Date: Tue, 05 Dec 2006 04:19:23 +0000
From: Eros434759@comcast.net
Subject: Grocery Boy Part 12

This story contains gay themes and graphic depictions of
homosexuality.  If this offends you, then you probably
shouldn't read it.  I welcome any and all comments and
appreciate all of the feedback I have previously received.
I'd also like to say thanks to the folks at Nifty


That night was a very long one.  I got into the hotel at
around 3A.M.  I practically fell into bed, but I didn't
sleep.  I thought about "my giant" for the first time in a
long time.  It suddenly came to me why I was really there. I
loved Chris.  I lusted after him.  I needed him to know
that.  Somehow I was going to have to make him understand
that he was the one.  But I also needed to let him know
about the others.  He was the man I wanted to be with, but I
also needed the other guys.  I liked to get fucked but I
wanted to fuck also.  Would he understand that?  I spent a
lot of the rest of the night pondering that question.  When
I awoke Saturday morning, it was after 8.  I got up and took
a shower.  I shaved and brushed my teeth carefully.  I
studied myself in the mirror.  I was okay looking.  I had
nice legs and a good ass.  I needed to work more on my abs,
but, otherwise I was a bit of a looker.  I got dressed.  I
brought out the big guns.  I had brought my best jeans.  I
wanted Chris to notice everything when he first saw me.  I
called a cab and left for his Mom's house.  The neighborhood
was a working class neighborhood.  It was clean and very
urban.  Some kids were playing on the streets.  I started to
sweat.  I had planned what I wanted to say, but it felt like
I was going to be addressing a crowd.  Would his Mom be
there?  Any siblings?  Did they even know he was gay?  Shit!
Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I thought.  Too late.  The
cab pulled up in front of a small house with a neatly
manicure lawn.  It was an old house but you could tell
someone had put a lot of love into it.  The old exterior
looked freshly painted and the lawn furniture on the porch
was clean.  I walked up to the front door and rang the bell.
A small child of about seven or eight peeked through a crack
in the door.  He looked like a smaller version of Chris.
The same soft eyes the same smile.  I asked him if Chris was
home.  He called out to his Mom and then a beautiful woman
came to the door.  She appeared to be in her late forties.
I smiled and explained to her that I was a friend of Chris'
from Colorado.  She smiled back.
"You must be Parker" she said.
"Yes, how." I began.
"Chris talks about you incessantly." she said.  I was
relieved.  She opened the door and invited me in.  We went
down the hall, passing several small rooms, which I assumed
were bedrooms.  We ended up in a small kitchen.  There were
three more children in addition to the little boy I saw
earlier.  I said hello to the children and took a seat at
the table.  Chris' mom brought me a cup of coffee and sat
down.  She looked at me.
"You're not what I expected" she said.
"I'm not?" I asked.
"No" she replied.  She explained that through Chris'
description she had developed a mental image of what she
thought I'd look like.  I told her I hoped she wasn't
disappointed.  She said no and sent the children outside.
Once they were gone we had a serious conversation. Chris,
she told me, was a very big part of their family.  He
represented a father image to the kids and was her best
friend.  He sacrificed a lot to go to college and she didn't
intend to see him blow that.  I wasn't sure what she meant
by that.  I had no intention of making him give up college.
I knew how important that was.  I explained that I wasn't
really sure where I stood with Chris.  She looked at me with
a mother's eyes.
"Of course you do, that's why you're here."  I was taken
aback.  She was a very wise woman.  She had raised four
children and she had learned from that.  She read me like a
book.  I just wish I knew how he felt about me.  I told her.
"I won't presume that you're stupid, and I know you're
fishing," she started "but I think you already know the
answers to all of your questions."  She was right.
I just needed to hear it from someone else.  We talked some
more as I waited for Chris.  I learned that she had gotten
pregnant with Chris when she was very young and that his
father had left them.  She had met another man and married
when he was still a boy, but he was abusive and though she
tried to stay with him for the sake of the children, she
became worried that he would start to hit the children.  She
left him and never looked back.  From that moment Chris took
over the role of Father.  He looked after the kids as she
worked three jobs to support them.  My respect was
tremendous.  This was a true queen.  Like most black women,
she had sacrificed everything for the sake of her children.
Somewhere in my mind, I told myself, I would have to find a
way to help her.  I didn't know how just then, but I would
do something.  Suddenly there was a commotion outside.  I
could hear the children squealing.

"Chris is home" his mom announced.  I walked to the front of
the house and looked through the front window.  I could see
Chris surrounded by children.  Not just his brothers and
sisters, but, five or six other children.  The kids really
loved him.  He had a child in each arm, and a little boy I
didn't recognize was clinging to one leg.  Chris was all
smiles as he played with the kids.  It was obvious he loved
kids.  I couldn't help but smile to myself.  There was
something contagious about his playfulness.  I had a sudden
urge to run out and join him, but I stayed inside and
watched.  After a couple of minutes his Mom went and told
him he had a guest.  He walked through the door and his
expression was not what I anticipated.  He seemed neither
surprised, nor genuinely pleased to see me.  There was a
moment when we were there with his Mom where I was
embarrassed.  After his Mom excused herself, he confronted
me.  The first question threw me.
"Why did you come here?" I looked at him.  I tried to read
his face.  He was different here.  He was more mature.  He
was the father here.  I was definitely intruding.
"I. I came to see you" I stammered.
"Why?" it was more of a demand then a question.
"You left so suddenly without saying goodbye. I guess I was
concerned" I began.  "I can see that was a mistake now."  I
wanted to leave.  His demeanor had changed dramatically from
when he was outside playing with the kids.
"You should go" he said.  I fought back tears.
"Yeah" I said.  I was moving toward the door.
"You just gonna leave?" his Mom asked.
"I'm sorry?" I responded.
"Are you just gonna walk away" she repeated.
"I don't think." I began.
"Chris doesn't always know what's best for him" she said.
She was talking to me but, she was looking at Chris.  "He's
been trying to be a father, a mentor, and a provider for so
long, he's forgotten how to be himself." she said.
"Mom." Chris began.
"You go and talk to that boy" she said.  He looked at her.
It was obvious he listened to her.
"Come on" he said to me.
I mouthed the words Thank you to his Mom as I followed him
outside.  Kids came from everywhere.  He explained to the
kids that he had to go for a walk and he'd be back in a
little while.  The child that had been clinging to his leg
looked heartbroken.  Chris knelt down and picked him up.  He
promised him that he would take him for ice cream when he
came back.  The boy walked over to one of Chris' brothers
and sat quietly as we walked away.  The other kids were more
verbal.  Someone asked who I was.  Chris told them I was a
friend.  As we walked away they all began to chant "Chris
has a boyfriend."  It's funny how kids totally don't
understand the complexities of same sex relationships.
"My Mom likes you" he said out of the blue as we walked
toward a small park.
"She's a beautiful woman, and a strong woman" I said
"She's had to endure a lot" he said.  "I won't put her
through this"
"Chris I didn't come here to put you or your Mom out" I
said.
"Why did you come?" he asked.  I stopped and looked at him,
he needed to know.
"I love you." I finally said.



(To be continued)