Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2012 04:17:38 -0800 (PST) From: Bono Torros <bonotorros@yahoo.com> Subject: Sleepy Days, Come No More_Chapter 23 Sleepy Days, Come No More Chapter 23 "You are just upset, you don't mean that." He said calmly. "I mean it." I paused. "I keep waiting for you to choose me. I keep waiting for you to say I'm enough." I started to cry. "And every day when you are not there or each night that you come to me drunk, it hurts. It's like being with my family, constantly feeling like I'm not good enough." I paused. "I love you. I really love you, but I can't let you do this to me." I said. Blake attempted to hold me but I resisted his efforts. "I want you to leave me alone, Blake." I said as I turned towards the entrance of the club. I went to the bathroom to compose myself, shortly after I entered, the door opened. It was Sean. "I saw you come in here, you looked upset." Sean said. "I am fine." I said as I dried the tears from my eyes. "Have things become more complicated?" Sean asked. "I don't want to talk about it." I went to the sink and splashed water on my face and dried it. "Sean if you want to help me, make me forget my troubles for a while." I said. "Do you want to get out of here?" Sean asked. "Part of me wants to say yes, but I know I would regret it in the morning." I paused. "Could we dance?" I asked. "Sure." Sean said as he took my hand and led me from the bathroom. We danced for what seemed like hours. It was actually a good way to work off all that emotional energy that I had pent up inside of me. After we finished dancing Sean escorted me to the bar and bought me a bottle of water. "You got pretty wild out there." Sean said with a laugh. "I know, I was pretty wound up." I said. "Are you feeling better?" Sean asked. "For the moment." I replied. "How long are going to stay?" Sean asked. "I'm ready to go now, I didn't really want to come, but I'm going to wait for my friend. I want to make sure he gets in safely." I explained. "That's what I like about you; you have that boy scout aura." Sean said with a smile. "I'll take that as a compliment." I said. "It is a compliment. I have always liked good guys." Sean smirked. "I can imagine what you like to do with nice, innocent boy scouts like me." I said sarcastically. He laughed, "I see you have some preconceived notions about me." Sean said. "Let's just say you have a certain `aura' too." I retorted. "Touche. You may not be as innocent as I assumed." Sean smiled. "Not if you assumed you were going to charm me out of my pants, no I'm not that naive." I said sharply. "That will just make it all the more fulfilling when you succumb to me." Sean said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Some people are confident and others, just arrogant, I think that you may be the latter." I said. "Steven, don't be unkind to me, it doesn't become you." Sean said. "You're right I am being a bit of an ass," I paused, "please forgive me." I said. "You are forgiven." Sean said. We talked for a few minutes further, I was nicer. Then, Michael interrupted us. "Hey, Steven." Michael said through ragged breath. "Michael, this is an acquaintance of mine, Sean." I said. "Nice to meet you." Sean said. "You too." Michael replied. "Have you been drinking?" I asked Michael. "Yes. I have had a few drinks." Michael replied. "Well, it's pretty late; I think we should head out." I suggested. "Alright." Michael said. "Sean, thanks for everything." I said. "Did you drive?" Sean asked. "No, we took a cab." I said. "I could give you a lift." Sean offered. "No, a cab will be fine." "It's no problem." Sean said. "I really don't think it would be appropriate." I said. "Come on Steven, don't be rude. The nice man wants to help." Michael said with a grin. "Yes, don't be rude." Sean said. "Fine." I relented. We decided to drop Michael off first. I walked him to his dorm room and bid him good night. Sean and I talked during the ride. Once we arrived at my building, I thanked Sean for his kindness. He offered to walk me in, but I told him I would be fine. As I ascended the stairs, I saw Blake. He was sitting on the landing of my floor. "I would ask you what you're doing here, but I expected as much." I said. "Why are you sitting out here?" I asked. "Under the circumstances I didn't think I should go in." He said. "Come on." I said as I passed him going toward the door. We entered the apartment and I took Blake's hand and led him to the bedroom. I started to undress and he did the same. We climbed into bed and faced one another. I reached out and ran my hand along the side of his face. "I'm sorry about the club, I had no right to follow you there, and make a scene." He said. "Why did you?" I asked. "Last night when you wouldn't let me make love to you I was upset, I felt rejected. And when I found the condoms in the nightstand I got paranoid, and then when I saw you talking to Sean, I just lost it." He paused. "Sean is very promiscuous. To think about him touching or even talking to you just pisses me off. I was jealous." He admitted. "We were just talking." I said softly. "I know. I shouldn't have suggested that you were sleeping around, I knew better, I can just feel us falling apart." He confessed. "I love you so much." I professed. "You are so perfect to me. I love your eyes. I love your touch. I love the way you smell. I love the way you take care of me." I paused. "When you came to the club and laid claim over me, a part of me was very pleased, I like it that you want me for yourself, but since you are with someone else, it doesn't seem fair." I explained. "It is unfair." He admitted. "Are you with him to hurt me?" I asked. "I wouldn't put it like that, but when you left, initially I was sad and then as more and more time passed I was angry, I didn't say I'm going to fuck Jonathan to get back at Steven, but it was probably a part of it. I'm not proud of it but it is true." He confessed. "So, you fucked Jonathan to fuck me." I said with a laugh. "You think that is funny?" He asked with a smile. "No, but I rather be laughing than crying." I explained. "You are so cute." He said. "You told me that Jonathan knows that you love me, and I assume he knows that we are still," I paused, "having sex or fucking, so why does he tolerate it." I asked. "First, I have had sex with and have fucked a lot of guys, but I have never done that with you." He said seriously. "What would you call it then Mr. Mitchell?" I asked sarcastically. "Why are you being such a jerk? You know that I love you and when we are together we make love." He paused. "I have never waited to be with anyone before you, and I always treat you gently." He ran his fingers across my lips. "You are my guy, my baby." He said softly. "You have really fucked me over." I said. "What?" He asked. "You just loved me too much, you treated me too good." I paused. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life comparing everyone to you, it's the ultimate revenge. You are a fucking diabolical genius." I laughed. "Why are you being such a jerk? All this sarcasm and profanity is not you." He said. "I'm sorry. I just know that in a couple of days this is really going to hurt. It's like now it's still surreal, I told you it's over but we are laying here together, but when it really sinks in, when I rush home and realize that you aren't here, I'm going to be crushed, and when I feel like I'm feeling now, powerless, it is easy to make stupid jokes and be sarcastic and curse, because really I want to cry." I confessed. "Come here baby." He said as he took my arm and guided me toward him. I lay in his arms with his head against my neck, "I wish you could forgive me for hurting you." I said. "You asked me how many drinks it takes for me to love you; it doesn't take anything for me to love you. I love you more than anyone else; when I drink it just makes it impossible for me to lie to myself about where I want to be." He paused. "I want to be with you, I want to forgive you, and trust you again, but I can't." He confessed. "I know." I said meekly. "It hurts to love this much." He paused. "You are all I think about, all the time I'm wondering what you are doing, and how you feel. Something happens and you are the first person I want to tell. Waking up without you in my arms is the hardest part of my day." He said softly. "When you were gone, it was like the oxygen left my world, I was miserable, and then I became angry." He said. "I left so I could get better, so I could be strong," I paused, "and I have lost you, and now I will have to be strong to cope with the loss." I said. "It's tragic irony." I laughed. "I don't want it to be over." He said. "Neither do I, but if we continue like this, we will end up resenting each other. I resent that you are with someone else." I paused. "I know your reasons for being with him, and they are completely understandable. I left you, I abandoned you. It was selfish of me to want you to put your life on hold and wait for me, when I couldn't even trust you with my secrets. I did what I felt I had to for me and I know you did what you felt you had to do to for you. But it still pisses me off." I confessed. "I feel like you are mine and no else should be with you." I said. "I am yours." He said. "Are you?" I asked. "Yes, I am." He replied. "You still haven't told me why Jonathan would tolerate this situation." I said. "He loves me, and he wants to be with me." He said. "Even though you love me and want to be with me, how could you be with someone who is willing to settle?" I asked pointedly. "It isn't that simple. He is a very nice guy." He said. "But you don't love him." I said. "I care about him, maybe I love him." He said. "I love a lot of people too, but I'm in love with you. You love this guy like a friend not a lover." I exclaimed. "I think we can have a decent life together." He said. "So, now you are settling too." I said. "I know he can't hurt me like you can, if things don't work out with him I will be okay." He confessed. "Well, that is a very rational way to look at it, sounds like an amazing relationship." I said sarcastically. "It is not perfect but we have an understanding." He said. "Well, maybe I can find some decent guy that is really fond of me, so I can experience the kind of joy that you and Jonathan share." I paused. "Or, maybe I will take this opportunity to just be with as many guys as I can, I mean become a real slut." I said with a laugh. Blake tightened his grip around my body, "Stop." He said. "Could you please loosen your grip, it hurts." I sighed. "Besides, I can't be all bruised, when I'm about to put this body on the market." I chuckled. "You are being a real asshole." He said. "I know." I sighed. "This is going to be so hard. I'm going to miss you so much." I exclaimed. "Maybe we will be able to find our way back to each other." He said. "Like a Jane Austen story." I said. "If that would mean we end up together." He said. "What are you going to miss about me?" I asked. "Your sense of humor. Your honesty, you say what you feel, and it's genuine. You make me want to take care of you. I love being with you, it just feels right." He said. "I want you inside me." I said. "The lube is on your side." He said. "I don't want to move. Use your spit, I don't mind." I said. He repositioned my legs and slid inside me. "Do you want to make love?" He asked. "Not yet, I just want to have you in me." I said. We lay there in a near fetal position. Blake had his arms wrapped around my chest and had one of his draped over me. The heat from our bodies was trapped between us, singeing our bare skin. We lay like that until the sun came up. "Are you hungry?" He asked. "Yes." I replied. "I could make those blueberry pancakes you like." He said. "That sounds good. I'll make sausage and eggs, maybe some hash browns." I said. "I would like that." He said. "I don't want to move." I confessed. "Come on baby, I have to piss." He said and nuzzled my neck. He withdrew from me and we both headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, while he urinated, and then we switched positions. I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. He stepped in behind me and wrapped his arms around my chest. "I love you baby." He whispered in my ear. "I love you too." I replied. "So, who goes first?" He asked. "Well, you usually start, so let me clean you first this time." I suggested. "Okay." He said as he tightened his grip around me and took my ear in his mouth. Once he released me from his grasp, we changed positions. I moved behind him and he stepped closer to the nozzle. I stood there and watched the hot water cascade down his body, infiltrating his golden mane, darkening it's hue with its presence, fusing the strands together. Then it streamed down his back rolling over his muscled ass to his thighs and legs until finally reaching the heels of his feet. I watched as he ran his long fingers through his liquefied hair, expelling some of the moisture, then shaking his head, sending droplets of water through the air, some of which descended upon my own skin. I watched him slowly turn around, exposing his perfect pectorals and abdomen, and his beautiful crotch. I stood there and realized that this may be the last time that I would ever see him like this, the last time that I would clean his body as if it were my own. The last time I would stand here before him completely naked, body and soul. I was becoming overwhelmed, things had just happened so quickly, one day I was fantasizing about him on the bus, the next I was laying naked in his arms, and now it was all but over. My head began to spin, as by body filled with emotion. I felt sick. Blake must have noticed my distress, because he stepped close to me, "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked sincerely. I looked up into the pretty emerald eyes that had become such a big part of my life, "This may be the last shower we ever take together." I paused. "When you are gone who is going to wash my back?" I said trying to muster a laugh. "Or tell me they love me, or hold me at night." I took a desperate breath attempting to choke back the tears, but I was unsuccessful. "Come here baby." Blake said as opened his arms. I stepped into his embrace and buried my head in his wet chest. I stayed there for a moment, "I am sorry, I want this to be a happy time. I said I would start, so l am." I said. I composed myself and proceeded to clean his body, from head to toe. Blake returned the favor with zeal. Aside from the brief emotional outburst, it was a nice experience. I always loved having his hands about my body, exploring every part of me, and it was so fulfilling to feel him tense and relax as I caressed him, softly moaning as I reached those special places. After we showered, we went to the kitchen to cook breakfast. Blake suggested that we not dress and I agreed. He made blueberry pancakes and I cooked sausage, eggs, and hash browns. It was so routine, us together, cooking and laughing, just that common feeling of safety and warmth. We sat at the table and ate breakfast; Blake even cut my pancakes for me and feed me the first bite. There was little conversation during our meal, but there was lots of gazing and hand holding. Once we finished eating we began to wash the dishes. I washed, he rinsed and dried. After the dishes were cleaned I went about wiping down the counters. As I continued my cleaning, Blake stepped behind me and encased me with his arms. "Have I told you that I love you?" He whispered. "You may have mentioned it." I said with a smile. "May have, well if you are not sure I must not have said it enough." He paused. "I love you Steven Matthew Greene. I love you. I love you baby." He said. "They say talk is cheap." I said playfully. "Oh really?" He asked. "I hear that actions speak louder than words." I declared. "Okay." He said as he turned me around and kissed me on the lips. "Well, that is a good start." I said with a smile. "How about I accelerate my efforts?" He asked flirtatiously. "Do you think there is something you can do to convince me of your love?" I asked seductively. "I think there is something I can do." He said confidently as he groped himself. "How disgusting Mr. Mitchell, and in the kitchen, ah, it is just appalling." I said in a mortified voice. He reached out and grabbed my cock. "Someone likes it." He said with a smirk. "I assure you that that is purely a result of outrage." I contended. "Oh really? So if I were to knell down and give it a taste, you would still be outraged?" He asked flirtatiously. "Outraged would be an understatement." I said. He stepped forward and dropped to his knees. He pushed me against the counter and started to suck my hardening cock. I gasped. "Blake! Stop." I exclaimed. He pulled his head from my cock, "What? You don't like it?" He asked playfully. "Yes, but not in the kitchen." I said. "Come on baby, it will be fun." He said as he resumed his course. "I just cleaned in here." I protested. "I'll clean up the mess baby, promise." He said. He continued to suck my cock, harder and harder. He had me so aroused. I closed my eyes tightly and tweaked my nipple. It felt so good. I leaned back onto the counter as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me. This went on for a while, before he turned me around and started at my ass. He instructed me to squat down so he could have better access to my hole. Then he began to fuck me with his hot tongue, thrusting in and out of me at a frenzied pace. I was moaning deeply. Finally, Blake rose to his feet, abandoning my hole. He stood behind me and pushed me down on to the counter. Then I heard him spit and soon he was pressed against my entry. I took a deep breath and pushed out as he pushed in. He impaled me slowly. Once he was fully inside, he let it rest there. I laid there on the counter waiting for him to proceed. He started slowly, but before long he was thrusting into me at a rapid speed. We both were moaning and I was thrashing my head about. Blake lifted me from the cold counter top and held me close against his body. He licked and kissed my neck, and then reached down and stroked my cock. Then he wrapped his arms around my chest and slowly led me over to the dining table. He pulled out of me and turned me around. He began to lift me onto the table. I resisted. "Come on baby, get up." He said. "But." I said. "Don't worry about it." He said as he sat me on the table. He pulled me to the edge of the table and pushed his cock back inside of me. Shortly after, he had resumed his vigorous pace. He was going really fast and hard, constantly brushing over my prostate and hitting that special spot. It was all happening so fast. I was moaning and writhing about. I reached down to stroke my cock and before long I was shooting cum all over my chest. It did not take long for Blake to follow suit. He filled me with rope after rope of cream. I looked up at him and he had this look of self-satisfaction, as he pulsed inside me. "Did you like that baby?" He asked with a confident smirk, through ragged breath. "It was okay." I said. "Just okay?" He asked. "Yeah." I said. "Well, the way you moaned and called my name, I thought you loved it." He said with the same devilish smirk. "You are such a prick." I declared. "A big one too." He said as he moved his softening cock in my ass. "You're the man baby. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I asked playfully. "Yes, that is more like it." He said with a laugh. "Okay, stud, what do you want to do next?" I asked. "Rest up and do it again." He announced. I laughed, "Well, rest is a good idea. I am very tired." I confessed. "Yeah, me too, we hardly got any sleep last night." He said. "So, a nap?" I asked. "Yes." He said. "Okay, well." I said. "Well, what?" He asked. "Pull out soldier, so I can get down." I instructed. "No." He retorted. "No?" I asked. "Come, here I'll carry you to bed." He said. "I think I am a little heavy to be carried." I protested. "Come here, I'll show you what I can do." He said with a smile. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me from the table and carried me to our room. He held me for a while. "Do you still doubt me?" He asked. "No sir, you are my strong, sexy stud." I proclaimed. "That is more like it." He said. He laid me on the bed and then climbed in himself. We lay in bed for a few minutes trying to go to sleep. Then we turned on the television. I went to the bathroom and washed up. When I returned, Blake had dosed off. I turned off the television and climbed into bed. I moved close to him and laid my head on his chest. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, and then he wrapped his arm around me. Soon we were both asleep. ****************************************************************************** Acknowledgement: We all go through those difficult periods and I just want to let anyone know, who doesn't already know, that there is always hope and that all storms pass. Sometimes you just have to hang though and wait, but the storm always passes and the sun does come out. I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge a friend of mine who has been going through a rough patch. I just want him to know that I think he is smart, delightfully honest, kind, capable, and very sexy. Khalid this one is for you sir. We all deserve to be loved and to be happy, and I sincerely hope that we all reach a point where we attain both. ****************************************************************************** Appreciation: Special thanks to Oscar, Lou, Arch, Clayton, Jake, Ed, Adolfo, Khalid, Gary, Vern, Lance, Oz, Dudung, Alan, Terry, John J, Barry, Liam, Fred, Joseph, Shawn, Bill, Raziya, Tom, JT and Mikal for their support, and everyone who has taken the time to follow this story, I really appreciate you all. Sincerest thanks to Nifty and all of the wonderful participants who make this site possible, from the generous donors to the archivists and administrators, you all are truly appreciated. ****************************************************************************** Let Me Know: Please, forward any comments or feedback to bonotorros@yahoo.com.