Date: Sun, 28 Apr 2002 21:28:27 -0000
From: shakes d <shakes003@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Taking of Jakob (Part 8)--Beginnings

****
This work is copyrighted by the author and may not be reproduced in any
form without the specific written permission of the author--yadda yadda. It
is assigned to the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission
agreement and may not be copied or archived on any other site without the
written permission of the author--that being me, people.

DISCLAIMER:  This is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to those living
or dead is not intentional, and is completely coincidental. All feedback is
appreciated-send your thoughts and feelings to shakes003@hotmail.com, and
I'll do my best to get back to ya!  Peace, out folks!
****

I gazed at Jakob's face through the moonlight, as he became very drowsy
from the emotional ride he had just been through with me. He was clutching
tightly at my hand as he struggled to stay awake, but I had pulled the
covers up over his body and began to stroke his soft waves in an effort to
soothe him. He officially delegated me to be his protector from now on, and
I wore the title on my heart with pride. He chose me--from the moment he
ran out beaten and torn from the church to call me to come and get him. He
had chosen me to be his. I was his.

Jakob's eyelids drew heavy, and eventually he gave into the weight of them
and drifted off to sleep. I continued my gentle petting of his hair while I
tried to swallow what he had desperately been trying to keep from everyone
for months. The rape hadn't been just a random occurrence by someone
unknown. It had been perpetrated by someone Jakob had known since he was a
little boy--by someone he trusted and regarded as a friend.

I rehashed in my mind what Jakob had told me--how lost and alone he felt
after his parent's death, and how much comfort he felt from his church. He
felt closer to his mom and dad by being there and so he went everyday. I
could still hear his voice shaking as he explained how it happened--how
someone he trusted so much fed on his vulnerability and innocence and
subjected Jakob to unspeakable things--in the church, no less. My head was
swimming as I pictured Jakob searching for a phone with no clothes, and
barely any strength left. I replayed in my mind, his frantic phone call to
me--crying and pleading for me to come find him in that alley behind the
church. I remembered how I found him.

My body racked with sobs as I tried to fight back the tears, but failed
miserably. I pressed my face against Jakob's, and clutched his body tightly
to mine. I promised him I'd protect him. I promised him that nobody would
ever hurt him like that again. I promised him that I would get revenge. I
promised.

****

"Bryan, what's up, buddy?" I felt Mark squeeze my shoulder before he sat
next to me on the bench outside. I didn't answer; I only looked down at my
lettuce and tomato sandwich with disinterest.

"Bryan, man. What's been going on?"

I shook my head wordlessly, and tossed my untouched sandwich back into my
lunchbox. I looked out across the parking lot of the shop and watched the
puddles ripple from the light breeze that was blowing on this relatively
warm Friday afternoon. Winter was finally fading, and I could smell spring
in the light wind that moved against my face. Winter was fading, but the
memories from it remained.

Two months ago I made a promise to Jakob that I would put his demons to
rest, but as we lay there in each others arms, and I listened to him as he
struggled to choke out his story, I felt overcome. Since then I tried to
fight back images of what had been done to Jakob and what he was forced to
do. Since then, my heart had been filled with such rage and hate, that I
barely had any room in it for anything else. I knew Jakob could sense it,
and although I knew it wasn't fair to Jakob, I kept him at a distance from
me. I never realized I could be filled with such ugliness, and I didn't
want that ugliness to touch him. Inside, I felt as if I was dying. I
promised revenge, but in reality I knew it was impossible without some form
of penance. I felt like I had betrayed Jakob.

"Bryan," Mark urged me out of my thoughts.

"I'm having problems." It was barely a whisper that escaped from my
mouth. "I...I don't know what to do..." I broke down and buried my head in
my arms, the reality hitting me like a freight train. I felt Mark gently
rubbing my back with his hand; his voice was very gentle.

"Bryan, what's wrong, man. I know I'm a dipshit most of the time, but talk
to me anyway. You've been acting strange for months, now. The guys have
been worried."

I chuckled slightly at the 'dipshit' part. He was a dipshit, but somehow
redeemed himself through the gesture he was giving me now. I looked at him
through my tears and nodded. I needed to talk. I cautiously told him about
finding Jakob in the alley, and what had been done to him. He watched me
carefully as I explained my need for revenge, and nodded slowly when I
explained all of the hatred that lived inside of me because of what
happened. I talked of how life was eating me up inside, and how everything
was taking its toll on my 'friendship' with Jakob. Through it all, Mark
wore the face of someone who understood. His hand roamed around my back
gently, and he finally spoke up after my rambling.

"Bryan, may I ask you a personal question?"

"Go for it." I answered without deliberation of what the question might be.

"Are you gay?"

"What do you think, Mark?" I didn't flinch.

"Well, to be honest, I'm confused. I mean that night at the bar you went
home with that girl. But your friend, this Jakob kid, and the way you two
looked at each other--it made me wonder. And the way he got pissed off at
you and took off that night. And the way you talk about him." Mark looked
at me thoughtfully. "What gives, Bryan?"

"I don't know what I am, Mark. I'm me. That's all I know."

"So you two...y'know?" I didn't know whether to thump Mark's skull, or
laugh at the ridiculousness of his question. I shook my head in disgust.

"Would you like a home movie, Mark?" His sudden interest in my relationship
with Jakob was becoming irritating.

Mark shook his head and continued to rub my back. "How old is he? I mean,
how long have you two been together?"

"He'll be 19 in a couple of weeks. We've been friends since he was 16.  He
used to go to school with Jordan. That's how I met him."

"Christ, Bryan. He's just a baby." Mark was snickering.

"He's my baby." I whispered wholeheartedly, and smiled for the first time
in weeks. Mark shifted slightly, like he was uncomfortable and we sat in
silence for a few minutes.

"So, who did it?" Mark broke the silence. I could feel my stomach turn to
ice, and I wanted to throw up.

"Father Martin." The name and the image of him doing unspeakable things to
Jakob burned me to the core. Jakob had been so innocent--a perfect target
for someone looking to cause damage.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! A PRIEST?" Mark was incredulous. I looked at him
angrily as his voice was carrying across the grounds and I didn't want
anyone to hear our conversation. Mark looked around nervously, and piped
down. "A fuckin' priest, Bryan? How sick is that?"

"Thank you, Mark. You don't have to remind me."

"Call the fucking cops, man." He suggested, but I was shaking my
head. "What do you mean? Don't give me that shit, Bryan. That bastard
belongs behind bars."

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" I yelled in desperation, and then struggled
to collect myself. "Jakob don't want to press charges. The pig knew his
parents for Christ's sake. He's known him since he was a little
kid. Jakey's scared of him. He thinks nobody's gonna believe him, and that
this prick will get off and come after him."

"He's known him since he was little? Do you think this is the first time,
Bryan?" The thought hadn't even crossed my mind until Mark had asked me the
question. I shrugged and shook my head as an answer. I had no idea if this
was the first and only time Jakob had been abused by that monster.

"You can't let him get away with this."

"I don't know what to do." I said helplessly, and buried my head back in my
arms and started crying again.

"Bryan, I don't know, man. It'll be someone else's son, daughter, or
boyfriend next week. You know what I'm saying? We can't let this
motherfucker get away with that."

"We?" I looked up at Mark, and he grinned at me. I knew Mark was right.

"You look like shit. You should go home, Bryan. I'll cover for you. Go home
and be with Jakob."

"Mark, I can take care of myself." I said bitterly as I closed up my
lunchbox.

"Go home, Bryan." Something in Mark's voice made me look at him. His eyes
were hard and his face read something that he knew and I did not.

"Mark..." I started, but he cut me off.

"Bryan, go home to Jakob. I'll tell the boss you ain't feelin' good and had
to knock off early."

"I'm fine."

"Trust in me, Bryan. Go home. I'll call you later."

I looked him in uncertainty and he nodded his head towards my car. I
started to say something, but Mark shook his head and got up from the
bench. I grabbed my lunchbox, stood up and looked at Mark again. I shrugged
my shoulders and slowly wandered off to my Monte Carlo.

I noticed the familiar white sedan that was parked in my usual spot as I
pulled my car up into my driveway along side of it. My stomach turned
slightly at the thought of the visitor--my own guilt surfacing as a result
of my admission of self-absorption. I wondered and guessed at the comments
I would have to endure regarding my selfishness as I walked up the steps to
the front door. 'I live in my own world' I thought to myself. Part of the
real world had come to visit.

I left my jacket and boots at the landing as I habitually do, and
cautiously made my way into the kitchen clutching my lunchbox. There I saw
Jakob with his head buried in my mother's shoulder as they sat beside each
other at the kitchen table. As I walked quietly into the kitchen dazed and
confused, Jakob sat upright and hurriedly wiped his eyes as my mother
pushed back his hair.

"There he is, sweetie. Why don't you go clean yourself up." My mother
instructed Jakob before giving him a motherly peck on his cheek and sending
him on his way. I inspected my surroundings to make sure I hadn't been
transplanted into an episode of the Twilight Zone. Everything seemed to be
in its place. I looked at my mother who was gazing at me suspiciously.

"Bryan, what on earth is going on? Oh, look at you." My mother began her
lecture but then became distracted by my post-machine shop appearance. She
began combing my hair frantically with her fingers and was wiping dirt and
oil off of my face. "Really, Bryan. You're so handsome, I wish you'd take
better care of yourself."

"Mom..." I grabbed her hands in embarrassment, and placed them at her
sides. "Why are you here, mom?"

She was gazing at my hair still, and had to stop herself from trying to
arrange it again. "Is it a crime for a mother to be curious about her only
son? I mean, it's like you've disappeared, Bryan. Nobody has heard a word
from you." My mother's face was turning flushed, and I was worried the
conversation would end up in a fight like the majority of them usually do.

"I'm sorry, mom. I just got caught up with life. I'm sorry."

"Well, I brought you dinner." My mother walked to my fridge and opened
it. "I made a roast last night so I brought all of the leftovers over for
you and Jakob." She then closed the door and turned back to face me.

"He's such a darling, Bryan. He always was. Really, I wish you would have
told us sooner."

"Wha...what?" My eyes were about to pop out of my head.

"Frankly, your father and I are happy with the arrangement. He is quite a
step up from those tramps you usually bring home." My mother proceeded to
put her coat on and grab her purse while I stood and stared at her like she
was a stranger in my kitchen. Just then Jakob walked into the room.

"Oh, much better, dear." My mother fussed over Jakob's hair and he grinned
at her. She turned away from Jakob and approached me, giving me a quick
kiss before whispering, "Close your mouth, dear, you're going to drool."

Jakob's and my eyes locked while my mother fumbled with the buttons on her
coat and entertained us with more of her antics. "Boys, I am planning a ham
for Sunday evening. I would like to see both of you there. Bryan, come walk
me out. Jakob..." my mother and Jakob embraced in front of me for the
second time.

"Bye, Mrs. M." Jakob said shyly as my mother cupped his face in her hands
and kissed him on his forehead.

"Good bye, dear. Remember what I told you." My mother headed for the
landing and I gave Jakob a confused look. He simply shrugged at me before I
went to go see my mother off at the front door.

"Don't push him away, Bryan." My mother said as we both reached for the
door handle. "You always push people away, and it's a shame. He loves you
very much."

"I don't know what to say, mom." It was true. I was utterly
speechless. Mark had asked me earlier on if I was gay, and now my mother
hadn't even asked--just assumed it was so. Inside I was unsure of what all
of this meant. Was I gay? Was I not? Was I in denial about it all? The only
thing I was sure of was how I felt about Jakob. If that meant I was
gay--then hell--I was gay and a half!

"Talk to him, sweetheart," was all my mother said before she turned and
headed toward her car. I shut and locked the door behind her, and slowly
made my way up the stairs. Jakob was leaning in the entranceway of the
kitchen--his baby blues piercing right through my soul. I shuffled to the
other side of the entranceway and leaned against it as he was doing
opposite of me.

"My mother." I motioned towards the front door and we both chuckled
lightly. We stood there awkwardly as if we had just been
introduced--catching glimpses of each other through bashful smiles. Jakob
was the first to break the oddness of the moment. He stood up straight from
leaning against the wall and slowly approached me. Not saying a word, he
snaked his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck. I closed
my eyes and sighed out loud as my hands drifted from the bluntness of the
wall to the warmth and mystery of Jakob's back. I felt his warm lips caress
my neck before he stepped away from me.

Saying nothing, Jakob grabbed my hand and lead me down the hall and into
the bathroom. Without a word, he locked the door to the bathroom behind me,
walked over to the oversized tub and started drawing up a bath. I gazed at
him in awe as he moved gracefully through the bathroom--adding bubble bath
to the water filling the tub, and gathering towels to later dry the water
off. After he was satisfied with the depth of the bath water, he turned off
the taps and then slowly moved towards me. Without question and without
word, Jakob's hands moved up and started unbuttoning my shirt--our eyes
locked together--the feeling of his fingertips brushing against my bare
skin making my heart skip a beat.

Jakob placed light kisses on my chest while he unbuttoned my jeans, and
suddenly he crouched down and pulled on my jeans and underwear--leaving
them around my ankles while he slowly stood upright again. I stepped out of
the garments that were at my ankles and bent over to remove my socks. I
could hear Jakob breathing when I stood up straight. I smiled at him.

"I love you, Jakey." I whispered as I pulled Jakob in for a kiss. Our
tongues played lightly against each other and I could feel Jakob grabbing
my ass. Suddenly he pinched hard, and startled me into breaking our kiss.

"Ouch, Jakob! Be careful!" I griped sourly. Jakob just grinned at me.

"Get in." He commanded, and I was happy to obey.

The water felt great as I slipped in and leaned back into the tub. Jakob
sat on the edge and grinned at me while I removed the day's layer of dirt
and oil that I was given at work. He handed me a face cloth and got up from
the edge of the tub while I scrubbed my face. As I rinsed the soapy mess
from my face and opened my eyes, Jakob was naked and slowly submerging his
gorgeous body into the bath. I was instantly hard, and I had noticed that
Jakob was too.

I sat up from my leaning position as Jakob sat down on my thighs and
stretched his legs out on either side of me. Immediately we reached for
each other and lovingly stroked each other as he leaned into me, and our
lips met. It started off as very short and sweet kisses on each other's
mouth and face, but as his hand was working its magic on my swollen member,
our kisses became more urgent.

We were both moaning and breathless when Jakob threw both of his arms
around my neck and broke our passionate kiss. He kissed around my cheek and
ear while he struggled to catch his breath. I removed my hand from his very
hard shaft, and started to rub his back. He was breathing in my ear.

"Bryan." He kissed my ear. "Bryan, I want you to fuck me, Bryan. Bryan,
please. I love you, Bryan. Please fuck me." He was shaking, and I wrapped
my arms tighter around his back and kissed him tenderly on his lips.

"I don't want a fuck, kid." I whispered. My body ached for Jakob, but I no
longer wanted to just fuck him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with
him. I wanted to be his partner--in life--for life in every sense of the
meaning. I struggled to say to Jakob what I was able to say in my heart,
but all that I could come up with was "I love you, Jakob."

Afraid that he might feel rejected by me, I shuffled around so that I could
get out of the tub. Jakob watched me looking as though a cloud had just
formed over his head. I reached down, pulled the drain to the tub, and then
held out my hand for Jakob to get out. He gently took it, and stepped
out. I grabbed one of the bath towels that Jakob had set out earlier for
us, and wrapped it around the both of us--pulling Jakob closer to me. His
arms wrapped around my waist, and his face was pressed against my chest,
when I repeated my prayer.

"I love you, Jakob."

I could feel something warm and moist trickling down my chest before I
realized it was Jakob's tears. Before I could move to see if he was okay, I
heard him softly whisper; "I love you, Bryan".

My body shook as we held each other and I desperately needed to sit down--I
was so overcome I thought for sure that I would pass out. We made our way
downstairs into the basement, and lay together naked on the couch, wrapped
up in a warm comforter. The television was on, and together we watched--him
wrapped in my arms. We kissed and held each other, and then I began to
understand the true art and meaning of making love. There were many things
we needed to overcome, but as I lay awake and listened to the peacefulness
of his breathing as he slept, I knew somehow that things would be okay.

Jakob said he loved me.