Date: Sat, 3 Mar 2001 16:44:49 -0500
From: ultf113 <ultf113@subdimension.com>
Subject: Immersion

Uncopyrighted, conversation-heavy gay fiction, given to the public
domain.  All names are fictional.

<><><><><>

Friday at work.

"Are you doing anything tonight?", asked Carolyn.

"Ummm... Why do you ask?", I replied.  Carolyn had been extra nice to me
for the past two weeks.

"Well... ", she said, "I was hoping you would ask me... out sometime.  I
really like you Chris.  You... are available aren't you?"

This was the worst thing about being a closeted gay guy.  I really
*liked* women.  I knew it took a lot of bravery for them to approach and
make their intentions known.  To have to *reject* the advances of a
beautiful woman like Carolyn was just... unnatural.  I hated to make up
lies.  And the whole co-worker relationship thing was asking for trouble.

"Carolyn... ", I said, taking a breath, "Um.  While I'd love to go out
with you--"

Her eyes grew a bit cold as she interrupted.

"You don't need to finish.  I'm sorry, Chris."

Her straight black hair glistened in the hallway light.  The tailored
powder-blue business outfit she wore--for her moment with me--matched
her dazzling eyes.

"Carolyn.  I've been through this situation so many times", I said,
getting an apologetic little smile.  "The truth is...  If I was
straight...  Dating women would be fine."

She moved her head back half an inch, and her expression turned from
slight sadness to compassionate understanding.

"Chris--I'm really sorry.  I had no idea."

"You're the first person I've ever told."

"Wow...  Congratulations."  She smiled.  There was a light moment of
silence as we thought about what was just said.

"Just out of curiosity," I said, "what is it about... me that you
found... attractive?"

"You don't even know, do you?", she said.  "Chris!  You're the only man
in years to treat me like an equal.  I guess I was... falling in love
with the idea of being together with someone so special.  Your blonde
hair looks so soft.  It's so rare to meet a true gentleman these days--
the fact that you didn't pressure me in the slightest was irresistible!
And... you're not a slob."  She laughed.

Sometimes cliches are true.  I felt like a weight had been lifted from
my shoulders.  With one person, I was out.  And she could handle it.

"Are you still available tonight?", I asked.  "You can see what a no-
pressure evening is like."

"Yeah.  I'm up for it.  You like Chinese?", she asked.

"Love it."

"Tell you what.  We'll get some takeout, then we can spend the evening
at my place.  Better for talking."  She smiled knowingly.

"Sounds fine to me.  And Carolyn..."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for being nice to me.  I hope I wasn't leading you on these past
two weeks."

"No.  That's just how we women do things.  It's just a way for us to be
near someone we're interested in, feel him out, and send some signals."

"So I've noticed.  You can see how awkward these things are for someone
like me?"

"Believe me, I understand.  My own brother is gay."

"Really."

"Yeah.  He came out in college when he was 22.  Three years ago."

"I guess I'm behind schedule."  I was 27.

"Chris, don't worry about it.  It's your private life.  Don't let anyone
tell you how to live it."

<><><><><>

I loved Chinese food.  Sweet and sour pork on a bed of rice with that
clear red sauce--it was close to candy for me.  Carolyn's townhouse was
nice.  Understated, elegant, and warm.  Our small talk flowed.  Since
Carolyn handled my coming out so well, I wanted to take the conversation
deeper.

"If I'd known dating could be like this I might have gone on one or two."

"Are you serious?  This is your first date?", asked Carolyn.

"Yes, I am serious."  I felt like laughing though.  "It's one of the
things I'm proudest of.  I didn't want to be one of those guys who winds
up getting married, then has it all fall apart 25 years later."

"You have a point", she said, finishing her egg roll.  "Have you *ever
had* a bad egg roll?", she asked.

"No."

"I wonder why that is.  It's like they're the perfect food."

"So Carolyn," I asked, "what's... your dating history?"  I smiled.

"Welllll, I've had two serious loves.  Dated some creeps.  I've been
rejected a few times.  All in all, I'm... still looking for the One."

"What is real love... like?"

"Haven't you..."

"Look, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm... well-traveled, if you
know what I mean.  The first time I was turned on by a guy, It took me
two years to deal with it."

"Whoa.  Well Chris, real love...  It's just the best, most wonderful
thing."  She closed her eyes as she relived her experiences.  "Once you
know how good love is...  You have to have it in your life.  You know?"

I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I think so.  That's one of things about gay culture that made it
difficult to accept myself.  The sexual side of it seemed to overwhelm
any possibility for true... emotional connections.  Every gay
autobiography I read had incidents with total strangers in public
bathrooms.  And to me, that's just... Yuck."

"Oh, man."

"And all these stories about guys with 400 partners a year?  That's just
taking it way too far.  It was almost impossible to find any mention of
heartfelt love on the gay internet."

"Chris... Are you telling me...  You're still a virgin?"

"Is that something to be ashamed of?"

"Hell no.  I think it's wonderful.  Tell me.  About that first guy who
turned you on."

I'd told this story to myself so many times.  It would feel so good to
finally say it out loud.  I took a deep breath and began.

"I was a Senior in high school, working on the school paper.  I was
showing a Sophomore guy how to lay out stories on the computer.  I'm not
a leader.  I'm not that great at communicating.  But working with Seth
was such a pleasure.  He was so bright, and he picked up on everything
right away.  And he was so... beautiful.  Deeply tanned.  Tall and thin.
Clean clothes and a long-sleeved white cotton shirt with buttons.
Short, slightly curly dark brown hair.  His eyes...  I'd never looked
into anyone else's eyes before, but his dark eyes were so soulful and
friendly.  And his voice.  So smooth and clear."

"Anyway, he's sitting at the computer, and I'm right behind him,
reaching over his shoulder to point to things on the screen, and we're
talking, and teaching him how simple the system was was so easy.  And
I'm real close to him, and after I showed him how the text automatically
wrapped around an ad graphic as I moved the mouse, he smiled up at me.
Totally gorgeous.  And I just felt great.  My heart started beating
faster.  And I started..."

"It's okay, I'm a grownup", said Carolyn.  "Go on."

"I started to get an erection.  For him.  It felt so good.  It was the
very first time that had ever happened to me.  I thought to myself, 'Now
I know how girls feel', because before that point I had no idea why
girls bothered to get involved with guys, crude and clueless as we
were.  Especially teenage guys, with acne, bad hair, and those awful
mustaches that never seemed to grow in."

"Mmm hmmm", she said, stifling a laugh.

"And my erection grew harder.  Suddenly all the programming of society
kicked in.  I was worried he might see.  For that moment of attraction,
I had forgotten I was a guy, but now I remembered, and knew it was wrong
to feel this way.  So I shut myself down.  My most treasured, beautiful
feeling, and I shut it down."

"Wow."

"It was just like Cupid had fired his arrow.  For five... timeless...
seconds, I felt the warmth of love... desire...  He was so beautiful and
kind."

"That is so sad."

"And the saddest thing is how I avoided him from then on.  I was so
afraid of that feeling coming back I couldn't even look at him.  I
didn't even want to name my feeling.  And he would say Hi to me in the
halls, and I would barely glance at his friendly face.  I hate to think
what he must have thought of me."

"When I got to college, I would be masturbating, and all I could
fantasize about was him.  It was hard work to fantasize about girls, and
I would often just have completely blank-minded mechanical orgasms in
the shower.  My orgasms came so quickly and easily when I imagined him
being with me, though.  Then I would tell myself, 'Okay, that was just a
fantasy, it doesn't mean anything.'  I was totally split off from my own
emotions."

"Chris.  Have you ever told anyone this before?", she asked as she got
up from the table and kneeled next to me.

"No.  I've kept everything important inside the whole time.  Not a great
way to deal with things, but... "

"Listen.  Confide in me.  Whatever you say stays here.  To think of the
burdens you've been carrying..."

We looked into each other's eyes.  We hugged, and I felt so good.  She
was so soft, and her perfume was just heavenly.

"Carolyn.  I've never talked about my feelings, or my life, with
anyone.  Thank you.  You're a true friend."

"Chris, I think you're wonderful."  For a long time, she looked me in
the eye.  I don't know, but I think there was a trace of admiration in
her expression.

"Carolyn... You're so good to listen", I said.

"So how did you finally deal with everything?", she asked, going back to
sit on her side of the table.

"I just avoided the topic.  Even though it was on my mind constantly.  I
would look at girls as I walked around campus.  If I noticed they were
pretty, I would say to myself, 'that proves it, I'm straight.  Now it's
settled.'  But I would have to keep proving it three or four times a
week.  Eventually, I got my own apartment off campus."

"Getting out of the... incestuous atmosphere of the dorms was a relief.
It was quiet enough to actually think for a change.  No pressure to add
to dining hall conversations.  No need to wear the mask.  I still
masturbated about Seth, and one day found myself saying "I am so gay" as
I played with my cock.  That was it.  With those words, I knew it was
true.  It wasn't just a fantasy.  And then...  My life made sense."

"It was really like my mind became unified.  The split was over.  I *was
so gay.*  I wasn't the same as the straight guys.  And all these little
memories came back from the time before Seth."

"It turns out I *had* noticed other guys before.  Little flashes of
breathtaking beauty, even from an early age.  Suddenly I remembered all
those moments.  And I finally understood where all the "sissy, fag,
queer" name-calling came from in elementary school.  I thought they were
just ignorant jerks trying to hurt me, but they picked up on my...
deviation from... normal boyishness, I guess."

"People hurt you?", asked Carolyn.

"It wasn't so bad.  I was never beaten up.  I guess, maybe six or seven
times in school some kid would start taunting me.  I did not understand
it at the time.  It hurt."

"My brother could tell the same story", said Carolyn.  "It was so...
stupid to take someone I knew was full of love and hope and wonder and
send him off to be treated like garbage.  Just a little kid."

"Is he doing well now?"

"Yeah.  Out in silicon valley, working on fiber optics.  He seems fine
as far as I can tell.  But I've never talked to him the way we've
talked."

"You know, I hate playing the victim.  I'd much rather look ahead to
better times."

"To better times", she said.  We clinked our wine goblets together.

<><><><><>

I used to think coming out was a bunch of crap.  I had already known
rejection and scorn.  Why invite more?  The night with Carolyn changed
me.  For the first time, I was completely honest.  I felt clean.  If
anyone should have felt shame, it was the heterosexual society endlessly
trying to recruit me into their lifestyle, to the sick point of setting
up 7th grade dances.  Ugh!

I was on my own.  I had money.  Hell, if I had a boyfriend, my company
would provide insurance coverage for him.  I was 27.  I couldn't stand
the thought of leading the double life a day longer.

I wrote letters to my family, stating the simple truth.  I didn't ask
for their approval.  I just told them so I didn't have to lie anymore.
It was so weird talking to my mom on the phone a few days later.  Even
though I didn't want to explain my gayness (did straight guys have spend
years thinking about how to announce their orientation to their
families?), we had a civilized 45 minute conversation.  She still loved
me.

It was time for my two week vacation.  I decided to go to the Gulf Coast
of Florida, since I loved the calm, 83 degree water in May.  There was
no pressure to get out there and go gay-crazy.  Just enjoying the
beaches and hotel would be enough.  As I made the reservations and
booked my flight, I kept thinking to myself, 'I am an openly gay man
now.'  Sounded strange, but good too.

I didn't know anyone in Florida, so I didn't have to act straight.  I
didn't flaunt my sexuality, but I didn't care what people thought.  I
went to a surf shop near the hotel and bought my first Speedo.  Black
with a purple and white off-center starburst design in front.  There was
no way I would go home with baggy-trunks tan lines.

The same relief I felt after I came out to myself in college returned as
I put on the Speedo in the hotel room and stepped out on the terrace.  I
looked out on the grey-green water and felt the cool breeze slip
smoothly over my body.  Two seagulls drifted over the waving palm
fronds, close enough to touch.  5 or 6 people were on the sunny beach,
with 3 people swimming in the half-foot waves.

To me, the ideal male form is the bicycle racer.  Light, toned, and
powerful.  Firm muscles, but not to the point of bulging.  While I
wouldn't say I was in peak condition, I enjoyed stretching and exercise,
and 3 times per week strength training with 5 pound dumb bells gave me
the loveliness I sought.

I put on my sandals, got a towel, and grabbed the room key.  With my new
$8.00 sunglasses from the airport and tube of sunscreen, I walked into
the newly carpeted golden-beige hall.  Nobody knew me, and that meant
freedom.  I strode down the stairs, past the indoor pool, and through
the lobby.  Finally, I made it to the little hall that led to the
beach.  The hot sun and cool breeze balanced perfectly.  The Speedo gave
me perfect freedom of movement as I crossed the palm-tree lined sidewalk.

I found a nice spot on the endless beach and put my towel down.  I took
off the sandals and began rubbing on the sunscreen.  Huge seagulls
walked around, unafraid of the beachgoers.  The happy, light blue sky
was 1/3d full of bright cumulus clouds.  I sat there, nearly naked,
putting on the cocoa-butter lotion.  Everything was calm, but I was
excited.  It was great to feel no inner conflict.  I had the freedom to
truly be myself for a change.

After a relaxing 90 minutes of tanning, I took a long look at the
water.  The winter tourist season was over, so I took a chance and left
my room key under my sandals.  I stepped over the hot sand and made it
to the edge of the Gulf of Mexico.

It was hard to tell the warm water was there as it washed over my feet.
I could feel it moving, but it was so invitingly gentle, it slipped over
me like magic.  I waded in.  With absolutely no hesitation, I kneeled
down fully in the 3-foot deep sea, 25 feet from shore.  The warm waves
gently pushed against my chest and shoulders.  I closed my eyes with the
delicious oneness of it all.

If you've never bathed in a tropical ocean, let me help you understand
it.  Think of a bathtub, with the water at just the right temperature.
It feels good, but in 15 minutes it cools down and you have to add more
hot water.  In the sea, the thousands of gallons surrounding you stay
hot all the time.  You feel lighter in crystal clear salt water.  Bright
sunlight shimmers and sparkles all around.  Beautiful golden-brown
stingrays flutter over the golden sand.  Puffers and Trunkfish swim near
to investigate you.  When you stand up in the breeze, it makes you feel
chilly, and you instinctively return to the warm immersion of the gentle
ocean.  You never want to leave the perfection of it all.  And since
it's the ocean all the way to the infinite horizon, you can let loose
and pee with total freedom.

I repositioned myself, extending my legs forward and holding my weight
with my fingertips in the sand.  The little waves washed around my
neck.  All the office work of the past year was worth it for this
moment.  As I closed my eyes and felt the sun, I heard the sound of legs
walking through water.

I turned slowly and opened my eyes.  A man in an aqua blue Speedo was
walking toward me, smiling.  Was he a dream?  He looked like he walked
out of a catalog.  That friendly, non-threatening, wholesome
masculinity.  I smiled back as I kneeled down again.

"Great day to be alive, isn't it?", he asked, kneeling down by my side.

"Perfection", I replied.

"Adam Lake", he said, extending his handshake underwater.

"Chris Jansen", I said.  No straight guy would act the way Adam was
acting.  What a hunk.  His medium-length, Harry Hamlin-style haircut was
well proportioned for his strong face.

"What brings you to Florida?", I asked.

"The sea was calling me", he answered, maintaining eye contact for a
good three seconds.

I had my signal.  We sat together for 4 quiet minutes in the peaceful
Gulf.

"Adam."

"Yes?"

I touched the top of his hand.

"Would you care to have dinner with me this evening?"

"Only if you're gay", he said.

I smiled and laughed.

"What about you?", I asked.  He looked at me with his lively blue-green
eyes.

"What tipped you off?", he asked.

I put my arm around his shoulder and side-hugged him in.

"Good to meet you, Adam.  Love that suit of yours."

Nobody knew us.  Adam freely kissed me on the cheek.  It felt perfect.

"Great day to be alive, Chris."

We made our way to shallower water and lied back, side to side, letting
the waves break inches above our bodies.  Mmmmm, everything was
perfect.  I snuggled close and kissed the side of his left breast.  A
few moments later, I rolled on top of him.  Our cocks touched through
the wet Speedos.  We relaxed together, two gay guys simply enjoying
ourselves.  Nobody made a fuss, and I stayed on top, playfully making
out with him for 20 minutes.

<><><><><>

We dressed casually for our date.  Sandals, shorts, and Hawaiian
shirts.  We found a seaside bar with outdoor dining.  The torches grew
brighter as the glorious sunset faded.

Neither of us ordered alcohol.  As I enjoyed my fried fish dinner, I
asked,

"Have you ever been in love, Adam?"

"Love?  Oh yes."  He looked down for a moment.

"Let me be honest," I said, "This is my first gay date.  There were a
million reasons to delay my life, to live outside the straight and gay
worlds."

Adam nodded.  I continued.

"I came out to everyone last month.  I'm 27, work for a publishing
company in Chicago, and... intend to keep taking things slow."

"Being honest.  Rare.  Let me tell you, Chris, my gay life has been...
repressed.  I came out... was outed when I was 17.  I'm an oil-company
engineer.  Offshore.  I can't be out at work, you understand."

"Sure."

"You asked me about love.  The reason I approached you was you reminded
me of my first love.  When I saw you walk through the hotel lobby
today...  You were so beautiful and familiar.  Tommy was so special to
me, and just seeing a little of him in you was... powerful."  Adam began
to look serious.

"Can I ask what happened to Tommy?"

Adam took a long pause.

"Suicide.  His sister's friend caught us together and told the whole
school...  His car crashed into an oncoming semi two nights later...  What
we had was so good, but...  I don't know.  I think... No, I know he was
the only one I truly loved."

I didn't know what to say.  Slow reggae music played and people carried
on conversations.

"Come on", I said, getting up.

We danced closely in the warm night.  Starlight sparkled on the water.
The hotel towers gleamed beautifully down the coast.

"Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me more about love."

He smiled.  We paid our bill and walked along the dark beach.  Beautiful
strands of head and tail lights glided over the highway as traffic
whooshed by.

"Our love was pure.  Of course it was the rush of our first sexual
adventure, but we did more kissing than sex, to tell you the truth.  The
way he looked at me.  How we got lost in each other, so happy we had
found such bliss.  I remember Tommy.  So young and beautiful.  His
laugh."

"How long did you two--"

"Oh, a year and a half.  We were tight.  We thought we had it figured
out.  We would go to college and room together, then share an apartment
in Tampa when we got jobs.  But the more we grew in love...  The more
important it was to be together."

"On our last day together, we did something we had done a hundred
times.  We were just taking a nap together in his bedroom.  It gets so
hot in the early summer, so we would get naked and take a siesta with
the shades closed and ceiling fan on.  The way the sunlight hit the
woven reed curtain and softly lit our bodies was...  Just right.  Only
on this day, one of us forgot to lock the door.  I was holding him.  We
were both peacefully asleep.  Then we heard high-pitched laughter."

My stomach turned and felt like a black cloud.

"Katie Denning caught us.  It was the most hilarious thing in the world
to her.  She said, 'I can't fucking believe you two!'  From perfect
peace and contentment to absolute powerless exposure.  A rude awakening
would be an understatement.  It was like Tommy died right there.  He was
crying and shaking.  And there wasn't a damn thing we could do.  Strong
as I was, there was no way to protect him.  I didn't even think about
myself."

I held Adam's hand.  We kept walking.  And I thought my life was rough.

"Tommy sounds like he was a great guy."

"Yeah.  My one and only.  Sorry, this can't be a very romantic night for
you."

"Adam...  I'm not thinking about that now."

We walked in silence for a minute.  The traffic kept flowing.

"Chris."

"Yes?"

"On the oil rigs, I do 10 weeks on, 3 weeks off.  Do you want to
vacation together?"

I thought about it.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Renting a boat.  Exploring the coast.  Just spending time together.
Innocent time."

"I'd love that."

We stopped and faced each other.  I rose a little on tip toes to kiss
him.  He held me in the gentle southwest breeze.

<><><><><>

The 18 foot fiberglass powerboat cruised over the rushing waves, leaving
a spreading wake of white foam.  There were only two other boats on the
horizon.  I held him from behind as he steered.  The wind and spray
charged the air.  We only wore Speedos and sunglasses.  There was enough
food and water aboard for five days.  There was a cozy bedroom down
below for us.

Adam turned us away from the coast, far from the towering hotels and
condominiums.  In a few moments, we were in 30 feet of water and the
buildings on shore looked like toys.  He killed the engine, and the
silence was immense.  I went up front to lower the anchor.  The 7 knot
wind felt delicious on my body.  Adam ran his fingers through his waving
hair and smiled my way.  He looked so cool in those mirrored sunglasses.

The boat spun slowly as we drifted toward shore.  I had to hug him.

"I want to be safe when the anchor line pulls tight."

"Good thinking."

"It's so good to be with you, Adam."

The happy clouds were the same as our first day together.  The weather
pattern would stay the same for the next few days.  Adam held me tighter
as the boat made a slightly stronger turn and faced into the wind.  The
anchor was set.  It was 10:00 A.M.

"I'm going to put up the shade", said Adam.

I helped him erect the stainless steel framework and mount the off-white
canvas shade.  The diffused light was wonderful, and we had a good two
feet of headroom.  I looked around, enjoying the calm seascape.

We went aft to sit down together in the curving white bench.  No one was
around for miles.

"I hope you don't mind, but... ", I said.  I slipped my Speedo down and
let it roll down and off my ankles.  I stood nude in the fresh daylight.

"Good idea", said Adam.  I smiled as I watched him.  He knew I was
watching, so he put on a little show.  Taking his time, he slowly took
out the white nylon waistband strings and untied them.  Then he put his
thumbs inside the suit and pulled.  Only down a quarter inch.

"I need some help", he said.  I immediately formed the biggest grin of
my life.

"Oh, let me see what the trouble is."

I kneeled down in front of him.  His body looked so good, rocking with
the boat in front of the opulent little buildings on the coast.  Even
with high powered telescopes, they couldn't see our nudity.

I reached my hand forward and softly pressed the center of his bulging
package.  With both my hands I ran my fingers up from the base of his
crotch, over his penis, to the sides of his waist.  I looked up at him,
and saw myself reflected in his lenses.  He had a friendly grin.

The boat kept rocking as I pulled down the top of his blue Speedo.  Soon
the stretchy suit was half scrunched down.  His tan line was adorable.
Down I pulled, revealing his closely clipped pubic hair, just like
mine.  When the top of his shaft was just visible, I reached around to
gently pull down from behind.

"Chris, you are VERY helpful", he said.

I caressed his firm buns as I freed them from the suit.  His hardon held
the front in place.  I kissed his penis through the lycra, then pulled
the beautiful fabric off.  Adam's dick sprang free, and my nose was
greeted with his delicate, distinctive scent.  I took my time pulling
the suit down to his knees, then let it fall to the deck.  He stepped
out of it and I stood up.

I took off his sunglasses and set them in the drink holder next to
mine.  I loved the feeling of total freedom, standing naked in the
breezy sunlight.  Adam looked so good under the bright canvas, with
flickering ripples shining up from the water.  I couldn't get enough of
how incredible his Speedo tan pattern was.  He was a beautiful dream
come true.

"Adam, how did you get so smooth?"

"Just shaving every two days."

His legs were incredible, especially how the muscles at the front of his
thighs tapered into the top of his knees.

"Can you do me?"

"Anything you ask, sweetheart."

With a sponge, a bowl of water from the solar shower, and Edge shaving
gel, Adam lathered me up.  One leg at a time, he shaved me smooth with a
bright yellow disposable razor.  I relaxed and followed his commands to
change position every so often.  In 20 unforgettable minutes, he
finished shaving my legs, arms, back, chest, and ass.  When he started
on my balls and shaft, I yielded to him with surprise.  He left 3/4ths
of my pubic hair, just cleaning up around the edges.  He was very
cautious and careful, and I didn't get cut.

"There, all done.  Let's go for a swim."

"All right!"

We tied a 20 foot safety line to the stern and stepped out onto the
diving platform.  I carried a 5 foot long bright green foam noodle swim
toy.  He jumped in, then came up with a smile.  I was more cautious.  I
slowly sat down, then slid in after getting comfortable with my legs in
the water.  I turned and splashed some seawater to rinse away the
leftover lather from the platform.

God, I felt so free in the water!  With no leg hair, it was hard to tell
my body was even there.  The warm fluid swirled around us in exquisite
pleasure.  I held the safety line and positioned the bendy, thick foam
cylinder between my legs and floated with it half in front, half in
back.  Adam used his arms to swim closer to me.

"Do you love me?", he asked.

"Yes", I answered, without hesitation.  I was completely turned on being
nude and smooth in the sparkling water.  This was the furthest from
shore I had ever swam, but I felt totally safe with Adam there.

Adam joined me on the float and touched the tops of my legs.  His hands
felt so good.  How could I have spent years forsaking the touch of love?

Adam took the line from my hand and quickly tied it around his waist.  I
had to hold his shoulders to maintain contact with the boat.

"Turn around, please", he said.

I turned, and he helped guide me back so we sat touching.  After he
kissed the side of my neck, Adam held me tight around the chest.

"Here we are", he said.

I looked down to see my totally hard dick freely waving around in the
bright water.  Adam held my chest with his left arm and reached down to
my navel with his right hand.  Lower and lower, he caressed his way to
my waiting love tool.

The sun shined down on us as he grasped on and slowly began masturbating
me.  I was in heaven.  The entire ocean of heat surrounded us.  We rose
and fell with the steady foot tall waves.  It felt so good to receive
this pleasure and maintain my balance on the float as he held me close.
Faster and faster he went, pumping up and down on my erection.  No one
was around for miles, so I used the freedom to breathe and make sex
sounds without a care.

"Ah... Ahhh...  Ooooh...  Adam.  Yes", I moaned.

I reached my hands down and around his legs to pull him closer.  It felt
like I could go forever.  My thighs clamped hard on the foam tube
below.  Naturally, the pleasure began.  My upper legs started tingling.
My smooth legs!  I was breathing harder and harder.  I stared up into
the blue and white perfection of heaven.  My ass tightened as the
passionate fire engulfed me.  With absolutely no concern about where to
come, I came.  I watched the smoky white come shoot out four inches into
the clear water, then spread into a squiggly line and drift shoreward.
Oh, how my urethra loved the pressure inside!  Some orgasms are bigger
than others.  This was at least twice as big as my best.  I collapsed in
jet after jet of hot ejaculation.

Adam kissed me.  He kept holding my softening penis.  He waved it a few
times to shake away any leftover come.

"Mmmmm.  Adam."

He turned me around, and I weakly submitted to his guidance.  We
embraced tightly, still bobbing with the gentle waves.

"I love you", I said.

Adam's hard dick pressed into my balls as I sat atop his thighs.  I
reached down to hold on to him as I slowly recovered my energy.  Sitting
face to face, I jacked him off while I kissed him and tasted his salty
skin.  I inhaled his fibrous, smoky cocoa butter fragrance.  We were
experts at balancing now.  In the four inch gap between our waists, I
did him with a simple jack off pump.

Adam's thighs stiffened under mine.  I felt his hands explore my ass,
and he pressed and rubbed his middle finger around my perineum and
hole.  My toes curled as I pumped him, my body moved wildly, letting the
waves rush over my chin at times.

"Chris.  My love.  Ooohhhh.  God yes.  Ah.  Ah...  Aaaah...  Oh!
Oooooooaaaaahhhhh... ... ..."

Adam came.  I loved squeezing his shooting dick.  His come flowed around
me, never sticking.  I held him close, then slipped down off his legs.
We floated together, our bodies vertical.  We mutually explored a
kingdom of kisses.  Holding him felt so great.  The real world slowly
returned.

I always have to pee after coming, so I let loose, pressing close to
Adam.  He smiled as he felt the 98.6 degree cloud of warmth on his
skin.  It was the first time I kissed, hugged, and peed at the same
time.  I could love Adam forever.  Moments later, Adam peed for me.  The
tide rinsed us clean.

"I love you.  I love you, Adam."

"Chris, I never believed I could feel this good again.  I love you."

There were no boats around.  Just us, together in love.  We pulled the
line and made our way back to the boat.  We sat together on the dive
platform for a long time, enjoying the shade and still air.

Adam and I spent the rest of the day nude.  I never felt so relaxed.  As
vacations go, this was five stars.  We showered off the salt, carefully
toweled one another dry, and had a long talk under the canvas shade.  He
held me close as we revealed and shared who we were.

We spent the next 5 days exploring the coast and each other.  We found a
secluded cove of Mangrove mazes, and spent hours swimming and playing
nude.  We took long naps in the boat's cabin.  We played his handheld
digital Scrabble game, with a rule that all our words would be love and
sex related.  On the fourth day, we laid on deck as hot, fat raindrops
gushed down all around us.  The sea turned grey and flat, and we were
entirely hidden from shore by the curtains of rain.  Florida storms are
brief, but incredible.

And that's the story of my first time.  To this day, mutual masturbation
is my favorite form of intimate love.

<><><><><>

Back north a few months later, I had an e-mail from Adam.  Loving a man
on a corporate oil rig 150 miles from shore wasn't easy, but we kept in
close contact as best we could.  The message wasn't encrypted, which was
a nice change.

"From: Adam Lake <a_lake@energyconsortium.net>
Subject: I'm out!

Dear Chris;

Well, it happened.  I had gotten so sick of one driller's constant anti-
gay "humor" after he was here a week.  Thinking of you, thinking of
Tommy's spirit, hoping he could hear me from whatever place he's in, I
stood up to him in front of everyone in the cafeteria.  Everyone knows
now.  And I don't care about the consequences.  I'm sure they make crude
little jokes when I'm not there, but they have no idea what our Love
means to me.  I love you.

Adam

P.S.  I arranged to rent the same boat for our next vacation.  Love you!

<><><><><>