Date: Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:02:52 -0500
From: S Smith <mheast111@hotmail.com>
Subject: I?m Not Gay?.  Am I?  story

Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here.  If you don't like any of the
following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc.

This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or
deceased. Please do not copy without my consent.  Please practice safe sex.

Subject: I'm Not Gay...  Am I?

It all started my freshman year in high school. Just one little thing
changed my entire life and even now I can't understand why. Why did this
shit happen to me?! Four years of hell as I went through high school
wondering how I would make it one more day in those halls. Hearing the
taunts, the ridicule, the names they would call me. I had Mom's pills in my
hand more than once...ready to take those and fall asleep forever. But my
Dad needed me on the farm and if I was gone it would destroy their world,
and it would hurt my little brother and sister.

I remember the day that everything changed -- a Monday during my freshman
high school year.  Back when I was on the wrestling team, when I was
popular, had a girlfriend, and had my 3 close buddies -- Kevin, Jeff, and
Jay. The 4 of us guys did everything together through our elementary years,
and I loved hanging out with them. Jay was the most fun because he had the
coolest with the video games, and the big screen television. It was just
another day with my buddies when Jay pulled out the secret stash of porn
magazines he had found in his Dad's closet. It was my first time to see
porn -- and we were all excited.

"Hey look! -- Joey's popping a boner!" Kevin yelled, laughing and pointing
at Joey in the recliner. He was engrossed in a magazine and rubbing at his
crotch.

"Shut up, asshole! I can't help it!" Joey yelled back, grabbing at the pile
of magazines and tossing some of them at us.

I should have never looked down. The magazine that had hit me landed on the
sofa cushion next to me and fell open to pictures of a man and woman
fucking. The images were of a chick with heavy makeup and huge silicone
filled tits, and a tan Latin guy straddling the woman while tearing his
shirt open. The other magazines seemed to be women only, so I was
fascinated with this view. It was raw sexual energy and I was anxious to
see the image of a couple truly fucking.

On the following page the guy was on the bed between the girl's legs, but
this time he was nude and grasping his hard cock in his hands. It
fascinated and shocked me to see a man like that, especially since all the
other porn seemed to be just girls lying around spread eagle. I stared
intensely at the image -- and regret that even now.

"Eric! What the fuck?!! You checking out the guy??!!" Kevin had come up
behind me and was looking at the picture I was staring at.  In seconds Jay
and Jeff ripped the magazine from my hand and looked at the image.

"Eric's gay! Eric Gay!" Jay was the first one to yell it out. He was never
that creative with name calling -- so it was easy for him to come up with
such a lame one by only changing my real name of Eric Day to Eric
"Gay". God, I wish I had a last name like Smith!

By Friday the whole school had heard about it, but the story had
changed. Everyone now thought Jay had caught me jacking off to a gay porn
magazine I had brought to his house. My entire high school reputation was
ruined. Once the school heard the story it became so real that my 3 friends
avoided me, and even casual friends would look the other way in the
halls. I spent my entire high school years as the subject of constant
bullying and gay attacks. And I am not even fucking gay!

It makes my stomach hurt when I think about those years. Yet here I am back
in the high school building again, hiding again in my old stall in toilets
within the P.E. locker room. I graduated just a month ago, 18 yrs old and
more than ready to move to the college in Chicago my parents promised me I
could go to. I was going to be away from this school and town forever.

But my parents sat me down last night and told me my Chicago college dream
was over.  They had not been able to work out the issues with the financial
aid office, and due to deadlines I would not be going there this fall. My
only option was the community college in town -- and I was back here to get
my transcripts from the office and run them over to the college office.

My fear of the school disappeared as I stood in the empty hallway after
getting my transcripts from the office secretary. But the core of my fear
was the locker room.  P.E. class had been torture for me -- and something
compelled me to go face my demons.

Students and alumni can still use the weight room, gym, and pool in the
summers for a fee, but since it was mid morning I knew I would find the
locker room empty. It was odd to be back in the area, facing the memories
of all the abuse I had faced in there.  But 5 minutes later I heard the
footsteps and I scurried into the toilet area. I climbed into this far
stall that I used to hide in all those years. Apparently someone was in the
locker room to because a shower was now running so I needed to get out now!
I unlatched the stall door and tiptoed out of the toilet area to head
across the locker room and out of there forever.

"Hey faggot!" The deep voice behind me echoed off the cement walls as I
froze in place. I hadn't noticed the shower water turn off.  I turned to
look into the eyes of Ryan Baker.  Ryan had been in my class since my first
day in kindergarten.  He was the popular jock, in football, tracking, and
wrestling. And he was one of the guys who had bullied me the most. What he
fuck is he doing in here?....

In a flash his right arms flies at me and his hand squeezes around my
neck. My ass muscles clench tight as I tremble with utter fear.

"Eric Fucking Gay. You been watching me shower, queer?!"

I couldn't speak. His hand was squeezing my neck and the fear I had was
palpable.

"What the fuck you doing in here? Hiding and trying to watch guys
shower?!!"

My head slammed into the lockers as he tossed me across the room. Before I
can even stand up Ryan's foot is slamming into my back and I'm sliding
across the cement floor. Another blow comes to my right temple as I roll
further into the locker room. All I can see are flashes in my eyes,
glimpses of the cement floor, and Ryan's bare feet next to me. Seconds
later I am lifted up and shoved in the shower room, landing in puddles of
water. I can hear him laughing, but my head is aching from the blows and
the pain in my back is intense. The water from the floor is soaking my
clothes and I scramble to try to stand up.

"So you want a shower with me, faggot?? Okay!"

Hot water is spraying on me as Ryan's flips the faucets of the shower heads
on the left wall. I start to crawl, but Ryan's foot slams into my chest and
sends my whole body sliding back to the further wall.

"I always hated you, you fucking queer!" Ryan's voice echoes, as I look up
at him standing naked over me. I am totally soaked, and he's blocking me
into this corner and kicking. All I can do is close my eyes and hope he
stops...

More warm water hits my face, and it stings my eyes, running over my lips
into my mouth. The water tastes bitter and I spit it out. Opening my eyes I
see Ryan holding his cock, aiming it directly down at me with a yellow
stream of piss arcing from the tip to my face.

"You are nothing but a piss drinking, faggot." I try to shield my face and
purse my lips closed. I won't look up at him, as I feel the powerful stream
moving across my face, down my t-shirt, and onto my pants. He is pissing
all over me! My head flashes with intense pain as I feel hands grabbing and
pulling me up by my hair, and fingers prying my mouth open. In seconds, my
mouth fills with the bitter acrid taste of piss flowing down my throat.

"You love my piss, don't you faggot?!"

I struggle to move my head and gasp for air, but my whole body jerks as
Ryan pulls me forward and my face slams against him. Piss and shower water
splashes over me as his fingers hold my jaw open and I feel his cock
ramming into my open mouth. My mouth is stretched open and my jaw feels
pain as more and more of his cock seems to fill it.

"Fucking cock sucker!"

Air fills my lungs as the piss stops to flow, but my mouth is still rammed
full of his flesh. I push back at his legs trying to free myself from his
grasp.

"Suck it, faggot!"

His cock is gagging me and I feel like I can't breathe! My throat burns
with pain as he shoves farther into me and grips my hair even tighter.

"Take it, faggot! Take it, you cock sucking queer!"

I'm pushing back at his legs and scratching at his thighs to stop him, but
he has a tight hold on me. My face is being pressed against his body, his
pubes in my eyes...

"Fuckkkk!"

I feel warmth in my mouth, but not the bitterness as before. It's salty,
thick cream and it fills my throat and mouth. I gasp for air, and the pain
is finally stopping as he releases my hair and I fall back to the floor
spitting the cum still in my mouth that has not already gone down my
throat.

I lay on the floor as soapy water splashes onto me. Blinking water from my
eyes, I look up to see Ryan standing above me lathering his body as he
casually showers with his back to me.  Forcing myself to my hands and
knees, I crawl on all fours from the shower room, and fall into a heap on
the locker room floor.

There is so much pain in my back, chest and mouth. I can hear the showers
turn off, and Ryan step next to me, water dripping off his body onto my
face.

"You tell anyone and I will fucking kill you." I can hear him walking away,
as his wet feet slap on the floor.

Dragging my limp body across the floor, I make it to a bench and pull
myself up. I know Ryan is on the other side of the lockers, but I need to
get my clothes off so I can wring the piss and water from them before I
leave. Struggling out of them, I shake and feel tears of humiliation burn
my eyes. I step into the sink and mirror area looking at my bruised body in
the mirrors while wiping my eyes and nose on my forearm.

"I swear I will fucking kill you if you tell anyone, Eric." Looking into
the mirror I see Ryan is standing behind me casually toweling off and
smiling at his threat to me.

Ryan's arm snaps out gripping my left wrist and jerking my back to the
sinks. He steps forward pinning me there and staring at me.

"Dude - what the fuck you crying about?  All you faggots love cock -- I
only gave you what you wanted."

My whole body convulses, and the tears pour from my eyes as I gag out the
words, "I'm NOT gay! I'm not fucking...gay...!"

Sobbing, I am pinned with my ass pressed against the sink counter, and his
hands are on my hips. His right hand reaches up and holds my chin so that I
am looking directly into his face.

"Faggot," he whispers as he stares into my eyes, and his mouth closes over
mine.

The stubble on his chin and upper lips grinds into my face, and his tongue
is rough as it probes my mouth. But this is different. This is not man who
just raped my mouth seconds ago in the shower. This is man is kissing me,
not attacking me.

All the fear and terror that Ryan had caused, and all the pain from the
years in this locker room was tumbling apart as my knees buckled. The
tongue probed, and the body pressed against me, as his arms wrap around me
in an embrace. What is he doing to me?! I have to get away from this man!
Never in my life has a guy kissed me before, despite all the lies and
rumors about me. Never in my life has a human being kissed me like this
before. As much as I hate it, my hands are reaching up his back and
touching him. My tongue is wrapping around his.

The world is spinning. All I can feel is our mouths together as my legs
move and I feel him lower me to a bench. As I am laid back and our mouths
separate, Ryan swings his right leg over me and straddles my body,
squatting onto my chest. His cock hangs in front of my face and his eyes
stare into mine.

"Come on, Eric.  Suck me...or else I will fucking kill..."

I know this is not violence, but I can't risk upsetting him. I have to do
this.  Part of me wants to do this. The cock slides in between my lips and
he shifts his weight so he can start to fuck my mouth. I know this is
wrong, but I will do what he demands.

"Yeah...fuck yeah... suck it, Eric."

This time there is no pain. Just smooth flesh sliding in and out of my
mouth. As much as I hate what's happening, I feel no fear and willingly
suck. Looking back up to Ryan's eyes I see his arm reach back and feel his
warm hand grasp my cock.

Ryan's hand grips my entire shaft pumping me, as I do every morning and
night in my bed at home. But this is different -- this is someone else
stroking my cock and the sensation is incredible. Every cell of my groin
seems to be on fire as he jerks me harder.

Involuntarily my whole body seems to shake, and my mouth clamps around his
hard cock and I open my throat allowing him to fuck my face harder. I want
to stop, but I can't.  I am pinned to this bench and...his hand on my dick
feels so amazing.

"Worship my cock, queer." His whisper burns through my ears and mind,
straight through my body to my cock. My whole body violently shakes as I
feel my cock pulsing out ropes of cum, and Ryan releases his load deep into
my throat.

Climbing off me, Ryan turns and I see my cum coating his bare ass. He walks
away and I can hear the showers starting again. I can't explain what has
happened, and I feel tears again in my eyes. Grabbing my clothes, I run
naked through the locker room, out the door and down the P.E. wing.
Standing in the shadows of the dark corner I hold my wet clothes to my body
as I cry for everything that this high school has done to my life. I will
leave now and never look back. And never let these memories enter my mind
again.


TO BE CONTINUED...

Hope you are enjoying the story. This is just the beginning for Eric as he
starts to deal with the men he encounters in his life. You can email with
your comments, questions, or whatever.  Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com