Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008 14:05:35 -0800 (PST)
From: Randy Howard <randyhoward2@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Journal / Chapter 5 'The Final Chapter' / Beginnings

The Journal
By
Randyhoward2@yahoo.com

Chapter 5
The final chapter.

The usual disclaimers apply.

>From the last chapter.

"Excited babe or nervous."

"Both, I wish we were already there and back home." I said.  "I am
also nervous because I have never flown before." I tell him
squeezing his hand tighter.  We finally take off and climb to
altitude.  The fasten seat belt sign goes off and people start to move
around.  The stewardess comes over and asks if we would like a
cocktail.  We tell her thanks but we are having a baby and we don't
think it wise to drink.  She looks at me as if I have two heads or
something.  Then Kyle explains the trip.  She smiles and
congratulates us.  He explains that we will be returning on a
connecting flight an hour later after we land.  She get up from her
squatting position and moves onto the other passengers.  The pilot
comes on the speaker and tells us that there is a snowstorm in the
Vancouver area and that the temperature is twenty-eight degrees.
He also asks that we remain seated and seat belts fastened until we
land.  We are a half hour out of Vancouver when the plane drops
thousands of feet and the interior lights go out plunging us into darkness.

"Kyle!" I scream.  "What's happening?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen.  This is the pilot we are going...

Chapter 5

"Ladies and gentlemen.  This is the pilot, we are going through
some turbulence and I have turned on the fasten seat belt sign.  The
power failure was an accident.  My elbow hit the kill lights switch.
Sorry for any scare but we will be landing in twenty-five minutes.
Please enjoy the rest of your flight."

"My God that scared me.  I almost pissed my pants." I said to
Kyle.  He laughed at me so hard I wanted to hit him.  The plane
made a perfect approach and landing at Vancouver International
Airport.  When we had departed the plane, our lawyer was there to
meet us.  We met the judge and he seemed very pleased with us.  I
noticed a woman holding a baby over to our left and wondered if
that was our Dylan. We spent twenty minutes talking and signing
papers and forms.  When all the paper work was done, the judge
motioned for the woman I had seen to come over.  She had the
baby all wrapped up in a blue bunting.  She handed me the baby,
turned, and left, no emotion and no words were spoken.  Kyle and I
unwrapped the boy and looked at him.  He was asleep and had the
cutest face you ever saw on a baby. He looked like an angel all soft
and cuddly.  Kyle looked at him and said,

"Hey Dylan, welcome to the family son."  He had the look of pride
as only a true dad could looking at his new son.  That stupid grin
he gets just went from ear to ear.  He bent down and kissed him on
the forehead, as he lay asleep in my arms.  "You better take after
me because your other dad can get quite dramatic," he says looking
at me and grinning.  Everyone laughed and we said our thank you
and good byes and left for our departure gate.  We needed British
Airways flight 169 leaving from gate 38 and we were at gate 17.
We caught a shuttle that took us to our gate with minutes to spare.
They were announcing passengers with small children and infants
could now board.

"That's us," I told Kyle with a smile. We gave our boarding passes
to the attendant and boarded the plane.  It was a full flight with
college kids headed back to school and all.  We found our seats
and we were thankful that our lawyer had booked three seats
instead of two; it gave us extra room for the baby, not that we
would put him down.  The flight home was smoother than the
flight out and I was so thankful to be home.  Steve and Michael
met us at the airport to take us home.  We got home and showed
off our Dylan to everyone.  Mrs. Whitehead had a cute little outfit
for him and Steve and Michael had bought him an old fashion
carriage like the ones used at the turn of the century.  Everyone left
about an hour later and we just took our time checking Dylan out
and admiring our little man.  He had dark brown fuzzy hair and
bright blue eyes and a voice that could wake the dead.  When he
cried his little face turned so red and he had a deep purple streak
straight up his forehead.  Kyle said that was his temper streak.  We
put him in his crib and decided to take a nap also. When we
stripped and got in bed Kyle says,

"Can we practice making kid number two bud?"

"Number two, can we enjoy number one for awhile please." I say
with a smirk.

"But we are only going to practice bud.  I won't get you pregnant, I
promise," and he gives me that grin and jumps on top of me.  His
mouth found my neck and ears.  He sucked and bit on the lobes
driving me crazy with lust for him.  He sat up and looked at me
and said,

"Bud you are the best lover a man could ever find.  You complete
me and bring out the best in me.  I love you so fucking much."  He
kisses me hard and deep our tongues fighting for domination.

I break the kiss and tell him,

"Without you babe I would be like a cart without a horse.  You
complete me like flowers complete a garden," and we kiss some
more.  "Now Dylan completes our picture of love."

"If he is half the man you are Kyle he will be a fantastic man."  I
tell him with pride and admiration in my voice.  He just smiled at
me, as his eyes got glossy.

"You know how to move me more than anyone or thing could ever
move me bud.  I love you more than I can but into words love,"
and he kisses me again.  He rises, lifts my legs over his shoulders
and drops down, and starts to make love to my treasure spot with
his tongue.  My hips rise to get more of his tongue in me.  He
inserts a finger while fucking me with his tongue and I yell out in
ecstasy.

"Oh fuck babe you have me so fucking close babe." I yell out.  Just
then, Dylan lets out a cry.  He is whaling away in his crib and
wants attention.

"Fuck babe I forgot about the baby," I said jumping up to go tend
him.  I return a few minutes later after I got him back to sleep and
Kyle is sound asleep. 'Fuck,' I thought, 'I really wanted to finish
what we had started.'  I let him sleep and got up to fix me a tea and
just chill out about being a dad.  Talk about someone making you
complete, this little man does that for the both of us.  His life will
be filled with love because of the love his dads have for each other.
My eyes begin to fill with tears and they run down my cheeks as a
voice says,

"What's the matter bud, did I do something wrong babe."  Kyle
asks me as he throws his big arms around from behind.

"No babe, just so happy that I can't contain it," I tell him.  "My life
feels so complete now that I have you and Dylan babe."  I turn in
his arms and we kiss.

"Hey bud want to finish what we started earlier," he asks with that
grin again.  He has to get a patent on that fucking grin of his.  We
go back to bed and he makes the most passionate love to me that
he had ever made.  We are one in mind, body and spirit.  We both
came at the same moment and kissed in the fuzzy afterglow of our
love making just holding each other tight until we both fell asleep.



Dylan.

     'God, I never knew how much they loved me.' I thought to
myself.  I knew they loved me because they made sure to not only
tell me everyday but they showed me in ways most kids only
dreamed of.  They would unexpectedly throw their arms around
me and say,

"Dylan party lets all have a love Dylan party," and they would kiss
me, and hug me and tell me they loved me.  It was fine and fun
when I was little but in high school, it was so embarrassing when
they would do that, and once in front of my friends.  They finally
got the message and would only do it when we were alone.  'God
what I would give to have another love Dylan party right now,' I
thought to myself.

     The tears flowed from his eyes as he sat there and remembered
the happy times he had growing up with his dads.  He just let them
flow and then he heard a noise.  A cry came from the chair across
the room.  It was facing the window and he could not see who was
sitting in it.  He got up cautiously and grabbed the letter opener.
He carefully walked towards the chair with the letter opener in
front of him as a knife ready to stab the intruder.  As he got to the
back of the chair, he noticed the gun on the floor beside it.  He
quietly bent down and crawled to retrieve it.  He took it into his
hands and pointed it towards the chair as he slowly walked around
it feeling braver holding the gun when.

"My God dad what happened," he said as he saw the blood on his
dad's white shirt.  "Dad please wake up, its me Dylan.  Oh my God
he shot himself," he said with his mind racing and panic racking
his brain.  'I must call 911,' he thought and raced to the desk.  He
picked up the phone and dialed,

"911 what is your emergency," asked the operator.

"My dad is shot and he is bleeding badly," he tells the operator
now with full panic driving him on.

"Is he alive sir," she asks.

"Yes but I don't know for how much longer," he shouts.

"I show your address as 1545 Mulberry Ridge Road, is that
correct," she asks him "Is this Mr. Kerry-Fitzpatrick?"

"No that's my dad, he is the one shot," Dylan tells he.  "Please
hurry, please."

"Calm down sir and listen to me.  Can you see where the blood is
coming from?"  She asks.

"Ah yes I think so," he says to her.

"Put your hand on the wound and apply pressure to it and hold it
there.  The ambulance will be there shortly." She says.


"We are upstairs on the second floor and the front door is
unlocked," he tells her and she relates it to the ambulance.

     Although it took ten minutes for the ambulance to get there, it
seemed like hours to Dylan.  They arrived and hurried into the
house and heard Dylan yelling from the second floor.

"We are up here please hurry."  He yelled to the attendants.

As they came into the room, they saw Dylan holding the wound
with his hands.

"Please save my dad I can't loose him too."  He pleads.

"Stand back son and let us take over.  You need to talk to the
officer about what happened." The paramedic told him as a
familiar face stepped in the room.  Steve stood in the doorway and
he held out his arms to Dylan, and Dylan ran into them and the
damn opened.  He cried until he had no more tears to shed.  Steve
held him and rubbed his back telling him it would be all right.  The
paramedics had loaded Kyle onto the stretcher and were preparing
him for transport.  Dylan let go of Steve and ran over to him, "Dad
hold on dad please hold on I need you dad," he said through sobs
and tears.

"Son we are taking him to Toronto General," he told Dylan.  "The
officer will take you there," and they left with Kyle.

"Dylan, listen to me and calm down," Steve said.  "You won't be
much good to Kyle like this," he said.

"Uncle Steve, why," he asks him with despair in his voice.  "Why
did he try to kill himself, Uncle Steve, why please tell me."

"I can't Dylan," he says sadly.  "Only your dad knows why.  I
would suspect that it has something to do with Joshua's death."

"I didn't even know that he was sitting there when the coroner and
funeral home came for my dad's body," he told Steve.  "I had just
gotten in, rushed upstairs, and found my dad still lying on the bed I
cried until the doorbell rang and I went to let them in.  The chair
was turned towards the window and with the back so high I didn't
even know or see dad sitting there.  I could have done something if
only I had looked around the room more.  I thought that dad was
off at the funeral home or something.  I should have known that he
would not have left dad alone like that."

"Don't blame yourself son," Steve told him.  "He evidently didn't
want to be found or he would have been more noticeable.  You
come with me and I'll take you to the hospital," he told him and
they left.  At the hospital, they told us that dad was in surgery and
nothing else.

"The doctor will be out when he is finished and brief you on your
dad's condition.  Why don't you wait in the solarium and he will
find you there," the nurse said.

"Come on Dylan lets get a coffee and wait for the doctor," Steve
said to him.

     They waited for almost four hours and Michael and Adam had
joined them when the doctor finally came to see them.

"Are you Dylan, I am Doctor McMillan," the doctor said to me.

"Yes, how's my dad?"  I asked with concern and worry.

"Well he is stable at the moment but in critical condition.  He lost a
lot of blood and we had to do a transfusion.  The gunshot missed
his vital organs but he bled a lot.  The next twenty-four hours will
be critical for him."

"Can I see him doctor," I asked.

"For a moment.  He is still unconscious but he is resting
comfortably.  As I said, the next twenty-four hours will determine
his fate.  Now I have to go check on him so if you will come with
me I will take you to see him."

"Uncle Steve will you come with me please," I asked almost afraid
to see dad alone.

"Sure son lets go," he said and put his arm around me as we
followed the doctor.  When we entered his room, he looked so pale
and drawn.  "My God is he alive doctor?"  I asked.  "He looks so
pale."

"Yes he is.  It is because of his loss of blood that he appears so
pale.  With time, his color will return.  If you like to talk to him
and let him know you are here.  Patients in a comatose state have
said that they remember people talking to them while they were
unconscious."

     I went over to his bedside and took his hand in mine and said,

"Dad, its me Dylan.  If you can hear me please come back to me, I
can't bare to bury both of my dads," I told him.  "I love you dad
and I still need you to be here with me and not to follow dad to
heaven.  Please dad wake up and come back to me, please dad."

"Why don't you go home and rest young man," the doctor said.
"We will call you if anything changes."

     We stayed a few more minutes and left.  Uncle Steve took me
home and Adam said he would stay with me tonight.  On the way
home I told Uncle Steve and Uncle Mike about the letter and the
journal that dad had left me.  I told him that I was reading it when I
heard dad moan.

"What did the letter say Dylan," he asked me.

"It basically said that Josh was is life and reason to live and that he
loved me.  He said that he was taking the only way recourse he
could find for the situation and hoped I would understand.  I
thought he was talking about the journal and not suicide Uncle
Steve." I said and the tears started again.  Adam pulled me to him
and held me rubbing my back telling me that dad would be all
right.  When we got home, I showed them the letter and journal
and told them how I had been reading some of it.  They read the
letter and looked at the journal and then said their goodbyes and
left.

"Dylan you know that your dad loves you, don't you?"  Adam
asked me.

"Yes, but why did he leave me like this.  He just tried to end his
life because he couldn't bare to loose my other dad, don't I mean
anything to him."

"Of course you do Dylan, after all you are his son.  But sometimes
pain can drive us to do things we would second guess if we had the
chance."  He said in his consoling way.  I just sat there in Adam's
arms quietly crying and feeling so abandoned.  Adam was such a
comfort to me and had been through the years.  We grew up
together even though he was a year older than I was.  We even
were in the same grades together because of his birth date.  I loved
having him as a friend and confidant.  We even experimented with
sex a few times together.  We both were popular with the girls and
we were both on the football and golf teams together.  We both
worked out at the school gym and had great bodies to show for it.
He was tall, six foot three, while I was only five foot eleven.  He
had long blond hair and green eyes, while mine were blue with
reddish brown hair.  Even though he was straight and had a
girlfriend, I on the other hand was gay and totally, I love with him;
I had been since I was sixteen.  I wish I could have told him but I
didn't want to loose his friendship.  We laid in bed most of the
night talking about the journal that my dad Josh had kept and
laughed about how my dad had punched his dad thinking him to be
the thieves that had robbed their place.  We laughed even harder at
how his dad kissed mine and then got all embarrassed.  We both
would have loved to see that transpire.  It was along about two
thirty in the morning, and Adam was holding me in bed comforting
me, that I turned in his arms and looked in his eyes and said,

"You know Adam if it hadn't been for you I would not have made
it through this night.  Thank you for being there again in my time
of need and being a friend."  It was then that he pulled me up to his
face and kissed me on the lips.  I pulled away from him, looked
him in the eyes, and said, "Are you sure or is it sympathy?"  He
looked me squarely in the eyes and says, "Is this sympathy," and
he kisses me again and with passion letting our tongues meet and
caress each other.  "I have loved you for so many years and had
always been afraid of loosing you if I told you how I felt," he said.
We kissed again and he climbed on top of me and started to nuzzle
my neck.  'Oh fuck what he is making me feel,' I thought.  He
kissed and gently bit on my ears until I thought I would cum right
then.

"My God Adam how much time we wasted being afraid to share
our true feelings," I told him looking into his eyes.

"But just think the fun we will have making up for lost time," he
said with a grin.  'Oh God, not him to with an irresistible grin.' I
thought.  We got up, undressed, and got back into bed.  He took me
into his arms, kissed me, and told me how much he loved me.  He
was kissing my neck when he whispered in my ear,

"Dylan I love you and I want to fuck you, but only if you want to."

"If I want to," I said to him with passion in my voice.  "I have
wanted that since I was sixteen," I said and kissed him again with
passion and urgency in my lips.  He sits up and asks me,

"Have you ever done this before?"

"No you will be my first love," I tell him.  "Am I your first," I ask.

"Yes babe contrary to the rumors you heard about Marybeth and
me."  He said.  "I am a virgin also and had saved myself just
hoping for just this moment."  He kisses me, and drops to my
nipples and softly sucks and bites them and caresses them with his
tongue.  He goes down to my cock, takes it in his hand, kisses it,
and licks the pre-cum off.  He takes it fully into his mouth and
sucks it down to my pubes arousing feeling I never knew I had.
My hips rise to meet his downward sucks.  He places a finger at
my hole and slowly rubs around it.

"Oh fuck Adam what are you doing to me," I say in short gasps.
He pulls off my cock, wets his finger, and goes back down on my
cock.  He gently pushes his finger into my hole and my ass jumps
off the bed.  Slowly he works my ass and hits my prostate making
me jump again.

"Oh fuck what is that you are rubbing babe," I ask.

"Its your prostate," he says.

"Well you better stop if you are going to fuck me because you
have me ready to cum." I tell him.  He pulls out his finger and
asks,

"You have any lube Dylan?"

"In the top drawer of the nightstand," I tell him.  "I use it to jerk
off with."  He finds it and squirts some on his dick and on my hole.
He gently rubs it into my asshole and just about brings to a climax.

"Love just fuck me or I will come right now, you have me that
close," I tell him.  I reach down and work the lube in on his cock.
He pushes my legs up and apart back to my chest and lines up his
cock with my hole.

"This is going to hurt babe," he tells me.

"Just go slow babe a little at a time," I say.  "How big are you
anyway." I ask.

"Almost ten inches and fat." He says with pride.

"Just go real slow and I do mean slow babe." I warned him with a
smile.

"I will love and just tell me to stop and I will and pull out," he says
with concern in his voice.  He pushes against my asshole and it
resists.  I push back as he again pushes and the head pops through.

"Oh fuck that hurts, my God that hurts Adam," I protest.  He stops
and pulls it out.

"I can't hurt you Dylan, you mean to much to me," he says with
tears in his eyes.

"No babe try again and stop to let me get accustom to it.  This my
first time and my ass needs to stretch." I tell him.  He lubes my ass
more and his cock and gently pushes in his cock head.  It doesn't
hurt as much this time and I tell him to push more in.  He adds
another few inches in and stops to let me relax.  We continue this
way until he has his whole cock in me.

"You alright love," he asks.

"Yeah oh fuck yeah," I tell him.  "You feel so fucking good in me
I could stay this way forever."  He slowly starts to fuck me, in and
out only a little at a time until we find a rhythm.  He is fucking me
in and out now almost all the way out and slamming it in deep and
hard hitting my prostate with each push.

"Oh fuck me babe harder.deeper babe I'm going to cum babe," I
yell.  He leans down and kisses me deep and hard.  I shoot my cum
between us as we kiss.  My ass constricts around his cock and
pushes him over the brink.  The feeling of his cum filling my ass
makes me cum a second time and I shoot all over my chest.  He
keeps fucking until he has no more to give and pulls out.  He lifts
me up into his embrace and we kiss in the afterglow of our first
lovemaking.

"Oh Adam that was the most amazing thing I have ever
experienced." I tell him with love in my eyes.  "I love you my love
and will forever even if you don't want to become a couple," I add
with hope in my voice.

"Dylan how could I cut off my right arm or my left leg and still be
hole.  You are the part of me I have been missing my entire life
babe.  I could not; no will not let you go now or later.  You are my
life now and to loose you is to die my love." He says and pulls me
close and kisses me deeply and passionately.  We fall to sleep
holding each other as if someone might steal us.  We awake around
ten when the telephone rings.  I jump out of my sleep and grab it
before the second ring.

"Hello, this is Dylan Kerry-Fitzpatrick," I say with a touch of fear
in my voice.

"This is Toronto General.  Doctor McMillan asked me to call and
tell you that your father has awoken and is asking for you," the
nurse said.

"Tell him I will be right there, and thank you," I said with
excitement in my voice.  I hung up and jumped out of bed running
for the bathroom and a shower yelling,

"Adam dads awake and wants to see me love. Hurry, lets shower
and get to the hospital."  We are in the car and at the hospital in
less than forty-five minutes.  Adam drops me off at the hospital
entrance and goes to park the car.  I take the elevator to the fifth
floor and I run down the hall to Intensive Care.  My dad's door is
open and his bed is stripped.  He is nowhere to be seen.  Fear
strikes my heart, I see Adam coming down the hall, and I run to
him.

"Adam dad's gone," I tell him in tears now.  "I was just in his
room and it has been stripped and made ready for the next patient."

"There has got to be a logical explanation Dylan," he says with
reassurance to his statement.  "Lets check at the nurses station and
inquire as to where he has been moved, ok love."  We go to the
nurse's station and the head nurse tells me that dad has been
moved to the psychiatric ward.

"Psychiatric ward but why," I ask.

"Well he did try to commit suicide and it is the law that patients
that have tried suicide be moved and held in the psychiatric ward
and get treatment.  Also it is to protect them from trying it again."
She explains.

"Oh my God Adam they think my dad is crazy," I say crying
again.  "How much more does this family have to take before
things change."  I ask.  "Where is this ward located," I ask.

"Well.err.let me call Doctor McMillan for you.  Why don't you
wait in the waiting room and I will send him into you." She says
stammering.  We went in and waited as Doctor McMillan was
paged.  About ten minutes later, the doctor came into the waiting
room and directed us into a private office.

"Lets have a seat and I will answer all your questions," he says
rather professionally.

"Why have they moved my dad to the psych ward," I asked very
sternly.

"Well the law says that a person who tries suicide is a danger to
himself and must undergo evaluation and mental treatment.  Your
father tried to end his life and he must be treated as if he would do
it again." He says.

"But my dad was distraught over loosing his life long partner," I
said.

"I know Dylan but he is still deep into grieving and could very
well try it again and this time he might succeed." He says.  "He
needs supervision and evaluation.  He will be treated as any other
patient with care and professionalism."

"Can I see him doctor," I ask.

"Of course, why don't you come with me and I will set you both
up with the necessary passes to gain entrance into the ward.  You
see even though he is not a criminal that ward is locked up tight as
a drum to prevent patients from leaving without permission." He
tells us.  "All visitors must have a special pass to gain entry into
the ward for visitation." He adds. "Now gentlemen lets go and set
up the passes and get you into see your dad.  He is awake and very
depressed but he has asked about you Dylan."  By now, my eyes
are full of tears and Adam takes me in his arms and sooths me and
we head up to the ward that has my dad.  When we arrive a guard
sitting at a desk asks for our pass.  The doctor gives our passes to
the guard and he checks them against a list and hands them back to
the doctor who gives us back our passes and says,

"Remember you must have your pass and it must be presented to
the duty guard before you can enter." He tells us.  The guard gets
up, opens the locked doors, and lets us pass.  The ward is quiet and
all the doors are closed.

"Are all these doors locked also," I ask.

"Most are to protect the patient.  But some, like your dad's is
unlocked." He says.  He leads down the hall to the end room,
knocks softly, and opens the door.  My dad is sitting in a chair
facing out the bar covered window.  His face is expressionless and
his eyes are swollen from crying.  His skin is white as snow.  He is
wearing a Johnny and is slightly opened in the back showing his
bandages.  I place my hand to my mouth in shock fighting back
tears.  Adam can sense my discomfort, puts his arm around my
shoulder, and says,

"You got to be brave babe, for your dad."

"I know but the shock of appearance caught me off guard," I say.
"He looks so frail and helpless sitting there just starring." I turn to
the doctor and ask,  "Does he know I am here doc?"

"He does but in his condition nothing matters to him right now but
his pain for your other dad," he says.  "His grief is so intense that
nothing else matters to him but his loss."  The doctor walks over to
my dad and puts his hand on his shoulder and says,

"Kyle your son is here to see you."  He shifts his gaze towards me
for a moment and returns it to the window.  I walk over to him,
kneel down in front him, take his hands in mine, lift them up, and
kiss them.  I lift my eyes to his empty ones and say,

"Dad it's me, Dylan.  Dad I love you and need you to come back to
me, dad."  Again, his gaze shifts to me for a brief moment and
returns it to the window.  I lay my head on his lap and cry, deep
hard sobs until I feel his hand on my head gently stroking my hair.
I lift my head to face him and he is looking at me and says,

"Don't cry my son, not for me but for my Joshua.  I am so sorry for
putting you through this pain but I cannot go on without him son.
He was my life, the very air I breathed.  How can do you continue
without your heart?  How does one continue without love, a love
that sustained the very beating of your heart." He looks deeply into
my eyes and says, "Forgive me my precious son for the pain I have
caused you but I can not, will not go on without the man I lived my
life for."  He then shifts his gaze again to the window and stares.

"But dad, what of my life, I need you also dad," I pleaded.  "Its not
fare to think of just yourself dad.  He wouldn't have wanted you to
do this.  He told you many times when he knew that the cancer was
beating him that he wanted you to go on and be happy again."

"Happy!  How can I be happy and go on without my bud?  How
does one survive without that which sustained them in life." He
said still staring out the window with that far away blank
expression on his face.

"Would you have wanted him to do this if circumstances had been
reversed," I asked.  "Would you have wanted him to throw away
his life just because he missed you?"  He was silent for a long
moment and then turned to me and said,

"Have you ever been in love my son?  He asked me.  "A deep, give
up your life for them love?  How can you ask me to but aside my
grief and go on in life if you have never had that kind of life."

"Dad I know that kind of love.  Adam is my life and has been since
I was sixteen," I tell him.  He turns to me and then Adam and for
just a second I recognize the man who is my dad.  "Yes dad, Adam
and I are very much in love and have been for some time.  I would
lay down my life for this man and he for me," I tell him while
reaching out my hand towards Adam.  He rushes over to my side
and takes my hand in his and says,

"Its true Uncle Kyle, our love is no different than what you and
Uncle Josh had," he says with emotion in his voice.  "I would also
give my life so that Dylan could live.  He is more than the air I
breathe; his is my very heart that sustains my life."  I look up at
Adam and for the first time I realize that we have revealed our true
feelings for each other to my dad.  My dad turns and looks at me
says,

"I can see the love I had for my bud in your eyes for Adam.  Know
son that, that love will not only give you great joy but also sorrow.
That kind of love knows no dept; it is a bottomless love that grows
larger each day.  My son, relish that love, let it envelope you until
you can hold no more, and then let grow even greater until you can
not tell where you end and he begins."  He says and for a brief
moment, he smiles that grin that always got its way with dad.
"Bud's death is so hard because it showed me were he ended and I
began.  All our years together, I never was I and he was not he.
We were we; a dynamic team that sustained all that life threw at
us.  Our love could move mountains and could conquer the most
difficult of problems.  Son I hope you and Adam find that kind of
love and never, ever take it for granted because in an instant it can
be gone.  Now I am tired son and want to rest.  Please don't grieve
for me, but let your love for Bud and I fertilize the love you have
for Adam.  I love you Dylan and even though you think me, selfish
now I will survive because you were right.  Bud would not have
wanted me to let our love die but let it sustain me until we are
together again.  Thank you son and you also Adam for helping me
see what I would loose.  Now kiss your dad, go home, and let me
rest.  I will be all right with time and this good doctor's help."  We
gave him a kiss and hug and told him we would be back tomorrow
and left.  Before we had walked out the door he said,

"Son on my nightstand is a picture of us that was taken at
Woodstock.  Would you bring it to me please," he asks.

"Yeah dad I know the one.  It's the one with that stupid grin that
dad couldn't resist." I tell him.  "You know dad, Adam has that
same grin."

"I do not," Adam says.  "That's my charm babe."  He laughs and
walks out the door holding my hand.  We got home and sat for the
longest time just holding each other and kissing.  I felt like a
teenager in love for the first time.  Adam turns me to face him,
looks in my eyes, and says,

"Did you mean those things you said about our love to your dad?"

"Of course, I meant every word I spoke."  I told him.  "I know that
we didn't have time last night to speak our heart, but babe, you are
my love and life.  I have felt that way since I was sixteen and
thought the world revolved around you." I drew him in and kissed
him hard, long and passionately.  Adam just sat there with his grin
and looked at me until he said,

"You know I hope that we have the kind of love our dads had.  I
have loved you since I was fifteen.  You had such a cute little way
of needing help and you always came to me for it.  I can't say
whether we will have a long life together but I do know that
whatever God gives us I will love only you my love."  He kissed
me with a kiss that would have made the gods jealous.  We talked
later about my dad and if he would recover.  I mentioned bringing
the journal to him and let him read some of the things Josh wrote.
We decided to go over to Adam's house and tell his dads about our
love and update them on my dad.  When we got there, Michael
greeted me with a hug and kisses and asked how dad was.  I told
him about how they had moved him and how despondent he was.
Then when we had both of them together we told them about us.

"We want to share something with you both," Adam said.  They
looked at each other and then back at us.  "Dylan and I are a couple
now and we have pledged our love to each other until we can
marry." He said with that grin on his face.  He looked like a kid in
a candy store he was so excited. They both got up and gave us a
big hug and kiss and told us,

"We always knew you two would end up together.  The way you
were both so inseparable growing up we just knew.  We are so
happy for you both and just wish that Josh could have been here to
share this happy moment."  Michael was almost crying and Steven
just laughed and said,  "my God Michael you get so dramatic over
the funniest things," and we all laughed.

"We have to have a party for you both, a reception type party,"
Michael said.

"Not yet please Uncle Mike," I said.  "Lets wait until my dad is
better and he to can enjoy our love."

"Your right Dylan we can have it as soon as he recovers." He said.
"I am so happy for you both that I want to tell the world."

     Adam and I stayed for dinner and then headed back to my
house.  We had a bittersweet day because of dad's mental
condition and it totally wiped us out.  We were in bed by nine and
asleep shortly after.  The telephone rang at one-thirty and it was
the hospital.

"Dylan this is Dr. McMillan calling," he said.  "Your father has
suffered a heart attack and is in critical condition," he told me.
"His outlook is not good and I think you should come right over.
He is in the Cardiac Unit on the third floor, room ten."

"Dylan what's wrong babe," Adam asked me.

"Dad has had a heart attack and it doesn't look good." I tell him.
"I need to get to the hospital Adam."

     We dressed and got to the hospital within an hour after the call.
Dad's doctor met us and he told us that a heart specialist had been
called in.  The outlook was not good because of dad's mental state
the doctor told us.  He told us that dad was resting comfortably and
was somewhat awake.  We went in and dad had all kinds of tubes
and wires keeping him alive.  I looked at him and kissed his
forehead and said,

"Dad I am here with you and I love you dad."  He opened his eyes
and tried to speak but the tube in his mouth made it impossible.

"Don't speak dad I know you love me," I said.  What I was about
to say took every bit of strength I owned.  "Dad look at me please.
I know you miss Josh and I know you want to be with him.  I love
you and I understand how you feel now.  Adam and I are a couple
dad and if you are holding on just for me dad.you don't have to.
Adam is here for me and will take care of me dad.  So if you want
to let go and be with Josh you can go with my blessing and love
dad." I said with tears in my eyes running down my cheeks.  Adam
was behind me holding me close as dad smiled and closed his eyes
and died.  The doctor and nurse came running when the heart
monitor started to beep signaling that dad's heart had stopped
beating.  The doctor looked at me and I said,

"Don't try to revive him please; he is with his Bud now and
happy."  I cried so hard and thought I would never stop.  Adam just
held me tight and caressed me saying,

"He is in a better place now love.  He is with your other dad and
they are complete again."

"I know," I said between sobs.  "But it doesn't make it any easier."
I bent down, kissed dad softly on his forehead, and told him that I
loved him and to give my love to daddy Josh.  My heart hurt so
much I thought it would break.

"Take me home Adam, please," I said to him.  "Can you have the
funeral home come and pick up my dad and do the same for him as
they did for Josh," I asked the doctor.

"I will Dylan and please accept my deepest condolences." He said.
Adam took me home and I called the funeral home and told them
that I wanted the service as soon as possible for both my dads.  I
told them that was to be cremated and that I would like together in
the same urn.  They told me that my first dad had been cremated
already and his ashes were there and that they would add my other
dad's ashes to them.  I thanked them and Adam and I went for a
nap, this day had been so exhausting mentally that I needed to sort
out my thoughts.  I felt melancholy about telling my dad it was ok
to go to my other dad.  I knew he wanted to but it still hurt me to
say it.  Adam has been a great comfort through all this.  He has
been my support and strength.  I fell asleep in Adam's arms and
slept through to the next day.  When I woke up the pain woke with
me.  It strangled me. I screamed out for Adam when I couldn't find
him and he came running almost immediately.

"What's the matter babe?" He asked.

"I could not find you and I thought I had lost you also," I cried.

"You could never loose me babe, I am here for you and always
will be."  He said hugging me and kissing me softly on the lips.
He brought me a cup of coffee and asked if I was hungry.  I told
him no the coffee was fine.  I got up, took a shower, and felt at
least revived by it.  I dressed and went downstairs to the living
room and found Adam sitting there with another man.  He was tall
and in a dark blue business suit.  As I walked in he rose and
extended his hand saying,

"Good Morning, my name is Brian Campbell.  I was your dads
lawyer for years," he said.  "I have brought his will over to review
it with you.  As you know, your dad Joshua left everything to your
dad Kyle.  Now in his will he leaves everything to you young
man."

"I guess I knew that," I said asking if I could get him a drink.

"No thank you I am fine," he said.  "I figured you knew you would
be his heir but do you know the exact extent and value of his
estate," he asked.

"No sir I don't think so," I said.  "I figured that had to be around a
couple of hundred thousand dollars," I added.

"Sir, your dads together were worth in excess of three hundred
million dollars.  That is not counting their stocks and bonds that
they held in a safety deposit box at the Royal Bank on Bloor Street
in town," he said.

"Excuse me I thought I heard you say millions," I asked.

"Yes sir three hundred ninety seven thousand four hundred eleven
dollars." He said with a smile.  "He, Kyle, was principle stock
holder in his late mothers manufacturing business.  Now those
stocks revert to you and makes you the largest share holder."

"Oh my.oh I don't.can't comprehend." I was totally tongue-
tied.  He also left you a house on Martha's Vineyard, ah.lets
see.oh yes here it is, a eighteen room Victorian in Oak Bluff on
Martha's Vineyard.  I believe it belonged to your dad Joshua's
family and of course your dad's vacation home in Hawaii.  So
young man you are very well of for a man of twenty seven," he
said.  I couldn't believe it.  I didn't know what to do with such
wealth.  I knew though, that I would give it all up just to have both
of my dads back.  Mr. Campbell stood and offered his hand and
bid us good day.  He said that I could stop by his office at my
convenience and sign the necessary papers.  We showed him to the
door and went back into the living room.

"Can you believe what Mr. Campbell said," I said looking at
Adam.

"Babe your dads were savvy business men and they amassed
millions.  You won't ever have to worry again about money babe."

"I know but it is still such a shock," I said.  "This is going to take
some getting use to," I added.  "I never imagined being a
millionaire love.  What does one do with over three hundred
million dollars?"

"Anything they want to," he said with a touch of humor to his
voice.

"Well I need to meet with the funeral director today and make
arrangements for my dad's service.  I also need to place the
obituary with the Toronto Star and the Columbus Dispatch.  I had
already placed the obituary for Josh with the Springfield
Republican on Monday after he died.  This way their friends from
the states would know of their passing." I explained.  "Later I want
to read some more in dad's journal.  It makes me feel like I was
there with them and close to them."

"I would enjoy reading it with you if I may babe," he asked.

"If you may or course you may.  Adam lets get this straight right
now.  I pledged my love to you forever babe and I hope you meant
to keep your pledge also.  You are my family and life now and I
wouldn't have it any other way."  I told him in a tone that he knew
that I meant business.

"Of course I meant every word I said last night love.  I just thought
that now."

"Now that I had money I wouldn't want you," I interrupted.

"Well.yes.I guess."  He said sadly.

"I am the same person now that I was last night, just a few dollars
richer." I said taking him in my arms and kissing him.  "Besides, I
need someone to keep me grounded.  Now I want to take you to
bed and have you make love to me babe.  Ever fuck a millionaire,"
I ask pushing him over unto the sofa and running for the bedroom.

"You little shit I'm going to get you and fuck that cute ass of your
real good," he says.



One year later.

     I was sitting in my study typing when Adam came in and stood
behind and nuzzled my neck.  He was reading over my shoulder as
well and after awhile he said,

"What the fuck are you writing?"

"I'm putting together a story based on some of the journal entries
dad had made," I told him. "There are quite a few entries here with
your parents included and some are quite hilarious. Here is one for
instance."

'July 1976- Fourth of July Celebration.

     We had decided to join Steven and Michael up at the lake house
they rented for a barbecue and to just relax.  Kyle has been out
straight with classes and now in summer school we hardly get any
us time anymore. We haven't had sex now in three weeks and my
ass is growing back its virginity. When Steven called and invited
us to spend the four-day weekend with them up at the lake I
accepted before talking to Kyle.
     We arrived about six-thirty on Friday and the car was packed.
Mike came out to greet us with a hug and kiss.  We unloaded the
car and put our things away, I joined Mike in the kitchen while
Kyle, and Steve headed outside. Mike and I started to talk about
things and I said,
"You know Kyle and I have not had a minute to ourselves in
weeks.  Why we haven't had sex in three and my ass feels like a
virgin again.  He is so busy with summer classes trying to finish
his degree early that he has completely forgotten that I am around.
I know he wants to finish early and get a jump on the kids that will
graduate a year later but I am afraid he is going to burn himself
out."

"Why don't you let me take care of Dylan, he can play with Adam
and you two go for a walk in the woods. There is a path that leads
to an old lean to that is quite secluded if you know what I mean,"
he tells me.

"You don't mind, we just got here and now we go wandering off,"
I say.

"Don't be silly, I know what its like to be horny and can't find the
time to get off, now go," he says pushing me out the door. "Oh and
send Steve in ok," he adds.

"Sure thing hun, and thanks I owe you one," I tell him hurrying out
the door.

"Hey Steve, Michael wants to see you a moment," I tell him.  As
soon as Steve is gone, I grab Kyle's hand and lead him off into the
woods.

"Where are we going bud," he asks.

"You'll see babe, now just be quiet and follow me," I tell him and
give him a wink.  We walk for about two miles and come across
the lean to that Mike had told me about.  It was still in somewhat
good condition and had a few platforms that could be used as beds.
I pulled Kyle over to one of the platforms and sat down in front of
him. I unbuckle his belt and shorts and pull down the zipper.  His
shorts fall to the ground and he says,

"Is this cool right here, what if someone comes across us," he asks.

"Mike told me about this place and told me to go for it.  Besides
you have not given me any in over three weeks and my cherry is
growing back," I tell him with determination in my voice.

     He steps out of his shorts, I remove his boxers, and he steps out
of them.  He is fucking naked and he watches me as I undress. He
takes me in his arms and kisses me and then says,

"Bud this is just like Woodstock babe. Being naked and outdoors
like this in the open."

"Yeah some, but a few thousand people less," I tell him and again
we kiss. I drop down to my knees and start to suck on his large
man cock; oh, it feels so good in my mouth.  It takes about ten
seconds for it to get steel hard.  I swallow it into my throat and he
says,

"Bud you better stop or I'm going to cum soon."

     I keep on sucking and begin to feel his cock head swell.

"Oh fuck Bud don't stop I'm cumming.  Oh fuck.so good.so
fucking good babe." He says between gasps of air. Click.

"Mmmmmm," I moan with a mouth full of cock. He explodes into
my mouth and his sweet fucking man seed flows down my throat,
'mmmmm good.  Fuck you Campbell Soup' I think to myself as I
swallow all he has to offer.  Click.  He pulls me to my feet and
kisses me tasting his own cum.  He lays me down on the platform,
gets between my legs, and goes down on my cock.

"Oh fuck that feels so fucking good babe," I say with my head
moving from side to side. "We have to make time for us more
often babe, oh yeah just like that babe. Another minute and my nut
is dumping down his throat. "Oh fuck babe, don't stop I have so
much cum for you," I yell out in ecstasy. Click. I finish and he
climbs up onto my chest and gives me a taste of my own cum with
the most passionate kiss he has ever given me.

"I love you so fucking much Bud." He says. "You make my world
rock the way you love me."

"And you are my morning and night love," I tell him. "Your love
makes days and nights so worth living babe. I love you so much
babe." Click.  We get dressed and slowly walk back to the camp
stopping every so many feet to kiss and hug. 'God life is so
fucking good' I say to myself and smile at man who is leading me
back hand in hand.  We get back and have a great dinner.  We sit
around a fire that Steve has started and watch the stars slowly fill
the night sky. I am leaning against Kyle and Mike is leaning
against Steve just chilling in our love for each other.  The next
morning we get up and when I go into the kitchen there on the
cupboard doors are Polaroid pictures of us having sex in the
woods. I blush as I look at them and wonder when, how, who
could have done this. When I hear a laugh from behind me; it's
Steven and Michael and they are laughing so hard at my
embarrassment. Kyle comes into the room naked and says,

"What's so funny out here?"

"Babe look.hell you're naked babe what the fuck are you doing?"
I ask looking so shocked at his appearance.

"To hot and humid to wear clothes so I thought I would go naked
seeing how we are in the middle of nowhere." He says with a grin.
"Sounds good," Steve says and starts to strip. Michael is staring in
complete shock and then says,

"Oh what the fuck Josh lets go," and he starts to strip also.  I am
the only one still dressed looking at my lover man and two best
friends standing there naked and says,

"Well if you all are going to go naked I might as well join you,"
and I to undress.

"Wait one fucking minute here," I say in a perplexed tone. "Who
took these pictures of us yesterday in the lean to."

"I did," says Steve with a shit-eating grin. "I just got this new
Polaroid camera and wanted to try it out and well when Michael
told me where you were going and why, well I decided to try it out
on you two.  Nice shots, no pun intended," he says and laughs
again.  We all start to laugh and I take the pictures down and say,

"Souvenirs of our weekend, thanks guys."


     "Wow, I never knew about that weekend, did you bud," Adam
says with a smile on his face.

"No but it sure sounded like they had a great time doesn't it."

"Yeah it does," he says and adds, "remind me to mention that
weekend to my dads. I think you writing about their life together
will make for great and amusing reading babe. Hey are you
keeping a journal about us babe," he asks with a suspicious look in
his eyes.

"Maybe but you will not find out until you are real old lover," I
muse.
This ends the story of Josh and Kyle and the saga of Dylan and
Adam begins with 'Adam's Rib'. I hope you have enjoyed my first
attempt at writing and please, let me know what you think.  Randy.