Date: Fri, 18 Sep 2015 07:46:46 -0500
From: Jack Schaeffer <jack.schaeffman@gmail.com>
Subject: Light in the Window - Chapter 5

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THE LIGHT IN THE WINDOW
By Jack Schaeffer and Mark C.

Copyright © 2015 by Jack Schaeffer & Mark C. All rights reserved

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at
home. ~ Author Unknown


Chapter 5 – The Journey Home

The morning sun beat down with blazing heat, but thankfully the thick
forest around them shielded the two men and their animals from its direct
rays. The buzzing sounds of insects and the melodies of singing birds
filled the air around them, along with the rhythmic clopping of iron
horseshoes upon the rocky terrain and the creaking wagon wheels turning
upon the axles.

Edward allowed the wagon to roll slightly ahead of him, instead of his
usual parallel position, as it gave him time alone to sort out his
thoughts, which were considerable. He had awakened at an early hour, the
sun barely throwing a hint of light through the bedroom window. He was
shocked to find himself naked - and in bed with another man. As quiet as a
church mouse, he had dressed, hoping to escape before Charles
awakened. Edward shifted in his saddle as he felt the now familiar
tightness in his breeches as he remembered once again the naked male form
of his travelling companion lying in the bed he had just vacated, still
resting in peaceful slumber, a smile of his face and a hardness to his
organ, which was unashamedly on display before him.

Edward was frustrated. Why did the sight of a naked man, innocently
sleeping, suddenly excite him so powerfully? Perhaps more powerfully than
the fading memories of his late wife's tender breasts or the soft curve of
her thigh, though he couldn't be sure. Edward trembled as he remembered
washing Charles' backside, there in the moonlight filled room at the
inn. The feel of Charles' skin - and other things - against his
fingertips. The kisses, at first tentative, then exploding in unbridled
passion. Things he'd never dreamed of.

That men found comfort in the arms of other men was an uncommon fact not
unknown to Edward, however it was not something he ever expected to
experience himself. He didn't know how he should feel about it,
either. Shame? Guilt? Relief?

It had been nearly four years since he had last been in the arms of his
wife and lover, since he had watched the life light fade from her eyes as
the sickness took her, just as it had stolen his little girl and his
parents before her. Adeline had been his one and only lover, the single
person with whom he had experienced the particular pleasures of human
physical love. He had never felt the need or desire to look upon another
woman in the same way, though perhaps one or two in the county had made
clear their designs upon him. He had politely steered clear of all such
entanglements.

He had never felt the stirrings of lust for another man. Not even when he
and Jimmy McNally and Martin O'Toole had gotten drunk at the local pub
after a long day working in the fields, and together had answered the
challenge of some other lads to a wrestling match. Outside, with a small
crowd gathering, water troughs were spilled to create a large patch of mud,
as six strong strapping men stripped fully naked to cheers and jeers, and
commenced rolling around in the miry mess, more intent on coating one
another with mud in raucous laughter than seeking any particular victory.

Later, as they had taken turns at the well drawing buckets of ice cold
water to pour over their heads, there was much good natured banter and
teasing, but nothing of an overtly sexual nature to speak of. Yet now,
Edward suddenly looked back upon that memory and again felt stirring in his
loins as the images of muscled chests dripping with water, sinewy thighs
stretched taut as strong arms pulled on the well's rope, and the chiseled
naked arses of his friends filled his mind.

To Edward, it felt like something had come alive in him, a deep desire
heretofore unknown and unpursued. Now, as he was tasting his first days of
real freedom in this new world, this strange new desire was suddenly
demanding its freedom, too. He had no idea what to do with it.

Up with the wagon, Charles was riding on the side board, sorting through
his own collection of concerns, chief among them the fact Edward had not
said but two words to him all morning. He had declined joining Charles for
a hot breakfast in the tavern with a shake of his head, and immediately set
out to reassemble the team and the wagon. When Charles had arrived at the
stable carrying his personal case - Edward had taken his with him - he
found everything ready and an impatient Edward eager to start.

He assumed Edward had settled payment with the stable keeper, as they were
shaking hands as he approached. Edward tipped his hat to the man and
mounted his horse, pushing his long black hair back over his head before
hiding it under his hat again. Charles remembered running his hands through
that glorious mane the night before and felt his heart quicken a
little. Edward nodded to him, an expression on his face which Charles
couldn't read.

Shaking his head, Charles grabbed the reins and with a crack of the whip
over their heads, all six horses leaned into their yokes and they were off,
bound for points west. As they pulled away from the stable area, Charles
noticed a young lad carrying a bucket of water toward a horse trough in one
hand while rubbing his arse with the other. Curious.

As one mile rolled into the next one, Charles contented himself to let
Edward have his space, though he missed their friendly conversations. His
father had taught him years ago to let a man be with his thoughts, and to
not badger him with a thousand questions. For his part, Charles' thoughts
were spent pleasantly remembering the last evening's explorations and
discoveries. Edward had shocked him by being a willing participant, but
now, in the full light of day, Charles was beginning to have doubts he
would ever likely do so again. He sincerely hoped Edward was not so put off
by the experience that he decided to abandon their journey together.

For the next hour, Edward struggled inwardly with his thoughts. Ever since
he had first sat down to dinner with Charles, he liked the man. He felt
like a real friend, and he was sorely in need of one. Aside from Charles,
and John Wilkins back in Philadelphia, Edward was for all intents and
purposes alone in the world. But now...after what they had shared
together...what did it mean for their friendship? Everything felt different
somehow. How was he supposed to act?

When no clarity came to his mental turmoils, Edward finally gave them up in
favor of practical realities. He was getting hungry, having skipped
breakfast to avoid facing Charles first thing in the morning. As long as
they were going to travel together, they might as well share a meal, even
if he wasn't sure he'd ever want to share a bed again.

"I see a place up ahead where we can pull off and have lunch," said Edward,
riding his horse up to the wagon and pointing out the grassy area to
Charles, who was driving the team.

"Fine with me, getting powerful hungry here," said Charles, relieved Edward
was talking to him again. The tension drained from his arms and shoulders
as he let out a deep sigh.

"Makes two of us. I think we have a wee bit of biscuit left, though it may
be getting rather hard and stale. Brings back memories of the sea journey
from Ireland, choking down the hardtack." Edward had a wry grin on his
face, recalling one of the less savory details of his sea voyage.

Charles pulled the team and wagon off the trail onto the grassy area Edward
had pointed out. A small, crystal clear stream trickled playfully over its
rocky bottom nearby. The two made short work of watering the team, days of
repetitively working together paying off. Edward pulled out the cotton sack
holding their provisions obtained in Harrisburg and reached in and plucked
out a couple of brown biscuits. Handing one to Charles, he remarked
ruefully, "At least it fills your stomach."

"If I can choke it down my throat, that is," said Charles, looking askance
at the solid brown lump in his hand. A nice hot stew would have been
preferable by far.

At that moment, a slight rustling in the green woods across the trail
nearby drew their attention and a second later a small black bear cub
appeared, sniffing the air around him.

Edward, never having been around American wildlife - he'd only lived in the
city - was enchanted with the small creature and automatically began to
walk towards it, interested in seeing it up close and curious about it.

"Edward, NO! Get back, the mother will be somewhere nearby!" shouted
Charles.

Edward stopped in his tracks, heeding Charles' shouted warning, but the
cub, spotting Edward's movements, was now very interested in the human, and
began to amble towards Edward and the wagon behind him. Fortunately, the
cub was downwind of the wagon, so the horses had not yet caught the bear's
scent.

As Edward carefully made a slow retreat backwards, suddenly a loud, low
growl came from the woods near the exact spot the cub had emerged. Both men
and horses pricked up their ears in alarm. A fully grown female bear burst
upon the trail, and thinking her cub was threatened, stood up on her hind
legs and raised huge paws adorned with sharp claws and roared at the two
men. At over seven feet tall, the bared teeth and menacing roar brought the
cub to an immediate halt. It turned around and quickly hobbled to its
mother, head down in subjection.

Edward was trying valiantly to make his bladder hold. The fearsome beast
was amazing and terrifying at the same time, and try as he might, he
couldn't move. His legs refused to obey his mind's command to run. Charles,
in the meantime, had whirled around and grabbed his longrifle from the
wagon and started shouting at Edward.

"Grab the reins and try to calm the horses!" Edward, the shout bringing him
out of his paralysis, ran towards the wagon, passing Charles who by this
time was advancing on the adult bear. He began shouting at the top of his
voice and wildly waving the longrifle in front of him, hoping to scare off
the bear. He knew enough to make himself as formidable an opponent as
possible and the odds were good the bear might be warned off. Edward was
firmly holding the bridle of the lead horse, barely keeping the team from
rearing and running off. His own horse, having been allowed to pasture in
the meadow, was nowhere to be seen.

He looked back at Charles and his heart leapt into his throat. Charles was
in a standoff with a roaring adult black bear, mouth wide open to expose
yellow teeth designed to tear flesh, and he knew if the bear charged,
Charles did not stand much of a chance. He would be mauled for sure,
perhaps fatally.

The intense pain of possibly losing his friend Charles in a bear attack
shocked Edward, taking his breath away. He suddenly wanted to drop the
reins and run out in front of Charles and sacrifice himself. Charles didn't
deserve to die such a horrible death for his own stupidity.

The cub finally reached the edge of the trail, spurred on by its mother's
mighty roars, then plunged into the safety of the green wall of trees
behind her. Sensing this, the adult bear began slowly backing up, wanting
to turn and go after her cub but needing to ensure the threat to her young
one did not get any nearer. Charles wisely did not move forward but kept up
his shouting and waving his rifle, encouraging the bear to turn around and
make sure her cub was fine. Reaching the edge of the trail, and with one
last loud warning growl, the black behemoth turned her back on Charles and
lumbered off after the cub, presumably to give it a parental dressing down.

Charles, shaking with the after effects of the adrenaline coursing through
his body, dropped his rifle. His knees wobbled while his stomach did queasy
somersaults. Kneeling down to try and steady himself, he breathed in deeply
several times, trying to get air into his lungs and to clear his mind of
crisis-caused tunnel vision.

No longer concerned about horses or wagons or even bears, Edward dropped
the leather reins where he stood and ran. He ran as hard and as fast as he
could to Charles, his feet slipping on the damp tall grass in the meadow,
and succeeded in knocking Charles over as he slid into him. Without
hesitation, Edward was on top of him, looking down at his friend, sudden
tears in his eyes.

"Are you alright, Charles?" he shouted, grabbing the man's face in both
hands.

Charles, suffering from the new shock of Edward straddling his waist, tried
to nod his head, to which Edward had a tight grip. "Aye. Mother of God, did
you see that beast, Edward? I'd rather face a line of British regulars than
stand up to her again. She was so close I could smell her fetid breath."

"What you did was extremely brave, Charles. But don't you ever do something
like that again! You could have been killed!" Edward was shouting at him,
and then started shaking uncontrollably, overwhelmed by emotions he
couldn't name if he tried. Charles reached up and hugged him tightly,
pulling him down to his chest. Edward started to resist the embrace, but
then gave into it, strange as it still seemed to be held in such a manner
by another man. Charles held on to him until his shaking subsided and both
men were finally breathing normally again.

Charles released his tight hold around Edward, and Edward slowly pushed off
of him, a bewildered look on his face. He rolled over onto his back in the
grass and looked up at the blue sky, lost in thought. Rising on now
steadier legs, Charles helped an almost reluctant Edward to his feet as
well. His face was impossible to read. Clearly Edward was a conflicted man,
but at least he had shown no hesitation in revealing the fact that he truly
cared for Charles, which gave Charles real hope.

Edward looked deeply into Charles' eyes, as if searching for answers he
couldn't find within himself. "Why did you do it? Charge an attacking
bear?" said Edward softly.

"I didn't think about it, Edward. I just knew you were in terrible danger
and the next thing I remember, I was confronting the beast. All I could
remember was wanting you and the team to be fine. I need you to be safe,
Edward." Edward started to reply, but no words would connect to make sense
of his jumbled thoughts at the moments. He settled for nodding to Charles.

They started walking together back toward the wagon. Deciding to make light
of the conflicting emotions coursing through his body, Edward quipped, "You
would do anything not to have to choke down those hard biscuits." Charles
laughed loudly, the tension fading fast.

"Well...at this point I don't think it wise to put anything in my stomach
for the moment. I'd surely lose it the second it was swallowed," said
Charles.

"Speaking of losing things...I appear to have lost my horse," said Edward,
running his hands through his long hair while turning in circles looking
into the forest for his missing animal.

"He won't have gone far, I don't reckon," said Charles. "We can make camp
here for now and look for him."

"I'd hate to slow you up, Charles. You go on ahead without me, and I'll
search for him," said Edward.

"Are you crazy? You think I'd leave you alone in these woods, without food
or horse or gun? Get over it, Edward. No way I'm leaving you. Besides, I
already told you, I'm not losing you without a fight. If I'm willing to
fight a black bear, I'm willing to fight you."

"Fight me? What are you talking about? Fight what?" said Edward.

"This. You're pushing me away again, just like you did this morning. Using
it as an opportunity to separate from me because you're uncomfortable with
what happened last night. I understand, Edward. I know it's hard to figure
out. It's strange and different, and you don't know what to think. I get
it, I've been there."

"You don't know what I think!" shouted Edward, disturbing the birds in the
trees nearby. "I don't even know what I think, so how could you?" He was
angry and beyond frustrated with the whole situation. His fists were
clenching and unclenching. "I didn't ask for this, Charles. You're the one
who seduced me. You've confused me."

Deciding it was time, Charles softened his voice and said, "Edward. Please
calm down and just listen to me, okay?" Edward did manage to relax his
stance and unclench his fists. He nodded to Charles to continue. "You're
right, of course. I did seduce you, in a manner of speaking. I took
advantage of an innocent situation, my own desire perhaps overwhelming my
better sensibilities. I'm sorry, Edward, if I've hurt you in any way. You
have to believe that was not my intention."

"I am a man who loves other men. What we did last night was what I
wanted. It's what I've wanted since you first sat down to dinner with me in
Lancaster. But Edward...are you sure you don't want it, too?" said Charles
gently.

Edward looked at Charles, trying desperately to understand his own feelings
in light of what his friend was telling him. If he were honest with
himself, he had to admit he had shared Charles' desires. Why else would he
have dropped his own breeches, fully hoping Charles would touch him the way
he had touched Charles?

"Charles...I...I'm not sure. Maybe I...do want...what you want. But it's
all so strange and foreign to me. I've never done...what we did...ever."

"I know," said Charles. "Edward, I don't want you to want it, just because
I do. I meant what I said. I don't want to lose you. You've become a very
good friend, and I'm telling you the truth. Whether or not we become
lovers, I still want you to come to Ohio with me. I need you, Edward."

Full of warring emotions, Edward could only nod his head, indicating he had
heard Charles. What he needed at the moment was to get away by himself with
his thoughts, but first he had to find his horse. "I'm going to look for
the horse. I'll...be back...I guess." He put his hat back on his head and
turned in the direction his horse had run away, setting off on foot to find
it.

Charles, looking ruefully at Edward's retreating back, had been full of
hope for a future with Edward as his friend and lover, but he was now
painfully aware it may not come to pass. The horse would not have galloped
too far once out of sight and sound of the bear, so he figured most likely
Edward would not be gone long. He considered unhitching one of the team and
riding after him, but held off, giving Edward time to be alone with his
thoughts.

As Edward walked away slowly, following the wagon trail, he thought about
his feelings for Charles. There was no denying he'd been scared when
Charles was almost attacked by the bear. And the overwhelming relief when
he wasn't was telling, too. His growing emotional attachment to the man
already surpassed any relationship he had ever had with anyone other than
his wife.

And then there was the surprising and confusing physical attraction. He
didn't understand why it was happening now, when he had never felt sexual
desire for another man before...well, ever since he saw the young lad from
the coach in the stables, spread out over the hay bales, the look of
pleasure on his face unmistakable. And again when he witnessed the
strapping of the second stable boy and his obvious excitement at the end of
the ordeal. Just thinking about those images again caused a swelling in his
loins as he walked.

While he may want to blame Charles for what had transpired between them the
previous evening, he couldn't lie to himself. He'd wanted it, too, pure and
simple. And he still did. Just thinking about Charles' naked backside again
was causing him to breathe heavy and feel light headed. What was he to do
about it?

Edward rounded a bend in the trail, and there was his errant horse, grazing
on the grass at the edge of the packed dirt and rocks marking the wagon
trail. When Edward whistled, the horse reared its head and cantered toward
him. "Good boy," said Edward to the steed as he pulled himself up into the
saddle on its back and trotted back towards Charles.

While waiting for Edward, Charles finished preparing their interrupted
lunch. He set out some yellow cheese, the remaining biscuits, and the last
of some ginger cake, containing actual pieces of the ginger root. Charles
looked at the brown hardtack and grimaced. How Edward survived on that
stuff while sailing across the ocean was a mystery.

He looked up from his meal preparations to see a focused Edward returning,
trotting up on his horse. Charles watched him dismount, the stretch of his
breeches against his legs outlining the strong muscles Charles knew were
lurking there, waiting to be caressed again. He sighed, the agony of pent
up desire too much to contemplate.

Edward had a clouded countenance, his face betraying his ongoing inner
struggle to reconcile his conflicting thoughts and desires. He walked
straight up to Charles and removed his hat, pushing his hair back again, a
move Charles found particularly appealing every time he did it. For a
second there, Charles wondered if Edward did it precisely because he knew
it excited him. Shaking his head slightly at the unprofitable thought,
Charles waited.

"I've been doing a wee bit of thinking," said Edward hesitantly. He took a
deep breath and continued. "I believe I was unfair earlier when I accused
you of...seducing me. I won't deny it was something I wanted to happen,
too, though I'm damned if I know why. I feel things...with you...that
are...difficult. I don't know if I will ever act on them again. But above
all, I want you to know, Charles, that I value our friendship highly, and I
hope you will see your way clear to having me continue on with you, at
least until Pittsburgh."

"Of course," said Charles without hesitation. "I'd like nothing
better. Just know I intend to do my level best to convince you to come all
the way to Ohio with me. I could use a good man like you by my side."

Edward frowned at the characterization. "I'm sorry," said Charles
quickly. "I said it badly. What I mean is...well, the thing is, I...it's
just that, having you with me...I mean, well...working with me...Ugh! It
would just be easier...and I like you, and I want you around, so I just
thought..." Charles voice trailed off in, incapable of finishing the
thought. Edward's frown just grew deeper, causing Charles to despair of
offending him yet again.

Suddenly, Edward broke into a wide grin, then an open
smile. "Charles...shut up and feed me." Charles gasped, then realized
Edward was teasing him, pretending to be upset. The rotten scoundrel!

The tension of the bear attack and its aftermath disappeared as they
enjoyed a leisurely lunch. Even the almost inedible biscuits went down
easier now that the two men had returned to their familiar and comfortable
camaraderie. Charles refrained from broaching any sensitive subject - and
noticed Edward did the same - as they finished cleaning up and repacking
the wagon. Then they took up their normal traveling positions and set off
towards Pittsburgh once again.

In Shippensburg, they stabled the horses and shared a hot meal in
Sullivan's Saloon, the raucous clientele a distraction to Charles and
Edward, who were fast discovering they preferred the solitude of the forest
to the boisterous tavern crowd. They slept in separate rooms - they didn't
discuss it. Charles followed Edward's lead, allowing him to make the
sleeping arrangements, though not without intense disappointment.

They passed through Chambersburg the following evening and kept moving,
deciding to camp out under the stars near the trail. As the fire began to
die down after dinner, Edward unrolled a couple of blankets near the
burning embers, not bothering to change into a nightshirt, but simply
removed the clothing from his torso, leaving his breeches on. As he laid
down, Charles approached with his own blankets.

He looked down at Edward, an unspoken question on his face. Edward looked
at the flat space next to his blankets and nodded to Charles, giving him
unspoken permission to sleep next to him. Charles thought about stripping
naked in the dwindling light - it was a rather warm evening - but decided
not to. He had a difficult time getting to sleep, the hardness between his
legs a constant distraction. He didn't know it, but Edward suffered a
similar condition, and both men awakened the following morning tired and
irritable.

The next ten days passed by in a monotonous blur of mile after mile of pine
forest, the occasional small animal crossing the trail here and there, and
the feeding and watering of the horses. The wagon's axle needed to be
greased more often now as they went up and down mountains, the stress and
strain of the terrain taking its toll on the Conestoga. The horses never
seemed to mind what they were asked to do.

They restocked food provisions at Fort Loudon, opting to stay in Gonagle's
Inn for the night. The tavern keeper, an Irish immigrant himself, was
familiar enough with the county where Edward's family had lived, and the
two stayed up half the night reminiscing. Charles listened for a while,
then excused himself to find his room. The unfamiliar pangs of jealousy
were a bitter pill to swallow as he tried to drift off in the lonely, quiet
room. He could no longer deny it to himself - he was in love with
Edward. What Edward may have felt for him, beyond a strong friendship, was
not clear.

Somewhere between Fort Bedford and Fort Ligonier, Charles used his
longrifle and shot two squirrels as the wagon slowly plodded through the
forest. He showed Edward how to skin the animals and butcher the
carcasses. As Edward held the meat over the open fire on sticks he had
fashioned for the purpose, he could not help but admire Charles and the
confidence he obviously possessed. His new friend was a crack shot, and his
years of campaigning in the army had honed his survival skills to a fine
edge. He was a strong and capable man.

When Edward wasn't conversing with Charles about any number of subjects,
the most prevalent being those related to farming, he was thinking about
him. To Edward, Charles seemed like the kind of man who would likely be a
success at anything he put his hand to, not because he was the smartest or
the best, but because he was quietly determined to succeed, and would never
quit fighting for what he wanted and believed in.

And it was abundantly evident he wanted Edward. There was no mistaking the
looks, or the small touches here and there as they worked side by side. At
times Edward could almost feel the physical desire pinging off of him, at
the same time he was trying desperately to keep his own mounting desires at
bay. He was grateful Charles had never pushed the issue, not since the
morning of the bear attack. Giving Edward the time he needed to contemplate
his future, one possibly spent in the arms of another man, was the wisest
thing Charles could have done.

In the height of the blazing afternoon heat, when they were but a day past
Fort Ligonier, the last stop before Pittsburgh, the wagon crested a small
hill, revealing a rolling green valley with a small river running through
it. The water reflected the sunlight through the trees here and there. At
the bottom of the valley, Edward spotted a wide basin of still water in the
stream, apparently caused by a downed tree creating a bit of a dam effect
upstream of it. He was hot and dirty and wanted a bath badly.

He shifted in his saddle and turned to Charles, pointing to the perfect
shady spot for a relaxing dip in the afternoon heat. "Care to wash away the
dirt and have a swim? This heat is killing me," he said.

Charles, seeing the cool pool of water in the distance, nodded
vigorously. "Aye, I'd welcome the chance to cool off myself. Lead on."

Pulling the wagon to a stop next to the stream, Edward and Charles first
unhitched the team of horses and brought them water in the trough. They
then tied them together loosely and allowed them the freedom to graze in
the meadow on the other side of the rocky wagon trail, tails swishing
happily in the heat.

A large flat rock stuck out into the stream near the wagon, and Edward was
standing on it, his shirts, boots, and socks already removed. Charles stood
back by the wagon for a minute and just watched him, his muscular body
outlined in the sunlight. He held his breath as Edward unfastened his
breeches, his back to Charles, and slowly let them fall to the rock. His
naked arse was everything Charles remembered from the one night they had
shared together, and from his many fantasies privately contemplated on the
trail since.

Edward gingerly stepped into the stream and took two tentative steps toward
the makeshift swimming hole, the waters swirling gently around his
knees. He twisted sideways to call out to Charles.

"Come on in, the water's perfect."

Charles wasted no time getting to the rock. As he pulled his overshirt
above his head, he noticed Edward was watching him intently, now facing him
waist deep in the water about fifteen feet away. Charles paused, suddenly
not sure if he should continue. Edward nodded to let him know it was
okay. Charles slowly removed his clothes, until only his breeches
remained. His hands trembled as he tried to unfasten them, knowing the
second they were off, Edward would fully know the extent of his excitement.

Taking a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Edward's, he allowed his
breeches to drop to his ankles. He instantly felt the sun's heat upon his
engorged private parts, as well as Edward's gaze. He watched as Edward
looked upon him for a moment, then slowly returned to look at his face
again. Then Edward smiled, taking slow steps along the rocky river bottom
toward Charles.

As he approached, his own body rose out of the water, and it was now clear
that despite the coolness of the river, Edward, too, was equally
excited. Finally standing in front of Charles, naked, hard and unashamed,
he reached up with his hand, inviting Charles to join him in the river.

Nothing was conveyed directly in words or sounds, but when their hands
touched, a deeper connection was established than either would comprehend
for a long time to come. They spent the next hour or so frolicking in the
refreshing water, swimming and laughing and relaxing, silently
acknowledging the physical attraction between them, an attraction which
only paralleled that of their hearts and minds.

There was a moment, as Charles stood chest deep in the river with his back
to Edward, looking out over the valley around them in wonder, when Edward
knew. It came without warning, a stunning revelation which ended all doubts
and confusions. It startled him with its impact, and he gasped suddenly,
causing Charles to turn in alarm.

"Are you okay?" said Charles, taking a step toward Edward.

Edward nodded, then held up a hand for Charles to stop moving. He did, not
sure what was happening. Edward had a look on his face like he was going to
bolt and run away again.

"Edward..." Charles started to speak, but Edward again held up his hand for
him to wait.

"I'm fine," said Edward. "More than fine, really. I'm happy. I'm happy,
Charles, for the first time in a very, very long time. And I owe that to
you, my friend." He stopped, as he could feel tears welling in his eyes,
and a lump rising in his throat as the emotions started rolling through
him. He swallowed hard and pressed on.

"The truth is...I love you, Charles. I don't know what all that
means...yet...but I know this without a doubt. I want to be with
you. In...every way. In every way a man can be with a man. I'll have to
trust you in that. But I do...trust you, I mean. I'm sorry for being
distant and moody and...difficult. I appreciate you giving me the space and
time to figure myself out. And I believe I have," he said, now taking a
step toward a very shocked Charles.

"I don't understand everything that has happened. I don't know what happens
next, or what I'm supposed to do. But I know this," he said, now standing
face to face with Charles, who had stopped breathing altogether. "I know
that I love you, Charles Adams. And I want to spend the rest of my life
with you."

Without further preamble, Edward reached up with his right hand and placed
it upon Charles' cheek, his thumb wiping away the single tear that had
fallen.

Then Edward kissed him. Softly at first, their lips but whispers, one
against the other. Edward raised his other hand, holding Charles' face
gently, and continued kissing him, until lips parted and tongues invaded,
and the heat of the afternoon sun was matched, and then exceeded, by the
heat of their unleashed passion together.

Much later, exhausted and deeply contented, both men lay naked upon the
rock beside the stream, looking up into the fading sky, dreaming of their
future together. A future now filled with hope, joy, and the never failing
power of true love.



Epilogue – Ohio Territory

"That's it for me today. I'm wiped out," said Edward, brushing his soaking
wet hair backwards over his head, then covering it all again with his
equally wet hat.

"Aye," said Charles. "That's the lot of `em. Come spring, we should be able
to stump these last twenty or so and have double the acreage for planting."
He stood up from his task of cutting the bark from the large buckeye tree,
the wide naked band around the trunk now showing in stark contrast to the
rest of the tall tree.

By "banding" the trees - thus making them die - he and Edward had slowly
created and cleared enough farmland from the forest to start planting crops
in earnest the following spring. They might even be able to turn a profit
next year, as the livestock had increased as well, with Edward's excellent
husbandry skills.

The two strong men gathered their tools and set off across the valley
floor, now half denuded of trees, the other half cleared of all but the
remaining trees too hardened to fell by axe alone. Each tree stood
forlornly in the dim evening light, a wide, white ring around its waist,
the beginning of its final days.

In the cabin, Charles stoked the still burning embers in the fireplace, and
soon had a roaring blaze burning, while Edward set about lighting candles
around the main room. They smiled at each other as only lovers do in the
flickering light.

"Let's have venison tonight," suggested Edward. He was especially fond of
deer meat, and Charles had dropped an 8-point buck, with one shot, two days
prior. At the moment the partially eaten carcass was hanging from a wooden
tripod out behind the cabin. What they didn't eat tonight would have to be
preserved with rock salt tomorrow.

Charles nodded, grabbing his light coat to ward off the chilly late October
air, and his long filleting knife. He had thought it a luxury when Edward
had proposed the purchase on their last trip up the Ohio to Pittsburgh for
supplies. But in so many ways, Edward's experience and knowledge about such
things had been proven indispensable in the harsh realities of frontier
life. He was grateful Edward had insisted, as he had used it more than he
thought he ever would the past few months.

It was a life that far exceeded his expectations. To be on his own land, to
face the challenge of establishing a farm from nothing, to succeed or fail
by his own determination and strength - all of it was more than he had
imagined. More difficult, more fraught with peril, more gratifying,
just...more.

He selected a couple of cuts of meat he knew Edward would enjoy. Edward,
the most amazing man he'd ever met, and the primary reason for the joy that
filled his soul these days. Always smiling, always positive, always ready
to tackle whatever task faced them next, of which there was no shortage out
here on the frontier.

Turning back to the house, he saw Edward standing out on the back porch
under the roof overhang, just watching him. And smiling.

"What?" asked Charles.

"Nothing," said Edward. "Just watching you." He grinned, his eyes twinkling
in the fading light of approaching dusk.

"I'll get these started. I'll put some water on to boil and we'll have some
potatoes with them."

"Sounds good. I'll get the animals taken care of for the night," said
Edward, jumping down from the rail-less back porch. As he passed Charles
heading back to the house, he stopped and grabbed his arm. Charles looked
at him, then saw Edward's cheeky grin and knew what was on his mind. He
leaned in and kissed Edward gently, knowing he wanted more.

"Later. I promise," he said, now grinning himself. Edward turned and
happily quickened his pace, eager to get the evening chores finished in
favor of more enjoyable activities to come. He was surprised to hear a
rustling behind him, only to find an equally eager Charles standing there.

"I'll help. We'll get it all done faster. The meat'll keep for a little
while." Edward laughed and together they fed and watered the horses,
loosely corralled in a split rail enclosure next to the cabin the two men
had built in their first month in Ohio. Edward made sure the chickens had
enough feed and water in the tin feeders, mentally counting the growing
brood. With the last batch of chicks, hatched only two weeks ago, they had
nearly three dozen birds. Hopefully the majority would survive the winter.

Meanwhile Charles fed and watered the goats, their main source of
milk. Charles watched for a moment as they pushed and shoved a bit to get
at the feed in the trough. He had to laugh. They ate anything that moved -
or didn't - all day long, yet every evening acted like they were starving
to death. He also noticed that one of them was looking quite large.

"She's pregnant," said Edward, stepping up next to him.

"Really?" asked Charles. "That was fast. Wasn't she the one old man
Connaughy gave us in exchange for helping with his barn roof?"

"Yep. She seems to have found a way to get along with the boys here, I
reckon," he said playfully. Charles laughed.

Turning around to face the cabin, both men stood there, thinking about all
they had accomplished together in only a few months. They were still facing
a harsh winter to come, but inside each of them was the certainty they
would succeed by being together.

There in the candle light streaming from the cabin windows, Edward turned
to face Charles, grabbing his hands and feeling the warmth in his own. He
quietly looked into Charles' eyes, seeing the light of love burning
brightly in him. It was the light that told him he was finally home.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Authors' Note: If you have enjoyed this story, check out Jack Schaeffer's
"Forever" series in the Beginnings section on Nifty if you haven't already
- http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/forever/