Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:48:53 -0400
From: M N <vngam@hotmail.com>
Subject: gay/beginnings/not-a-matter-of-choice/not-a-matter-of-choice-9

All of these events are true.  I have done my best to make the story
accurate, using my journals as a reference.  I have added meaningful
dialogue to the best of my memory.

Not a Matter of Choice

Chapter 9: Finding my soul mate

On a Friday night in November 1998, my friends coerced me to go to the bar
with them.  I was a homebody in general, not really enjoying going to smoky
bars, gay or straight.  Since we were in the buckle of the Bible Belt, so
to speak, there was only one gay bar around in a three-hour driving radius.
I happened to live in the town the bar was located, so it wasn't a far
drive for us to go.  I just didn't enjoy doing it all that much.  I'm
fairly allergic to alcohol, so drinking wasn't something I did very often.
I lack that enzyme crucial to processing the stuff before it builds up to
toxic levels in the blood.  Most people can process about a drink an hour.
Not me.  It's kind of funny actually.  After not even half a beer (which I
absolutely hate drinking) or glass of wine (which I like a bit more), my
face gets beet red.  I look like I've had a bad sunburn, and my eyes get
bloodshot.  If I keep on drinking, my heart goes from a resting rate of
around 60 to around 140.  More alcohol causes my skin to itch.  And the few
times I've been foolish to continue after all of that, I develop hives all
over my body.  I've never in my life been drunk or even had a buzz because
I don't particularly enjoy the side effects of imbibing.  Add to that my
aversion to spending a lot of money on alcohol, and that makes me a very
cheap date.

That particular night, I somehow was persuaded to go out.  I had semi-dated
a guy named Robert for a few months, but it didn't really work out.  I
enjoyed the sex, but I didn't really have feelings for him.  I also saw a
guy named Tim for a brief time, but he and I both agreed we weren't right
for each other.  So, was single, and although I wasn't looking for a
boyfriend or even a hookup, I didn't mind giving the dance floor a try.

When my friends and I got to the bar, it wasn't very crowded.  I noticed
this guy immediately.  He was hard to miss in a virulent canary yellow long
sleeve button-down shirt and tight fitting jeans, sitting at the bar
chatting with the bartender.  He seemed my height, with sandy blond hair,
thinning at the sides and coming to a widow's peak in the center.  I
thought he was really cute, but I wasn't one to go up to strangers and talk
to them.

My friends and I took a table near the dance floor.  We ordered some
drinks, and after a bit went onto the dance floor and gyrated to the club
beat.  I stole glances from afar of the guy in the yellow shirt while
dancing.  I don't consider myself a very good dancer, and I wasn't dancing
with anyone in particular, so I didn't stay on the dance floor for long.
As I was sitting at the table, I noticed that two of my friends had
gravitated to the cute guy and were flanking him making conversation.
Well, one of them seemed to be hitting on him.  Now that I had a reason to
go over there, I moved to the bar where they were at and slipped into the
conversation.

I held out my hand, and he shook it.  I introduced myself, and he replied,
"My name is Mike, pleased to meet you."  The four of us chatted amicably
about nothing, and one of the other guys suggested we all go out to dance.
The song was good and the beat catching, so all of us went onto the dance
floor.  That gave me a chance to study Mike more closely without seeming
like I was staring.  Mike had a narrow nose just the least bit bent down,
under cloudy blue eyes that seemed to change color with laugh lines on the
edges, a squarish jaw framing lips that were not too thick yet definitely
not thin.  I could see a small tuft of hair from underneath his tee shirt,
and arms that were covered with a thick mat of short straight brown hair
that just screamed to be played with.  With the hairs on his knuckles, all
the signs were obvious that Mike was a bear.  I thought he was adorable.

After a while of dancing, I finally got enough nerve to tell him that I
thought he was pretty cute.  And he said the same.  After that song was
over, we went back to the table, sat down, and talked.

"So, are you a drug dealer?"  Mike asked, half jokingly.

"What?"

"Are you a drug dealer?  I noticed you had a pager on."

"Oh, that," I said, as I put my hand to my pager.  "Well, I'm sort of a
drug dealer.  I'm a doctor."

Mike's eyes widened.  "Get out of here!  Are you serious?  You're a
doctor?"

"Yeah, kinda hard to believe, but I am.  I am in residency here in town.
What about you?"

"I live in a town two hours away.  I'm actually here to go to a training
conference for the Relay for Life.  I had the evening free, so I wanted to
go out, but I didn't really want to hook up with anyone.  A friend of mine
told me to just go to the bar, have a beer, chat with the bartender, maybe
dance a bit, and leave.  I never expected to find some people to connect
with here.  It's really nice."

"So do you live alone?"  I asked.

"I live alone, but my son spends every two weeks with me, and two weeks
with his mother.  So part of the time I'm by myself, and the other part,
Max is with me."

"You have a son, huh?  That's great!"  Mike seemed surprised that I was
genuinely interested in him and his son.

"Yeah, Max is a great kid.  He's six now.  My ex-wife divorced me two years
ago and moved in with a female lover.  We share custody of Max, and he
spends two weeks with me and two weeks with her and her girlfriend, who I
despise."

It was obvious that Mike thought the world of his son Max and was willing
to prioritize his time accordingly.  I thought his life story was so
interesting that I wanted to hear more.  He gave me his hotel and room
number and invited me over afterwards.

We all danced a good bit after that, and we all just had a blast cutting up
and acting silly.  I egged my friend Mark to take his shirt off so it would
give me an excuse to do the same, but neither one of us did it.  I was
having such a good time that the clock ticked away, and I tried to ignore
the fact that I had to get up at 6:30.  It wasn't until after 2:30 that we
left, and I didn't get home until 3:30 AM.

As I was driving home, I wrestled with whether or not to go see Mike.  I
knew if I did, we would end up in bed together, and what I really wanted
was to talk and get to know him better.  Not that I would have minded
jumping into the sack with him.  But, it would have been a rush job, and I
wouldn't have gotten any sleep for a big Saturday day.

So, when I got home, I called him to tell him I wasn't coming over and why.
Mike was a bit disappointed, but he really respected my decision.  We did
end up talking on the phone until past 4:30 AM though, and we made plans to
get together Saturday evening and have him stay over at my place since he
needed to check out of his room Saturday morning.

I got a call from Mike Saturday evening, and he came over to the house and
hung out for a while.  I had some DC Talk playing on my stereo, and Mike
wanted to know what the group was.  When I told him, he was excited because
he had heard one of their songs on mainstream radio, but he didn't know
anything about them.  He was quite surprised to find out they were a
Christian group.  We hung out in my room for a while before going to
dinner, talking a bit more about Mike and his 11-year relationship with his
now ex-wife as well as his son Max.

Mark had invited the two of us over to Robert's house for dinner, as he was
cooking.  We all had a very good time, and everyone, especially Robert, was
very friendly and easy going.  The food was wonderful, and we were all
stuffed, so I invited Mike for a walk around the neighborhood to burn off
some of the calories we had consumed.

It was a cold November night, so I was wrapped up in my jacket.  We walked
out the front door together and walked down the street.  Mike looked around
and exclaimed, "Oh my god, I used to live here!"

"Really?"  I said.  "I didn't know you lived in this town.  I thought you
lived two hours away."

"I do now," Mike explained, "But I lived in this very neighborhood until I
was nine or so when my father moved the family to the town we're in now.
In fact, this road we're on is named after the florist business my dad
worked at and co-owned.  I used to bike all through this neighborhood with
all my friends."

"That's amazing that of all the places in the world, we would end up in the
exact neighborhood you grew up in."

"I know, it's incredible.  Let's go see if any of the same people are
here."  We walked through the neighborhood, and Mike pointed out houses his
friends used to live in.  Every now and then, Mike would put his arm on my
shoulder or stick his hands into my back pocket.  I also held his hand as
we walked.  I had never felt something so...comfortable before.  It was
like we had known each other forever and not just for a day.

After the walk and some dessert, Mike and I thanked everyone for inviting
us and headed out.  We didn't get back to my place until around 10 PM.  We
went back to my room and closed the door.  Mike sat at the desk while I put
on a favorite CD of mine: "Much Afraid" by Jars of Clay.  It was very
soothing music, and again Mike was surprised that it was a Christian band.

We decided to head to bed, so we both took our clothes off, keeping our
underwear on, and climbed into bed together.  It was a full sized bed, so
it had more room than a twin, but it wasn't spacious in the least bit.
Mike got in the bed first and was against the wall, while I followed him
into the bed.  As Mike was moving around to make himself comfortable, his
arm accidentally brushed up against my crotch.  I had an erection in my
underwear.  "Oh, sorry about that," he said.

"Why, is that a problem?"  I replied.

"Not for me," he answered.  Since I had a hard on, I was clearly at least
partially interested in some fun.  Actually, I was horny and really wanting
to have sex, but I didn't want to seem too pushy, seeing as how it was our
first date and all.  But Mike now knew I was into him, and he purposefully
fondled my cock.  I moaned my approval.  Mike made the first move and
slipped off my underwear, and then he followed suit.  He scooted down until
his face was level with my crotch.  He grabbed my cock and took it into his
mouth.  He pulled the foreskin off the head of my penis and rolled his
tongue around the exposed sensitive head.  Then he went down all the way to
the base of my cock and up again.

Of course I couldn't let him have all the fun.  I moved Mike off me and had
him lie back.  I took a moment to look at the sexy man in front of me.  He
had a slight grin on his face, and I leaned down and kissed him deeply.
Mike brought his hands to my head and ran his fingers through my hair.  I
moved my hands from his face and went down his arms to work my own fingers
into the thick hair covering his forearms.  They were so soft and so
definitely masculine, it turned me on.

I ran my hands through his hairy chest, down his abdomen, and into his
pubic hair.  Mike's six inch dick was lying flat on his stomach.  I pulled
his dick to my mouth and let the cut head slip past my lips and into the
back of my throat, letting the underside of his cock run along my tongue as
it was curled into a tube to provide a flesh chute for his throbbing cock.
"Hmm, that feels really good," he said.  I wanted to agree, but my mouth
was full.  I continued sucking him for a while until my mouth got tired,
then I jacked him off with my hand as I licked under his cock and balls.

"I want you to fuck me," Mike said.  I was of course happy to oblige.  Mike
got up and leaned over my bed, while I ran my fingers lightly over the
sides of his back and around his firm and slightly fuzzy glutes.  When Mike
was standing, the sides of his glutes dimple in and were incredibly
athletic appearing.  But bent over, his glutes rounded out and became the
picture-perfect bubble butt.  I couldn't wait to enter him.  I found a
condom in my desk and some lube in the drawer, and I put them on.  I
applied some lube to Mike's waiting hole and pushed my finger in to loosen
him up and get him lubed.  I then lined myself up and slowly pushed my six
and a half inch cock into his love tunnel.  "Yeah, that feels good.  Fuck
me, Minh."  I didn't respond verbally and just continued to push in and
out, pulling almost all the way out until only my cock head was inside and
then pushing in all the way until my pubes were in his crack and my balls
were slapping on his skin.  We continued in that position for several
minutes and decided to switch position.  I pulled out of Mike and he stood
up.  He walked over to the wall near the door, and I got a perfect view of
Mike's best assets: his firm bubble butt and his killer legs.  He had the
absolute sexiest calves I have seen on a guy.  I learned later that it was
from many years as the only white boy on the track team doing sprints and
high jump.  Mike leaned against the wall and called me over.  I guided my
steel-hard cock back into him and grabbed each side of his hips as I thrust
in and out.  As I looked down, I could see my cock sliding in and out of
his hole, and it was a total turn on.  After all that sex, it didn't take
me much longer for the pressure to build.

"I'm going to cum," I told him.

"Yeah, I want you to cum inside me," Mike crooned.  I grunted and shook all
over as I released my sperm into the condom.  Even after cumming, I
continued to thrust in and out a few times more, milking the last of my
sperm from my tubes.

"Man, that was great!" I exclaimed.  He and I walked back to the bed, and
we collapsed on it.  I took off the condom from my wilting dick and threw
it into the trash.  Mike lay back into the bed, and he beat off with his
right hand as I sucked and licked his nipples.  After a few minutes, his
pace increased noticeably and his breathing got heavier.  At the last bit
before his climax, Mike slowed his stroke down, and cum shot from his piss
slit to land on the pillow.  The second shot buried into his chest hair,
and the third his mid abdomen.  He continued shooting after that, but with
weaker spurts.  He came a lot!

After we both came, we snuggled in bed.  Although the sex was great, that's
not the part I enjoyed the most.  It was the intimacy and closeness and
affection that were truly wonderful.  More than anything, I loved holding
Mike in my arms and feeling his arms around mine.  The conversation and
talking was also great.  He kept on asking if things were ok for me,
concerned that I was pleased.  I could really tell that he cared for me.
The morning came too quickly, and it was time for Mike to go back and for
me to go to work.  Before Mike left, I made him an origami flower as a
parting gift.  It was a glorious weekend.

Monday night Mike called me, and we talked for almost two hours.  We
discussed what we saw in each other and some of the difficulties of the
relationship.  We lived two hours away.  Neither Mike nor I were out to our
families.  Mike's relationship with Max might be an issue.  And I was busy
with my residency.  We both wanted to try to make it work out though.  We
talked until I started falling asleep while on the phone.  Before he hung
up though, he said those fateful words: "I love you."

Tuesday night we talked again for another two hours.  Some time in the
middle of the conversation, I decided I would surprise him with a visit.  I
began asking some circumspect questions about the town he lived in and
where he worked.  I packed a gift for him and some toys for Max, and I
thought about how I was going to work everything out.  I was so hyped about
the trip that I couldn't sleep all night.

Wednesday, after morning rounds, I asked a colleague if she would please
see my patients in the afternoon.  I headed out of town at 2:30 pm and
arrived at Mike's work at 4:30 pm.  When I walked in the door and Mike saw
me, he was more than surprised, but he couldn't show it because of the
people around.  So we found an out-of-the-way place and hugged and kissed.

"How did you find out where I worked and get here?"  He asked.

"Well, I decided to come visit you last night, so I started asking some
questions.  Then I used mapquest to get directions.  It really wasn't that
hard, and the drive was beautiful."

"I was wondering why you were asking questions about where I worked and
what town it was in," he mused.  "I was so surprised to see you, I almost
fainted."

It was getting close to quitting time, so I hung out at the office until
Mike was ready to go.  He drove to the elementary school to pick up his
son, and I followed.  He introduced me to his son as his friend Minh, and
Max and I shook hands.  We drove back to Mike's apartment, and the three of
us spent some time together.  I gave Max his toys, which he played with.
Mike and I decided to go swimming at the community pool, so Mike called up
his parents to see if they would be willing to watch Max for a bit.  They
agreed, so we drove to Mike's parents' house, and I met them.  Of course,
they didn't know anything about our relationship other than the fact that I
was Mike's friend.  They were very friendly.  Well, Mike's mother was
friendly, and his father was quiet, but by no means unfriendly.  (I wonder
if it would have been different if Mike had introduced me as his
boyfriend.)

We got to the rec center and swam around for a bit.  Afterwards, we necked,
fondled, and held each other underneath the showers.  It was so fun because
it was semi-forbidden.  As I was holding Mike, I kept thinking how Chuck
would never have done anything like that with me!

After we dressed and picked up Max from the grandparents, we headed back to
Mike's apartment.  Mike and I hadn't had dinner yet, and we were both
hungry from our swim, so we decided fix up some stir fry.  It was funny,
but the whole situation was so _domestic_, so comfortable.  We were like a
couple fixing dinner with a six-year-old kid in the living room playing
with his toys.  Every now and then, I would come up behind Mike, put my
head on his shoulders, and stick my hands into his pockets.  And then he
would lean back and rest his head on mine.  I think it was those silent
shows of affection that really turned me on.

Mike read a story to Max while I lay curled in his bed next to Max.  Every
once in a while, he would reach out and ruffle my hair.  Eventually, Max
went to sleep, and Mike and I got to spend some time alone.  So, we crawled
into Mike's bed and cuddled.  There wasn't much sex involved, but there was
a whole lot of hugging.  I was too tired for anything but sleep, but I woke
up in the middle of the night, finding my head nestled in the crook of
Mike's arm and his hand rubbing my chest affectionately.

Too soon, it was time for me to leave and make the two hour drive back, and
neither one of us wanted that to happen.  But all good things must come to
an end.  Luckily it was a temporary ending.  Mike and Max made plans to
come to town for the weekend.

I learned later that when I came by that Wednesday to Mike's work, he fell
in love with me then.