Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 06:53:12 -0000
From: Paul <yvonneva@hotmail.com>
Subject: A New Beginning - Chapter 14

A New Beginning - Chapter Fourteen

This is a fantasy story involving male to male relations.  If reading
stories like this is something you don't want to be doing, or it is illegal
where you are, I'd suggest you leave.  I'd also be wondering what you're
doing in the Gay Male section!! If it IS something you want to do then read
on.

This is a fantasy and condoms are not used.  In the real world you should
always practice safe sex.

Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or
in any other manner without this header and without the express, written
consent of the author (Paul - yvonneva@hotmail.com).  Copyright 2001.

I now have a mailing list for new updates, so if you'd like to be notified
when the next chapter goes up then drop me a line.  If you are supposed to
be on that list and you didn't get notification then please let me know.
Email me (Paul) at yvonneva@hotmail.com


In our last episode.....


When Trevor spooned around me it felt wonderful, feeling the length of his
body against me, his chest hair against my back, and this intense heat
source nestled against my butt.  I snuggled back into him, trying to shut
out the world and all it's memories.  I concentrating on the fact that I was
here with Trevor and wrapped up in his loving arms, my shield against the
world outside.

Tonight, I slept easier.


<A New Beginning - Chapter 14>

I opened my eyes slowly, leisurely surfacing from sleep.  My familiar
bedroom wall stared right back at me.  I drowsily rolled over and snuggled
up to Michelle, nestling my morning hardon against her hip and lazily
caressed her, testing the water to see if she was waking and maybe in the
mood.

As my hand encountered chest hair it took a moment for the texture to
register.  My eyes snapped open and my next reaction was to leap out of bed
with a curse.

"Who the fuck are you, and where's Michelle?" I yelled, trying to find
something to use for self-defence.

As soon as I had said it, reality started to set back in.  The events of the
past months flooded into my mind and I started shaking uncontrollably.  I
started to black out from shock and the sudden change from lying down to
standing up (you know how it is when you get up too quickly).  In an instant
Trevor was holding me, stopping me from falling.  As I struggled to regain
equilibrium I clung to him, my mind gradually restoring order to its chaos.

I finally got my shaking under control and looked into Trevor's eyes.

"I'm sorry Trev.  For a moment I didn't know what was happening.  Waking up
and seeing my own bedroom wall was so familiar that I momentarily forgot
what had happened.  I'm sorry!"

"I understand." said Trevor with a quick hug, "It's like at the restaurant.
Everything seems so familiar that your mind returns to it's usual routine.
No offence taken.  Maybe I should sleep in the spare room for a few days to
let you get used to it.  You just plain don't associate me with here."

"No!  Don't do that." I responded quickly. "I want you beside me.  It is
going to be strange to wake up in my own bed without her, but I'll get used
to it.  As you say, the routine fooled me.  I am SO sorry."

"Hey," crooned Trevor, "Don't apologise for a perfectly normal reaction.
It'll take some time to get used to it.  There are too many things here to
remind you, I can't expect you to accept it all in one go.  Now, how about
we get some breakfast to settle you down.  You look like you could use
something to counter the shock."

I nodded.

"So how does it feel to find that your wife has suddenly grown chest hair?"
he continued mischievously, "Bit of a shock eh?"

I grinned weakly at him, still coming to terms with the whole event.  It had
seemed like just another normal morning until I felt the chest hair.  It had
felt like Michelle's death just had been a terrible dream.  I felt the tears
start to burn my eyes again and I turned away.  Trevor immediately grabbed
me from behind in a bear hug.

"It's OK Babe." he murmured quietly into my ear, "It just takes time.
You'll get used to me being here, I don't intend to leave anytime soon, but
you'll have to face all the memories again.  I'm here whenever you need a
hug."

I turned in his arms and hugged him fiercely, trying to convey my thanks in
the action.  After a few moments he released me and we headed for the
kitchen where I started to grab cereal and bowls and stuff.  Doing the
menial tasks associated with breakfast helped me ground myself and I was
soon feeling a lot better.  Maybe the food helped a little too.

"I really AM sorry it happened Trev," I said as we finished the last
mouthfuls of cereal, "but I can't promise it won't happen again.  She is
everywhere here, and it's like the last few weeks on the Goldcoast never
happened.  That's why I was in such a mess yesterday.  I just plain couldn't
handle it alone.  You would not believe how glad I am that you are here!"

"I think I get the basic idea." he said, leaning across the table and kissed
me gently.  I returned the kiss passionately, hungrily, with an almost
desperate need.  It wasn't going to be easy handling it all, but having him
there to support me meant that I would be able to get through it.  Alone it
would have been hell.

As we cleared up the dishes Trevor asked me what was on the agenda for
today.

"Well." I said, "I figure that now that you're here I really should show you
around the city.  I think it's going to be nice showing you all the touristy
things.  We rarely went to any of them over recent years.  I suppose that in
your own city you know it so well that you never do the tourist thing.  It's
been years since I've been to the National Gallery or Parliament House.  It
should be fun."

"Oh yeah," I continued. "and perhaps we should get some food to restock this
place.  I let things go a little after......"  I broke off, trying not to
face those thoughts again.

"Well the pantry is a little empty anyway." I mumbled in a stilted attempt
to end on a better note.

"Sounds good to Me." responded Trevor a little over-cheerfully "I'm going to
hop in the shower and then you can show me this here town!  You can come
wash my back if you like?"

"Could be arranged" I said, grinning at him. "Although if we do that we
might never get out to see the city."

"Promises! Promises!" Trevor chuckled as he headed down the hallway towards
the bedroom and ensuite.  After rinsing the last dish I followed him,
looking forward to the day ahead.  It really HAD been a long time since I'd
done the tourist rounds.  You just never seem to get a chance when it's your
own home town.  It should be a good day.

Joining Trevor in the shower cleared away all the residue of the morning's
fright, although we did little more than wash each other and hug.  By the
time we'd finished showering, dressed and were ready to head out, I was
feeling much more refreshed and relaxed.


                        ********************


Canberra in autumn is rather stunning.  There are a lot of trees in the
city, many of which are deciduous.  In autumn most of these go through
changes in the most wonderful shades of red and yellow, mixing with the
olive and grey-green of the native gums.  Particularly in the parks around
the lakes the deciduous trees are prevalent, making the views across the
lakes stunning as the various colours are reflected in the water along with
the glorious eggshell blue of the autumn sky.

Having been on the Gold Coast for the last while, I'd missed the gradual
colouring of the leaves.  Even as we drove to the local supermarket for food
supplies I noticed the difference, seeing all the colour around me that
wasn't there when I left.  When I left it was hot and dry, now in a few
short weeks the temperature had dropped and you could feel winter around the
corner.  However it certainly wasn't cold yet, and as we drove home from the
supermarket I enjoyed the gloriously clear weather, almost like Canberra was
welcoming me home.

After we had restocked the house with supplies we headed out sightseeing
with the top down on the S2000, enjoying the sunshine and the wind in my
hair.  Now why didn't I ever buy a convertible?

As Trevor drove us towards the city centre we followed one of the roads that
skirted along the north side of Lake Burleigh Griffin, the city's oldest
lake.  Looking across the lake as we drove both Trevor and I were struck by
the beauty of the scenery, Trevor as a first time viewer and myself seeing
it again but without having seen the gradual change of previous years.
Seeing the beauty of it, and Trevor's admiration, I changed the order of our
day, directing Trevor to take us to one of the lakeside parks for a stroll.

Commonwealth Park is not far from Parliament House.  In spring it is a riot
of flowers as it hosts the Floriade floral display which brings tourists to
Canberra from all over the country.  In Autumn the flowering bulbs are gone
but the leaves on the trees have coloured and are starting to fall and you
can look across the lake at Parliament House, the National Gallery, the
National Library and the Science and Technology Centre, all framed by
various trees both native and introduced.  The effect gives a wonderful
backdrop to the modern architecture which, when seen from Commonwealth Park
across the lake, produce stunning reflections.

Walking with Trevor through the park I was reminded again of how beautiful
my city was.  As he pointed out things he saw I looked at them like I was
seeing them for the first time.  Him being a gardener certainly coloured his
perceptions as he pointed out and named the trees as we walked by them,
commenting on how beautifully the colours came out in the colder climate of
Canberra.

We wandered for around an hour, following the paths through the park and
around the ponds adjoining the lake.  We lay for a time on a grassy slope,
looking up at the sky and trying to find shapes in the clouds.  I felt like
a child again, just enjoying the time I was spending with Trevor and not
worrying about anything.  It just felt so natural.  A few times I caught
myself reaching for his hand as we walked and I had to remind myself that I
was no longer anonymously on the Gold Coast.  It brought me back to reality
a little, but I stored the thought for the time being and just tried to
enjoy myself.  I found it a little amusing just how used to holding Trevor's
hand I'd become, something that I never would have thought of doing a few
short months ago.  I had to chuckle to myself as I thought about my
reactions if I had been told a few months ago that I would be walking
through a park wanting to hold hands with a guy, let alone waking up in his
arms in the morning.

By the time we had finished our walk I was feeling decidedly surreal.  Given
that I was now back in Canberra it just seemed so strange to be walking
peacefully through these familiar surroundings on a glorious autumn day with
a guy who I had to stop myself from holding hands with or hugging and
kissing.

As we made our way back to the car Trevor must have noticed my detachment
(or he had noticed it all along but had not drawn attention to it before) as
he said quietly.

"You alright Babe?  You seem a little... elsewhere... right now.  You OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine." I said, chuckling to myself, "Just thinking about the fact
that I'm walking through these parks that I've grown up with, with a stud
that I want to grab and kiss so desperately but I'm afraid to do so because
someone might see us.  I never had to think like that when we were up North.
  No-one knew me up there so we didn't need to be so circumspect.  Now it's
a whole new ballgame."

We hopped into the car and sat as I continued.

"I suppose that this morning I've just forgotten all the troubles I have,
just enjoying the time with you seeing my city through new eyes.  I felt
like a child again, free of responsibilities and cares.  I suppose when I
realised that I started to look at what I'm really going through.  I got so
wrapped up in falling in love with you that I never thought about what would
happen when I returned home.  Now what the hell do I do?  How does one go
about informing friends that one has a boyfriend?"

I sighed, looking across at Trevor who'd I'd been avoiding eye contact with
for the whole conversation.  He was staring intently at me, his love and
caring so obvious that I threw caution to the wind and leaned across and
kissed him briefly.  He and placed his hand over my hand, which was resting
on my right knee, and gave it a squeeze.

"Just remember," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Whatever
happens I love you!  I am here for you through the good times and the bad.
Whether I move here or you move to the Gold Coast, I WILL be there whenever
you need me.  Everything around you may change, but you can count on that
one constant.  I love you dearly!"

I felt tears well up inside me again.  Boy was I becoming a sap.  I rested
my head on Trevor's shoulder for a moment with a sigh, hoping no-one was
watching, but needing it so much that I didn't really care.

"I love you too Trev, you know that.  I'm just starting to get an inkling of
the whole idea of 'coming out' to friends.  Sort of starting to understand
some of those stories that I've read about on the Net.  The thought never
really comes up when you're falling in love, only surfaces once you're well
and truly hooked."

I straightened up and sighed again.

"However!  I have no regrets having met you as I love you too much for that.
  I might not be rushing out and telling all my friends about you
immediately, but I'm not going to let their possible reactions hurt you...
hurt us!  I think things are going to be a bit rocky for a while, and maybe
having your place up in the Gold Coast is going to be a savior if we need to
flee, but YOU are my partner now.  I love you too much to ever let you go."

I looked around self-consciously and then quickly kissed Trevor, telling him
he'd have to make do with that until we were somewhere more private when I
could make it up to him.  He just grinned and told me he'd hold me to that
promise.  As he started the car and we backed out of the carpark I felt like
I'd accomplished something, making a start on fitting Trevor into my
Canberra picture.  I was SO glad that we'd started with this visit to the
park as I felt so much better for it.

As we headed back out onto the road I could feel a great big goofy grin
spreading over my face.  I howled into the wind, surprising Trevor so much
that he swerved on the road.  As he looked across at me with concern he
broke into a smile and shook his head, realising that I'd accepted things
and was feeling much better.  I reached across and ruffled his hair like he
was a little kid, then trailed my hand down the back of his neck and along
the arm closest to me.  I might not be able to openly kiss him, but there
were still ways of showing him I was thinking of him.  With a last squeeze
of his arm I released him, howling into the wind again.  This time he kept
his eyes on the road, but broke into a wider grin.

Both of us grinning like idiots, we headed for Parliament house and the rest
of the tourist traps that we had planned for the day.


<To be continued>

Thanks everyone for your continuing emails of support.  Makes it worthwhile.

I hope this chapter was worth the wait!!

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