Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 18:24:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: John <traveller_1141@yahoo.com>
Subject: James 15

Yikes!  I never cease to be amazed at some of the emails I am getting from
some people.  Incredible.  Thank you all so much.  I want to mention to all
of you that I never delete an email from a reader who contacts me.  Every
single one of them is saved in a folder and I periodically go back and
review them for inspiration and maybe a pick-me-up when I read them.  To
those of you who have become my "regulars," thanks!  And to those who are
first-time writers, a thank you to you too.  For those of you who haven't
written, piss on you.  Just kidding!  Thanks to you for reading.

I want to apologize for leaving several important people off my
introductory messages with the last few chapters.  First, to everyone who
wrote me during my encounter with the unpleasant side of life (and I'll
leave it at that), thank you so much.  Your emails meant a lot to me.

Second, I forgot my devoted fan.  Thanks Alex.

To Mike and Alan... I'm sorry if my absence and lack of contact offended
you.  I wish we could talk again.


Part XV

	"Yeah, blow it out your ass!"
	The sound of honking and yelling woke me up from my nap.  I shook
my head a little, trying to clear out the cobwebs.  My whole right side
ached from being pressed up against the door and window, and I was sure I
had a huge red mark on my neck from the seatbelt.  Then I became aware of
Dave's loud cursing again and I looked over in time to see him flip the
bird to a little red car that we were zooming past.  I frowned.  "Uh, Dave,
what's going on?"
	Dave rolled his eyes.  "Stupid fucker in his stupid fucking little
car cut me off a minute ago.  Bastard!" he yelled as he swung back into the
right lane.
	I shook my head, hoping that Dave's road rage wouldn't kill me.
Then again, I thought ruefully, that would solve the problem of how to deal
with my family.  I looked down at the clock and my eyes bulged out.
"One-thirty?" I squeaked out.  "Damn, Dave, I was supposed to relieve you
an hour ago!"
	Dave shrugged.  "You were asleep, I felt okay, so I kept driving.
Besides," he grinned and winked, "you looked too cute to wake up all
snuggled up in the sun."
	I rolled my eyes.  "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  So where are we?"
	"Interstate 65 just south of Indianapolis."
	My eyes widened again.  "Indiana?  How come we're in Indiana
already?"  I looked down at the speedometer.  The needle was fixed between
eighty-five and ninety.  I then noticed how fast the bland landscape of
Indiana was passing by.  "Have you been driving this fast all morning?"
	Dave laughed.  "Uh-huh.  Managed to avoid the highway patrol, too."
	"Oh, God," I moaned.  I reached up and caressed the dash.  "Sorry
about the punishment, baby.  I'll be driving soon and we'll drive at a more
humane speed."  I emphasized `humane' with a pointed look at Dave, who just
stuck his tongue out and flipped me off.  "Promises, promises," I chided.
"Don't get any ideas, anyway.  I suspect my parents, for all their
`progression,' will still have us in separate bedrooms."
	Dave looked pained.  "How in the world are we going to make it?" he
asked.
	I leaned back.  "Don't ask me, I'm not the sex-crazed one."
	Dave looked at me in utter disbelief.  "Oh yeah?" he asked, his
voice rising.  "Who was it that woke me up the night before last at 2 am,
knowing he had a major interview early the next morning, by saying, `Dave,
wake up, I need it and I need it now'?"
	I grinned.  "Horniness has no clock."
	Dave yawned.  "Don't I know it.  I don't think I've gotten a full
night's sleep since we started going out."
	I ignored Dave's remark and changed the subject.  "When is it my
turn to drive?"
	"I don't know.  When do you want to eat?"  As if on cue, my stomach
chose that moment to growl loudly.  "I guess that's my answer," Dave
teased.  He signaled and turned off at the next exit.


	Forty minutes, a grilled chicken sandwich and a salad, and a
super-sized Big Mac meal for Dave later, we were back on the road with me
behind the wheel.  This time I set the needle firmly on seventy.  Dave
looked over and grimaced.  "How the hell did I end up getting engaged to
such a grandpa?"
	"Just lucky, I guess.  Besides, you never complained before.  I
guess the compensation's more than adequate."  I reached over and patted
Dave's fly with my last sentence.
	Dave snorted.  "Yeah, I guess so."  He looked out the window for a
bit.  "Man, this place is boring!  Are there any hills around here?"
	I shook my head.  "Nope."
	"Jeez," Dave said.  "Cornfields and grain elevators.  Woo-hoo."
	We drove in silence for about ten minutes before Dave turned back
to me.  "You're getting nervous, aren't you?"
	My mouth clenched.  "With every passing mile."
	Dave nodded thoughtfully, then his face lit up in a grin.  "I've
got an idea.  I think I can get you to relax a little and think about good
stuff."
	I sighed.  "Go ahead.  I'll try anything."
	"We established that on Halloween night so I don't think we need to
go there."  Dave flinched in pain as I reached out and pinched his nipple.
"Okay, okay!  Remember how I filled you in on my family and stuff when I
took you home for Thanksgiving?"
	I nodded.  "Sure.  Helped a lot, too."
	"Well, how about you do that with me now?"
	I had to smile.  "Okay, I'm game.  Where do you want me to start?"
	"Sisters.  I've met one and heard about the other, so go from
there."
	I nodded and began thinking.  "Okay, we'll start off with the one
you met.  Deanna.  She's the smart one, valedictorian of her class.  She
has an ability to get along with everyone.  I see her going into politics
someday."
	Dave grinned.  "Sounds like someone else I know who has never met a
stranger."
	"Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Anyway, Dee loves to have fun, but she can
be kind of cerebral.  She loves to watch Jeopardy and shows like that.
She`s totally obsessed with getting her career started over all else.
She`s majoring in marketing in college."  Dave absorbed this info, and
motioned for me to go on.  "Okay, then there's Elizabeth.  She's a doll.
Always been really rambunctious, even when we were little.  She was always
getting into trouble, then she'd bat her eyelashes in this `who, me' style
and never got blamed for anything.  She's really pretty, and I'm not
surprised she's getting married so soon after high school."
	"Why do you say that?" Dave asked.
	"Well, she is a lot like our Mom.  She is the homemaker type
person, loves doing stuff around the house.  I can see her finding a nice
local guy and getting married, and having a quiet happy life."
	Dave grinned.  "Not the style of life you wanted?"
	I scrunched my face as I considered it.  "Well, it depends.  Did I
want to stay in rural Kentucky and marry some local girl and squeeze out a
few kids?  Nah, you know very well how I feel about that.  But I know all
about wanting a quiet, happy life.  That describes my parents' marriage
totally.  Neither of them have a college education, they married right out
of high school, and everything was great.  Well, until their oldest decided
he liked dick more than pussy."
	Dave looked at me sternly.  "Save it for later.  Go on about your
sisters."
	"Okay, okay.  Then there's Lauren.  Lauren was still in elementary
school when I left, and she and I only talked briefly the other day when I
called.  I don't even know how much she remembers about me.  I do remember
that she was absolutely in love with some actor in teeny movies.  I can't
even remember his name now.  She showed signs of being another Elizabeth."
I sighed.  "Lord help us if she is."  Dave laughed.
	"Then there are my two brothers.  Gary is the younger one.  Being
the youngest of the whole family, he had to be different.  He's quiet,
always stealing off in the middle of the day to just lie in the field,
staring at the sky.  He was a deep kid, even then.  I wonder what direction
he's gone in," I mused.  Then my thoughts turned to my other brother and I
felt my whole body tense.
	Dave noticed my silence.  "What's wrong?"
	I shook my head.  "Just thinking about my other brother.  Paul."  I
looked out onto the road.  "He and I had a special relationship, Dave.  We
were tight.  Really tight."
	Dave put his hand on mine.  "He's the one you're worried about the
most, isn't he?"
	I nodded, trying to blink away the tears that sprung to my eyes as
I thought of the look my brother gave me when I came home.  "I don't know
what he's going to say to me, or if he's going to say anything.  Paul was
always a little more reserved than me, a little more adept at hiding his
feelings."
	Dave squeezed my hand.  "Hey, tell me some more about him.  Maybe
that will clear all the worry away."
	I glanced over and smiled.  "Okay.  Hmm," I thought.  "Yeah.  Well,
Paul's a little more of a country boy than I am.  He and I both were always
out on the farm doing stuff, but he was the one who wanted the big-ass
truck with all the chrome and big tires and stuff.  He always said he
wanted to get one of those loud mufflers, and I told him that if I ever
caught him with one I was going to wrap it around his neck.  So I don't
know if he ever did.
	"He played football, baseball.  I remember the time he tried to
chew tobacco," I said as I started laughing.  "He had it in his mouth for
three seconds before he threw up."  Dave and I both laughed.  I smiled
fondly.  "Everything I did, he had to do.  My grandmother always hummed `Me
and My Shadow' when we would come over, because Paul was everywhere I was.
When Dad let me ride a horse alone for the first time, Paul cried because
Dad wouldn't let him."
	Dave made a face.  "Did it ever get on your nerves?"
	I chuckled.  "Not for a second.  I loved the attention when I was
younger.  And as we grew up, he seemed to know when I wanted some time to
myself.  Although," I said with a grimace, "there were some weird moments
when I was ten and discovered the joys of masturbation.  I sure didn't want
my kid brother around to watch me jack off.  So I went off to the barn, to
the truck, anywhere to avoid him when I got horny.  And believe me, it
wasn't easy."  Dave was howling with laughter.  "It was only bad for about
a year or two.  Then I figured it was time to let him in on the secret, and
he never bothered me again."
	Dave frowned for a second.  "Umm, I don't know how to ask this, but
I'm just kind of curious.  Is he, ummm... cut?"
	I let out a belly laugh.  "No, he isn't.  Nobody in my family is.
I actually asked my Dad why I had my skin still, and he told me his dad
wasn't cut, none of his uncles or brothers were cut, and he didn't have it
done to me or Paul.  When Gary was born, he was left natural.  And before
you ask, no, Paul doesn't wear underwear either.  That's a little habit I
picked up from Dad, and Paul picked it up from me."
	Dave gave me a strange look.  "That sounds like an interesting
story."
	I grinned.  "Not as interesting as it sounds."  I maneuvered us
around a slow-moving car.  "We were out fixing a fence one day and Dad had
to take a piss.  So he walked around the truck and let fly.  I had to get
something out of the bed and I noticed he wasn't wearing any underwear.
Well, you know me, always curious and never one to keep a question to
myself.  So I asked him where his drawers were.  He just rolled his eyes
and said, `Son, that's one reason being unclipped is a good thing.  No
chafing on your dick head when you freeball it.  Besides, it allows for
easy access when you piss and at other times.'  When he said that, he
clapped me on the shoulder and wagged his eyebrows.  I was eleven, and sure
didn't want to think about my folks having sex, so I just got disgusted
which made him laugh even more.
	"But, from that day on I left the underwear off.  Mom seemed to
figure it out when none of my underwear made it into the dirty clothes
anymore.  Of course, it was only a matter of time before Paul discovered it
and started going without himself.  That boy would do anything I did.  Mom
had to warn me constantly to be careful because she didn't want me hurt and
also because Paul would do anything I did."
	Dave shifted in his seat.  "Well, since we started talking about
equipment, there's something else I'm curious about."
	"Stop," I said.  "I already know what you're going to ask.  Yes, it
is.  It runs in the family."  Dave's eyes got huge.  I laughed.  "You know,
that's exactly the reaction I got when this one girl who I went out with
found out what I was packing.  She'd asked me if it was just me, or if it
ran in the family.  I later found out she went to bed with Paul to find out
for sure.  If I'm not mistaken, that's when Paul lost his virginity."
Dave's mouth was hanging open.  "Close your mouth Dave, you're going to
catch flies.  Especially around here," I added.  "So, are there any other
questions you have about my male relatives' equipment?"
	"Ahh, no.  None at all."  Dave was blushing to his roots.  I loved
to tease him.  He was so cute when he was embarrassed.  Not a lot made him
blush, but when it did it was spectacular.
	I turned my hand over and squeezed Dave's hand.  "Thanks, Dave."
	"For what?"
	"For taking my mind off everything.  I needed that."
	Dave smiled.  "You'd do the same."  He leaned over and we kissed
lightly.


	I looked over at Dave.  Sound asleep.  Now I know why he left me
asleep before.  He looked so cute snuggled up in the seat.  I looked down
the highway.  We had been off the interstate for about thirty minutes, and
had about fifteen miles left to go.  I took a deep breath and fought down
the anxiety that threatened to rise up at any second.  I looked back at
Dave.  "Wake up, sweetheart," I said as I lightly shook his shoulder.
	"Mmm, not now, James.  Jack off or something, I'm tired this
morning," he mumbled.
	I cracked up.  That took the cake.  I had to pull off the road I
was laughing so hard.  Dave shook his head and finally woke up.  He looked
around with a confused look.  "Where the hell are we?"
	I stopped laughing long enough to choke out, "Welcome to Kentucky,
Dave."
	Dave looked around at the trees and fields.  "This is it?" he
asked, which only made me laugh harder.  He looked back at me.  "What the
hell are you laughing about?"
	I was wheezing with giggles.  "What you said when I tried to wake
you up!  Hee hee... you told me to jack off and let you sleep."
	Dave's eyes widened.  "I said that?"
	I just nodded and cracked up again.  "So sometimes you wish I would
just roll over and play with myself instead of wanting to involve you when
I'm horny in the morning?" I asked between chuckles.
	"No!  Of course not.  Well, maybe once in a while," Dave said
sheepishly.  "But I never actually say it!  And I'm always glad I didn't."
	I rolled my eyes and punched Dave lightly in the arm.  "Well, next
time I wake up horny, I'll let you sleep."
	Dave looked at me in mock horror.  "Don't even think about it!"
	We both laughed and I pulled back onto the highway.  Dave peered
out the windshield.  "I expected to see white fences and bluegrass and all
that.  Churchill Downs.  Rupp Arena, that kind of stuff."
	I looked at Dave.  "You are such a tourist," I said and laughed.
"Churchill is in Louisville, which is that way," I said as I pointed
northwest.  "Rupp is in Lexington, which is that way."  I pointed
northeast.  "And we don't have white fences.  Those are usually in
Bluegrass country, the thoroughbred farms around Lexington."
	"Ah," Dave said.  "Pretty country, now that I'm awake enough to
appreciate it.  So how much farther?"
	I looked around.  I knew each inch of this road like that back of
my hand.  "Not too far.  You'll know we're getting close when you see all
the mailboxes that say `Kennedy.' "  In response to Dave's inquisitive
look, I explained.  "Almost all of my family live within about twenty or
thirty miles of my house.  Most within ten miles of it.  You see, my family
lives on the old home place.  Grandad and Grandma moved to a smaller house
in town about fifteen years ago so they could be closer to their friends
and the store and stuff.  Dad and Mom moved into the big house.  All my
aunts and uncles live close by."
	"Does your grandfather still work on the farm?"
	I nodded.  "Sure he does.  He still is main owner, so he has to
sign off on all the important stuff.  Dad does all the regular everyday
stuff like buying feed and all, but Grandad has to sign off on sales and
major purchases.  It's all set down in the partnership.  Grandad says if
you're going to have a family business and still keep the family together,
you have to have everyone's responsibilities set down in a contract.
Grandad is out at least four times a week and on Saturdays, at least he was
when I left.  I don't know about now."
	"What about your aunts and uncles?" Dave asked.
	"They all live close by, like I said.  All of my uncles still do
some work on the farm, but not as much as Dad does.  My cousins all do some
work to help out, too.  All of my aunts and uncles get a share of the money
from the farm, so they help out when they can, but some of them have their
own places and businesses."  I looked out and saw my Uncle Donald's
mailbox.  I took a deep breath.  First one in the line.
	Two miles later, I saw the main drive.  I slowed down and put on my
left blinker.  I pointed out to Dave, "Here it is."  The drive was paved
from the road to the main house, then was gravel the rest of the way
around.  I looked out at the familiar sights and waves of emotions passed.
Familiarity, comfort, and happiness warred with the guilt, pain, and
sadness that I still felt as I remembered the morning I left.
	Dave looked over at me.  He grabbed my right hand off the steering
wheel.  "Squeeze.  As hard as you have to."  I closed my eyes for a second
and took a deep breath and squeezed Dave's hand.  When I opened them, Dave
was looking at me in concern.  My hand was white with the death grip I had
on Dave's hand.  I smiled weakly and he let go.  I started down the drive
again.
	Before long, the house came into view.  It wasn't a huge house, but
fairly large.  Two stories and brick, surrounded by older trees.  Mom had
been busy this spring, I thought to myself as I noticed all the flowers and
plants on the porch and in small beds.  Memories came to my mind like
bubbles.  Running around the yard with my cousins, Paul and my sisters in
tow.  Family barbecues.  Christmas dinner.  Tears again popped to my eyes.
To distract myself, I started pointing out stuff to Dave.
	"Over there, that's where our old swing was when I was little," I
said as I pointed out an old oak tree.  "The barns are back there.  You
can't really see them for the trees."  I pulled around to the rear of the
house where the garage was.  Life had been good to the folks, I thought to
myself.  They'd finally been able to put in a pool.  I laughed.  "Dad
wanted to put in a pool for as long as I can remember," I said.  I stopped
the car, put it in park, and turned it off.  Then I quietly laid my head
down on the steering wheel.
	Dave didn't say a word, he just put his hand on my shoulder.  I
breathed deeply for a second.  Then I sat up.  I looked at Dave.  "You
ready?" I asked.
	"If you are, then I am," he said.
	I nodded, and then got out.  Familiar smells assaulted me and again
my mind was flooded with memories.  Bringing in hay to sell and for my
uncle's cattle, cleaning out the barns, my mother's favorite
flowers... everything was so familiar.  I couldn't believe I was really
back home.  Then I caught another whiff.  Chocolate cake.  My mother's
special chocolate cake.  I inherited my sweet tooth from my mother, and we
both loved chocolate like no one else in our family.  She only made that
cake on special occasions, so the fact that she made it for my homecoming
caused my heart to leap with a little bit of hope.
	Dave had walked around the front of the Wagoneer to join me.  I
looked at him and smiled.  "What do you think?"
	Dave nodded and smiled.  "Very nice.  I can see why it was so much
fun to grow up here."
	I laughed.  "Keep in mind the pool is a recent addition."  Dave
laughed.
	Then the door opened.  My breath caught as a figure walked out.  I
relaxed when I recognized Deanna.  She ran over and grabbed me in a hug.
"Ah, Jamie, you're home!"  She didn't want to let me go.
	"It's good to be here, Dee."  At that moment, I meant it.  The good
memories were still in my head and Dee's welcome helped those along.
	Dee finally let me go and turned to Dave.  She hugged him.  "So,
what do you think?" she asked.
	Dave smiled again.  "Very nice."
	Dee laughed and she looked at me.  Her eyes became a little moist.
"I always hoped to see you back here again someday."  Tears came to my eyes
as we hugged again.
	We pulled apart and I looked around.  "So where's everyone else?"
	As if on cue, the back door opened again and another pretty blond
girl came out.  A big grin came to my face.  "Liz!" I yelled out.
	Elizabeth ran over much as Dee had, and she grabbed me in a hug.
"Hey ugly brother!  You finally got here!"  She let me go.  "And you must
be Dave!  Dee's told me a lot about you and Jamie said some stuff the other
day."  She looked at Dave.  "Excellent taste, big brother."  I rolled my
eyes as Dave blushed.  "So, how was your trip?  Did you have problems with
traffic?  What do you think of the pool?  I'm so excited that you're home!"
	Liz always did talk a mile a minute, I thought.  I held up my hand.
"Whoa, whoa!  Breathe, Liz, breathe!"
	Dee and Liz both laughed.  Liz looked at Dave.  "He always did have
to get me to stop.  You see, when I get excited I just start talking and
talking and nobody can shut me up and then I just end up getting on
everyone's nerves because I go on and on without stopping and..."
	"Liz!" Dee and I both yelled.  Dave was shaking his head in
amazement.  Then the door opened again.  My breath died in my throat.  I
broke out in a sweat as the figure walked over to where we were all
standing.  Dee and Liz moved back a little to let the woman in.  She walked
up to me with a completely unreadable look.  I swallowed nervously but
didn't look away from her brown eyes.
	She stood toe to toe with me and looked me up and down.  Then her
gaze met mine again.  I then noticed the sheen in them.  "My baby," she
choked out.  Tears came to my eyes too as I looked at my mother for the
first time in nearly six years.
	She took me into her arms. "My baby's come home."  I choked as the
tears flowed freely down my face.  For a few minutes, neither of us moved
from our embrace.  Dee and Liz were both crying, and I saw Dave wipe his
eyes slightly.
	I pulled back and looked at her.  Mom had held up very well,
although she had a few more lines on her face than before.  She smiled
gently at me.  "Welcome home, James."  I smiled.  "You look well."
	"So do you," I said as I sniffled.  Then I reached out for Dave.
"Mom, this is Dave Collins.  Dave, my mother, Linda."
	Dave held out his hand and bowed slightly.  "Pleasure to meet you,
ma'am."
	I noticed a strained look come into my mother's face, but she
recovered quickly.  She took a quick look at me and then back to Dave.  Her
face became a mask, totally unreadable again.  "Yes, likewise," she said in
an even voice as she shook his hand.  I noticed something in her look
before she let go.  I looked at Dave, who looked back to me.  The
uncertainty flowed between us.
	Mom let out a breath.  "Well, so you're here.  You're both," she
said, emphasizing both, "here.  Come on in, I'm sure you'd like a snack."
She took another quick look at Dave before she turned to go inside.
	I looked at Dee.  "I told you," I muttered.  "She doesn't want us
here."
	"Now Jamie, stop it.  She just needs some time to get used to it,"
Liz said.
	"Time?" I said loudly.  "Whatever.  I know Mom, and she was hardly
friendly to Dave.  I'm telling you, she doesn't want him here, and if he's
not wanted, then I'm not either."
	Dee sighed.  "Look, James, this is a two-way street here.  You
can't have instant acceptance.  Mom has to get used to you and Dave, and
there's no way around it.  Now come on inside.  Dad, Lauren, and Gary are
inside."  Dee and Liz turned around and walked to the door.
	I turned to Dave.  "Still want to do this?" I asked.
	Dave looked at my sisters and back at me.  "Yeah, I do."  He put
his hand on my shoulder.  "Look James, you have a choice here.  You can
stay mad and leave, or you can work through the pain to finally get back
your family.  What's it going to be?"
	I looked around.  There was no denying that I had deeply missed
this place, even if I had never admitted it to myself.  I looked back into
Dave's blue eyes.  "Okay," I said.
	Dave smiled.  "Good.  Remember, I'm here.  I'm right here with
you."
	I hugged Dave.  "You don't know what a source of strength that is
to me right now."
	I let him go and then grabbed his hand.  "Come on," I said.  We
walked, hand in hand, to the back door.


	Talk about a strained affair, I thought to myself as I looked
around the table.  Chocolate cake and ice cream, and cold, strained
silence.  What a party.  Mom sat at one end, Dad at another.  Dee, Liz,
Lauren, and Gary sat at their usual places.  I sat opposite my usual spot
so I could sit next to Dave.  Paul had apparently decided to skip our
little family reunion by running out of the house about thirty minutes
before I arrived, claiming to have forgotten some random errand.  Yeah,
right.
	"This is delicious cake, Mrs. Kennedy," Dave said, breaking the
silence.  As he spoke, I noticed a glance between my parents.  My
temperature slowly began to rise.
	"Thank you," Mom said.  She then promptly looked back at her cake.
I rolled my eyes and looked at Dave and smiled.  He shrugged.
	"So, how does it feel to have your masters, Jamie?" Liz asked.
	I smiled.  "Pretty good.  The job market is kind of slow out there
now, but I'm pretty confident I'll have something before the fall."
	"You mean they hire people like you to teach?  I thought they
didn`t let gays teach," my Dad said.
	My eyes widened and I glared at him.  "What's that supposed to
mean?" I asked.
	"James, don't raise your voice to your father like that," my mother
chided.
	"Like hell!" I yelled.  "I want to know what he means by that!"
	"Calm down," my father said.  "I didn't mean it like it sounded."
	"Oh, like there's another way I could take that?" I asked
incredulously.
	"James, I was trying to lighten the mood."
	"By making fun of me being gay?"
	My father sighed deeply.  "Look James, I don't know how to talk to
you anymore.  What can I say that won't set you off?  What do you want me
to say?"
	I looked down at my untouched cake.  What could he say, indeed.
Maybe I should just stop reacting and try practicing what I preach all the
time.  I looked up at the ceiling, then at my father.  "I don't know," I
mumbled.
	My mother fumbled with her fork.  "Look, James, we won't pretend to
be comfortable with this, even now.  It's very difficult."
	I looked at the table, then at my mother.  "It's not difficult for
me?  Look at it from my point of view."
	"James, we do understand how you felt.  We dropped the ball, and we
feel terrible.  I won't say that we understand, or even approve.  But you
are our son."
	I nodded at her and looked at my dad.  He swallowed, then he nodded
and smiled.  "Okay," I replied.  "And what about Dave?"
	Mom and Dad shared a look.  "What about Dave?"
	"The two of you have been barely courteous since we arrived," I
said.  "He's part of the deal.  You know that I love him, and he loves me."
	Mom looked down.  "James, honey, we know that, but..."
	"No, don't say it's difficult," I said, getting a little hot under
the collar.  "I understand this is all new, and I'm willing to take it
slowly.  But I'm not going to stand by while you treat him like some
criminal."
	"Now James, we haven't treated him like a criminal," Dad chided.
	I rolled my eyes.  "No, you just talk about him like he isn't here.
Like you did just now?"
	Dad frowned.  "Okay, you're right.  I'll do better.  Starting right
now," he said as he stood up.  "Welcome to our home, Dave."  Dad shook his
hand.  Dave smiled and returned the shake.  Step one, I thought to myself.


	"Separate bedrooms aren't so bad," Dave remarked as I put his other
bag down.  "It's not like we weren't expecting it."
	"Yeah, I know," I said as I sat down on the bed.  "I guess I should
be glad they've decided to acknowledge your existence."
	Dave laughed.  "It was getting a little frosty down there."
	I stood up and hugged him.  "You've been great so far.  I love you
so much."  I kissed him lightly, then we touched foreheads.
	"Ahem."  A soft cough interrupted us.  It was my little sister,
Lauren.
	"Hey Lauren," I said.  "What's up?"
	"Not much.  Can I come in?" she asked softly.
	Dave smiled.  "Sure.  I was just going to unpack some."
	Lauren came in and sat on the bed next to me.  She was growing into
a lovely young woman.  "I wanted to talk to the two of you.  I wanted to
let you know that it's okay with me that you two are together."
	I smiled at her, then at Dave.  I touched her shoulder.  "Thanks,
Girly-girl.  I'm glad you said that."
	Lauren giggled as I said my old nickname for her.  Lauren had been
very proper and feminine as a little girl, more so than even Elizabeth.  I
called her Girly-girl from age four on.  "I wish Mom and Dad would ease up.
I know it sucks, but they'll get over it in time."
	I looked at the ceiling.  "I hope you're right."
	She leaned against my shoulder.  "Don't worry, Jamie.  I am.
They've talked about you a lot.  We have this new minister at church.  He
isn't nearly as critical as the old guy who was here when you left.  He's
pretty progressive.  I know Mom and Dad have talked to him about you, and
he was one of the reasons they've eased up as much as they have."
	I looked at Dave in surprise.  "Well, that's nice to hear."  I
breathed out a deep breath.  "So how come this guy is so easy?"
	Lauren looked at the door.  "Well, I have talked to him too.  He
told me his sister is a lesbian, so he knows firsthand how tough it is on
the families.  He's helped them a lot."  Lauren stood up and walked to the
window and looked out.  "I can tell you it's been tough on them today.  I
think they thought they were ready for you to come home with Dave, but it
still kind of caught them by surprise, the actual reality of it.  Brother
Bill has helped a lot, with all of us.  Well, except Paul."
	Dave looked away.  I laid back on the bed.  "Why not Paul?"
	Lauren frowned.  "Yeah, I know.  We all went into counseling with
him several months ago.  It was when Liz laid her foot down about inviting
you to her wedding.  Mom and Dad went, then soon we were all going.  Paul
refused to go.  He never said why, and Mom and Dad didn't make him.  I
think he still has some stuff to work through."
	I felt this great sadness wash over me.  "Figures," I murmured.
	Lauren sat next to me again.  "Hey, ease up big brother.  It'll
work out."
	I looked at her fondly.  "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you,
Girly-girl."
	Lauren laid her head on my shoulder.  "Don't worry, Jamie.  All's
forgiven."
	I wrapped my arm around her and then we both stood up.  "Okay, time
for you to give your future brother-in-law a hug, too."
	Lauren laughed and gave Dave a big hug.  "I have to say, Jamie, you
have good taste.  He's quite a hunk."  Dave blushed deeply.  I cracked up.


	The rest of the afternoon went like a whirlwind.  By evening, Paul
was still nowhere to be found.  I got re-settled in my own room and talked
stuff over with Dee and Liz while Dave tossed a football with Gary.  Even
at thirteen, Gary was showing signs of being an excellent athlete.  He
thought it was so cool to have a former college football player there and
immediately begged for Dave to show him some cool stuff.  Dave was all too
happy to oblige.  Gary was the way that he got to Dad, because Dad hung out
and watched the two younger guys interact.  Before long, Dad was also
throwing the football and laughing.  I watched out the window and smiled.
Step two, I thought.
	I turned back to Dee and Liz.  Dee was sitting in my desk chair,
Liz was on the bed.  The room was completely unchanged since I left nearly
six years ago.  All my trophies and posters were exactly the same.  "So
what did they do with my room while I was gone?"
	Dee looked around.  "Mom would come in and clean once a week with
the door closed.  Sometimes she would sit in here and I would hear her
crying."
	I sighed.  "Wow."  I looked at Liz and decided to brighten the
mood.  "So what's this I hear about you moving your wedding, kiddo?"
	Liz grinned.  "Well, you know I had originally thought we would get
married at Christmas.  Well, we decided to wait a little longer because of
the problems getting details organized in so short a time.  Then we decided
we needed more time to get used to the idea of marriage, so we put it off
until next year."
	I nodded my head understandingly, then looked at Dee, who rolled
her eyes.  "It was like she would come in every night after going out with
him and we were going, `I wonder how long has she put it off this time'."
	Liz threw a pillow at Deanna.  "I wasn't that bad.  Besides, I
thought we needed the time together without all the hub-bub of the
wedding."
	I smiled.  "Well, I think you made a good choice.  Weddings are
tough enough to plan, but on short notice?  Nightmare."  I sat down and
played around with an old Nerf ball.
	"Speaking of weddings," Dee said, "I want more details about you
and Dave."
	"Yeah," Liz chimed in.  "How did you land such a hot guy?"
	"Get off me," I said, laughing.  "Is it that hard to believe?"
	"Yes," they said at the same time.
	I groaned.  "Come on, was I that hard to live with?"
	"Jamie, you could be totally obnoxious.  Remember the incident with
the kitchen?" Liz remarked.
	"What?" I protested, remembering exactly what she meant.  "You put
all the groceries away in the wrong place!"
	"Excuse me, Mr. Everything Has to be Just So," Liz said.  "Has Dave
borne the brunt of one of your organizational fits yet?"
	I blushed, remembering the day I lectured him on how to arrange the
soup cans.  Dee laughed.  "He has!  I knew it.  The amazing thing is he's
still with you."
	"Is this Gang Up on Jamie Day?" I asked, throwing my hands up in
frustration.


	About an hour later, I was walking with Dave in the back pasture.
It had been a much better afternoon than before.  Mom was really trying to
make an effort with Dave.  She was nicer to him and talked to him, although
she still avoided any mention of our relationship.  I decided to let the
matter go.  Dad and Dave had become fast friends, although Dad still got
really tense when I touched Dave, even if it was a friendly touch on the
back or shoulder.  My siblings were all won over completely, although Dee
and Liz still gave me grief about how I didn't deserve such a wonderful
guy.  Dave ate it up.
	"I'm going to have to soak your head tonight to let down the
swelling," I said as we walked.  It was still warm and we had removed our
shirts.  I enjoyed the feel of Dave's warm, muscular arm around me.
	Dave laughed and squeezed my waist.  "I don't think I get nearly
enough compliments.  I think I might just stay longer here."
	I rolled my eyes.  "Trust me, it's not Disney World.  Just wait
until you need to get in the bathroom in the morning."  Dave laughed.
	I kissed him on the cheek.  "You've been a great sport today."
	Dave smiled at me, then pulled me a little closer.  "Well, your
family is trying.  That makes it a lot easier.  I know we still have some
rough times ahead with your parents, but I think we'll be okay."
	We stood and watched the sun sink lower to the horizon, then
decided to go back.  Mom and Dad were going to barbecue around the pool and
the food was going to be ready soon.  As we walked back, Dave commented
again on the beauty of the landscape.  "This place is really nice.  I
thought we were going to be in some place with trailers and cars on blocks
or something."
	I reached up and pinched his nipple, causing him to yelp.  "Watch
yourself, City Boy.  Kentucky isn't all hillbillies."
	"Well, I'm glad to see it.  And I'm glad to share it with you," he
said as he stopped and turned me around.  He took me in his arms and kissed
me softly on the lips.  "Mmm," he said.  "It's nice kissing you in a
field."
	"So you think it's just the field, huh?" I said as I kissed him
again.
	"Nah," Dave said after another kiss.  "I think you'd be fun to kiss
even in a landfill."
	I looked up, pretending to consider.  "I don't care to test that
one."  Dave laughed then kissed me again, a long, smooth kiss.  We looked
out over the field again and then started to the house.
	A light breeze was blowing from the west, cooling some of the heat
from the sun.  Soon the house was in plain view again, and I noticed
another vehicle in the drive.  As we walked closer, I recognized it.
Paul's truck.  I immediately stiffened, and Dave noticed my tension.  "What
is it?" he whispered.
	I gestured.  "Paul.  That's his truck."
	Dave rubbed my back.  "Stay calm, it'll be fine."  I put my shirt
back on, and Dave did the same.  As we got closer to the truck, I could see
a figure seated in it.  As we got closer, the driver's door opened and Paul
stepped out.  We stopped a few feet away and I smiled nervously.  "Hi
Paul," I said, trying to mask my anxiety by sounding calm and
conversational.
	"James," he answered tonelessly.  Then his brown gaze swept to
Dave.
	"Paul, this is Dave.  Dave, my brother Paul."
	Dave nodded.  "Pleasure to meet you."
	Paul nodded politely, then he looked at me.  It was the same look
he had given me nearly six years ago before I left.  Not revulsion, I
thought.  More hurt and disappointment.  Then he turned and walked into the
house, without another word.
	I looked at the ground as all the emotion descended on me again.
My eyes began to tear up.  Dave walked in front of me and took me into his
arms and gave me a tight hug.  I cried into his shoulder a little, then
regained control.  I wiped my eyes and looked out toward the setting sun.

End of Part XV