Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 23:41:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: Blue OConnor <ladylovey4@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Perfect 4

	Hey there, I'm putting this up faster than I thought I would but I
just started writing and couldn't stop.  "Thank you" to everyone out there,
who sent me such positive emails, you made me smile.  I'll try to keep on
writing as long as you keep on enjoying it.


Perfect


~ Chapter 4 ~


Flashback Gabriel's POV


	"How dare you?" yelled the voice.

	"M-om, what?" Her hand came out of nowhere, smacking me on the
lips.  Cupping my bleeding lip I stared at her in wide-eyed horror.

	"You didn't think I saw, did you?" she ranted.

	"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, tears running
down my face.

	"I saw you in bed with him, you little freak," she spat.
 
	"Saw me with who?" I said quietly.  Deep down I knew what she was
talking about.  This morning I crept out Connor's room without anyone
knowing.  At breakfast however she had been weird, every minute turning to
look at me as if I was a germ she couldn't get rid of.  She sent me to my
room as soon as I came home from school, and brought Connor next door to
play with the neighbor's kids.  Now she stood in front of me, eyes flashing
with hatred, chest heaving with her every breath.  Oh God she knew, I
thought to myself, she knew and she despised me for it.  She always hated
any weakness in me.  "You have to be better Gabriel, better than anyone
else or you'll be nothing and nobody will ever want you."  She always told
me this, if I got less than perfect on a test or assignment.

	"You crept into bed with him, didn't you? You little faggot do you
really think I'll let you ruin what I've worked for my whole entire life?"

	"I-I-I didn't do anything Mommy, he had a nightmare."  I pleaded
with my eyes for compassion, understanding anything resembling feeling a
mother should have for a son.

	"Don't lie to me.  I knew you were queer the moment you came out of
my womb.  Your father and his family did this to you, passed their
disgusting genes onto you, God knows you couldn't have gotten this from
me."

	I couldn't believe the vicious words that were coming from her
mouth.  I just stood there hoping this was a horrible dream I was having
and I would wake up any minute.

	"Did you really think I would let you corrupt him?" she yelled.

	"I would never hurt Connor Mom--y," She slapped me again, hard.
Knocking me to the ground.

	She bent down to look into my grief stricken eyes.  "I'm not your
mother.  You're a defective seed, implanted into my body.  I kept you
around because your father, the bastard, left all the money to you.  I
don't need you now and I want you gone."

	No, No, No she didn't mean that I said to myself.  She was just
angry.
	
	"I'm sorry, I'll do better I promise."

	"Ha, nobody but your father could stand you.  I don't want you."
She said.

	"Where will I go? I have nowhere else to go." I cried

	She stood up, brushed off dust from her pristine pink dress.  "A
private boarding school, in France, where I won't have to see you, except
for Christmas and March break.  I suggest you find something to do in the
summer because you're not welcome here for that amount of time.  God knows
what you would do to poor Connor."  She threw a pamphlet on my bed and
walked out

	I lay there curled up into a ball, praying I would die.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Present Day- Gabriel's POV



	Gabriel sat in the back booth of Kinkird's, a dark pub catering the
Brampton locals. Toronto had always been too busy for me, so instead of
living in the city, I moved to Brampton a district, where the population
was low, houses cheap and it was just a 20-minute drive into the city.  I
plucked a few fries from the greasy paper cradling what remained of my fish
and chips, then washed them down with the last swallow of draft in my mug.
Signaling to Joe, the bartender, for another I returned my attention to the
paperwork spread on the table.  One of these days, I was gonna get into the
twenty-first century and get the business computerized, but for now, it was
all paper and ink, usually done in the evenings.  Mosaic Paints stayed too
busy for me to waste sunny days on something that could be taken care of
after dark.

	Joe plunked a frosty mug of beer on the table, sloshing a little
onto the payroll blotter.

	"Careful," I cautioned, grabbing a handful of napkins from a chrome
dispenser to soak up the beer.

	"Sorry Gabriel," Joe said absently.

	I gave an equally insincere nod as Joe turned and padded back
behind the bar.

	I wrote out the last few payroll checks, slipping them into a worn
leather satchel, but left the blotter out to dry.  I then started filling
out the week's invoices, most of which would go to O'Neil Builders, for
work on the newest condo development down on Forest Way.  I had never
wanted to take work from Connor's father's company because it felt too much
like taking handouts.  But after Doug O'Neil admitted that he hadn't known
it was my company he chose to paint his Condo's, I took the job.  Now most
of my business came from his company.

	Doug and I have been in contact almost 2 years now.  At first I
thought he would be react angrily towards me but after meeting with him for
lunch one day he put my fears to rest.

	"Your not responsible for your mothers actions Gabriel." He had
said.
 
	"I know I'm not but--" I drifted off, not knowing what I was trying
to say.

	"I know why she sent you away." He said quietly.

	My head snapped up, my expression on of horror.  "How could you
know?" I asked.

	"I overheard her a few months before I left, talking to one of her
friends about you.  I tried to help but I couldn't do anything without
custody of you.  Besides a father knows when his son is loved.  I just hope
you can someday tell him how you feel."

	"What if he doesn't want me?" I asked sadly.

	He came over to me, bending down to look me in the eyes.  "He's my
son and I love him but he's stubborn.  You'll have to be patient with him
but don't give up Gabriel, your deserve to be happy.  This is your chance,
don't be afraid to take it."

	The sound of glass shattering rose me from my revelry.  I looked
around trying to find where the sound was coming from.  Joe was looking at
me with an expression of distress. Looking down I realize that I was
clutching the broken pieces of my mug.

	"Sorry," I mumbled to Joe.  Dropping $40 on the table I grabbed my
stuff and headed out.  Jumping into my car I went home.

	Buying my 3-bedroom house had seemed like an extravagance when I
first bought it but I loved that house the minute I saw.  It sat in front
of a lake, with sprawling trees and wild flowers. I turned the barn into a
workshop where I built furniture on my spare time.  I loved making things
with my hands.

	Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I pictured living in this
house with Connor but you can't always get what you want I guess.

	I was glad, I'd gone today, glad I'd seen.  Glad that I wouldn't
waste anymore time on a hopeless dream.

	"Better a snob, than trailer trash." His smug words still crackled
through my veins and left me feeling subservient to him.

	No more, I told myself, as I crawled into bed naked, No more.  No
more thinking about him, it was time to move on with my life, to begin a
new chapter.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Connor's POV



	"Do you believe he actually came here?"  Connor seethed.

	"Sweetie don't you think your reading too much into this?"  Hunter
said softy.

	I spun around to face him, my expression incredulous.  As soon as
Gabriel left I immediately went over to Hunter's.  I needed some one to
talk to, some one to tell me how I was going to inform my dad of this new
development.  Some on to tell me I had done the right thing.  Never had I
treated anyone with such disrespect as I did Connor.  I felt ashamed I let
my angry get the best of me but I couldn't look at him and not remember
what hell my Dad went through.  The hell I was made to watch.

	"You're taking his side." I yelled.

	"Now I know you've lost your Damn mind.  I don't know this guy but
Connor why, No, how could you treat some one like that?" he asked, his
voice filled with disappointment.


	I look down at floor.  "His mother ruined my life."

	"Listen to what you just honey, his mother not him."  Hunter
stated.

	I walked over to the window, staring at setting sun.  "They can
never be trusted Hunter, after all I've been through, how dare you blame me
for not believing another lie."  I fumed.

	"He said this had nothing to do with his mother."  Hunter walked
towards me, touching my shoulder in comfort.

	"No." I declared, shrugging his hand away.  "They're up to
something and I'm going to find out what it is."  With that I turned my
heal and left the apartment


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	The drive to my father's house was torture.  Never had I thought I
would have to bring up her again.  This part of my life was supposed to be
over.  Pulling up to the 2 story Spanish style house that I lived in my
late childhood, I drew in a deep breath.  Grabbing my keeps I headed to the
door.

	"Dad," I called as I walked in.

	"In the study!" My father yelled back.

	Dad's study was a huge room, covered with dark mahogany
bookshelves.  A massive desk and leather chairs was centered in the middle
of the room.

	"I didn't know you were coming over." He said as I came in.

	"It was a last minute thing." I said.

	He looked up from his computer, and smiled.  Doug O' Neil was
handsome man for a 54-year-old.  His blond hair only contain a few silver
hairs, so light it was unnoticeable. His eyes reminded me of mine, so brown
they looked like chocolate.  He and I also shared the same built; the only
thing I had inherited from my mom was her hair and lips.

	"How's school?" He inquired.
	
	"It's cool."  I said, trying to build up the nerve to start the
conversation because I wasn't sure how my father is going to react.

	"You like the condo?"

	"Yeah, it's fine." I replied

	"What's up?" He demanded.
 
	"Why do you think something's up? Can't I just visit my father?"

	"Huh, Huh, Connor what's wrong?" His brow crinkled.

	Signing, I started to talk.  "Remember how I wanted to paint the
condo?"

	 "Yeah," He replied.

	"Well, I met the owner of the Paint Company this morning."  I said.

	"And?"

	"It's Connor Dad.  He showed up with some lame story about wanting
to let me know he was in the city."  Running a hand through my hair, I
started to pace.  "I think maybe his Mom put him up to it.  She probably
wants money."

	"Shit!" He exclaimed angrily.

	I threw myself down on a chair, glad to finally have someone who
could really see my side of the situation.

	"Don't worry I made it clear to him that we will never give him any
money Dad.  I don't think he's going to bother us anymore.  If he comes
around again maybe we should think about getting a restraining order.

	My dad sucked in a breath making me look up at him.  He sat there
staring at me with an incredulous expression.

	"You did what?" He asked in a whisper.

	"I told him off."  I replied hesitantly.

	"Oh, Connor, what have you done." He said, shaking his head in
regret.

	My temper exploded.  "I didn't do anything." I yelled.

	"Yes you did or you wouldn't be so angry.  Tell me what happened."

	For a half an hour I told the story, repeating every ugly word that
had passed through my lips.  My father didn't say anything after I
finished, just watched me.

	"I'm not sorry I did it." I whispered.

	"You have never gone out of your way to hurt anyone before, I can't
believe you would behave that way to your step-bro---"

	I cut him off.  "He's not my brother."

	"Ok, he's not you brother, but--"

	I cut him off again.  "NO, NO but's.  First Hunter and now you.
You of all people should understand what his family has cost you."

	"His mother did those things Connor."

	"Like mother like so--" I trailed off, taking a good look at my
dad.  There was no shock his face.  In fact he didn't look surprised about
this conversation at all.  That didn't make sense unless....

	"You knew he was here didn't you?" I accused.

	"Yes." he said.

	"And you didn't tell me, Why? Why would you protect him?"

	"Because I knew you would react this way, and I wanted to avoid
this ugliness."  He rubbed his eyes as if weary.

"My God, were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes, but I wanted Gabriel to be ready to do it" He said sadly.

	My mind was reeling.  He had been protecting Gabriel.  Protecting
him from me, as if I was some kind of monster.  I wasn't the monster in
this, Gabriel and his family were.  A money grubbing leech that sucked the
life out of my family once and I was never going to let that happen again.

	"I don't know how he's done it but he has you thinking he's a
saint.  You need to remember what she did to Nick.  How she destroyed him.
Do you want that happening again?"

	He whitened at my mention of Nick.  That name hasn't been mentioned
in this house in almost 4 years.

	"He's a good man Connor, just give him a chance."  Dad murmured.

	"Don't defend him to me."

	"I love you Connor, but your being an Ass.  Never can I say I was
ashamed of your behavior, until this day.  You have treated that man
abominably and what makes it was you don't feel remorse for it.  Badly
done, Connor, badly done."  Dad stated, shaking his head.

	"Come back when you've pulled your head from your ass."  With that
Dad, turned back to his computer.

	For a minute I couldn't contemplate what happened, but I quickly
recovered.  Angrily I slammed out of the house.

	As I walked to the car I looked up to Dad's study window.  The
shades fluttered and I knew he was there watching me.  Not wanting him to
see me shaken I quickly drove away.
 
	Lying in bed, later that night I began to relive all the
conversations that took place today.  The hardest for me was the one with
Connor.  I let my anger for his mother poison my judgement. I let it poison
me, turning me into some one I didn't recognize.  Tears fell down my face
as I recalled the look of displeasure on my father's face.

Oh God, What had I done?
	

To Be Continue....


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