Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2001 11:30:57 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Stevens <rustynail920@yahoo.com>
Subject: In the Direction of Happiness - Part 6
The following is property of the author. Permission to post
is granted to Nifty Archives.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to
individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence. Do no read
this story if man-to-man romance or sex offends you. Do
not read if you are underage according to laws in the
country, state/province, county, city/town/village or
township where you live.
This is a love story. I've attempted to create a tale where
the characters are involved in living life to its fullest.
Although sex is part of this story, so are romance, pain and
self-realization.
Ever since I was a little boy I've loved the Spanish
language and the traditional Mexican culture. I suppose
that's why I've chosen to incorporate the language into my
story. I ask both your forgiveness and your indulgence for
any atrocities that I may have committed in the writing of
this lovely language. The effort has forced me to call all
the way back to the two years of Spanish I studied in high
school, which in my case, was more than a few years ago.
I hope you enjoy the tale.
I like to receive e-mail and will attempt to answer all
messages. Mail to: rustynail920@yahoo.com
IN THE DIRECTION OF HAPPINESS - PART 6
Chapter 17 - Dan and Gary
Dan was waiting for me when I arrived home. One look
at his face and I could tell he had been worrying about me.
"Dan, I'm sorry. You've been worried haven't you?"
"Well of course I have. It's not like I care about you or
anything. What in hell is going on?"
I told him. He agreed to move in with me until the
"fuckers" were captured or Mark was here, whichever came
first. He informed me that he was going to go home in the
morning to pick up some things he would need, including
his gun. That alarmed me greatly. I've never liked guns
and frankly I was afraid to have one around me. Dan
assured me that he knew how to use it and would only do
so if he were left with no other option. After considerable
debate, I agreed.
I could tell that something else was on his mind.
"Is there something you want to talk about, I sense that
you have something on your mind?"
"Well, yes," he said sheepishly.
"What is it?"
Instead of answering he walked into the kitchen and
poured himself some iced tea.
"Can I get you anything?" he called.
"Yes, I want you to talk with me," I called back to him.
He walked back in and sat on the couch. He snuggled
next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder.
"I want you to be totally honest with me about
something," he said.
"Alright, I'm always totally honest with you. What is it?"
"I think Gary is really handsome. He is so masculine
looking, like you and Mark.
"He is a hunk," I replied.
"I'm still in love with you Steve, but."
"But?"
"Well, I have a crush on Gary. Now that I know he's Gay,
I'd like to ask him out. Do you think he would be
interested in me?"
"I do know that Gary likes you very much. He's told me
so. But Gary doesn't date much."
"Why is that?"
"Gary had a lover for several years. When the relationship
failed, he put up walls. He once told me that he wouldn't
risk the heartbreak of a failed relationship again. I don't
think he has been with a man the entire time that I've
known him.
I just can't figure him out. With his gorgeous looks and
wonderful personality he could get any man he wanted. I
don't think he realizes what he has going for himself. If
he'd get over his fear of being hurt, he'd make an excellent
partner. He's loyal, considerate and very passionate.
Frankly, I'd love to see the two of you together."
"Why did he and his partner breakup?"
"I really don't know, he's never told me.
"I thought he told you everything."
"He normally does. I do know that the guy is fifteen years
younger. Gary told me that he loves motorcycles and has
an active social life. Gary is more like you and I. I
suspect their personality differences had much to do with
the breakup."
"What do you think I should do?"
"I'm having lunch with Gary tomorrow. Would you be
embarrassed if I told him of your interest? He will be
honest with me."
"Yeah, I'd really appreciate it man. Thanks."
"Not a problem."
"Any possibility of me talking you into some sex right
now?"
"Not real likely buddy."
"Then I'm going to bed with father palm and his five sons.
I love you Steve, goodnight." He gave me a light kiss on
my lips and walked into the guestroom.
"I love you too. Good night Dan," I called after him.
I awakened early and confused. I had evidently slept
deeply, and momentarily couldn't remember what day of
the week it was or what I needed to do. As the events of
the day before came rushing back to me, I felt a vague
sense of foreboding. Since Brad had not called, I knew he
would be in touch this morning.
I had plans to meet Gary for lunch and was looking
forward to it. Because of our schedules I hadn't had the
opportunity to see him for the last two months. I also
needed to call Mark. Of course I was excited to talk with
him but was apprehensive about telling him what transpired
with Sarah and Miguel. I knew he would start worrying. I
should have called him last night but was hoping I'd have
more information from Brad.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and began daydreaming
about Mark. I had only been home for two days and I
already missed him terribly. I missed sleeping with him. I
longed to put my arms around his strong body and kiss his
beautiful lips.
I guess we all have our own unique scent. Sitting in my
kitchen with the windows open and a slight breeze blowing
the curtains, I caught the scent of the moist, dew-kissed
earth outside. Mixed with the fragrance of the Blue Gum
Eucalyptus, it reminded me of Mark. Clean and exciting. I
missed his laughter and mischievous grin.
Lost in thought, I jumped when the phone rang at
precisely 9:00 a.m. I checked caller I.D. and recognized
Brad's phone number.
"Hello Brad, this is Steven."
"Good morning Steven, you must have caller I.D.," he
chuckled.
"I do. Some calls I'd rather let the answering machine
pick up."
"Well thanks for picking up mine. I have news and it
isn't good. I checked with the Santa Fe police and learned
quite a bit about Gilberto Cantaneda and his friends.
Evidently they have a list of arrest warrants as long as my
arm. In their wake they have left a trail of misery including
rape, kidnapping, armed robbery and illegal drug
trafficking. Their crimes have been senseless and vicious.
One of their victims was gang raped and left for dead.
Fortunately she survived, but will bear the physical and
emotional scars for the rest of her life. I'm worried about
you Steven. These men will stop at nothing."
"Not exactly the news I was hoping for Brad. Where do
we go from here?"
"Because their threats have been aimed at homosexuals, I
can remain involved. Among other things, this is being
considered a hate crime. In addition to their crimes in New
Mexico they are alleged to have held up a liquor store in
Kingman, Arizona and the vandalism of the Ortiz home in
Los Angeles. Their crime spree has crossed state lines and
the FBI may become involved. We'll have to see about
that. Sarah and Miguel allowed us to put them in protective
custody last night. For their safety, and yours, I can't tell
you where they're located, but you can communicate
through me."
"Brad, this is terrible. Are they okay? They must be so
frightened."
"They are. Miguel is concerned about losing his job but
I've assured him that the L.A.P.D. will intervene on his
behalf if necessary. They both send you their love and
gratitude. They are worried about you Steven, and so am I.
We are going to increase the frequency of street patrols
around your home but there is only so much the police can
do to protect you. Is it possible for you to get out of town
for awhile?"
"Not really. Besides, I'd be leaving my employees in
danger. I'd be worried sick about them."
"You're right. I want to meet Dan and any other
employees you have. Can you get everybody together so I
can meet them? Today, if possible."
"I have an early lunch date but will be home around 2:00
this afternoon. When I get back Dan will leave to make
deliveries but should be back around 4:00."
"That's fine. Can I come by about 4:00?"
"Yes, I'd like that very much. I only have one other
employee and I'll ask her to join us. Her name is Karen
Vernon."
"Good. Does Karen ever work alone?"
"Yes, but not often."
"For the time being that isn't a good idea. Can you adjust
schedules so somebody is with her at all times?"
"Sure. I spoke with Dan last night and he has agreed to
move in with me until this blows over. He also wants to
bring his gun. I'm nervous about that. He says he knows
how to use it and would only do so if left with no other
options. He's a levelheaded man. What do you think?"
"Let him. I'm not supposed to say that, but I'll feel better
knowing he has it."
"How can I ever thank you?"
"Just help me install my sprinkler system and keep
yourself safe.
"It's a deal. Thank you Brad. I'll see you at 4:00."
As hard as I tried to not become nervous, it wasn't
working. Before leaving to see Gary I took Dan aside.
"Do you think I should close the nursery until this blows
over?"
"No. We just have to be extra careful. I doubt they will
try anything during the day and I'll be with you at night.
As long as Karen is not left alone we should be fine. Have
you ever fired a gun?"
"Yes. As a kid my father would take me to San
Francisquito Canyon and we'd shoot at bottles. He had a
.22 caliber rifle and revolver. It was fun, but of course the
bottles didn't shoot back."
"Would you know how to use my gun if you needed to?"
"I hope so. When Brad is here this afternoon perhaps the
two of you can give me some pointers."
"That's a good idea."
"I'm worried about leaving you here. Would you like me
to cancel with Gary?"
"Absolutely not. I'll be fine; besides, I'm expecting you to
get some important information for me. Do you
remember? There was a sly grin on his face."
"Remember what?"
He was about to remind me of our conversation when he
saw the glint in my eyes.
"Asshole."
"Be careful Dan. Call Brad if you suspect anything at
all."
I hugged and kissed him goodbye then headed for
Pasadena.
Gary lives in a modest neighborhood, by Pasadena
standards, with lovely-established landscaping and obvious
pride of ownership. The street is narrow and winds
gracefully up a steep hill that always gives me the
impression of San Francisco. A majestic Brazilian pepper
tree shades the front of his house and flowering shrubs are
tastefully scattered throughout his numerous flowerbeds.
Gary has three cats and two dogs. The backyard is
completely fenced and the dogs have free run. As I
approached the concrete walkway I noticed all three cats
sitting in windowsills patiently watching the day unfold.
The dogs proudly announced my arrival and Gary stepped
out onto the front porch.
Seeing his smiling, handsome face, I realized how much I
had missed him. He was wearing a pair of Levi's with no
shirt or shoes. For late November the weather had been
unseasonably warm so I wasn't surprised. When I met
Gary he was forty years old. Today, eleven years later, he
still looks the same. He's kept himself in great shape and
paid attention to his appearance. I marveled at his near
washboard stomach and muscular chest. To my knowledge
he didn't belong to a gym and I had no idea how he stayed
so fit.
We embraced and held each other for a few moments. He
looked relaxed and happy.
"Gary, it's so good to finally get back together. I've
missed you."
Patting his flat stomach I asked him how he stayed in such
good shape.
"I don't know, I've never had a weight problem. It's good
to see you too. Lunch is ready when you are. Let's take
advantage of this weather and eat outside. We have so
much to talk about."
Eating outside at Gary's means eating in the driveway. It's
actually quite nice. Because his backyard belongs to the
dogs, he has a picnic table and umbrella set up at the back
of his driveway. Shaded by huge pine trees, which are
usually filled with songbirds, you get the feeling that you
are eating in a park. His barbecue sits near the table and I
noticed that the coals were already red hot.
"What can I do to help Gary"
"Why don't you fix us something to drink. Help yourself
to whatever you'd like. I'll have club soda with a twist. I'll
be right down with our lunch."
From the driveway you can enter the lower level of his
house. On the right is a door that opens to a guestroom.
On the left is a wet bar and another door that opens to a
den. Just beyond the bar is a stairway that takes you to the
main part of his home.
I stopped at the bar and fixed our drinks. I noticed a
pitcher of lemonade and poured myself a glass. Gary came
down the stairs carrying a large dish that contained
marinated skewers of chicken, peppers, onions and
mushrooms. He had also prepared German potato and fruit
salads. As Gary placed the meat skewers on the grill I put
my arm over his shoulders.
"How are you doing Gary? We don't get together near
enough."
"I'm doing well. Other than missing your company,
everything has been fine. I just heard from my publisher
this morning. My latest manuscript is slated for publication
in the spring."
"Great news. Isn't this your fourth book to be published?"
Gary writes intelligent mysteries. Filled with intrigue and
suspense, they are also lessons in history. Gary is a history
buff and his stories reflect this interest. His second book
was set in Germany at the beginning of the Lutheran
Reformation. His fictional tale of treason and murder is
masterfully woven together with amazing historical
accuracy. I learned more about the nailing of the 96 thesis
to the Wittenburg Church door and the creation of the
Augsburg Confession than I did in my three years of
Lutheran catechism.
"Actually it's my fifth book to be published. The first was
released by a different publishing house and is now out of
print. It never sold well. I have to admit that it was poorly
written and I'm not proud of it. My publisher is very
excited about the latest. They've asked if I will be willing
to go on an extended promotional tour when it's released."
"You'll do it, won't you?"
"Certainly, I'd be foolish not to. I'm concerned about
leaving my animals though."
"Don't be concerned, we can help you out," I said while
smiling.
Gary was quick to pickup on my smile and my use of the
word, we.
"We?" he asked.
"I have so much to tell you,"
I proceeded to tell him everything that happened with
Mark. I was surprised to hear myself sounding giddy as I
spoke.
"I've known all along that you and Mark were meant to be
together. If ever there was a relationship 'made in heaven',
this is it. I'm especially pleased that Mark wants a
wedding. Was having sex with a man everything you
hoped it would be?"
"Yes, and so much more."
"I thought you'd feel that way. Mark is certainly hot, that
doesn't hurt any, does it?"
"He is so handsome. He takes my breath away. Mark and
I are hoping that you will officiate at our wedding
ceremony and lead us in our vows. Will you do that for
us?"
"Of course I will. I'm really honored...what can I say?"
I then proceeded to tell him about Sarah, Miguel and the
potentially dangerous situation. He was upset with me for
getting involved, but felt that I did the right thing.
"There's something else I want to talk with you about. I
don't want you to think that I'm meddling in your personal
affairs - even though I am."
"Hey, I haven't had an affair, personal or otherwise, for a
long time now." He was smiling as he spoke.
"Well I hope to change all of that for ya."
"How so?"
"Do you date? I know you were hurt when you're
relationship with Greg ended. Are you at all interested in
getting involved again?"
He was thoughtful.
"I don't know Steven. I've gone out with two different
men since my breakup with Greg. Both relationships were
short-lived and both involved sex. Good sex at that, but
sex was the only reason I went out with them. To put it
bluntly, I needed to get my rocks off. When I realized that
each of them wanted more than I was willing to give, I
broke it off.
But I'm lonely. At first I was hoping something would
develop between us, but when I realized how deeply you
and Mark love each other, I let that go. I'm sure you
noticed.
It would be nice to fall asleep in the arms of a man that I
love. I'd like to share that special closeness that only
happens when love and sex meld together. But I'm so
frightened of getting hurt again. I just don't know what I
want. Why do you ask?"
"Because I know a special man that would like to ask you
out. I told him that I'd ask you about it."
Gary looked confused. "Do I know this person?" he
asked.
"Yes you do. It's Dan."
"Dan Neilson?"
"The one and only. He's had a crush on you for some time
now. Dan's a great guy and I've come to care for him very
much. Not only does he run the nursery, but also he takes
care of me personally. I'd be lost without him."
"Takes care of you personally, a ha!" Gary said with
feigned disapproval.
"Yeah, he sucks my cock every morning and fucks the
hell out of me every night." I fired back at him playfully.
"He looks out for me and is a true friend. Much like you,
asshole."
"I know, I was just pulling your chain. I can tell he is
good friend."
I decided not to tell Gary just how close Dan and I had
become. I didn't want him to worry that Dan was
competing with him for my friendship. Until recent years I
had very few friends. Many acquaintances, but few that I
would consider friends. Sitting and talking with Gary I
realized how much my life had changed. I now had several
friends, each unique and very important to me.
"I always thought of Dan as being straight. My 'gaydar'
must not be working. I'm really surprised," Gary said.
"No, he's bisexual. He's only had one relationship with a
man, and that was just after high school. He's only been
with a few women. He's not looking for a long line of sex
partners. He wants to have a serious, longtime relationship
with a man."
"I'm flattered that he would consider me. He's your age
isn't he?"
"He's two years younger than me."
"He doesn't mind the age difference?"
"Evidently not."
"He's so cute. Gosh, I'd love to go out with Dan."
"He is going to be so stoked. I hope it works, for both of
you."
Finishing lunch, I was reluctant to leave Gary, but knew I
needed to get back home. I wanted Dan to have ample time
to make his deliveries and be back by the time Brad arrived
at 4:00 p.m. We said goodbye and promised to get together
soon.
When I arrived back at the nursery Dan had already
loaded the delivery truck and was ready to go. I asked him
if there had been any problems.
"None at all. Actually it's been very quiet. Brad called
just to make sure I was okay. He's an unusual cop."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Since the Rodney King beating there has been one
L.A.P.D. scandal after another. The blundering of the O.J.
Simpson case and the racist, sexist attitude of Detective
Mark Fuhrman undermined the confidence of the entire
city. Now it's the Rampart Division scandal. Our police
department no longer enjoys the respect of the people they
have sworn to protect. Detective Sloane is a breath of fresh
air."
"Yes he is. I suspect that there are many more just like
him. Brad explained to me how the L.A.P.D. is working to
bring about reform and hopefully improve their relationship
within the community. The hate crimes division is one
example of what they are trying to do."
"To tell you the truth, I feel much better knowing that
Brad is handling this. I'm anxious to meet him today.
Does he mind being addressed by his first name? Isn't that
a bit disrespectful?"
"When we met on the plane he asked me to call him Brad.
He prefers his friends to call him by his name."
"I've got good news for you my friend," I said, changing
the subject
Dan's face momentarily tensed as he waited for me to
continue.
"I can't begin to understand why, but Gary wants to go out
with you."
"Really?" Dan was ecstatic. "What did he say?"
"Well, the first thing he wanted to know is the length and
girth of your cock." I said very seriously.
"WHAT ? Steve you're kidding, right?"
"Of course. He was flattered at your interest and is really
looking forward to going out with you. He had no idea that
you are bisexual so your interest came as a surprise to him.
Why don't you give him a call tonight?"
"Wow. I'll do just that. You've made my day. Thanks
bud. I better get moving if I'm going to be back by 4:00.
Be careful Steven. See you later."
He kissed my cheek and drove off.
Chapter 18 - The Storm Arrives
The room looked foggy. As hard as I tried, I couldn't
figure out the time of day or where I was. Nothing was
familiar and I became frightened. I tried sitting upright and
was gripped by intense pain in my head and sides. The
pain was so severe I cried out. Within moments somebody
was at my side holding my hand. As my eyes slowly
focused I realized that it was Dan. The pain, especially on
my right side, was awful. When I tried to speak I was
greeted by a terrible burning in my lungs.
"Easy does it Steve. Just rest, I'll call the nurse."
Dan pushed a button on a control panel by the side of my
bed. With that simple act I realized that I was in a hospital
room. Slowly the terrifying realization of why I was there
came back to me. I felt worse than I ever imagined I could
feel. I was becoming nauseous and feared I would throw
up. Within moments a nurse was standing at my side and I
noticed an IV tube running from my arm to a bottle
hanging beside me. The nurse, using a syringe, added
something into the solution that slowly entered my body
via the long plastic tube. I wanted to talk but the pain in
my lungs made it difficult.
"Just relax Mr. Houston. The pain will subside in just a
few minutes."
As promised, the intensity of my discomfort waned
somewhat. Looking into Dan's eyes I could tell that he had
been crying. I managed to squeeze his hand a little tighter
and weakly smiled at him. I closed my eyes and thought
about the events that led me to this room.
Dan had driven off in the delivery truck and I decided to
move the recent shipment of live Christmas trees to the
front of the nursery. A new model F-Series Ford Truck
drove up and parked close to the nursery entry. Three
Hispanic men got out and I knew immediately that it was
Gilberto and some of his friends. They walked into the
nursery and feigned interest in the racks of bedding plants
near the entrance. I didn't know what to do.
"Hold on, I'll be with you in a second," I called out.
Walking into the store I picked up the phone and dialed
Brad's home number. His wife answered. I quickly
identified myself and told her I needed immediate help.
The words no sooner left my mouth than they walked in the
door.
"Hi, how can I help you?" I said as cheerfully as possible.
Without answering they closed the door behind them.
One stood at the closed door while the other two pulled out
knives and walked up to me.
"Are you Steven Houston?" the taller man asked me.
"Yes, I am. What's going on here?"
"How do you know Sarah Ortiz? He asked.
I noticed that his Mexican accent was quite pronounced.
He glared at me as he waited for my response. I didn't
want to reveal accurate information, yet I knew I couldn't
pretend not to know her. Having found my name and
address in her computer, I was trapped.
"I don't know her well at all. She is a recent customer of
mine. She and a young man ordered some cactus from me.
She said that she wanted a certain native species that grows
in her hometown in New Mexico. I knew the species she
was looking for and I ordered them for her. They should
arrive in about one week."
"If she placed an order then you must know where she
lives," he growled.
"Yes, she left me her address and phone number. They
are in my computer. I seem to remember that she lives in
Los Angeles, near West Hollywood."
Evidently Gilberto bought my story because he stopped
questioning me about Sarah. He probably felt that I didn't
have any worthwhile information. But, as I was about to
find out, he was not through with me.
Everything happened quickly. Gilberto, without warning,
kicked me in groin. I fell to the floor in terrible pain. He
continued to kick me, alternating between my ribs and my
head. It was very odd, after what seemed like an eternity of
kicking, the intense pain stopped. Everything seemed to
move in slow motion and I felt deeply at peace, almost as if
I had left my body. I could see everything with a surreal
clarity. The man who had stood by the door began
overturning my display racks and ripping open various bags
of wild birdseed that I kept in the front of the store. The
other man, who had approached me with Gilberto, was
trying without success to open the cash register.
Gilberto stopped kicking me and began helping his partner
with the cash register. The machine is computerized and,
short of smashing it to pieces, there was no way they were
going to open it. This angered Gilberto and he returned to
me.
"Open the register you fucking piece of shit," he screamed
at me.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't stand up and the pain
returned. He stooped down and held his knife to my throat
"Open the fucking machine or I'll slit you from ear to ear,"
he commanded.
At that moment I heard what I thought to be sirens
approaching from the street and moving up my long
driveway.
One of the thugs yelled, "Gilberto, la policia!" All three
men immediately ran to the front door and seeing the squad
car approaching, scattered through the nursery. Feeling a
sense of relief I allowed myself to relax and lost
consciousness.
I didn't know how long I'd been unconscious. I opened
my eyes and again tried to speak. My lungs still burned but
not as badly. The painkiller was working.
"Thank you for being here, Dan. What did they do to
me?"
"I feel so badly. I should never have left you alone. You
were right, we should have closed the nursery."
"Don't worry, it wasn't your fault."
"After I left to make my deliveries, Gilberto and his mob
came. They beat you pretty badly and wrecked the store.
Do you remember anything at all?"
"Yes. I remember being beaten and then hearing a police
siren. Everything after that is fuzzy."
"Brad explained to me what happened. After you called
his wife, she contacted him and he notified dispatch. There
was a patrol car only minutes from the nursery. The sons
of bitches hid in the back of the nursery but were caught
when they tried to flee over the back fence. All three
bastards are in jail.
I can't bear to think what would have happened to you if
the police weren't so close by." Tears welled up in Dan's
eyes and he held my hand tighter.
"Where am I now," I asked.
"You're in Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital. Dr. Cartwright
has been treating you.
"How long have I been here?"
"They brought you in at 3:30. It's now 7:45. Brad met me
at home when I returned from making my deliveries and I
followed him here. You've drifted in and out
consciousness ever since."
Just then Dr. Cartwright entered the door. "Hello Steven,
I'm glad to see you are alert. You are a very lucky man."
"Please doctor, tell me what they did to me."
"You were severely beaten. You have five broken ribs,
one of which has punctured your spleen. It isn't life
threatening but we're ready to take you into surgery. It will
have to be removed. You've suffered a major concussion
and have numerous lacerations around your head and arms.
Considering the magnitude of your beating, you're lucky to
be alive.
Your friend here has been with you the entire time. He's
only left your side to make the necessary calls to your
friends and family. You have a very loyal friend."
"I know. Who did you call?"
"Your parents and brother are here now. Gary is on his
way. I also called Spokane.
"Oh shit; what did Mark say?"
"Mark was at work so I spoke with Barbara. She is going
to his office to tell him. I expect one of them will call for
an update. You know Mark; nothing will keep him away
from you. He's probably in flight right now."
"You're ready for surgery," Dr. Cartwright softy spoke.
Dan leaned down and kissed my lips very lightly. "I'll be
waiting for you Steven," he said.
I looked at his compassionate yet worried face and smiled.
"I love you Dan."
As I was being 'prepped' for surgery, thoughts raced
through my mind. There were still so many questions left
unanswered and so many things I wanted to say to all of
those people that I loved so much. I was grateful for my
family and friends and said a silent prayer of thanksgiving
for each one of them. The last thing I remember before the
anesthesia gently lulled me into unconsciousness was
something Dr. Cartwright said.
"Most of your friends and family are in the waiting room
praying for you. You are fortunate to have such good
friends. Too many times patients go into surgery
completely alone, without the knowledge that they are
loved. That is just about the saddest thing I can think of,"
he said.
He went on to quote Henry Durbanville. `A friend is the
first person to come in when the whole world goes out'.
Those words brought me tremendous comfort.
Some time after I had fully recovered; I learned just how
serious my injuries were. I had nearly died on route to the
hospital. My heart stopped on two occasions. That was the
reason that surgery was not performed immediately. My
blood pressure and heartbeat needed to be stabilized first.
I also learned more about Mark's reaction when he was
told of the attack and the events immediately following my
surgery.
Mark was at work when Barbara received the phone call
from Dan. Knowing how hard Mark would take the news,
she called Carl. They agreed to meet at Mark's office so
they could tell him personally and not over the phone. By
the time they arrived, Barbara had been crying. Mark knew
immediately something was very wrong.
"What it is, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Mark," Barbara spoke softly.
"Something's happened to Steven. The men that
threatened Sarah showed up at the nursery and he's been
severely beaten. He's in critical condition. Dan called us
with the news but didn't have many details. Evidently he
has several broken ribs and other internal injuries. They're
waiting for him to stabilize before taking him into surgery.
Dan thinks you should try to get there as soon as possible.
I'm so sorry honey. I can't believe this has happened to
him."
She walked around the desk and cradled Mark's head
against her hip as the news slowly registered.
Grief and fear washed over Mark. Barbara later told me
that she and Carl thought they were going to need a doctor
for him. The news was so horrible and unexpected he
slipped into mild shock. For a long time he said nothing.
He merely stared at the wall as tears ran silently down his
cheeks. Carl and Barbara were eventually able to engage
him in conversation and they began discussing what should
be done.
"I need to get a flight into Los Angeles or Burbank as
quickly as possible," Mark said.
"I'll call the airport and make the arrangements," Carl
volunteered. "Barbara, why don't you call your dad and let
him know what is going on and then drive Mark home. I
don't think he should be driving himself. I'll meet you there
as soon as I book his flight."
"Thanks sweetheart."
Carl was able to book a nonstop flight from Spokane into
Burbank. The flight was scheduled to leave Spokane at
6:45 p.m. and would arrive in Burbank at approximately
9:25 p.m. Barbara and Carl helped Mark pack clothes and
toiletries and drove him to the airport. They arrived with a
few minutes to spare.
"I'm worried about Patrick and Melissa," Mark said.
Barbara had asked her mother to pick the children up at
school but not to say anything to them. She and Carl would
explain when they saw them later that night.
Carl placed Mark's hands into his own.
"Don't worry Mark. We'll explain what happened and let
them know why you had to leave quickly. They'll
understand. Of course they will be worried about Steven,
especially Patrick. But remember, he has a very real faith
and I'm sure he will be praying."
It was time to board. Mark thanked Carl and Barbara and
gave each of them a kiss goodbye.
"I love you both. Please pray for Steven."
"We will," Carl said. "There is a rental car waiting for
you at the airport."
"Thank you. I'll call when I can."
Mark's flight arrived on time and he secured the rental car.
He drove to the hospital and quickly located Dan, Gary and
my family. Karen and Brad were also in the waiting room.
Dan embraced Mark and comforted him as best he could.
"How is he?" Mark asked.
"He's out of surgery and in the recovery room. From there
he will be taken to intensive care for observation. If he has
a good night he will be given a private room tomorrow.
His condition has been upgraded to serious."
"Have you met Steven's doctor? Has he told you what we
can expect?"
"Yes. His name is Dr. Cartwright and he has been
wonderful. Steven's recovery will be long and painful but
Dr. Cartwright doesn't think there will be permanent or
long-term damage to his body or brain.
Mark; let me warn you before you see him. He looks
pretty bad. They kicked him repeatedly in the head and his
face is badly swollen. His eyes are black and nearly
swollen shut. There are small cuts and abrasions on his
face and major cuts and bruises on his arms. He must have
tried to shield his face with his arms."
The color drained from Mark's face as Dan described the
details of the beating.
"Did they catch them?" Mark asked. "If not I'll find them
and kill them myself."
Dan reached out and lightly put his hand on Mark's cheek.
"They've been caught. If they were still free, you and I
would hunt them down together. But thank God, they've
been apprehended."
"Thank you Dan. I owe you so much. I'm anxious for us
to have a long talk. I want to get to know you better.
Steven thinks so much of you."
Mark's words brought a smile to Dan's worried face.
Mark hugged Dan tightly then walked over to greet Gary
who was talking with my parents. Gary stood up and
embraced Mark, as did my parents. At that moment Dr.
Cartwright walked into the waiting room and spoke to the
group.
"Steven is resting comfortably in ICU. He will spend the
night there for observation. I'm very happy to report that
he came through the surgery just fine. His heart has
stabilized and I don't anticipate any further cardiac
problems."
"What cardiac problems?" Mark asked.
"I'm sorry," Dr. Cartwright said. "I haven't met you yet.
Are you Mark?"
"Yes sir. I just arrived."
"Steven's heart stopped twice on route to the hospital. We
nearly lost him both times. He seems much stronger now
and I don't think we have to worry about his heart failing.
We will monitor him closely through the night."
The events of the day were too much for Mark. He leaned
against the wall and slowly slid to the floor and sobbed.
Dr. Cartwright walked over and sat next to him on the
floor. Putting his arm around Mark's heaving shoulders Dr.
Cartwright comforted him.
"Steven will be okay. It was so very close, but unless
something unforeseen happens, I'm confident that he is out
of danger. He has a strong body and is determined to
survive. Having you and his other friends here will go a
long way in helping him recover.
When Steven was coming out from under the anesthesia,
he was calling your name. If you don't mind, I'd like to
speak with you privately in my office. Are you okay
now?"
"Yes, I'll be fine. I just can't imagine my life without him.
When you said his heart stopped twice, I guess it was just
too much for me. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry Mark. Don't ever be sorry for feeling
emotion, especially love."
After sharing a few words with my parents, Doctor
Cartwright led Mark to his office.
"I'm very pleased to meet you. Dan has told me about
your relationship with Steven. I didn't want to create
unnecessary problems with his family or friends. That is
why I suggested we speak privately."
"Is there something else wrong?" Mark asked with
growing worry in his voice.
"No, not at all. I'm concerned about revealing more than I
should. Do Steven's parents know that he's Gay, and that
you and he are involved in a relationship?"
"Oh no. I hadn't thought about that. Thanks for your
sensitivity. No, his parents and brother don't know about
us and now is not the time for them to find out. Other than
the man who was talking with Dan, everybody else knows."
"That is Detective Brad Sloane. Thanks to him, Steven is
alive today. He had a patrol car stationed near the nursery
so when the call came in, they responded immediately."
"Steven told me about him. I'll want to thank him
personally."
Mark, we have a small dilemma. The hospital will only
allow family members in ICU. I know you are going to
want to see Steven when he's coherent. It will do him good
to see you too. How do you want me to handle this? As
his life partner, the hospital will recognize you as family,
but his parents might question why you are allowed to see
him while his other friends cannot."
"Oh man, that is a problem. I don't want to give the
Houston's anything additional to worry about, but I need to
be with Steven."
"I have an idea. Just stay in my office for a few minutes.
I'll tell his parents that I asked you to fill in some of the
blanks on the admission forms. I'll take Dan aside and let
him know what we are really doing. Then I'll go check on
Steven. If he's in any condition for visitors, I'll come and
get you."
"Thank you doctor. I really appreciate all you are doing
for us."
"It's my pleasure Mark. My niece is a Lesbian and I know
how difficult society can make it for you. I'll be back in a
few minutes."
I was awake when they wheeled me form the recovery
room to ICU. Still under the influence of the anesthesia I
wasn't feeling much pain. Of course I wasn't feeling very
much of anything and kept falling back to sleep. At one
point I awakened and Dr. Cartwright was standing at my
bedside smiling.
"How are you feeling? You came through surgery very
well."
"Tired and maybe a little nauseous, otherwise okay. The
pain in my ribs and head seems to be gone."
"Well I hate to tell you this, but it will return when the
anesthesia begins to wear off. When that happens be sure
you tell a nurse. I've prescribed painkillers for you and I
want you to take them. Your recovery will happen a lot
faster if you're not in terrible pain. You don't need to worry
about addiction to the drugs, I'll see to that. Just be sure
you keep the edge off of your pain.
"No problem. I'm not into pain."
"Good. If you promise not to get too excited, I have a
surprise for you."
"I like surprises."
"Do you feel like having a visitor?"
"Yes."
"Don't go anyplace," he said with a smile. "I'll be right
back."
Within a few minutes I noticed Dr. Cartwright coming
through the door and at his side was Mark. At first I
thought I was dreaming, but when he flashed me his sexy
grin, I realized I was very much awake.
"MARK. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry, I should
have listened to you and stayed in Spokane."
"I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes," Dr.
Cartwright said. "But nothing strenuous, okay?" He
smiled at Mark and squeezed his arm before walking away.
"Don't apologize. You did the right thing. Sweetheart, I
love you so much. I was frightened that I was losing you"
"I love you too Mark. Several times I thought I was
dying, but each time I willed myself to stay alive. I
promised I'd never leave you, remember?"
"I remember sweetheart. I need you babe," he whispered
while leaning over to gently kiss my lips.
"How can you kiss anybody that looks the way I do," I
said sadly. "I must look hideous."
"No sweetheart you don't. You look beautiful. You look
better to me this moment then you've ever looked before."
"You're so sweet. Dr. Cartwright assured me that my face
would go back to normal. It may take a few weeks, but it
will heal. By the time you move in with me I should be my
old self."
"It doesn't matter what you look like sweetheart. I'm in
love with you, not your body or face. Although you've got
one hell of a body and face so I'm not complaining."
"So much has happened since I got home. Did Gary or
Dan talk with you?"
"Not really. I only got here about thirty minutes ago.
They both greeted me but we didn't have a chance to talk."
"As soon as I'm feeling a little better I'll bring you up to
date."
"Good, but right now you need to rest. Dr. Cartwright
told me I could only stay for a few minutes. He's a good
man. Since I'm technically not a family member I'm not
supposed to be in here, but he bent the rules for us. He was
thoughtful enough not to mention our relationship to your
parents. That's something we're going to have to deal
with."
"I know. I don't want to live dishonestly. We need to tell
them. I think they will be okay with it. I'm not sure about
my brother."
"I'm not ashamed of us and I'm not ashamed that I'm
attracted to men. I don't see any reason why we can't live
our lives any way we choose. I sure as hell won't live my
life fearful that somebody might find out what we do in
bed. If our friends and family really love us, then they'll
accept the fact we're Gay. Besides, I think most of them
suspect anyway. Have you ever noticed the way your
brother stares at me when I hug you?"
"No, I never have. He can be a macho jackass, but he
really does have a big and sensitive heart."
"I know he does. I've always liked Kevin. But he gives
me a, 'what the fuck', look every time we hug. I just hope
he doesn't freak out on us."
"If he does, well, then he does. Nothing is as important to
me as you are. You're all that matters to me. I want to tell
them soon, but you don't have to be there. I can do it
alone."
"No way! We're in this together. Besides, I want you
with me when I tell my mom. If you feel strong enough,
we can tell your folks before I go back to Spokane."
"How long can you stay Mark?"
"As long as you need me to."
"Let's see how I'm doing. Maybe we can do it
tomorrow."
Dr. Cartwright walked up to us with his good-natured
smile on his face. "How are you feeling Steven?"
"Tired, but happy."
"As much as I hate to break this up, you've had enough for
today. You need to rest. Sorry Mark, but you'll have to
join the rest of the group. I've explained to your family
and friends that you need to rest and can't have visitors
until tomorrow morning. Dan is the only person who
knows that Mark has seen you."
"Thank you doctor. I'm very grateful to you," Mark said.
Mark leaned over and again kissed my swollen lips. "I
love you so much Stevie. Rest well. I'll see you in the
morning."
"Good night Mark. I love you too."
After Mark left, Dr. Cartwright asked about our
relationship.
"How long have you been together?"
"We've been in love since we met in college. But we've
only been together in a real relationship for a few days. It's
a complicated story."
"I'd like to hear the whole story sometime, but not tonight,
you need to rest. I can tell that you are very much in love.
When you were coming out from under the anesthesia you
were calling Mark's name. Not in a desperate, frightened
tone, but gently and peacefully.
You came very close to death. I think your relationship
with Mark and the love of your family and friends helped
pull you through. As a doctor I tend to view life
pragmatically and scientifically. As cold and skeptical as
that viewpoint is, I've come to expect healing whenever
love or faith is in evidence. Your being alive is testimony
to a power far greater than modern medicine. Do you have
a religious faith?"
"I have faith in God, but I'm not religious. I've had many
bad experiences in the church. I've only recently come to
terms with my sexuality. The church taught me that being
Gay is sinful and has no place in the heart of God. I did
everything I could to try and be somebody that I was
incapable of becoming. I wasted years of my life trying to
fix something that wasn't broken. Homosexuals are vilified
by an institution that is supposed to be filled with tolerance
and acceptance. I believe that grace is a free gift to
everybody, regardless of his or her spiritual belief system
or sexuality. I guess that is where my faith starts and
stops."
"Steven, I'm a church going Christian and have been for
twenty-five years. It distresses me when I realize how the
church has perverted the gospel and has driven so many
people from her doors. It's nothing new however.
Mankind has tried to manipulate the truth for as long as
we've been standing upright. I'm glad that you haven't
discarded your faith just because the church has fallen
short."
"No, my faith is strong. It's not conventional or
dogmatically correct, but it works for me. I guess I have a
hard time being around church people. I'm so tired of
hearing - 'we love the sinner but hate the sin'. Frankly
doctor, that's bullshit."
"I want to hear more about your faith and your
relationship with Mark, but I've kept you talking far too
long. Let's see how you feel in the morning and maybe we
can talk some more."
"I'd like that, but I'm curious. Why are you interested in
my relationship with Mark?"
"Let's just say I'm a hopeless romantic and I enjoy being
with people who are in love."
I fell asleep soon after Dr. Cartwright left but awakened
only a few hours later. As promised, the pain returned. I
summoned a nurse who administered something through
the IV. I slept fitfully. I awakened early and was irritable.
I wanted to be finished with the whole ordeal and go home
with Mark. I wanted to have sex with him. It was all I
could think about. Sadly, I knew that was not going to
happen for some time. Nurses would come in and out of
my room and were cheerful as they poked, prodded and
diligently studied my vital signs. I didn't want to see
anybody but Mark, and he could poke and prod me all he
wanted.
Later in the morning, Dr. Cartwright returned. "How are
you this morning?"
"Grumpy," I replied. "I'm a terrible patient. I always
have been. I just want to feel well and go home. And that's
not at all a reflection on the hospital. Everybody has been
great, especially you."
"Well, that attitude young man, is a very good sign. With
your determination you'll be out of here soon. All of your
vital signs are excellent. You'd never guess that less than
24 hours ago you were knocking on heavens door. I'm
going to have you moved into a private room. I'll come and
check on you as soon as you're settled and, if you want, we
will continue our discussion from last night.
The nurses tell me that Mark stayed awake all night in the
waiting room. He looks almost as bad as you," he said with
a smile. "It took considerable convincing to get everybody
else to go home and get some rest. I have a suspicion they
will all be back soon."
"I'm anxious to see all of them. How are my parents
doing?"
"Of course they're very worried, but they are fine. I had a
nice conversation with your dad. We served in the Navy at
the same time and were both stationed on San Nicholas
Island. He left two months before I arrived so we never
met until last night. Let's get you settled in your room and
I'll be back."
He returned shortly after I was moved. "There's a line of
people waiting to see you. Are you ready for visitors?"
"Yes. Is Mark still out there?"
"He is, but he volunteered to let your parents come in first.
He 's quite a guy, I'd keep him if I were you."
"No question about that. Does he really look as bad as
you said?"
"He looks tired. Both from lack of sleep and worry. But
he's a great looking man. I don't think he could ever look
bad."
"I know. He is the finest looking person walking this
planet, don't you think?"
"Well, the second finest. I think my wife has him beat."
"How long have you been married?"
"Thirty-eight wonderful years."
"Hey, congratulations doctor. You are one of the rare
couples that actually made it work."
"Thanks. I'll send your parents in."
I ended up staying in the hospital four days. Doctor
Cartwright continued to take a special interest in me and we
enjoyed many interesting conversations. He really is one of
the nicest men I've ever met. He's genuinely interested in
his patients and lives his vibrant faith. We've stayed in
touch and Mark and I socialize occasionally with he and his
wife.
Chapter 19 - Home and Family
The unseasonably warm weather we were enjoying moved
south. Mark drove me home from the hospital in steady
rain. I was still quite sore, especially my left side. Four of
my five broken ribs were on the left side. Yet overall, I
was feeling much better. The swelling in my face had gone
down somewhat yet I still looked awful. I've always been a
little vain so I found my appearance to be depressing.
Arriving home I was delighted to be welcomed by my
parents and brother, Gary, Dan, Brad and Karen. I soon
learned that Gary and Dan had spent considerable time
repairing the damage done to the nursery and had begun
building a fine relationship with each other.
Dan leaned close and whispered in my ear. "I'll tell you
all about it when we are alone." He was grinning like the
Cheshire Cat so I knew they must be happy together.
"Are you ready to install my sprinkler system?" Brad
asked with his usual good humor.
"I will be soon enough. We should probably wait until
late winter or early spring. The ground will be soft and we
can immediately begin planting."
"I'm ready whenever you are. I can't tell you how happy I
am just looking at you my friend."
"I don't know how I can ever thank you for everything you
did for me, Sarah and Miguel. You saved our lives."
"There is no need to thank me. You're my friend. I liked
you the moment we met. And I think Mark is great. You
are going to be very happy together."
"When did you realize that Mark and I are a couple?"
"On the flight to Spokane," he smiled.
"How did you know? I never said anything."
"As a cop I've been trained to observe people and how
they act. When you were telling me about Mark you had a
continual smile on your face. There was no mistaking that
look, with or without training. You also took a particular
interest when I spoke to you about the rise in hate crimes
directed at Gays in Los Angeles. I figured that you were
Gay and were going to Spokane to visit Mark, your lover."
"Wow! I had no idea that you knew. You don't have a
problem with me being Gay?"
"No, of course not. Why would I?"
"I don't know. I guess I don't normally think of police
officers as being particularly approving of the Gay life
style."
"We're not all macho assholes you know."
"Brad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that. I don't
know why I said that."
"Because we have a bad reputation. You're correct, many
officers are jerks and should not be allowed to wear the
badge. But there are many fine men and women who love
their jobs and serve the community well. My closest friend
has served on the L.A.P.D. for 23 years and is openly Gay.
He's lived with the same man for years and is proud of his
life. He enjoys the respect of most of the officers and I'd
do anything for him. You also are my friend and I couldn't
care less that you're Gay."
When Brad was ready to leave he took Mark and I aside
and wished us much happiness. He gave us each a warm
hug. He promised to let me know when Miguel and Sarah
would be allowed to go home.
"I want us to stay in touch," he emphasized. "I'm anxious
for you to meet my wife. Mark, when you get back to L.A.,
I'd like to have you guys over for dinner."
"I'd really like that. We're hoping that you and your wife
will attend our wedding in the spring. Thanks for
everything you've done for Steven," Mark replied.
"We'll be there."
Karen left next and Dan and Gary were preparing to leave.
"Where are you guys going?" I asked. Mark and I
followed them outside.
"Back to my house. I'm fixing dinner for Dan," Gary said.
The look on his face betrayed his real intention for the
evening.
"I see. So Dan, does this mean I've lost you as a
roommate?" I said smiling.
"Hey, you had your chance Steve."
Dan walked up to me and kissed my lips softly.
Whispering in my ear he said, "You know I'll always love
you. But Gary and I are really getting along well. He's
asked me to spend the night and I'm going to. I think he
just might be the man for me. We'll see."
"I hope so. I love you too."
Mark and I stood on the front porch as we watched them
drive off. "What was that all about?" he asked.
I told him everything Dan and I had talked about. He was
happy for Dan and Gary but I could tell he was uneasy
about the closeness that had developed between Dan and
myself.
"Mark," I said as I put my arms around his waist. "Do
you know that you are the only man for me? Dan is a close
friend and I love him. I also love Gary. But I'm 'in love'
with only one person, and that's you. I would never cheat
on you. I couldn't, I'd be cheating on myself. I only have
eyes for you babe. Do you believe me?"
He gently pulled me into his arms and held me closely. "I
believe you sweetheart. I'm sorry that I sometimes get
jealous. I just can't bear the thought of anybody coming
between us. In my heart I know that won't happen, but
sometimes I worry."
"Please don't ever worry about that Mark. I've never lied
to you baby. You know that's true."
"I want to make love to you. I've missed our closeness. I
want to smell your hair and feel your breath on my skin.
I've got a boner just thinking about it."
"You know, if we're real careful, I think we might just be
able to do that tonight."
"I don't want to hurt you honey. Isn't it too soon?"
"I don't think so. I want you so badly. If my parents and
brother weren't inside I'd be on my knees right now. I want
us to make love tonight. We'll be careful."
Looking deeply into each other's eyes the world
disappeared for us. I was given a glimpse into the
sacredness of marriage. Mark and I had created a bond that
could only be sustained by our ongoing love. If either one
of us ever did anything to compromise that love, the bond
could be destroyed. I would never risk that happening. No,
I'd never cheat on the man that I love more than life itself.
I've often watched the candle lighting ceremony during
Christian weddings. The couple each takes a lighted candle
and together lights a third candle. When the third candle is
lit they extinguish their individual flames leaving only the
third candle glowing. Looking into Mark's eyes I realized
how incomplete that symbolism is. Only by the faithful
burning of our own individual candles could we ever hope
to sustain the existence of the third. I knew with certainty,
that the candle, which represents my life, will never be
extinguished. Rather, it will burn together with Mark's,
brightly and forever.
Breaking our embrace with a kiss, we walked back into the
house. Only my parents and brother remained and we
decided it was time to tell them about our relationship.
Kevin was in the kitchen fixing something to eat while my
mom and dad sat talking in the living room.
I was nervous, but knew the time was right. I didn't want
to begin my life with Mark dishonestly. Besides, I love my
family and wanted them to know the truth about their son.
When Kevin returned to the living room I announced that
I wanted to have a family talk. Mark sat next to me on the
couch while Kevin sat down on the floor, leaning against
the wall, directly across from me. By the dark look on his
face I suspected he knew what was coming.
"What is it honey?" my mom asked concerned.
"Well, there's something that I need to tell you and it's
hard for me to do."
I could feel my chest becoming tight and it was difficult to
speak. The tension in the room increased. Mark gently
placed his hand on my knee and smiled sweetly at me. His
gentle touch helped calm my nerves but I could see Kevin
stiffen.
"I know I should have told you this many years ago, but
I've only just accepted it myself. There's no easy way to
tell you, so I'm just going to say it. I'm Gay and I'm in a
relationship with Mark. I've been in love with him since
the first day I met him. Back then I believed that it was
sinful to be a homosexual so I buried my feelings so deep
that I couldn't find them myself.
I dated Kathy, Mark's sister, hoping that she would
somehow 'cure' me of my attraction to men. That was a
very selfish thing to do to her. I caused her so much pain
because I was selfish and refused to face the truth about
myself."
Mark spoke up at that point. "I was falling in love with
Steven and although I've never believed homosexuality to
be sinful, I was hesitant to tell Steven of my feelings. I was
afraid I'd scare him away. So we've lived all of these years
deeply in love with one another, yet apart. I married
Barbara for totally selfish reasons and our marriage was a
sham. Barbara and I divorced less than a month ago."
"I've asked Mark to move in with me," I continued. "We
plan to be married in the Spring and I really hope you will
give us your blessing. You're my family and I still need
your love. I'm the same person I've always been, I'm just,
for the first time, being honest about my sexuality."
As I finished talking I was greeted by absolute silence. I
was beginning to fear the worst when I noticed a slight
smile cross my dad's face. He sat forward in his chair and
spoke.
"Son, is this what you've been so worried to tell us?"
"Yes. I love you and I haven't wanted to hurt you or lose
your respect."
"Haven't we always taught you that honesty is the best
policy? Have we ever been angry with you for being
truthful with us?"
"No, but I've never told you anything quite like this
before."
My mom actually started to laugh. Her tone was happy
and my fears began to wane.
"Oh sweetie," she said with tears in her eyes. "I've known
that you were Gay since you were in high school. I've never
stopped loving you and you've never hurt my feelings."
"But how could you know that? I didn't know for sure
myself until very recently. At best, I thought I was
bisexual with hopes of being 'cured'.
"I'm a mother Steven and I know my children very well. I
saw all the signs. You rarely dated and seldom talked
about girls. Unlike your brother, you never did the normal
things most boys do. For example, Kevin doesn't know it,
but I found his stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines.
I even found some pretty hard core stuff that he thought
he'd hidden well." She directed a smile to Kevin as she
spoke. "Steven, all I ever found in your room were Science
Digest and Better Homes and Gardens magazines.
In my heart I knew you were different and I never once
felt less of you. But I have worried about your happiness.
I know how cruel people can be, so I prayed daily that God
would bring the right man into your life. And now I see
that God has more than answered my prayers."
"Dad, did you know too?"
"No, not really. Your mom voiced her suspicions but I
was doubtful. I never dated until I met your mom. I was
shy and scholastic. Not the best combination for 'picking
up chicks'. I just thought you were probably a late
bloomer, like myself. Besides, it really didn't matter one
way or the other. All we've ever wanted was for both of
our boys to be happy."
Kevin abruptly stood up and exclaimed, "I can't believe
my ears. You're all talking like this is acceptable. What
the hell is going on here? I've worried about this for years
now. They're always hugging and carrying on like a couple
of fags and suddenly that's okay? Well, it's not okay, it's
wrong. I'm not going to stick around and listen to this
shit."
With that said, he stormed out of the house and drove,
much too fast, down the driveway. I was concerned how
Kevin would handle the news but I didn't expect this. I felt
terrible. Kevin and I had always been close and I didn't
want to lose his love and friendship.
Dad could see my distress and spoke up. "Give him some
time to adjust. I think he'll come around. Kevin has
always been hotheaded and quick to react emotionally. But
he's equally quick to get over his anger and usually feels
badly for his behavior."
"Kevin is feeling bad about himself," mom added.
"Why?" I asked.
"He's had a run of bad luck. He just broke up with Brenda
after nearly two years together. And, he lost his job. He
didn't say anything to you because he didn't want to burden
you while you were in the hospital.
Try to understand how he feels. On top of his own
problems, he now realizes that you possess what has always
eluded him - a loving relationship. He's jealous Steven.
The whole Gay reaction was merely a cover-up for his real
feelings. He's suspected your relationship with Mark all
along; he said so himself. It was just more than he could
take at this time. He'll come around. He loves you Steven
and he's always liked you Mark. More than once he's
wished he had a friend like you."
Thinking about my brother I felt sad. He always seemed
to have a harder time with life than the average guy. Not a
bad student, but he always struggled for his grades. He's
jumped from one dead-end job to the next. Friendship is
very important to him and he'll do most anything for those
people he thinks are his friends. His easy going nature and
knack for 'hanging out' with the wrong crowd usually
meant that his 'friends' would get him into trouble. Yet he
always remains cheerful and ready to lend a helping hand.
He's always been a wholesome, hetero guy, looking for a
woman to settle down with, and a handful of buddies to
hang out with. It just never seemed to work for Kevin.
"I feel really bad for Kevin. I sure didn't mean to add to
his load. I'll give him some time to settle down, then I'll
contact him."
"Thank you honey. Don't worry too much, he'll come
around. Trust me." Mom's reassuring words helped me
feel better.
"All I want to do is live my life as honestly and happily as
I can. I want you to know that I couldn't love anybody any
more than I do Mark. He is my soul mate and the source of
my happiness. I know we'll never be able to give you
grandchildren, and we'll probably make it awkward at
family reunions, but I'm hoping you will welcome him into
our family. He is my life and I love him with all of my
heart, mind, body and soul."
"Welcome to the family Mark," dad said as he walked
over to give him a hug. I couldn't pick a finer son-in-law."
"Honey, I'm so pleased that you and Mark are together.
Although I knew you were Gay I never suspected that Mark
was. I thought he and Barbara were happily married. But
when I asked God to lead the right man into your life I
always imagined it would be somebody just like Mark."
Mom kissed Mark and hugged him tightly.
It was early evening by the time my parents left. It had
been a long day and I was physically and emotionally
drained. Neither Mark or myself were overly hungry but
felt we should eat something. Mark decided to make
grilled cheese sandwiches for us and we ate them with a
glass of milk while sitting next to each other on the couch.
After we finished eating Mark said he would clean up the
house and kitchen. I started to object when he said firmly,
"Steven, just stay put, you really need to rest. You've
overdone it today and I don't want you back in the
hospital."
I stretched out on the couch as he cheerfully picked up the
remains of the day. I could hear him softly singing to
himself but couldn't quite make out the song. Mark has a
nice baritone voice although he's shy about singing. It
made me feel good that he felt comfortable singing in front
of me.
I fell asleep on the couch. I awakened about an hour later
to the music of `California', an excellent Bluegrass group
that we both like. The lights were out and candles softly
illuminated the room. I sat up looking for Mark. He was
sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs, smiling at me. On
the table next to him was an open bottle of nonalcoholic
apple cider and two crystal wineglasses.
"Mark, what have you done?" I asked warmly.
"You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you.
Besides, I've never watched you sleep before. Do you
know how beautiful you are my love?"
"I love you so much."
"This is our first night together in our home. I thought it
would be nice to have a toast. I know you'd rather have
Merlot, but with all the medication you're taking, we'll have
to settle for apple cider tonight."
I was happy to hear him say, 'our' home. "You are so
sweet Mark. Come over here next to me."
He set the apple juice and glasses on the table next to the
couch and leaned over to kiss me. "Don't go away," he
said. "I'll be right back."
"He went into the bathroom and I could hear him
rummaging around. He was looking for something. I had
no idea what that might be. In a few minutes he came back
and I could see that something was in his pocket. Whatever
he was looking for he evidently found.
"Stevie, we were sitting on this couch, eleven years ago,
when you told me about your dream. I will always treasure
that night. That night I came to you hurt and confused, and
you loved me. You made me feel like the most special man
in the world. And what you did to me later, in the
bedroom, was the first truly satisfying sensual experience
I'd ever experienced. Now it's my turn to show you just
how much that night still means to me."
We drank a little of the apple cider as we cuddled. The air
in the house had become chilly so Mark got up and built a
fire in the stove. Returning to the couch he reached into his
pocket and pulled out a bottle of lotion. I recognized it
immediately. I knew he was going to massage my feet the
same way I did to him so many years ago.
"How are you feeling sweetheart?" he asked.
"I'm feeling perfectly happy. You've given me more than
I ever dared to hope for. I want to make love to you."
"I'm worried that it's too soon. Put your feet in my lap
and let's go slow. We have the rest of lives together."
I knew he was right. Dr. Cartwright had still not released
me from his care and I certainly didn't want a relapse and
end up back in the hospital. What a dilemma. I was tired
from the events of the day but so wanted to make love to
Mark. I looked at his handsome face and was treated to his
sexy grin.
"Come on babe. Lean back and put your feet in my lap."
I kicked my shoes off and leaned backward into the
softness of the couch. Mark slowly, seductively, removed
my socks and poured a small amount of lotion onto my left
foot. Because the bottle had been in his pocket, the lotion
was warm. That got me excited. With slow deliberate
strokes he deeply massaged my foot. His strong hands
caressed every muscle. As he erotically worked the big toe
my cock began to swell. He had me completely under his
control and he knew it. Each toe on that foot received the
same sensual treatment. I was experiencing Nirvana.
Looking into my eyes, he smiled sweetly.
What he did next nearly sent me over the edge. Slowly
lifting my right foot, he took my big toe into his mouth.
Alternating between gentle suction and swirling his tongue
around the entire toe, he sent waves of pleasure through my
body. My cock was rock hard and a small wet spot was
beginning to show through my pants. I was leaking a large
amount of precum. Mark saw it and grinned. Returning
his gaze to my feet, he made love to each toe.
By then the fire had successfully taken the chill out of the
air. The temperature was cozy and I could hear the rain
falling on the roof and dripping off the eaves. I don't think
I'd ever felt more at peace and secure as I did at that
moment.
Sensing my contentment Mark slipped off of the couch
and knelt on the floor alongside me. He slowly removed
my shirt and began sucking my erect nipples. As his mouth
and tongue tantalized one nipple his fingers would gently
pinch and rub the other. The wet spot on my pants was
now the size of a half-dollar. Slowly and with
determination he was taking me where he knew I wanted to
go.
He moved his tongue into my navel. His gentle licking
tickled and my excitement mounted. As he continued to
lick my stomach he gently began rubbing my hard shaft
through my pants. Sensing that I would blow any moment
he removed his hand from my dick and gently cupped my
balls. He began licking upward along my right side
reaching my armpit. He buried his face under my arm and
allowed his tongue to trace designs in my abundant hair.
He had never done that to me and once again I was close to
orgasm.
"How are you feeling Stevie? Is this too much for you?"
There was concern in his voice.
"You're making me feel wonderful. Don't stop. I'll let
you know if I'm hurting in any way. You are a remarkable
lover."
Without saying a word he began to unbuckle my belt. He
then opened the button of my jeans with his mouth.
Grasping the zipper with his teeth, he slowly pulled it
down. I was going crazy with lust and anticipation. Very
gently, being mindful of my stitches, he pulled my jeans
down to my knees. Standing up he walked to the end of the
couch and pulled them off of me completely.
He quickly returned and buried his face in my wet briefs.
I couldn't believe how much precum I had leaked. As he
nuzzled my cock through the cloth, his right hand reached
between my legs. He expertly maneuvered his hand
through the leg opening of my underwear and his index
finger found my waiting rosebud. Gently he passed his
finger back and forth across my small opening. I began to
writhe in ecstasy.
After many blissful moments of rubbing he withdrew his
finger. With both hands he removed my underwear and his
eyes lingered for a moment as he looked at my exposed
cock. He then put his middle finger into his mouth and
thoroughly lubricated it with saliva before returning it to
my hole. Slowly and gently he inserted his finger and I
could feel my sphincter muscle close around it. Closely
watching my face for discomfort he paused, allowing me a
moment to adjust to the welcome invader. When I smiled
he began moving his finger back and forth. He was fucking
me with his finger and I was going crazy.
While continuing to provide me with sublime anal
enjoyment he took my balls into his mouth. Knowing how
sensitive they are, he was very gentle. By now powerful
sensations were beginning to come from every direction. I
felt as if I was on sensory overload and managed to warn
him that I was very close. Moving from my balls he took
my 7-inch cock all the way to the base. His nose pressed
firmly into my pubic hair. I couldn't control it any longer
and began filling his mouth with my sperm. I just kept
pumping, spurt after spurt, and he didn't lose a drop.
After a moment he moved his body upward and tenderly
kissed my mouth. As our tongues intertwined I could taste
my cum in his mouth. I was perfectly satisfied and so
much in love. Without bidding, tears flowed down my
cheeks.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked with concern. Have
I hurt you?"
"No, not at all. Just the opposite. You've made me feel so
good. I'm crying because I'm so in love with you. It seems
I can't control my emotions anymore. I've cried so much
since last November I'm beginning to think I'm
menopausal."
He took me in his arms and held me until I had recovered.
"Where did you learn how to do that Mark?" You were
incredible. You swallowed my entire cock without
gagging. How did you do that?"
Mark actually blushed. "I'm a little embarrassed to tell
you."
"You don't need to be embarrassed with me Mark. We
don't have any secrets from each other."
"I know. But.."
His face was flushed with embarrassment and my
curiosity was peaked.
"You don't have to tell me, but I can't imagine why you
would be embarrassed with me."
"Promise you won't tell anybody about this, okay?"
"Mark, you know I would never do anything that would
hurt or embarrass you. I promise. You can always trust me.
Besides, who would I tell?"
"Okay. Do you remember telling me that you watched
some Gay porn flicks so you could learn how to please
me?"
"Yes."
"I was really touched that you did that for me. It just
showed me, once again, how much you love me. So, after
you returned to L.A., I rented a couple of movies so I could
get some ideas. The movies really turned me on. I decided
I wanted to learn how to do some of what I saw. I watched
those guys' deep throat enormous cocks. I couldn't see how
they could do it without gagging, so I practiced."
"YOU WHAT! Who did you practice on?" I said with
hurt in my voice.
"Not who Stevie, don't worry. God, I'm so embarrassed. I
practiced on a Zucchini."
As hard as I tried not to laugh, I couldn't help myself. I
just cracked up at the image in my head. Looking over at
Mark I was relieved to see that he too was smiling. I didn't
want to hurt his feelings but the thought of him sucking on
a squash was just hilarious to me.
"Was it good for you babe?"
"Very funny."
"I'm sorry for laughing. I never promised I wouldn't
laugh."
"Go ahead and laugh all you want. I must have looked
pretty stupid. Just don't tell anybody, okay?"
"I won't tell anybody, honest. Wasn't the Zucchini a little
rough on your mouth?"
"You'd have to ask that wouldn't you?"
I could tell there was more to the story and started
chuckling again. "Come on Mark, tell me."
"Oh shit Steven, you're never going to let me live this
down, are you?"
"Probably not. If you don't tell me I'll tickle you until
you do," I said while smiling at him.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you. I heated it in boiling water for a
few minutes and peeled it. Actually it felt pretty realistic.
There, are you happy. You're boyfriend is a pervert."
"I forced myself to stop laughing and took him into my
arms. "You're totally spoiling me babe. You don't know
how happy you've made me. Don't ever change the way
you are. I think you are as close perfect as any person
could be. I want to spend the rest of my life making you
happy. Now it's my turn."
"Not if you're hurting Steven. I can wait."
"My side is pretty sore but there's nothing wrong with my
mouth. Take off your clothes handsome."
He slowly removed his clothing and once again I
marveled at his beauty. His dark brown hair set off his
golden tan. He was wearing his hair shorter than usual and
it gave him a youthful look. Looking at me his brown eyes
twinkled and his straight, white teeth sparkled.
My cock responded happily as I looked at the luxuriant
hair that covered his broad chest. I could see tufts of brown
sticking out from under his arms. As I've said before, I
love Mark's hair. He's not a bear, covered from head to toe,
but where it does grow; it is thick and soft. His pleasure
trail descends from just below his 'pecs' down to his
stomach where it once again is plentiful. From there it
continues south and leads into a dense forest just above his
perfectly shaped penis. While making love in Spokane I
found that I enjoyed burying my face in his pubic hair. It's
warmth and clean masculine scent is arousing and
comforting to me.
It was awkward trying to find a position that wasn't
painful. Mark was so sweet and patient. He tried to assure
me that he was perfectly happy waiting, but I was
determined to bring him to an enjoyable climax. Besides, I
longed to have him in my mouth. We finally moved to our
bed, allowing us more room and greater flexibility. Lying
on his back with his legs spread, I found a comfortable
position with my head just below his large balls. I had a
great view of his mysterious canyon that I so longed to
explore. Rising majestically, his 7 1/2-inch cock, stood like
a monument to manhood.
My tongue soon found it's way to his sensitive hole.
Lightly I flicked it back and forth and Mark began to moan.
"Stevie, I love it when you do that to me."
"I know you do babe, and I love doing it to you."
As I inserted my tongue, his moans became louder. I
reached upward with my left hand and began massaging his
nipple while my right hand grasped his penis. Very gently
I used my thumb to rub the sensitive area just below the
head. I was hitting three 'hot spots' at the same time and
Mark began to tense. I knew if I continued he would shoot
before I was ready for our lovemaking to stop. I withdrew
my tongue and stopped rubbing his cock. Just in time. I
sensed he was close to the edge
I decided to direct all of my attention to his cock. After
giving him a moment to relax I took just the head into my
mouth. I only used my mouth and didn't touch him
anyplace else. His most sensitive spot is on the underside
just below the glans. While keeping his head fully in my
mouth, I ran my tongue up and down this sensitive area. I
could feel and taste precum as it leaked onto my tongue.
"Stevie, you're making me crazy."
I didn't say anything but slowly began sliding my mouth
down his shaft. I wanted to take all of him, as he had done
to me, but knew I'd have difficulty. I'd pull my mouth back
up, just to the base of his corona then go back down again,
slowly and sensually. Each time I'd go down a little bit
further. Whenever I felt him start to tense I'd ease up,
bringing my mouth almost completely off his penis,
allowing only the tip of my tongue to brush across his piss
slit.
I repeated this process for at least half an hour, bringing
him to the threshold of ecstasy then backing off. He began
squirming and raising his ass off of the bed pushing his
cock further down my throat. I was pleased when I realized
my face was buried deep into his pubic forest and his whole
7 1/2 inches fit comfortably in my throat.
"Steven, please let me come now, I can't take any more,"
he begged.
I increased my speed and sucked harder. It only took
another couple of seconds when I heard the now familiar
growling begin. A loud "Aaaarrrgghhhh......" escaped his
throat and my mouth filled with his warm, slightly salty
cum. He delivered a huge load. I didn't want to lose any so
I swallowed, creating more space for the ongoing gusher.
His spasms finally subsided and the flow stopped.
I allowed him a moment to catch his breath before pressing
my lips to his. He opened his mouth and I allowed the cum
that I had saved, to flow into his mouth. He swallowed
then placed his tongue deep within my throat.
Holding each other we drifted into a peaceful sleep.
We both awakened around 7:00 a.m. I had my usual 'piss
hardon' and went to the bathroom to relieve myself. Mark
followed me and put his arms around me as I stood in front
of the toilet trying to pee. He nuzzled my ear with his nose
and I could feel his morning beard rub up against the side
of my face. It felt incredible. He tightened his hold around
my waist as my cock finally softened enough for me to pee.
When I finished he took my place in front of the toilet and
let loose with a steady stream.
I know it sounds strange, but sharing the bathroom with
Mark caused me to realize how much I was enjoying the
intimacy of living with somebody I was in love with. Until
that moment I never would have thought that taking a leak
could be so satisfying. We had reached the point where we
were sharing everything.
We brushed our teeth then Mark said, "Let's take a shower
together."
Climbing into the warm water he took the bar of soap and
lathered my back and chest. As he moved lower he was so
very careful to keep the area around my incision as dry as
possible. One of Mark's best traits is his thoughtfulness.
This was just another example of his considerate nature.
There was dried semen in our chest hair. Evidently we
hadn't swallowed all of it the night before. We laughed as
we scrubbed each other but decided, in the future, we
would clean up before falling asleep.
I was feeling good, almost back to normal. The pain in
my ribs was gradually getting better and my headaches had
stopped altogether. My face was not as swollen and
although still black, my eyes looked brighter. Feeling
better, I was excited to spend the day working in the
nursery.
Mark started a pot of coffee and set the table while I
mixed some batter for pancakes. While eating we discussed
our plans for the next few days. "How much longer do you
think you can stay," I asked.
"I don't want to ever go back baby. I just want to stay at
home with you."
"I don't want you to go back, but Patrick needs you. I'd
really like for the two of you to have a full and glorious
Christmas season."
"I know. He's going to miss me when I leave, and I'm
going to miss him too. The good news is - he can spend the
summer with us. We often talk about all the exciting
activities the three of us have in store. He wants to go
camping - at Red Rock Canyon."
"That will be fun. I've got several science projects
planned and I think I'd like to buy some lapidary
equipment. He'll love that."
Mark blew me a kiss from across the table. "What's that
for?" I asked.
"For loving Patrick so much."
"You know Mark, in a way I feel like he's my son too.
Not to take anything away from you and Barbara, but I feel
a paternal tie with him."
"He loves you Steven, every bit as much as he loves me.
You've been a great role model and Barbara and I
appreciate what you've done for him. Because of your
influence he wants to be a biologist. Did you know that?"
"I just assumed he would. He's a remarkable boy and I
really do love him. I'm anxious for him to spend summers
with us."
"As much as I hate to leave you, I guess I should fly home
in a day or two. I have a lot of work to finish for Chester
and you're right, I want to make Christmas very special for
Patrick and Melissa."
After breakfast, Mark called the airlines and booked a
flight for Wednesday, leaving us only two more days
together. We decided that we would make every minute
special.
The rain had stopped sometime during the night and the
sun was shining. But the temperature was cool and
everything was wet, so we decided to work inside. I
needed to confirm the recent e-mail orders and get caught
up on ordering. Mark kept his head buried in the books and
studied every aspect of the business. He is analytical and
highly creative so I was excited to hear his thoughts. We
spent the entire day working side by side, stopping only to
eat lunch and indulge in an occasional hug.
I don't know how the nursery would have survived the
last two weeks without Dan. While I was in Spokane he
managed to fill orders, make deliveries and install the new
irrigation system. During my hospital stay he kept the
nursery open in addition to visiting me at least twice each
day. On top of that, he and Gary repaired the considerable
damage done by Gilberto.
Dan deserved some time off. Although it was still early, I
called Gary's number, knowing that Dan had spent the
night with him. I wanted to catch him before he left. I was
hoping that he and Gary would spend a leisurely day
together. In bed would be nice.
Gary picked up the phone after two rings. "Hello." He
sounded chipper.
"Hey Gary, how's it hangin'? " I said cheerfully.
"Steven! Good morning. It's hangin' just fine, although a
few minutes ago hangin' would not have been the
appropriate word."
"All right Gary! That's what I was hoping to hear. I'll
assume the relationship is heading in the right direction."
"Oh my gosh yes. He makes me so happy. I'm almost
afraid to say it, but I think I'm falling in love with him. I
like everything about him. He's thoughtful, has a great
sense of humor and is very intelligent. Last night we talked
for hours about current events. He has keen understanding
of the issues and is a good conversationalist. Did you know
that he regularly attends lectures at the college and he..."
"Jeez Gary, I was hoping you were going to tell me that
you fucked like rabbits, not solved the world's problems."
"Don't interrupt," he said warmly. "I was getting to that.
He's TERRIFIC in bed. We went 'at it' half the night and
when we awakened he was ready for more. I don't know if
this old heart can take it, but I'm sure gonna find out."
I could hardly believe my ears. The normally quiet and
reserved Gary was as giddy as a schoolgirl. I had a feeling
that they were going to be very good for each other.
"Gary, I want Dan to take today and tomorrow off. He's
worked so hard and I want the two of you to enjoy a couple
of days together. Also, talk with him and find out when the
two of you can take a mini-vacation together. I'm going to
reserve a cottage in Carmel for you. There's a splendid
resort that I think you will enjoy. Let me know when you
can go and I'll make the reservations."
"Steven, you can't do that. Carmel is so expensive and..."
"Yes, I can. It's my way of thanking you for all you've
done for me. Just talk with Dan and find out when you can
get away. I'll take it from there. Don't say any more. I
love you guys. Bye."
I hung up the phone before Gary object.
To be continued.
Thank you for your generous support. I've received many
messages of encouragement and I'm sincerely thankful for
each one. I feel as if I've made new friends, all over the
world.
Several people have indicated that they are having
difficulty sending me e-mail. One of my new and astute
friends has discerned the problem. Evidently there is some
confusion as to what my address actually is:
rustynail920
The lower case letter l (ell) and the number 1 (one) look
very much alike. My address is rustynail - like the cocktail,
or what you fear stepping on if you've not had a recent
tetanus shot. Does this clarify anything at all? Hopefully.
I'll try to answer every message as quickly as possible.
Please e-mail me at: rustynail920@yahoo.com
Mark