Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 10:34:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: Gunter Ragen <gruntraq@yahoo.com>
Subject: Shocked Part 3

This is a continuation from Shocked Part I & II. You
will need to read them first, or this may not make any
sense. As always comments welcome gruntraq@yahoo.com

Monday morning at work was filled with the usual
emergencies and fires. The field superintendents
always needed me to rescue them from various maladies
left off from last week. In the construction business
men are men until they need the guy at the office to
pull a string or two at the city to get their jobs
back on line. Then they're little pussy girls ready to
sell their souls. If only they were all cock suckers
I would be master of minions. I had always visualized
my office as a dark chamber where the guys would line
up submissively and offer me sexual favors for my life
saving services of construction management.

I had been anxious all day to get the call from Doug.
I didn't know where it would all lead. I did know that
I was horny as hell though and hit the restroom a
couple times during the day to squeeze off some of my
internal angst. Finally after lunch, my Nextel phone
beeped and a familiar voice chimed. It was Tony our
head field superintendent. "What's up?" I replied. In
his deep masculine voice Tony said. "Hey me and Doug
are getting together at the job site at 3:00 to get
him up to speed on his project. Can you bring an extra
set of blueprints for him and be at the meeting so you
can answer any questions he might have?" . "Sure thing
Tony, see you guys there", I replied as if I could
care less.

After hitting the bathroom once more I grabbed a set
of plans for the project and headed out to la-la land.
When I arrived, I followed Tony's tuck into the gravel
parking lot. The job trailer was your typical mobile
home office you see on construction sites. It's
windows had bars, its paint was faded, and a plain
white sign on the side that read, "Construction
Office". It had a small perimeter chain-link fence
large enough for a few trucks to park within.

I parked next to Tony as he got out of his truck
wearing his trademark faded construction guy attire
topped off with a set of slick Ray-Bans. I could
undress this guy and lick him down for hours and never
tire. He looked my way with his sexy Italian smile and
tipped the brow of his hard hat toward me. "Hey
cocksucker! Glad you made it on time for once!", he
chided.  He's always a gent. He had a roll of
blueprints in one hand and a couple of company
T-Shirts in the other. As we walked up the metal steps
to the door, it flew open with Doug bounding out to
greet us.

"Hey guys", he invited with a smile and a wink to Tony
and I. He stepped back as we strode into the aged,
gritty job office. Doug looked as good as ever,
wearing a pair of mildly worn Levis and a set of brand
new leather Doc Marten work boots.  He had on a black
"Marines" T-Shirt that hung on him well, highlighting
his bulging arms and the wings of his upper body. We
exchanged seeking glances as I passed by him and
proceeded to the desk.

Tony sat his stuff down and did the cool dude fist
kiss thing with Doug, saying "Shane has a set of plans
for you. We can go over my marked up set and you can
take notes for yours". I looked up at Doug and handed
him the plans, "Thanks", he replied with a smile. Tony
and Doug seemed to have a pretty good rapport already
I thought. The Italian Stud was in a hurry and wanted
to get right to it, so we spent the next 10-15 minutes
going over the construction plans. Tony led the
meeting and pointed out the pertinent details to Doug.
I really didn't do much but grunt and agree whenever
Tony looked toward me for agreement.

Doug and I made eye contact occasionally. But we both
seemed to be avoiding it. I was getting the sense that
he was as nervous or apprehensive about this as I was.
When we finally got done, Tony sat down across the
desk and handed Doug the T-Shirts he'd brought with
him saying. , "Here are the shirts I promised you".
Doug grabbed the stack of red shirts and held one up
to examine it. Laughing he said, "So does this mean
I`m one of the guys now?" It was the standard issue
red T-Shirt with our "LMJ Construction" emblazoned
across it.

Doug reached down and pulled his black shirt up out of
his belted jeans and peeled it up and off of him.
Exposed was his tanned and lightly haired flat stomach
and buff chest. With his arms in the air, his armpits
lush with thick hair got my eye and my cock. My pulse
quickened. As he started to put on one of his new red
shirts he caught me eyeing him and shot me a quick
smile.

"Damn dude!" Tony remarked. "You looking pretty good
man! San Diego hasn`t been that bad to you after all:"
Doug smiled at him and replied, "I try to keep the
playground maintained". Tony jabbed me in the side and
kidded, "Do you see that?" . I just looked at him and
nodded. Doug never had to work at it. "Asshole!", I
thought to myself. Tony just shook his head and said,
"Shit I gotta work out three times a week to keep my
girly figure". He finally leaned back and looked over
at me and back at Doug, "So you two went to high
school together huh?"  For the first time in the
meeting Doug and I stopped and looked at each other
for a few seconds.

"Yup", I finally answered looking back and forth at
both of them as if it were inconsequential . Doug
nodded in agreement. "Doug here was the QB on our
football team, star hitter in baseball, and all that
other shit too", I told Tony. Nodding as if he already
knew, he looked at me and asked, "So did you guys play
together?" . Play together? If he only knew.  "Me? No,
I didn't play sports".  It got awkwardly silent.

Tony looked at me rubbing his bushy goatee with his
patented quizical look. Doug said nothing and just
rocked in his chair looking at the two of us with a
smirk.. "Right", he slurred as if to be contemplating.
"Well I'll take off and let you two catch up." Tony
finally said. "I've gotta get over to another project
before everyone takes off for the day". He then stood
up and headed out the door.

I was finally in a room alone with Doug.

As we heard Tony drive out of the parking lot and down
the street we finally looked each other in the eyes
reading each other to see who would make the first
move. Doug blinked. "You want something to drink? I
got water and Pepsi in the fridge." "No, I could
really use a beer though," I replied. Doug let out a
quiet laugh and smirked. "Yeah me too." He walked
around the desk, sat down and leaned back in his chair
with his hands clasped behind his head. Damn he looks
so good and he doesn't even know it.

"Man, it has been a long time", he finally said with a
sigh. Reeling with nervous energy I replied. "I was
pretty shocked when I heard your voice walking into
the conference room last week. I just about shit my
pants". He smiled. "Do I still do that to you?" I
scratched my face before I awkwardly went on. "Look
man, I never really said I was sorry about ... back
then. You know. I just... I hope it isn`t going to be an
thing now..." He nodded his head back and forth and
said, "No. No need for that man. We were kids. "

I continued, "I tried looking you up when I moved back
from college but you were gone. Later I found out you
signed up for the Marines and got married." Doug
looked me in the eyes as I spoke.  There was a new
look in his eyes of something that was never there
before. "Really? You tried to get a hold of me when
you got back huh?" he remarked. "I wish you could
have".  Looking back at him with a directness and new
found heart I replied. "I wish I could have too". We
just sat there and stared at each other and had one of
those moments where two people just look into each
other with silence. It was comfortable now.

He finally broke the silence, "So you want to get that
beer?". His invite making my day. "Yeah, I'd like that
a lot. You want to go down to the "Red Baron Club" on
fourth street?"  "Yeah sure," he replied. "That place
is still open huh?". He quickly shut down and locked
up the office trailer and we were on the road toward
the watering hole in town, Doug following behind.
During the short drive I did my best not to let my
mind run with expectations and hopes. I wanted badly
to get deep inside his jeans and feel his thunder
again, no doubt. But for the first time I was feeling
something more.

When we got to the bar we made our way to the back of
the old dimly lit place. It wasn't quite 5:00pm yet so
the place wasn't full of the regulars yet. The Red
Baron Club was one of those old school bars that
didn't attract the new young hipsters, it was too
scrungy and intimidating. It's a place older
blue-collar guys who want to shoot some pool, get a
bite to eat and throw a few back after work go to. We
sat in one of the last booths in the back affording us
some privacy and quiet. By the time we were seated the
waitress was already there asking what we wanted.

Doug looked at me and asked, "Is it still Samuel
Adams?" I nodded yes with surprise. "Two Sam Adams",
he told the waitress. I shook my head, "Man you never
miss a beat do you?" He smiled back at me. "I try not
to." I finally dove right in and asked, "So what
brought you back to Sacramento?" He leaned back and
cracked his knuckles, letting out a long breath. His
thick eyebrows scrunched up as he asked, "Long story
or short story?" I looked back into his deep brown
eyes, "The story that matters."

Over the next half hour he went on to tell me that
shortly after high school his cousin got a job in
construction here in town and he worked for about a
year or so. When the first Iraq war started with
Desert Shield and then Desert Storm he felt the call
and joined the Marines. He ended up going over there
just in time for the war to be over and spent the next
four years in the Marines at Camp Pendleton, just
north of San Diego. In the midst of it he had gotten
married to a gal from the area. Once he got out of the
Marines he got a construction foreman job down there
and they set out to live happily ever after.

As the third or fourth round of beers arrived he had
gotten to the part of how he came to be in front of
me. "I loved her a lot, but it just wasn't real", he
said. Looking into my eyes seriously and steady he
paused and asked. "Can I be completely honest with
you?". Taking on an equally serious stance  I said,
"Of Course." He rubbed his chin, "I mean about you and
me, and what we used to do. You have any issues with
that stuff? I leaned back and gave him the reassuring
look he needed. "Man I have no hang ups at all. In
fact I was hoping we could talk about it. So shoot".

He took a drink of his beer. "Fact of the matter is
Shane, I'm gay", he said quietly looking down at his
beer. He looked for a negative response in my eyes but
I gave none.  "It took a lot of years of living a lie
that hurt people around me but that's it. That's why I
am divorced." Looking up at me with a touch of sadness
he went on. "I could never have sex with my wife
without shutting my eyes and wishing I was with a
dude, imagining it." He took another long draw off his
beer. "I ended up hooking up with a couple of guys off
the internet down in San Diego off and on to feed it.
One thing led to another and I ended up getting caught
by my wife."

Letting out a deep sigh of sympathy I could only say,
"Fuck man, that sucks". He looked at me longingly for
a moment. In all the years we got together in our
youth I had never seen the vulnerable side of this
man. He had always the tough guy jock persona who
never felt anything but anger or machismo.  He never
let himself be open to ridicule or threat.

"Yeah it was a fucking mess alright. It was pretty
rough. She kicked me out, told everyone we knew
including my family that I was a fag she caught
fucking around with other guys. She made a revenge
parade out of it." Dumfounded and struck I replied,
"Fuck, no way!" He rubbed his hairy square jaw again
and said. "Yeah, way." He looked at me and took
another drink and then continued. " I ended up losing
most of my friends pretty quick. The company I worked
for was owned by Mormons. They were nice people but
weren't hip to that. I got let go when they found out.
So, that was pretty much it for me down there".

I leaned back in my seat and tried to digest what I
had just heard. What had been my lust for this stud
who re-entered my life had just turned into a deep
feeling of brotherly concern and empathy. He had just
gone through a closeted man's  nuclear scenario. I
finally asked, "What about your Dad? I mean he knows
too right? But you are here living with him? So what
happened there?" He motioned the waitress for another
round before he smiled and said, "Well that's the
bright spot in all of this mess. My dad has been my
ally in this whole thing." I just muttered, "No shit?"
 He smiled and his eyes filled with that look I had
been trying to figure out.

"My dad has been divorced from my mom since I was
five." When I was growing up he always told me it was
because they just didn't get along and fought too
much.  Well, it turns out that he and I have something
in common if you know what I mean." My jaw dropped and
hit the table next to my sweating beer. "No fucking
shit! Your dad? Really?" Doug smiled and replied.
"Really. He admitted it to me right after this whole
thing blew up. He had been hiding it all these years
from me, my mom, everyone. We had a long father son
talk and he told me a lot of things. Most important
was not to waste my life living the lie like he did.
So, long story short he told me to get back up here
and he would help me get back on my feet." I sat there
quietly in shock. Doug continued, "So I made the
decision to face up to it and see where it leads. I am
out in the open". I could not believe what I was
hearing. Of all the things I expected to hear or
expected to happen this was not it.

As I sat there in amazement trying to think of what to
say he said, "So enough about me. Tell me about you."
His story had hit home with me like a car bomb. In the
past two decades I had lived essentially the same
scheme as he. I got married, tried to live the
"normal" life but bailed out. My marriage didn't end
with a bang, but it ended for the same reason. I felt
convicted of my own lie. I was being called on my
reality by my first love who had just walked through
the fire. Suddenly beginning to choke up I responded
with a nervous din,  "About me huh? Where do I start
after all that?' Doug looked at me with a sincere but
interrogative gaze. "Tell me what you are thinking
right now".

"I think we ought to move this conversation somewhere
else", I replied making a facial motion to the crowd
of after-work men who now filling the bar around us.
Doug looked back at me as to measure my intentions.
"I'm not trying to get lucky" I joked. "I just have a
story too and if I have another beer or two here I
wont be able to drive." Doug got a sexy grin on his
face. "Well I wouldn't mind getting lucky though". The
air got a lot lighter as we both chuckled.

We paid the tab and headed for my house.


To be continued....