Date: Mon, 3 Nov 2008 18:01:11 -0800
From: travis paul <travisderon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Golden-Gay beginnings-Chapter 4

Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story, however I may have drawn ideas from
actual events, but I have asked for permission first of course. If you are
not of age or find this type of material offensive or illegal, then I ask
you to please abstain from reading it. Also if you have any questions,
concerns, or comments of any kind please don't hesitate to email me. I
would love to hear you guys thoughts on the story.

Please join us at the Yahoo Group...for discussion of the story, as well as
other stories by this author and  other great authors.

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_____________________________________________________________

.Chapter 4.
The Breakdown Part II

I raced to the office as quick as I could. I was pushing 65 in a
residential zone, but I didn't care. All I could do was think about the
call. With that one call my whole future, everything that I've worked for
could be wiped out just like that. I pushed on the gas pedal harder,
increasing my speed and ignoring the street signs. Leo was cautioning me to
go slower but I ignored him as well, I had to save my business. I had to
save my father's legacy. I sped pass the light that was slowly turning to
yellow and pulled to the side of the building and put my car in park, I
think, and ran into the building. I raced to the elevator and pressed the
up button repeatedly and waited impatiently for the elevator to come
down. The ding finally sounded, alerting me that the elevator has
arrived. I walked in and pressed the 10 button and waited for the doors to
close. Just as the door was closing Leo stuck his arm in the middle,
causing the door to open again.

"Damn it Leo hurry up." I snapped, not meaning to take my frustration out
on him. He rushed into the elevator and the doors closed behind him. He
wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to his chest.

"Don't worry baby, we will find some way to fix this." He whispered
soothingly into my ear. "I won't let you lose your company." I hugged him
back.

God I wanted to believe him.

I closed my eyes and let the phone call replay in my head.
_______________________

"Hello?" She answered on the first ring.

"Michelle what the hell is going on?" I yelled, not on purpose of course,
"What's wrong with my company?"

"It's not good Mr. Brooks." She said shakily.

"Just please tell it to me straight...I need to know." I pleaded with her.

"Someone, and identified threat, is buying out the shares of your company."
She stated.

"Is it...Faith?" I asked nervously.

"There's a big possibility that its her sir. What shall I do?" She asked.

"Wait till I get there," I yelled into the phone. "Take evasive action
until I arrive. Do everything you can to stop this thing or at least hold
it off until I get there." I finished slamming the phone down on its
receiver, not waiting on her reply.

The stake of my father's company was on the line.  _______________________

I was still in Leo's arms and things hadn't changed. My company was still
being taken over and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Leo I'm scared." I whispered.

He hugged me tighter. "I know baby, I promise you everything will be
fine. Your strong, your father wouldn't have entrusted his company to you
if he didn't believe in you." He kissed me on the forehead. "Hey and for
what its worth. I believe in you too."

I looked up into his onyx eyes and smiled. I whispered a `thank you' before
kissing him on the lips softly. I really do appreciate him. He knows just
what to say to make me feel better. The elevator sounded alerting us that
we had reached our floor, and my imminent doom. Leo reached down to lace
his hands with mine and squeezed it gently, reassuring me. We exited the
elevator and made our way to my office. I didn't bother knocking, it was my
office, and just barged in to see Michelle yelling at someone through the
phone.

I walked closer making my presence known, just as she yelled an order into
the phone and slammed it down on the receiver.

"What new information do we have?" I asked sounding a little rude.

"Well sir we have identified the threat." She said cautiously.

"And?" Leo said speaking up. I still held his hand tightly in my own. It
was like he was giving me strength and it was flowing from his body to
mine.

"I think he should sit down." She said ignoring the question. "I think you
both should sit down." I was going to protest but I felt Leo tug at my hand
to follow him to the chairs. We sat down on the sofa and he put his arm
around me and pulled me close to his body.

"Michelle who the hell is stealing my company?" I demanded.

"Angel Enterprise." She stated, "Or shall I say Angel Castillo."

My blood ran cold and I could have sworn that I paled at least three
shades.

"Angel?" I whispered almost inaudibly. Leo glanced at me like had seen a
ghost.

"Golden that can't be the same..."

I nodded my head. "But it is...who else could it...how...why?" I
murmured. "Angel?"

Michelle glanced between Leo and I, obviously in confusion. "Mr. Brooks
just who is this Angel guy. It seems as if you know him personally."

I looked up at her with dead eyes. "He was...my friend and...my first
love."

Michelle immediately retreated back to the desk leaving Leo and I to absorb
this new information.

I was still in shock. It couldn't be Angel...how did he...why now after all
these years...I just can't handle this right now. I hadn't noticed, but my
breathing was becoming irregular again and my heart was beating a thousand
beats per minute. Leo looked over at me with concern.

I couldn't breathe. Why was this happening to me?

Leo's hand began rubbing my back in a circular motion. "Baby calm
down...please." I whispered softly. "We can't afford for you to have
another panic attack. Just relax and breathe...let me take care of all
this...this situation. You don't have to see him again if you don't want."
His words seemed to have a calming effect and my breathing slowly returned
to normal. I looked up into his onyx eyes and smiled.

"Thanks baby...you always know just what to say to make me feel better." I
whispered and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Yes...okay...please bring him in...thank you." Michelle said speaking to
someone on the phone. She nodded her head and murmured a few more words
into the phone before hanging up.

Leo stood up and I followed him. "What was all that about? Bring who in?"

Michelle turned around and adjusted her glasses. Before she could respond
the door opened and in walked Angel. His eyes immediately locked with mine
and in that moment...they was no denying it...it was Angel. His eyes never
left mine, in fact he hadn't even bothered to acknowledge anyone else in
the room. We just stood there staring at each in our own little world. I
tired to look away, but that's the thing about Angel...once I looked into
his eyes...I was hooked. It amazed and scared me that even after all this
time...he still had that power over me. Even with my boyfriend standing
next to me, Angel was the only one I saw in the room. He smiled at me and
winked. I felt like I was in high school all over again...nothing has
changed...nothing at all.

"W-What are y-you doing here?" I asked trying to sound confident but
failing miserably.

He walked over towards me without breaking eye contact. He walked passed
Leo as if he wasn't there and stood in front of me. "Well isn't it
obvious?"

I shook my head no.

He leaned in close to me and I thought he was going to kiss me, and for a
second he might have. To my relief he didn't kiss me. Instead he leaned
forward so that his lips were next to my ear...touching it slightly and
sending shivers up and down my spine. He whispered softly in my ear, his
Spanish accent rough. "You...I came back for you."

My eyes widened.

He kissed my ear softly and retreated towards the door.

"Oh and don't worry about your corporation." He said from the doorway. "It
was just an excuse. I don't want your company. I've got my eyes set on
something a little more...valuable." He smiled one last time in my
direction before exiting the office.

I could feel Leo and Michelle's eyes on me, but I couldn't see them...I
couldn't see anything. Everything was dark.

Again.  _______________________

I awoke with a headache and the room was dark. I looked around and noticed
that I was in my office and the windows were covered. I rarely had the
windows covered because the office would be too dark, but right now
darkness was welcomed with open arms. I sat up on the sofa and looked down
at the table to see a note, a glass of water, and a pill. I reached for the
note first.

Golden, Thought you might need these. Be back soon, just tying up some
loose ends.
				-Leo-

I put the note down and reached for the pill and water. I swallowed the
pill and water and laid back down on the sofa. I tried not to think of what
happened earlier, but as hard as I tried, the memories would just come back
harder. I tried to make myself believe that I imagined or dreamed it...but
the feelings were a reality. Seeing Angel again after all these years...was
just too much. I was finally starting to get my life back on track after
the death of my parents, and then this happens. I feel like I'm the star of
my own soap opera.

The Golden Days.

I laughed a little at the corniness of it all. Maybe I was losing my
mind. No, I'm pretty sure I was losing my mind.

The image of Angel kissing my ear flashed before my eyes.

I sat up quickly throwing the covers to the side in the process.

Why?

After all these years. After everything that he put me through...why come
back...why now?

"You...I came back for you."

Those words kept playing in my head over and over. The image of his face
changed from the present to the past and the words merged into one voice.

"I came back..."

I shook my head trying to get rid of all the noise. It didn't help, in fact
the noise seemed to intensify.  I rose from the sofa and tried to walk but
my legs felt like jell-o and the room was spinning into a blur. I took
another step forward. Angel stood in front of me. Or maybe it was my
imagination. Rage. I felt nothing but rage as I stared at him. I took
another step closer. I had to reach him. I had to tell him how much I hated
him and how much I wanted him out of my life. But the one thing I wanted to
know...the one thing that I had to know first...was why? I reached my hand
out and grasped his shirt. I fell to my knees and he fell with me. I
started crying. He held me in his arms and I didn't protest...didn't
yell...didn't scream...I just cried. I did murmur one word. The only word
that came to mind. The word that held so much power yet, yielded no
results.

"Why?"

My question went unanswered.  I cried myself back to sleep, in his arms.

_______________________

When I awoke again I was back on the sofa and Leo was sitting in front on
me with a towel in his hand that he was using to pat my face. I smiled
weakly up at him. He smiled back. I tried to sit up but Leo put his hand on
my chest and gently push me back down.

"You need your rest."

I shook my head no, "I'm fine Leo...really."

He gave me a disbelieving look. "I just want you to rest. You've been
through a lot baby I just...I just don't want anything--"

He was crying. I reached my hand up to wipe his tears away. "Please...don't
cry."

He leaned into my hand and with his own held it there. "Its okay baby...I
just don't want anything to happen to you."

"As long as I have you I will be just fine." I whispered to him. He leaned
down to kiss me. Softly at first but it quickly turned into something
more. He laid on top of me so that his body was pressing hard against
mine. I could feel his need and desire pour from his lips into my body. The
kiss got more intense as his hands roamed over my body and my hands found
their way under his shirt caressing the smooth skin. I ran my hand over his
nipples and he let out a moan. I pushed my tongue past his lips and into
his mouth, to which he laughed a little, but soon caught on and began to
kiss back with just a much force.

Angel.

"Get off!" I yelled pushing him off me forcefully causing him to fall off
to the side.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He yelled once he got to his feet.

I jumped off the sofa and looked around. He had to be here. It wasn't a
dream. He was here!

Under the desk. No.

In the closet.  Damn it.

Where was he?

Leo just stood around looking at me like I was crazy and maybe I was, but I
knew he was here. I touched his shirt. He held me in his arms. He couldn't
just disappear into thin air. People don't just disappear!

"What are you looking for?"

I just ignored him mumbling something about having to find him. Where was
he?!

Under the desk? No.

In the closet?  Damn it.

Leo walked over to me and stood in front of me blocking me off. "What's
gotten into you? Your walking around like some crazy person mumbling
something about finding him. Who is him? Who are you trying to find?"

I looked up into his face and my eyes widened with terror. I was going
crazy. Angel was driving me crazy. I was breaking down slowly. With just
his presence, he was driving me insane. I couldn't let this happen to me. I
had to be strong. What about Miles? He needed me to be strong and here I
was acting like I belonged in an asylum.

You...I came back for you

I stormed pass Leo and started walking towards the door. He ran after me
and grabbed my arm turning me around to face him.

"Where are you going? What's wrong with you...talk to me...please." His
eyes were full of tears that looked like they would fall at any moment. I
gently removed my arm from his grip and that only seemed to hurt him even
more. I'm so sorry. It killed me to know that I was hurting him so much. I
didn't want him to cry because of me. I didn't deserve it. He was too good
to me. My heart was breaking. I walked towards him and hugged him
softly. He reluctantly hugged me back. I looked up into his eyes and saw so
much hurt, that I was tempted to stay, but I had to do this. I had to
confront him by myself. Leo wouldn't understand and would want to come with
me. I kissed him softly, barely touching his lips. I had to go now, while I
still had the strength to go through with it. I broke away from Leo and
back up towards the door.

"I'm sorry..." My voice was cracking and I didn't know if I could finish my
sentence. " It's just...I need to...do this on my own. Its not that I don't
trust you...because I do...its just if I want this...this nightmare to be
over...I have to confront him...and I have to do it alone..."

"Your going to see Angel aren't you." He wasn't asking but I nodded my head
anyway. "You do realize that he wants you back." Again I nodded. He wasn't
even looking at me anymore. "Fine." And with that he walked pass me and out
the door. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I should have ran after him;
try to mend the situation, but I didn't. And I knew sooner or later I would
regret that.

I tuned around and walked out the door and back into the past.
_______________________

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Michelle's number.  She picked up on
the second ring.

"Hello"

"Michelle I'm sorry to bug you at a time like this," I said looking at my
watch. It was 9:25pm. "I just wanted to know if you had the contact
information about Angel Enterprise. I need the address to the branch here."

She hesitated for a moment. "Y-yes sir I will have the directions uploaded
to your PDA."

"Thank you Michelle."

"No problem sir."

I hung up the phone and two minutes later the directions came through. I
updated my driver on the address and within a few minutes we were off to my
destination. Or my doom.  ________________________

About an hour and a half later the limo came to a stop in front of a large
building, not as big as my office, but still massive in size. On the
outside of the building in big letters were ANGEL ENTERPRISE.

I guess I was at the right place.

My driver stepped around to my door and opened it for me to get out. I
smiled and thanked him before walking towards the entrance. I felt kind of
out of place seeing that I wore a pair of cargo pants and a nice button up
shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my forearm. Still, heading into a
building and being surrounded by people in business attire made me feel a
little self conscious.  I shrugged it off. I wasn't here to make an
impression. What I came here for was strictly business. Nothing else.

I walked through the large revolving doors and into the building. There
wasn't too many people here and for that I was thankful. It was eleven at
night after all, but I was pretty sure Angel was still there. I walked up
to the front desk and the receptionist smiled at me in a flirtatious
manner. I was used to women throwing themselves at me because of the money
and my position as head of my own corporation. I just smiled back, just to
be polite.

"I'm sorry sir but our office hours are no longer in effect, but if there
is anything that you want personally I may be of some assistance." She said
stressing the word personally. She wasn't my type. I was into someone a
little more testosteroney. I know its not a word but I'm notorious for
making up words. I laughed inwardly at my own joke. Yeah definitely going
crazy.

"Actually there is something you can do for me." I said and saw her perk up
at my response. Poor thing she must of thought that I was going to as for
her number or something. Sorry. "Is Angel still in the building? Its
imperative that I speak with him as soon as possible."

She looked at me like I had killed her dog. "Actually he is still here,
however, he isn't available to speak with you at the moment." She reached
into her desk and brought out a pen and paper. "If you record your message
I will see to it that he gets it." She wasn't even giving me eye contact
anymore. Was she really that desperate?

"On second thought," I said walking over to the wall. I quickly scanned the
index until I found what I was looking for. "I don't need you after all. I
found what I was looking for." I walked over to the elevator and pressed
the `up' button.

"Y-you can't do that!" She yell at me. "I'll call security."

The elevator pinged open and I walked in and pressed the 8 button. The
doors were slowly closing but I thought I would piss her off a little
more. "Call em..." I smirked and her face wrinkled up into a scowl. If I
thought she wasn't attractive before...

The doors to the elevator closed and I rested against the wall thinking
about how I was going to do this. The ride was short and when the doors
opened on the eighth floor I couldn't help but wish I had more time to
think about all this. I walked forward on shaky legs trying to remember how
to walk. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I stopped for a
second to get my mind right. I took deep breaths to level out my
breathing. Once I was okay I walked closer to the clouded glass doors and
put my hand on the handle.

Its now or never.

I opened the doors and stepped through. I glanced around the room. It was
kind of ordinary. A large desk. White walls, white carpet, white chairs,
and large windows with...white drapes. I started to step forward but a
voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Take off your shoes first." The voice came from the chair behind the desk
that faced away from me.

Angel.

Without hesitation I did as I was told. Angel spun around in his chair and
his eyes locked with mine instantly. He laced his hands in front of his
face casually. Slowly I was being pulled forward with just his eyes and
before I knew what I was doing, I was sitting in the seat across from him.

Silence engulfed the office.

"While I appreciate your eagerness to see me, you could have done it in a
way that wouldn't have resulted in the cops being called." He said nothing
bothering to look away from my eyes. I looked away from his eyes and for
the first time since I've seen him, I took in his appearance. The years
have been good to him. The last time I've seen him was the beginning of our
senior year of high school. Since then his naturally wavy hair has grown
and was now at his shoulders framing his strong face. His buttoned up shirt
clung to his body showing off his muscular arms and chest nicely. His shirt
was unbuttoned a few buttons exposing his hard chest. I think I licked my
lips. I don't know. I let my eyes travel a little lower toward the bulge in
his pants. That's where I drew the line. I quickly returned my gaze back to
his face to see him still staring at me like nothing happened. It was
making me slightly uncomfortable.  Why was he just staring?

Then he smirked. Why was he smirking. What did I do to make him smirk?

"I knew sooner or later you would come to see me." He said it so
nonchalantly.

"Don't flatter yourself."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It was worth a try."

Why was he acting so...indifferent? It was pissing me off.

I sat up and slammed my hands on the desk. "Would you stop acting so
indifferent!"

He shrugged his shoulders again. "Okay."

I rolled my eyes. "Look I came here to talk."

"So...talk."

"Why are you here...why are you back...and cut the businessman act because
we both know that's not you!" I yelled. It wasn't him. The Angel I knew
from high school was a troublemaker. Always in trouble with the teachers,
being suspended, hell he almost came close to being expelled. So this
little act he was putting on, this businessman persona, was all fake. And
for that reason alone...I had the feeling that he was up to something. And
I didn't like that I was a part of his little plan. I was a fool once...not
again.

He reached up to his neck and pulled at his tie, loosening it, and
unbuttoned his shirt a little more. "Okay then...if that's what you
want...I'll be happy to give it to you." He stood up and walked around the
table and leaned against it a few inches away from me.  He crossed his arms
over his broad chest and looked down at me.

Silence.

I looked around the office, anything was better than looking at him right
now. All I wanted was answers to my questions. Answers that only he could
give me. I guess I would never get those answers huh? I pushed back with my
chair and stood up. There was no use staying here. I was tired of the back
and forth. I'm not doing this anymore.

I started to walk towards the door. Angel stop being my problem a long time
ago and nothing has changed.

"Why you leavin?" I heard him say from behind me. I stopped and turned
around.

"Oh so now that I'm leaving you want to act right..." I sighed "...I guess
some things never change." I turned around and walked out the door. That
should have been the end of the conversation but he followed me out the
door to his office.

"You came back for answers huh? Huh?! THEN LISTEN!"

I spun around so fast that I don't think even superman could have kept
up. I walked towards him and looked him in the eye. "YOU were the one
playin games...you've ALWAYS been the one who played games. That's why I
left before and that's why I'm leavin now!"

"I was at your office earlier..."

It was a soft whisper. I barely heard it.

"What...?" It was a dumb question because I knew what he was talking about,
but still it was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"You heard me. I was there...I-I held you in my arms and you cried yourself
to sleep.  You were so beautiful...and your hair..." He reached his hand
out to touch my face. "Its always in the way of your eyes. Its annoying."
He brushed the hair from my eyes but his hand remained against my
cheek. "There...that's better." He leaned forward slowly and I felt like
time was slowing down around us. He moved so slow...it was almost
tormenting, his lips coming closer and closer to mine. Before I knew what I
was doing, I was leaning forward. Desperately needing, aching to feel that
familiar sensation of his lips against mine. Our lips touched softly I
opened my eyes and realized what was happening. I was doing it again. Being
stupid, throwing everything away for him. I jerked back away from him and
he looked at me with confusion.

"Stop!"

He moved closer trying to console me and I backed away from him.

"What's wrong wit you?" He looked like he was genuinely concerned. And I
almost bought it...almost.

"You know exactly what's wrong Angel. This is wrong! This whole thing is
just...wrong!"

He looked pissed when I said it and for a second I wanted to take it all
back. "Its wrong that I love you--"

"You don't love me." I interrupted.

"How you gone tell me that shorty?"

"Oh so now I'm shorty?" I laughed. He was clearly insane.  He walked closer
to me and I backed away but was surprised when my back hit the
wall. Great. He walked forward closing the space between us and putting his
hands against the wall successfully trapping me so that I had nowhere to
run.

"Can you not do this?" I asked looking him in the eye.

"Do what? Show you how much I love you? Why you think I came back? For the
money...this...this business? None of that matters. The only thing I want
is..." He leaned down and I thought he was going to kiss me again. "The
only thing I need..." he was now by my ear. His baritone voice whispering
softly in my ear. "You baby."

I think I forgot how to breathe...for a full minute I could have sworn that
I stopped breathing completely. I had finally got the answer to my
question, only thing is that I wasn't prepared for the answer. I wanted to
run away, act like this thing never happened. Angel never came back, we
never kissed, and he didn't tell me that he still wanted me.

The Golden Days.

"Don't fight it." He whispered in my ear, biting it a little and exciting a
moan from me. I tired to push him off but he pushed back harder making my
efforts useless.  I went from pushing him off, to my hands under his shirt
and touching over his hard body.  "All this time...I never forgot you. In
fact I did all this for you...I tried to become a better man...jus so you
could be proud of me and see me in a different light. And maybe even give
us a shot again." He stopped whispering in my ear and removed my hands from
his shirt. He still had me pinned against the wall but he was looking at me
now in the eye and I was looking at his. I saw tears in his eyes. He was
being sincere. I've seen a lot of sides to Angel over the years...but this
was one that surprised even me. "I don't wanna play games anymore
Golden...I know now that its you I want. No more lyin, no more playin wit
your heart." A tear rolled down his cheek. "Just please at least think
about it?" He leaned down and kissed me hard on the lips. My arms wrapped
around his neck and pulled him closer to my body. I felt more tears fall
down his cheek and a few fell from my eyes as well. He pushed his body
against mine and I could feel our bodies respond to the closeness.

Leo...I can't do this to him...its not fair...I would be no better than
Angel...I couldn't hurt Leo he done so much for me...he was there when
Angel left me alone and he was there to help me through my parents
death. Leo

I pushed Angel away. "We...can't." It was getting harder and harder to
resist him now. I'm falling back into the hole that I worked so hard to
climb out of.

"Why not?"

"Because I--there's someone else." I said not looking him in the eyes. For
some reason I couldn't bring myself to see his reaction.

He was silent for a long time. I wasn't sure if he was mad or thinking it
over. "Who is it?"

"Leo." I squeaked out.  Why was I hesitant to tell him that I was with Leo?

He looked at me like it was a joke but when I didn't laugh he got
serious. "That nigga?! You serious?!"

I shook my head yes.

What he said next surprised me. "Its coo jus break up wit him." He had said
it so nonchalantly, like it was noting an easy solution to a complicated
problem. It made me mad. No mad wasn't strong enough, it made me pissed. I
pushed him and he stumbled backwards with a confused look on his face.

"I can't just leave him. He cares about me as I do him. He was there for me
when you ran away and left me brokenhearted. You know how long it took me
to get over you?! Do you?! Eight damn months and even then I thought about
you! He was there for me when my parents died. YEAH ANGEL MY PARENTS DIED!!
And where were you?! Nowhere to be found...off living your life not caring
about the people you've hurt along the way. So before you just `suggest' I
break up with him..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I just started
crying. He tried to hold me but I pushed away from him.

"Please just...don't okay."

He nodded his head. "Okay its okay...just please relax. I didn't know." He
held his hands up like he was surrendering. "Baby I swear if I had known I
would have came back...I would have been the one to comfort you. Its
just...when I left at the beginning of senior year I knew you would be mad
especially considering the way we left things. I needed to get better. It
was breaking my heart to be away from you and to see you suffer because of
me, but I leave. I wanted to become the man that you could be proud of. Not
some trouble making punk who was rich because of his family's money. I
wanted you to look at me the way you did when we first met."

"And what made you come to this epiphany?"

"When my abuelo died." He looked sad for a moment but continued. "My abuelo
was the only person, besides you, who understood me. I remember when I was
a kid he would sit me on his lap and we would talk about everything. He
never judged, never got angry, he only listened. In fact he was the first
person I told that I was gay. He just smiled and said `I know' he always
knew. I was just so happy that he didn't stop loving me. He said he would
never do such a thing." He stopped to wipe a tear from his eye. "Anyway
when he was at the hospital and he knew he was dying but he still had a
smile on his face. I was the first person to see him, he requested me. We
talked for a long time and he said that he didn't approve of all the
trouble I was getting into...he said...he said that I should be better to
you and that I should be better for myself. He made sure to let me know
that he wasn't disappointed or mad...he just felt I could do better. He
said that I should try and be a better person...that I was better than
that. He also made me promise that when he died that I would stop acting
like a child. That I would grow up and be the man that he would be proud to
call his grandson. I promised him." He was crying now and I walked forward
and wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest.  "He
died two hours later."

I could feel his tears on my head and his body shake with every sob. It
made me think of my parents. I cried too. After a while our emotions
settled but we still held each other. I released him and looked up.

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay." He said automatically. "You didn't know just like I didn't
know." I nodded my head. "But everything I said was true...and I'm not
giving up on us." I pulled away from his completely and nodded my head
again. I turned and walked towards the elevator. The elevator opened and I
looked back at Angel one last time he was walking towards the elevator and
when I walked in he stood there and watched.

"Golden...I'm glad we had this talk."

"Yeah me too...goodnight Angel."

"Goodnight Golden."

The elevator doors closed.

_______________________

The ride home was silent, not that I had anyone to talk to anyway.  When
Benny dropped me off at home I told him that he could have the day off
tomorrow, he's been more than helpful running me around all day he deserved
a break. I watched him drive away for a while and stayed outside long after
he was gone. I had to go in and face the music. My only hope was that it
would wait until tomorrow. I prayed that Leo would understand...in the end
I chose him, I wanted to be with him. Not Angel no matter how many of those
old feelings resurfaced tonight. Angel was unpredictable and he's hurt me
one time too many. Leo was safe, and right now I needed safe...I needed
Leo. I sighed and shook off all my nerves and walked into the house. I
walked past the family room and half expected Leo to be there with the
lights out waiting for me to come home and ambush me...but he wasn't. I
walked upstairs and peaked into my room. Leo was sleeping. I walked in and
sat on the bed in front of him. He looked so peaceful sleeping. His hair
was thrown over his eyes and his lips were soft and pink. He looked so
innocent. How could I dream of hurting someone so good to me? Tonight I
almost gave into Angel, I could feel it. Thank god Leo saved me. Thinking
about him and the life I have with him right now was the only thing that
stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I leaned down and
pressed my lips softly against his. He responded by kissing me back a
little in his sleep. I leaned back and smiled down at him.

"I love you...I just needed you to know that." I whispered to his sleeping
form.

"Love you too." He whispered in his sleep. I was surprised he heard me. I
got up from the bed and walked out the room quietly so that I wouldn't wake
him. I walked down to Miles' room just to check on him. I heard loud noises
coming from his room and at first I thought he left the tv on but when I
opened the door Miles was playing his Wii. When he saw me he glanced from
the tv to me.

"Isn't it past your bedtime mister?" I said trying to sound like I was mad
but in a joking way.

"Well I was waiting for you to get home and Leo was going to stay up but he
was sad, so he went to sleep."

I felt guilty. "Did he say why?"

"Nope but I guessed you guys had a fight."

He was to perceptive for his age. "Well yeah we did, but its okay now. I
was just being stupid."

Miles laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You can be stupid sometimes." He said laughing again.

I was surprise. The nerve of him. "Oh really?"  I jumped on his bed and
tackled him. He was caught off guard and moaned something about me messing
up his game. I started tickling him until he was literally crying for
mercy.

"That's what you get."

"That wasn't nice big brother."

"Respect your elders little guy!" I said ruffling his hair. "Now turn that
thing off and get some sleep. Its way past your bedtime."

He moaned. "Okkkaayyy...hey big brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you please sleep in here with me...just for tonight."

I nodded my head and crawled into bed with him. He was so excited and I
could tell he missed sleeping with me. I laid down on my back and opened my
arms and he crawled into them. I held him close and for the first time all
day I felt relaxed. He dozed off pretty quickly in my arms and I soon
followed him.