Date: Thu, 03 Dec 1998 08:11:36 +0900
From: Andrej Koymasky <andrejkoymasky@geocities.com>
Subject: tattoo-04

--------------------------

I started writing gay stories in 1985 and to now I wrote about 80 of
them. Being Italian, of course I wrote them in Italian. Now, many of my
friends asked me to translate them in English. But my English, also if
understandable, is surely not a "literary" one: I can't know all the
nuances and literary tricks I can use in Italian. I need somebody
revising my translation. Now, I found a person that is kindly helping me
with my stories. But I can't ask to one single person to help me with
all of my stories. So, if amongst you there is somebody (with a good
English style) that thinks this unpaid work worthy, and wants to help
me, I would be really happy. If such a person exists, can send me an
e-mail at:

andrejkoymasky@geocities.com

----------------------------

FOR DRESS A TATTOO (YAKUZA)
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 1998
written the 21st of June, 1994
translated by the Author
English text
kindly revised by Randy.

-----------------------------

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"FOR DRESS A TATTOO (YAKUZA)" is a gay story, with some parts containing
graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion,
family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better
not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't
care, ore because you think yo really want to read it, please be my
welcomed guest.

-----------------------------

CHAPTER 4/8

UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER

Why did Kazunari make that gesture? To impress him? No, the young man
was intelligent enough to know it was useless. To remind Jun he was in
love with him? Jun didn't need that, he was always thinking of him. To
"buy" his family? No, he hadn't even written his name on the gifts.
Kazunari, to make such accurately targetted gifts to his family, had to
get information... Was he wanting to tell Jun he wasn't losing sight of
him?

Jun wasn't afraid of that idea. He didn't fear Kazunari, even knowing
who he was. He felt, he knew that Kazunari would never harm him. He
hadn't forgotten, he couldn't forget that splendid and intense night of
love, when he had experienced, literally with all his body, how much
Kazunari cared for him.

Jun felt a strong desire to meet again with Kazunari, but he thought it
would be a mistake. No, he could not do it. He couldn't forget him, of
course, but he must not meet him again. Absolutely not. Because if he
met again with Kazunari, he perceived with absolute lucidity, that he
would have not be able to part from him.

The boy, contrary to the first time, now immersed himself in the
studies, almost as if he was trying to find an antidote to his crazy
love for the young man that had entered his life with an earthquake,
like an earthquake.

But more and more often during the nights, he awoke suddenly and the
room he shared with his younger brother seemed foreign to him. And then
he had difficulty in falling back to sleep: he was feeling in an acute,
quite painful way how he was missing Kazunari. He would have loved to
have been in his arms.

At times he thumbed through the ancient book he had received as a gift
from his man, and said to himself that that precious book had a value
far beyond its commercial value: it was all he possessed, all that
remained to him of this man that had kidnapped his soul. The man he
would love forever, even if in vain.

Kazunari also struggled through days of intense activity but sleepless
nights. He succeeded, somehow or other, in not thinking of Jun
throughout the day, but as soon as he was alone, he could think of
nothing else. He needed Jun, and yet he couldn't leave his family, the
yakuza world. Was perhaps his love not strong enough? Can a man, for
love, renounce everything, renounce himself? Renounce his history, cut
his roots? No. The symbol was his cursed tattoo: he was its prisoner,
forever. If he could just change his skin! If he could just... but he
couldn't and the thought of that hurt him.

Several months passed that way. Spring came again, with his perfumes,
his colours, his warmth. A warmth that wasn't able to warm up either of
the two distressed lovers. Jun passed his exams, fairly well. Kazunari
concluded accords and important business and his mother was starting to
plan to leave him the family reins, even if she was worried by seeing
him so suddenly close, silent, so different from the bright, luminous
Kazunari she had always secretly loved more than any of her other sons.
Kazunari who had in himself the best of herself and of his father.
Kazunari who gave her just one problem: he refused to marry.

When her son had his eighteen birthday, his mother had tried to convince
him to marry, at least to save the forms.

"Mother! You know how I am, right? How can you ask me to marry? I
cannot, I don't want to."

"Kazu, I know, we know. I don't ask you to change, I don't even hope
that, nowadays. But you can marry a girl leaving you the freedom to have
your private life. You can give me, us, grandchildren, to continue the
Yamaguchi name. Look at the Suzuki girl, for instance. She is young,
beautiful, intelligent, refined. Se would be the ideal wife, for you."

"Yes, and you think she would let me have my boys as I like!" the boy
answered with barely hidden irony.

"Kazu, when your father's family chose me, the terms were clear. Noboru
had to be free to have his women as he pleased. I had to be just his
wife, not his lover. I accepted. And it has not been a bad life. We had
affection for each other, and respect. When he had to meet his mistress,
I wanted him to be elegant, impeccable. I wasn't jealous: ours was a
contract, not a love story. We both respected the contract. Your father
didn't make me miss anything, and not just on a material level. He was
near me when I was ill, with affection and sadness for my suffering. He
respected me, and esteemed me, and showed affection for me. For him I
had been, simultaneously, a friend, a sister, and the mother of his
children. His mistress was important to him, sure, but all the family
affairs he always discussed with me and no other. I was his real right
hand. And he was proud of me. I wasn't the spare wheel, and I knew that
very well, do you understand, Kazunari?"

"Mum, I didn't know you knew about father's mistress. You must have
suffered a lot for that."

"No Kazu. I told you: the terms were clearly laid down before the
marriage. So, you too can..."

"Mum, you forget an essential difference: I don't want any woman in my
bed, not even just for the time to conceive a child. I don't want to
have a wife. Absolutely not!"

"But how can you guide the family, if you have no sons to guarantee the
continuity?"

"I'll choose one of the sons of Hiroshi or of Tomoya, the best of them,
as my successor. I'll adopt him. It will not be the first time that
happened, right? But I will never have a wife."

"Kazu, think it over, please. I'm not asking you for a great sacrifice,
after all. I'm not asking you not to have your boy, or boys. But a man
needs a wife, a family. Who will take care of you, when I am dead? Who
will watch over you so that you don't miss anything? Don't you see you
need to have a wife?"

"Mum, stop it! Just think about asking Hiroshi to have sex with a man,
to get a male lover! Do you think he will comply, just because you ask
him that?"

"If it was important for the family, I believe he would be ready to do
it." his mother answered with a reproachful tone.

"Come on! I can't believe that. These aren't matters to be decided
around a table. There is he who is born in one way and he who in
another. There is he who has no problem with having sex with a man or a
woman indifferently, but there is also he who has a decided orientation,
exclusively towards one of the two sexes. As I am. Let me live in my
way, please, mum!"

"Then, probably, it would be better if you renounced your father's
place." the woman said in a mixture of grudge and hope.

"If it was he to tell me so, I'd abide. But it doesn't seem he had had
this intention, even knowing about me."

"That's true. But perhaps he hoped that, growing up, you would have
changed. I don't know, we didn't have time to talk about that. We didn't
think he would have left so soon. But it is true, he was counting on
you. Your father loved you, even if he didn't accept your sexual
orientation. Rather, he couldn't accept it, because he loved you and he
would have liked to see you as he had always dreamed about you. But, if
not for me, if not for the family, at least for your father..."

"He is dead, mum. And anyway, even if he was to ask me that, I would
have answered him as I'm answering you, mum. What can I do? Kill myself?
If that's what I have to do..."

"Don't be silly and melodramatic! You are just eighteen, there is no
hurry. Just think about what I said to you, I ask you nothing else. Will
you do that? At least, will you do that?"

"I really don't believe anything will change, but I'll do it."

Michiko never again resumed that argument and, little by little had
resigned herself. She thought that perhaps the solution was just what
Kazunari had proposed: to adopt one of his brothers sons making him his
successor and heir. But deep in her heart she had hoped that Kazunari
would leave the family, would renounce being a yakuza. Because she was
afraid to lose him one day, as she had lost her husband. Because
Kazunari was too good hearted, honest, sensitive to be a real yakuza
leader. Even if the boy made all efforts to appear a tough man,
succeeding also, in front of the others, she knew he was different. On
that point Kazunari resembled neither his father, nor herself.

Michiko had bought a thermal baths resort just in front of Mount Fuji,
in a wonderful position, thinking of refurbishing it completely and
making it a meeting point for all the beau-monde of the nation,
politicians, industrials, sportsmen and artists, hoping that one day
Kazunari could go to manage it, leaving in that way the yakuza world.
But when she had hinted that to her son, they almost quarrelled.
Kazunari didn't want to hear about it. And it was right after that
occasion, almost to confirm his decision not to leave the yakuza world,
that he had all his body tattooed in the most traditional yakuza way.
And the spa, not refurbished, remained just one of the several
possessions of the family, scattered throughout the nation, managed by
one of their men, giving a good income even if less than what they could
have had.

Now Michiko was worried for the sudden changing of her son's attitude.
She understood that something worried him, but there wasn't enough
confidence and intimacy between them to understand what it was, to ask
him about it. There never had been intimacy between he and her children,
a part her daughter Naoko. Intimacy between a man and a woman was
something foreign to Japanese tradition, and even more in the yakuza
tradition which, in the Japanese society, represented the most
traditional point.

Hiroshi married the girl she had chosen for him, in a sumptuous ceremony
that reunited all the top names of the most influential yakuza families
of Japan. Kazunari did the honours of the house in a really faultless
way. The presence of so many famous names, and the entity of the gifts,
marked in an clear and unequivocal way the importance that the Yamaguchi
had reached at a national level. And the buttonhole flower was the
complete control of the Mazuda International, where Nakamura remained
General Manager, and of which Kazunari made Hiroshi President as
marriage gift. Hiroshi's wife came from the Suzuki family and brought as
a dowry the control of a strong and sound navigation company,
strengthening even more the Yamaguchis power.

Tomoya had resumed a good relationship with Kazunari and had finally
been told about his brother's hopeless love for Jun. Tomoya told him
that he had fallen in love with a model. He wanted to marry her, but was
afraid his mother would oppose it. Kazunari asked to be introduced to
the girl; if he liked her, he would have help Tomoya to make his dream
real. Tomoya was really grateful to his brother, and so thought to thank
him in the best of the ways. He had to meet the boy Kazunari was in love
with. So he went to look for him at the University and succeeded in
finding him.

"You are Takeda Jun, right?" he asked the boy, approaching him.

"Yes, that's right. Why?" Jun asked him astounded to be stopped and
recognized by a stranger.

"I am Yamaguchi Tomoya, Kazunari's brother."

"He sent you?" Jun asked, his heart in turmoil.

"No. He doesn't even know I came to meet you. And I don't want him to
know. But I had to talk to you. Would you please come with me?"

"All right." Jun answered, with anxiety.

They got onto Tomoya's motorbike and drove out of town to the river
park.

"What did you want to tell me, then?" Jun asked as they went out of the
bike.

"About you two. Kazunari is in love with you, seriously."

"Did he tell you so?"

"We open our hearts to each other, completely. Yes, he told me so. He
thinks of you day and night. He misses you, terribly."

"I too miss him... so much..."

"But do you love him for real?"

"Yes, I love him. I too can do nothing but think about him, constantly."

"So, then, why don't you decide to be together?"

"Can I speak to you with an open heart? Without you becoming upset for
what I'll tell you?" Jun hesitantly asked.

Tomoya looked at him: this boy... he liked him instinctively. He
understood how his brother could be in love with Jun. "Talk." he just
said.

The were walking side by side, slowly. Jun started to talk, quietly, and
told him all he felt for Kazunari, his fears, his hesitations.

"So, you don't like us yakuza, this is the problem, right?" Tomoya asked
with an amused smile.

"No, not you or him... the idea. The fear I could one day cry on his
corpse like your mother and you have mourned your father."

"This didn't prevent my mother from marrying my father, because she is a
strong woman. Are you a week man? Or perhaps you don't really love my
brother that much? Even if, in fact,  my brother has to meet my father's
same death, would not you want to give him, at least until that day, the
happiness he is dreaming about? The happiness only you can give him?"

"He will find another, more suitable than me, stronger than me." Jun
said in a dismissive tone.

"But he wants you, not another. He is really in love, I know him well.
Why do you refuse to make him happy, if you really love him? Are you
weaker than our women? I can't believe that, or else Kazu wouldn't be so
much in love with you. So what is it then? I'm sorry but I really can't
understand you."

"You love Kazunari, right?" Jun asked looking at the boy with a
fondness, this boy who was one year younger but who seemed more adult
than him.

Tomoya looked at him with a funny look: "Sure I love him. He is the best
of all of us. He is an exceptional man, really exceptional."

"I know. Just, perhaps, I'm not the right person for him. Just,
perhaps..."

"He doesn't think so. Don't you think that his opinion, on this matter,
has more value than yours? Why don't you accept being happy with him? Do
you think he wouldn't be able to make you happy?"

"Oh no, of course he would be. Even if I would live in anguish, he would
make me happy. Do you know that each time they say a man has been killed
in the newspapers, or on the TV News, my heart stops until I know it is
not him? Do you understand that?"

"Sure, I understand, even if it seems to me a little too much... But
then, I think: if now, you feel so distressed, worrying about him
anyway, why not have at least in exchange the joy of being with him?
What is the sense in taking just the heaviest part of the love you feel
for him? I'm sorry to speak to you so bluntly, but... aren't you stupid?
If you have to be worried, isn't it better near him, with him?"

Jun looked at him rather amazed: he had never thought about that point.
It was as if a veil had opened in front of him. Now he clearly saw,
clearly understood that he couldn't do anything but unconditionally
surrender to the love he felt for Kazunari, including the fear he could
lose him in a tragic way. Tomoya was looking at him with an
interrogative air, quietly waiting for an answer to his final
observation. Jun nodded several times, thinking about the other's words,
so right.

"Thank you, Tomoya. I think you are right. How can I thank you for
opening my eyes?"

"By going to see Kazunari, telling him you love him, you want to be his
boy, you accept him as he is, you accept his lifestyle..."

"Yes, it's right. Where is he now? At home?"

"No, he is on our yacht, at the port, having it renovated. If you go
immediately, you'll found him there. The Yacht is the Sadamaru, it is
white and anchored at the dock three. Go."

"Yes, I fly!" Jun said excited, running towards the park exit.

"Take a taxi. And don't tell him we met, of course, please!" Tomoya
shouted to him, satisfied.

Kazunari went up the yacht bridge discussing with the engineer the work
to be done, when he saw Jun walking on the dock. He hastily dismissed
the man, giving him an appointment for the following day, he took from
his pocket his cellular and called his bodyguards warning them not to
stop the boy wearing a blue and green quilted jacket. And waited in
anxiety. Jun climbed hesitantly the narrow gangway, where he passed the
engineer who was leaving, and, arriving at the bridge, he was in front
of Kazunari. He stopped, trying to find the right words to say. They
looked at each other, in silence, then Kazunari asked him, with a low
voice:

"Who told you I was here?"

"I was just passing in the port, and I saw you... Is it yours?" the boy
lied hoping the other could believe his weak excuse.

"Yes. Do you want to visit it?"

"Yes."

"Come."

They went down the wooden ladder and Kazunari turned around to start to
explain, but stopped, dumbfounded. Jun was looking at him with glossy
eyes, as he was about crying.

"What's up, Jun?" he kindly asked.

"I love you, I want to be yours, forever."

"You want...?" Kazunari almost stammered.

"I cannot live without you. Do you still want me with you?"

"But... and your fears? and my life?"

"I don't care, it's all right. Take me with you, please!"

"Oh, Jun! Come!" Kazunari said moved, opening his arms and going toward
the boy.

Jun took shelter in those arms and murmured with a broken and weak
voice: "Forgive me, Kazu-chan, forgive me. I want to be yours."

Kazunari lifted him holding him against his body, in his arms with
force, then said full of emotion: "I'll never let you go away again,
never again. You are mine! No, I'll never again let you go!" and he
kissed him.

Jun, quivering from head to toes, opened his man's trousers, took in his
hands his member already turgid and whispered full of passion: "Take me,
please, take me, make me yours!"

"Come out there..."

"No, please, here, immediately. I want you in me!" the boy insisted,
lowering with feverish moves his own trousers and loosening his
fundoshi.

Then Kazunari took him in his arms, lifted him and carried him to a
small table fixed to the floor, where he deposited him.

"I don't have the gel, here..." the young man said, pulling off the
boy's trousers.

"Who cares?" Jun answered bringing his legs to his chest and offering
himself to the young man.

Kazunari knelt in front of him and started to prepare him, rimming Jun's
sweet hole with his tongue. The boy was all a quiver, felt all aflame,
and felt really happy. Kazunari stood up again and started to penetrate
his boy. Jun received him with such a grateful and radiant smile; it
deeply moved the young man. He pushed his pulsating rod against the
puckered hole. A light contraction on Jun face make him stop and stand
still:

"I'm hurting you," he said, worried.

"Yes, but... I don't care... Push, I'll get used to... I want you
completely in me!"

Kazunari, controlling his enormous desire, trying to move so as not to
hurt the boy too much, encouraged by the evident desire with which his
beloved wanted him inside, sank completely into the boy's tight and warm
channel. Then, he started to slowly rock his pelvis back and forward in
steady pushes until he he saw the blissful expression of the boy he
loved, until he saw his warm and sweet smile. Then Kazunari let himself
go in a passionate ride that brought both of them to the seventh sky.
Nothing more now dimmed the joy which manifested itself in all its
intensity in the enraptured expressions of the two lovers. Jun was all a
throb and the pleasure he was feeling was so intense as to make him
shiver. And the boy's pleasure communicated itself to the young man who
felt drunk, ravished, and dazed by this unhoped for, marvellous union.

They reached orgasm together, moaning loudly, without restraint, their
pleasure. Then Jun, lightly caressing his man's sides from under the
clothes he was still wearing, said sweetly:

"I still need you... take me to your cabin now, will you?"

Kazunari took him in his arms, walking awkwardly because of his half
lowered trousers, opened the door with his foot and, leaning, deposited
him on the berth. He rose up to free himself from his jacket and shirt
while Jun, sitting on the berth, leaned over to suck with pleasure the
still erected member, tattooed like a snake, of his lover. The young man
finished undressing himself, then completely undressed the boy. Then,
climbing on the berth beside Jun, took his face in his hands, kissed
him, than said, seriously:

"If you are to be my boyfriend, I want one thing from you."

"All you want, Kazu-chan." Jun answered happily.

"You have to take me."

"I? You?" the boy asked astounded.

"Yes, you, me. Nobody in my life penetrated me. Because I have never
permitted that to anyone. But I want you to do it. Because you are
special to me."

"It's not necessary Kazu. I'm happy this way..."

"And, don't you want to also make me happy?"

"Yes, but... I could hurt you, probably." Jun murmured.

"I'll get used to... and I'll like it. You are not one of the many boys
I took solely for my own pleasure. You are my lover, that's why I want
to feel you in me. And then... you seem so happy when you welcome me in
you that... I too want to feel that same happiness. Take me, please..."

Jun did what his man asked him. And when the boy started to penetrate
his lover, he felt an intense intoxication, rapture, elation, equalled
only by the joyful expression shining on Kazunari's face.

"Do you like it, love?" Jun asked, already knowing the answer.

"I can't hope for anything better than this! You are so strong, and you
are making me yours..."

"Do I hurt you? I'm not too big?" Jun asked sinking in him a little
more, with caution.

"No... that is... a little, but I love to feel you in me. Now you are no
longer my boy, but my man, do you understand?"

"Do you love me?"

"So much! And yet not as much as you love me."

"Why do you say that? It isn't true!"

"Yes, you accepted me. I couldn't do what you desired from me. I didn't
leave my life, for you..."

"Don't talk about that any more. Just remember to love me, I don't ask
you for anything more than that. Never let me miss your love, please."

"It will not be possible. You are making of me the happiest man in this
world. I could never renounce this happiness. Let me feel all your love
rod, my love, please..."

Jun pushed again until he was completely and firmly sheathed in the warm
intimate channel of his man. Kazunari emitted a light delighted sigh and
said with sweet avidity, with a low and warm voice: "Go on!" Then the
boy started to swing and sway his pelvis with a set of light strokes, in
a going and coming, little by little more firm and determined as he saw
the joy depicted in the depth of his man's eyes. They made love for a
long while, with calm and pleasure, with kindness and vigour, with
energy and delicacy at the same time. When with excited emotion they
reached a frenzied and wonderful orgasm, they relaxed tenderly embraced,
without yet parting their bodies.

"How late can you stay with me?" Kazunari asked him sweetly, feeling
happy.

"As long as you want me with you."

"I want you forever. I would like you to live with me."

"All right. I will live with you."

"You must tell your family... What will you say them?"

"I'm going to live with my friend."

"Won't they find that strange?"

"Who cares."

"They can guess, understand..."

"I don't care. Only you are important to me."

"They could make a tragedy out of that..."

"I'll be sorry for them. About me, if you want me with you, I'll be with
you at any cost. You come before all. Rather... give me your cellular,
please."

Kazunari quite unwillingly parted from him, searched his jacket on the
floor and handed him his cellular. Jun dialed a number.

"Mister Takeda, please. I am his son."

"You are calling your father? At his work place?" Kazunari asked,
astounded.

Jun nodded yes, waiting to have his father on line.

"Father, I'm Jun... No, nothing serious, but important... Yes, sure...
No, I have to tell you now... Well, see, I've decided that from now on I
will live with a friend... No, father, a male friend... Because I feel
right with him, so I want to live with him... No, sure I was well with
you. But now I want to live with him... We will talk about that when
I'll come to bid farewell to you and to collect my things... Yes,
father, you're right... I'm sorry, father.... We don't need to..." Jun
said serious, then turned toward Kazunari, giving him his telephone: "He
cut the line."

"Was he upset?" Kazunari asked, worried.

"Yes. He understood." the boy answered quietly.

"About you and me..." the young man asked widening his eyes.

"Sure. It's over." Jun said serene, smiling to him.

"I'm sorry..." Kazunari said caressing him.

"I'm not. Sooner or later that had to come out, right? It is better
soon, so I don't need to use subterfuge, to tell lies. So... now I'm
really all yours. Will you take me to your little flat?"

"Yes, sure. When you want I'll take you to your home to get your
belongings. Anyway you will miss nothing, with me."

"Well, let's give my family the time to get used to the news. In two or
three days, perhaps. Meanwhile, if you can lend me something of yours to
just change my clothes..." Jun said with a sweet smile.

"They will be a little too wide, my clothes..."

"The actual fashion for kids is to wear too wide clothes, you know? I
will be more trendy." Jun answered merrily.

They dressed. While Jun was tieing his red fundoshi, Kazunari asked him:

"Don't you ever wear other kinds of underpants? It's strange, a young
boy wearing under his jeans a fundoshi."

"If you don't like it, I'll stop wearing it."

"No, on the contrary, you are even more sexy with them. I'm just a
little amazed. I would like to understand why."

"I just find them more comfortable, and they keep it in its place."

"But if you need to pee, it is rather uneasy, right?"

"Not at all. I just have to do so..." Jun said demonstrating him how.

"Put it back, or you'll make me want to do it again..." Kazunari said
jokingly and both continued to dress.

Jun brushed, slightly embarrassed, some sperm stains, almost dry, on his
quilted cloth jacket and giggled when Kazunari realized what those
stains were.

"I'll buy you a new one..." the young man thoughtfully said.

"It's enough to dry clean it, I presume. Can we go?"

"Wait. First I want you to meet my factotum. His name is Soda. He is a
good man and he knows everything about me. He protects me and from now
on he has to protect you too. So it's better if you meet now."

These words brusquely brought Jun's feet back down to earth. Sure, this
will be his life from now on. He had to get used to that. But he had by
this time made his choice. Kazunari called Soda with his cellular. In a
short while the man was coming on board. Kazunari introduced them, then
said:

"Soda, Jun is my lover. I hold you responsible for his safety. If you
need to, take another couple of men just for him. And remember, any of
his desires are like they are my desires, understood? Only for safety
reasons can you deny him what he asks you."

"Sure, boss. But... how do I have to address to him?"

"Takeda-san, of course. How would you call him? What stupid questions
you have, at times, Soda!" Kazunari said, but he contradicted his words
hardness with a smile.

"I... please excuse me..." the man said, confused.

"Now we are going to my apartment. Get him a cellular as soon as
possible, and put in the phone memory my number, and yours. And also
have someone bring up a good lunch, we are hungry. Ah, and for the house
cleaning, just plan with Jun the new schedule so he will not be
bothered, since it will be from now on his home."

"Sure, boss. Don't worry." Soda said and after a bow, went out of the
yacht.

"You can thrust Soda blindly.  And it would be better if you follow his
advise. He knows his job very well. He will also introduce you to the
boys he will choose as your body guards."

"I don't need..." Jun said slightly confused.

"Yes, my love, it's a need. You have to become accustomed to all that,
living with me. We will always have two discrete shadows, near us."

"But I came here without..."

"I saw you coming, so I gave the order to let you come, or for sure you
would not have been able to reach even just the gangway, be sure. Also
the other times we had been together there were always my men to protect
me."

"So... they already knew all about us?"

"Are you sorry?"

"No. I just didn't guess that. You cannot have a private life, your
secrets..."

"I have my private life, and my secrets. Those men are used to not
talking about what they see and what they know, with anybody. Like the
three monkeys. Even with my mother they don't tell about my private
life, even though,  in fact it is from her they earn their pay. They are
really trustworthy. And also your men, those Soda will choose, will be
as trustworthy, so you have not to worry. I'm sorry Jun, I understand
that you are not used to this way of living, but..."

"I'll get used to it, as this is the only way I can live near you." the
boy said emphatically, with a ghost of a sweet smile.

Kazunari embraced him and repeated he was sorry.

In fact, if for Jun this was the first time he could start to understand
what really was Kazunari's life, also Kazunari, for the first time, was
becoming fully aware of what he was asking to his boy to accept. And he
was grateful to Jun for his capitulation without recrimination, without
discussion. And told himself he was really lucky to have found such a
lover.

He accompanied Jun to his pied a terre and explained to him all the
comforts with which his little apartment was supplied.

Soda come with the lunch boxes, the cellular for Jun and two boys that
he introduced to Jun as his bodyguards, and informed him that the two
boys would be living in the apartment near his own, at his disposal, and
that he should never to go out without calling them, nor should he
receive anybody without first informing them. Jun nodded yes. Kazunari
gave them some other orders, then the three men went out, leaving Jun
and Kazunari alone. They ate. Jun was slightly tense and Kazunari
noticed that.

"My love, all this is too burdensome for you?" he hesitantly asked.

"I just have to get used to that... surveilled freedom..." Jun said
trying to appear careless.

"How can I make all this burden less heavy?"

"Making love with me."

"Again?" the young man jokingly asked.

"Are you still tired?" the boy provoked him.

"Not at all, I'm ready, every time you desire it!"

"Will you always sleep here with me?"

"Really always, will be difficult. But as much as I can, I promise you.
Just... at times I have to travel..."

"And... you can't take me with you?"

"Not always. Believe me, love, I desire to be near you as much as you
desire it. And I will be with you whenever possible. And when it will
not be possible, it will be ordeal like death, for me too..."

"Would you please take me to the other room?" Jun asked with grace.

"No, this is your home, now. So it is for me to ask you. Would you take
me to the other room, please?"

Jun stood up, took his man's hand and guided him to the near room. He
made the bed come out and started to undress his lover.

"You learned fast how to pull out the bed, I see." Kazunari said
smiling.

"Who knows how many boys you brought to it, before me..."

"Too many. But just you... you are worth more than all them together.
Because I love you. I love you so much. All the others don't exist any
more, believe me."

They again started to make love, forgetful of everything and of
everyone.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 5

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In my home page I've put some of my stories. If someone wants to read
them, the URL is

http://www.geocities.com/~andrejkoymasky/

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