Date: Sun, 10 Mar 2002 09:28:52 -0800 (PST)
From: jimmy allen <ja1331@yahoo.com>
Subject: someone in my life part 5

			Someone In My Life Part IV

			      by: Jimmy Allen

Well this is part 5 of this story. I had a major setback the other day. I
felt like the old me. Even people that were to come to my aid didn't relize
the state of my existance until it was to late. It took me almost a week to
get back to the new me and live life again. In the meantime I started
writing this again. When I write I feel so much better. I guess putting
everything down does that to me.  When I wrote the last chapter it was to
be the final chapter. I had gotten all my thought and ideas out in the open
so the whole world could see. I gave credit where credit was due. But, then
I stated to get all these nice emails telling me the story had to continue.
People wanted to know about other people involved. They said things like
A.J. would have wanted the story to continue. So I will give it a chance to
go on. I would appreciate your comments at ja1331@yahoo.com.

_____________________________________________________________________

This story is about teens who let fate take them to each other. It is pure
fiction and maybe a part of my fantasy. There is some sex involved here, so
if its not to your tastes or your underage then please leave now. This is
my first story so email your comments to me at ja1331@yahoo.com. I will
reply to comments but flames will be ignored. I hope you like this story.
________________________________________________________________________


"Scott?"

I had known Scott for a couple years. We had met in New Orleans. He was a
nice old man, forty something, that I seemed to be able to talk
to. Whenever I had a problem or question I would go to Scott. After all my
dad was never there for me. Scott would get me through the tough times. He
never wanted anything in return. We became very good friends.

But after all, what the hell was he doing here? Its only 3:00 in the
morning. I sure didn't want to talk to him right now or anyone else for
that matter. But I was afraid that he would never leave and would continue
to knock until I got up to answer the door. I made my way to the door and
opened it.

"What are you doing here" I had to ask?

Scott said, "well I know you, and I know this has been hard on you and I
thought you could use some one to talk to".

"Yes I know, but its early in the morning. Don't you have a life" I asked?

He said "yes I do, but I think I am needed here."

I let him into the house and told him to take a seat. The first thing he
done was to see the gun.

"What is this all about" he asked.

"Its nothing" I stated.

He said "well it looks like something to me. What was you going to do? Kill
yourself? Man its not worth all that. Don't you know that that is not the
way to do things."

I just sat there listening. Well not really listening. I was still upset
and very depressed. I didn't want him to find out about this. I wanted it
to all be over with by now. But no, he had to come here in the middle of
the night and try and stop me. What gives him that right? If I want to kill
myself then its my choice not his. I was starting to get upset with the way
this was going.

He continues " you know jimmy, there is alot of things and people out
there, that are bad. Some worse then others. But there are good things
too. You might not think so right now, but there are. You had someone that
you loved and cared for and now he is gone. But you have to look at the
bright side and think about the good you two had.  Would he want you doing
this"?

I stared at him for a second and then said "right now there is no good in
my life. I would just as soon end it as to go on. I see nothing worth
living for".

He took my hand and held it in his. He said "listen to me. I thought the
same once upon a time. Then you know Peter came into my life. He is like an
angel to me. We were made for each other. If I would have given up back
then I would not be here to be with him. You had someone too, but I know
you, you can find someone again".

I just started crying again. I hated myself and I hated life. I felt I had
no reason to go on. What could there posibly be that would be good right
now. The only good I could see was to get it over with and then I would not
have to worry about anything anymore. I just sat there and cried. I don't
know how long I sat there, but later I woke up. I had cried myself to sleep
leaning against Scott. I know it felt good to wake up leaning against his
warm body.

As I started to stir I felt him move too. I looked up into his eyes. I
could see a smile on his face. I was so depressed tho I simply looked
away. I tried to get up. He pulled my back down.

Scott said "look, I know how you feel, but you have to get over this. I am
not leaving here until I know you are feeling better."

I told him that he could not stay here for the rest of my life. I knew it
would be over soon if I had a chance, but I didn't want him knowing that. I
pulled myself away and stood up. He let me go. I went into the kitchen to
get something to drink. It had been a long week. I stood there in the
kitchen and looked around. I could see the coffee pot. I thought that just
last week there would have been fresh coffee in it made by A.J. Breakfast
would be almost ready. All it did was make my even more sad. I felt
someone's arms around me. I knew who's they were.

I turned towards him and just let loose again. He just held me until I
stopped crying again. What was wrong with me? This was not like me. I was
never this emotional. I had to get a grip. I worked my way away from him. I
went back into the living room. I looked but the gun was now gone. I looked
back towards the kitchen and Scott was standing there. It was like he read
my mind.

He says "I took it and put it in my car. That way I do not have to worry
about you. Like I told you I will help you get through this. I told Peter
that I might be gone for a few days and bless his heart he knew what I
meant and let me go. He knew that I was needed here and told me just to
take my time. Thats what I love about him. We have been together all this
time and we still love each other and trust each other fully".

He came over to me to hold me. We just fell to the sofa. He put his arms
around me to hold me. I melted into his arms. We sat there like that for a
long time. Neither one of us spoke. We didn't need to. I felt secure and
knew he would be there for me when I needed him. Even tho I knew him for
awhile I would never have dreamed that he was this kind of a man. So gentle
and so understanding. He did make me feel better. I knew he could never
replace my A.J., but it was nice to know he was there and that he cared.

After a while he finally spoke. "Jimmy why don't you come stay with Peter
and I for a few days. The new area would be good for you".

I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get me there so he could
keep an eye on me. He knew me better than I knew me. He knew I would try
something again. It wasn't like it was a new area, after all I had been
there many times. But I thought that it might be nice to get away from here
for a few days. Maybe take my mind off things. I packed a couple things and
he made a phone call. He told Peter what was happening and that we would be
there soon. We left soon after.

When we got there Peter met us at the door. Of course he had to come to me
and give me a hug. Thats what I liked about him. He could open his heart to
anyone and welcome them into his life. I knew him from before also, but we
hardly ever seen each other. He leaves some times to go on these trips and
usually is not there when I come to visit. Still it was never a problem
with him.  On those times when I did come to their house, I was welcome
like anyone else was. I was never treated like a threat to either of them
and I liked him for that.

I was taken to the guess room and got settled in. A minute later there was
a knock on the door. I went to open it and they were both standing
there. They wanted to know if I was hungry and what I wanted to eat. I told
them both that indeed I was hungry but didn't feel like eating. They both
said nonsense and they were taking me to a fancy restraunt. I told them no
that that was not necessary. I would not feel comfortable doing that. They
both told me that was tough that that was what was going to happen. They
told me to go get a shower and be ready in thirty minutes. I looked at them
both with pleading eyes. They just smiled and said "go".

I went to take my shower knowing I did not want to do this.  I did not feel
like going anywhere fancy. After all my life was ruined. Why would I want
to go out and celebrate and eat on the town? After the shower I got dressed
and went to the living room where they both were sitting.

They both were already dressed and ready to go. We went to this nice
restraunt in the Quarter. Thats what I liked about this town. You can
always find a good place to eat.  The meal was good and the conversation
was okay.  I was not very talkative, but I listened well.  They were
talking to me alot and I had a hard time concentrating. I answered all
their questions as best I could. After the meal we went back home. They
wanted to take me places but I didn't feel like going anywhere. They seemed
to sence it and we left for home.

Getting home we sat and started to talk. Peter came over to me and sat by
me giving me a hug. He was so warm and soft I could not help it. I melted
into his arms. I looked over at Scott and he just smiled back. How could
these guys do all this for me and not feel like I was cheating on them? If
someone would have done that to my A.J. I would have felt jealous. Just the
thought of his name made me teary eyed again. Peter senced it and held me
even tighter. I could not belive this. I had lost the best thing in my life
and here I was getting the hugs and support I thought I had lost
forever. How could these two guys who were lovers and life long friends be
this nice to me?  I didn't deserve this.  I didn't do anything for either
of them. Sure we were friends, but that was all. I hadn't givin them
anything in return ever for all this love and affection. I finally got
ahold of myself and pulled away a little. I sat up and looked at them both.

It was making me wonder. I had to ask. "Why are you guys being so nice to
me? I do not deserve this. I will owe you forever for all this love you are
showing me".

They both went to speak at once then Scott started talking. " I told you
earlier, I used to be just like this and someone came into my life and
changed it forever. Now there is a chance to help you and I feel like I
should. Everyone needs a second chance."

Peter added "Scott and I are best friends and lovers as you know. We have
been through alot together. I brought him back from depression too. I know
how hard it is when things go wrong. You feel like life is not worth it
anymore.  But you know life is worth it. If I would not have Scott right
now I don't know what I would do. He has been a miracle in my life and I
want to spread the joy we have to everyone possible.  The thing is you have
to get on with your life. You have to get a grip.  You have to find someone
else that makes you happy."

Yea right. I had someone but now I don't. I didn't feel like looking
again. I didn't look the first time, it just happened.

The three of us sat there and talked for the longest. Before we knew it, it
was late. We decided it was time to turn in. I went to the guest room and
started changing for bed. I was feeling better about myself, but still felt
a lonely spot in my heart. How could this be like this? I was here in this
house with two loving people and had no one for myself. Then I thought
about how selfish that was. I was not upset because they had each other. I
was upset because I had no one. I layed there in that nice warm bed and
just started thinking. I thought again about all the good times we used to
have. How I used to have a nice warm body next to me. How we used to have
good times going places. How nice it was just to sit and hold him and not
even have to talk at all. I started to get them tears again.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I told them to come in, like I knew
they both would be there. They asked if I was ok. They had to come and give
a reassuring hug goodnight and tell me that they were glad I was there. It
was just such a nice thing to do. I felt the warmth that these two guys
could give. They sat on the bed and we talked for a little while
longer. They asked if I was going to be alright. It was like they knew I
was going to make it, but just needed time. After all how could everything
be alright. I had just lost the love of my life. They both left soon
after. I was left in the dark to think about everything again. I layed
there for the longest before I finally fell asleep.

I awoke the next morning to the smell of breakfast. Wow I thought, just
like home. But, there wasn't going to be these nice smells at my house
unless I did it myself. I started to feel bad again. I decided I was not
going to let it get to me so easy. I went to take a shower. I had to get
control of myself. I had been laying around feeling depressed long
enough. I had to get things going again. But, How? I knew things could not
get any worse. Or could they?

As I was taking my shower I just let myself relax. I soaped myself up and
let the warm water wash over me. For some reason I started to get hard. Wow
I thought this is unusal. I started to think that indeed this was the first
time since he has been gone. It had been a little over a week and I had not
gotten hard once. I was not in the mood tho so I simply washed myself and
got out. I told myself that there would be time for that later. Right now I
was hungry and wanted some breakfast.

Over breakfast we talked again about different things. Peter had to leave
again today because of a meeting in another city. He was always on the
go. But thats what happens when you become a big executive. We sat there
and eat and talked some more until Peter said he had to go finish packing
and get dressed.

That left me and Scott. I told him I thought I would go back home today. He
looked at me with that, I don't think so look. But, I simply told him that
I decided I had to get things back to normal. Whatever normal now meant. He
told me that he didn't think I was ready yet. After all I had been away
from my house for only one day. Besides Peter was leaving and that would
leave him all alone for a couple days. I told him I know, but he has his
own business to run. I had to try to get things back together. I had to
call my work and let them know when I would be back. There was so much I
could do. After all I had wasted more than a week already. I told him I
know I will still be depressed alot and when ever I felt that way I would
call him. He looked at me like there is no way.

He got up and came over to me to give me a hug. Damn, I thought, I could
get used to this. He was so strong and I felt like a young boy again with
him hugging me like this. I had to hug him back. I looked up to see Peter
standing off the side with a smile on his face. Of course that meant he had
to come over and hug me too. Here I was being hugged by two guys I only
knew for a couple years and they were better for me then my whole
family. We stayed like that for a couple minutes. When we broke away we
each just stood there and looked at one another.

We told Peter about me decision to go back home today. He seemed
surprised. He told me that that was not necessary and I could stay as long
as I wanted to. I told him I knew but thought it best to try to get going
again.

Just then the taxi blew its horn and Peter ran off to get his bags. After
giving me a hug and Scott a very sexy kiss and a hug he was out the door.

We watched it pull away and drive out of sight.

Scott turned to me and asked me when I thought I wanted to get going. I
told him to let me get my things and we could go now. He said ok and off I
went.

We drove to my house and dropped everything off. He had to come in for a
few minutes. I got us something to drink and sat down. We started to
talking again. It was like he knew it would be hard and assured me that if
I needed anything at anytime to let him know. All I had to do was call and
he would be there in little over an hour. I thanked him for everything and
told him that he was the best friend that a person could ask for. I told
him I would definately call him if I needed anything. He seemed very
reluctant to leave me but after talking for several minutes he decided that
I would be ok.

I watched him get in his car and leave. I thought about him as I stood
there in the doorway. He had everything going for him. He had a wonderful
person in his life and a wonderful business and things were going great. I
decided then and there that I would have to have the same one day. I lost
my lover but I was sure I had to find someone or something to keep me
going. But in the meantime I would remember my A.J. and the good times we
had. I would never be able to forget him.

I went to my answering machine to see if I had any messages. Of course the
damn thing was blinking. I listened to the messages. Usual junk, Work and
then my friend from the police. Seemed they caught some guy who appearantly
done the robbery. Seems he boasted to one of his friends and they turned
him in. Some friend huh? He told me to call him as soon as I could.

I called right away. I wanted to know what he knew. He started telling me
about it all. It turned out to be some guys who did work there once upon a
time. He had been fired for not showing up often enough. When he meantioned
the name I had heard of it, but could not place it. He told me that he
worked there before A.J. did and he used to come around once in a while
after he got fired to try and get his job back. In fact, he says, A.J. was
the last one to tell him no. It seemed the man who owned the place wanted
nothing more to do with him and told A.J. that the next time he came around
to tell him to stop wasting his time. That the boss was not going to hire
him back. It seemed the robber was upset after that and vowed to get even
with the owner. He stated that he was hoping that morning that the boss
would be there. We talked for a good while and then said our goodbyes. I
hung up the phone feeling better knowing they had caught the guy. I was
hoping he would rot in hell for what he did. It made me mad to know that a
person could do this to innocent people just for hate.

I called work and told them I would take a couple more days off to get
things together and then I would be back. The boss said that was fine, in
fact they hadn't expected me to call yet for at least another week. He said
he knows it takes time and if I decided I needed more to let him know. Wow,
I thought, what a nice place to work. Most places would have had a fit by
now. I had been gone for a little over a week and they expected me to be
gone more. I thanked the boss and hung up.

I started to get things put away. I needed to do some laundry. I hadn't
been doing anything for so long that things seems to have piled up. Then
there was the thought of going through A.J.'s stuff. Where would I put it?
What would I do with it? I decided that I would leave it all there where it
was and to just look at it all. That way I could have him there with me
even tho he is not there. I could still smell his scent on things. I picked
up his pillow and smelled it. Damn that was intoxicating. It made me want
to start crying again. But, I decided I wouldn't right now. I have to much
to do. Just as I went to put the pillow back down in his spot I relizes I
was hard again. Wow he could always do that to me. It started to again make
me feel bad. I would have liked to hold him right now and to feel his warm
body next to mine but it was not to be. I decided I wanted to get away for
a little while.

I went and took a shower and changed into new clothes. Just as I was about
to walk out the door the phone rang. It was Peter. Seems he was calling
from New York. He wanted to know if I was alright. We talked briefly in
which I told him things were fine and that I was coping. He told me that if
I need anything to call Scott and he would help me. I told him I knew that
already in which case he simply laughed and said good bye. After hanging up
I left to go out.

Not sure where I wanted to go I simply left. I drove around a while and
then stopped by the beach. I always liked the beach. I used to come here
all the time when I first moved here. Then when A.J. came along we used to
go there alot. I got out of my car and started walking down to the waters
edge. It was low tide, so you could walk way out there. I walked out until
it got to my waste then decided that that was far enough and wandered back
to shore. The water felt good. Getting back to shore I relised I didn't
have a towel. Oh well, I would drip dry. I went to one of the pier looking
things and sat down. It wasn't a pier really. Just a wooden platform that
was build on the edge of the bank next to the road. It was to give people a
place to come from the street to the beach without stepping off the bank
and maybe hurting themselfs. It had steps on each end to get down to the
beach. As I sat there I noticed that under there was like a hideout. It was
a place that was concelled and a person could probably go until there and
no one would know you were even there. I thought I would give it a try. I
went under and get up next to the bank and looked out. This was neat. It
was like my old hangout in my younger years. I sat there for a long time
just watching the people go by and the waves coming on shore. Not that we
had big waves, because we didn't. After all the Gulf of Mexico didn't give
off alot of waves unless there was a storm coming. I kept looking and
watching and no one seemed to notice me. Wow I thought this was neat. I
could sit here forever and no one would know. I noticed several nice
looking guys walking around but I was not interested in them. Before I knew
it it was dark. I had sat there most of the day.

I got myself up and back to the car for my journey home. Yea like 3 miles
to home. Quite a journey I thought. When I made it home the phone was
ringing. Getting in quickly I went to answer it. It was Scott. He was just
wondering where I was and how I was doing. I told him I was fine and told
him about the day. He listened for awhile and then said ok, he was just
worried. I told him I know what he means but, I am fine. I told him not to
worry so much.

His reply was, "yea right".

We talked for a little while and then said out goodbyes. I was really
feeling hungry at this time. I relised I hadn't eated since this morning. I
went and fixed me something simple while turning on the tv. I watched some
and then decided I was tired and went to bed.

After getting my clothes off and laying down I took his pillow and held
it. I held it just I would have liked to be holding him. It smelled of him
and my mind started to wonder.

Before I knew it I was hard again.
______________________________________________________________________


Well thats the next part. What you think? Sorry no sex again, but use your
mind. I just wanted to tell you people what nice people I do have in my
life. Some times they are not there, but most of the time they
are. Needless to say after Scott read this Part I got a nice hug. Of course
Peter could not be left out either. We had to have a group hug. Yes, they
do. They both read these stories. They have no say in what I write, cause I
feel it should come from the heart. I can't let people tell me what to
say. I am to stubborn for that. Today I am sitting here having just
finished this chapter and feel so much better. Last week was one of the
worse in a while. But, as always I am bouncing back. Like they say you
can't keep a good horse down. Haha, well something like that. Tell you more
of this story if you want. Please let me know. As for now, take care my
friends. And parents listen to your kids, THEY do have something to say. I
wish mine would have listened to me back then. And Kids, Yea I know you
read this even tho you are not suppost to, Talk to your parents. Make them
listen. They might not agree and they might not let you have your way but
they at least need to hear what you have to say. After all someone's life
might depend on it. Mine almost did!!!!!!