Date: Thu, 27 Dec 2001 01:37:29 -0000
From: Andrew Ridal <andrewridal@supanet.com>
Subject: rest in pieces

REST IN PIECES
or
You only die twice

Andrew - 18 years old, Homosexual.
Tony - 17 years old, Andrew's first boyfriend
Michael - 21 years old, Andrew's second boyfriend
Heather - Andrew's best friend
Jen - A good friend of Andrew
Terry - Andrew's Father

The different scenes referred to are really just to break up the
monologue. The blackouts should really be no longer than about thirty
seconds.

Scene 1

The scene opens in a bedroom, with bed, desk with chair, easy chair, an
open chest and table with chair. It is daytime in April; sunlight is
shining through a window into the bedroom. Andrew is sat on the bed.

Andrew	This was my bedroom. [shrugs shoulders] Nice isn't it. I'm sorry; I should
start at the beginning. My story starts last August. My Nana had died earlier
on in the year and I had just got my inheritance. Instead of just putting it in
my bank account and drinking it away, I decided to use half of it to buy a
laptop. I put the other half in the bank so I could drink it away. I also
bought a mobile phone. The new laptop brought new software; the new
software brought new sites on the Internet. Including Yahoo chat. In the last
couple of weeks of the summer holidays I spent virtually every minute of
every day on this chat site, talking to loads of people from all over the
world. One night (well actually it was about three o'clock in the morning), I
started chatting to TC. [Tony enters stands next to easy chair downstage
left] Antony Peter Clarke. Tony. [gets up and moves to stage right of the
easy chair downstage left]. After we had been chatting for a few hours, we
exchanged phone numbers. Not expecting to hear anything from him again
I said goodnight. [sits in easy chair, pauses and looks up at Tony and back
to audience.] It was 23 minutes to one, the following afternoon; I was on
the bus; Tony called. The conversation was short, but there was some
attraction there. We arranged to speak later that day. We were on the phone
for a couple of hours that night. He was 17 then; he lives in Essex so it was
hard me being at the other end of the country but it made the relationship
stronger because we got to know each other, well, before sex came into the
equation, even though we jacked off two or three times during the call.
Some of the best orgasms I've ever had. It was strange, even though I had
only known him for a few hours and we had never met I still felt very close
to him. He had only realised that he was gay a few months before. He
hadn't told anyone. All my friends knew I was gay. I was lucky, I'd realised
I was when I was thirteen or fourteen. I met Andrew when I was fourteen
and we were together for over two and a half years, when he joined the
RAF. I loved Andrew (we were known as the two Andys with the
wandering handies), I was proud of Andrew so I had told people so
everyone knew at school and later college. They had grown up with it. It
was cool, it meant I could talk to people. I didn't have to 'come out' to
them first. I told Tony all about my friends knowing and how much easier it
was to, well, well to talk. He took my advice and told his best friends. I
encouraged him to go meet someone who he had met on the net who was in
London a few weeks later.

Tony	[sits on arm of easy chair] Evander, the first man I ever kissed never mind
fucked. It felt so right. I knew for sure. It was like someone had lifted a big
weight from my shoulders.

Andrew	I was so happy for Tony. Evander however, was just a shag, just a
confirmation of his sexuality. Tony and me grew a lot closer in the next
couple of months. We spoke everyday at least three times. We fell in love,
well as in love as two people who had never met could be. [Tony takes
Andrew's hand and kisses Andrew on the lips. Andrew stands and moves
centre stage looks at Tony and smiles before looking back to the audience]
Three months later, I was going down to London to visit a university. [Tony
takes chair from the desk over to the table right of centre stage before
taking out a mobile phone and holding it to his ear] I had a couple of hours
after the visit before my train home. I arranged to meet Tony at Euston
station. [Andrew takes out mobile phone. Speaking into phone] I'm on the
main concourse just in front of Burger King. I'm wearing a black suit with
a royal blue shirt.

Tony	Ok, give me two secs. [moves behind Andrew] I Love you. [as Tony says
this, he throws his arms around Andrew. Andrew turns and they kiss.] I've
waited so long to do that. I love you. [they kiss again]

Andrew	 [to Tony] I love you to. I've got two and a quarter hours before my train.
Should we grab some food?

Tony 	Sure. [they kiss again]

Andrew	[to audience] Despite the obvious temptation of Burger King (I'm sorry but
its just not Mcdonalds!) [hand in hand Tony and Andrew move to the table.
They sit at adjacent corners of the table both facing the audience][speaking
as they move] we decided to go upstairs to the bar and get a couple of
sandwiches. I had roast beef and horseradish source. Tony had chicken and
mayonnaise. All garnished with a bottle of red wine, and a lot of footsie. He
had a little bag with him with some photos in of all his friends. He also had
a little beanie bear with him called Andrew. It was just too sweet. It was
time to get my train. [Andrew gets up and carries the chair back to the desk
he sits on the desk and continues to audience, Tony moves back across to
downstage left] We walked down to the platform hand in hand. It was so
weird, not feeling paranoid about walking through a packed station, hand in
hand with another guy. We were stood on the platform, my train behind us
full of people, another train just come in front of us (no pun intended) and
there I was getting off with him. The whistle blew. We didn't stop. The
train went. So we went for another drink. [Andrew looks at Tony. Tony
turns and smiles. Andrew turns back to the audience.] We made love in the
station toilets: [pause] best twenty pence I ever spent. [Tony turns, smiles at
Andrew and exits stage left.] We eventually said goodbye, and I got a train
to Manchester. I had missed the last train home. I got my brother to pick me
up from Manchester Piccadilly and he drove halfway home and my parents
had to meet us half way. We got home about half twelve. Woops! [Pause]
My relationship with Tony grew stronger rather than closer. I was due to be
going down to another university in London the following week we
arranged to meet up again. In that time Tony had been talking to various
people, and had met Matt. Tony really fancied Matt and he told me that he
wanted to go out with him. This pleased me, don't get me wrong I really
loved Tony but was difficult being at the other end of the country. So Tony
and me agreed it was best to remain 'friends who shag'. We met up the
following week as planned, we went out for a meal, then we went for a few
drinks at a gay bar in leister square. It was a good job I didn't have to worry
about getting back to Cumbria, I was due to be in Manchester the following
day so I was going to stay in Manchester with my brother. Matt met us in
the bar and we got to know each other well. When it was time to leave,
Tony and me kissed, then I kissed matt and then I got my train they both
waved me off from the station. It was very cute. It reminded me of two
parents waving goodbye to their son. The three of us are great friends still.
Tony has a new boyfriend now though: James. Tony and I still speak
virtually everyday. [BLACKOUT]

Scene 2
This scene once again takes place in Andrew's bedroom. It is still daytime, sun is still
shining through the window; Andrew is sat on his bed. He is talking to the
audience.

Andrew	Michael. I met Michael on the phone one of those chat lines, I'd won some
vouchers from Attitude (sorry for those of you that don't know, Attitude is
a gay magazine, the gay equivalent of Loaded); you don't think I'd be that
sad as to call one and pay for it myself do you? [smiles nervously and
laughs with the audience] Anyway, Michael, He sounded sweet so we got
chatting. [Andrew gets up and sits on the desk. Michael enters downstage
right] Michael is 21, and lives in Grimsby. It was apparent after talking for
only a few minutes that we were going to get on well. [Michael turns to
Andrew and smiles before turning back to the audience] We exchanged
phone numbers. [Pause] I was very ill over Christmas and Michael being a
student nurse was very helpful. He has a fantastic bedside manner, even
over the phone. Michael and me spent many hours on the phone over that
period. We had a lot, a hell of a lot in common. It was really quite scary
sometimes just how similar we were, there was a very strong link between
us, everything from fancying Lee from Steps and loving Graham Norton to
something as trivial as our favourite music, because of this I found myself
falling very, very, quickly for him. It was madness. You would have
thought that I would have learnt my lessons with long distance relationships
with Tony but. Michael was different. He was older, wiser more, more
me. He suited me more. He had had many partners so this wasn't new to
him either. It was difficult sometimes, being so much, well, well, In love
and being apart. We made various arrangements to meet, but because of his
work commitments, every time we were going to meet he got called into
work, this happened about three times before we actually met. We met in
Manchester. We didn't have long together, but the time we did have was
fantastic. I went to Manchester under the pretence that I was going to see
my brother but I actually met Michael first in the early afternoon. [Michael
walks to Andrew and sits on the desk] We went to 'Bar 38', a large coffee
house, we had coffee and coffee and even more coffee, for about 2 hours I
drank nothing but coffee! I was happy though; Michael and I were getting
very close. [Andrew stands up, kisses Michael, Michael stands up and
moves back downstage left. Andrew sits back down.] We said our goodbyes,
kissed and walked in opposite directions. Then I got this call on the mobile.
It was Michael. He told me to turn round. He'd written 'I love you' on the
pavement with a stone. I ran up and kissed him. [Michael turns and smiles
at Andrew] We spoke on the phone for well over two hours that night. After
the Christmas holidays, I went back to college, and Michael went back to
work. He was working nights, which was a pain in the arse, we could only
talk at certain times during the day because he usually was asleep. But I do
think this made the relationship stronger, absence makes the heart grow
fonder and all that crap. But no I think it did help; it meant we actually had
something to talk about, instead of just saying 'I love you' fifteen hundred
times every phone call. [Andrew gets up and moves to the easy chair and
sits down. Michael sits down on the arm and puts his arm around Andrew.]
It was two weeks into the spring term. Every thing was going well, I was
getting fired up for my A' levels, my eighteenth birthday was coming up in
a couple of weeks, [looks up at Michael] I was in love with a great guy and
I was flying. [Andrew gets up and walks to centre stage, Terry walks in to
down stage right, Michael stands up still downstage left] The phone rang; it
was Michael.

Michael Hello sweetie.

Andrew	[To audience] He always calls me that. The conversation was fairly general;
we were talking about music for most of it. Michael and I love cheesy pop;
you know things like 'YMCA','I Will Survive' and well, anything by
Abba. Yes you're right, it was camper than Christmas but hey, any
conversation that contains Abba, Gloria Gainer and the Village People is
going to be firstly taking place between two or more gay people and
secondly its going to be camp.

Michael	We're too much alike. Its scary I bet you even like 'Steps'.

Andrew	AAAAAHHHHHHHH [screams with delight] I love them! Especially Lee.

Michael	Oh yes. He's gorgeous.

[BLACKOUT, Andrew sits on bed before restore]

Andrew	The conversation ended and I thought nothing else of it.

[Terry walks to bed]

Terry	Andrew, I accidentally caught the monitor button on the phone. Who was
that on the phone?

Andrew 	[to audience] Accidentally my arse. Yes, the bastard had been listening in
on my phone call. I panicked. Just how much had he heard? I said that I had
been booking the next sixth form social, where we hire out a nightclub for a
night and everyone gets pissed, and I had been talking to the DJ about the
music he was to play. I hoped he would buy it.

Terry	Oh, [Pause] he sounded like a right puffter. You don't want to be around
people like him, he might try something.

Andrew	[to Terry] Dad, he's the DJ from the club. I have no intention of even
talking to him again.

Terry	Good, you don't want to either, he might try and convert you.

[Terry freezes]

Andrew [to audience] I still cannot believe what dad said next, it completely fucked
me up.

[Terry- continuing:]

Terry	Because if you even think of becoming a fucking faggot you may as well
leave now. We've got enough problems already.

Andrew	[to audience] The next thing that I said shocked me even more: [to Terry]
There's no danger of that don't you worry.

Terry	Good.

[BLACKOUT. Terry exits]

Scene 3
Andrew is sat with his head in his hands on the easy chair downstage left. He is
crying. The open chest is lit.

Andrew	[to audience] I couldn't believe what he had said. As soon as he left I burst
out crying.  I didn't know what to do. [Jen enters downstage right] I called
Jen. Jen, hi, sorry to bother you, Jen I need a favour, can you call me at
home? It's just I need a girl to call.

Jen	Sure no problem, I assume something's happened at home. I'll call in about
five minutes ok?

[Jen moves to centre stage, Terry enters stage right]

Andrew	[as they move] Yeah cheers Jen.

Jen	Hello darling.

Terry	Hello?

Jen	Oh sorry is Andrew there please? It's Jen.

Terry	Yeah I'll just get him. [shouts] Andrew, Telephone, It's Jen.

[Terry exits, Jen moves back to downstage right]

Jen	Hello darling, How are you my love?

Andrew	Its Ok he's put the phone down. Cheers Jen, I'll explain tomorrow what
happened. Thanks again.

Jen	Its ok, I'll see you tomorrow.

[Jen exits stage right, Andrew gets up and lies on the bed on his front facing the
audience. Michael also moves to the bed and straddles Andrew, massaging him]

Andrew	I rang Michael. He was wonderful; he calmed me down. He was very
philosophical about the whole situation. There I was crying on the end of
the phone and there was this voice, this God like voice (yes its true God
does have a Yorkshire accent) telling me that everything would be all right
and that I should stay calm. He said that I couldn't let my parents see that I
was upset, because that would lead to more questions.
Teatime. [pause]
After a very, well, hostile tea I rang Michael again. This time I just let all of
my feelings pour out. I was on the phone for three and a half hours. Going
over everything that had happened time and time and time and time again.
It felt as if my heart had been pulled straight out of my chest and kicked
around like a football. He just listened. He understood everything. He
explained that dad was brought up in a time where gay sex was seen as
wrong and indeed it was illegal. [getting angry] Dad was always one of the
'boys' so for his son to be gay was just out of the question. Well hello this
is me I am what I am. I am my own [shouting] fucking special creation. Ha.
[pause, crying] Who the fuck am I kidding? [calmer, with underlying rage]
He would see me as just another 'dirty puffter' as he would so tactfully put
it. The bastard.

Michael	Wow, let it all out why don't you. Andrew you can't let him hear you like
this. As far as he is concerned at the moment, you've told him you're not
gay, you're still living up to his narrow-minded heterosexual views. Just
don't show him that what he said upset you in any way.

Andrew	[interrupting] But.

Michael	I know its difficult but it is something you have to do. I love you; you know
that. If there's anyone who will always be here for you its me.

Andrew	[to audience] I grew stronger with his words. I said good night. I was still
hurting badly inside. I did however have a small flame burning in my heart
that was my love for Michael. [Michael exits stage left] Naively, I tried to
get to sleep. How the fuck could I sleep. It was ten thirty: I rang Tony.
Again, all I did was cry down the phone. I said to him 'never let them find
out! Go and tell them now'. He was also fantastic. He let me go on. He said
it was like listening to the ravings of a madman. He was probably right, was
I going mad? Great, mad and queer well I've got a lot going for me haven't
I. It was midnight. I rang Heather. [Heather enters downstage right] She
wasn't answering her mobile. I left a text message: 'Ring me ASAP. Love a
virtually homeless Andrew.' She rang back within seconds. I felt so alone,
but I had all these friends I knew I could call.

Heather	What's up? What's happened? Why the virtually homeless bit?

Andrew	Its dad. He threatened to throw me out.

Heather	Why?

Andrew	Why do you think?

Heather	I don't know. [realising] Because, because.

Andrew	Yes because I'm gay.

Heather	You told them?

Andrew	No did I hell. Dad listened in on a phone call I made to Michael.

Heather	Oh god.

Andrew	He challenged me as to who was on the phone, I lied to him, said it was the
DJ from the nightclub we're going to for the social. I don't know how much
he heard.

Heather	 What did he say?

Andrew	He said that if I ever even think about becoming a faggot that I may as well
leave now.

Heather	Oh god, what did you say?

Andrew	I said there was no danger of that.

Heather	Why didn't you just tell him?

Andrew	I really wanted to, but I like having a roof over my head.

Heather	You think he would throw you out?

Andrew	Oh yes. He wouldn't think twice about it. He's so bloody stubborn. I wish I
had.

Heather	This may seem like a stupid question, but are you all right?

Andrew	No [starting to cry]

Heather	What did your mum say?

Andrew	I don't know if she knows. She'll be fine with it, I know.

Heather	Well why don't you.

Andrew	[interrupting] No Heather, before you say it no. I'm not going to tell mum.
No.

Heather	Wow. Ok. I'm sorry. So what exactly happened?

Andrew	[to audience] I told her everything that had happened. [to heather] I'm
sorry, I don't usually cry this much.

Heather	Oh don't worry I've done it often enough. I'm sorry. You don't deserve
this. If only it had come in another five months. You know you can always
talk to me don't you.

Andrew	Yeah, cheers Heather. [to audience] She's fantastic. I was on the phone
until quarter past two. She had to be up early the next morning as well. I
eventually fell asleep at about four, and then woke up at five in a cold
sweat. It was horrible. I couldn't sleep at all. I went in to college next day
early. I spoke to Jen there. She told me to go home. Luckily, mum and dad
were both at work that day so I would have the house to myself. I went to
Blockbuster and got a couple of videos out. 'Gods and Monsters' and 'L.A.
Confidential'. Two of my most favourite films ever made. I took them
home, brought my duvet downstairs to the living room and vegetated.
Wallowing in self-pitty, complete with chocolate, and popcorn. It was bliss.
I rang Michael and was on the phone to him a lot during the day. I didn't
have to think or do anything. Surprisingly, the day was over quickly. I
didn't sleep again that night. But I was so tired from the previous night I
did have more sleep, even if it was fairly restless. I went in to college the
next day. Friday. I went to one lesson, did nothing, cried virtually all the
way through the lesson and then started throwing my file around the room.
I was not in any state of mind to be in college. I could have hurt someone.
God knows I wanted to. I had maths next. As soon as the teacher saw me
she said go home. I looked in a mirror. My face was red from the tears, my
eyes were bloodshot, and my hair was a mess. Basically I looked like shit
and felt worse. [Andrew moves and sits on chair by desk] It was the
weekend. I told mum and dad that I was going down to see my brother at
university in Salford. I did, I just didn't stay long. I went to see Michael in
Grimsby. I stayed with Michael in a hotel. It was great to get away from it
all. I felt really comfortable with Michael not threatened at all unlike at
home. I went back to my brother on Sunday night, just in case the parents
rang, which was lucky, because they did. They wanted to know if I was
going home that night, I said yes.  I got home at about one o'clock Monday
morning. I kept away from my parents the following week. I avoided them
as much as possible. We were co-habiting as opposed to living together.
[BLACKOUT]


Scene 4
Andrew is sat on the chair by the table. It is nighttime; the room is in midnight blue
wash. There is a single spot on Andrew.

Andrew 	During the next few weeks the relationship didn't change much between
my parents and I. We did start speaking I told them that I was bogged down
with work. My form tutor from college rang mum to ask of I was ok,
because a few of my teachers had noticed a significant decline in my work
over the past few weeks. Mum attributed this to the fact that I was doing
too much and that I should be either at home of at college and nowhere
else. This made things worse for me. They were stopping me from doing
the things that were keeping me sane. To top it all, just before half term a
very good friend of mine was taken into hospital. She was my singing
teacher and we knew each other very well. She was a great friend to me as
well as a great inspiration. She died eight days later. That just added to my
problems. Life had hit rock bottom. [pause] After half term, things hadn't
improved much. I eventually plucked up the courage to go and tell  the head
of sixth form why I had been so shit during the last half term. I told him
everything. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. He was great.
He wrote to all the universities that I had applied to, and explained that I
was having 'severe personal problems at home' so it was good to know that
some of the pressure had been lifted from me. My parents were going to
Egypt in two weeks I would be at home on my own for two and a half
weeks. Peace at last? Huh, I should be so lucky. The home phone bill
arrived for the last quarter. Four hundred and thirty two pounds sixty-seven
pence. My mobile bill for the last month was two hundred and ten pounds.
In total I had spent about nine hundred pounds on calls in the past three
months; nine hundred pounds that I didn't have. [Angrily] Why can't rich
relatives hurry up and die? [regaining composure] Now I had hit rock
bottom. [the spot fades on Andrew he moves to the bed and sits in silence
for a few seconds,the lights restore on Andrew] I made arrangements with
mum to pay off the landline bill, I had enough money to cover the mobile
bill but that left me broke. I had very little money coming in as well.
Because I had told mum that I was working hard, she had reduced my hours
to virtually nil. Fucking hell I was in a mess! [blackout, Terry enters and
stands downstage right]
	The next few weeks passed surprisingly ordinarily. The relationship with
my parents appeared to be stabilising, or so I thought. I was looking
forward to my parents going away, I had arranged for Michael to come up
and stay for the weekend, and life was well as great as it could be. Mum
had left me some money and a blank cheque in case anything went wrong.
However, this apparent silver lining to the cloud turned out to be only silver
plating. As they were leaving, my parents told me that there were to be no
parties, and I was not even allowed friends round to the house (like that was
going to stop me). It was what dad said that got to me.

Terry	I don't want any of your puffter friends around either.

[Terry exits stage right]

Andrew	That was it, I snapped. I said goodbye, watched them drive down the road
locked the door and burst in to tears. Then sadness turned to rage. I
remember thinking 'let me out' I'd had enough, everything came to a head,
I couldn't go on; my A'levels had been fucked up just like the rest of my
life. I had nothing to live for. [Blackout. Andrew moves to the desk and sits
on the corner. Restore] I suppose you're thinking how did he do it? How
did he top himself? [Pause] Well, I didn't. What was the point? I had
already died. I died when dad said what he said to me. I was resting in
pieces. No suicide was too easy for him. I was bitter, very bitter. I wanted
to make this hurt. I wrote out the cheque for twenty thousand pounds. I
knew the money was there; it was the leftovers from the inheritance. I went
to the bank and cashed the cheque. Twenty grand. Twenty grand to start a
new life. Michael arrived about eight thirty that evening. We made plans, I
was to live with him for a few weeks in his student flat in London until I
could get a job and hopefully an apartment. I left a brief note, 'Thanks
Mum, blame Dad, have a nice life, don't come looking for me, I'll contact
you. Oh by the way Dad, I fucked Michael on your bed.' I also left a note
on the be saying 'I fucked Michael here' with an arrow pointing to a cum
stain. [Andrew moves back to the bed and sits on the end] Michael
persuaded me to stay at the house for a couple of days until the money had
cleared and I had had time to change my bank account. I set up a post office
box as a correspondence address and everything was going well. We left a
few days later. I took dad's car, and his fuel card so I could use it at least
until the bastard got back. I was upset that I had to leave but I needed to get
away and rebuild my life. [Blackout]


Scene 5: Epilogue

Andrew is sat in the easy-chair downstage left.

Andrew	Six months on and I am rebuilding my life. In fact things are looking quite
good for Michael and me. I've got a job with the English National Opera,
I'm studying at music college at the same time. I stayed with Michael and
we've a nicer apartment in north London. He's become a senior staff nurse
at a Hospital just outside London. I haven't spoken to my parents since they
left for Egypt. To be honest I don't really care about them. That brings me
on to why I came back to my old room. Well I had a few days off,  I knew
that mum and dad would be at work so I decided to see if they'd changed
the locks. They hadn't so I came up to my room. It hasn't changed. Do you
like it? I designed it myself. [Andrew breaks down crying, Pause, shouts]
The bastard! [Andrew gets up and in a fit of rage turns over his bed and
pushes over the desk before regaining his composure and stands centre
stage] I love Michael. I can't live with my parents. I don't need them at the
moment. I've a good job, a prosperous future, a nice home and a fantastic
boyfriend. I have the respect of my peers from my old college (with whom I
still keep in touch) and a good life: who could ask for anything more? The
only thing I fear is death; strange really, when I've already died once
before. At least when I do die I wont have to go through it again, because
you only die twice. [Andrew walks over to the chest and slams it shut.
Blackout]


The End.