Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 21:18:45 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Stevens <rustynail920@yahoo.com>
Subject: In the Direction of Happiness - Part 8

The following is property of the author.  Permission to post
is granted to Nifty Archives.

Disclaimer:  This is a work of fiction.  Any similarity to
individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence.  Do no read
this story if man-to-man romance or sex offends you.  Do
not read if you are underage according to laws in the
country, state/province, county, city/town/village or
township where you live.


This is a love story.  I've attempted to create a tale where
the characters are involved in living life to its fullest.
Although sex is part of this story, so are romance, pain and
self-realization.

Many readers have asked me about the inspiration behind
the story.   "How much of the story is autobiographical?" is
a common question.  Quite a number of you have thanked
me for writing a story that is "filled with hope" while others
have correctly noted that the story is, perhaps, overly
idealistic.

I wrote the story at a time when I desperately needed to feel
good: about the world, about changing circumstances in my
life, about myself as a Gay man.  Remembering how
wonderful I felt as a child when somebody told me a happy
or hopeful tale, I sat down and wrote myself a story.  After
considerable encouragement from a dear friend, I decided
to share that story with you.  There are many
autobiographic elements woven throughout the fictional
narrative but that is of little consequence.  If during these
trying times the story has brought a smile to your face or
offered you a glimmer of hope, then together we have taken
a step in the direction of happiness.



IN THE DIRECTION OF HAPPINESS - PART 8


Chapter 23 - An Epiphany


  Mark left Spokane at 6 a.m. on Thursday, January 4th.
He packed his few pieces of furniture in a rented truck and
headed west on Interstate 90.  At the junction of 395 he
turned south and home to California.  He intended to drive
as far as he could and then stop for the night.  He hoped to
make it as far south as Weed, California.  At 8:00 p.m. he
called me from Bend, Oregon.  Snow had started falling in
the Tri-City area of Southern Washington and had
continued throughout the day.  The snowfall became
heavier at the higher elevations between Bend and Klamath
Falls.  At Sun River he became concerned so he drove back
to Bend to get a room, hoping that the storm would pass
during the night and the highway would be clear in the
morning.

  We talked for about 20 minutes, mostly sharing our
mutual excitement at the thought of finally being together
for the rest of our lives.  Even over the phone I could hear
the love in his voice and my own heart ached to hold him in
my arms.

  Mark had been looking forward to the drive home.
Traveling along the eastern side of the Cascade Mountains
provides the motorist with spectacular views of the
volcanoes that created the mountain range.  In Northern
Oregon there is an off highway marker called, 'Snow Cap
Identifier'.  From this unique vantage point you can view
the volcanic peaks from Mount Rainier in the north to
Mount Shasta in Northern California.  All of the other
snowcapped peaks including, Hood, Jefferson, Adams, The
Sisters and St. Helen's are easily identified.  It is a
spectacular sight and not to be missed.  Unfortunately for
Mark, the driving snow obscured everything.

 Crooked River Gorge is a remarkable canyon that
dramatically slices the earth just north of Bend.  Mark
stopped at the rustic roadside park to view this magnificent
sight.  He told me that the sun momentarily broke through
the dark storm clouds and a shaft of golden light
illuminated the canyon walls.  As storm clouds raced across
the sky, the gorge became the silent battleground between
light and shadow.  In the midst of the heavenly chaos a
rainbow arched across the sky.  A sight so lovely, he was
moved to tears.

  I asked Mark to call me before he left in the morning.
Sure enough my phone was ringing at 5:30 a.m.  He'd
already eaten breakfast at the local Denny's restaurant.  He
ordered 'Moons Over My Hammy', just as he'd done so
many years ago as we sat at the Denny's Restaurant in
Mojave.

  The ferocity of the storm had waned during the night yet
snow flurries continued to fall.  He'd called the Highway
Patrol and learned that the road was open although they
advised caution.  He decided to get underway.  With any
luck he would arrive home late in the evening.  The drive
south from Bend Oregon to Weed California is
mountainous and snowfalls are often heavy.  Concerned, I
asked him to call me when he reached Sacramento.  Of
course I spent the day worried.

  At 9:25 p.m., weary and hungry, Mark arrived home.
Hearing the truck coming up the gravel driveway I went
outside in time to see him climbing down out of the cab.
His tall lanky body moved quickly in the direction of the
front porch.  I ran to meet him.  Taking me in his arms he
actually picked me up and turned a full circle before
planting a welcome kiss on my mouth.  We stood there
hugging for several minutes before he moved his hands
inside of my shirt.  They were rough and felt wonderful as
he gently massaged my chest and stomach.  Placing his lips
over mine he eagerly took my tongue into his mouth while
his fingers lightly pinched my nipples.  As he pushed his
body against mine I could feel the fullness of his basket.  I
quickly followed suit as the blood began rushing to the
center of my body.

  "I've missed you so much," he whispered.  "Let's never be
apart again.  I belong at your side Stevie.  There is no place
else for me to be."

  "We're together my love.  Nothing will ever separate us
again.  You're home and I love you so much."  We walked
hand in hand back to the house.

  We talked for several minutes but I could see the fatigue
in his eyes.  "Baby, you've got to be exhausted.  Do you
want to go to bed now or can I fix you something to eat?"

  "I'm tired but I don't think I can sleep yet.  I need to wind
down first.  I haven't eaten since noon.  I could eat
something."

  "What would you like?"

  "Just something simple and maybe a glass of wine."

  Earlier in the day I had roasted a chicken and made
coleslaw.  I quickly fixed him a plate and opened a bottle of
Chardonnay.  He was hungry.  In moments he'd wolfed
down the cold chicken and welcomed a second helping.
Sitting on the couch he leaned against me as we sipped the
wine.  He was asleep within minutes.  It felt so good feeling
his weight as his relaxed body pressed against mine.  I had
never experienced such contentment as I did that night.  If
my life had ended at that moment I would have left this
world happier than I ever dreamed I could be.

  I listened to his heavy breathing and watched his chest rise
and fall with each breath.  His peaceful, handsome face
forever etched in my mind.

  Suddenly, as if a door had opened, I knew we were not
alone.  I could feel the presence of perfect goodness -
perfect serenity.  The air in the room seemed alive and the
quality of the light changed.  I can't describe what
happened.  Reality seemed to alter and I felt the presence of
holiness. Without a shred of doubt I knew that God had
visited us personally.  There was a stirring deep within my
spirit as God confirmed his unconditional love.  The
experience left me feeling just like my recurring dream had,
years ago.  I knew that my relationship with Mark had been
conceived and orchestrated by God.  Everything was
perfect.

  We awakened together sometime after 2 a.m.  The room
felt cool yet comfortable.  "Let's get into bed babe," I said
while helping him to his feet.  He was more asleep than
awake as I led him into our room.  I unbuttoned his shirt
and helped him remove it from his exquisite torso.  Next
came his pants.  I wanted to make love to him but I knew
he was too tired.  Instead, leaving his underpants on, I had
him lie down on his back.  I lightly ran my fingers across
his chest and he quickly drifted back to sleep.  Placing my
head on his shoulder I caught his unique clean scent just
before I joined him in slumber.

  Mark slept until 9:00 a.m.   Normally an early riser I knew
he needed the rest.  I had coffee waiting for him when he
walked into the kitchen.  He looked pale and there was
concern in his eyes. After a long kiss he sat down and we
talked while finishing the pot of coffee.  It seemed
incredible that after so many years our waiting was finally
over.  It would just be the two of us.  Together we'd face
whatever joys and challenges life would present us with.

  I told Mark what happened the night before.  How I
believed that God had visited us.

  "I know," he said softly.  The look of concern returned to
his face.  He almost looked frightened.

  "You were deeply asleep Mark.  How could you know?"
He looked at me and tried to smile but there was a faraway
look in his eyes.  He began to speak but he really wasn't
looking at me.

  "I don't remember falling asleep," he said.  "I was feeling
so comfortable and peaceful as we sat together on the
couch.  The next thing I knew I was walking on the beach,
alone.  There was a beautiful sunset and the sky was
blazing with color.  The fiery colors were reflecting in the
water.  I wanted to share it with you but I couldn't find you.
A man walked up to me and smiled.  His eyes were kind
and filled with wisdom.  I felt like I knew him but I
couldn't recall his name.

  He asked me to walk with him along the beach.  As he
reached out to take my hand I noticed that his was badly
scarred.  I wasn't afraid of him.  Somehow I knew I could
trust him.  He saw me looking at his scarred hands and he
sadly smiled at me.  My heart broke.

  "Do you know me Mark?" he asked.

  "Yes sir, I do.  You're my father.

  "Yes Mark, I Am."

  "Where have you been sir?  I've been looking for you all
of my life.  Why did you leave me alone?  I love you."

  "I never left you Mark.  Lo, I'm with you always.  I would
never leave you an orphan.  Just as you have loved and
protected Patrick so I have loved and protected you.  My
son, my beloved son, I will never forsake you."

  "But I grew up alone.  I wanted my daddy and you weren't
there."

 Tears flowed down his own cheeks as he said, 'Your
earthly father left you, but I was there.  It was I that
cradled you at night when you were frightened.  I wiped
away your tears and I answered your cries for love.  It was
I that mercifully allowed you to forget your pain, but son,
the time has come for you to remember.  Be of good cheer.
I'll be here.

  "Suddenly I was lying in my crib, I couldn't have been
more than a year old.  I saw my father hitting my mom.
There was blood running down her face and Kathy was
crying.  I started screaming.  I was so terrified.  Oh Steven,
I remember it all now.  My father took a pillow and shoved
it over my face.  I could feel my entire body wracked with
pain as my life started to slip away.  My father was killing
me."

  Mark's body was shaking violently as he told me of his
dream.  Tears were running down his cheeks as he begged
me to hold him.  I took him in my arms until his shaking
stopped and he could continue.

  "I was so little yet I understood everything that was
happening.  I knew I was dying.  The pain was so bad.
Then suddenly I could breathe again.  The pillow was
pulled from my face and my father was lying on the floor.
I thought he was dead.  My mom had hit him over the head
with a lamp.  The police came and I never saw him again.

  Once again the man with the scarred hands returned to
me.

  "Mark, do you know who I Am."

  "Yes sir, you are my Heavenly Father."

  "Well done.  Your heart has been measured and found to
be full.  I'm proud of you Mark.  You are my beloved son in
whom I'm well pleased.  Because you chose to be a father
to your own son, your reward will be great.  Patrick knows
me and I've placed great wisdom and love in his heart.  He
will bring you much joy.

 Your own father was abused as a little boy.  He did to you
what his father did to him.  It was all he knew.  Hate begets
hate.  Fear gives birth to fear.  Without love the chain of
violence cannot be broken and the sins of the fathers are
visited upon their sons.  Because you chose love, you
forever broke that chain Mark.

 You've spent your whole life looking for what was cruelly
taken from you.  Yet in your own heart there is no guile or
hate.  I find only love.  My dear child, your reward is at
hand.  Behold, joy comes in the morning and weeping no
more shall be heard in the land.

  I've blessed you Mark.  My love will forever abide
between you and Steven.  Like you, he too has been hurt by
others.  Those who harbor hatred and prejudice have
bullied him.  Help him understand that he is pure and
precious in my sight.  His desires have never been sinful.
Help him to forgive those who have hurt him.  You need
each other and together you are whole.  I have placed him
at your side as your friend, lover and partner in life.
Honor each other.   I will be with you always."

  "Stevie, when I woke from my dream you were leading
me to our bedroom.  Your face was so peaceful.  I knew
you had been with him too."

  We sat there looking at each other, saying very little.  We
were both a little frightened.  Awed is probably a better
word.  A Bible verse that I had memorized as child but had
not thought of in years came back to me.  "For God has not
given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self
control."  Somehow those words made sense to me.

  We talked all morning about what had happened.  We
tried examining it from every possible angle. We
rationalized and tried to demythologize the experience.  Of
course the most reasonable explanation was also the safest:
Now that we were safely together we could finally raze the
psychological walls that we had built over the years.  The
hurtful memories that we had so successfully buried could
now be safely remembered.

  That explanation might be the easiest one to accept but we
found it emotionally and spiritually bankrupt.  As scientific
as we tried to be, we kept coming back to the simplest and
most fulfilling explanation: God, whomever or whatever
that may be, had paid us a visit.

  "Mark, prior to the dream, did you remember anything
about your father?" I asked.

  "No.  I have no recollection of my dad and my mom
would never, under any circumstances, talk about him.  I
don't know what Kathy remembers but I want to ask her."

  "Stevie," Mark's eyes were filled with compassion. "Who
bullied you?  Who hurt you sweetheart?"

  I didn't want to deal with the issue but knew I had to.  I
had so successfully buried the experience that I'd almost
forgotten it myself.  At least at the conscious level.  I
realized now that my subconscious had been wrestling with
it for years and the day of reckoning had arrived.

  "When I was in 9th grade I realized that I was different.  I
knew I liked boys. I had a crush on Brian Palmer who lived
on my block.  I think he liked me too.

  Brian was good looking but a nerd.  You know the type.
He always carried pencils in his shirt pocket and didn't
'hangout' with the popular kids.  He was in math club and
sang in chorus.  He bore the brunt of jokes and cruel
teasing.  But I really liked him and we were best friends.

  One day while walking home from school I noticed him
struggle as he tried to carry too many books.  I took half of
his books and we continued walking.  We really opened up
to each other about our feelings and, for once in my life, I
was courageous about my sexuality.  I told Brian that I
really liked him and hoped he liked me the same way.

  He smiled at me but looked a little scared.  'You mean like
a queer?' he asked.

  'I hate that word,' I replied.  'But yes, like that.'

  Brian didn't say much the rest of the way home but I
thought he felt the same way.  By the time I got home I was
feeling pretty good about what I had said to him.  He
needed some time to think about it, I thought to myself.

  Evidently he went home and told his older brother what I
had said to him.  The next day at school word was
spreading like wildfire that I was a fag.  I was mortified and
very angry with Brian.  I never gave him a chance to
explain.  I wouldn't talk to him and wouldn't allow him to
walk with me home.  I walked well ahead of him yet I
could hear him calling me.  'Wait Steve, please let me talk
with you.  I'm sorry.'

  Finally I heard him running, trying to catch up with me. I
walked faster.  When he did finally catch me he was
terribly out of breath and was bent over trying to recover.

  What I did next was the darkest thing I ever did.

  I said, 'look at me Brian, I have something to say to you.'

  He looked up and tried to smile.

  'I hate you,' I screamed and proceeded to hit him in the
face.  He fell over with his books and pencils flying
everywhere.  I left him lying in the dirt.  He never spoke to
me again."

  By the time I got home I was in tears.  I felt horribly for
what I'd done to Brian yet couldn't bring myself to call him
on the phone.  I tried on several occasions to talk with him
at school but he always made himself unavailable or
ignored me.  Rightfully so.  About a month later his family
suddenly moved and I've never seen Brian again.

  The rest of my time at junior high school was hell.  The
torment I received was worse than anything they ever did to
Brian.  I was beat up twice on my way home from school.
Even my friends abandoned me.  Fortunately, that summer
my parents bought a larger house in Granada Hills and we
moved.  I made new friends both in the neighborhood and
at Granada High.  I promptly buried any thoughts I had
about men or sex.

  I think much of my mistrust of the church goes back to
that time.  Too often I've seen the exact same kind of
treatment doled out to anybody who is different.  Sad,
growing up I had wanted to be a minister.  I always thought
that church should be the one place where everybody
would be allowed to be him or her self."

  I didn't realize how emotional I had become until Mark
reached over and caught, with his finger, the tears that
leaked out of my eyes.

  "Sweetheart, you never told me any of that.  No wonder
you've had such a hard time dealing with your sexuality.
I'm so sorry you've lived with that pain all these years by
yourself."

  "Until this very moment I'd almost forgotten about Brian.
I buried the memory.  My horrible deed was more than I
could cope with.  I guess God is stirring up issues that we
need to address," I replied.

  "Yes sweetheart, I think he is.  Is there anybody you feel
you need to forgive?"

  "I guess I should start with the church.  Whenever I think
about people like Dr. Cartwright I realize that there are
many men and women who genuinely live the gospel
message.  I've been guilty of lumping them all together into
one unattractive mass of inhumanity."

  "The church is no different than any other institution.
You will find good and bad.  I'm proud of you for
challenging the hypocrisy that has become so accepted in
this era of so called `family values'.  Don't ever change that
about yourself.  But when you forgive others, you free
yourself.  Let God deal with the hypocrites and
manipulators."

  "You've always practiced forgiveness.  I've never known
you to hold a grudge or harbor a hurtful thought.  How do
you do that babe?"

  "I don't know.  I've never wanted anybody judging me so
I just try to treat everybody the same.  Hey sweetheart,
don't go thinking I'm any better than you are.  Where
would I be without your love, patience and loyalty?
Remember those horrible things I said to you during our
fight?  Talk about the darkest depths of the soul.  I still
can't believe I could ever hurt you like that."

  "We both said things we shouldn't have.  You had other
major problems to deal with.  Somewhere deep inside I
knew you didn't mean what you said.   Those were the
worst few days of my life but I think I learned a great deal.
I know we'll never do that to each other again.  We may
disagree, or even unintentionally hurt each other, but we
learned how to work through it.

 How do I forgive the kids in school for treating me the
way they did?"  I asked.  "I can't even remember their
names."

  As I spoke, there was a look in Mark's eyes that I'd never
seen before.  It's hard for me to describe, but I can still see
that look whenever I remember that day.  Was it wisdom?
Perhaps it was knowledge gleaned from his own struggles?
It certainly conveyed empathy and understanding, but it
was more than that.  I'll probably never know, but
whenever I remember, something in my soul begins to stir.

  "Maybe you should just let it go," he said.  "Acknowledge
that it happened and let it go.  I don't think you're carrying
around any hurtful baggage over that one."  He continued
to speak softly yet his words were laced with strength and
assurance.

  He pulled his chair next to mine and kissed me sweetly.
While rubbing my leg he looked intently into my eyes.  He
continued to speak.

  "Please don't take this the wrong way.  After all, who the
hell am I to offer you advice?  I just feel I need to say this
to you.  Okay sweetheart?"

  "Mark, you can tell me anything you want.  I know your
heart very well.  You would never say anything to hurt me.
I'm yours honey.  Go ahead."

  "I know a man that you need to forgive."

  "You do?"

  "Yes."

  "I could feel my chest tighten.  A million thoughts flooded
my head.  Who?  Why can't I remember?  How does Mark
know?"

  "I know this man very well and he's hurting badly.  He
needs your forgiveness sweetheart."

  "Who is he?"  Desperation was rising within me.

  "I love this man with all my heart and I want him to be
free of the pain he's carrying.  Sweetheart, you need to
forgive yourself.

  When you told me about Brian, you looked like a different
person.  Your wonderful, handsome, sexy face went blank.
At that moment I saw more pain in your eyes then when
you were in the hospital.

  Honey, what you did to Brian was out of character; but
you're only human.  You were hurt and embarrassed.
Actually Brian betrayed you when he told his brother
something so intimate and confidential.  I don't know
anybody who would have, under the circumstances, acted
any differently than you did.  Of course it was wrong, but
you can't always be perfect.  Please forgive yourself Stevie.
I can't bear thinking that you're carrying around that kind
of pain.  I love you sweetheart.  Our life together begins
now.  It's our time now.  Let's never find ourselves held
hostage to anything or anybody again. `Behold, joy comes
in the morning and weeping shall no more be heard in the
land'.

  That was all it took.  I fell apart.  Years of hiding that
secret had done damage to my soul. It was my turn to beg
Mark to hold me.  I cried like a little baby as his strong
arms encircled my chest.  He placed his face against mine
and I could feel his tears as they mingled with my own.
We were both being healed of all the pain and hurt we'd
endured for so long.  The timing of the Almighty is perfect
and precise.  He allowed us to finally come together as a
real couple and then gave us the best gift of all;
unconditional love and healing.

  After several long minutes I recovered and Mark looked
radiant.  We felt a lightness that neither of us had ever
experienced.   It was already 2:00 in the afternoon.  We had
sat in the kitchen talking, clad only in our underwear, the
entire morning.  It was wonderful.

  We climbed into the shower and after washing each other,
we had sex.




Chapter 24 - The Hot tub


  It dawned on me that Mark had not yet seen the hot tub or
his Christmas present from me.  I was so excited I hurried
him along as he got dressed.

  Dan and Gary had finished construction on the simple yet
attractive enclosure - a gazebo.  The sides were made of
redwood lattice and the top was open for stargazing. The
tub had been installed on Wednesday and Gary and Dan
quickly completed the redwood deck surrounding the tub.

  I was given instruction on how to chemically treat the
water and a list of dos and don'ts regarding hot tub safety.
Topping the list was the admonition to refrain from
drinking alcohol while relaxing in the tub.  Well that didn't
sound like a heck of a lot of fun.  I wanted to be able sit in
the tub on a warm summer evening, watching the stars,
sipping wine and become romantic with Mark.  We'd have
to see about that.

  Mark was delighted when he saw the tub.  He wanted to
get right in but I hadn't heated the water yet.  I decided to
tell him about Dan's request.

  "Dan and Gary want to come over and use the tub with us.
They're pretty excited about it.  What do you think?"

  "Absolutely.  I hope they'll come over often.  Why don't
we have a barbecue tonight and have a hot tub party?
Afterward they can spend the night if they'd like to."

  "Sounds good to me.  I'll give them a call.  I need to tell
you something first."

  "Uh-oh.  I don't like the tone of your voice.  What is it?"

  "Well... hear me out before you get upset, okay?"

  "Steve?"

  Mark always calls me Steve when he's being very serious
or concerned that I'm up to something.  Normally I'm
Stevie or Steven.

  "They're hoping we will all be naked.  It wasn't my idea
Mark and I told Dan it would be totally up to you.  I had
nothing at all to do with it and....."

  "That'll be fun.  Why are you so worried about my
reaction?"

  "Because I hurt your feeling when I jokingly suggested we
have a three-way with Miguel.  I don't ever want to hurt
you like that again."

  "That never crossed my mind honey.  We belong to each
other.  Nobody can ever come between us.  I know that
now and I'm over my insecurity.  Besides, I want to see
how well equipped our two friends are."  His eyes twinkled
and he broke into his sexiest grin.  "Have you seen either of
them nude?"

  "No"

  "Glad to hear it.  Maybe we should give them a real show
tonight.  What d'ya say?"

  "Mark! What are you thinking?"

  "Oh I don't know.  Let's see what develops."

  "I had dinner with them on Christmas Day.  They really
opened up to me about their feelings.  Especially about us.
They're in love with us.  They want us to have sex with
them."

  "Oh?"

  "Yes.  I love them a lot but I'm not ready for that.  I'll
probably never be ready for that."

  "I'm flattered but I totally agree with you.  I don't mind a
little horseplay but you're the only person that I will ever
have sex with.  I have no desire to share intimacy with
anybody but you.   I've given my heart, soul, mind, and
BODY to you alone sweetheart."

  "Thank you babe.  I've given you the same gift."

  We sat on the redwood deck surrounding the tub and
kissed.  "Mark?"  I asked.  What do you mean by
horseplay?"

  "He smiled mischievously and said, "Maybe I'll show you
tonight.  Don't worry, we'll have fun and so will Dan and
Gary."

  I was a little nervous.  Mark can be spontaneous and full
of fun.  I had no idea what he had in mind.

  "Okay handsome, it's time to give you your Christmas
present.  Are you ready?"

  "You're my Christmas present Stevie.  What more could
you give me?"

   "Come with me and you'll see."

  Late Friday afternoon I had pulled his truck out of the
garage and parked it behind the greenhouse.  I didn't want
to spoil the surprise by taking him to the garage.  As we
approached the side of the greenhouse I asked him to close
his eyes.  I placed his hand in mine and led him to the
truck.

  "Merry Christmas honey.  You can open your eyes now."

  His reaction was everything I'd hoped it would be.  He
was the little boy again.  Big, strong, handsome Mark
actually jumped up and down as he realized what was
parked only inches in front of him.  He grabbed me in a
bear hug and thanked me with a passionate kiss.

  "You did it again.  You spent way to much money on me."
He tried and failed at sounding reproachful.  "But I'm so
glad you did."  I love you sweetheart."

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key to his new
Tundra.

  "Mark," I called.  I tossed him the key as he looked up.
"Let's go for a ride."

  "The truck handled perfectly and it was very comfortable.
He got onto I-5 and headed north.  When we arrived at the
Lake Castaic off ramp he exited and we cruised around the
lake.  Mark looked good behind the wheel and I know he
felt proud.  I later learned that this was the first new vehicle
he had ever owned.  Growing up all his family ever owned
were used, run-down clunkers.  It was all they could afford.

  We returned to the house. As we approached the garage I
opened the door with the automatic opener I had placed in
the glove compartment.  My house is pretty old and when it
was built garages were usually detached and single-car
only.  That was the case with mine.

  "Where's your car Steven?" Mark asked.

  "It's parked over by the duck pond.  I'll leave it there
during the day and at night I'll move it into the parking lot."

  "Wait a minute," he began to protest.  "I don't want you
leaving your car out at night, you've always garaged it."

  "Take a good look at my car and then look at your truck.
Which vehicle do you think should be garaged?"

  "I guess you're right but I feel like I'm displacing you," he
said while pulling into the garage.  He turned off the
engine.

  "Honey, let's just sit here for a moment.  You're not
displacing me.  Remember that this is your house, garage,
and nursery too.  From now on what's mine is also yours.

  I've got three more surprises for you.  You ready?"

  "Steven, you're too much."

  "Reach under your seat."

  The newly recorded grant deed had arrived the week
before.  I placed a photocopy of the deed under the driver's
side seat.  Title to the house and property was vested in the
names of: Mark Christopher Williams and Steven James
Houston.

  Before he could speak I said, "That's the first surprise.
Ready for the second?"

  "Steven, I..."

  "Good.  In March we will make the final mortgage
payment and all of this will be ours - free and clear."

  Mark just looked at me.  His brown eyes were full of love
and quiet joy.  I marveled as I looked at his face. How can a
man grow more handsome every day?

  Again I spoke without giving him the opportunity to
speak.

  "Okay Mark, one more surprise.  Do you remember the
Christmas card that I sent to you with my note enclosed?"

  "Yes, I've saved it."

  "How did you like it?"

  "It was really hot and it made me miss you even more."

  "Well if I remember correctly, I asked you if the photo on
the front of the card gave you any ideas.  It sure did me."

  The photograph showed two really hot looking men sitting
in the cab of a pickup truck.  The photo was very
suggestive yet discreet.  One man had his head in the lap of
the other.  It was obvious what they were doing.

  Without saying another word I unbuckled both of our
seatbelts and placed my face between his legs.  I felt his
cock through the thick fabric of his jeans and began
nuzzling it with my mouth.  His moans of pleasure started
immediately.  My saliva was beginning to dampen his pants
and the outline of his erect cock was becoming visible.

  I opened the button at the top of his pants and pulled his
shirt out.  Seeing his hairy belly set my heart racing.
Slowly I unzipped his pants while I stuck my tongue into
his bellybutton.  His moans became louder and I could tell
he was enjoying my unexpected attention.

  "Stevie this feels so good."

  "Just sit back and enjoy it."

  I asked him to raise his hips up and as he did so I slipped
his jeans down to the floor of the cab.  Suddenly
remembering that Karen was working in the nursery, I
grabbed the automatic garage door opener and closed the
door.  The light pouring through the garage window gave
us enough light to see by, but it also meant that Karen or
any customer that might wander from the main part of the
nursery could view what we were doing.  Oh well, it added
to the excitement.

  I wanted this to last so I left his underwear on him.  A
seven plus inch tent rose abruptly from his lap.  While
placing my mouth over his cotton covered erection I
slipped my hand through the right leg hole of his shorts.
My middle finger quickly found his warm moist hole and it
easily slipped inside.  Slowly I moved it back and forth and
then began gently moving it in a circular motion.  I could
taste precum through his underpants, as they quickly
became wet.  I continued working his hole while increasing
the suction on his penis.

  "I'm getting close," he warned.

  Not wanting our pleasure to end I took my mouth from his
cock yet kept my finger deep inside him.

  "Mark, I want to try and find your prostate."

  Pushing deeper I bent my finger very slightly so that it
tilted upward.  Mark jerked like I'd given him a shock.

  "You found it sweetheart.  My God that felt good."

  Ever so gently I began to brush my finger back and forth
across this spot.  I thought I could feel a very small knot
and assumed it was his gland.  It was.  Every time I hit this
button his body would spasm.  I worked up a gentle rhythm
while my other hand pulled down his shorts.

  Without stopping the prostate stimulation I took his penis
deep into my mouth.  I let my tongue slide up and down the
underside of his well-lubricated shaft.  My own senses were
rapidly overloading and I knew I was close to shooting
without even touching myself.  The feeling of having his
penis in my mouth while his sphincter muscle clamped
tightly around my finger was incredibly arousing to me.
Add to that the wonderful manly scent that I had come to
associate with Mark and I knew that I might blow first.

  Suddenly his cock began to expand in my mouth and I
was treated to the delightful primal growl that always
signaled his approaching climax.  "Aaarrrgggghhhhh.....

  My mouth filled with cream as my own cock erupted in
my pants.

  After a slow recovery from ecstasy we went into the house
to clean up a bit.  Mark was sleepy so I encouraged him to
take a nap. It was already 4:00 p.m. and I remembered that
I hadn't called Gary and Dan to invite them for dinner.
While Mark napped I got on the phone.  Dan answered in
his usual cheerful voice.

  "Hey Dan.  How ya doin'?" I asked.

  "Great Steve.  Did Mark get home safely?  We wanted to
call but weren't sure how late he got in and didn't want to
disturb you."

  "He arrived late in the evening.  We've just been taking it
easy today.  He's tired from the long drive and is taking a
nap right now.  He had bad weather the first day and it took
longer than he wanted.  What are you guys doing tonight?"

  "Hoping that the four of us can get together.  Would you
guys like to come over for dinner?  Gary said he'd be happy
to cook something special for Mark."

  "That's really nice of you guys but we were hoping you'd
come over here for a barbecue and then help us christen the
hot tub.  Afterward you can spend the night if you'd like."

  "Wow, that's better yet.  Hold on just a sec., let me talk to
Gary."

  I could hear them laughing in the background.  When he
got back on the line he was still laughing.

  "What's so funny?" I asked.

  "Oh nothing really, Gary was making a joke.  He was
wondering if Mark still likes Porterhouse steak or if he'd
already had his fill of  'tube steak'."

  I chuckled at his joke and replied that I doubted Mark
would ever get his fill of either.

  "Great," Dan said.  We'll bring Porterhouse steaks to
barbecue.  What time do you want us?"

  "How about 7:00?"

  "Perfect, see you then."

  "Dan... Mark says you won't need suits for the hot tub."

  "Excellent!  Right on Mark"





  As the evening progressed it became obvious how deep
the friendship between the four of us had grown.  Dinner
conversation was lively and filled with many expressions of
love and kindness.  We reveled in each other's company.  It
was apparent that we had become a family.  Certainly not
the type of family that would be embraced by Dick Cheney
and the religious right, but a real family nonetheless.

 Dan and Gary are perfect together.  They were acting like
a couple that has been married for many happy years when
in reality it had been less than two months.  Like Mark and
myself, they are at their best when they are together.

  The weather that entire day had been perfect.  The
stereotypical Southern California weather that the rest of
the country sees every January 1st as the Rose Parade glides
along Colorado Boulevard.  With the snowcapped San
Gabriel Mountains rising dramatically in the background,
the pageantry proceeds elegantly under a powder blue sky
with the occasional fair weather cumulus cloud drifting
peacefully overhead.  It can be pouring rain at Christmas
time and mudslides will surely block Pacific Coast
Highway by mid month, but the first week of January is
always exactly what the Pasadena Chamber of Commerce
orders.

  We sat outside enjoying the brilliant stars as they glittered
above the Santa Susanna Mountains.  A Northern
Mockingbird was singing from a nearby eucalyptus tree
and my world was as close to idyllic as it could be.
Surrounded by my dearest friends while the love of my life
sat peacefully massaging my feet.  We talked until 10:30
when Mark stood up and asked who wanted to join him in
the hot tub.   Of course we all did.

  Without fanfare Mark began taking his clothes off.  I
watched Gary and Dan's faces as they tried not to stare.  As
hard as they tried, they couldn't take their eyes off of the
beauty that stood before them.  I noticed a glint in Mark's
eye.

  Following Mark's lead I began to remove my clothes.  I
pulled my T-shirt over my head and tossed it on a chair.
Slowly, as tantalizing as I could, I began to unbutton my
jeans.  I wasn't wearing underwear and I paused, as my
thick bush became visible.  It was all I could do not to
laugh as I watched Gary's face.  He looked almost
frightened by the events unfolding.  Dan stood with his
mouth wide open, much the same way he did the night he
saw Mark and I kissing on the front porch so many years
ago.  Knowing that Mark and I were totally committed to
each other I think they expected us to quietly slip into the
hot water as unobtrusively as possible.   They certainly
weren't expecting a show.

  I wasn't sure where Mark was going with all of this so
decided to play along as best I could.

  "Let me help you sweetheart," Mark said to me.

  What he did next shocked the hell out of me.  Walking
over to me he got down on his knees and helped me remove
my jeans.  He let me balance my weight against his body as
I lifted each foot off the floor.  I was standing totally naked
in front of my lover and best friends.

  "You look wonderful honey," he said.  "I want you
NOW."

  Without warning he took my soft cock into his mouth and
began sucking it.  I was embarrassed and knew my face had
turned several shades of red, but it felt great.  It didn't take
long before I was moaning my pleasure for the entire world
to hear.  Even with his mouth full, I could tell that Mark
was laughing.  Looking up I saw Dan and Gary standing
perfectly still with their eyes huge and mouths wide-open.
Sizable tents were sticking straight out in front of their
bodies.  They stood so still they looked like statues.

  Mark took his mouth from my partially erect penis and
began stroking it with his hand.  In no time he had me rock
hard and all seven inches were angled upward.  Looking
up, his eyes met mine and he grinned. He softly mouthed
the word, "watch".

  In one fell swoop he swallowed my entire cock.  His nose
was pressed deep into my pubic hair and he began the most
intense 'deep-throating' he'd given me to date.  You'd think
this guy had sucked cock all his life.  He was doing one hell
of a job.

  "Holy shit!" Dan exclaimed.

 Dan's exclamation dispelled the air of sexual tension that
had permeated the patio.  Mark released my cock and
started laughing out loud.  I was as much in the dark as
Gary and Dan.  I knew Mark had planned a little
"horseplay" but to what end, I had no idea.

  "I love you guys," Mark said while getting up off of his
knees.  "Let's get in the tub and have a little talk.  Come on
you guys, get naked and join us in the tub," Mark said
happily.

  Mark and I climbed in and although the water was very
hot it felt good.  We both watched Dan and Gary as they
got undressed.  Seeing them nude was exciting. Gary's
penis was fully erect and looked to be about 6 inches and
quite thick.  Dan was a good 8 inches but not as big around
as Gary.  Both men are impressive. Judging by the twinkle
in Mark's eyes I knew he felt the same way.

  "Steven told me about your conversation on Christmas
night," Mark said.   "I think it might be a good idea for the
four of us to talk about that."

  When Gary and Dan were settled in the tub Gary spoke
up.  "Mark, are you angry with us about what we said?"

  "Angry?  No, I'm not angry at all.  But I would like to
explain how I feel about it.

  I've had many sexual partners in my life and all of them
unsatisfying.  I now understand why.  All of my life I've
been looking for something that was missing.  I thought I
could find it by having sex.  Lots of sex.   But the more sex
I had the emptier my life became.  I finally married Barbara
and you all know how that turned out.

 Years ago Stevie gave me his love.  He gave it freely,
unconditionally and without hope of ever having a sexual
relationship with me.  That's when I realized my mistake.  I
had been trying to fill the void in my life with sex.  As
wonderful and as exciting as sex is, it was never meant to
fill a void or satisfy loneliness.  Only love can do that.  I'm
not knocking sex.  I think everybody should be doing it,
often.  But with Steven it's entirely different.  At last sex
and love have come together for me and I will never do
anything that could ever jeopardize that.  You two guys
have that same wonderful relationship.

  You are our best friends.  Hell, you're a lot more than that.
Just because Stevie and I have committed our lives to each
other, it doesn't mean we can't express intimacy between
the four of us.  There are many ways of expressing our love
and friendship.  Horsing around in a hot tub is just one of
them.

  Earlier I told Stevie that I'm not above a little horseplay
with you guys.  That's why I started giving him the blowjob
in front of you.  Mostly I thought it would be fun to shock
the heck out you but I also wanted to show you how
comfortable I am with you.  I don't have a problem with
displays of affection between the four of us.  I just want
everybody to understand that I've given my heart and body
to Stevie."

  "We fully understand how you feel Mark," Gary said.
You mean the world to us and we would never do anything
to spoil that."

  "Likewise, you are our best friends and we love you
dearly." Mark returned.

  We sat in the tub for nearly an hour.  We laughed, talked
and totally relaxed in the soothing hot water.

  Dan had begun stroking Gary's cock under the water.
Gary closed his eyes and was obviously enjoying what Dan
was doing to him when Mark whispered in my ear.
"Stevie, are you okay with this?"

  "I don't mind if they fool around with each other.  Our
friendship with them is certainly strong enough for the four
of us to engage in some fun."

  The passion between Gary and Dan was heating up.  They
were now jerking each other off and appeared to have
forgotten that we were present, which was fine with me.
Mark started kissing me while playing with my balls.  I
reached over and began slowly rubbing the head of his
cock.  I moved my fingers in a circular motion as if
opening a bottle. Mark started to moan.

  "It won't take me long," he panted.

  "Fire when ready."

  I too was very close to orgasm and by the look on Gary
and Dan's faces, so were they.  Mark succumbed first and
announced his arrival with his usual Aaaarrrggghhhh...
which startled Gary.  Dan was next.  His body tensed as
Gary expertly satisfied his desire.  Watching Dan's
handsome face respond to the pleasure he was feeling
easily sent me over the edge.  Gary's release was totally in
character.  Ever so slightly his body tensed.  Barely tipping
his head backwards he closed his eyes and quietly sighed.
That's my Gary, always the perfect gentleman.

  The evening proved to be a new experience for all of us
and one that further strengthened the bonds of love between
four friends.  The events of that evening would be repeated
many times in the years to come.  After a few moments of
recovery we decided to get out of the hot tub and head for
bed.

  Dan and Gary wanted to spend the night.  Mark,
thoughtful as usual, had picked a bouquet of flowers and
left them in a vase on their nightstand.  Next to the vase he
placed several condoms and some lube.  He wasn't sure if
they used condoms or not but the lube would certainly be
welcome.

  Mark fell asleep quickly.   I listened to his gentle
breathing as I thought about what he did that evening.  I
had been totally unprepared for his performance.  I knew he
was up to something but I never expected him to give me a
blowjob in front of our friends.  The more I thought about
it, the enormity of what he accomplished became clear to
me.

  Because Gary and Dan had clearly expressed their desire
for intimacy with us the potential for hurt feelings was very
real.  Mark and I love them deeply but neither of us was
willing to take the relationship to the level they suggested.
The intimacy of lovemaking is, at least for us, vastly
different than having sex.  The sex play that the four of us
engaged in was fun and something we enjoyed because of
the intimacy of the friendship.  But it wasn't making love.

  Mark diffused a potentially volatile situation.  By making
himself vulnerable and doing the unexpected, he leveled
the playing field and wiped away any preconceived ideas of
how the relationship between the two couples should
evolve.  By taking his own clothes off first and then getting
down on his knees to service me, Mark allowed Dan and
Gary the privilege of sharing in our lovemaking without
actually participating.  Mark's gentle, almost eloquent
explanation of how we feel about each other,
compassionately set a limit on what we were willing to do.
But, more importantly, he let them know that they were
welcome to share in at least some of the intimacies of our
lives.   An invitation they knew we would not likely offer
anybody else.

  Very few people could have accomplished what Mark did
that evening.  I know I couldn't have.  As I've said so many
times, Mark treats everybody as if they are important and
their feelings matter.  He never judges or engages in
unnecessary criticism.  After talking with Mark you can't
help but feel good about yourself.  A natural born diplomat,
yes.  But even more wonderful; a man in whom there is no
guile.




Chapter 25 - With This Ring...

  Mark quickly learned every aspect of the business and
began researching the viability of new projects.  One
project in particular caught my attention.

  Water is a major concern for all residents who live in the
western states, especially California.  Weather patterns
fluctuate greatly from year to year and depending on many
factors, the state is either deluged with rain or suffers
severe drought.  It's not uncommon for draught conditions
to span several years.  When that happens the impact on
landscaping can be dramatic.  Some communities impose
mandatory water rationing resulting in dead lawns and the
loss of thousands of dollars in landscaping.  Not long ago,
after several years of below normal precipitation, Santa
Barbara imposed rationing.  Within weeks the lovely lush
green lawns had died.  Appearance conscious residents
found a solution.  They dyed their dead lawns green.

  One morning over breakfast Mark and I discussed the
financial impact draught poses to the nursery industry.
Stocking our shelves with green dye seemed ridiculous yet
we needed to be prepared for the next siege of prolonged
hot, dry weather. I could tell that Mark was challenged by
the problem.  Within a couple of days he had developed a
plan.

  Using the climate maps developed by the 'Sunset Western
Garden Book', Mark developed a workable planting guide
tailored to each of the California climate zones most
impacted by years of draught.  He incorporated both native
plants and ornamentals in his overall scheme.  His next step
would be to contact as many community service districts as
possible throughout Southern California and impress upon
them their environmental and financial obligation to
landscape responsibly.

  Planned Unit Developments (PUD's) dot the California
countryside.  More often than not their common areas and
greenbelts are landscaped with plants that are not suited for
years of draught.  An amazing amount of water is annually
wasted in futile attempts to keep a desert or semi-desert
climate looking tropical.  Add to that equation the
enormous water requirements necessary to maintain the
multitude of golf courses that usually accompany the
planned developments and it's no wonder California is
facing a critical water shortage.

  Thanks to Dan and his expansion of the workable nursery
area, the business could now devote space to the
propagation of drought tolerant ornamentals and natives.
Mark's idea was to offer a substantial discount to any
community service district, country club, or municipality
that would agree to landscape with California's unique
water requirements as their primary focus.  We could easily
supply all of the plants.  We would also begin a program to
help educate the general public on how to select plants
guaranteed to flourish within their climate zone, even
during draught conditions, with particular emphasis on
water conservation.

  Mark had plans to visit several general contractors
currently building in an area known as Sand Canyon.  Huge
custom homes were currently under construction and Mark
intended to bid on the landscaping.  His initial contacts had
been encouraging.  Most developers were anxious to
comply with reasonable environmental guidelines,
especially when they could do it economically.  Mark's
planting ideas and greatly discounted prices were
appealing.  He was suddenly in demand.

  I was glad that Mark was going to be away for the day.
There was something I needed to do without him tagging
along.  I wanted to buy him a wedding ring.  As soon as he
drove off I went to our bedroom and found the ring he had
bought for me.  I was off to find a jeweler.

  I drove to Northridge and went to the mall.  I assumed I'd
find more than one jewelry store there.  I was right.  In
addition to a handful of independent retail shops each
department store had their own jewelry department.

  I know nothing about jewelry.  I just wanted to buy a
wedding band exactly like the one Mark had given me and
have an inscription engraved.  Simple enough request.
Well so you would think.

  The first shop I visited was busy.  A rather large store
with many attractive display cases all expertly lighted to
enhance the beauty of the many gemstones and settings.
Two customers were ahead of me with only one person
working behind the counter.  I wasn't in a hurry so enjoyed
viewing the beautiful assortment of rings, earrings,
necklaces and watches.  Looking at the wedding bands I
didn't see anything that even resembled the simple ring
Mark had given me.  Some had diamond insets while others
were ornately etched.  I was concerned whether or not I'd
be able to find a matching band.

  "Hello sir, how can I help you?"  I looked up and saw a
slim, somewhat dour looking woman trying unsuccessfully
to look pleasant.

 "Hi, I want to purchase a wedding band but I don't see
what I'm looking for."

  "Oh don't worry, we have plenty more below the counter.
What style are you looking for sir?"

  Removing the ring from my pocket I handed it to her. "I
want a band exactly like this one and I'd like to have a
message engraved."

  "Well that shouldn't be a problem," she said.  "This is a
common style.  If we don't have it here we can quickly get
it from another store.  What size ring does your fiancee
wear?" she inquired politely.

  "The same size as this ring," I responded without thinking.

  "What!" she exclaimed as the smile disappeared from her
plain face.

  "Oh my gosh," I thought to myself.  "I'm going to have to
tell her I'm marrying a man or she will assume my
girlfriend is an Amazon.  Oh well, she'd figure it out
anyway when I tell her the inscription begins, My dear
Mark..."

  "Ah...well... I'm Gay.  I'm marrying a man and we are
close to the same size."

  "I see," she said coldly.  She suddenly looked like she'd
been sucking on alum.

  "The law says that I have to serve you but I want you to
know that I don't approve.  Your perversion mocks the
sanctity of marriage and one day you'll pay the ultimate
price for your insolence."

  I don't know how I managed to refrain from stooping to
her level.  I wanted to get right down in the mud and fight it
out with the self-righteous bitch.  But I didn't.   All I could
see was Mark's handsome face smiling at me and I knew
what he'd say.  'Steven, forgive those who bully you.'  This
woman wanted to take me back to that dark fearful place
where I lived before my memories were healed.  No, I
wasn't about to go back there.

  "Well, I guess you don't have what I'm looking for then.
Too bad.  It would have been nice if you could have shared
in my joy.  Thanks for your time though."

  I turned and walked out.  I felt wonderful.  In a very real
way both my thinking and emotional response had
changed.  The old Steven would have left hurt and angry.
The new Steven felt energized.  Love and forgiveness can
be exhilarating.

  Not daunted I walked into the next jewelry store.  This
store was much smaller and I was the only customer.  A
nice looking older woman welcomed me cheerfully.

  "Hello young man," her smile was genuine.

  "Hi," I smiled back.  "I'm looking for a wedding band."

  "Congratulations.  Is your blushing bride with you today?"

  "No, I'm afraid not.  My partner is a handsome man.  I'm
Gay and I hope that wont' be a problem," I said while
maintaining my smile."

  "Oh of course not honey.  Do you have a picture of your
man?"

  I liked her.  Her down home disposition and straight
forwardness were refreshing.

  The only picture I carry in my wallet is several years old.
I took it in Red Rock Canyon on a very warm and windy
afternoon.  Mark is standing on top of a large boulder
looking out across the canyon.  The wind is blowing
through his brown hair.  A slight smile graces his face and
his eyes are serene.  He's not wearing a shirt and the
sunlight dances across his hairy chest.  I think it's one of his
best photos.

  "Oh my Lord," she exclaimed.  "You're a very handsome
couple.  I just know you'll be happy together."

  "Thank you," I said.  "By the way, my name is Steven."

  "Pleased to meet you Steven, I'm Roberta.  Just call me
Bert."

   I showed her the ring Mark gave me.  "I'd like to find one
that matches, if possible."  Her countenance fell.

  "What's wrong I asked?"

  "Oh honey, we only sell sets."

  "What does that mean?" I asked confused.

  "A wedding set is an engagement ring and two wedding
bands.  Oh sweetie, I'm sorry.  We're a small company and
don't have a lot of selection.  Most of our business comes
from teenage girls buying earrings."

  She asked if I'd tried her competitor down the way.  I told
her of my experience with her competitor and Bert swore
like a trooper.  "Prissy ass little bitch.  Who died and made
her God?"

  I laughed at her comment but told her I was glad it
happened.

  "Bert, if I'd bought from her I wouldn't have had the good
fortune to meet you."

  "Oh honey that's sweet."  She came to my side of the
counter and gave me a hug.

  "I tell you what Bert.  Next time Mark and I are in
Northridge we'll stop by and say hi. I'd like him to meet
you."

  "I hope you do honey.  Best of luck to you."

  Becoming discouraged I decided to try the jewelry counter
at the Broadway.  Not a chance.  The young girl behind the
counter knew less than I did.  She had a pretty smile.

  I met with the same response every place I went.  One
jewelry store remained.  Located at the far end of the
sprawling shopping center, I decided to give it a try.
Walking through the crowded mall I was delighted to see
so many good-looking guys.  I checked them all out.  I
guess that's something most Gay men just automatically do.
My smile was returned by many of them.  By the time I
reached the jewelry store I was pretty hard.  Somewhat
embarrassed, I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked
in.

  There were several customers ahead of me.  Locating the
display counter showcasing wedding bands I spotted a
simple gold ring that looked right.  Only a few minutes
passed when a handsome man, who looked very much like
Mark, came to my assistance.  I pointed to the ring I was
interested in seeing.   Removing it from the case, he handed
it to me.  It was a perfect match.

  "At last," I almost shouted.  "I've had a difficult time
finding this ring," I smiled at him.

  "Today's your lucky day.  Not only have you found the
ring you're looking for but it's also on sale."

  His face broke into a winning grin.  Wow! Another cutie.
Guess I'll have to visit the mall more often, I thought to
myself.

  "Sold," I said triumphantly.  "I'll need it sized and
inscribed."

  "No problem. We can have it ready in two days.  If you
don't mind, please complete this questionnaire. Do you
know the ring size?"

  "Sure do."  I handed him my ring.  "Same as this one."

  "A-ha!  A matching pair," he said warmly.

   The questionnaire was designed to obtain personal
information for future marketing.  I was so relieved to
finally locate the ring I didn't mind answering the
questions.  I told them everything they wanted to know.  At
the bottom of the form, space was provided for the
inscription. I printed:

    My dear Mark, I will always love you.
    Stevie

  I handed the handsome stud my completed questionnaire
and he smiled as he read the inscription.  He never said a
word yet I suspected he was happy for me.





  Two days later the telephone rang.  Mark was helping Dan
unload a shipment of railroad ties so I answered it in the
store.

  "Woodland Nursery, how can I help you."

  "May I speak with Steven Houston please?"

  "This is Steven."

  "Hi Steven, this is Jim Redding from 'Touch Of Class
Jewelers'.  I'm calling to let you know that your ring is
ready."

  "Oh that's great.  I won't be able to pick it up until
Thursday.  Do you mind holding it for me?"

  "No, I don't mind but I'd be happy to deliver it to you on
my way home this afternoon.  I live at the Orchard
Townhouses in Valencia.  You're right on my way.
Actually I've purchased quite a few plants from you over
the years.  I thought you looked familiar when you came
into the store but I couldn't place you until I saw your
address"

  "Thanks, that's real nice of you.  Are you sure you don't
mind."

  "Not at all Mr. Houston.  I'll see you around 4:30."

  "Bye Jim.  Thanks"

  I was in a quandary.  I wasn't sure if I wanted Mark to see
the ring now or wait until the wedding.   I knew he'd be
curious about Jim and I certainly didn't want to lie to him. I
decided to give him the ring that evening.  After all, he
gave me his ring and I decided to wait until our wedding
before wearing it.  It would only be fair to give him the
same choice.

  It was a busy day.  The weather remained unseasonably
warm and customers were flocking to the nursery to buy
bareroot stock and bedding plants.  We sold 32 flats of
pansies in just two days.  Our inventory of bareroot fruit
trees was seriously low and it was only mid January.  I was
on the phone to my supplier when I noticed Jim walking
into the store.

  Once again I was struck by Jim's good looks and
resemblance to Mark.  He stands about six feet tall and has
a well-proportioned, runner's body.  I placed his weight at
about 170 pounds.  His hair is dark brown and his eyes are
filled with warmth.  I was having a difficult time guessing
his age.  He looked young but something about his eyes
suggested he might be near my age.  I remembered the
courtesy he demonstrated in the jewelry store when he
realized my fiancee was a man.  I liked him immediately.

 Looking up, I waved to him.  He grinned at me and I felt a
familiar stirring in my groin.  I covered the phone and told
him that I wouldn't be long.

  Just then Mark walked into the store through the
backdoor.  Seeing me on the phone and a potential
customer left unattended he walked up to Jim.  He was
looking at some pottery when Mark spoke up.

  "Hi there," Mark greeted.  "Is there anything I can help
you find?"

  Jim's already gleeful eyes suddenly became wide.  Mark
has that effect on people, male and female alike.  Jim's eyes
made a quick appraisal of the man standing in front of him.

  "Ah... no thanks, I'm waiting for Mr. Houston."

  "Okay.  I'm sure he won't be on the phone much longer."

  Mark turned and walked back in my direction.  I noticed
that Jim's eyes were fixed on Mark's every move and a
slight smile turned the corners of his mouth.  Reluctantly he
returned his gaze to the pottery.

  Mark, standing at my side, looked me in the eye.  "You
slut," he whispered while grinning at me.  I got weak in the
knees.

  I ended my phone conversation as quickly as possible and
walked to the front of the counter to greet Jim.

  "Hey Jim, thanks for coming by.  Can you stick around for
awhile?"

  "Sure.  But I don't want to be a bother."

  "It's no bother at all.  We close the doors at 5:00 p.m. in
the winter months. Give us a minute to close shop and we'll
go to the house."

  Mark walked into the backroom to lock the rear door.

  "Jim, quick, let me have the ring," I said.  That's Mark and
I don't want him to see it just yet."

  He handed me a small jewelry box and I slipped it into my
jacket pocket hanging on a hook by the cash register.
Within moments Mark was back and looking at me
curiously.

  "Well Stevie, aren't you going to introduce us?" he said
while smiling at Jim.

  "Jim, I'd like you to meet my partner, Mark Williams."

  Speaking to Mark, I explained that Jim is a long time
nursery customer and had stopped by to say hello.  I asked
Jim if he could come up to the house and visit with us for a
few minutes.

  Extending his hand Mark warmly greeted Jim.  "It's a
pleasure to meet you Jim.  Let's head over to the house."

  "What can I get you to drink Jim?" I asked.  We have just
about everything.  I'm going to have a beer."

  "That sounds good, do you need some help?"

  "Nah, just make yourself comfortable.  I'll be right back."

  I walked into the kitchen and found Mark leaning against
the wall.  He'd already pulled three bottles of Lowenbrau
out of the refrigerator and was drinking from one of them.

  "Steve.  What's up?"

  Uh-oh.  He called me Steve.

  "Nothing.  Why do you ask?"

  His eyes were twinkling.  "Because I know you and you're
up to something."

  "Well, what if I am?"

  "He's mighty damn cute Steve.  You've never said
anything to me about Jim Redding."

  I knew he was teasing and not really jealous so I decided
to tease him back.

  "All right.  Give me chance to explain.  I'm feeling really
bad about this.  I know I should have asked you first and
I'm sorry."

  My tone was serious and I feigned nervousness.

  "Please babe, just remember you're the man I'm in love
with."  Mark was no longer sure if I was joking or not.

  "Steve?"

  I met Jim last summer.  I was lonely and my self-esteem
was low.  You were so far away.  I was worried that we
were drifting apart and, well...let's just say I wasn't myself."

  "What are you telling me?"  He drained the rest of his beer
in one long swallow.  He was nervous.

  Okay, here it is.  One very hot and sultry afternoon I see
this great looking guy walking through the native plant
section. His appearance reminds me of you.  It was Jim.
His shirt was wide open and right away his hairy chest
turns me on.  The short pants he was wearing were tight.
He wasn't wearing underwear and I could see the outline of
his cock.  Mark, it's huge.  Anyway, we kinda became
buddies and he stops by to see me every now and again.
Don't worry, we haven't done anything.  Well, not really."

  Mark opened a second beer.

  "Jim stopped by this morning when you and Dan were
unloading the railroad ties and I invited him to come by
tonight for a dip in the hot tub.  I know I should have asked
you first but I thought it would be a great way for us to see
that magnificent cock of his."

  Mark was pensive.  I tried to continue with my story but I
couldn't help but smile.  It gave me away.  Mark just stared
at me for the longest time.  Finally he spoke.

 "Asshole!" You asshole!"  I'm gonna get you back for that
one.  You better watch out."

  He grabbed me in a tight hug and held me.  When he
finally released me he gave me a sweet kiss and told me
how much he loved me.

  "Okay," he said.  "Let's go get Jim out of his pants."  He
grabbed another beer from the refrigerator and walked into
the living room.

  "Sorry it took so long," Mark said.  "Sometimes Steven
can be a real asshole."

  "Is this a bad time guys?" Jim asked.

  "No, not at all."  We both laughed.  "I was just teasing
Mark and he's right, sometimes I can be an asshole," I said.

  Mark sat down next to me on the couch and put his arm
around me.  He didn't try to hide the fact that we are lovers.

  "Thanks for the beer," Jim said.

  "You're welcome.  I'm glad you came by tonight.  I've
thought of you often since we met.  You were very gracious
to me, especially when you realized that I was Gay.  Thank
you for making an awkward situation pleasant.

  "Ah... what are you guys talking about?" Mark asked.
And don't go giving me a wild story Steven."

  "I promise I'll tell you, but not right now.  Okay?"  I
patted the inside of his thigh softly and gave him a loving
smile.  He grinned.

  "You guys have a great relationship.  It's pretty obvious
that you're deeply in love."

  "Yes we are.  Mark is my entire world."

  Jim stayed for a couple of hours and we made a new
friend.   He's our age and works part time at the jewelry
store while carrying a full load of units at the University.
He's studying biology with the intention of going into
medical research.  As I suspected, he's Gay and lives with
his longtime boyfriend.

  What I found most interesting is his hobby.  He writes
Gay erotica.  Many of his stories have been published in
Gay magazines.  He eventually sent us copies of some of
his stories and they are the most exciting male erotica I've
ever read.  Unlike most Gay fiction, which awkwardly
jumps from one sex scene to the next, his characters are
multidimensional and the story line is plausible.

  We invited he and his boyfriend to come and visit us and
use the hot tub.  We also invited them to our wedding.
Eventually they became friends with Gary and Dan and the
six of us often socialize and have taken trips together.

  After Jim left I told Mark that I wanted to talk with him.

  "Okay sweetheart, are you finally going to tell me what's
going on?"

  "Yes.  I wasn't trying to keep a secret from you baby.  I
wanted to wait for us to be alone."  Suddenly I felt nervous
and Mark noticed.

  "What's wrong babe?" he said as he pulled me tight.

  "Nothing.  I have something for you Mark.  Let me go get
it."

  I walked across the room to where my jacket was hanging
and retrieved the jewelry box.  Cradling it in my hand so
that Mark couldn't see it, I returned to the couch.  Sitting
back down next to his strong yet tender body he again put
his arm around me and pulled me tight.

  "I met Jim a couple of days ago.  I made a purchase at the
mall and he dropped it off on his way home."

  I took Mark's hand and placed in it the jewelry box.  "I
love you honey.  This is for you."

  He closed his hand around the small box and looked
deeply into my eyes.  His own eyes were filled with love
and tenderness and my heart swelled.  He gently placed his
hand against my cheek as he leaned forward and sweetly
kissed my lips.

  "Stevie, I love you so much."

  He opened the box and removed the ring.  His lovely
brown eyes sparkled with love as he read the inscription.
After several moments of silence he spoke to me in a soft
voice that reached deep into my heart.

  "That day in the canyon, as we sat in the shade of the
boulder, you promised to love me forever.  You've kept that
promise all these years.  You are remarkable Steven.  Why
me?  Why did you choose me?  I'll never understand it."

  "Because you're the most wonderful man I've ever met.
I've never known a person with a heart as pure as yours.  I
fell in love with you the day we met.  That night, as we sat
across the dinner table at your mom's house, I couldn't take
my eyes off of you.  Did you notice?"

  "Yes, I noticed.  I didn't know why you were looking at
me so intently but I didn't want you to stop. Your eyes were
beautiful and I found myself getting lost in them. That
night you awakened something in my soul.  For days
afterward I felt different and didn't know why.  I found
myself thinking about you in class.  I'd open a book and try
to study but found that I wasn't remembering anything I
read.  I'd find myself smiling for no apparent reason.  At
school I'd find ways to meet you between classes. I wanted
to be near you and hear your voice.  At night I'd close my
eyes and your blue eyes would be smiling at me.  For the
first time in my life I was happy.  Joy had slumbered
restlessly within my soul until that night when you
awakened it with your eyes.  My life has never been the
same."

  We embraced and kissed each other with a passion deeper
than anything we'd experienced in the past.  I felt as if our
very souls were intertwining and forming a knot that all
eternity could not unravel.  All levels of my being were
alive and pulsing.  Something remarkable was taking place.
I understood that the marriage Mark and I had so longed for
had already taken place, years ago, as we looked into each
other's eyes that wonderful evening in Mrs. Williams's
dining room.  All that remained now was a ceremony
where that union could be publicly proclaimed.

  Mark spoke first.  "I want to wear your ring now."

  "I want to wear your ring too."

  I went into our bedroom and got the wedding band Mark
had given me.  Sitting back down beside him I handed him
the ring and took back the one I bought him.

  Looking into his eyes I took both of his hands into mine.

  "Mark, since the moment I first saw you, I loved you.  I
knew that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of
my life with.  As I looked at you I saw the most handsome
man I'd ever seen.  Your beauty is breathtaking.  I can
honestly say that I've never seen a man that is more
attractive than you are.

  As time passed I discovered that your greatest beauty lies
within that magnificent exterior.  There I found a wise,
analytical mind, always poised and ready to meet life's
challenges.  A soaring spirit that flies high above the
mundane pursuits most of us accept as life.   A soul that
knows true humility, never hiding from the pain of others
yet embracing their sorrow and joy.  A heart that rejoices in
all that is good.   I discovered a man in whom there is truly
goodness and love. You are the kindest, most genuine and
accepting human being I know.  You've shown me the
goodness that lives within the human spirit and because of
your example, I've become a better person.  Mark, you've
made me happier than I ever imagined I could be.

  I love you with all my heart.  I cannot imagine my life
apart from you.  I want to stand by your side and be your
friend, lover and life partner.  I promise to support,
comfort, honor and love you for the rest of my life.   I will
forsake all others and give my self totally and forever to
you."

  While looking into his eyes I slipped my ring onto his
finger.  His eyes closed as a tear silently traced its way
down his cheek.  When he reopened them I saw that they
were filled with tenderness and joy.  How many wonderful
hours had we spent looking into each other's eyes?  Yet I
knew this was only the beginning of a love that would
continue into eternity.

  "Steven," he spoke softly.  Your words are so kind and
generous.  You paint a picture of a man that I don't easily
recognize as myself.

  Most of my life I was a frightened little boy desperately
looking for something I couldn't identify.  I thought if I
smiled big enough and laughed loud enough that people
would like me and reward me with their approval.  That, or
so I believed, was the lonely road I must follow until I
found happiness and security.  I smiled for the entire world
to see while my heart slowly died inside of me.

  That all changed the night I met you.  Somehow you
reached past the facade and embraced the lonely little boy.
I'll never know how you did that, but you saved my life.
The lonely smile and hollow laughter was beginning to fall
apart.  I was losing myself as I searched for the
unobtainable.  Then you, with your blue eyes, freely gave
me what I was looking for.  You loved me.

  Steven, I will love you as long as God gives me breath.
Even then, when life as we know it lapses into eternity, I
will love you.  I will support and honor you before all
others.  I will cherish you as my most precious gift and
never forsake you.  It doesn't matter what life holds for us.
Nothing will separate me from the man that has made me
whole.  I love you Steven.  I am yours to have and to hold,
from this day forward."

  He placed his ring on my finger and we held each other as
we sat on the couch that had already given birth to so many
treasured memories.


To be continued.



The next installment will be the last.  I'm so glad that I
listened to my friend and submitted my story to Nifty.  It
has been a thoroughly delightful experience and I've
enjoyed the many e-mails you have sent to me.  I had no
idea that posting the story would result in so many new
friendships.

I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season.
Whatever your traditions or beliefs, this is certainly a
time to remember the sanctity of all life and enjoy the
wonderful richness of diversity.

Happy Holidays,
Mark