Date: Fri, 4 Dec 2009 10:35:33 -0800 (PST)
From: Henry Brooks <hankster1430@bellsouth.net>
Subject: Love Me If You Can (Christmas short story)

Joe Gordon woke up on his fortieth birthday alone in bed.  That was
certainly not unusual for him.  The handsome, nearly young, executive was
used to waking up alone.  If he had sex in the evening at someone else's
place, he left as soon as he could, and if someone had sex with him at his
apartment, he made it quite clear that he was not welcome to spend the
night.  He enjoyed playing the field and he wasn't going to let himself get
involved.  To that end he always avoided over nighters.

Joey had a counterpart in the non-commitment department.  Yuri Stigorian
grew up in Athens to an Israeli mother and a Greek father.  He moved to New
York to attend Columbia University.  After school, he remained in the Big
Apple, where he opened an American branch of his father's designer clothing
manufacturing business.

Yuri's mother was a tall exotic looking model who came to Athens for a
runway show to promote Israeli fashion.  There she met Yuri's handsome
father and she never returned to Israel.  Yuri inherited his mother's
beauty and his father's athletic body.

His maternal grandparents had immigrated to Israel from New York City when
Yuri's mother was a baby.  He had spent every summer of his boyhood
visiting them in Israel, and as a result he spoke Greek, English and Hebrew
like a native.  He also enjoyed American, Israeli (through his mother), and
Greek (by birth) citizenship. He had no problem attracting handsome young
studs to his bedroom, but like Joey, he made it quite clear that they could
not spend the night.

Joey was vice president and principal buyer for a chain of boutiques which
sold high end designer clothing.  One morning he had an appointment with
Yuri to view his current line of designer clothing.  The line included the
works of some of the top designers in the world.  The two men were
immediately attracted to each other and slept together that very night.

On the night before his fortieth birthday, Joey had dinner with Yuri, with
whom he had been tricking with off and on for the past six months.  Yuri
was five years younger than he, but they both looked to be in their late
twenties.  If he was honest with himself, he enjoyed sex with Yuri more
than anyone else he could remember.  Even the time they spent together,
before and after sex, was relaxing and casual.  They would sip wine and
talk about nothing in particular.  Yet everything Yuri said, all the small
talk, seemed to be so intelligent and important to Joey.

Last night Yuri fell asleep after their second sexual encounter of the
evening, and rather than wake him and tell him it was time to go, Joey
cuddled up to him, wrapped his arm around Yuri's torso and he too fell
asleep.  He could not remember sleeping so well in years.  When he awoke,
he was terribly disappointed that Yuri was gone.  He probably left in the
middle of the night, Joey thought.  That was what he always demanded of his
tricks, so why was he disappointed?

He wanted to roll over and get another forty winks, but he had to pee
badly.  Instead he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.  He thought
he smelled something, and so he took a deep breath and inhaled deeply.  He
was not mistaken.  The apartment was filled with the pleasant aroma of
bacon frying on a griddle.  He stopped to pee, only because he had to, and
then headed to the kitchen.  There was Yuri at the range, as naked as he
was.

"Good morning handsome," Yuri said, "Your breakfast is almost ready.  Pour
the juice and butter the toast, please, while I finish the bacon and eggs."

Yesterday, or maybe last week, Joey would have been angry to have Yuri stay
over.  This morning he was delighted.  The domesticity of the scene did not
escape him, but he brushed aside the feeling of entrapment and decided to
enjoy the moment.  Joey had never consciously decided that it was time to
settle down, but seeing Yuri making breakfast for both of them, so
overwhelmed him, that he thought that maybe he and Yuri could make a life
together.

Easy guy, he thought. You have no idea what Yuri thinks about all this.

Joey went over to Yuri and put his arms around him.  His cock pushed up
against Yuri's ass as he kissed Yuri on the neck.  "I'm glad you didn't run
away," Joey said.  "Today is a big birthday for me and I really need some
one to share it with.  I guess I really mean that I need someone to console
me."

"I know," Yuri said.  "I didn't fall asleep on you last night.  I only
pretended.  I wanted to be with you on this very special occasion."  Yuri
turned around and kissed Joey on his lips.  "Happy birthday, young man," he
said.

They ate breakfast in relative silence.  Joey's parents were long dead.  He
had no other family, and since his childhood, Joey had never eaten
breakfast at home with another human being.  He really was at a loss for
conversation.  His mind was working overtime.  He still believed that he
didn't want any involvements, but he was feeling things for Yuri that he
was totally unused to.

They rinsed the dishes, and placed them in the dishwasher.  All this was
done in silence.  To be honest, both men were confused about their
feelings.

"Let's shower and get back in bed," Yuri suggested.  "I want to make love
to you all day long as a birthday present."

"I like the way you think," Joey said.  He took Yuri's hand and led him
into the bathroom.  He started the shower and waited for the temperature to
be at his satisfaction level.  Then the two entered the stall.  Once inside
they wrapped their arms around each other and hugged tightly.  Their cocks
rubbed together and they both began to get hard.

I love this man, Joey thought, but I don't dare tell him.  Shit!

They made love most of the day, and in the evening Yuri took Joey out for a
gourmet dinner to celebrate his birthday.  Joey didn't even protest when
Yuri picked up the tab.  They parted after dinner and days went by before
they spoke again.  Neither wanted to be the one to admit how much he missed
the other.  More strange was the fact that they both remained celibate
during this time of confusion.

Finally one morning, Yuri had to call Joey on business.  That broke the
ice.

"It's been too long," Joey said.  "Let's get together tonight."

"You're on," Yuri said.  "I have a slew of appointments this afternoon.
I'll be running late so come on over to my place about 6:30 and we'll
decide on what to do."

"Sure," Joey said, but what he really wanted to say was let's skip dinner
and fuck our brains out.  "I'll see you then," he concluded as he hung up.

It was only 3 PM, but just then his secretary came in to inform him that
she was leaving, and to wish him a Merry Christmas.  Joey had completely
forgotten that it was Christmas Eve and his office was closing early.  He
was not close enough with anyone to have made holiday plans and for the
first time in his life that bothered him. He actually felt remorse.  He
figured that Yuri was in the same boat since his folks were in Greece.  He
was glad he had invited Yuri to spend the evening with him, and he could
have kicked himself for being such an asshole and not having called Yuri
sooner.

He had about three hours to kill before going over to Yuri's apartment.  He
decided to buy Yuri a Christmas present.  He was the last person in the
office so he locked up and headed for Bloomingdale's.  He bought Yuri a
handsome pair of kid gloves, which he had gift wrapped.  He thought several
times about it, and in the end he enclosed a card which read,
"Affectionately, Joey."  He still had a couple of hours to kill so he
dropped in at a cocktail lounge which was located a short distance from
Yuri's apartment.

The lounge was empty except for an elderly man at the bar.  Most people had
left work early and had headed home to be with their families.  Joey seated
himself at the bar and ordered a scotch and soda.  He could see that the
man sitting a few seats down from him was an exceptionally handsome older
man, about 65 years old, holding a beer in his hands.  The glass was full
and the beer had no head.  Obviously the man had not drunk a sip of the
brew.  Suddenly he put his arm on the bar, placed his head on his arm and
began to cry.  His whole body heaved with the force of his sobs.

Joey rushed over and put his arm around the man's shoulder.  He looked up
at Joey, and Joey gasped.  The man looked like an older version of himself.
He was the same height; his eyes were the exact same color; his hair was
speckled with gray but the original color was the same as his.  The man was
still sobbing, but as his crying abated he said, "Thanks for caring Joey."

"How did you know my name?" Joey asked.  The man didn't answer him, and an
uncomfortable silence followed.  Finally Joey asked, "Why are you crying,
fella?  Is there something I can do to help?"

"No one can help," the man said.  "Here it is Christmas Eve, and I'm all
alone.  There's not a soul on earth I can share the evening with."

"Surely a good looking guy like you has at least one girlfriend to be with
tonight," Joey tried to console the guy.

"First of all, Joey, I'm gay, and I don't even have one boyfriend to share
this evening with either."

"That's hard to believe," Joey said.  "Have you been living on Mars for the
past twenty years?"

"I might just as well have been out of this world," the man said.  "I have
pushed away every man that ever wanted to be close to me.  I was afraid of
a relationship.  I only wanted to have one night stands.  I couldn't bear
the thought of committing to anyone.  I just wanted to be fancy free, and I
am.  Now that I'm old, older," he corrected himself, "here I am, a lonely
man.  I was a jerk."

His words stung Joey to his core.  Wasn't that what he was doing?  Wasn't
he forty and still alone?  Didn't he push all his loves out of his life?
No wonder the stranger was crying.  Suddenly Joey felt like crying with
him.

The man looked at Joey accusingly.  "You're doing the same thing.  Aren't
you, you fool?"

What right had this stranger to say these things to him?  He had no cause
to call him a fool even if he was one.  Joey was getting more and more
uncomfortable.  Not only did this man know his name, but he seemed to know
all about him.

"You have no right to say these things," Joey answered back.  "I love my
life and I don't want to complicate it.  Anyway, whether I do or not, is
none of your business.  Now I suggest you stop sniveling and I'll buy you a
fresh beer."

"I'm sorry," the man said.  "I guess I overstepped my bounds.  I'd like a
fresh drink, thank you."

"You have me at a disadvantage.  You seem to know my name, but I don't know
yours," Joey said.

He expected the man to tell him his name, but instead the stranger said,
"It's not important for you to know my name."  Obviously he had no
intention of giving Joey that information.

"Have it your way," Joey said.  "I'll just call you Rumpelstilskin."  Joey
turned to the bartender and ordered a fresh beer for Rumpy and a scotch and
soda for him.  He then turned back to the older man and asked, "How is it
you know my name and so much about me?  I'd really like to know."

"I can read it in your face.  You are basically a lonely man, Joey.  You
have few friends and except for Yuri, you never see a trick twice.  I can
see it all just by looking into your eyes."

"There you go again," Joey said.  "How do you know about Yuri?"

"None of your business," the stranger answered, and now Joey was beginning
to get frightened.

"Yuri is the best thing that ever happened to you.  I just know you'll let
him slip away and you'll end up a lonely old man like me."

"Nonsense," Joey said.  "I have plenty of friends and I'm not lonely, nor
will I ever be."

"Why do I have to repeat myself?" Rumpy asked.  "You know damn well that
you have a few acquaintances, but no real friends.  If you had half a brain
you would see that Yuri is a good friend.  Why he even stayed overnight
with you so you wouldn't be alone on your birthday.  You surely know that
went against his philosophy also, but he did it for you.  And if that isn't
enough, he's the best lover you ever had.  When he sucks your cock, you
envision that Paradise must be like that.  Don't even try to deny it."

Joey got up to leave.  He had enough.  "You're crazy old man and I don't
have to listen to this garbage."

"Don't bother to leave," the stranger said.  "I was just leaving.  Thanks
for the drink."  He got up and left so quickly that he left Joey stunned.
He took a sip of his cocktail and tried to make sense of what had just
happened.  As he was musing, another older man shuffled in and sat down in
the spot vacated by the stranger Joey had been talking to.

"A martini," the man ordered.  Joey looked at the man and did a double
take.

My God, he thought.  That's what Yuri might look like in about thirty
years.

The man took a sip of his martini.  Then he laid his head down on his arm
and began to sob just as Rumpy had.  Instinctively Joey wanted to console
him just as he had tried to console Rumpy, but after his recent experience,
he decided against it.

After some time passed, the man raised his head and looked at Joey.  "What
kind of man ignores a crying man on Christmas Eve?" he asked.

"The kind of man who doesn't give a shit why you are crying," Joey
answered, making his voice sound as cruel as possible.  "I see that you are
going to tell me, whether I'm interested or not, so OK.  Why are you crying
and can I help?"

"No you can't help, but I'll tell you why I am so sad.  It's Christmas Eve
and I am all alone.  There's not a soul in the world I can share this
magical evening with.  When I was your age I was just like you.  I refused
to get involved.  I never slept with the same man twice.  Then I met
someone and I fell madly in love with him.  Unfortunately, he didn't want
involvement either, so I was afraid to tell him how I felt about him, and
after awhile we stopped seeing each other.  I continued my wanton ways
until my youth and beauty faded, and now I'm practically celibate.  I don't
care so much about that, but I care that I am so damned lonely."

"My heart bleeds for you," Joey said facetiously.  The truth is that the
man was too close to the truth of his own life, and Joey was distinctly
uncomfortable.  "I can understand that you didn't get involved with anyone,
but why don't you have any friends?"

"I was so busy avoiding a relationship I failed to realize the difference
between a friend and an avaricious lover.  God, I was such a fool," the old
man said.  "You seem determined to follow in my footsteps, you jerk," the
man accused Joey."

"Hey, stop it!  You have no right to talk to me that way," Joey hissed at
the man.

"I have every right, you moron," the man said.  He got up and left without
paying his bar tab.

"Did you see that?" Joey asked the bartender.  "That guy left without
paying his bill."

"What man?" the bartender asked.

"The guy I was just talking to," Joey shouted at the bartender.

"No need to yell, dude.  There has been nobody in here but you and me since
you came in.  I just served you your last drink.  I think you have had one
too many."

Joey was about to protest when a voice inside him seemed to tell him to
cool it.  He took what remained of his drink to a small corner table and
tried to make sense of what had just happened to him.

I have just met two guys who could be me and Yuri 25 or 30 years down the
pike.  They are old and miserable and very, very lonely.  Is this an omen,
a portent of how our lives will be someday?  No, no, it can't be.  It's too
sad.  I don't want to be like those guys.  Dear God, don't let me end up
like that.

Joey felt his shoulder being shaken vigorously.  He had fallen asleep.

"Look buddy," he heard the bartender say.  "It's almost 8 o'clock.  We're
closing for the holiday.  I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Oh God," Joey whined.  "I've missed my date with Yuri.  Please God let him
still be home."  He paid the bartender and ran out and towards Yuri's
building.  When he got there, he rang Yuri's apartment and Yuri buzzed him
in through the front door.

Thank God he's home, Joey thought.  When he got to Yuri's apartment, Yuri
was standing at the door waiting for him.

"I was so worried," he said.  "What happened to you?  Why didn't you answer
your cell phone?"

Joey wasn't sure how he could explain what happened to him so he removed
Yuri's present from his coat pocket, and threw his coat on a chair.  His
eyes met Yuri's and he began to cry like a baby. Yuri wrapped his arms
around his crying friend.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Yuri asked.

Sweetheart!!!  Yuri called him sweetheart.  Joey cried even harder.  Yuri
held him tighter.

It took Joey awhile to get control of himself.  "I can't explain anything,"
he said, "but I have something to say to you.  After I say it, you can kick
me out if you'd like, but if I don't confess something to you, I'll never
forgive myself."

Joey was still clutching Yuri's gift in one of his hands so Yuri took his
other hand and led him to the sofa.  The two men sat down.

"It sounds very serious," Yuri said.  "Go ahead."

Joey did not mince any words.  He was afraid he would lose his courage if
he did.  He took a deep breath and said, "Yuri I love you.  I haven't been
with any one else since my birthday.  I don't want to be alone any more.  I
want to be with you.  I want to go to sleep with you, and wake up with you
and make love to you every single day and night for the rest of my life.  I
need you so much to share my life with me.  Even if you don't feel the same
way, I'm glad I told you."

Yuri was still holding Joey's free hand and he squeezed it hard.  "You
jerk," he said.

He's rejecting me, Joey thought.  No! The old man who looked like Yuri, he
called me a jerk also.

"I guess you'd like me to take off and disappear forever," Joey said.

"No, you moron, (the old man called Joey that too) I want you to stay.  I
want you to stay with me forever.  I feel the same way you do, but I
thought that if I admitted it to you, you would run away, and I didn't want
to risk not ever seeing you again."

"I feared the same thing," Joey said.  He wanted to embrace Yuri but he
still held Yuri's Christmas present in his hand.  He thrust it at Yuri.
"Merry Christmas," he said.

"I got you something too," Yuri said.  He ran to the server in the dining
room and retrieved a package.  It was identical to Joey's and also came
from Bloomingdales.  They both ripped open their packages and broke out
laughing.  Each had given the other an identical pair of kid gloves.  The
note in Joey's gift read, With affection, Yuri.

Finally they embraced and both started sobbing.  "What gave you the courage
to tell me that you wanted me forever?" Yuri asked.

"I'll tell you all about in the morning after we've made love a hundred
times."

"That's a deal," Yuri said.  "I didn't think there would be any restaurants
open this evening, so I made us dinner, but I think it's spoiled by now."

"I know a Chinese restaurant close by that's open really late.  I'll bet
they don't close on Christmas Eve," Joey said.  They grabbed their coats
and ran to the restaurant which was still open and very crowded.  They were
seated in the last remaining booth and the waiter handed them menus.
Service was a bit slow so Joey took the opportunity to look around.  Seated
at a small table, in a corner of the restaurant, were the two men he had
encountered at the bar.  They were smiling at each other and were not
embarrassed to hold each other's hands in public.  They looked over at Joey
and smiled.  One of them mouthed the words, thank you.  Then they both
disappeared and the table was empty.

Joey wanted desperately to tell Yuri about his Christmas miracle, but he
figured this was not the time.  All he wanted to do was eat dinner and make
love to Yuri all night long, and all day tomorrow, and every day after
that, forever and ever.