Date: Tue, 30 May 2000 06:59:45 GMT
From: Wayne Patrick <wppsd@hotmail.com>
Subject: gay/beginnings/searching-for-a-son-17

Disclaimers:  Please see chapter one for all disclaimers.  If you shouldn't
be here, please leave.

Author's note:  My apologies for the delay in continuing.  Time has been
precious lately.  There will be one or two more chapters to complete this
story as promised.  Thank you to all who have written.  Your words have
touched me deeply.

*****

The phone call was brief.  Ruth frowned, tears coming to her eyes.  "That
was Jim.  He's on his way home.  You better leave."

Joey nodded and looked at Stephen.  He hugged his mom.  "Please try to call
me," he begged.  "Come on, Stephen.  Let's go out the front door."

They walked out to the car.  Joey helped Stephen in and placed the
skateboard on the back seat.  He hurried around to the driver's side.
Before he climbed in, he looked back at his mother standing in the doorway.
He could see the tears running down her face.  Somehow, he knew this would
be the last time he would see her.  He waved quickly and got in the car.
The engine turned over and they drove away.

Chapter 44

They reached the motel in minutes.  Instead of parking the car in the motel
lot, Joey chose to park around the far side of the building, where very few
people would walk by and there was no auto traffic.  He wanted to be able to
move freely without being seen by many people.  They walked along the
seawall from the far end of the building towards their room.

Joey stopped and looked at the ocean.  His mind had churned all the way from
the house.  He was deeply upset by the reactions of his mother.  It was as
if she had become a stranger to him and this bothered him.  In that moment,
he felt lonely for the first time since the day he met Stephen.  The idea
that his entire family was gone from his life felt overwhelming, leaving him
to question for the briefest of moments whether any of the choices in his
life had been good ones.  He so desperately wanted to believe he had done
the right thing. The unsettling feelings of emptiness that he had suffered
through his childhood visited him again as he clutched the skateboard that
represented the sacrifices and love Stephen had for him and that which he
knew in his soul he would always have for his man.  No matter who you are,
you are going to question yourself at some point in your life, and when it's
your turn to wonder if you have chosen the right path, no one will pat you
on the back and say to you, "That's okay, I've made mistakes too.  You will
live through this."  This is one lesson to be learned alone.

Stephen took a couple more steps beyond where Joey stopped before he
realized that he was walking alone.  When he looked back, the emotions
written on Joey's face were not difficult to discern.   The look suggested
it was a bad idea coming back to Ocean Manor.  But Stephen was smart enough
to not harass Joey about the choice.  As far as he was concerned, this had
given him another opportunity to solidify the bond between them.  The
strongest part of their love for each other was the ability to say or ask
anything without having feelings hurt or misinterpreted.

"What's wrong, my love?"

Joey turned and looked into Stephen's eyes.  He found the compassion he knew
would always be there.  He flashed to the lovemaking they had shared earlier
that day, the pleasure that had been given, and the respect and admiration
they held for each other.  Suddenly, everything was right in Joey's world
again.  As quickly as he had questioned his choices, he knew the answers,
and because of the smile Stephen always had ready for him, he would never
need to question them again.

"Nothing's wrong.  Not as long as I have you."  Stephen gave Joey a quick
hug and the smile returned to Joey's face.  They continued on their walk
back to the room.  At that point, Stephen decided he wanted to check out in
the morning and head back home.  He was ready to face Susan's family because
he knew he had the love he needed, even though the whole family could reject
him.  He had Joey, Katie and Tim, and Jeff and Donna.  That was all he
wanted.

They continued along the sidewalk, approaching their room when the door of
the room next to it opened.  A man and a woman were walking out of the room.
  The woman grabbed the man by the shirt, pulling her to him and savagely
kissing him.  He pecked back at her and turned to lead the way out.  If the
beach had not been so quiet, it probably would have gone unnoticed by Joey
and Stephen, but it was the only other activity going on.  As the man
started walking toward the sidewalk, Joey recognized a very familiar face.
One he hoped he wouldn't see again.  And certainly not like this.

"Jim.  What are you doing here?"  Joey asked in shock.

"Well, if it isn't the little faggot.  I never thought I'd see you show your
ugly face around here again.  And if it isn't his sugar daddy.  I see you've
gotten what you deserve for protecting this little pansy."  Thompson
viciously attacked, the way he had always cut Joey down as a kid.

Stephen's mouth hung open from the shock of the attack.  He clearly
remembered the stories Joey told of Thompson's cutting, hurtful tirades, but
he had never seen it in action.  Why anyone would be so cruel to another
human being was beyond what he could comprehend.  As he stood there,
Thompson continued walking toward the two men, and Stephen was unsure as to
whether he would do anything to harm Joey.  The alarm of this thought
snapped him back to the real world.  Stephen stepped forward, once again
protecting the boy who felt like his son from the man who should have felt
that way.  He had dreamed many times of having one chance at Thompson.  The
day Joey lay in bed after the near rape by Kevin, Stephen watched as his
protégé slept and reviewed all the stories Joey had told him of his
childhood.  He had filed that anger in the back of his mind, swearing if he
ever got the opportunity, he would vent that fury on the man who had hurt
his lover so many times.  Stephen had considered all the scenarios of what
might happen, but to have a target as easy as this was unimaginable.  One
liners were coming so fast he couldn't decide which ones he wanted to use.

"At least, he's not here sticking his dick in the ass of someone who he's
not in love with.  Do you get a group discount?  How about a frequent
visitor's card?  How many cunts have you banged here?"

The woman was shocked to say the least.  "What is all this about?"

Joey replied with venom in his voice stirred by the words coming from
Stephen.  "I'm sorry, excuse my manners.  We should have introduced
ourselves.  My name is Joey Edwards - Jim is my step-father.  This is my
lover, Stephen.  And what is your name, ma'am?"  Joey's had learned lessons
well from watching Stephen and Katie parry.  And he was no longer a little
boy who had to quietly take abuse from the man who kept a roof over his
head.  Turning and looking at Jim to see the look on his face, he proudly
snipped, "Jim made me everything I am today."  He paused for a second and
added, "By the way, Dad," with great emphasis on the last word, "Does Mom
know about all the overtime you've been putting in?"

"You bastard!" shrieked the woman.  She proceeded to carefully, but quite
forcefully, put her knee right between his legs, coming straight up, just as
she had learned in her self-defense program.  "Don't ever come near me
again!"

She shoved him to the ground, Jim landing in the shrubs that landscaped the
motel, his hands grasping his very tender, very sore crotch.  The motel door
slammed shut and the locks could be heard snapping tight.

Joey laughed to Stephen, "I guess Jim already paid for the room in advance."

Stephen nodded, laughing too hard to respond.  They walked on down the
sidewalk, leaving Jim Thompson lying in a position Joey could keep in his
mind for the rest of his life.


Chapter 45

Tuesday morning came early for Joey.  He wanted to head out and make sure
that he got to his classes on time.  When the alarm sounded, it was Stephen
who rose first and turned the buzzer off.

"Let's go, sleepyhead!"  He leaned over and planted a deep kiss on the lips
of his boy, waiting until Joey responded before plunging his tongue in to
wake him properly.  "School awaits!"

"Ugh!"  Joey grimaced.  After Stephen had lifted off of his body, Joey's
eyes focused on the man smiling down at him, staring into his soul, waiting
in anticipation of what Stephen's next move might be.  One thing about
Stephen that Joey had learned was, although Stephen was solid as a rock when
Joey needed a dad, a friend, or an advisor, when Stephen wanted to play,
Joey had to be prepared for anything that might happen.  That kept things
lively, especially early in the morning and late at night.  But this
morning, Joey saw a calmness in Stephen that suggested serious matters would
be the topic of the morning.  Joey quietly asked, "What are you going to do
while I'm in class?"

"I've decided that I want to be home.  I don't think anyone will come by
since it is a workday, and I'm ready to deal with anyone who does.  I have
some business phone calls to make and there are some people I really need to
speak to.  I feel like I'm falling behind being up here, I'm not getting
anything accomplished, and I don't feel tired or weak.  You gave me a good
workout yesterday," he said with a wry smile, "and I'm not suffering because
of it.  Take me home first."

"If you're sure, you have to promise not to go out without me.  I'm still
worried about you and I love you too much to have something else happen."
Joey searched Stephen's face in the dim light of the room to check on his
injuries and knew he would have to inspect in the brighter light of day.  He
could tell that some of the discoloring had left and that he looked more
like a kid who had just lost a fight with the neighborhood bully than a man
who had been held overnight in a hospital with a serious head wound.  With
his inspection complete, Joey pulled Stephen down for one more kiss before
bouncing out of bed to head for the bathroom.

Stephen watched the naked body of his man walk away from him and around the
corner.  He still couldn't get enough of just looking at Joey's body,
studying each part, even staring at him if he felt like it.  This morning he
was treated to the thrill of watching Joey's tight butt muscles flex with
each step he took.  He admired the thighs, lean but not skinny.  The more
Stephen studied Joey, the more difficult it became for him to find a flaw.
To Stephen, Joey was the perfect man, everything he could possibly want.
There was not a single thing Stephen would change about Joey.  He was
incredible, and to think, Joey didn't even know it until he met Stephen.

Joey had become used to Stephen's stares and was not bothered by it at all.
He considered it the highest compliment.  Joey had spent all of his life
thinking of himself as plain, ordinary Joey, someone who everyone took for
granted and didn't really consider such a great catch.  He sometimes
wondered who he would ever meet that would want him and want to please him.
He even thought to himself that if he could ever find someone one day, it
might wind up being a one-way relationship where Joey never was on the
receiving end of the pleasure, where he would be the one who was never the
center of the attention.  Joey's fantasies were usually geared to this
scenario simply because he didn't have the confidence that anyone would want
him.  But in Stephen, he found someone who was drooling over him and made
sure that he knew it.  Stephen poured praise upon Joey, sometimes to the
point that Joey felt Stephen was bullshitting him.  But Stephen always
followed up on his words with his actions and Joey loved the actions Stephen
put on him, with whatever part of him Stephen chose to use.  And for all of
this wonderful pleasure, all it would cost him was having to walk around
with little or no clothing on and let a man just watch him as he moved about
his business.

They dressed and checked out of the motel, heading for home with one stop
for breakfast at the restaurant where they had run into Joey's mom the first
time.  Today's breakfast was uneventful as they sat outside eating, Stephen
getting one last look at the ocean before going back to the drudgery of
work.

Joey dropped Stephen off at home, quickly leaving for school.  As he arrived
on campus, he saw Tim walking with Katie, who flew into his arms hugging him
fiercely as they met.  She bubbled and rattled on, almost incoherently,
until she showed him the ring on her finger.  Joey grinned as he realized
what Katie was trying to say, giving her a kiss and hug and then turning to
Tim to shake his hand.

"Congratulations!  When did you decide?"

"He gave me the ring as you drove away from the courthouse," Katie said.
"It was all I could do to keep myself from consummating the marriage right
there on the sidewalk."

Tim cut in, "Now, now Katie, it wasn't that close," he laughed, "but I
wouldn't have stopped you either."  Katie slapped him on the chest.  This
marriage was going to be a wild ride.

"Have you set a date?" Joey asked.

"No, we haven't gotten that far yet.  Actually, we ran into a problem with
the first thing we tried to decide."

"What's that?"

Katie began, "The first thing we tried to choose was the wedding party.  We
can't figure out something."  Tim added, "We thought we'd ask your opinion."

Joey looked confused.  "What do I know about weddings?"

"Well," Katie continued, "we know we want you to be the best man, would you
do that for us?"

"Sure, I'd be honored.  So, what's the problem?"

Tim grinned.  "You were our first argument.  We both want you to stand for
us.  So we agreed to let you decide.  Who will you stand with, me or Katie?"

Joey was awed.  What a choice!  How could he choose between his two best
friends, other than Stephen.  He thought for a minute.

"I've got one question."  He couldn't resist.  "If I stand with Katie, do I
get to choose the color of the dress I wear?"  He busted out laughing.

Now it was Joey's turn to be punched by Katie.  "Get serious.  You are my
best friend, and if it wasn't for you nearly getting sick over my moves on
you, I wouldn't have gotten to know stud here."

"Hey, no politicking."  Tim chided.

"Okay, I'll let you know tomorrow.  Is that all right?  I want to talk to
Stephen about it."

"I swear," Katie said, "I don't think you can go to the bathroom without him
holding it for you, can you?"

"Nope, wanna come watch?"

"Arrgh.  I'm late for class."  She kissed the two men, Joey on the cheek and
Tim much longer and deeper.  "See you tomorrow.  And you better tell that
man of yours, my dear Uncle Stephen, that he isn't getting out of this
either.  He's going to be up there with us too."

"Is he going to be the ring bearer or the flower girl?"  Joey dodged one
last punch before heading on to class.


Chapter 46

Joey unlocked the door to the house, letting the screen slam behind him.
"Stephen, I'm home."

Stephen came out of the back bedroom.  He kissed Joey on the cheek and
hugged him.  "How'd it go?"

"Class was boring, but I ran into Tim and Katie.  They're getting married."

"Married?"

"Married.  She's got the ring and everything."

"When?"

"No date yet."  He headed off to drop his books off on his desk.  "By the
way, you're in the wedding party."

Stephen wobbled where he stood.  "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope.  I'm in it too.  Best man.  Call Katie if you don't believe me."

"Let's go.  I want to talk to her."

The walked to the market where Katie was at the checkout register.  Stephen
walked directly up to her, "We have to talk."

She still was floating on a cloud.  "Look, Uncle Stephen," as she flashed
the rock on her hand.  She ran around the counter to hug him.  "Thanks to
you, I've found the man of my dreams."

"That's great Katie.  But I've got to talk to you about being in the
wedding.  I'm sorry, I can't."

"You have to.  You are one of the most important persons in the world to me.
  I have to have you there with me and Tim feels the same way."

"I just can't.  I'll come by tonight.  Have Tim and your mom and dad there.
Okay."

Katie hesitated.  "Okay."

Stephen frowned.  "I'm really sorry, Katie."

Joey and Stephen walked out the market.  Joey was furious with Stephen.
"What the hell was that about?  How could you hurt her like that?"

"I'm not going to do it."

"Give me one good reason why you can't."

"Susan."

Joey stopped and grabbed Stephen by the arms.  "What kind of answer is
that?"

"Joey, have you seen a picture of Susan?"

"No.  Do you have one?"

"When we get home."

They walked in the garage as soon as they got home.  Stephen went directly
to a box whose tape seemed to have frayed as if it had been opened several
times.  He pulled out a photo album, a white book lettered in gold and
titled "Our Wedding."

Stephen opened the book to the first page and laid it on the hood of the car
for Joey to examine.  There stood a young, tuxedoed Stephen holding the
hands of a beautiful woman dressed in a wedding gown.  For the first time in
his life, Joey was looking at the woman who was able to get the attention of
Stephen when he wasn't even hunting.  She was stunning.  His first
impression explained where Scott got his good looks, but he soon realized
that gene must have been very dominant as he realized many members of the
Parker family looked very similar.  He understood why Stephen couldn't be
near Katie on her special day.  He imaged that she would look almost
identical to Susan.

"Joey.  Let me just add one thing.  I think the picture says it all, except
for this.  I know that wedding dress is carried down in the Parker family.
It goes back a few generations.  If you can fit in it, you wear it.  Katie
is almost the same size as Susan.  There is no doubt she will wear that
dress the day of her marriage to Tim.  I can't promise what will be going
through my mind.  I don't want to ruin it for Katie.  It's that simple."

Joey nodded and knew he had much to learn.  He saw another layer of the
complexity of the man Stephen Andrews.  Handsome, intelligent, funny, and
perceptive.  So Joey understood why Stephen would back out.  The question
now became how to tell the family without hurting feelings.


Chapter 47

That evening, Joey and Stephen showed up just as dinner was finishing.
There was a happiness coming from the house as they approached, but the
ringing of the doorbell silenced all the sounds coming from inside.

Katie answered the door, giving Joey and Stephen hugs and kisses.   They
walked in and hugs and handshakes were exchanged all around.  Katie and Tim
were there along with Katie's parents and brothers, Joey and Stephen, and
Aunt Lily who was spending a couple more days before heading back home after
the wedding.

Katie was blunt.  "Uncle Stephen, next to my dad and Tim, you are the most
important man in my life.  Why can't you be in my wedding?"

Joey interrupted.  "Katie, I talked to Stephen about it this afternoon.  I
understand why he doesn't want to be in the wedding.  Please, just take him
at his word and trust his judgement.  It would be best for everyone."

Everyone was quiet.  Finally, Katie's mom Sarah spoke.  "Stephen, we just
want to know it was nothing we did.  We are sorry for last Saturday and we
need to know there are no hard feelings."

Stephen sat back.  He hadn't thought this might be a problem.  "No, it has
nothing to do with Saturday.  I just want everything to be perfect for Katie
and I'm not sure I can live up to her, or my expectations."

Just then the doorbell rang.  Katie's brother opened the door and in walked
Claire and Danny.  Danny froze as, for the first time, he saw the damage he
had caused with his anger.  He bowed his head, embarrassed before all the
members of the family.

"Stephen, I don't know how to begin apologizing.  I am so sorry.  I didn't
even get to say thank you for what you did at the trial.  What can I do?
How can I make this up to you?"

Stephen looked to Joey to transmit some unspoken message.  Joey nodded his
approval.  Stephen rose from the table and walked to the front door.  He
stepped right up to Danny, their noses only inches from each other.  He held
Danny's attention, looking to see what was there, whether he could detect
any true remorse or guilt or shame.  He stared for at least a minute.
Stephen saw the sadness he had seen last Saturday just before things went
dark.  But this time, he knew anger was not going to be following it.
Stephen was in complete control and Danny understood that he was going to
get his punishment in front of his wife and family.  Stephen waited, not
moving, his brain reviewing all the choices he had at his disposal, making
sure what he saw in Danny, until he was convinced that no one in the room
knew what to expect.  When the tension had filled to bursting, Stephen
wrapped one arm around Danny's neck and pulled him right into a hard
lip-to-lip kiss.  With his arm behind Danny's head, he controlled how close
Danny stayed to him.  Finally, he released from the kiss and pushed Danny
away.

"There are two things to remember.  The first is that in this world, love is
hard to find.  When you find it, whatever form it takes, you accept it.  We
both lost it three years ago, and to this day it haunts us.  Life is too
short to waste on appearances or being concerned about what others might
think.  Care only for the ones you love.  Grab that love and never let go.
The other thing is to never ever let your anger get the better of you.  If
you do, you will lose.  Everyone in this room loves you, but your anger can
drive a wedge that would split us apart.  I forgive you.  Please never let
it happen again."

Joey hadn't talked specifics of what Stephen wanted to do, but he knew big,
macho Danny would be brought down to size without any violence.  As if that
weren't enough, Aunt Lily, the dear lady who started all the troubles at the
wedding finished Danny off in her own way.

"Danny, I haven't seen anything like that since you were a kid and I caught
you playing doctor with your cousins.  You were the most trouble of all the
kids.  We couldn't keep your clothes on you.  You always wanted to play
naked with your brothers and cousins.  I can remember like it was yesterday
how I walked in on the three of you completely naked..."

Danny stammered, "Aunt Lily.  I remember too.  You don't have to remind me."

The laughter filled the house and flooded out into the street.  Claire
hugged Danny, letting him know everything was okay, and then Katie's dad
walked over to his brother, hugged him, and whispered in his ear, "You
played doctor with our cousins, too?  Too bad you got caught."