Date: Mon, 5 Apr 2004 20:10:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: bob smith <mason0201@yahoo.com>
Subject: Finally Home/Growing Up/ Chapter 4

If you are not of age of consent in your area (18 or 21), please do not
read on.  I never got that rule, I mean who needs access to erotica more
then lonely gay teenagers?  Anyway, it's not my rule.  If you're offended
by gay men having sex, or being in love, then what the heck are you doing
here?  Go away.

This is my story, I wrote it from my own mind.  Any relations to events in
real life is purely coincidental.  Do not reprint this story without
permission.

This is going to be a multi-chapter story, there will be no sex for the
first couple of chapters, sorry to disappoint.

I wrote this story as if it were separate from Finally Home, but then I got
paranoid, the details of Toby and his boy's lives are so clear in my head
that I couldn't tell if I was leaving any back story out of Growing Up, so
I decided to post it with Finally Home.  Anyway, I apologize for the
repetition.

Also, sorry it's taken me so long to update this one, no excuses, I'm just
a spazz.

Please be nice.  If you don't like it I don't care, unless you can tell me
why you don't like it.  Then I am very interested.  Thank you.

Mason mason0201@yahoo.com -- email me to if you want to be added to my
mailing list as well.



Chapter 4


Back to Brian's POV:


	I wasn't going to go to the Birthday party.  I had decided.  It was
final.  It just wasn't a good idea.  Being around James was too hard these
days.  Seeing him like this was even worse then before the kiss.  He was
sad and withdrawn.  Every time we were close I found myself wanting to
touch him, hug him, kiss him, any kind of contact to put the sparkle back
in his eyes.  A couple of times, at the center, I actually reached for him
and had to pull my hand back.  I found myself avoiding him, but that hurt
too, seeing him, being in the same room with him brought me at least a
little peace.  But there was absolutely no way I was going to his party.
That would be too hard. I didn't want to make him feel awkward.  He should
be able to have fun.  He would get over me.  I knew he would, it became my
mantra.

	But then he asked me, all puppy dog eyes and dark beauty, and the
look he gave me ... made my carefully built wall crumble.  I found myself
agreeing.  The grin that spread across his face when I finally caved in was
gorgeous.  I wanted to kiss him so badly at that moment that I had to turn
away.

	So now I had to get him a birthday present.  I tried for a week to
think of something, anything, I'm a terrible gift giver, Michael usually
supervises my shopping, but this time I wanted it to be special, just from
me.  I was also feeling very apprehensive about going to the party at all.
So I think it was clouding my thinking.  Basically I was a nervous wreck.

	It was Friday, one week before the party that something happened
that started to change my thinking about the whole situation.  I was in my
office at work trying to concentrate on my latest staff evaluations when
one of my cashier's came back and told me I had a visitor.

	I went to the front of the store and found Louise Cleveland, Toby's
grandmother, standing there on the arm of her chauffer, Irving, who we've
decided is like Lurch with an English accent.  Louise had visited me once
before at my work, and as before I was struck at how odd this proper old
lady looked standing in the middle of a sporting goods store.  The last
time Louise was here was just before Toby and Michael got together, when
they weren't speaking, each thinking that the other didn't want him, Louise
and I had hatched a plan to lock them in a room together until they were
finally honest with each other.  It obviously worked since they are
together, but I was quite curious as to why she was here this time.

	She was wearing a purple pants suit, her long white hair was swept
back in a bun.  I greeted her with my first authentic smile in days.
"Louise, what a pleasant surprise."

	"Brian, my dear boy."  She hugged me tight.  "You have rearranged
your store, how will I find the wheels for my skateboard now?"  She joked.

	I regarded her with a raised eyebrow.  "Worn them out already?"

	"Actually my dear, I have come to bring you some more of my cook's
wonderful cookies, and I thought we would share a cup of coffee."  She took
my arm and Irving handed me a small picnic basket and Louise and I went
back to my office.

	Louise and I had a coffee date similar to this when she came to
talk to me about Toby and Michael, so I was suspicious that something was
going on but I decided to go with the flow.  I set up our little picnic at
the table in my office.

	Louise and I chatted through two cups of coffee and the plate of
chocolate chip cookies she had brought.  Mostly we talked about our
childhoods.  She told me stories about her childhood, her children, and
Toby growing up, and I talked a little about some of the crazy shit Michael
and I would pull growing up.

	Finally she came around to her husband.  "Did you know that I was
only 16 when I met my Harold?"

	"No I didn't know that."

	She nodded, "I was 16 and he was 25."

	"Wow, that's a big difference."  Warning lights started going off
in my head.

	"Yes, and Harold was nervous about dating me because I was so
young.  But he just needed to get to know me and then he understood that in
many ways I was more grown up then he was."

 	I spent a moment being shocked and wondering how she seemed to know
what was on my mind before I decided to ask how they managed to work it
out.  "What did he have to understand?"

	"I was the oldest girl, I had one older brother, 5 younger brothers
and 3 younger sisters.  Ten of us in all, my mother died when I was 14, and
in our big farm family that meant that my childhood was over.  So I quit
school and became the mother.  I owed it to my family and to my mother to
take over, and I did just that.  My baby sisters even grew up calling me
mama."

	"Wow."

	"The thing of it is Brian, I was suited for it.  I loved keeping
the house, and caring for the children.  I didn't enjoy school, my marks
were fine, but I was bored sitting at a desk all day.  I was ready to be an
adult.  Some people are like that Brian.  You aren't, I don't think, you
took longer to grow up, when you were 18 you still weren't sure who you
were, but there are people in this world who are forced to grow up more
quickly then others.  Take some of Toby's boys from the support group.
They have had to grow up quickly, like James."  My head shot up at the
reference, but Louise continued evenly.  "He sounds to me like a boy who
has seen enough life and hardship to be an adult, and even though society
doesn't see him as an adult he sounds like a boy who is already quite grown
up."

	"Why are you telling me this Louise?"  Suddenly it began to sink
into my thick skull that Toby was behind this, but how would Toby know
about James and I?

	"I thought it was something you needed to hear."  She stood and
began collecting her coffee cups and everything else she had brought.  She
paused and looked at me intently "Brian, my Harold and I had 52 happy years
together because he was smart enough to admit that he was wrong in his
opinions."

	My heart was pounding all of the sudden, she continued.  "I hear
your James will be 18 next week, perhaps if you can get over your own wrong
opinions you can make his birthday truly a happy one."  With that she
picked up her basket and left without giving me a chance to respond.

	I sat for a long time thinking about what she said.  Finally I
smiled to myself, and thought of part of her last statement.  My James, I
only hope he'll give me another chance.