Date: Sun, 5 Sep 2010 23:15:55 -0200
From: JT Ogden <jtogden@hotmail.ca>
Subject: Living On the Atlantic: Chapter 2 (Beginnings Section)

"Fuck Tim!!!! It's not always about you?" Derek was getting pissed and
Jared was just staring at us. I was pissed, but the magnitude of what Jared
had just told me was starting to get through... I was starting to see the
absolute fear in his eyes, and the absolute rage in Derek' eyes. Wait, why
was Derek pissed? I am allowed to feel what I am feeling.

"Fuck off Derek! You guys had this enormous secret from me, and what, I am
not allowed to be angry! Fuck you Derek! Your supposed to be my best
bud. Man, can't you fucking see it from my perspective."

"Shut the hell up Tim. Look at what your doing to Jare. I thought you were
better, but you just like the other fucktards, I will never forget this"

With that, Derek got up, looked at the shattered picture of the three of
us, shook his head and left. I had never seen Derek like this, wait, that's
not exactly true. The day I first met Jared, is the only other
time. Anyway, lets get back to the story.

It was the lunch after the whole Tim Horton's incident, and I was having
lunch at my desk, as per normal. I am a firm believer that breaks just
means you will have to work late. So, I figure that if I put all my effort
for the hours I am at work, then my time is exactly that. My time! Pretty
cocky for someone on the ground level trying to work his way up the
corporate ladder, but its how I felt.

Anyway, Derek came up and asked if we could go for a walk. I was new and I
finally felt I had made some friends, so I felt kinda compelled to go with
him. We left the building and started walking towards Citadel Hill. (For
those of you who do not know, Citadel Hill is a giant fortress from when
the French and British were fighting over North America, on this giant hill
in the middle of Halifax.)

Derek and I were walking and shooting the shit, I learned that he and Jared
were orphans. I guess you aren't really an orphan when your 25 (which is
how old they were), but that their parents and younger brother and sister
were killed in a motor vehicle accident 5 years ago. Then, came something I
was not prepared for.

"Tim, you seem like a quiet guy, so its hard to read you, but I hope I have
got you pegged right, but if I don't, and you fuck with my brother and hurt
him, you will be dead. I should not have let you know that my brother is
gay, but now that you do, I am warning you. This is not a threat. it's a
promise! He been through enough for one life."

Wow, this was intense. I really did not know what to say. There was so much
intensity in his eyes. Its terrifying but strangely passionate at the same
time.

"Dude, listen, I don't know anything about Jared. I have met him for like 5
minutes. Hell, I know more about him from you, than himself. Heck, I am
wanting friends. That's all. I am not looking for anything really." This
was already complicated, and I was getting scared. Too much.

"Man, I am sorry. I am very protective of my brother. He's all I have
left. I am sorry to have jumped the gun. Forgive me."

"Sure man... Trust me." and with that we fist pumped and continued our
lunch walk joking like two guys enjoying the July day.

The rest of the day was uneventful, which for me is an absolutely good
thing, as I was starting to work myself up about tonight. What was tonight?
Was it a date? Was I his type? Is he my type? Were we going to be friends?
Was he just being nice? I had no idea. I think if I would have had his
number, I probably would have came up with some excuse to skip tonight. But
I was not going to stand him up, I wasn't that type of guy, but even if I
was, my chat with Derek kinda put any of those thoughts out the window.

So work ended at 5 as per normal, so I quickly got up and left the
building, hoping not to run into Derek any more. I liked Derek, but he made
me more nervous about `hanging out" with Jared, than I could have possibly
myself. So I ran out of the office and jogged all the way home. Now that in
itself showed me how much nerves I had, as I do not jog! When I play
sports, its like Baseball or tennis. Short bursts of speed, but nothing of
straight endurance. However, I jogged , more like sprinted home, only to
stop for traffic, until I made it to my apartment.

I went home and then spent the next hour, yes the next hour, to decide what
I was going to wear. It was quite pathetic in hind sight, but I was
nervous. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but what I did know is that I
was inexperienced with this scene. Yes I was gay, but I wasn't overt. I had
only 2 partners in my young life, and both of them was them being the
dominant one. I guess I lucked into them. Neither of them was serious, just
fuck buddies. They were friends with benefits. Someone to get rid of those
primal urges. Never any emotions attached.

Then it hit me. What a moron I am. I have completely overanalyzed the
situation based on meeting a guy for five minutes. Once I came to that
realization, I felt a calm come over me and I went on auto-pilot and got
ready like I was hanging out with the guys in Toronto. A good pair of
jeans, and a orange polo shirt. I showered, got ready and realized I was
cutting the time awfully close, and kicked it over to Jared's.

Once I arrived at the twins condo, I went in and knocked on Jared's
door. There was no answer. I knocked again, and I could hear a "What?" I
knocked again, and the door opened.

"What?" asked a sleepy-eyed Jared. He came to the door in a grey
wife-beater and a pair of plaid boxers. Man, did he look hot. He wasn't
even trying and I was blown away.

"Hey Jared, what's up." with a nervous chuckle as it seemed that I had
disturbed him.  "Oh Tim man, Fuck I am sorry, I was sleeping, I wasn't
feeling too hot earlier."

"Oh Jared, man, if your not feeling so well, we can do this again. I mean,
all I was truly expected to get my shirt back."

"No man, I am feeling a lot better man. Come in."

"really man, I really don't mind."

"No, I have been cooped up in here alone all day, I am sure some fresh air
is all I need. Give me ten and I will be ready and we can hit the town."

"cool, take your time. I will be over talking to Derek while I wait."

"How do you know Derek?"

"I ran into him this morning on my way out this morning. He works at the
same office as me. He filled me in on how you guys are twins." Jared
started looking apprehensive, and a little nervous. "Really, it's all good
Jared, just go get ready." Jared went back into his condo and I walked over
to Derek's door and knocked.

"Hey Tim" Derek greeted me

"Hey man, do you mind if I hang while I wait for your brother to get
ready?"

"He was sleeping wasn't he. He has been a lot. He hasn't been feeling so
great."

"So he said, I tried to let him go back to sleep and say we would do this
again at another time but he insisted he was feeling better."

"He probably is then... yeah come in, I am just getting some dinner ready
for me and my girlfriend Jenn."

I then tried not to be a bother, but he assured me that his girlfriend
wouldn't be arriving for at least an half hour. I went into his apartment,
and saw the most amazing pad. It was so neat and clean with these beautiful
paintings on the wall. He explained to me that Jared had painted
these. That is what he does for a living. There was this one painting above
his fireplace. It was weird but beautiful. It was Derek about 5 years
younger with his glasses and his thick head of hair looking into a mirror,
and into its reflection it was Jared. I hadn't seen too much of Jared, but
I could recognize those emerald eyes sparkle. It was beautiful. As I stared
at the painting Jared walked into Derek's place.

"I guess I don't have to introduce you guys, do I?" said Jared with a
chuckle.

"Nope there Bro, Tim and I go way back... wait does our work time count as
way back." Derek replied.

I responded that I didn't think so, which made us all laugh. Then I
mentioned to Jared, we should get going. He invited Derek, but he declined
because of his plans with Jenn, so I went to the washroom and then Jared
and I said our goodbyes and left.

As we were walking down the street, my stomach started to growl. I was very
embarrassed, but Jared started to laugh. I told him that I really hadn't
ate at all today, and was starved. So he asked where we wanted to eat, and
I had mentioned that I had this weird addiction to garlic fingers. For
those of you who don't know, garlic fingers is the most amazing thing. It
was so simple, its pizza dough with garlic covered in cheese dipped in this
awesome sauce called donair sauce. Jared laughed and said that he could go
for some garlic fingers and we walked to the nearest pizza joint, which is
where they sell these fingers.

We sat down, and we started talking... It was great, we talked about our
mutual love of hockey. He played Hockey as a youth, I on the other hand
could not skate to save my life. However, I was a huge fan of watching
hockey. It turned out we had a little rivalry between us. He was a
Canadiens fan and I am a huge Leafs fan. So of course, some trash talking
came into play to. It was just like talking to one of the guys. It was like
we had known each other. We finished up the Garlic Fingers, and Jared
decided that since I was newish around town, that he would give me his own
private tour.

So we went around the downtown, and we came up to this old pub. He said we
had to go in, as it had the best live music in the city. He then explained
that there was often live Keltic music here. Not really knowing what Keltic
music was, I complied and went in. Once we went into the pub, the music
totally captivated me. Its very rare, or at least to me, when a song or a
bit music totally takes control of you. Well, that is what happened. There
was this shaggy gentleman on the stage playing this flute like instrument
and it was absolutely beautiful. I stood there until I got a gentle nudge
from Jared, who told me that he had a booth.

We sat down, and the waitress came over and asked if we wanted something to
drink. Jared asked me what type of beer I drank. I told him that I didn't,
but an iced tea would be great. Jared told the waitress, two iced teas, and
left it at that. When your 25, everyone thinks your crazy when you don't
drink. Jared didn't. He just started up another conversation, and we
listened to the most heavenly music. Honestly, if you don't know what
Keltic music is, research it. Its great.

The questions started to have more substance. I found out that he was a
painter by love, but would find seasonal work as an animator when he could
find the work. He was adamant that he could not sell out on his passion. He
talked about his brother, and then asked about my family and my life thus
far in Toronto.

I explained that I was an only child and was very close to my
parents. Really didn't associate with the rest of family. Alcoholism is
rampant in our family, and I just couldn't deal with the shit anymore. As
close as I was to my folks, I had to get away. I used to be able to hide
it, and just try to stay out of the way, but with most of the family living
within a block of each other, it was getting more difficult. The final
straw was my celebration party for graduating University, where I ended
getting smacked around by a couple of my uncles, for not "celebrating"
adequately.

" So that's why you ordered an Iced Tea?" asked Jared.

"Partly. I saw all the time growing up, how big of jerks my uncles, cousins
and sometimes even my folks (but that was more in my younger days) could
be. My parents are recovering alcoholics. They have been sober for 11 years
now. Its taken a lot of work to get where our relationship is now, and I
certainly am not going down that path again. I know, that more than likely
I could easily be like them. it's a great motivator to not drink." I
responded back. He just stared at me. He had a reassuring look upon his
face, but I could see he was trying to crack a smile, for me to crack a
smile.

"ok, I know that seems like a valid answer, but you said that it was partly
why you didn't drink?"

"I didn't say that. I said partly to why I ordered an Iced tea. I ordered
an iced tea, because I love iced tea." I thought that would take this
uncomfortable conversation in a different path.

Jared just chuckled, called me a smart ass. After the chuckles ceased, he
did something that surprised the shit out of me. He placed his hand on my
hand resting on the table. It was magnetic. It was amazing. It was
electrifying. He then softly said "I talked to Derek while you were in the
washroom at his place. I know what he said today."

With that we just sat there, hand in hand and watched the music. After a
couple hours, it was getting late, and I was getting tired. He sensed it
and suggested that we leave. I tried to protest. The music was awesome, and
this guy was doing amazing things on the violin. Oh wait, the fiddle, but
it was getting late.

We walked back to his apartment, just walking side by side in silence, when
something came over me and I grabbed his hand out of his pocket. It was a
little forward to me, but I loved his touch. He looked over and smiled, and
we walked down the street. As I saw his condo in view. I was getting
nervous. I have had sex partners before, but never did I feel anything for
them. This was different. This made me almost a little nauseous.

As we approached his door, he started,

"This was an amazing night. I want to thank you for this awesome date."

"This was a date?" I was playing with him now.

"I typically don't walk down the street holding hands with one of my
buddies"

"You've got me there." Then we stood there just staring. Neither of us knew
what quite to do.

He then asked "Do you want to come in?"

"YES" I screamed. He just started laughing "but I think I should go. I like
you Jared, and this was a perfect date, I really like you Jared, and I want
to end this evening like this, as perfect as it was, and not rush things. I
know I seem like a total tease, but do you understand?"

"Absolutely Man. I totally agree, except for one thing."

"What's that?" I was a little perplexed, and as I was trying to figure out
what he was talking about, he leant down and gave me a gentle kiss. He lips
tasted so good. They were so soft and welcoming. There was no tongue, but
it was probably the sweetest kiss ever.

"Now this has been the perfect date." Jared replied. Yes, in retrospect it
sounds corny, but at the time I was almost drooling.

"Can I come see you tomorrow evening Jared?"

"I don't know, can you?" What a smart ass.

"Sure. Come to my place at around 7 and I will cook dinner." I then
proceeded to give him one of my business cards, which had my cell and wrote
my address on the back.

"Great. Until Tomorrow." and with that he walked into his building, and I
just sauntered home with the biggest grin on my face.