Message-ID: <051323Z28101995@anon.penet.fi>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
From: an395341@anon.penet.fi (...Mercury.....)
X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories
Organization: Anonymous forwarding service
Reply-To: an395341@anon.penet.fi
Date: Sat, 28 Oct 1995 05:11:30 UTC
Subject: Jimmy (love, M/M) 1/1
Lines: 258
o
o Oh Wise Master, I wonder who rules Alt.Sex.Stories ?
o Why that is easy, young Grasshopper. It is...
o
o ... M e r c u r y ...
o
o For listen to the Wind. Does it not whisper in your ear,
o "Mercury rulez A.S.S.!" And listen to the babbling brook.
o Does it not babble, "Mercury has the biggest dick of all!"
o You see, Grasshopper. All of Nature is in harmony with
o Mercury, for he is one with the Universe!
o
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
o
o Andre Gide
o
o
o from 'IF IT DIE...'
o
o I must have been about eleven. The scene again took place at
o table, but this time my mother and I were alone. I had been at
o school that morning. What had happened ? Possibly nothing.
o ...Then why did I suddenly break down ? Why did I again
o feel, as I fell convulsively sobbing into mamma's arms, that
o indefinable anguish, the very same exactly that I had felt at
o my little cousin's death ? It was as though some special
o sluice-gate of some unknown, unbounded, mystic sea had suddenly
o been opened and an overwhelming flood poured into my heart. I
o was not so much unhappy as terrified; but how was I to explain
o it to my mother ? All she could distinguish between my sobs
o were, repeated again and again, those blind despairing words;
o "I'm not like other people...not like other people !"
o
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
o
o Notes :
o
o 1. I did not write this story and do not know who did.
o 2. If you're a biW/A m/f 18-24 looking for friends, write.
o 3. Don't write asking me to email you stories. Fuck off.
o
JIMMY
(A Story In The Future)
By John Murrow
Let me tell you about Jimmy. His full name was James
Thurmond Stoddard. He was born March 1st, 1961. We first met on
August 5th 1985. He could always fit into the most outrageous
clothing sizes (at least to me they were outrageous). Size 14
1/2 shirts and size 30 pants. Oh, what I could give to be able
to slide into those sizes! Jimmy was short, though. The inseam
on his pants had to be 27 inches. I guess if I had to really
pick a feature of Jimmy's that was JUST Jimmy, I would have to
pick his hands. They were soft, though very masculine hands,
with long even fingers. A lumberjacks hands, without the
calluses. Big hands with a tender touch. Well, there you have
it. That's all that I can really give you. You had to know
Jimmy to appreciate him.
My name is Tim, and what I'm going to tell you is something
that Jimmy and I have held to ourselves for a long time. You
see, I talk a lot about Jimmy to other people now, but for a long
time we kept our own cousel. Jimmy will always be a big part of
me. He and I were inseperable. Jimmy and I aren't together any
more and that's what makes this story so important to me.
I was a volunteer for a local AIDS organization here in my
home town. Jimmy was a volunteer, too. We were as different as
night and day. He was short and slender. I was tall and fat.
He was able to wear just about anything and look good in it. I
had to pick and choose from the BIG MAN'S departments and be
extremely careful about what I chose. The wrong type of stripe
and I looked like a big balloon. If I was careful, I only looked
like a small balloon. Jimmy had blond hair, while mine was dark
brown. He could wear shoes without socks. When I did, the shoes
always stuck to my feet. He rarely perspired. I had to carry a
towel. He looked good with a beard. I looked like something the
cat drug in. Jimmy was young and vibrant, I was over forty.
Yes, we were different. Jimmy had this thing, though. He liked
older, overweight guys.
We met one Saturday evening after he had moved to California
from Idaho. I was minding my own business, cruising, when I
heard this voice beside me saying something. I turned and there
was Jimmy. He was standing next to me, looking up, asking me how
the weather was up where I was. His smile was so captivating
that I forgot my usual response. It would have been a tacky
remark, anyway. I looked down and informed him that the weather
up here was just fine. He looked at me for a moment, then turned
and walked away. I figured that he had gotten enough of a look
and I was not what he was expecting and turned my attention back
to the bartender. He was new to the bar and quite a good-looking
man. I had seen the type that he went for. I didn't stand a
chance, but looking never hurt anyone.
A few seconds later I felt a tug at my elbow. Turning, a
drink was thrust into my hand. Jimmy was there explaining that
high altitudes tend to dry some people out and that I should be
more careful about dehydration. The look in his eyes told me he
was serious. The smile on his face told me he was a playful sort
of person. I couldn't help myself. Normally the serious type, I
broke out in a grin from ear to ear. Jimmy promptly told me that
that expression was a thousand percent better. Then he blew me a
kiss. I have had this type of thing happen to me before and was
a little wary. I have been led on by others before, only to
finally realize that I was being put on.
I opened my mouth to say something When he reached up and
placed a finger at my lips and told me to be quiet. Dumbfounded,
I just stared at him with a puzzled expression. He stood next to
me for a few minutes, just looking at me, then pulled himself up
and whispered in my ear that he'd see me next week and that I was
not to change a thing. Before I could open my mouth he was gone
out the door. I just sat there, holding this drink in my hand,
staring at the door. I wondered what had hit me! That little
guy had nerve!
All that next week I couldn't get my mind off of him. Every
time I went out I wondered if I would meet up with him. On
Saturday night I was scheduled to work a volunteer shift staffing
the phones. I was eager to get it over with so I could get to
the bar to see if he showed up. I didn't hold out much hope, and
if he didn't show, I might meet someone else. I went to the
office to start my shift and when I entered, Janet, our coordina
tor, took me aside and told me of this young man in her office
that was starting his volunteer work that evening. She asked if
I would help him get acquainted with the procedures. She also
asked that I go easy with him because he had been there all day
for the past three days, training. I assured her that I would be
gentle and for her to bring in the convicted party.
Janet returned to her office and brought him out to meet me.
I stood there with a look of shock on my face. He stood across
the room and scrutinized me. Janet started to get a little
uncertain, then he smiled and told me that I had changed. I
looked puzzled and he further explained that I had changed to a
different shirt. Then he shook his finger comically at me and
said that he had asked me not to change a thing last Saturday.
Looking down at my shirt, I broke out in laughter. Janet just
shook her head and left the room.
He bounced over to me and introduced himself. He apologized
of leaving as he did last Saturday night, but he had to go to
work. He was a nurse and his shift started at midnight. He had
stopped in at the bar to see a friend who worked there and was
leaving when he saw me sitting at the bar. He had run back to
his friend to inquire about me.
I enjoyed talking with Jimmy, but business is business. We
had phones to answer. In between phones we chatted like
schoolgirls. I found out a lot about Jimmy that night. We were
having so much fun just talking, that time went swiftly. Before
we knew it, our shift had ended. I would be working with him for
several more days and then he would be assigned another shift.
One that fit in better with his work schedule.
One of the topics that we discussed between ourselves and our
telephone clients, was SAFE-SEX procedures. We were always
talking about it to clients and it was only natural that we
talked to each other about it. Jimmy seemed to be genuinely
interested in what I had to say, and was always attentive.
During the course of the next few days Jimmy and I became fast
friends. In time Jimmy was assigned to another shift that was
more compatible with his regular job and we no longer worked
together.
Though we were not working together, we did continue to see
each other on a regular basis. I was really starting to fall for
the little guy. Out of the blue, one evening while we were
watching a favorite television show (a Maude rerun), Jimmy
reached over and took my hand in his. He pulled me closer to him
and looked up at me.
"Tim, we have to talk. Before you say anything, I want you
to know that in no way do I want to hurt you." I started to say
something and like that night in the bar, he reached over and
touched his fingertip to my lips. "Quiet, now. Let me finish
what I'm gonna' say before I chicken out." He repositioned
himself in front of me and sat down on the floor between my legs
and looking up, his blue eyes sparkling, "I love you, Tim, but I
must tell you that I am HIV positive. I've been evading any
commitments because of that." I saw tears begin to well up in
his eyes as he went on. "I know that you're a volunteer with the
Project and you deal with HIV positive people all the time, but I
don't know what your feelings would be if one of them told you
how they felt about you."
My heart had been beating real fast while he was talking to
me, and I saw his finger move towards my lips as I began to
speak. I stopped it in midair and instead placed my finger over
his lips. "Time now for you to listen, Jimmy." His eyes shot
down to gaze at the carpet. "I have been in love with you for
some time now. The fact that you're HIV positive makes little
difference. I've seen what you are doing for yourself and I've
wondered for a long time, just what you are doing when you leave
the room for a few minutes, only to come back with a soda or cof
fee or something for me. You always brought back milk or water
for yourself. You've answered that question for me, tonight.
You always felt it necessary to leave the room when you had to
take your AZT. Jimmy, from what I've seen these past months,
you're a survivor. Your health is good, your heart is good.
I've watched you help others overcome their fears about death and
dying. How can I help but love you. If you're wondering what I
feel about having a relationship with someone who is HIV+, all I
can say is that it makes no difference. I love you for who you
are, not what you have."
"But Tim, I may not have all that long." he almost shouted,
tears now really starting to flow down his cheeks. "I don't know
when something will just reach out and snatch me away. I don't
want to start a relationship with someone I love very deeply,
just to leave it when things are going real great."
I pulled out my handkerchief and staunched the flow of tears.
Then I pulled him up on my lap and held him. I could feel his
body wrenching in sobs. I held him tight. "Jimmy, dear, please
believe me when I say that it makes no difference to me. Dear
God, it makes no difference! You're HIV+. So what! Did it
make any difference when we went out and just had a lot of fun
together? Did it make a difference when we went to the movies,
the theatre? Did it make a difference in how you smiled at those
children playing in the park? You are living your life to the
fullest. More now than at any time in your life. Jimmy....I
want to be a part of that life. I want to share each precious
moment with you."
"Do you really mean that, Tim?"
"Yes, I do, love. More than anything else. I want to bring
you happiness and through your happiness, I'll be happy, and
content. Your life is very important to me, Jimmy. More
important than you can ever know." He leaned his face into my
shoulder and I felt his body relax. He was still shaking and the
tears had started again. I could feel the tension that had
possessed him start to leave as he cried. "Let it out, Jimmy,
let it all out. You'll never have to worry about how I feel,
ever."
That was ten years ago. Jimmy never came down with full
blown AIDS.
Last month, Jimmy and I were planning to attend a conference
on the effects of a new drug that is about to be introduced, that
would stop the virus dead in its tracks, when as an afterthought
Jimmy had stopped at the drug store to pick up something
insignificant. Jimmy was in the back of the store talking to a
clerk when a man walked around a display case and without warning
shot them both. They told me that Jimmy never knew what
happened.
God never said that we will all live forever. Sometimes God
makes it a little more difficult for some of us. Jimmy was one
of God's children. He lived for many years with the threat of
AIDS, only to have his life end in a drug store by an unregister
ed gun. I thank God for the time that Jimmy and I had together.
Times that were not easy, but not all that hard, either. We saw
many of our friends called home. With each one, our love grew
stronger and deeper. Our commitment to each other was one of
love, and that love was truly blessed by God.
To those of you, out there, I have only one thing to say.
When God sends you a gift, accept it and keep it precious, for
God may never give you another. And if God does send another,
you will then know what to do with it.
IN LOVING MEMORY
James Thurmond Stoddard
Age 34
Called home on February 28th, 1995
--****ATTENTION****--****ATTENTION****--****ATTENTION****--***ATTENTION***
Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be *automatically* ANONYMIZED.
Please, report inappropriate use to abuse@anon.penet.fi
For information (incl. non-anon reply) write to help@anon.penet.fi
If you have any problems, address them to admin@anon.penet.fi