Date: Sat, 16 Apr 2005 18:16:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: taarob <taarob@yahoo.com>
Subject: Protecting David - Alex's Story 1

This story is a work of fiction.  I love getting email and
if you would like to write to me you can at
billdrae2002@yahoo.com or if you'd like to see some other
things that I've written you can go to my web site at
http://www.mygaystories.com .


	     Protecting David - Alex's Story 1

                             Alex

It's funny, funny in a fucked up way, that life leaves these
little time bombs sitting in our brains, little nuclear
blasts from the past waiting to happen.

I was walking past David's office at home and heard Billie
Holiday singing on David's stereo system, David's a jazz
freak.  I'm not like totally into jazz but something in her
voice hit me, it was like an open wound, like the last
sounds she was going to make before her death.  I stopped in
the hallway near his office and listened as she slowly sang
the song, sang it like each word was much to much to bear.

"Darling, why stop and cling..
To some fading thing that used to be,
If you can forget,
Don't worry `bout me!"

And the time bomb went off.  It was a whirl of memories,
Tommy's dad calling Mark a fucking faggot, Mark putting his
fist through the wall next to Tommy's dad's head, Tommy
screaming and his dad telling us that we were never to see
each other again.  The look in Tommy's eyes, the fear.

They had to drag me back to our house kicking and screaming
and I had a huge fight with Mark and then did a really dumb
thing, a thing that I'll regret to my death.  I punched him
in the face.  It was like it was happening in slow motion.
I pulled my fist back and I could see on Mark's face that he
knew what I was going to do and at first he was surprised
but then he just accepted it and braced himself.  He could
have stopped it!  He's got the reflexes of a cat, he could
have grabbed my fist in midair!  He should have, he was
suppose to!  But he didn't, he saw what was going to happen,
accepted it and let it happen.  He staggered back against
the wall with the force of the blow but then recovered.
Then after a minute he just nodded at me like he understood
that I had to do that and then turned and walked to his and
David's bedroom.

I crashed out of the house and went running back to Tommy's
house and tried to get his dad to let me in but he just
swore at me, screaming that I was the faggot that had ruined
his son.  I called Tommy on his cell but he was crying
hysterically and hung up.  I ran around the house calling
his name.  Finally his dad called the cops and they escorted
me back to our house, one on each arm.  David was there by
then and he talked to the cops and they left.  He has that
ability, people in authority listen to him, everyone listens
to him.

I was past going nuts!  I was insane and somehow ended up
back in my bedroom crying like a little girl.  I've never
felt anything like it.  It was like major surgery without an
anesthetic.  It was insane pain.  It was curl up into a ball
and die pain.

For two years I've pushed that night out of my mind, not
that you can totally do that but I did a pretty good job of
it.  The next morning I was functioning, not well but
functioning.  Somehow I slept and when I woke up Mark was
sitting on my bed.  I looked at him and started to cry.
That's so fucking stupid!  When will I stop doing that?

I couldn't face him.  I couldn't look at him.  He took my
chin in his hand and turned my tear-streaked face to him and
said.  "I love you.  That will never change."  And then he
smiled.  "You really thought that you were taking me down
with that punch?"

And then I cried a-fuckin-gain!  This time Mark wrapped his
arm around me and pulled me to him.  He didn't say anything,
he just held me.

I went to school!  I fucking worked!  When I got tired and
started to think I worked harder.  I worked for David I
worked for Mark.  I cut the lawn, shoveled the snow, washed
the windows, anything and everything.  I did my regular
schoolwork and then with tutors I studied Spanish, French
and Mandarin.  I was already pretty good at them and German
but I wanted perfect and.....well I came close.  David gave
me dozens and dozens of books to read on economics and
business.  Emi sent me copies of all major European
newspapers and then called me and discussed what I read.  He
spoke to me in French, Spanish and German and drilled me
endlessly on the culture of the countries.

Jamie called me and discussed business in general and the
stock market in particular.  Would I mind reading this
article?  Could I get back to him with my thoughts on some
article in the Financial Times?  Drill, drill, drill.

I knew what they were doing and I approved.
Well......approved may not be the right word......I agreed.
And in time I figured that I had put it all out of my mind.
I was figuring that my head was so full of facts that there
was no room for anything else......and then came Billie
Holiday, a dead black lady and her raspy near death voice
and the dam broke, the bomb went off.  I fell back against
the wall of the hallway and slid to the floor......and
cried, cried the cry of the living dead, a wailing crying
scream that must have woken the dead in three counties.
Sobs racked my body and blurred my eyes, my life was a sea
of endless pain that went on like the Sahara.  Every horizon
spoke of pain and a endless sense of loss and remorse.  My
fists wiped what seemed to be endless tears from my face and
the sobbing was physically exhausting.

And then there were arms around me, David's arms.  A lot of
people think that Mark is the tough one but David makes him
seem like a walk in the park.....well in most ways.  If
there's violence likely to happen you want Mark.

David cried with me.....well at least for a while.  He's
like that, emotion has it's place but enough is enough.

Finally he said to me.  "He's gone.  You know that don't
you?  You won't get him back!"

I curled over and buried my face against David's chest.  His
body was small, slight but solid.  It was weird really, I'm
like a foot taller than David and much bigger all the way
around and yet here I am curled up against him.  We must
have stayed like that for more than an hour.

"Oh, God!  It's hurts so fucking much!  Why don't they tell
you this?  Fucking fall in love and don't even fucking know
about the pain!"

David stood up and looked at me.  "Alex!  As an Irishman
once told me, "Take a day to die and be done with it."  I
looked up at him still rocked with sobs.

He wasn't having any of it.  "Make up your mind that you
going to survive!  For one thing I won't let anything other
than that happen.  For another thing: when you meet someone
who's worth all this you've got to be ready."  That's
fucking tough!

He left and came back with a washcloth and towel.  He wiped
my face off, dried it and smiled.  "Fucking mess!"  He shook
his head slowly.  "You're not the only one that this has
ever happened to.  The world's full of wounded people."  He
stood up and pulled me with him.

"Come into my office.  There are things we have to decide."
As I stood there he turned to look at me.  "You're a mess,
go change you shirt, but step on it!"  Decide?  I could
barely think.  What the fuck did he want me to decide?

When I walked into David's office after changing my shirt he
gestured to a chair he had pulled up next to his.  "We've
got to decide on a college."

"College?  Shouldn't we wait for Mark?"  I just knew that he
was going to send me to some place on the other side of the
world for college.  I figured that if Mark was there I might
stand a chance.

David laughed.  "He wants you to go to school in the
basement.  No, you and I'll decide this and then we'll check
with Mark."  He was shuffling through a stack of papers and
books on his desk.  From time to time he'd push his hair
back out of his eyes.  David's hair is always going
just......well let's just say that it's unruly.  "If he
hates it.....well....we'll deal with that at the time."

Finally he found what he was looking for and leaned back in
his chair.  "You've been accepted everywhere that you've
applied and it was tempting to consider Europe but maybe
that would be a mistake.  Frankly I'm thinking Stanford."
He held up his hands.  "Think about it.  You've got Chris
and Jason out there.  You like them.  The school can't be
beat and you'll have a chance to see a part of the country
that you haven't spent much time in."

California!  Twenty-five hundred miles away, away from
Tommy.  Tommy?  I didn't even know where he was but I was
pretty sure that he didn't care.....for me anyway.  Did I
care for him or was it a memory of caring, a habit,
something that has lingered longer than it should have?
It's been two years, it's gotta stop.

David rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and then
looked at me.  "Hmmmmm.  You're eighteen," he smiled,
"virtually a man."  He got up and walked around his office
with his hand in his pockets.  He stopped and stared at me.

"I'm going to turn over some of your money to you.  You
manage it.  Let's see what you can do."  Me?  Is he nuts?

He laughed.  "Don't look at me like that.  You've gotta
learn sometime and you got all the resources in the world.
Just taking Jamie and Emi, between the two of them they know
more than all of the economics professors in the world.  Use
them!  Get them to recommend others.  It's not necessarily
what you know, it's networking, working together with people
you trust."  David leaned into my face.  "People you trust!"

Just what I needed, more pressure.

                    ----------------------------

David, Mark and I were standing waiting for our luggage in
San Francisco International Airport when Mark turned to me.
"We gotta get you a car."

David leaned over the carousel looking for our luggage and
then looked back at us.  "Something reliable like your Honda
at home."

I was about to object when Mark rested both of his arms on
my shoulders and stared into my face.  He smiled and spoke
softly.  "What kind do you want, Alex?"

I didn't waste any time.  "A BMW!"

David went rigid.  "A BMW?  I'm not buying a college kid a
BMW!"

It's weird, David will spend tons of money on anything but
cars.  He's not even slightly cheap with anything else but
cars make him nuts.  Mark smiled at him and David
immediately went silent.  "David, he's worked hard!  And no
drugs or booze."

Mark's right hand went to the back of my neck and squeezed
it gently.  "What model have you been drooling over?"

"Ahhh, the cheap one would be fantastic!"  I know when not
to push it.

David was mumbling to himself.  "The cheap one?  There's no
such thing as a goddamn cheap one."

Mark looked back into my eyes after smiling at David's fit.
"You'll have it before we leave, Alex.  Just don't wreck it
or you will never ever hear the end of it."  With Mark the
love and warmth are like a bonfire just radiating this
wonderful heat.  If Mark likes you you could roast
marshmallows on him.

Suddenly I hear people screaming our names and the three of
us turn to see Chris and Jason walking quickly towards us
with open arms.  I laughed from the sheer joy of seeing them
again.  Chris tall, blond, Jason a couple of inches shorter
with brown hair both guys thin but Chris maybe a little bit
beefier.  We're wrapped in warm familiar arms and finally
wisked off to their home west of Palo Alto.

Dinner that night was eaten off of the grill and on a patio
that was still warm from the days heat.  The smells of a
strange land washed over me, flowers, eucalyptus and maybe
the ocean thirty miles to the west.  Chris told me with
Jason smiling next to him about the first time that they met
Mark and David and how Mark had arranged for them to have
enough time alone to have sex even though Chris's father and
grandfather were out on our patio in Wisconsin.

The thought kept pushing itself into my mind that in two
days David and Mark would say goodbye to me at my dorm and
then I'd be alone and I'd be expected to be an adult.  I
wasn't ready.

Chris and Jason sat next to each other and even though they
were a settled couple who had been together for years the
bond between them was strong and obvious.

                    ------------------------

"You're roommate has already moved in."  David was looking
over at the other side of the dorm room.

I glanced at David and nodded yes.  "Looks like it."  I
continued hanging up my clothes in the half of the closet
that was clear.

Mark, looking over at my absent roommates half of the room
said.  "Nice computer.  One of the top Dell models, flat
panel monitor, nice."

"His waist is 32 inches."  This from David.

"Dad, how can you know that?"

David held up a pair of boxers.  "Hugo Boss, 32 inch.  That
tells us that he, or someone in his family likes high
quality brand names and is willing to pay for them."

"Dad!  Please put those down!  He could come in at any
second!"  Parents!

David walked over to the other side of the closet and looked
at the inside collar of a long sleeve shirt belonging to my
roommate.  "Size large, Land's End.  Interesting."

I looked at him.  "What interesting?"

David said.  "Hmmmm, narrow waist broad shoulders.  We
should check the inseam of his pants."

"Dad!  Stop!"  David looked at me and smiled.  "Dad, you
can't do that!"

"He could be short and dumpy.  A 32 inch waist on someone
six feet tall is trim, maybe he's 4'2" tall.  That would be
dumpy."  I groaned.

I looked at them both.  It was time.  "I'm going to miss you
guys."  I felt like crying but I wouldn't.

Mark walked over and wrapped me tightly in his arms. He
kissed my forehead.  "We're only an email away.  You've got
your car, your cell, your computer, a bank account, credit
cards and Chris and Jason."  He stroked my hair.  "You're
smart and kind and you've got common sense.  You'll be
okay."

David came over and touched my face with the back of his
fingers.  "Mark's right, Baby, you'll be fine.  Remember our
talk about friends and people that you can trust."  He
pulled my head down and kissed me.

And then they were gone.  A four hour jet flight and they'd
be back in Milwaukee living the life that they had always
lived except that I wouldn't be there.  Now I was an adult
bound on another voyage that, at least for a while would
take me inevitably away from them.  I felt alone and afraid.

                    -----------------------------------

Suddenly the door burst open and a really good-looking guy
was standing there looking at me.  He was about my height,
6'2" and appeared to be about my build too.  His hair was
dark brown where mine is blond but other than that we could
pretty much wear each other's clothes.  He was wearing faded
jeans with a well-worn crotch.  The tee shirt that he was
wearing was not designed to make me feel good.  It said
"Hopelessly Hetero!" in big black letters.

I didn't plan to say it it just came out.  "Oh fuck!"

He looked at me with puppy dog brown eyes.  "What?  What did
I do?"  He crossed the room in three strides and was pumping
my hand.  "I'm Larry Donovan!  I guess that we're roommates
but what the fuck did I do?  What's with the "Oh fuck?"

I nodded towards his chest.  Might as well get this over
with.  "My tee shirt says "Hopelessly Homo!"

He smiled at me.  "You're gay?"  I nodded. "Really?"  He
smiled again.  "That's cool!  Hey guy, it's not that I'm
like anti-gay or anything.  It's just that I want the chicks
to know what they're dealing with."  He grinned.  "Pays to
advertise!  Actually I wish more guys were gay, it'd
increase my chances." He paused. "Why?"  He looked a little
crestfallen.  "I guess the tee shirt's kinda tacky.  You
think that people would be offended?  You think that I
should wear something else?"

I smiled at him.  I liked the guy.  "Larry, I don't think
that they're gonna have any doubts about whether you're
straight or not.  Unless you wear that tee shirt."

Larry plopped down on my bed about a foot from me.  "You
didn't tell me your name."

I laughed.  "Sorry, we got sidetracked.  My name is Alex
Chauvet-Kerry."  I grinned.  "Sorry about the hyphenation."
We shook hands, his were big and dry.

He pushed himself up on the bed and leaned against the wall.
"That's cool.  Those two guys leaving when I came up were
yours?"

I nodded.  "Yep!  My dads, Mark and David."

Larry grinned.  "They looked like they worked for the FBI.
They ever smile?"

I laughed.  "They're worried about me being away from home.
Afraid that I might come under the influence of some
hetero."

He let it pass. "Lemmee ask you something.  You think that
you're gay because of them.  I mean, you know like seeing
them do gay stuff."  This guy had a way of totally getting
under my radar.  I'd known him for like thirty seconds and I
felt like I had known him for my whole life.

I laughed and leaned back against the wall myself.  Two guys
that had just met and still had the freedom with each other
that strangers have.  "They never did gay stuff.  Not,
anyway, if you're talking about sex and stuff.  They never
did that in front of me, just hugging, kissing, shit like
that.  It was pretty dull actually."

"So you just got to be gay all by yourself?"

"Born that way I guess."

"So have you got a boyfriend now?  Somebody waiting back
home?'

I really didn't want to talk about this and yet at the same
time I did want to talk about it.   "Nope.  I...I.....had
one a couple of years ago but things didn't work out.  How
about you?  A cute cheerleader someplace waiting to drop
into your arms."

He laughed and rolled onto his side facing me.  He probably
wasn't aware of it but when he rolled onto his side his cock
and balls made the trip too only at a more leisurely pace.
"There's been a few but that was back home.  Man, I need
something here!"  Then as if he were immersed in thought.
"Damn I love women!"  He rolled onto his back and sat up.
"We could go find some food.  Maybe we'll find a gay guy and
a straight girl together and we can both score."

I laughed.  "What if he's straight and she's lesbian."

He smiled in a slow almost southern way.  "Can I watch?"