Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 16:32:24 EST
From: Stefan <SSch191950@aol.com>
Subject: The Knife That Twists Within

The Knife That Twists Within

by Stefan


Part 11

It was half past seven and bright enough to turn off the light. Nicholas had
listened to the news on the radio and the weather forecast which had promised
rain again and now waited impatiently for Sebastian's call. Maybe he was still
busy doing more exciting things with Kay and had simply forgotten.

He sat down again at the table and emptied his mug of coffee but was too
excited to eat. He decided he had got up much too early. It had been a fitful
night for both of them; Marcus was very confused and Simon's picture on the
wall hadn't helped to calm down the situation. Nicholas sensed for the first
time that his lover's mind was far away and not with him and there was little
he could do against it.

Nicholas sighed and looked for the 10th time in two minutes at his watch.
Then he opened the book beside him. It dealt with the Brotherhood of the
Pre-Raphaelites to which Edward Burne-Jones had belonged. He looked into the
face of a beautiful woman with long red hair and admired the bright colours.
To bad, Rossetti wasn't gay, the men he painted then, would had been wonderful.


The telephone rang in the hall. Nicholas jumped up startled and almost knocked
over his mug.

   "Yes", he said breathlessly.

   "Sweetie?" Kay asked.

   "Yes, good news?"

   "No, I'm sorry. We waited the whole night until the club was closed, but he
didn't show up. But there were several boys who knew him, and told us other
places. All gay-clubs."

Nicholas nodded disappointed.

   "Sweetie? You still there?"

   "Yes, sorry. That's a shame." He saw Marcus coming downstairs, dressed only
in his faded jeans and with bare feet. He looked questioningly at him, and
Nicholas shook his head. Marcus grimaced and disappeared into the kitchen.

   "We didn't like the hangout Nicki, it was a grunge-club and I guess a
favourite place for dealer. I only hope Simon isn't into it deep, but then,
as long as I can remember, Simon was always in deep shit. The time he and
Marcus were together was the only time he seemed to be happy." He interrupted
himself. "I'm chattering too much. How's Marcus?"

   "Not too good. We had a disturbed night."

   "I'm sorry about that. Is he mad with me?"

   "No, I don't think so. He worries about Simon."

   "Can you get him on the phone? Bastian wants to speak with him. Are you going
to the Academy now? Good luck."

   "Thanks. For everything."

There was a pause on the line until he heard Sebastian's deep, sexy voice.
"Nicki? Still there?"

   "Yes."

   "Marcus up?"

   "I'll call him. Bye, Bastian."

   "Nicki," Sebastian shouted into the receiver, "Wait. Is everything ok with
you two?"

   "Why do you ask?"

   "You know why I'm asking."

   "It's all ok, Sebastian. Really."

He put the receiver down beside the phone and called Marcus who rushed out of
the kitchen and picked up the receiver. Nicholas wanted to go but he held him
tight around the waist and pulled him to his chest, pressed his lips on
Nicholas' and said then "Yeah, Bastian. What's up?"

Nicholas hands roamed over Marcus' naked, silky skin, down to the round globes
of his ass and gave it a light pinch. Involuntary Marcus twitched a bit and
grinned. Nicholas gave him a quick kiss and went away.

   "What did you say?" he asked.

   "Hey, otherwise occupied at the moment?" Sebastian teased.

   "No, no. Tell me all about it."

   "There isn't much to tell. Evil establishment, as Kay would say. But we
have some addresses we'll visit in the next days. Perhaps the weekend will be
a better time."

   "Too bad. Listen, I'm not cross with Kay, tell him that. It hasn't changed
anything, if I had know it or not. It's only a bit strange to realize that they
both are brothers and I can't quite understand the reason he never told me. I
mean I often went to the shop and there have been many possibilities to tell
me."

   "Yes, I can't understand it either. I guess it was sort of a quirk, so
better forget it."

   "Is it going to be serious with both of you?"

It was quite on the line for a moment. "Maybe. He's a good boy." Then he
snorted. "Jesus, I sound like my own grandfather. He's only three years
younger than me!"

Marcus joined in with his laughter. "I'm happy for you. What about Rome? Or do
you want to stay here for the summer?"

   "Haven't figured it out yet. Kay doesn't want to stop his foolish work
because he enjoys it, so ..."

   "You have to wait until his holidays? My, if I were you I'd kidnap him
and take him away by force!"

   "Ha! That's an idea. Must stop now. Call you tomorrow, ok?"



Marcus found Nicholas in the kitchen, still leafing through the book. He
embraced him from behind and nibbled at his earlobe. "Like Rossetti?"

   "Yes, I wish he'd painted young men though. Have you seen the originals?"

Marcus nodded. "Yes, but they are spread all over, London, Birmingham,
Manchester..."

Nicholas leaned his cheek against Marcus'. "I would like to visit your working
hall again, meet Johannes."

   "Good, I want to go there anyway. Come when you have finished your lession."
He stopped. "Oh, I guess, that not a good idea. Where's your timetable? Of
course I'll pick you up."

   "But no, you don't have to. I can take care of myself."

   "Can you?"

Nicholas knew it was meant seriously. "I'm finished at 2 pm. You can pick me
up in front of it, ok?" He grabbed Marcus' hand and whispered, "I wish I
didn't have to go right now."

   "Me, too, angel. But it's good for you, you know."

Nicholas' sighed. Of course he would enjoy the atmosphere of the Academy again,
but now... He thought about Frank and the grin at his face. Certainly now
that he had managed to join his working group, he wouldn't want to change and
make trouble; he had to face it.

Aloud he said, "If you want to drive me I guess it's better you get dressed or
do you want to go half naked?"

Marcus grinned. Nicholas watched him go out and his fingers were itching to
grab a pen and capture the figure of his lover on paper.



One hour later Nicholas stepped out of the car and entered the red brick
building. He found the high working room easily where most of all students
had gathered and were unpacking their utensils.

He gave them a slight smile and his face lit up as he saw Ben entering the
room. Ben went instantly to him and smiled. "Hi, Nick. How's your hand?"

   "Better every day. Have to go to the doc in two days but I guess it will be
ok. It's only sprained."

   "You should take better care of your hands if you want to become a great
artist, my friend. Frank showed me some of your paintings. There are really
good."

Nicholas looked amazed. "Did he indeed? They are still there?"

   "Yes. In his flat and look, here!" He pointed at the back wall of the room
where several sketches and complete paintings were displayed.

But Nicholas didn't see them because the phrase 'in his flat' still
reverberated in his ears. He shot a sharp glance at Ben's innocent face. The
thick, black hair was combed from his forehead. A thin, dark ribbon held it at
his neck and his black glass framed spectacles suited him very well. He could
easily imagine that Frank was after him.

   "Are you dreaming?" Ben's voice brought him back to reality.

   "Yes, I see, they are still hanging there. I'm only surprised after such a
long time." He turned to face Ben. "You were at his flat?"

   "But yes. What's wrong with that?"

   "Nothing", he said shortly. "Have a got a girlfriend?"

   "Huh?" Ben's ears reddened briefly and Nicholas bite his tongue. What a
jerk! he thought. Now it must be obvious for Ben that he - Nick - was
interested in him. So he tried a harmless smile and added "I mean, if you are
interested, I have a friend who has lately broken with her boyfriend, so I
thought it could be a good idea to meet after school or at the weekend, what
do you think?" Nicholas wondered about himself how easily these lies came to
his lips.

   "Um, well," Ben struggled for words. Nicholas patted his shoulder.

   "Think about it, you don't have to."

Frank entered the room in his usual stark white smock. He looked around, and
beckoned Nicholas to him. As all went quiet he said, "I want to introduce a
new student. Nicholas has attended this working group already but broke up
because of ...  family problems some month ago. Now he will be continuing
where he stopped. And," he gave Nicholas a very bright smile, "I'm happy about
it, kids. If you turn round you can see some of his work on the wall."

All heads turned as if on a secret command and then back to the slightly
embarrassed young lad. Frank had put his arm around his shoulder and the
touch was burning like fire through his T-Shirt. He croaked a "Hi" to the
students and tottered weakly to a free place next to Ben.

   "Until now we have learnt to know water colour in its purest form. But
today we are going to start with gouache colour, it's a mixture of covering
and also white pigments."

Frank's voice scarcely reached Nicholas' ears. He was aware of Ben's closeness
and his thoughts raced through his mind. What could it mean, that Ben had
obviously visited Frank at home. Was he another 'best student' Frank picked
out to show around his paintings? Or was there more behind it?

   "Gouache is more thicker than the transparent watercolour and has a high
degree of saturation. A big advantage is the possibility to achieving every
form of colouring with an addition of white and to paint with gouache like
with oil paint; covering other colours which is of course impossible with
water colours."

He watched Ben's profile from aside. He had taken off his glasses, twisting
the ear pieces between two fingers and seemed all ears. To ask him about a
girlfriend was a very weak idea Nicholas thought, and a stupid one, too. He
looked at Frank, polite and likeable as ever, standing in front of the
students who gave his lectures relaxed and casually and apparently without any
effort. Now and again his look met Nicholas and then he could see how a spark
twinkled in his eyes.

Nicholas' anger grew. Frank's touch on his shoulder seemed to have burnt into
his flesh and he wondered, if anybody else around here was able to look behind
Frank's mask. Outwardly he was always the good friendly, comradely teacher,
but were was the other being Nicholas had certainly experienced.

He tried to concentrate at Frank words but failed most of the time. All he
could do was listen anyway, but as the students opened their colour- and
brush boxes he watched Ben intensily at his first attempts to mix two colours
together and then three as Frank suggested. Together with Ben he looked at the
result and found it good and almost as it was instructed. Ben smiled at him.

   "I'll make two of these attempts, one is for you to have a look at home,
ok?"

Nicholas smiled back. "Thanks. Would be very useful for me."

He still looked at Ben who had put on his glasses again and met his gaze.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

   "No. It's ... I'm trying to figure out..." He bit his lower lip. "How well
do you know Frank?"

   "Oh, he gives me private lessons because he thinks I'm good enough to."

Nicholas nodded.

   "Problems?" he heard Frank's voice behind his back. Without turning he
said a short "no".

   "Have you bought everything you need?"

   "Not yet."

Nicholas wished he would go away and leave him alone, but he felt the heat
his body was radiating behind him. But then Frank bent down to Ben and
whispered "I have to speak with you, can you come to the office during the
break?" Ben nodded pleased.




It wasn't difficult for Nicholas to find his way again in the large canteen,
there had nothing changed and it resembled the one in his shopping centre.
The same smells, the same noise. With his plate he searched for a free seat
and recognized some of his class and sat with them. Actually he wanted to
speak to Ben but he was nowhere to be seen, so he sighingly dived into his
soup.

   "Why did you break up your studies?" Nicholas looked into the face of a
sturdy, short lad with curious pale green eyes.

   "Family problems. But they are solved now."

Unsatisfied with the answer the young man persisted. "I saw you in the news
paper."

Nicholas choked, the soup going the wrong way and suppressed a cough.

   "News paper?" he managed to say then.

   "Yeah, together with Weidenbruch. The next day the press commented, that
there was a fire the following night."

   "Yes!" a girl joined in. "You were standing in front of your painting, some
yellow-haired lad. Was it burnt?"

   "No. It was sold and we had taken it into another hall with the other sold
ones."

Nicholas felt slighgly uncomfortably.

   "Everybody know's that Weidenbruch is a fairy." The pale green eyes were
staring at him.

   "Oh yes." said Nicholas.

   "By the way, my name is Karl-Heinz but everybody calls me Kalle."

Suddenly he smiled and stretched out his stout hand across the table. Nicholas
grabbed and squeezed it.

   "Welcome to the club."

   "Which club?" another voice piped up, "the fairy-club?"

Kalle shot a sinister look to the end of the table where a large, thin young
man with very thin brown hair was sitting.

   "Shut up, stupid. Everybody knows that you are only here because your old
man is supporting the Academy." He turned again to Nicholas. "His uncle works
in the ministry for culture." Kalle winked at Nicholas. "His name is
Walter-Udo," he whispered "but he prefers us to call him 'Walt' because he's
mad about Walt Disney films."

Nicholas grinned. In the doorway he saw Ben entering the canteen and he tried
to attract his attention. Ben saw him and came over to the table.

   "Another one of the fairies", Nicholas heard 'Walt' muttering under his
breath but decided to ignore it. But his heartbeat quickened. So his intuition
had been right and he sighed inwardly.

   "Hey, Benny, got some more of those private lessons from Frank?" Walt
shouted.

   "I told you already to shut up you homophobic asshole" Kalle shouted back.
But Ben smiled. "It's ok, Kalle. I can stand up for myself. Just ignore it."

He gave a glance at Nicholas and said in a low voice "I saw you with Marcus
Weidenbruch. You're on our side?"

Nicholas nodded and Ben's face lit up. "Great. Now I'm not alone any more."
With his head he gestured at Walt sitting there and seeming to rule the whole
table. "He's like a sponger, a drone, only because his uncle provides his
place although he can paint like a mole."

   "And Frank? How he can tolerate this?"

Ben shrugged his shoulders. "The Academy gets extra money from the Ministry
of Culture because his uncle is rather a big shot there."

   "Yeah, Kalle told me that. But does it make sense?"

   "Not at all. Have seen his paintings? Terrible!"

Ben was slurping his soup.

   "Sorry about the girlfriend this morning," Nicholas said after a while.

Ben smiled a very heart-warming smile. "It's ok.  But tell me, what's this
Marcus Weidenbruch like in private? Um, I'm just curious, you don't have to
tell me."

   "All right, Ben. What do you want to hear?"

Ben grinned. "Anything you want to give away."

Nicholas looked around and whispered, "'I'm his newest conquest' to quote
the yellow press."

Ben laughed and spilled some soup onto the table. "Congratulations! He's a
very handsome man."

   "He is, indeed." Nicholas eyes sparkled. "May I also ask you a question?"

   "Please, do."

   "Are you Frank's newest conquest?"

Ben gave him an amazed look. "How do you know?"

   "I have eyes to see."

   "Ah, well, I don't know."

   "But you know that Frank is gay."

   "Yes. It's well-known."

Nicholas was relieved to a certain extend. It meant that nothing had happened
between them. For now. But then, maybe the incident with Nick could have been
a slip in Frank's behaviour because he was very keen on himself - Nick - and
it didn't have to happen twice. Nicholas shook his head. Rubbish. Look into
Frank's eyes and see his nasty grin there you have the answer. It was not a
slip. But how could he prevent Ben having the same experience?





Shortly before 2 pm he and his colleagues left the Academy and Nicholas
looked forward to the following day. He certainly liked Ben and Kalle and
hoped he could make some new friends. Then he saw the familiar sight of
Marcus' Mercedes waiting at the curb, went straight to it and slipped inside.
Marcus had dropped off to sleep and for a brief moment Nick marvelled at his
relaxed face. Then he gave him a light kiss at his cheek and Marcus opened his
eyes.

   "Hi lover. So the night was that bad?"

Marcus smiled. "Seemed so. But nothing to do with you." He pulled him closer
and kissed his lips. "How was your day?"

   "Good. I told you I met a guy named Ben."

   "Yes?"

Marcus started the motor.

   "He's gay too."

   "Ah! The guy with the not very blue eyes, you told me about. And? Have you
fallen in love with him right from the start?"

Nicholas poked him into his rips. "Monster. I rather fear that he has fallen
in love with Frank."

Marcus raised his eyebrows. "That's a problem indeed. And what are you going
to do? Tell him what a shithead Frank is?"

   "I have no clue what to do."

   "It's not your problem, honey. He must figure it out for himself. All
advise from you would be  useless and unwelcome, believe me."

   "But I can't just stand aside and watch him running into his own mishap."

Marcus sighed. "Oh, man. You aren't Mother Theresa. Watch him and if it gets
too intense you can take steps. Ok?"

   "He has already been at his flat."

   "Has he? One more reason to watch out."



They arrived at the work shop and a few minutes later, Nicholas was greeting
Johannes again. He seemed to be genuinely pleased to see him.

   "Look what we have done, Nick." He pointed to the marble bust of Trajan.
"I gathered together every little splinter from the ground I could find.
Some pieces are missing, but I can repair it with gypsum."

Nicholas was amazed. The bust looked like a new one. "Now he's repaired twice,
I only can hope this time it was the last." His eyes were laughing behind the
round glasses he had shoved to the tip of his nose.

   "You are a magician, Johannes! But the bronze sculptures are lost, aren't
they?"

   "Yes. Unfortunately. But there are still the moulds and can be found again."

Nicholas nodded. "And what's this?"

   "This", Marcus said mysteriously, "is the most precious thing we have ever
had here. It came this morning from Venice. Sort of a late Christmas present
from Sebastian. He finally managed to get it."

Nicholas looked at another marble bust which showed the face of a young man.
An almost perfect, young face with a long, straight nose and vulnerable,
somewhat empty facial expression. And with a pair of lips, Nicholas would
gladly kiss. Very cautiously he stretched out a finger and touched gently the
cool surface of cheeks, lips and nose, along the small chin and back.

   "It's a young Augustus."

   "THE Augustus?"

Marcus nodded. "It was thought for a long, long time as antique, but then
it was identified as a work from Antonio Canova's workshop. The Correr Museum
in Venice wanted to sell it by auction and Sebastian got it. At the highest
price. He didn't tell me and I was very happy about the surprise." His eyes
sparkled and infected Nicholas' as well as Johannes'.

   "But why is it here? It's perfect and doesn't need any repairs surely?"

   "No, it's perfect. We'll take it home with us."

Nicholas marvelled again at the fine and delicate feature of the bust.

   "Do you think this is really Augustus?"

   "It could be easily," Johannes said. "All sculptures of the emperor have
a strong similarity to this bust. All with the same vulnerability expression on
a small face. And that this isn't an original doesn't lessen it's beauty.
After all it could be an original by Canova."

   "In the 18th century a forger made a marble head of Julius Caesar," Marcus
said, "who was bought by the British Museum in London in 1818. They believed
it was genuine."

   "Indeed?" Nicholas remembered the spider brooch of Marie-Antoinette.

   "Oh, before I forget it," Johannes said, "Sebastian called and asked me to
tell you that he's out again tonight. He said you'd know what he meant."

Marcus nodded. "Thanks. Now, honey. Get us out of here. I'm hungry."

But Nicholas was standing absorbed in front of Michelangelo's drawing of the
young men or young women. Who knew exactly? The only thing he would ever
know was that this face was the most wonderful he would ever see. Marcus
stepped to him and clasped his hand. "You love it, don't you?"

Nicholas nodded.

   "Want to take it home?"

   "No, no. Others want to have a look at it too, I guess." He smiled at
Johannes and he winked.



   "Now, let's see what good old Anna has cooked for us." Marcus opened the
fridge and pulled out a casserole and a pot. As he opened it Nicholas turned
up his nose. "Cabbage-rolls! I hate them and she knows it."

Marcus lifted the sheet laying on the table and read

   "Mr. Sebastian called. The potatoes are already peeled and need to be
cooked. Twenty minutes on a low flame. Then pour out the water and set the
pot again on the gas to get rid of the water. Love, Anna."

Marcus moaned. "How many times has she told me this!" He looked at Nicholas.
"How old I am actually? Ten?"

He screwed up the sheet and threw it into the trash bin. Nicholas laughed.
"Do you really want to eat that? I have a better idea. We'll make fried
potatoes and some Prague sausages."

   "Prague sausages? What's that?"

Nicholas pulled out Frankfurter's, parted them and cut them with a knife
crosswise at the ends. Then he put them into a hot pan. "You'll see soon. In
the meantime you can cut the potatoes in slices."

   "Aye, chef." Marcus was amused how Nicholas had changed since their first
meeting. It was only a short time when he thought about it, but it was
amazing. Instead of cutting the potatoes he embraced Nicholas tightly from
behind. "You really are a darling", he whispered.

   "Can you say that again?" Nicholas struggled free and turned.

Marcus grinned. "Watch out for the sausages."

   "I would rather watch a different sausage."

Marcus burst out in laughter. "Later, honey. Otherwise I'll collapse off the
stool with hunger. Hey, look."

The sausages had opened like a rose at the carved ends.

   "Looks good."

   "True. Now get your hands busy if you want to have some fried potatoes."


                                  ~~~


   "If we want to go to the club we'll have to hurry, baby." Kay panted
between little yelps.

He stood in front of Sebastian who was sitting in a chair and licked the last
remains of white cum from his lips.

   "That late already?" He tenderly kneaded Kay's ass cheeks.

   "Again such a attack while I'm dressing and I'm worn out."

   "Worn out?" Sebastian ask smiling. "Which of us is the younger boy, eh?"

   "But I never had so much sex as with you." Kay pulled his pants up and
kissed Sebastian's lips. "You are insatiable, my dear."

   "You must be the reason sweetie."

   "Ah, big compliment! Now come on. Let us go."


This night they had chosen the 'Nightfactory', a club which opened at 11 pm
and didn't close until dawn. Sebastian couldn't exactly say that he liked to
be with all these young things dancing around in mindless ecstasy, but at
least it was a gay club and he could let wander his eyes as he always did, no
matter who was his company.

Soon he noticed some nice looking guys who already pulled off their sweaty
shirts.

   "Hey," Kay shouted, "you see them?" He pointed at the same young men,
Sebastian had already stared at.

After a while one of them came to the bar and ordered a beer. Sebastian could
feel and smell the sweating body near to him. But Kay was faster. He pulled out
the copy of Simon's picture and held it under the young lad's nose.

   "Seen that boy?"

   "Huh?" The sweating guy looked at the picture. "Yes. Simon. Often here."
He turned to look at the dance floor. "But hasn't show up yet. It's too early
for him." He had a pleasant voice and his eyes sparkled with joy.

   "Looking for some stuff?" he asked then.

   "What stuff?" Sebastian asked.

The young man wiped a damp curl from his forehead.

   "Cocain, ecstasy, anything you want." He looked Sebastian up and down and
smiled at him. "Wanna dance?"

   "Why not?"

And soon they disappeared onto the overcrowded dance floor. Kay sighed and
turned to the barman. The music was more likeable as at the 'Moonbreaker' he
found. They were playing some German hits from the eighties and the whole
crowd sang along with them.

Kay grinned at the barman. He was a tall black guy with short, tiny curls
and long, almond eyes.

   "Want a drink?"

   "Sure."

   "Something special?" He spoke perfect German and Kay knew he must have been
born here. He nodded his head.

   "Anything you want."

The black guy mixed him a Cuba Libre and put it in front of him. The ice
cubes clinked pleasingly in the tall glass as Kay lifted it.

   "This club is going well?" he asked then. "I work occasionally at the
'Moonbreaker'."

The guy frowned. "'Moonbreaker'? Isn't a gay club."

   "Yeah. And not as half as nice as here, I'm afraid."

   "My name is Alfred." said the keeper.

   "Alfred?" Kay had to laugh. "How do you get a name like that?"

   "My parents are from Namibia and they still speak German."

Kay's face was a question mark but vaguely he could remember that Namibia used
to be a German colony before the war.

   "Nice name, Alfred. I'm Kay." Again he pulled out Simon's picture and
showed it to Alfred.

   "Simon. One of his favourite hang-outs."

   "When was the last time he was here?"

Alfred thought a moment. "I guess Sunday. He sells stuff furtively. Everybody
know it."

   "Stuff. Great. And he lookes the same?"

   "Yes. A bit more skinny I'd say, but still good. Why do you ask?"

Kay shrugged his shoulder. "I'm looking for him."

   "With that hot man you came in with?"

   "Yes. With that hot man who's disappeared somewhere on the dance floor."
... and probably fucking around in the toilet, he finished the sentence in his
mind.

The fast beat of the music changed abruptly into a soft one and Kay felt
himself grabbed from behind and dragged onto the floor.

   "Hey sweetie," Sebastian said, "stop flirting with that beautiful black
guy. I'm still here." He pulled him into a tight embrace and ground his lower
body into Kay's abdomen and groin. Kay could feel his hard erection through the
fabric of his trousers and he began to giggle. "Must have been an exciting guy
you danced with."

   "Sure he was. Like you."

The light was dim enough for Kay to let his hand slip between their bodies
and to jerk off Sebastian slowly. The moans would be swallowed by the music
and Kay was sure that other pairs were doing the same. With a loud gasp
Sebastian froze and came into his pants, spraying his semen all over Kay's
hand. He wiped it on Sebastian's pants and licked off the remainder.

   "Simon deals with drugs, Bastian. Have you heard it?"

   "Yeah, I've heard it." His breath was still a bit irregular. "He had no
money, perhaps that was the only thing he could do."

   "But that's shit!"

   "Ah, joined a moral crusade all of a sudden? More important is to find
him, baby." He ran his fingers through Kay's hair.

   "Your hair is getting slowly back to its origin colour, have you noticed?"

   "I've noticed. Do you like it?"

   "Of course."

			
Time was trickling away but by the time the club closed Simon still hadn't
show up. Sebastian was more than tired as they reeled out of darkness of the
club's into the morning light. Fog had spread all over the city and it was
cold and damp. Sebastian shivered, not just from the coolness but rather for
the lack of sleep. He yawned as they slipped into his car and drove home.
Kay had fallen asleep on his shoulder as they arrived at his flat and he shook
him gently. "You're lucky you have to go late to work this week," he said, as
he unlocked the door to his flat.

Without any words they undressed, slipped together under the covers and fell
asleep, until Kay awoke hours later with a jolt and looked at the watch.  He
noticed he still had some more time before he had to go to work he fell back
into the pillows. With open eyes he lay there, heard Sebastian's steady breath
and felt sheltered.

His eyes wandered around in the large room with the spacious bed and most
erotic pictures at the grey-lilac wallpaper. The floor was covered with a
scarlet coloured carpet. It had a gloomy effect at the first sight, but Kay
found, it was exactly the colours within which Sebastian's mysterious passion
lived. It was like a dark grotto in which they could make love for hours
between the blue silky pillows.

He turned on his side and looked at his new-found lover. Slowly he began an
examination of his body with his fingertips, outlining the heaving chest,
along his stomach, belly and into the curly hairs of his pubic area.
Cautiously he played with the flaccid cock and felt Sebastian stirring a bit.
A fleeting smile appeared on Kay's face. He wasn't sure if Sebastian intended
to stay with him or if he was just a short intermezzo in a life which was
apparently full of passing sex encounters without any depth.  Like his own he
realized. But he felt this could be more than an encounter and he wished
desperately Sebastian would feel the same about him.

Nicholas' small, open face appeared before his inner eye. There was certainly
something going on between the young man and Sebastian he couldn't fathom. It
was a tension he felt whenever he saw both together. He remembered briefly the
night he had followed Sebastian and Nick to Marcus' house. The night of the
car accident when Sebastian had opened the door naked under the robe and he
couldn't get rid of the feeling that something had happened more than
Sebastian would admit.

Still he played with the soft cock, traced his forefinger along it and felt a
little jerk in it. Kay wasn't ready to give up his lover easily. He would
fight for him, and he was all but convinced, that he could hold Sebastian.

He bent over the sleeping face and lightly kissed one of his closed eyes. Then
he slipped silently out of the warm bed and went into the bathroom.

After a long, hot shower he went to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee. Then
he took the telephone and dialled Marcus' number, but nobody answered the
phone. Slowly he went with his mug into the livingroom and sat in one of the
old-fashioned, heavy armchairs. His eyes looked around and for the first time
he had a closer look at the furniture and all the precious things gathered
here.

There was a little metal tree from whose branches hung fifteen different
coloured gems. It looked beautiful but Kay hadn't any clue what it was used
for. On a sideboard was gathered a collection of soup bowls, some were made
from silver with relief depictions and beside them were arranged some snuff
boxes - little oval enamelled things decorated with coloured stones, painted
with landscapes or portraits.

Just as Kay decided it was time to go he heard Sebastian coming from the
bedroom and called his name.

   "Here, lover. Living room," Kay shouted.

Sebastian appeared fully dressed, shaved, combed and with a relieved grin on
his face. "I thought you'd gone already."

He stepped closer to him. "The next time you want to get up, wake me before.
I'd like to have a little farewell present from you." He bent over Kay and
gave him a resounding kiss on the lips. "If you would stop going to that
boring shop you could stay with me, sweetie", he said in a low voice.

   "But I like to work, Bastian. I can't sit here and count the flies on the
wall."

   "Who says you should count the flies? You could do more exciting things
with me ... for instance."

Kay frowned a bit. "You have no other exciting things in your mind?"

   "What do you mean?"

   "You could tell me for instance about all the funny things you have
collected in this room. I like to listen to long stories."

Sebastian gave him a surprised look. "Do you?" He knelt down beside the
armchair Kay was sitting in. "So where shall I start?"

   "I haven't any time to listen, lover. I must go now." He stood up. "Want to
pick me up at 7:30 pm?"

   "Of course. Have you something in mind afterwards?"

Kay shook his head. "I've have enough for now. Can we go into the next club at
the weekend? I guess I need a little rest."

Sebastian nodded. "As you like, Kay. Now, go. I'll count the hours until..."
He grinned at him.



After Kay had gone to work he made himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the
kitchen table. What had happened with the young man all of a sudden? Since
when did he want to talk instead of have sex? Sebastian narrowed his eyes and
listened to his inward voice. Probably he was now too old to keep hopping from
one bed to another and it was time to settle down. Almost thirty years of
different love-affairs had made him somewhat tired. Tired of the shallowness...
Superficiality was the only thing he ever got from other men, except from
Marcus of course. It seemed him that his oldest friend was his oldest love too
and sometimes he yearned for his arms, for his warmth, for his understanding.
Could Kay ever be the same for him? Or Nicholas? Were they too young to give
him what he needed? But what exactly was it that he needed? Sebastian wiped
his face. Somehow everything was useless. He led a useless life between a big
amount of 'precious things' as Kay once had described them but then? Kay at
least enjoyed his work as sales clerk, meeting different people, being there
for them.

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't exactly sitting on his arse
and letting the sun roast his belly. He too had a job, but the people he was
with were mostly decadent, snobbish and as useless as himself. Was this the
reason he was so fond of Nick who seemed to come from a complete different
world?

He rose and rinsed his mug. He decided to clear his mind, do some groucery
shopping and to prepare something wonderful to eat when Kay came back
from work. But first he had to call Marcus of course.




In the meantime Nicholas sat with Ben in a little cafe across the street from
the Academy. They had finished their lessons for today and were enjoying the
warmth of the afternoon. The fog had vanished and the sun enveloped the city
with a soft spring glow. They sat by the big street windows, watching the
people going by and slurping their tea.

   "Did you make a lot of money with your paintings at the last exhibition?"
Ben asked.

   "Well, yes. For me it was a lot of money. For Marcus only peanuts I
guess. You know, there were some strange people. Very funny. But from them
I got the money."

   "What strange people?" Ben asked.

   "Well, strange ... I can't describe it clearly. You must have seen them.
Complete different from us." He looked at Ben's hazel eyes. "Do you have
brothers or sisters?" he asked.

   "Yes, one of each."

   "And your parents?"

   "I live with my mother. They are divorced."

   "Oh, I'm sorry about this. How long ago?"

   "Nine years now."

Nicholas raised his eyebrows. "Then your mother had a hard job, right?"

   "Yes." Ben sighed.

   "And she knows that you love men?"

Ben nodded. "She can accept it."

   "Good for you."

Ben peered into Nicholas' face. "And yours?"

   "Well, mother yes, but my father is rather... can't accept."

   "I see. Have you broken with him?"

   "I don't know. Not really. I have to talk to him."

   "Yes. You must. Does he know Marcus Weidenbruch?"

   "He called on him lately. But it was an unhappy encounter."

Ben looked down at his tea cup. "How did you two meet actually?" Ben asked
then. "I mean, Marcus is a man who is somewhat out of reach for someone like
us." He looked up again. "Do you understand what I mean?"

   "But yes." Nicholas grinned. "He picked me up from the street."

   "Did he indeed?" Ben was surprised.

   "Not what you think. I was a pavement artist some month ago. I left
the Academy and worked as a sales clerk at a shopping centre but in my spare
time I painted in the streets."

   "But that's wasted talent, Nick!"

Nicholas snorted, "That's what he said too! And it was raining and he took me
to the nearest cafe. So it started."

   "Lucky man." Ben sounded suddenly depressed and Nicholas put his hand above
Ben's.

   "Sad? You haven't found anybody yet?"

   "No."

   "But you ... you made it, yes?"

   "Yes. But nothing serious. I wished I could get to know somebody like
Marcus.  Someone who'll take care of me." Ben took off his glasses and put them
down on the table. Now his face looked very vulnerable and Nicholas felt sad
for him. And now he's falling in love with that shit Frank, he thought. But
could he tell him this?

But Ben looked into his face again and all sadness seemed to vanish. "You
must be thinking I'm a total wimp, don't you?" He smiled. "I've met some great
guys but couldn't held on. Perhaps I'm looking for something different. A
strong man who can take control over me."

   "Control over you. I see." Maybe then Frank was exactly what Ben needed he
thought, and all worries were in vain. He remembered Marcus' words, that
all advise would be unnecessary and unwelcome and decided he was right. He
looked at his watch and peered out of the window to the other side of the
street. He saw Marcus' car pulling up.

   "Marcus is here to pick me up. Want to come and meet him?"

   "Gladly."

They paid and left the little cafe.

Marcus had just got out of the car as both men arrived. He smiled at them.

   "This is Ben," Nicholas introduced him and Marcus stretched out his hand.

   "Hi, Ben. I've heard a lot about you."

Ben's ears began to glow. "Indeed? What terrible things he has told you about
me?" he grinned.

   "All good, Ben. Can we give you a lift somewhere?"

Ben shook his head. "No, no, it's not necessary. It's been a pleasure for me,
Mr. Weidenbruch." And to Nicholas, "See you tomorrow, Nick. Have fun. Bye."

He waved briefly and walked slowly away.

Marcus watched him go. "He's a nice lad, honey, you are right." He turned to
Nicholas. "Try not to fall in love with him, promised?"

Nicholas laughed. "I promise."


To be continued