the side wall and came up behind him.  I
started massaging his shoulders.  I just had to touch him.  He just relaxed
and let me rub his shoulders and neck.  So I asked him to dance, you know,
I kinda made it a joke.  And he said yes.  You know, how mom and pop used
to dance, real close, him holding her hand, all romantic.  It just fit, I
held his hand and pulled him close.  It felt so right.  He felt so good,
like when he slept on me, you know?  Like that's where I wanted to be,
forever."  Michael stopped then, looking lost in the memory.  I gave him a
minute and refilled our coffee cups.

"What happened next?"  I prodded gently.

"Well as soon as we started dancing I started to get hard.  I couldn't help
it.  He felt so good, so smooth and firm and warm.  So halfway through the
song I'm hard as a rock and trying really hard not to kiss him right there.
And then I feel him start to get hard too.  It was like he was trying to
stop it, I looked down at him and he was looking at my neck, just kinda
licking his lips.  Like he was in this trance or something.  Then suddenly
he snapped out of it and he stepped back, like he just realized what he was
doing, he was all red and embarrassed.  He backed himself right against the
wall.  I just wanted him to know it was okay, you know?  Know that I was
hard too.  So I stepped up to him and pressed myself against him.  He let
out this moan, it was so hot, you know how intense I can get, and he just
seemed to love it."  I nodded, Michael was way more dominant then I was.
"I started to grind myself into him, and then he moaned again and I knew he
felt my bone too.  He put his hands on my waist and he started to grind
back against me, and I was about to kiss him, when we got interrupted."

"Someone caught you?"  I asked, wide-eyed.

"No, some girl on the dance floor freaked out on her boyfriend and started
screaming.  She screamed and it scared the shit out of us both.  I figured
that since I was supposed to be out there patrolling that I should go check
on her.  That ended the moment."

"What happened after that?"  I asked, knowing that there was more.

"Well, I didn't go back until it was time to go, I didn't know what to say,
so I waited until Father Patrick told me we could leave.  He told me to
take Toby home because he didn't look so good.  So I went over and he
looked dazed, and kinda scared.  I got nervous that maybe I had pushing him
without realizing.  So when we were outside I started to apologize.  But he
stopped me, he told me I didn't do anything that he didn't want.  So then I
asked 'what do we do now?' and then he asked how I felt about him, and
that's when I dropped the ball."  Michael stopped resting his head in his
hands.

"What did you say?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know what you said?"  I asked, confused.

"No, that's what I said.  I said I didn't know how I feel about him."

"You said that!"  I said a little too loudly.

Michael shook his head pitifully, his tears has spilled over by then.  "I'm
so stupid.  You should have seen the look on his face, he just turned and
walked away.  I wanted to die.  Then he said that he didn't do things
halfway and he knew I didn't either, and I asked what about dating, and
seeing where things take us.  And he was like, well what about the
hanky-panky rule? And what would Brian think?  And he asked what if you
approved and then things don't go well and then Toby is on the outs with
both of us.  Or what if you don't approve, he wanted to know.  He didn't
want to come between us."

"What if I approve and you two worked out?"

"That's what I asked him.  And he said that what if you started feeling
like the fifth wheel, or what if he started feeling like the fifth wheel?"

"I can handle feeling like the fifth wheel."

"What about him?"

"He wouldn't ever feel that."  I said confidently, he glanced at me
questioningly.  "Michael you love him.  You love him more then you love me.
I can see it.  That's how it should be."  Michael nodded sadly, and started
crying again.

"Did you ask him how he feels about you?"

"Yeah, finally I got a little pissed, he said he didn't want to risk coming
between us if I didn't know how I felt about him, so I threw it back in his
face.  I asked him if he knew how he felt about me and he said yes, he did,
but that if I wasn't sure he wasn't gonna put himself out there.  And then
he went inside."

"What did you do then?"

"I walked to the park and sat on the foot bridge, trying to figure out how
I fuck up this bad."

"Did you figure it out?"

"Yeah, I'm a fuck head.  I should have been honest, I should have taken the
risk and just told him that I love him or that I was falling for him or
something, I shouldn't have been so wishy-washy.  God, what did I do,
Brian?  He looked so hurt, I don't know if he'll ever forgive me."

The week just got worse from there.  Toby came home Sunday with food and a
bunch of wine, although Toby hardly ever drinks.  I knew he could tell we
had been talking about him, and he got shitty.  I felt bad and sent Michael
after him, but that didn't do much good.  The week went on and Toby avoided
us, his wine rapidly disappearing.  I was really worried about him.  I
think going to the center on Thursday was good for him, he once told me
that his support group is as helpful for him as it is for the boys.

Friday at work I got the surprise of my life.  I was in my office in the
back working on the inventory.  I love my job, I get to goof off and crunch
numbers almost all day.  It's perfect for me.  Anyway, about 2pm one of my
cashiers came back with the funniest look on his face.

"There's this really weird looking group of people out front looking for
you."

"Funny looking how?"  I ask, wondering if they were circus people or
something.

"Well this one guy is really tall and kinda looks like Lurch from Adams
Family, and then there's this other really short guy who's dressed kinda
like a Chinese Ninja.  And the have this old lady with them."  Suddenly I
smiled, wondering what Toby's grandmother was doing here.

"Careful what you call her kid, she'll havet hat ninja kick your ass."  I
commented before I hurried out to greet her.  Louise Cleveland doesn't look
like a normal old lady, at least not one from my family.  The older ladies
in my family are all fat and robust.  Louise is short and skinny, she wears
these business suits like she's thirty years younger, and she pulls them
off wonderfully.  She also doesn't have the usual fluffy haircut like most
old ladies, her hair is long and thick.  She usually wears it in a bun.
She looked no different today.  Although I do admit that she looked a bit
funny on Irving's arm standing among the roller blades.

"Louise."  I greeted her with a big smile as I approached.

"Brian, my dear boy."  She pulled me down and I hugged her and gave her a
kiss on the cheek as I pulled away.  "You have a wonderfully kept store."
She smiled.

"Why thank you."  I grinned.  "Are you here for that new mountain bike, or
does your skate board need new wheels?"

She laughed and looped here arm through mine and let go of Irving.  "I came
to bring you a cup of coffee, and see your office."  She said with her
eyebrows raised purposefully.  I nodded, having been expecting something
like that and took the small picnic basket that Irving offered me.  I
steered her to the back of the store and into my office.

In the basket was indeed a thermos of her gourmet coffee, complete with two
matching coffee mugs, cream, sugar, and spoons; and a plate of cookies
covered in green plastic wrap.  I set us up at the table I have in the
corner of my office.  We sipped coffee and munched on the best cookies I
have ever tasted.  I waited for her to start.

Finally she looked at me intently.  "I love my grandson very much, I don't
like to see him hurting."

I nodded, having expected this line of conversation.  "They're both
hurting, it's very painful for me to watch as well Louise."

"Perhaps since they can not seem to get their act together we should be
perfectly honest with one another about what we know."

I nodded, "Well then let me just say that I am happy to report that my
brother is head over heel in love with your grandson.  And he's terrified."

A broad smile lit up Louise's face.  "As is my grandson, in love and
terrified.  Now we both know that Toby is afraid to face rejection because
his family rejected him and because of his past relationships.  Now tell me
why Michael is so afraid."

"Well, I'm more outgoing then he is, he's really very shy, especially when
it comes to guys.  And my being more outgoing has tended to put him in the
shadow of things.  He's also a bit star struck."

"Star struck?"

"Michael was a huge fan of Toby's books even before he moved in.  He just
thinks that Toby is out of his league."

Louise nodded in understanding.  "You're brother has no idea how talented
he is does he?  Did you know that the standardized test scores for his
English classes have gone up 20% since he started teaching at Cleveland
Academy.  That's all his doing.  The students there love him, and that is
very rare at Cleveland."

I shook my head in amazement.  "No Louise I don't think he has any idea how
good he is."

"Well the question of the hour is what do we do about those two?"  Louise
had a thoughtful look on her face.

I grinned at her scheming look.  "Louise, I like how you think."

We tried to think of some subtly way to intervene.  We went around and
around for a while, finally, out of frustration, I said, "Too bad we can't
just lock them in a room together and not let them out until they admit
they're in love."

Louise looked at me as if I was a genius, "That's it!"

Louise and I ironed out our plan, the first part of which was for me to
make sure that Michael wouldn't back out of Sunday brunch, although I was
afraid he would, as he and Toby had been avoiding each other all week.  I
decided on my way home to just tell them that Louise had called to be sure
that we were all coming and that I had said yes.  That way neither one
could back out.  I hoped it didn't sound too out there.

I was in a much better mood when I came home, confident that our plan would
work.  I tried to keep the mood upbeat managing to keep both the guys at
the table long enough to announce the 'call' from Louise.  Of course
Michael got pissed, I was afraid that it wasn't going to work for a moment.
Getting Michael to change his mind when he's being stubborn is damn near
impossible.  I was amazed when Toby took over and basically told him off.
I'd never heard Toby yell before.  But he gave his speech and stormed off.
Michael looked at me wide eyed.

"So are you gonna go?"

"Yeah, I guess, I don't want him any more mad at me then he already is."
Michael looked so sad.  I walked up to him and gave him a hug.  He clung to
me like a lost child for a moment and then turned and went into his room.
I smiled to myself, hoping that one day Toby would laugh about how he
helped me set himself and Michael up.

____________________________________________________________________________
Coming in Two weeks ...  Will the plan work, or will if backfire?