Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2009 16:59:44 -0500
From: S Smith <mheast111@hotmail.com>
Subject: Im Not Gay...Am I?  Chapter 4

Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here.  If you don't like any of the
following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc.

This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or
deceased. Please do not copy without my consent.  Please practice safe sex.

Subject: I'm Not Gay?.  Am I? Chapter 4

The house is silent and dark as I walk down the hallway and grip the handle
of his door. When I open it, I notice the bedside lamp is still on, but he
still is fast asleep. His face is twisted, as though he's in pain. There is
a small gash across his chest, and some bruising on his side. How could I
have let this happen to him? How could it have turned out this badly?
Thankfully my parents and little sister were gone this week to my Aunt
Edith's in Spring Valley. My god this could have been so much worse if they
had been home when it happened.

Closing the door behind me I stand at the foot of his bed. I am proud of
the muscles he continues to build with the weight set I bought last
year. He's quite the man at his age compared to how I was back then. Shame
fills me, and I ache seeing him in pain like this. I take the tube of
ointment and squeeze a generous amount into my hand and start to apply it
to my little brother and his wounds.

A summer breeze blows the curtains over his bed, as I massage his chest. I
feel my body tense as tears feel my eyes. I never wanted it to turn out
like this. I never meant for Josh to get hurt. I look out into the night
and see the moonlight on the lawn below. The area where the incident
happened today. The same area where I wrestled with Josh a few weeks ago
after he had found Daniel and I in the shower together. Both times my cock
betrayed me.

Nothing was said after that night weeks ago. Emotionlessly, I climbed off
my brother and walked into the farm house. Thank God my parents had been
asleep because I was naked as I climbed the stairs, walked into the
bathroom, and washed the cum from my body. I cried myself to sleep that
night as I thought about Sarah, as I thought about Ryan and Todd raping me
again, Daniel in the shower, and poor Josh on the lawn beneath me.

I don't really know what happened that night. I've avoided Daniel ever
since, but I am sure it was all my mind confused with the night, the
stress, the alcohol, and the drugs that Ryan had slipped me. I think Daniel
was only helping me in the shower, but somehow Josh jumped to
conclusions. It doesn't matter now really. Nothing really needs to be said
about that, especially considering what happened today.

Revenge was the only thing I in my mind, once I had time to overcome the
panic and confusion of that moment weeks ago. I HAD to make both Ryan and
Todd pay in some way for what they had done to me. They took Sarah from me.

Nicky was the obvious choice for my revenge on Ryan. She was a friend of
Sarah's and Ryan's girlfriend. So once I devised a plan, I focused on her
first. When I approached her in the professor's wing on campus, she
responded easily and seemed oblivious that anything strange had happened at
Ryan's party where we had been introduced. Nicky was not the smartest girl,
so I didn't know how much she knew about me and Sarah. I just knew I had to
get in her good graces so I offered her free tutoring for her classes,
which she readily accepted.

I didn't even have to implement my plan for seduction, because from the
first tutoring session she eagerly dropped her books and pressed my face to
her tits, which I eagerly tasted. An hour later I was pulling my cock from
her pussy. so I knew my plan for revenge had moved along quickly.

"God, that felt amazing!" Nicky laid on her back, and panted as she came
down from an orgasm.

"Yeah, it was good," I said, as I watched my cock lay across my thigh
dripping from her pussy. I knew again just how much I loved fucking women,
no matter what Ryan and the others said about me.

"So you know this has to be our secret, right? I mean, if Ryan ever found
out he would fuck you up," she said, looking at me with fear in her eyes.

"Yeah, just our secret," I assured her, grabbing her in my arms and licking
my cum that I had sprayed across her tits. Swallowing it down, my mind
flashed with the memory of the taste of Ryan's cum.

"Oh god, don't, my nipples drive me wild," she panted as she arched her
back offering her chest and I licked and slurped more of my cum. I moved my
hips and positioned my cock, pressing it to her pussy lips. Skipping the
condom, I pushed my cock into her and she gasped approval.

"Eric? Oh god, fuck me again."

"Yeah," slamming my cock into her, I gripped her shoulders and started to
use her pussy, thinking how my cock was exactly where Ryan put his cock.

When I came again, I did it across her pussy. Thankfully, she shaved so as
I dove between her legs to eat my cum, I appreciated her smooth pussy lips.

"I'm better than Sarah, aren't I?"

Laughing, I grabbed up my pants and pulled them on, and reached for my
shirt. "Yeah, you're better," I said, as I thought back to my nightly fuck
sessions with Sarah that I knew I would never have again.

"Can't believe she and Todd are dating now. Doesn't that piss you off?"

"What?!"

"Oh, you didn't know? She told me yesterday."

After Nicky left the room to get me a soda, I grabbed her cell and slipped
into her bathroom. Locating Ryan's phone number was easy.

"PLEASE COME OVER. I'M WET FOR YOU!" The text I typed and sent from her
phone to him was simple, and I hoped it would work. I also copied Ryan's
number into the directory of my phone, and put Nicky's phone casually on
the bathroom shelf. I left soon after, but instead of following my original
plan I turned my car onto the street and headed for the only place in the
world I wanted to go to.

"Eric?!" Sarah stared at me in shock as she opened her apartment door.

Shoving her back into the tiny room, I kicked the door shut as I pusher her
again and she fell back on her bed. I fell on top of her pinning her arms
above her head.

"Eric! Get off! What are you doing here?!" She thrashed beneath me, but my
body weight pinned her to the mattress as I stared into her eyes and I felt
my fury build. How could she?! How could she have turned to the man who
raped her? To a guy who had raped me!? Who was this slut?!

Forcing my mouth on top of hers I shoved my tongue into her and pushed my
pelvis forward, grinding into her. She moved to fight me off, but in
seconds relented and her tongue pushed into my mouth. Her hands snaked up
between us, pulling my shirt from my jeans, and raising her sweater.  I
felt her bare breasts press against my chest, as my cock started to
harden. As I pulled my shirt over my head and did the same to her sweater,
I dived down and sucked on her tits again.

"Eric, oh god Eric, fuck me," she screamed out!

"Slut," I whispered as I licked the globes of her tits. "Fucking whore."

"Eric?" She shoved back, with confusion in her voice.

"Only sluts fuck their rapists," I said, as I kept tasting her body.

"Eric!" She slapped at me, but I pinned her arms above me and shoved my
hand into her panties and probed her damp pussy with my fingers. "Oh god!
Eric. Stop. Please. He never raped me. You left me that night! I like
Todd. Please stop," her voice trailed off as she raised her hips to meet my
probing fingers.

I raised my torso off hers, looked down at the slut, and spit on her
lips. Pulling my hand from her wet pussy I ripped the waistband of her
cotton pants and tore them open along with her panties. Fear crossed her
eyes as I unzipped and my cock popped from my pant and I shoved it
violently into her pussy.

"OH god! Fuck! Eric. Stop. Oh god," her hands reached up pulled me down on
top of her as I fucked her deeply.

"You love his big brown cock, don't you?? I whispered as I drilled into
her.

"Yes! I love it," she panted out to me.

"Yeah, well I am going to fuck you like he fucks you!" I let go of her arms
and pulled my cock out, flipping her over to her stomach. Seeing her round
ass, I pushed the tip of my cock toward the hole. The hole that Todd's cock
had used. I shoved forward, piercing her sphincter. It only took a couple
of minutes before I was dumping my load in her.

Only seconds after she closed her bathroom door I found her cell and sent
Todd the text. "PLEASE COME OVER. I'M WET!"

When I heard her shower come on, I climbed from her bed and grabbed at my
clothes, hurrying to make my escape. Little did I realize that I would hear
the knock on her door and Todd's voice. "Hey, babe, I got your text. I was
close by, headed to my softball game. Only got a few minutes. Come on babe,
let me in!"

I quickly yanked the door open and stood before the asshole defiant. I
didn't hide my nudity and watched as his eyes took in the view of me and
the messed bed behind me.

"What the fuck?!" His teeth gritted together as he spat the words out at
me. I knew what I had to do, and as much as I hated it I forced
myself. Reaching forward, I used my hand to cup his balls and felt the
taunt fabric of tight softball pants. I caressed his balls and leaned to
his ear. "Come on Todd, we only got a few minutes."

I could turned back toward the bed, and felt the fist slam into my
back. "You fucking queer! Where is Sarah?" He slammed the door shut as I
turned to face him.

I knew when Todd has raped me there was a part of him that seem to lik
it. He was never as rough and brutal as Ryan. And I had seen them kiss last
time. Todd was the gay one of all of us, and I had to use it to get my
revenge.

I grabbed his cock through the pants and stepped forward sliding my hands
under his baseball shirt. Feeling his pecs felt odd as I twisted his
nipple. I had never felt a man like that before, but I knew it would work
by the way his body seemed to shake. "I saw you and Ryan. You love fucking
me and you love kissing him. You are the fucking queer," I whispered,
staring into his eyes as I caressed his cock with one hand and a nipple
with my other hand.

As expected, his fist slammed into my jaw, and I fell back to the
bed. Jumping on me, his fists came at me and I accepted the blows. But no
fist would stop my hand from caressing his massive hard cock between his
legs.

"You fucking faggot," he gasped as he dropped his arms and allowed me to
undo the snap of his waistband. I reached in feeling the mesh of a cotton
jock strap and pulled it to the side which allowed the huge cock to pop
out. I took a deep breath and forced myself to slide my hands into back of
his pants, cupping his smooth ass checks and pushing his pants down to his
mid thighs. Then I reached back around and took the huge brown cock and
spit on it.

Everything in my soul screamed because I knew I hated this, but I had to
get my revenge. I looked into his eyes as he stared down at me. "You are a
fucking worthless faggot," I said again as I raised my legs to my
chest. The pain seared through me as he shoved forward and took my ass once
again.

My eyes squeezed shut as the pain took over my body, but I used my hands to
grasp the bands of his jock strap to pull him further into me. Despite the
overwhelming pain, I raised my hips and let him push deeper. His cock
easily commanded my ass, as I felt some pleasure come from my hole. His
hips slammed into mine, and I cupped his ass, acting as the submissive gay
guy taking the abuse. I had to do it to get my revenge.

I heard the bang of the water pipes as Sarah's shower turned off. I stared
up at Todd and saw his face as he fucked harder, oblivious to anything but
the pleasure he was feeling through his cock. I watched as the door handle
of the bathroom turned, and I pulled Todd down with one arm, making our
mouths meet, as I pulled his jock strap with my other hand forcing his cock
deeper into me.

"TODD!" Sarah's voice was a piercing scream. My ass ripped with pain as
Todd's cock pulled out of me, and he backed away slamming into the wall
behind him. I looked at Sarah who stood in a towel, then glanced back at
Todd as he stood in shock, his pants at mid thigh and his cock stuck out
from the side of his jock strap.

I lowered my legs and stood, grabbing my jeans and began to pull them
on. Todd quickly maneuvered his cock back into his strap an nd jerked his
pants up. I grabbed my shirt and shoes, and stepped over to Sarah. Staring
into her wide eyes, I knew I had my revenge on her. "Your new boyfriend is
a faggot. He just raped me," I whispered to her face, and turned to leave.

I stopped in front of Todd, and we glared into each other's eyes. "Sarah's
ass is filled with my cum." His eyes flew to her, and I glanced back to see
her turn and stare at the floor in shame. I could tell from his face, he
knew I told the truth.

"Get out of here!" Her words were a scream.

Once I got into my car I opened my cell and typed a message to Ryan.

"I LOVE HOW NICKY SHAVES HER PUSSY. DID YOU NOTICE HOW MUCH CUM I LEFT
INSIDE HER? FROM YOUR FRIEND, ERIC GAY"

I swung by the liquor store on the way out of town. The vodka would numb
me. The day had not gone as I had planned, but I had my revenge on both off
those assholes, and the vodka celebration brought a smile to my face.

But my smile disappeared as I turned into the farm driveway and saw Ryan's
car parked by the house. Every cell in my body turned ice cold as I stopped
my car and turned the ignition off.

"ERIC!" His voice came from the lawn out back of the house. As I turned the
corner there stood Ryan with his arm tightly wound around my little
brother's neck. Sunlight gleamed off a large blade poised at Josh's
jugular.

"Welcome home, faggot!" Ryan's voice made my blood run cold.

"Let him go," I said quietly, as I looked at my brother who was frozen in
fear.

"You think you can fuck with me and get away with it, faggot?" His scream
filled the air around me and caused my ass muscles to clench in fear.

"Please Ryan. Just leave Josh out of this," I pleaded, lowering to my knees
in submission.

"Aww, lookie Josh. Look at your faggot brother! On his knees again like a
good queer. Tell your brother what a faggot he is," he said, pointing at
me.

Barely audible, Josh's voice croaked out a whisper, "Fag."

"Take your clothes off, faggot!" Ryan's order was a command that I knew I
would have to follow. I had gotten my revenge, and now I had to pay a price
for it. It no longer matter what he did to me, as long as Josh was safe. I
wasted no time removing everything and lowering back to my knees again.

"Look at the worthless faggot!" At that moment I saw Josh's elbow slam back
into Ryan's rib cage. It deflected Ryan just long enough for Josh to
scramble over to me and jump into my arms.

"Get the fuck away from us!" I screamed as Josh sobbed into my arms, and I
caressed his hair trying to calm him.

"Look at you faggot! You can't even keep your hands off your little
brother," he laughed as he poised the tip of the knife into Josh's back.

"Stop Ryan! I will do anything. Please, don't hurt my brother," I pleaded
as tears filled my eyes.

Ryan reached down and pulled Josh by his waistband, lifting him out of my
arms and standing him before me.

"Go on, faggot," Ryan's voice was only a whisper as he pointed at my
brother. "Undress him."

I looked at Josh and back at Ryan, as fear gripped me. I knew I had no
choice, so I raised to my knees and started to push Josh's t-shirt up his
chest. Ryan reached over and ripped the shirt over my brother's head. My
hands shook as I undid the jeans, unzipping and tugging them from his
legs. His briefs easily came down with the jeans, and Josh stepped out of
the pant legs and stood before me. My face directly in front of my
brother's cock, and I turned away from it in shame.

I heard the unzipping sound before I heard his Ryan's voice. "Now show your
brother what a queer you are." I looked to my left and saw Ryan standing,
his jeans open at the waist and his familiar cock arched out at me. The
knife still hung in his right hand, reflecting sunlight.

Without hesitation I turned on my knees to Ryan, and took his cock in my
left hand. I opened my mouth as tears ran down my face and I went back to
servicing the him once again. His cock became instantly rigid as I
performed the blow job on him.

Ironically I remember the sound of robins chirping in the trees, as I
sucked. I worked quickly to attempt to bring him to orgasm so I could end
the nightmare. His moaning encouraged me to lick and suck faster, hoping he
would cum. But when I opened my eyes and looked up, I saw Ryan staring over
at my little brother. Josh's cock was no longer limp, but instead pointed
straight up, rigid and aroused.

"Your brother is hard. Guess he's a faggot too,? he said as he spit at my
brother and shoved him to the ground. Then, a fist slammed into the side of
my head, causing me to fall to the grass.

A hand violently grabbed my neck jerking me forward. I was dragged across
the grass and my face was shoved down between Josh's legs. Josh's cock
throbbed before my eyes.

"Go on, faggot. Suck it!" I saw the knife gleam as Ryan raised it to Josh's
chest.

I looked up into Josh's eyes and he nodded for me to proceed. I looked down
at the cock that pulsated before me. As my bottom lip touched the flesh of
his mushroom head it felt like it was white hot. I opened wider and began
to suck my brother's cock.

"Yeah, what a good faggot." Ryan whispered as I heard him start to pleasure
himself next to us.

My eyes stayed shut as I kept screaming in my head that I had to do
whatever I was told. The cock in my mouth felt hard and I closed off my
mind as I performed what I needed to do.

When I opened my eyes I could see Ryan's hand jerking his own cock as his
other hand continued to slide the knife back and forth across Josh's
chest. My eyes looked to my brother.

"Yeah, suck your brother, come on faggot, you are going to drink your
brother's cum," Ryan said, as he pounded his own dick.  The words seemed to
make Josh react because the cock in my mouth became ever more stiff. I
looked up at him and saw Josh's eyes were closed and his head leaned
back. He was in ecstasy. My mind screamed out that I had to stop him. Filth
and disgust filled me as I tried to bite down on Josh's dick to stop his
pleasure. Instead Josh's hands moved forward and gripped my head as he
shoved even harder and began to fuck my mouth. I stared up at him in fear,
unable to stop my brother as he fucked my face.

"Yes, Eric! Fuck Eric! Oh god, drink my cum!" His balls squeezed and I
closed my eyes to take the inevitable. I opened my mouth and shoved his
cock to the back of my throat.

I heard the clang of some sort of metal object hitting something hard. A
weight slammed into my side, causing Josh's cock to pop from my mouth. My
eyes flew open as I look down to see blood on my chest and hands, as
someone laid across me pressing me into the grass. I looked at Josh in fear
for his life, and saw je remained on the lawn, his legs still wide open,
his eyes still closed, his hands clenched, and his cock shooting out ropes
of thick white cum across his chest.

The weight of the body on top of me scrambled off, and I looked up to see
Daniel our farmhand holding a shovel. To my right stood Ryan, trying to
stand with his pants still around his ankles as he held his head with both
hands.

"What the fuck?!" He screamed, as he stared at Daniel in shock.

The shovel fell to the ground as Daniel pounced over me, slamming into Ryan
and they tumbled to the grass. Daniel threw his first punch into Ryan's
face, and another into his side. Standing up over Ryan he kicked out
another blow.

"Get outta here," Daniel said to me. "Take your brother into the house and
lock the door! I will take care of this piece of shit!"

I scrambled up, grabbing Josh up into my arms and ran for the house. I
never stopped until I dropped him onto his bed, and we started to sob in
each other's arms.

Long after our crying had stopped I realized Josh was asleep in my arms,
our bodies pressed together. I shifted and realized the cum on his chest
had dried and fused us together, so I peeled myself off him and tiptoed to
the bathroom. I washed the cum from my chest, and went back to his room to
do the same for him.

When I finally looked out my bedroom window I saw the sun setting and
Ryan's car was gone. Serenity had returned to our family farm. I could not
bring myself to go talk to Daniel and find out what happened. I was too
afraid to know what he has seen, and I couldn't leave my little brother
alone for a second.

As I massage this ointment into him now I'm careful with his
wounds. Sliding the sheet down I look again at his cock and balls and my
mind fills with the memory of what Ryan made me do to my brother. Disgust
fills me as I massage Josh and try to banish everything from my mind. Yet
part of my mind involuntarily fills with the thoughts, sounds, smells, and
taste of Josh. How will I ever forget that moment? How could Ryan have
forced me to do that? How could I have done that to my brother?! The
feelings overwhelm me as I realize how shameful I have been, as I squeeze
more ointment into my hands and begin to massage the last area of my
brother left – his crotch.

Heat from his cock emanates into my hand, up my arm and bicep, spreading
through my chest. I blink back tears as I think about all the pain and fear
he faced today because of me and I ache to take him in my arms and hold him
again. He was so scared as he sobbed against me earlier. I look down and
see that finally he is receiving some pleasure because his cock is
thickening in my grip.

Looking up at his face I see it relax as he sleeps. The tears drip from my
face onto him and I watch my hand as it moves up and down the shaft. I know
in my mind this is wrong, but part of me says to not stop. To give my
brother this gift and help him feel pleasure. To show him I love him and
never meant to hurt him today. I stare at the cock in my hand and I feel an
ache in my body. As though part of me is missing. We had come so close in
that moment of fear. I had brought him such pleasure and yet my whole body
wished I had been able to share the moment of love with him. I can smell
his skin, I can almost taste him again as I lean close. Tears pour from me
as I close my eyes.

The sensations fill my mouth as I suck Josh's cock deep into my throat. My
hands not under my control slide beneath him and raise his ass and hips to
allow me to deep throat as much of him as I can get into my mouth. I cannot
look up at him, I must only give him the pleasure he deserves. I suck
harder and rhythmically perform the shameful act. My own cock betrays me as
I reach down and feel it in my jeans. I unzip and pull my cock from the
confines of my pants, jerking myself to pleasure as I suck my brother's
cock. I know what I am missing. I wanted him to cum today – I must do as
Ryan told me. I have to follow his orders. Ryan told me I needed this.
Maybe, just maybe this last time I should do what Ryan has told me to do. I
HAVE to drink my brother's cum! I feel his balls tighten and a torrent of
hot searing cream fills my mouth and pulsates down my throat. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven blasts of cum explode in my mouth as I
eagerly drink from my brother's cock. The cream tastes of salt and
sweetness as I swallow, aching to drink anything from this cock of my
brother!

Gasping for air, I lean back turning from Josh, unable to look at him. I
run through his door and fly down the hallway into my room. Tearing the
jeans from my body I throw them to the floor and take my cock in my hands,
falling onto my bed. I sob out my pain and disgust for myself, crying into
my pillow. A hand caresses my back.

"Shhh, shhh. No need to cry," the voice whispers. My body shakes as I feel
the hand slide down my back, and over the globes of my ass. A finger slides
between my cheeks and it touches the pucker of my hole. This is not the
touch of a Todd or Ryan, this is a caress of love. The person reaches
between my legs massaging my balls, then further enclosing my cock into the
hand. Then it releases me and returns to my hole and fingers press pass my
tight sphincter and enter my ass.

I gasp as I experience the pain and pleasure. I know this is wrong, because
the hand touching my body like this loves me. Josh loves me like this. Now
he wants to give me comfort in return for what I did to him. My body shakes
as I try to fight off these feelings, I need this sin to stop. But my body
is not my own as I press my ass up to meet the fingers in my hole. Josh!
God I love my brother. Oh my god, we have gone too far. I drank his cum! He
is finger fucking me! Oh my god I know this is wrong, but I want this to
never stop. The pleasure is incredible.

"Josh, oh god Josh! Please, please Josh," my voice whispers into my pillow
as I beg for the worst sin of all.

The tip of his cock presses at my hole and I feel my mouth open to say the
words. My cock, my body, and now my voice betrays me.  "Josh, fuck me!"

The cock slides into me, and the pain is only seconds as pleasure over
takes me.  I raise my ass, giving my little brother complete access as the
cock plows deeper into me and his hands grip my waist. I love my little
brother and I love his big cock buried inside me. I know what this is, I
know we are brothers, but I want it! I need him inside me! His grip at my
waist is strong as the fucking becomes more intense and wild.  Words of
filth and sin spew from my mouth.

"Josh, oh god Josh. Oh fuck yes! Fuck me!  Oh god Josh, I loved drinking
your cum.  Oh God I have wanted your cock for years now.  Oh god, I want
you to cum in my ass little brother! This is wrong. This is wrong! We are
not gay! Josh you have to stop," as my hands reach around and I pull the
body against me, allowing the cock to pierce further inside me.

"Josh? Stop! Josh stop! Oh god - FUCK ME, JOSH!" The words disgust me as I
hear myself, but my body keeps going further.  I cannot stop!

The blast of cum pours into my ass, filling me as his hips slam into me! My
cock jerks and cum sprays up my chest onto my lips as I taste my own
cum. The cum sprays across my sheets as my ass is pounded from behind and I
feel his cum seep from my hole.

Crying, I fall to my pillow in disgust. The shame washes over me as I
realize what we have done. His cock slips from between my legs, and the bed
shifts as he rises off the bed. I turn, and in the moonlight coming through
my bedroom window I see Daniel standing at the foot of my bed, with cum
dripping from the end of his cock.

"Oh my god," I gasp out.

Daniel looks in my eyes and says, "It's ok, Eric. Everything will be ok. I
took care of Ryan. He'll never be back here to hurt you again.

"What?! What the fuck you doing in the house?!" My whisper is a sound of
fear.

"Don't worry. It'll be our secret." Standing in my doorway, I see him bend
and pick up his clothes from the hallway floor. Then he looks again at
me. "I won't ever tell your brother what you did to him. And no one as to
know how you pretended I was Josh fucking you. Just make sure you come out
to my trailer sometimes, and it will be only our secret."  He winks, and
leaves my sight.

The sound of crickets come through my dark window as I listen to the
footsteps descend the stairs and leave the house.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Hope you are enjoying the story. Eric sought out his revenge, but it led
him further down the path of his sexual confusion. Is there way out for
him? Or will he have to live with these secrets, and what will it cost him?
Let's see where his life leads. And I hope along the way it will bring you
a lot of cum pleasure, like it does for me every time I write about
him. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever.  Send them
to mheast111@hotmail.com