Date: Thu, 5 Dec 2002 20:43:34 -0800 (PST)
From: Terence Audette <taarob@yahoo.com>
Subject: Lost and Found 2

I wasn't cold like I usually am.  Michael's left arm was
under my neck, the front of his body pressed to my back his
right arm over my chest and his right arm holding my
shoulder.  I could feel his lungs rising and falling and his
breath warm on the back of my neck.  He wasn't snoring but
he was making a small sound, much softer than a snore but
similar.  It was comforting.

I could hear the wind hitting the windows and even though
the heat was on it was obvious that it had gotten even
colder outside.  God I hate November!  It used to be
tolerable because of Thanksgiving but with the kids feeling
the way they did even that had been ruined.  Now it was just
a cold, dreary month without even the charm of snow.

I gently pulled Michael's hand off of my shoulder and slid
out of bed to go take a piss.  I stopped at the thermostat
and kicked it up a bit and closed the bathroom door so that
the light wouldn't wake Michael.  Geez, standing there
peeing I realized that I missed him!  He was twenty feet
away and I missed him!  It was a great fuck.  When did
getting fucked start feeling good?  Part of it was that look
that he got on his face.  That, "is it okay, am I doing what
you like" look.  And he is a great kisser.  Wonder where he
learned that or if he's just a natural.

Oh God the boy!  He won't be waking up in a warm house this
morning.  He's dead.  No!  Don't think about the boy!
Later, you'll move heaven and earth but later!  But not now,
now you need to be with Michael.  This guy could be the one
and he needs you too.

Michael had rolled over onto his back.  I lifted the covers
and slid in next to him on my right side.  I propped my head
on my hand and looked down at him.  He looked so peaceful
and vulnerable.  His brown hair was totally messed up and he
was making little movements with his mouth.  When my leg
touched his he responded immediately and rolled toward me,
kinda burying his face in my chest and wrapping his right
arm over my hip.  I bent my head and kissed his forehead, it
was warm and dry.  His hair smelled of shampoo.  I wondered
if he was a good lawyer.  Probably was.  Callin & Callin
only hired the best.

Michael mumbled into my right nipple.  "Whatsa time?"

I kissed him again.  "It's okay Michael, it's only about
five.  When do you need to be at work?"

"Mmmmm, they'd like me to sleep at my desk."  He held me
tighter.  "Wonderful last night."

I put my hand on his shoulder and bent to kiss his ear.
"For me too."  I smoothed his hair with my hand.

"You feel nice and warm."  He said as he slid his right leg
between my legs.  "How did I go twenty-nine years without
ever fucking anyone?"  He raised his head and looked at me.
"How fucking sick is that?  How nuts do ya have to be to be
afraid to make that total connection with someone?"

I bent down and kissed Michael again.  "You're not sick.
And for your first time out ya did a really great job."

Michael pulled my head down for another kiss.  "We could get
in a little more practice before work."  He gently cupped my
balls and then slowly moved his middle finger back towards
my asshole.

Realizing that he was fully awake I laughed and pushed him
over on his back.  "Let's try a different way."  I straddled
his waist and bent down and kissed him again.  "You'll like
this and I got a feeling that I will too."  Putting my hands
behind my back I rolled a condom down Michael's cock and
then lubed my butt.  "Okay but remember don't get too
carried away until I've had a chance to stretch.  I
positioned his cock at my asshole and slowly sank down on it
while Michael was holding my balls and gently stroking my
cock.  The feeling was indescribable, even better than last
night.  As I sank down and his cock filled me and then
passed over my prostate I almost shot my load.  I put my
hand over his to stop him from stroking my cock.

I took a deep breath.  "Damn I wish I could explain how good
it feels to have you in me."

"Feels pretty good for me too.  It's like all hot, wet,
tight and....total."

Michael was fucking slowly, steadily.  I leaned down to kiss
him and nuzzle his neck  I kissed him lightly and then more
deeply drawing the breath from his lungs.  His cock felt
like it was made of solid steel in my ass, he was totally,
completely hard and his eyes were partially closed as he
concentrated on fucking.  He was slowly stroking my back as
he fucked me, occasionally pulling me down for another kiss.
All of the feelings that I was feeling were slowly beginning
to concentrate on my cock and I knew that I could shoot at
any time.  Michael speed was increasing and I lifted myself
up so that I was squatting over him rather than sitting on
him, which allowed me to meet his upward thrusts.  The first
time I did it his eyes shot open and he made a little
gasping sound.

I bent down so that my mouth was next to his ear.  "Michael
I want your cum in my ass.  I want you to shoot your load
inside of me.  My ass is yours babe.  Fuck it."

Michael gasped out a laugh.  "You sure fuckin know what to
say.  Oh god I'm cumming!  Oh fuck!"  He was slamming his
cock up into me and I started jerking off so that we'd cum
about the same time.

"Man I'm shooting on your fucking chest!"

                    -------------------------------

Michael is left handed and when he shaves he bends over and
supports his body on his right hand while he shaves with his
left.  I'm standing watching him shave, he looks so skinny
and so hot, with his cute little butt sticking out and his
more than ample cock swinging free.

He turns and looks at me.  "What?  What?"

I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist pulling
him back against me and kiss the side of his neck.  "Looking
at you standing there shaving, well, I just thought how
right that looked and god, how fucking right you feel."
Michael squirmed in my arms twisting his head to the side.

"Jeff, you realize you've got a naked lawyer in your arms?
Your other lawyers are gonna be jealous."

I slapped him on the butt.  "You finish shaving.  I'll be
right back."  I went into my closet and brought back a suit.
"Okay, try these pants."  I was holding the pants down and
in front of me so that he could step into them.

"You're really determined that I wear your clothes aren't
you."

"Well this way you won't have to go home and I get to spend
more time with you.  Besides, all that shit is just going to
waste."  Michael gave me a look.  "Okay!  It's also kinda
hot, the thought that you're wearing my clothes."

"I don't have underwear on."

I smiled.  "That's even better."

Michael stepped in the pants and I gently scooped up his
cock and balls and lowered them into the slacks.   "Michael,
they look fucking great!  Shit they look better on you than
they do on me.  I'll get a shirt and tie.  Oh and shoes
too."

He looked fantastic.  It was a Brioni suit in a soft Glen
Plaid with a white shirt and deep green almost black tie.
"Fuck you're handsome."  I was still in my bathrobe and
leaning against the wall.

Michael came over to me and holding my face in his hands,
gently kissed me.  "You think that I'm handsome?"  He slowly
shook his head and then pressed the side of his face to
mine.  "They see this suit the people at the office will
think I've been embezzeling."

                    -------------------------


"Michael, I still want you to represent the boy.  I want you
to make sure the cops don't just forget about this and if
you have to I want private detectives."

He turned and looked at me.  "You sure?"  I gave him a look.
"Okay, okay.  Let me play devil's advocate.  First of all if
you want a lawyer to represent the boy, it probably should
be a criminal attorney.  Don't look at me like that.  Wanna
do a merger or an acquisition, I'm your guy but the only
thing that I know about stuff like this is text book stuff."
Michael took a bite of toast.  "Then there's the whole idea
about whether you want to get involved in this at all.  Look
Jeff, Callin & Callin are your attorneys.  A big part of
that is taking the broad view of things and keeping you out
of potential trouble."

"So I should just forget about this?"  I knew that my voice
was getting too loud and Michael got a weird look on his
face.  I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him.
"I know, I know, devil's advocate."  I kissed his forehead.

Michael's voice was very quiet, his chin was on my shoulder.
"I probably shouldn't even be talking about this yet.....
but what about us?  What I mean is, that if, and I know you
don't wanna make that commitment yet but if, we were to
become, you know like boyfriends, I think we ought to keep
our work lives as separate as possible."

Michael pulled his head back and looked at me with a look
that was heart wrenching.  "Jeff, you're this wealthy guy.
I can't come even close to matching what you got and if I'm
gonna keep any sense of self-worth I need to keep my job
separate."

I knew that he was right.  Not that I was going to abandon
the boy, but if Michael and I did become boyfriends I could
understand how he'd need the independence he spoke of.

I pulled Michael in for a deep kiss.  "You're right.  I
still want the firm to represent the boy but I'll leave the
choice of the lawyer up to you.  As far as the boyfriend
stuff goes, well, you're right about that too.  But Michael,
I'm like the most boring guy on earth.  My idea of a good
time is to stay home and have a nice meal, a little wine and
cuddle with a handsome young attorney."  Michael was smiling
broadly.  "We don't have to do anything that you feel
uncomfortable with."   I stroked the side of his face.   "I
won't push you Michael and I'll never put you into the
position of feeling like a poor relation.  Cause Michael,
that just isn't how I think, so we can take this as slow as
you want."  I let go of him and poured myself another cup of
coffee.  "The other thing is how I interact with your firm
now.  You think I should tell Joe?"  I was referring to Joe
Callin the senior partner in the firm and the guy I always
talked to.  "You think we should tell him?"

Michael frowned in concentration.  "Not yet, let's be sure
ourselves of how we feel.  Once we're sure of that then if
we decide we want to be together then definitely yes we
should tell him, and probably do it together."

He got a totally weird look on his face and then dropped his
chin to his chest.  "Oh fuck!  Oh fuck I forgot!"  He looked
up at me.

"His name is Scott, or was."  Michael pressed the balls of
his hands into his eyes.  "How could I forget that?"  He
looked up at me.  "It was the only thing he said at the
hospital before he died.  The nurse kept asking him his name
and he finally said Scott."

It was like somehow the body of the dead boy was being
touched with a wand, a magical wand that imparted this
missing bit of humanity, his name.  I pictured it spreading
across and through him, restoring, in some way, his status
as a member of the human race.

I wrapped my arms around Michael and held him by his belt
while I rested my face next to his.  I said the name,
"Scott... Scott," as if testing it for authenticity.  It
felt right.

"Pick a good attorney...someone who never quits.. a real
bulldog."

                    -----------------------------------

Rosie brought me a cup of coffee.  If I had asked her to
bring me a cup she would have given me a fifteen minute
lecture on how she wasn't a waitress, or a servant but my
assistant and that she shouldn't be expected to wait on me
and actually I agreed with her.
She brought me coffee when she wanted information,
information best gathered in a heart to heart talk.

"So boss, whatcha think of Michael?  You guys gonna see each
other again?  Ralph says he's skinny.  He skinnier than
you?"

I laughed.  "Rosie, he's not skinny!  Actually we're the
same size.  He wore one of my suits to work today."  I
glanced up at her quickly and she was rolling her eyes.  She
sat her ample butt back in the chair and smiled.  I smiled
too.  "So he didn't have to go home and then to work.  We
could have more time together."

"He was a straight A student at University of Chicago, the
boys smart.  Course if he wears your suit to work he's got
to return it, doesn't he?"

"You've been digging Rosie.  Whatcha find out?"

"Well boss, I started to dig and then I figured that if
Michael turns out to be the right guy for you that then
maybe I shouldn't be invading his privacy.  Ya understand?
Like he might not be so cool with that.  Anyway I figured
you'd be doin plenty of diggin on your own if you understand
my meaning."

I rested my chin on my hand.  "You're right.  Let's make him
off limits.  Besides he's been pretty open with me."  I was
thinking, as I had been all morning, of Michael's cock
flopping back and forth in my suit pants.

"Okay Rosie, the real estate guy.  What's happening?"

Rosie shifted her weight in the chair.  "He wants $23,500 an
acre and I told him we'd give em nineteen grand."

"You think he'll split the difference?"

"Boss, I ain't splittin no damn difference!  Besides he's
got nobody else gives a damn about that land."

"Rosie, how the hell do you know that?"

Rosie laughed uproariously her whole body shaking with it.
She rubbed the tears out of her eyes.  "Boss I gotta have
some secrets."  When she settled down.  "Why you want that
land so bad anyway?  What you gonna do with it?"

I put my feet up on the corner of my desk.  "I'm not sure.
Maybe nothing.  When my grandfather was alive, before I was
born, they lived in Chicago and on the weekends he and my
grandmother would drive out into the country.  Well in those
days if you drove fifty miles from the city you were in the
middle of nowhere.  So grandpa would drive till he found
what he consider to be a good intersection, now in those
days that would be two twolane highways crossing in the
middle of farm land, and he'd buy all four corners if he
could.  Course it was the depression and just about
everything was for sale.  Well, you had to be patient but if
you were willing to wait twenty years you had a tremendous
return."  I took my feet off of the desk and took a sip of
coffee.  "All that land we've got in Illinois we got just
that way."

I thought of the way that Michael felt when I kissed him
goodbye this morning, the muscles in his back as I wrapped
my arms around him, how warm and sweet his breath was, the
feeling of his cock pressing against my leg.

Rosie was holding a rolled up magazine to her mouth and
speaking into it.  "Earth to Mr. Palmer.  Earth to Mr.
Palmer."  She was laughing.  "You was thinking about him.
Don't tell me you weren't!  Oh boss, you might just as well
roll over and play dead, cause that boy has got you."  She
was right.

                         -------------------

All of a sudden I was flooded with doubts.  Maybe yesterday
was just, well just an accident, two people coming together
under totally weird circumstances, who just happened to
connect.  Maybe I was just a one night stand and he was
already trying to think of the best way out of it.  Maybe he
was just too freaked by the differences in our financial
situations and didn't want to bother with it.

At three o'clock I called his cell phone.

"Yeah?"

"Michael!"

"Oh god, Jeff!  Wow it's been a fucking day!"

"Michael, are ya coming over tonight?"

"Yeah Jeff but I can't have dinner there.  I've got a dinner
meeting with Brian Caldwell.  He's the guy I got ya to
represent the boy, Scott."  He hesitated a moment.  "But
afterwards, I thought that I would, I mean if you want me
to, I thought I'd come over, about eight.  Would that be
okay?"

"Yeah Michael, that'd be great.  Michael, pull your car over
by the garage, the third door, it's empty.  I mean it's
really cold out you might as well pull in.  Michael?  You
there?"

"Fuck I missed you today Jeff!  Even as nuts as it's been
around here today I keep thinking of what it was like waking
up with you this morning.  How warm you felt."  Michael was
silent for a moment.  "Fuck Jeff, I gotta go!  I'll see ya
later baby."

"Bye babe."

                    --------------------------------

I pulled open the back door and Michael was standing there,
the collar of his tan overcoat turned up against the cold,
his breath visible.

"Come in, come in, Michael."  I stepped aside and then took
his overcoat when he took it off.

"Damn it's getting cold out there."  We were kinda just
looking at each other, both feeling uncertain.

Michael was looking a little shy and while I was feeling a
bit the same way, I found my hand reaching out and taking
the back of his neck and pulling him to me.  It was almost
in slow motion the way that his head tilted to the left and
mine to the right and then our lips came together and then
our hands were everywhere, touching, exploring, unzipping
and then we were on the floor of the kitchen tearing our
clothes off and never breaking the kiss, never wanting to
separate for even an instant and then pulling everything out
of a cabinet looking for cooking oil and then the sudden
pain of penetration and finally he was inside of me, taking
me again and still the kiss, still the feel of his tongue in
my mouth and the sound of his balls as they slapped against
my ass and then cum was everywhere, my chest, his chest, my
ass, his face, and the Canola oil was spilt and we were
laughing, laughing and exhausted.  Two naked men lying on
the kitchen floor in each others arms, clothes thrown into a
pile in the corner by the refrigerator, laughing and telling
each other that they loved each other.  I did a quick
cleanup of the kitchen floor and then took Michael by the
hand and we walked naked to the bathroom.

In the shower I took Michael's face in my hands and held it
inches from mine.  "This day was perfect shit!  All that I
could fucking think of all day was you and did you feel
about me like I feel about you and what the hell was I gonna
do if you didn't.  I want us to be a couple.  I'll
understand if you're nervous about moving in right away and
if you need to keep parts of our work lives separate, but we
need to be a us.  Okay?"

The water from the shower was pouring down over both of us
and running in sheets off of Michael's head.  I started to
laugh and pulled him out from under the shower.  "I really
don't wanna drown ya."   He blinked several times and the
green flecks in his eyes flashed.

Michael raised his arms and wrapped them around my back.  He
held me tightly and lightly rested his chin on my shoulder
and then rubbed his face against mine.

When he spoke his voice was soft with an almost faraway
quality to it.  "I love you.  I guess that in a way, I have
for a long time."  He continued rubbing his face against
mine and then pulled his head back and kissed me, his eyes
were closed and his head tilted to one side.
Finally he broke the kiss and put his chin on my shoulder
again.  Our bodies were pressed together, our cocks next to
each other.  He sighed and laid his head on my shoulder
while he stroked my back slowly.  "I'm afraid.  It's a big
step."  He lifted his head and looked at me.  "But I'm more
afraid when I'm not with you.  You're right, we need to be a
us."

We turned off the shower and dried each other off.  Then I
grabbed a blanket from the closet and Michael and I laid
down on the sofa in the living room, the fire was blazing in
the fireplace, supplying the only light in the room.  We
laid together on the sofa wrapped in the blanket, talking
softly and watching the flames.

My left leg was over Michael's left leg and I was half lying
on top of him my face next to his.  "You're happy with this
Caldwell guy?"  My mouth was inches from his and I kissed
him lightly.  Michael's left arm was around me and he was
rubbing my back.

His hand came up and pulled my head down to his shoulder.
"He's the best."  Michael laughed.  "Ya know, I don't think
that I've ever seen him smile.  That's a good sign in a
criminal lawyer."  He turned his head slightly and kissed my
forehead.  "He's also a stud!"

I lifted my head up and gave him a look.  He pulled it back
down and turned his head toward mine, when he spoke it was a
whisper.  "Don't worry, I'm a married man and sooooooo much
in love."

I kissed his ear and then stuck my tongue in it.  Michael
twisted his head first away and then back towards me.  "Holy
fuck that feels good!"

"Nobody ever stuck their tongue in your ear?"

"Nope, never."  Michael ran his fingers through my hair.  "I
never let em get that close."  He pulled my face to his and
kissed me hard and deep, exploring my mouth with his tongue.
"But I want you to get close.  I want you to be a part of
me.  I want us to start wondering where one of us ends and
the other begins."  He raised his head and turned to me.
"Ya know what turned me on, what really turned me on?
Yesterday when you woke up, well I guess you went to pee but
later back in bed you ran your hand up my leg and squeezed
my butt and then while you were talking to me you just kinda
held my balls."  He laid his head back down and kinda
grinned at me.  "I felt so yours, so much like we were, like
you said, an us.  I want us to be that way, to be able to
touch each other, for us both to be a part of that, us."  He
turned and looked at me again.  "Cause Jeff, I really need
you to touch me when you want to, cause I don't want there
to be any restraints, I want us to belong to each other
totally."

The flickering light coming from the fireplace danced around
the walls of the room, casting and dissolving shadows.  My
fathers portrait on the mantle was in shadows and I wondered
briefly what he'd think to see his son in the arms of a man.
I guess that when I really thought about it, I knew that he
wouldn't care.  He had been a kind of an outcast his whole
life, at least in the sense of the business he chose to
start and the way he lived.  I don't ever recall him seeming
to give a damn what people thought.

I laid my head on Michael's upper chest feeling the solidity
of it.  It felt so good to finally have someone to share the
burden and Michael was strong.  It wasn't a burden of work
or poverty but a burden of the spirit and it had weighed so
heavily on me for so long.  I hadn't realized how hard it
had been just being gay but now that I had someone to share
that with I was beginning to understand what I had been
going through.

I stuck my tongue out and licked Michael's nipple.  "Oh fuck
that feels good!"  He put his hand behind my head and gently
pressed it towards his nipple.  "Oh god Jeff! Do it again."

I looked up at him.  "You've got big nipples.  Those are
usually sensitive."

Michael covered his nipples with his hands.  "Whadya mean
they're big?

I smiled at him.  "Not like a woman's nipples but, well,
more pronounced than big.  I love nipples like this."  I
pushed his fingers away and took another lick.  Michael
moaned.  I held his left nipple between my lips and gently
flicked the tip of it with my tongue.  He began to twist and
raise his chest as if the pleasure were almost too great to
bear.

"Oh fuck Jeff, damn that feels good!"

I reached down and circled his balls and cock with my hand,
he was rock hard.  Michael looked up at me and smiled.  "Any
chance you'd like to get fucked again?"

I ran my left hand from Michael's cock up his abdomen, to
his firm stomach and hard, hairy chest.  I smiled down at
him.  "Ya know I'm gonna become addicted to this?"  I swung
my left leg over Michael's waist and positioned his cock at
my ass.  I lubed my butt with spit and then slowly moved
down on his dick.  My hands were on his shoulders and I was
concentrating on dealing with the initial pain as I was
being stretched.

Michael had a concerned look on his face.  "Jeff, go slow,
don't hurt yourself."

"I'm okay babe.  I just need a second."  The feeling of his
cock entering me and then slowly moving up into me was
beyond description.  It wasn't only a physical feeling but a
very emotional experience too, a feeling of possession that
was both extraordinarily erotic but also very comforting.

Just as Michael's cock was hitting bottom he reached up and
pulled my rock hard cock down and let it slap back up and
hit my stomach.  "Oh fuck Michael!  I'm so close, so fucking
close!"  The top of his cock was exerting a lot of pressure
against my prostate.

As soon as the moment passed I bent forward and kissed him.
"Okay let's try this now."
I started rubbing and gently pulling Michael's nipples.  The
reaction was immediate, his head went flying back, his chest
went up and his hips thrust forward.  It felt like his dick
was gonna come out of my mouth.

"Ohhh Jeff!  Holy crap!"  Then when he saw the look of pain
on my face he rested his hands on my thighs and asked.
"Babe, you okay?  Those are hotwired directly to my cock.  I
probably shoulda warned ya."

"Guess I need to treat those a little more gently."  Michael
was still gently fucking me with very short strokes, almost
as if his body was doing it by itself.

"Oh yeah Michael!  Just like that, that's so fucking good!"
My knees and legs were straddling his hips while I moved
gently counter to his thrusts.   I started raising myself up
higher and moving down on his cock harder while I balanced
myself with one hand on the back of the sofa.  Each thrust
was bringing us closer to cumming and I start to very slowly
jerk my cock.

Michael reached forward and circled my balls with his right
hand and gently played with them.  "Oh fuck Michael.  Ya got
me so fucking close man!  Yeah, play with those balls!"  His
thrusts were coming much faster and harder now, he was
slamming up into me.

"Jeff, I'm gonna fucking cum!  Fuck you got a sweet ass!  Oh
fucking yes, yes!"  I could feel Michael shooting in my ass
and it triggered my own orgasm.

My first shot almost hit Michael on the chin, the rest shot
onto his chest.

               --------------------------------------------

We were standing at the foot of our bed.  I guess I really
did now consider it our bed.  Michael was kissing the side
of my neck.  His words were spoken softly, tenderly.  "Jeff,
you make me so happy.  And no, it's not just the sex, you're
bringing out feeling in me I didn't know I was capable of."

I pulled Michael slowly into bed and wrapped him around me
his cock pressed against my ass, his right arm around my
chest.