Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2008 06:25:36 -0800 (PST)
From: Randy Howard <randyhoward2@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Journal / Chapter 4 'A New Beginning' / Beginnings

Adam's Rib
By
Randyhoward2@yahoo.com
Chapter 4 'A New Beginning'


>From Chapter 3 'The Letter'

"I release you my love. I will always hold our love in my heart. I
want you to take that love with you and wait for me. I don't know
how long I have on this earth without you my love but know that
one day I will come to you and we shall have eternity together
babe." I said and fell upon his chest and cried. Uncle Steve helped
up and walked me to the chair and I sat down and cried. Then he
and Uncle Mike went over to their Adam and each kissed him
goodbye.

"Goodbye my son. Remember my love for you my son, and know
that you have always made me so happy and proud to be your dad.
I shall miss you so much my dearest Adam and shall always
cherish the memories you have given me love. I love you son," my
Uncle Michael said and leaned down and kissed him goodbye on
his forehead. He came over to me and took me in his arms and
said,

"My Adam may be gone but he has given you to me for a son," he
says and holds me to him and weeps. My Uncle Steve, is standing
at Adam's side lightly brushing his hair to the side, leans down,
and kisses his son on the lips ever so softly, and says,

"So long my son and my joy. Having you in my life made me
complete son. I thought that my love for your dad was all I ever
needed to fill my life and heart until you entered my heart.
Watching you grow was such a joy and experience I shall always
treasure, my love.  I know that someday we shall see each other
again and then my joy shall be complete once again. As you leave
us today, remember you take a greater part of my heart with you
son. I have never once regretted being your dad, son. I love you
and will never let your memory die in my heart. Goodbye, my son
and say hello to my two best friends I ever had in life, Josh and
Kyle. God bless you my boy, my Adam," and he leans and kisses
him again and tears are falling from his eyes.  It takes about
another five minutes and the heart monitor starts to beep and flat
line.

'Goodbye my love, my babe, my man.' I say to myself. 'Wait for
me my Cowboy.' And I cry.  The doctor comes in, checks his
pulse, pronounces him dead, and places the sheet over his head.
We talk to the doctor and tell him which funeral home we want for
the funeral. I sign some forms and then we are ready to leave. As I
go to leave Adam's room, I froze as I see a familiar face looking
straight at me in the doorway.


Chapter 4 'A New Beginning'

     I just stood there staring at David. He came over to me and
offered his hand to me and said,

"I know that you probably don't want to see me but I just wanted
to say how very sorry I am for the loss of your Adam. I know he
meant the world to you and I want to apologize for the pain and
suffering I have caused you. I also want to offer you any help you
may need, Dylan." He said in a very sincere voice.

"That was so kind of you but Adam is gone now and I just want to
be alone with my memories. I have forgiven you David and hope
that you have learned not to toy with people when they are so
vulnerable," I said. "I need to go home and please remember what
I said." We leave and my uncles both give a suspicious look at
him. I feel so sorry for David because he substitutes sex for love.
Whether he is able to love again, I do not know. I have had such a
merry-go-round of emotions these last few weeks I am no judge of
people's ability to love. I hope he is able to love again.

     The funeral was set for Thursday and I had a mountain of things
that needed to be done. Jeanne was such a godsend and she took on
the added responsibilities and never once complained. I had
ordered the stone, a cowboy riding a bronco, and instructed them
as to what I wanted on it. I knew it was a bit out of the ordinary, ok
a lot out of the ordinary; but Adam was my cowboy, and those
were the last words he ever spoke to me. 'You can make me your
cowboy any time partner'. I knew it would raise a few eyebrows
but he was my Adam and he was my cowboy. The day came and it
was cold and rainy. It almost had a bite of ice to the rain. After all
it was still late March, and March is one of those tricky months.
Adam had requested that he be buried and not cremated. His
funeral was quite large with many family and friends attending. It
was a quick service and we were home by one. I had my uncles
and a few close friends over. Jeanne had prepared a very nice
luncheon and seemed to disappear shortly after setting it out. Brian
had briefly stopped by to give me his condolences because I was so
swarmed by people at the cemetery. I think he came also to pick up
his mom. By five, I was alone. I had just said goodbye to my
uncles and told them that I wanted to be alone. Before they left,
Uncle Mike asks me.

"You going to be alright there son," as he takes me into his arms.

"Yeah dad, I'm fine, just mentally worn out," I tell him calling him
dad now for the first time. "I hope you didn't mind me calling you
dad Uncle Mike." I ask.

"Not at all son. I told you at the hospital that Adam may be gone
but he left me a son." He says kissing my forehead. "Now go and
get some rest and no crying. We have all cried enough and Adam
would kick our buts if he could." Uncle Steve stops and gives me a
massive hug and soft kiss and says,

"You know son your dads would have been so proud of you. They
have my boy now and I have theirs." He says and his eyes are
glossy. "I love you son and in time we expect you to move on like
Adam said in his letter."

"Oh I don't know if I have any love left now that he is gone," I say
and get choked up.

"In time you will see, a new love will come when you least expect
it." Mike says. "Remember Adam told you to love again and enjoy
life. You won't dishonor his love if you learn to love again son;
you will be honoring his love." He says about to cry. "Now lets go
Steven before I start to cry again," he says and kisses my goodbye.

     I sit in the living room and for once, I am alone. The sound of
silence is deafening. I feel his presence in this place. I get to go
into the kitchen and I feel his presence. I close my eyes and picture
his face, as I stand frozen in time. I almost can feel his breath on
my neck and his touch on my cheek. I am completely still with my
eyes closed just feeling surrounded by his love. Then out of
nowhere I here goodbye my bronco. I know its him because only
he would call me that. I open my eyes to find him and his presence
is gone. 'Come back my cowboy' I say to myself and my eyes are
closed. Again, the touch soft and sure and I cry out.

"I love you Adam and you will forever be my cowboy." I can feel
his arms around me strong and secure as he holds me. 'I miss you
so much love,' I say to myself. Then the whisper again in my ear,

'Honor our love babe, honor me, love again and let yourself be
loved.' Then his presence is gone. Has I feel his arms let me go I
fall to the floor and I am in darkness.

"Dylan please wake up," I hear someone calling. "Shall I call for
an ambulance?" I hear.

"Where am I, what happened," I question and its Jeanne looking
down into my face. "What time is it," I ask.

"It's almost nine a.m.," she says helping me to sit up. "You must
have fallen and knocked yourself out." She adds getting me up
now and into a chair. I tell her about my experience last night and
she looks at me and says with a smile.

"I have read about that happening to other people. Its like the
departed hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to someone they
loved and came back ever so briefly to say goodbye." She tells me.
We are talking when the phone rings she goes to answer it and asks
me,

"Are you in or out?"

"Out to all but my uncles," I tell her. She answers the phone, it's
my new dad, and she hands it to me.

"Hey dad," I say almost chipper.

"Well that's a surprise," he says almost in shock. "Here I thought I
would have to give you a pep talk and ask you out for breakfast
and you sound so chipper, what gives son."

"Can we have that breakfast and I will tell you then." I ask him.

"You want to go out or come over," he asks.

"I will come over and dad, nothing fancy just coffee is fine." I tell
him.

"One day my son and already telling me how to do things, well I
never," he says is his best-shocked voice. "Ok love come on over."
I tell Jeanne that I am going to my dad's and I drive over. The first
thing in his house he says,

"Are we saving on laundry detergent or just to lazy to change?"


"Dad lets get that coffee and sit down because what I have to say
you will either commit me or we cry." I tell him and he looks at me
strange. He pours me a coffee and makes a tea for himself and we
go into the den and get comfortable. I then begin to tell him all
about the experience I had the night before as his mouth just hangs
open.

"Dad it was so real that I could not only hear his whisper in my ear
but I felt his breath on my neck," I tell him. "Just before he left he
says to me to 'Honor our love babe, honor me, love again and let
yourself be loved.' I tell him and his eyes are glossed over. "Then I
felt his arms release me and I fell to the floor and then it was this
morning and Jeanne was panicking over me. So what do you
think," I ask him.

"Wow, that caught me of guard," he says. "I have heard of these
experiences but never knew anyone that had experienced one. How
do you feel about it," he asks me.

"It was so real and all my senses could feel his presence. Dad I
know it was him and he needed to tell me that he wanted me to be
happy and to find love again. He did what I had done for my dad
Kyle; he let me go and told me that it was all right with him. He
wants me to love and be loved again dad. I do not know if I can
ever find a love like we had and he will have to send that special
someone to me. I do not think I have it in me to look again. I never
had to look because he was always in front of me growing up and I
just knew that I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life
with him. I do not even know how to go about finding someone to
love again. I am not into the bar scene and dating services are for
those afraid to look. So as I said he will have to send that person to
me."

"Wow son, you have had some night kid." He tells me with his
loving smile. "As far as we are concerned Dylan, we want the
same thing for you. You will not offend us if you find that new
person to love. If you love him, we will also. We had Adam for
almost thirty years and he has given us a lifetime of love. Now
what would you like for breakfast son?"

"I am not really hungry," I tell him. "I feel.excited . or maybe
cherished in the afterglow of all this. I feel the same way I felt after
we made love and just held each other after basking in its
aftermath." I say. "Does that seem strange to you?"

"No son, but it might to some people though. All I know is that
yesterday you were a basket case and today you seem happy if that
is the word." He said.

"I don't know that I am happy, because I still miss my Adam
something fierce. But, I am . at peace is the word. I am at peace
with the decision I made. His letter help me tremendously. I know
that it had to just about kill him to write it though. I guess he knew
me better than I knew myself. He knew that I would be hesitant to
do what he had instructed in his living will. He knew me all to well
and decided to write that letter just in case I was ever faced with
that kind of decision. Peace, the word I would use to sum up how I
feel this morning.
     We continued to talk for most of the morning. Uncle Steve
came home and could not believe the story I told him about Adam.
He did notice though my change in demeanor.  He said that he had
once read on-line about people who have lost love ones seeing or
feeling their presence around them. We talked until nearly four in
the afternoon before I left for home. When I got home, Jeanne met
me at the door and said a gentleman named Brad had called several
times and said he needed to talk to you.

"Did he say why," I asked.

"No, all he said was that he needed to talk to you personally. I told
him that you had stepped out and I didn't know when you would
be back." She said. "He said that he would try." she started to say
and was interrupted by the phone. She answered it and she pointed
to the phone to let me know that it was Brad calling. I told her that
I would take it in another room. I went upstairs to my bedroom and
picked up the phone.

"Hello Brad," I said.

"Finally I get you," he said. "What is going on there," he asks.

"Why what is so urgent that you call four times today," I asked
him.

"Are you sitting down," he asks.

"I am sitting on my bed, why?"

"What I am about to tell you may freak you out," he says. "Last
night I was sitting at my desk doing homework when I see this guy
standing next to me. I jumped about out of my skin he scared me
so bad. I asked him how he got into my room without me noticing
or hearing him. He told me it didn't matter. I said it did and he just
disappeared. Like that, he was gone in a flash. Well that freaked
me out more. I got up and ran out of my room so fast that I ran
right into him outside my door. He was just standing there, I just
bumped into him, and I fell down landing on my ass.  He picked
me up and helped me back into my room. He said was that better
than just coming in or did it matter. I was totally loosing it by now
and asked him what he wanted. He told me that Dylan needed me
and that he wanted me to look after you. I asked him who had sent
him and he said no one he came on his own. I said why does Dylan
need me, I asked him. He said that Adam had died and I was
needed at home to be with you. Well Dyl, I just looked at him and
asked how he knew Adam was dead. He just said he knew and told
me to go home to you. Then I looked at him and ask him his name.
He just stared at me, and said Adam, and vanished. Dyl I have
been freaked out ever since man.  What the fuck is happening back
there," he asks. I told him about Adam and how he had died and
about my experience last night. He told me that he would catch a
plane and be home tomorrow. I told him that his schooling was
more important than holding my hand through this. He would not
listen and said he would call me when he knew his flight
information.  Before I could say anything else, he had hung up. He
finally called back within twenty minutes and told Jeanne that his
flight would be in tomorrow and eleven forty-five at gate thirty-
one and hung up again. Jeanne relayed the information to me and
left for the day. The traffic the next day was terrible. I was ten
minutes late picking him up. He was standing with his luggage at
the curb when I pulled up. I got out and he gave me a hug and put
his luggage in the trunk. He then told me to take the passenger side
and that he would drive. I just stood there, looked at him, and said.

"When did you start giving me orders young man?" I said to him
but loved the authority he showed.

"Ever since Adam had told me to look after you." He said and got
in the car. We drove home and he told me that he had never had
such an eerie experience like that in his life. I asked him to
describe Adam and he told me to the letter. Then he told me
something that totally blew my mind because only Adam and I
knew about it.

"You know he told me to tell you that your 'Cowboy' sent me. I
just started to cry and he reached over and rubbed my shoulder. He
told me that he needed to be here and that his schoolwork was
ahead.

"I am here until you don't need me around." He said. He said that
his professors had arranged for him to do his course studies on-line
until he returned.

"I have a return ticket for two weeks from now and can change it if
need be." He told me. "I will stay as long as you need me." We got
home and he brought his things up to his room. He came down and
I introduced him to Jeanne. They hit it off immediately and he
even showed her some shortcuts to use with her computer work.
We sat and talked the three of us for the rest of the day. Jeanne got
up around five-thirty and said that she had to go home because she
had a date.

"You are becoming quite serious you two, aren't you," I asked.

"Yes, I guess we are," she replied. "We have some how just began
where we left off in high school and gone on from there." She
added. "I think if things continue like this we just might get to the
marriage level." She said with a smile.

"That is so great," I told her. "You deserve some happiness in your
life again."

"Well thank you Dylan," she said. "You do also and I see you have
a nice young man here to fill that gap left by Adam." She said with
a smile.

"Woe there," Brad said looking at her. "I am not gay and I am just
here to help out until Dyl here gets back on his feet," he says with
that authoritive voice again.

"Yes Jeanne, Brad is just my house guest until he finishes school,"
I tell her. "When his dad died he had no place to live so I offered
my place until he graduated." I add. Brad had a look on his face
that spoke volumes. He had made it clear again that he was straight
and that he had no intentions of living in Toronto. Something was
eating away at Brad and as before he left to go back to school last
time, he still had not worked it out. We had a light dinner of red
snapper in a lemon garlic sauce and a salad. I made a pot of coffee
and we sat in the living room and talked.

"Brad can I ask you a personal question please," I asked him.

"Depends, you can ask but depending on the question I may not
answer it," he says rather smugly.

"Fair enough. I noticed that when you left for school last time
something heavy was on your mind. I was just wondering if you
had worked it out yet," I asked. "I also want to know if it was
something I may have done that caused you grief." I said.  He
looked at me, and it seemed that anger had replaced his smile.

"No I have not and it is really none of your business," he says
rather rudely. "If and when I decide to speak about it I will let you
know. So don't keep poking into my personal affairs, ok," he says.
"I am going up to my room, good night." He got up and quickly
left the room. I hadn't a chance to say a word. I felt very dejected
with his attitude and felt that he owed me an apology for his
rudeness.  I cleaned up the cups, brought them out to the kitchen,
and placed them in the sink. I closed up for the night and went up
to bed. As I passed Brad's room, I could hear him and he sounded
like he was crying. I thought to knock but thought better of it. I
went in my room and closed the door.  I took a quick shower and
climbed into bed to read. I had been reading for an hour or so and
then a knock on my door.

"Come in." Brad opens the door and spoke from the doorway.

"I want to apologize for my attitude and rudeness," he says. "I was
wrong to treat you so badly when you have been nothing but kind
to me. I have something that is seriously bothering me and until I
work it out, . well until then I can't speak about it." He says. "I
do apologize for my rudeness and hope you can forgive me, Dyl."

"Apology accepted Brad," I tell him. "If at any time you wish to
talk, I am a good listener."

"If you don't really need me I think I will go back to school." He
says. "I have a lot to deal with and I feel I can't do that here, Dyl."

"That's fine Brad with me," I tell him. "I am alright and will be
fine. I do have my days but I feel that they too are numbered. I just
can't help feeling that I am responsible for some of what you are
dealing with."

"I'm fine Dyl and I will have this worked out by the end of
semester," he says and goes back to his room. His eyes were so red
and confirmed my thoughts that he had been crying. He left the
next morning at eight. He had called a taxi and said that he rather it
this way. I felt that I had lost a friend when he left. He was cold
and impersonal. His shook my hand briefly and was gone. I busied
myself with my writing and tried to keep my mind off Brad. I
decided to flip through my dad's journal and look at some of his
entries. As I did, I came across an entry dated,

June 1993
We left today for the Vineyard. Steven and Michael came with us
and of course Adam. Dylan seemed to light up when we told him
that Adam was going to spend the summer with us. He face looked
like it did on Christmas morning. Since the time we got onto the
boat, he had not left Adam's side. Since becoming teenagers, they
have been inseparable. Something had changed between them and
Michael and I wondered. Well, we just wondered. Our boys were
growing up and to fast at times. It was lunchtime, and Kyle had
gone to look for the boys. He had searched for a half hour and
could not find them. On his way, back he had noticed that the
boathouse door was ajar. He slipped over the short fence and
looked in the back window. There they were facing each other,
pants around their ankles, and they were jerking off. Kyle watched
for a few minutes and saw them both cum off. They finished and
pulled up there pants and wiped their hands on a rag and left. Kyle
waited for them to leave and then headed back to the house. He
was rather quiet and said that he would talk to us after lunch. After
lunch, he gathered the three of us with him, and told us of what he
saw. We all laughed and decided that they were just being boys
and that this was a part of growing up. As the summer progressed,
the boys seemed to spend a great deal of time in that boathouse.
We decided that if we kept them occupied they would have less
time to experiment.

August 1993
I was a hot humid day and the night was no different. Even the
breeze that usually blew of the ocean was quiet. We let the boys
sleep on the summer porch because they said it was cooler. They
each took one of the daybeds and went to bed. We went to bed and
around one I needed a drink because I was so hot I could not sleep.
I went down to the kitchen and got a drink. On the way back, I
decided to check the boys. My, what a surprise I got. There on a
daybed were the boys, sound asleep. A very naked Dylan was
spooned into a very naked Adam. Adam's right arm was across
Dylan's chest and Dylan was holding Adam's hand. Dylan had his
head lying on Adam's left arm. I smiled as I looked at them and
thought young love. I went and got Michael up and told him to
come with me. He followed down asking if anything was wrong. I
just held a finger to my lips to quiet him. I led him to the summer
porch and he froze at the sight of the boys. He told me to wait there
one minute and he left. He returned shortly with a camera and
snapped the boy's picture. We thought the flash might wake them
but all they did was snuggle closer. Adam pulled Dylan closer and
in his sleep, his kissed the back of Dylan's head. Michael and I
went into the kitchen, had a tea, and cried. Our boys are in love we
said. Our prayers would maybe come true. We had so much
wanted the boys to become a couple someday but neither of us
wanted to interfere. We decided to let nature takes its course. On
the way up to bed, we went out to the porch, and covered them up
with a sheet. The next morning when we rose the boys were up and
playing around on the porch with some dog. He belonged to a
neighbor but loved to play with the boys. We had a fabulous
summer this year and knew that the boys did also.

'We always thought, Adam and I, that we had gone undiscovered
that summer,' I though to myself. 'I wonder what happened to that
photo,' I thought. 'I must ask Michael what he did with the
picture.' I must have fallen asleep shortly after because Jeanne
woke me to tell me that she was going home. I said goodbye and
decided to call Michael.

"Hey dad," I said. "I my other dad there," I asked Steven.

"No he went to the market and should be home any minute, why,"
He asked.

"Well I was reading in dad's journal and I came across an entry
dated for the summer of 1993." I told him. "In it he mentioned how
we, Adam and I, had gotten caught by my dad Kyle in the boat
house." I said and could feel my face reddening.

"Oh yes, I remember that summer," he says. "That was when you
two were caught jerking ." he started to say but I interrupted.

"Yes I know, so lets not go there, ok," I asked.  "Why I called is he
mentioned that we got caught spooning on the summer porch and
Michael had taken a picture of us sleeping like that. I just
wondered if he still had that picture or not," I asked.

"Gee son I really don't know," he said. "I know the one you are
talking about though. Hey just a minute Michael is coming in
now." He says and I here him tell him that I am on the phone.

"Dylan how are you son," he asks.

"Good dad," I tell him. "The reason I called is to see if you still
had a picture from the time we spent together in the summer of
1993," I ask. "The one you took of Adam and I spooning," I tell
him feeling so embarrassed.

"Oh my Dylan, I really don't know son," he says. "If I did it would
be in my trunk in the attic," he says. "How do you feel about a trip
down memory lane tomorrow, son." He asks. "Now before you
answer you must realize that it could get emotional seeing these
pictures because your dads and Adam will be in it son," he says
with a sensitivity in his voice.

"I know dad, but I do so want to see them. I think they will help
me heal my heart," I tell him. "How is around ten sound and I will
bring the Kleenex," I tell him with a chuckle.

"Sounds good son see you tomorrow then, good night love." He
says and hangs up.  I hang up the phone and sit on the sofa. I am
just sitting there for a while when the doorbell rings. I get up and
go to answer it. Brian is standing there with a bottle of wine and a
smile. He says,

"This is for you from Pierre," and hands it to me. "I thought I
would bring it to you and see what you were up to this evening."

"That was so nice of both of you," I tell him. "So let me guess," I
say. "If my interpretation of 'what you were up to' is correct; that
would translate into 'I was horny and was hoping you were also'.
Now am I correct young man," I ask with a smirk on my face.

"Well since you put it that way, yes," he says. "So are you,
because I am so horny and loved the time we had that night." He
said with hope in his eyes.

"Brian, am I just a cum dump to you," I ask him. "Because that is
what you make me feel like right now," I tell him.

"Oh God no Dylan you aren't," he says. "I am so sorry Dylan. That
is not the way I meant it," he says. "I guess I will go then and I am
sorry for sounding like that," and he has a sad look on his face.

"Calm down Brian and come in," I tell him closing the door. I turn
around and he pulls me into a kiss. I pull away and tell him that he
cannot stay the night. "One night stands are not what I am into and
I feel that sex without love is so wrong. Brian you are a great kid
but what I need you cannot provide. Maybe I should say that you
would not provide. I need a life time commitment son and you are
way to wild to commit right now." I tell him. "I think that from
now on we will not see each other sexually, do you understand
me." I ask him.

"Yes sir," he says rather dejected. "I am so sorry Dylan for coming
across that way and I don't want to loose you for a friend," he says.
I walk him to the door and before opening it; I kiss him softly on
the lips and say.

"You haven't lost my friendship. Be careful Brian about one-night
stands; you can get more than you bargain for," I tell him. "Why
don't you just go home and jerk off instead."

"I think I will, and thanks for being a friend Dylan."

"I love you Brian but as a friend. I do not want to see you get hurt.
What I need you are not ready to provide. I am still mourning
Adam and sex is not right for me at this time." I tell him and he
opens the door and leaves. He is a good kid and will soon grow up
and know that what I said tonight about sex with love is correct. I
turn out the lights and head up to bed. I hit the bed and I am out
like a light. The next morning Jeanne greets me with her usual
upbeat style.

"Good morning Dylan," she says like a schoolgirl home from her
first date. "What a beautiful day isn't it," she says and twirls
around in a dance step.

"My aren't we jovial today," I remark. "What has you so wound
up," I ask her.

"This," she says and holds her hand out to me showing me a huge
diamond ring.

"Oh my God, Jeanne, he did not did he," I ask all excited for her.

"Yes, last night. He brought me to the global restaurant. After
dinner, he stands up and says, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, If I may
have you attention please. I would like you to be my witnesses as I
propose to this fantastic beautiful woman.' He gets down on one
knee and with the entire restaurant watching he asked me to marry
him. Dylan I never was so embarrassed in my life. I just looked
into his eyes and could see the love he had for me, and said yes. He
stood up, pulled me up into his arms, and kissed me. The entire
restaurant applauded as he slipped the ring unto my finger. "I am
so excited I could burst." Pierre comes over, brings us this bottle of
champagne, and opens it. He pours us each a glass and Max lifts
his in a toast to me. It was the most beautiful night I have ever had.
"Oh Dylan, I could just scream I am so happy." She says. We are
talking and the doorbell rings. She says she will get it and heads to
the door. She is back with a very handsome man who is grinning
from ear to ear.

"Dylan I would like to introduce you to Maxwell Lincoln
Covington." She says with stars in her eyes looking at him.

"Well it is a pleasure to meet the man that has made my Jeanne so
happy," I say offering my hand.

"The pleasure is all mind, Dylan." He says shaking my hand. "I
know that this is on short notice, but could I steal her for the day
young man. I would like to bring her to meet my son today before
he leaves for school," he asks.

"No problem," I tell him. "Besides the condition she is in I
wouldn't get much work out of her anyways." I tell him and give
Jeanne a kiss on the cheek. "Now go you two lovebirds and have a
great day." He shakes my hand and thanks me and Jeanne gives me
a hug and kiss. I walk them to the door and tell her to leave her car
where it is and she can get it tomorrow. She tells me that they have
to pick up Brian so he can come with them to meet Max's son. I
wish them a good day and they leave. I go inside and grab the
journal and I leave for dad's house. I get there and he greets me
with a hug and kiss.

"My aren't we chipper this morning," he says looking at me
smiling.

"Yeah I am I guess. Jeanne just got engaged last night and she and
her intended just left to meet his son," I tell her.

"I am so happy for her," Michael says. "Now are you hungry," he
asks.

"Famished," I tell him. We head into the kitchen and have a very
nice breakfast. During breakfast, I show him the journal I brought.

"Is this the journal that Josh kept," he asks.

"Yes it is and it's full of his life," I tell him. "I laugh and cry each
time I read something in it. His style of writing just keeps me
wanting more." I tell him. We sat and flipped through it and I
showed him the entry from that summer in 1993.

"We thought that we were so clever that summer. We thought that
we had completely gotten away with our little secret." I tell him.

"We had such a laugh thinking how you two boys thought that you
had pulled one over on us." He says laughing again at the thought.
"We, Josh and I, knew that one day you two would fall in love."
He says and puts his hand on mine. "I just wish that . well never
mind what I wish," he says and gets up to bring the dishes to the
sink.

"What dad? What do you wish? That we had more time together,"
I ask. "It's alright dad, he taught me how to love and how to be
loved," I say hugging him and he has tears in his eyes. "I don't
understand why he was taken so soon from us, but I will cherish
forever the time we did have." I say and give my uncle a kiss on
the cheek. "Now lets see your pictures," I say and he leads me to
the attic. The attic is musty and dark. A single light illuminates the
room. We go over to an old trunk and kneel on the floor in front of
it. He opens it and starts to go through the things in it.

"Oh look at this," he says holding up a yellowed white gown.
"Adam wore this when we had him baptized," he says and brings it
to his nose. "It still has his baby scent on it." He says and passes it
to me. I couldn't smell anything but musky smells but said
nothing. He handed several toys and books telling me what they
were to Adam. He then lifts a big wooden box from the bottom of
the trunk and hands it to me. He puts the other things back inside
and closes the trunk. "Lets take that downstairs to look inside," he
says leading the way. We take the box down to the den and place it
on the coffee table. He opens it and it is filled with photos. Some
are yellowed but most look as good as the day taken. He shows me
a picture of my real dads together holding me when I was just one.

"Look at the love in there eyes," I say holding the picture. "If
daddy Kyle grins and more his head will split." I say smiling.

"Josh hated that grin he once told me. He said that it was Kyle's
secret weapon against him. He could never refuse Kyle when he
grinned like that." He says smiling. "He told me once that if they
argued a point he had to turn his back to Kyle so he wouldn't yield
to him. He said to me that he lost more arguments with him
because of that grin."

"Yeah dad had a way of getting around him, didn't he." I say. We
dug through the pictures until he came across the one I wanted.
There it was. Adam had me pulled into him and his arm was across
my chest. I had his hand in mine and my head was resting on his
other arm. We were very naked and looked so much in love. We
were both teenagers. He was fourteen and I was thirteen. His head
was resting against mine as if he was smelling my hair. I had a tear
in my eye seeing him and I so innocent and in love. It also gave my
pleasure that my dads knew that Adam and I loved each other. I
smiled as I thought of Kyle seeing us jerking off together in the
boathouse.

"What is so amusing," dad asked me.

"I was just thinking of dad spying on us as we jerked off in the
boathouse that day." I told him. "I think that had it been Josh he
might have said something at that time."

"You know Josh and I were real close son. We had a bond that
only moms had. I know that women have a sixth sense but being a
dad as we were gave us that intuition that kept us a step ahead of
you two." He told me. "We cried that day, your dad and I, because
our boys were becoming young men."

     We spent most of the day reminiscing and going through
photos. I left around four with a good share of the photos. We had
bonded as only a mom and son would bond. He gave me a hug and
held me in his arms and told me,

"You know Dylan, I may not have raised you but you feel like a
son to me love. I have lost my Adam but I have you and his love
lives on through you." He told me and tears ran down his cheeks.

"I know how you feel also. Adam is with my dads now and I have
you and Steven to love as my dads. I hope that it doesn't cause you
pain that I call you two dad."

"No son it doesn't. I am so happy to have you as a son. We both
are. We watched you grow up into a nice young man. It gave us a
great deal of pleasure seeing Adam and you in love." He said still
holding me. "I love you son as much as I did Adam. You don't
know this but your dad before he died of cancer asked us to be
your dad should anything happen to Kyle. I think he knew that
Kyle would quickly follow him on." He said with a slight smile.
"He knew that we would look out for you as much as we did for
Adam. Now enough of this sad talk son. Go home and be happy."
He says kissing me goodbye. I kissed him back and left thankful
for the time we had spent together.

     Over the next few months, I busied myself in my writing. I had
written many stories based on the journal and mostly kept them to
myself. I did it more as a way to personalize it for me than to
publish it. Jeanne and Max had set a date and I decided to give
them a party to announce it. It was early May and the spring
weather had warmed up considerably. I hired a caterer and hire a
large tent for the occasion. We had a DJ and invited around two
hundred guests. It was also a chance for Brian to meet Jeremy,
Max's son. He hadn't been able that day to go with them to meet
him. Jeanne and Max said that he would be able to meet him
finally at the party. He was the same age as Brian and had just
finished college. Brian still had three more years until he finished.
Money issues had kept Brian from going and now with the
scholarship he could finally go. The party was set and everyone
was looking forward to the big day. Jeanne and Max had decided
that since everyone was going to be there they might as well get
married that same time. Therefore, plans were altered a bit. Instead
of an engagement cake, I ordered a wedding cake. The invitations
had not gone out so wedding invitations went out instead. The day
arrived and the weather was very warm and sunny. Brian got to
meet Jeremy and everyone had a great time. Jeanne wore a
beautiful full-length ivory gown. Brian gave her away and was her
witness in place of a maid of honor. Jeremy was best man for his
dad. Everyone partied late into the evening. I gave the happy
couple a Mediterranean cruise for a gift / honeymoon. Jeanne had
given up her apartment and Max and her had bought a house
together.  Unfortunately, it wouldn't be ready until after they got
back from their honeymoon. Brian and Jeremy were staying with
me until they got back. That evening after all the guest had gone
and the happy couple left for their hotel, the three of us sat and
talked together for a while. I showed Jeremy to the room he would
be sharing with Brian. It has two twin beds and it would be good
for them to share. They could talk and bond as brothers since that
was what they were now. We said our goodnight and went to bed.
Along about two, I was awoken by a yell that sounded like
someone dying. I sprang from bed and went down to the room that
Brian and Jeremy were sharing. I burst through the door and
stopped dead in my tracks. There was Jeremy fucking Brian. They
jumped went I entered the room and both stood before me in all
their glory.

"I am so sorry guys," I said blushing like a stoplight. "I heard a
yell and thought that something was wrong. Please forgive me
boys," I said and left the room. The rest of the night was quiet but I
knew that they were just as embarrassed as I. The next morning
poor Jeremy could not look me in the eyes. Brian just grinned and
said,

"I hope you liked the show last night Dylan."

"Guys I am so sorry for interrupting you. I should have knocked
but I thought someone was hurt." I said blushing.

"I was hurt," Brian said. "Jeremy's cock is so fucking big and fat I
thought I would split into. I guess you heard me when I yelled." He
said and Jeremy blushed this time.

"Don't worry about it Jeremy," I told him. "We are all gay men
here and nothing was harmed, just Brian's ass." I said and we all
laughed.

"I just felt so awful for doing that in your home when I was a
guest." He said still blushing. "I hope you can forgive me Dylan."

"There is nothing to forgive Jeremy. Does your dad know that you
are gay," I asked.

"No he doesn't. He thinks I just have terrible luck with women,"
he says. "I don't know if he could handle me being gay."

"Well Brian's mom knows he is and I am sure she has told your
dad. I know he loves you so I would guess he would accept it. He
seems like a decent man from what I met." I tell him and give him
a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. Brian looks at me and says,

"Hey I saw him first Dylan. Get your own man 'cause he's mine."
He says defensively.  We finish breakfast and the boys leave for
whatever young gay boys do. I went to my study and tackled some
long overdue paperwork.  I was deep in my work when the
doorbell rang. I got up and went to see whom it was. I thought that
maybe the boys had forgotten the key I gave them yesterday. I was
shocked when I opened the door. There stood .


To be continued.

Let me know how you liked it. I enjoy your feedback. Contact me
at randyhoward2@yahoo.com.