Date: Mon, 11 Jul 2011 07:18:20 -0400 From: S Smith <mheast111@hotmail.com> Subject: Im Not Gay Am I - Chapt 17 Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. If you don't like any of the following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc. This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Please do not copy without my consent. Please practice safe sex. I'm Not Gay? Am I? Chapter 17 I didn't know what was going on with Jeff. In many ways I felt like my life was out of control. I had worked so hard on my sickness, to keep myself away from the temptation. I would never be able to erase the past, not even my sick thoughts. But I thought I would never end up like this. Maybe in the sixth or seventh grade I had a crush on girls and I had even taken them to a school dance. But that was just kids stuff. I wanted to know what it was like to feel all those emotions that songs, books and greeting cards were written about. And now I was finally achieving that. But with a guy. What the fuck?! To be honest, I felt some of the same emotions with Todd. Things were so different with him though. Rape, manipulation, then intimacy. How the hell could I understand those feelings. But the did exist and they still remain in the pit of my stomach. Todd never leaves my thoughts really. But I suppress it as much as I can. With Jeff, I knew it wasn't infatuation. Hell I had already been infatuated with Jeff from the first day I met him. At times I was obsessed about him. But this was a different kind of feeling. It was a connection that went beyond his cock. It was a feeling of contentment. It felt right. I had longed with some many men to share a friendship and more. And now I had found something with Jeff I couldn't define but it was incredible. Our dorm room had become our sanctuary. It was the place we put down all our facades and became a couple. No longer was our door always open so our hall mates could stop by and hang. No more of Jeff strutting around in his jock strap in a performance for people going down our hallway. No longer a place for Jeff to fuck the list of girls he used to bring to the room. Instead we were safely tucked away behind our locked door. Most of the time naked and either having sex or just laying together naked and touching. "Hey hon," Jeff said most nights as he arrived home from classes and locked the door. I either jumped up from my desk or else he came over to me laying on the sofa and we would kiss. Long and passionate kisses that showed our feelings for each other. The ache we had for each other. "Hey babe," I would say when our mouths parted. One of us typically woould reach for the others shirt buttons or hem of a t-shirt to remove it. Often I already was only in my briefs for him, ready to be used for pleasure. "Fuck you are sexy," he loved to say as he would look down at my hands unzipping his pants. I couldn't wait. Every time I was around him I wanted his cock to be out. I had waited too long and too many times I had only fleeting glances at the cock. I deserve to see it, touch it, and taste it. And Jeff loved my obsessiong with it. His ego swell everytime I begged for it. I never wanted to be away from that perfect meat ever again. "Fuck me baby," I would say because it would trigger him everytime. It would make his dick jump and in minutes it was hard and plowing my ass. I am sure it was the line some of his girls had used on him and he probably had reacted the same way. Taking and using the hole that would make his dick feel good. I admit I felt sick sometimes being and acting like those girls. But I couldn't help it. How the fuck could I stop now after all this? It was too much for me to resist. I would think about it all later. For now, all I wanted was sex with Jeff. We only talked about our new life once. It was a Saturday morning, which was our favorite day of the week together. The dorm was usually quiet because everyone was sleeping in, getting through their hangovers from partying on Friday night. That would give us the excuse to stay locked in privacy and not cause too much gossip about how we were locked up in our room. We used those mornings to be together. More sex, but it was slow and deliberate sex. Sex where you talk and lick and suck and try new things to give the other more pleasure. It was those mornings I would even let my mind start to wonder if maybe there was more to this than just me being mesmerized by Jeff. That maybe this was the real me. After a particularly intense session that we had just finished a long session and laid together, our skin covered with our drying cum, I finally said something. "Jeff, that was perfect! Lets stay in the room all day and you can fuck me more," I said, my voice filled with the happiness and horniest emotions I ever felt. His laugh filled the room and he gripped his soft but perfect dick and swung it in the air. "Ahh Eric you just want more of this, you cock hungry bitch," he said jokingly and kissed my lips before he jumped out of the bed and grabbed a dirty towel to wipe down the remnants of cum I had not licked up off of him yet. "Why not?" I said, as I started to to think that my idea wasn't all that bad. It was rainy out and could be a perfect Saturday. Just my roommate and I naked and playing with each other all day. "Because we can't. There are enough fucking rumors about us now as it is!", he replied and pulled on a pair of briefs from the floor. My briefs. We both did that. Shared briefs. It felt good when I wore his, knowing my cock was wrapped in the cotten that held his perfect cock and balls. "Fuck the rumors," I said and pushed the sheet down to expose my nakedness. I was learning how to manipulate him more and this sight would often drive him to jump in the bed again. My cock seemed to entice him as much as his drove me wild too. "Dude, I just fucked you for the last 2 hours. You can wait till tonight for more," he said as he picked up more dirty laundry from his area of the room. I could see from the tightness of his back muscles he was thinking again. The first time I noticed it was in the gym one day as we were finishing a work out. A guy working out near us had spoken the word to us and it was filling with contempt. "Faggots." The guy that said it was the same dude that had seen us that day in the gym that we had began to kiss. The day I had confronted Jeff and our sexual desire overtook us. Jeff never said a word about itus getting called that name, but I knew how he felt. Embarassed and sick. Because the guy was right. We were acting like faggots. And that we had no real defense. The desire we had for each other needed to be kept behind locked doors, not displayed in the gym. We both felt like shit knowing there we were in the gym in front of that same guy again and he was right. We had been acting like faggots when he had seen us before. I could see from Jeff's reaction it hurt him probably even more than it hurt me being called that name. After all I had been used to being called that through high school. But my stud Jeff had never ever been considered a fag before by anyone. We left the gym immeidately but never spoke a word about it. "Listen Eric," Jeff said without looking me as he grabbed up more dirty clothes. "We really have to be careful. Seriously, some of the guys on the floor are talking. We ain't that quiet some nights. I can't have someone think we are gay because we ain't." "What are we?" I replied instantly. His shoulders dropped and he stopped with his back to me. He turned and looked at me, his face a mix of anger and confusion. "We are guys that like sex. That's it," he said and resumed him laundry pick up. "I let you put your cock up my ass and I swallow your cum. Isn't that fucking gay?" I said and sat up in bed, no longer trying to give him a visual image to entice him, but to have a deeper conversation about this. To be honest at that moment I really didnt know what I was but I figured between the 2 of us we could figure it out. And with him by my side I could handle the answer whatever it was. I just knew I would be whatever someone labeled me to keep Jeff in my life. "So you want to be some fucking queer now?" he said and glared at me. "NO! You know I don't want to be. But how can we fucking deny it. We are having gay sex," I replied. "Shut the fuck up!" His anger spilled across the room. "It doesnt fucking make us fags! Gay are those fucking queens like Nate and all his friends in that fucking drama department! Look at us! We are not those fuckin queens!" He was right. We were 2 gym jocks with muscled bodies. Of everything I knew about gay guys we looked and acted noting like them. We were masculine college guys. But we were having gay sex and we both knew it. "Nate is gay and he isn't some fucking queen," I replied in defense of him. I liked Nate and he had been good to me, so I didn't want anyone calling him a fag. "Arent we the same as him and his boyfriend though?" My words made him jump and he turned to me quickly. "What the fuck you saying?" I was scared to say more. I could tell my comments had scared him. Hell they scared me! Instead of telling him how gay we were acting I said, "I guess I am saying, aren't we boyfriends?" "I fuck you daily, what more do you want?" he mumbled and look away from me. "I want to spend the rest of our senior year like this. Just you and me. I love this. Fuck I think I may even love you." My words spilled out, unplanned and unprepared. "You love me?" he said in a faint whisper? "Yeah," I whispered in reply and looked at the floor in shame. His cock twitched. I could see the movement despite the fact I was looking at the floor. My words had aroused him. "Sorry", I said, but did not look at him. I heard the soft sounds of his briefs sliding over his thick thighs. Then he slipped into bed with me again and his muscled arms wrapped around me. We kissed deeply and in one swift movement my legs went over his shoulders and his dick was at my pucker hole again. I reached up behind the headboard to the bottle of lube he had bought us. I could easily squeeze and get a dollup of lube with one hand. We fucked enough that I knew how to grab the lube without even looking for the bottle. I smeared it on his cock and my ass and in seconds he was back inside me. "Jeff!" I said in excitement as he pentrated my ass. "No one has ever told me that before," he whispered as he looked into my eyes. I didnt break the stare but instead wrapped my legs aroound his waist and drew him deeper inside me. We began to fuck, back and forth his cock drilled into me while we kept staring at each other, our mouths slightly open with our involuntarily moans of pleasure. "I love you too," he grunted out as he fucked me harder. Our eyes closed and we kissed and his pelvis went into over drive slamming his dick up inside me. I clung to him and he gasped into my ear and our fuck became intense, violent and needed. We clung to each other like hungry animals who would eat each others flesh just to get further inside one another. We screamed out in excitement not caring who heard, just as long as we fucked each other harder and more intensely than we ever had before. Minutes later we shot our cum at the same moment, mine spraying across my chest and his face, adn his deep into my hungry bowels. Nothing more was said about us that day. We just moved forward. We spent even more time together and didnt even bother the pretense of hanging at the pub with the girls who angled to get in our pants. There was no point of pretending any more. We had each other and we both clearly served each other's needs. I really don't remember all of the days. To be honest it was nonstop sex. We fucked like dogs every day and it never seemed enough. We tried different positions and moves. Anything to get more of him inside me and anything he could do to use his cock on me. Only at quiet moments after I was finished with my work study and was sitting alone in the library did I let myself think. The fear I had would grip my heart and I would get a shortness of breath. Because I knew what I was doing with my life was letting the sickness I had avoided for so long take me over. Every thought I seemed to have was about Jeff, or even sometimes still Nate, or in the gym watching other guys. I never craved or thought of women. I wanted just more cock. And Jeff provided it to me. So I would close my mind and not think about it. Instead I would study harder, work out more and take Jeff's cock at least once a day to feed my need. He would jock sometimes after we laid in bed together covered with cum and tell me I was insatiable. He laughed and would tell me how he used ot jack off a couple times a day but I would drain that and more out of him daily. We both laughed harder realizing we had ot be the only college guys who never jack off because we are too busy servicing each other, we don't need to jack! Then one day Jeff surprised me. He was smiling as he came through the door, his tight shirt clinging to him and my cock twitching to strip him so fast I didn't see the black sack in his hand. "Here baby, a gift for you," he laughed out and tossed that sack to me, and peeled off his shirt. I reached in and pulled out a long narrow box. Through the plastic wrap I stared at a big black cock! It was a perfect mold of a cock. A dildo. He had gone to the local porn store and bought it for me! We laughed, but both tore at the box and I sucked on it to show how eager I was for us to play with it together. It was oddly similar to Jeff's dick, a nice thick 8 inch cock that I wanted to feel up my ass. So for the next few days I was having sex not only with JEff but with the new dildo. I have to admit we had quite a bit of fun with it and we would laugh in the mirror sometimes once I had it shoved up my white ass. It reminded me of my previous roommate who I tricked into fucking me. He still hated me so I never had the pleasure of black cock inside me again till the dildo came around. I learned how to take that dildo in many ways and many positions which added to the sex Jeff and I shared as we would repeat the same moves. It seemed to push all our boundaries because we became even more adventurous, sneaking groping and kissing outdoors, or even in the restrooms. One night we even snuck into the dorm showers and fucked there. It was a big risk but the thrill was worth it, bending over for Jeff. I laughed and told him how it was my second time of getting cock in the showers. It was the same place Nate and I had hooked up the first time. Over the weeks the sex became more intense and our pretense of being straight roommates slipped away. We became even more verbal in the midst of sex and anxious to meet in the room throughout the day for more action. I would willingly meet him there to drink more cum from his cock and let him fuck me quickly if he wanted it. There was no more hesitation and we even took the risk in the locker room at the gym one day for some fun. The side of lockers we were on was empty and when he bent over to grab up his jock strap I stuck my tongue between his ass cheeks. Right there in the gym I ate his ass and we skipped our workout to hurry back to the room for more. Jeff loved it having my tongue on his hole and that same day out of the blue I grabbed the dildo and ran it between his ass cheeks. He moaned with pleasure and my cock leaped up. It reminded me of Nate and how much fun I had fucking him. My heart beat rapidly imagining fucking Nate again however I didn't want to cheat on Jeff. But I wanted to top a tight ass too. At that very moment I decided I had to find a way to get inside Jeff's ass. I had to make him take my cock, just once. Days later I used the dildo again to rub on his hole. "Whoa babe, not my hole," he laughed out. It was his typical response whenever I put a finger at his hole or rubbed my cock there. It was our joke that he wanted nothing up there but my tongue. Intead of my usual withdrawl maneuver to leave his ass alone I pushed the dildo a bit more against his pucker. "Whoaaa," he laughed out again but the sound was funny and instead of feeling his resistance I sensed he was getting some pleasure. The dildo was so slick with extra lube that it easily rubbed and aimed at its goal. I moved my mouth closer and between my tongue and the dildo we pressed annd licked, pressed and licked. Seconds later he laughed and yelled out a "Whoaaa!" again, but I kept at it. I was a man with a goal to fuck and I looked up at Jeff to see his eyes closed and his face full of pleasure, oblivious that this time I intended to not stop. When I pressed again it popped and pushed past his resistant sphcinter. The head was inside him and with ease I slid the dildo up his ass. The lube worked perfectly. His face froze, a mix of fear, pain and pleasure. Instead of him freaking out and reacting his frozen face eased just slightly enough to make me proceed. I released my pressure on the rubber cock up his ass and squeezed his nipples, because by now I had learned those seemed to work him to a frenzy during sex. He closed his eyes feeling my hands working his pecs and slowly relaxed. We continued too make love with that dildo firmly lodged up his ass. With subtle movements I started to give him the sensation of small thrusts and over several minutes my Jeff became like me, a man who was enjoying the feeling of his ass being violated. I knew it was my chance and I thrust it harder and began to finally fuck his ass. It was an amazing metamorphisis to watch. To see the masculine guy next to me slowly experience the height of a new sexual thrill. To literally see him become a new man who was so resistant, but slowly accept the use of his ass muscles. My cock stretched to its maximum arousal and I ached to be the object inside Jeff but I knew I would have to be careful to get what I wanted. A dildo was one thing, but my cock up him would cross a border of sexuality I was not sure he would be as willing to cross. I had been fucked many times prior to Jeff, mostly due to rape. But I had learned the pleasure of a cock inside me. He had never had that moment. I manuevered him onto his stomach and continued ot dildo fuck him. He moaned in pleasure and widened his legs more so I knew he was climbing to a climax. He was willing to not stop, but to endure the pain in his ass because the pleasure was over taking him. I crawled into position slowly, and about shot my own load just looking down and seeing the display of my muscular roommate in front of me, his white smooth muscled ass arched up in the air with the fleshy dildo sliding back and forth in his hole. I couldnt stop. I had to be the dildo. I wanted him to feel what I felt, as sick as it was. We had gone this far, I wanted to go farther and makee Jeff just like me. Maybe if he craved being fucked as much as I did then together we could figure this sickness out! I slid up and kissed his bare back while fucking him harder with the black dildo. His moans became half words into his pillow and I leaned closer to hear him. "Er. Er. Eric.. Fuck. Oh my god. Eric." "Fuck. Fuck. Eric." "Fu Fu Fuck me" I hadnt expected to hear those words, but they were perfect. I don't think he meant it literally but I didnt care. Men had taken my ass and I was going to take his. With expert skill I pulled the dildo from his ass and in one swift movement I plunged the head of my stiff cock inside his hole. The exquisite pleasure of the flesh folded and surrounded the head of my cock. I pushed forward, driven by the sensations on my dick. I didn't care if it hurt. I had to have his ass wrapped around my prick and I shoved forward. "Eric! Stop!" His voice sounded pained and I knew my cock was bigger than the dildo but I didn't care. His ass was mine and no one would stop me. I shoved further driven by my animal lust to fuck him. To fuck all the men that had used me. "Eric no," he gasped out, still in pain as my cock slid further up him. "Fuck Eric, get off me!" he yelled, but I pressed going for my goal. In a final shove my balls slapped his ass cheeks and my trim bush pushed to his hole. I was buried all the way in Jeff's asshole. We froze. Me with pleasure, excitement and amazement that I was there. Inside Jeff. He lay under me, a mix of pain, pleasure, and realization that not only was a real cock up his ass but that we had gone this far. Our sexual desire for each other had scome to the point where he was now laying under me with my cock deep inside of him. I knew what it felt like to be him. Sick and painful, but yet part of your body screams out for more. From now on neither of us could ever really claim 100% straightness. I had gone somewhere, I'm not sure where, but somewhere beyond we had gone now. He may have fucked tons of girls and been the straightest man on campus but having a cock up his ass was certainly not something a straight man does. It's a scary emotion to feel laying there and realizing all you thought about yourself may be changing as your body starts to respond to the pleasure of something you considered sick and disgusting. I held him close and kissed his neck until he spoke. "Eric?" he said, almost as if he was in shock. "Jeff." I murmured romantically in a reply and closed my eyes and began to slowly move my pelvis in small circles. "Eric you are fucking inside me." His voice was a whisper, almost like a question, filled with resistance, but also laced with excitement. "Yes babe," I whispered in reply and began small thrusts into him. "You have to stop. I dont want to be fucked," he whispered as I continued to slowly move and push myself harder into him. "It's too late babe. I'm already fucking you," I said quietly as I switched to small thrusts in his ass. He was silent as I began to build the momentum and use his ass. It was tight and I felt the tension in his ass and the muscles on his back. But my hands caressed his sensative nipples and pecs and second by second I felt the tension diminsh. Several minutes pass as I fucked him slowly. Then in a small voice that seemed to be a mile away I heard him say the words I never thought my Jeff would say. "Eric, fuck me. Fuck me harder." So quiet, but yet so loud in my mind the words echoed. Just like me, I had avoided and hated being under a man that first time, but somehow I had liked it and wanted more. I had begged for it too. And now Jeff was asking for what he had always avoided. The request was met. I fucked my roommate harder and harder. The excitement built and we moaned out the pleasure. Jeff was moving with my thrusts and pressing into me trying to get more of me inside of him. I knew what it felt like to resist and then accept the pleasure. The harder I fucked him the happier he became and aggression filled my mind. I remembered all the times he had strung me along and how long I had ached just to touch him. I wanted to show him what he had been missing all this time. I wanted to see him submit lIke I had been doing daily, begging like a faggot for cock. The pleasure overtook us and nothing else matter, only that we were fucking and never wanted to stop. With each minute his voice become more conscious, more aware, more happy. "Eric. Eric this is fucking amazing," he grunted as I pounded him. I kept changing my movements, trying to get further inside him. I wanted to be part of his flesh, part of his body. I wanted to have my entire being up his ass. "Yeah, fuck me Eric, yeah!" he yelled out as I raised his left leg and got into a new position. Then I switched again, and kept my dick inside him as I moved him slowly to his back. We smiled at each other, delirious with sexual happiness we laughed and pushed aside all our resistance. His legs went over my shoulders I and drilled his ass like a wild man. I used his hole for all of my pleasure and he loved ever second. "Let me sit on it!" he said with excitement minutes later and we easily changed positions. Like a hungry faggot my muscled Jeff straddled me and bounced on my rigid cock. "Yeah Eric, come on baby, fuck my ass. Fuck me! Yeah, use my ass!" He said his words without guilt or anger. We were on our sexual high. "Eric, I fucking love you!" he said as we kissed and he bounced up and down on my stiff cock. We were one masculine unit connected through dick too ass. We moved in unison and the pleasure was in intense. I felt excitment filled with aggression. "Yeah baby," I moaned out and shoved my hips back and forth pounding his hole. "Yeah take my cock you, faggot!" I said which instead of angering him only made him laugh and beg for more. "Yeah, I'm your fucking cock loving faggot!" he replied in a humorous moan. We were beyond the worry of what we were doing. It was too late to stop. So the words only made us more excited with the sex act. "Yeah, look at you riding my cock you fuckin queer. You are gay!" I laughed out and grunted with harder thrusts. "Yeah and you are my faggot lover, baby" he said and kissed me deeply. "Breed my ass, faggot!" he screamed out. At that moment, like a geyser Jeff's cock erupted between us, splashing our chins and lips with cum. Shot after shot came out, coating our muscled chests and he yelled out the excitement. I pushed him to his back and shoved his legs to his chest and began to rape his hole. I pounded him hard and fucked him harder than I had ever fucked Nate. I was a machine headed toward my goal. My cock swelled and released. Cum exploded from the tip of my dick and he yelled out. "I can feel it. I can feel you cumming in me!" Again his words were a mix of excitement, fear, shock. "Jeff, Jeff!" I screamed as I gave my last drops of cum to his bowels. His legs lowered and I laid on top of him in exhaustion. Cum seemed to be everywhere and I laid my face on his smeared chest and we both panted and came down from our high. My mind screamed with shock, as I laid on top of my lover. We were two sweat and cum covered college jocks and we had just fucked each other beyond our own ability to believe it was possible. The pleasure was intense but just at the edge of that pleasure was fear. I looked up at his face and could see the mix of confusion he had. My cock slowly subsided until it slid from his cum filled ass. No words were said, only the sounds of panting and heartbeats. Slowly I slid up his body and we kissed, exhanging the taste of cum. "Eric, you fucked me. I just got fucked!" he said in shock. "Yeah babe. And it was perfect," I said and looked in his eyes. Only silence filled the room as we looked at each other. I could tell he was seconds from telling me how wrong it all was. But it was too late. It had happened and nothing could take that moment away from us. Our mouths met in a romantic kiss and we rested out foreheads together and stopped to get a breath. His voice was faint. I wanted more. I wanted Jeff to look me in the eyes and tell me how special the moment was. But as our cocks shrunk he shrunk away from me. I felt him sliding away from me. In a way I felt like I was across the room, sitting on my bed and looking at us in shock. "You okay?" I asked and look up to his eyes that now stared at ceiling. Then his eyes lowered and we stared at each other. He whispered quietly, "What the did we just do? What the fuck is happening? Are we fucking gay?!" Give me your thoughts or requests. If any of you have specific requests please let me know. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever. Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com.