Date: Thu, 1 Aug 2013 16:02:19 -0500
From: Ed Louis <Elouis1915@yahoo.com>
Subject: The medical Assistant 9

This story contains sexual behavior between consenting adult males.  The
characters are the creation of the author and are not real.  In parts of
the story, unprotected sexual contact sometimes happens, however, this
author advises everyone to practice safe sex in real life, always!



We drove over to Jere's friend's house to pick up his truck. Jere spoke to
his friend a bit, then we headed over to Steph's place.  As per John's
suggestion, I called the sheriff's office and ask that a patrol car meet us
there, just in case Steph tried to renege on her promise and as a witness
that Jere did nothing out of line that she might accuse him of later.

When we got there, she met us at the door and snarled at Jere, "Are these
your fag boyfriends?"  Jere calmly told her who we were and we were there
just to help him move.  "What the fuck is the sheriff doing here?" she
yelled.  I spoke up and told her that he was here to make sure nothing went
wrong, that we just wanted to get Jere's things and move them to his place.
His place for the moment was going to be a rental storage locker, but she
did not need to know that.  With that she let us in.

She and Jere discussed what he could and could not take.  Jere was
satisfied with what she said, and we began loading his truck.  It took a
couple of hours and his truck was overflowing.  Steph mostly stayed out of
the way until we were loading the last items.  She angrily said, "Well,
that is it, you pervert."  "Which one of you is gonna get it in the ass
tonight?"  "I hope you can take that monster, no decent woman could or
would ever take it."  "It's gross!"  I was just about to unload on her,
when Matt grabbed my shoulder and said quietly to me, "Just ignore her."
We turned to walk away, all the while she was screaming obscenities at us.
The sheriff's deputy told her to quiet down, else he would have to arrest
her.  She turned and walked back inside.  The deputy said under his breath,
"What a bitch!"  We thanked him and we all drove away.

Matt had suggested we put Jere's things in his 3 car garage until he
decided where he was going to live.  There was plenty of room and no need
for Jere to have to pay for a storage unit.  Jere was hesitant, but Matt
and I encouraged him to do so.  We drove up to Matt's house which is in a
very upscale neighborhood.  Matt opened the garage and told Jere to pull
his truck in.  If he was going to be at my condo until he found a place,
there was really no need to unload the truck.  We went inside.  I had told
Jere what to expect, so he was not surprised at the mess the house was in.
He looked around, asked where the vacuum and the cleaning products were.
He assigned each of us a chore and said he would take the kitchen.

After an hour of cleaning, mopping and dusting, we took a break.  Jere came
out of the kitchen with iced tea and some cookies.  He said he had cleaned
the fridge and looked in the freezer for something to cook for dinner.  He
found some steak and lobster and decided he would make kabobs to grill.
What he needed to go with the meal were some fresh vegetables like
zucchini, onions, yellow squash, potatoes, tomatoes and some greens for a
salad.  Matt and I said we would run to the market up the road to get what
he needed.  I wanted to get some wine, but decided against it, since Jere
didn't drink and Matt was in his 5th day of sobriety.

When we returned Jere told Matt, "This kitchen is a cook's dream?you have
everything."  Mattt beamed with pride and said, "I told you so."  I like to
cook, too and designed this myself."  "Well, you did a great job, I
especially like the professional appliances and this indoor grill is the
bomb." Jere exclaimed.  "I could really be creative in here."  Matt told
him that he could anytime he wanted.  "In fact, we can alternate between
the condo and here, I have 5 bedrooms and 4 baths."  We could be very
comfortable here, not that your place isn't, Adam." he said.  I could see
the wheels turning in Matt's head and suggested we needed to stay where we
were for a while until Jere decided where he was going to live and Matt was
ok with being alone again.

The dinner was lovely, even without wine, which I would have preferred over
iced tea.  While we were sitting at the table, I mentioned that I needed to
go out to my house and check on things.  I was not at all looking forward
to it, but I needed to start going through Dani's things, decide on what I
was going to keep and get the house ready for sale.  Matt asked, "Do you
really think that is wise, Adam?"  "Yes, I need to do just that."  "There
are too many memories in that house."  "Dani designed and decorated it and
living there would be a constant reminder of my loss."  I said, and with
that I began to cry.  Both Matt and Jere rushed to me, hugged me and kissed
me.  No words were spoken and I felt very loved in the arms of these two
men.

After I gained my composure, I said, "Tomorrow is Sunday, so let's get up,
have breakfast and drive out to the house."  "I need my friends with me."
They both replied "Of course, we are here for you, Adam."  Matt suggested
we stay the night at his house.  We could use the hot tub, and cuddle
around the fireplace if we got chilly.  I was unsure this was a good idea,
but in my mind, I said, "What the heck!"  "It might be fun" So, I said,
"Ok."

Matt turned on the hot tub, checked the water, etc.  In about 2 hours
everything was ready and the three of us got in.  The hot water and
pulsating jets hitting all the right spots felt good.  Jere and Matt were
talking up a blue streak.  I was not in the mood to talk, my mind being on
Dani and having to go to the house tomorrow to start the process of
disposing of some things.  Matt asked me what was wrong.  I told him, I had
a lot on my mind and really thought I needed to be alone.  The two of them
protested and tried to engage me in conversation.

Finally, I got out of the hot tub, dried off and went into the house.  Jere
followed me, grabbed my arm and said, "Adam, what is wrong?"  "Nothing" I
replied, "Just missing Dani and need some space, Jere."  He looked hurt,
and I told him, it was one of my down times; I would be ok.  "Go back to
the tub and enjoy yourself."  "I am going to get dressed and take a walk."
"I will be ok."  He said he would go with me, but I asked him to let me be
alone for a while to work through some things.

Jere went back to the patio and got in the hot tub.  He and Matt were
talking, looking at me, then Matt got out and was walking my way.  I put up
my hand for him to stop and shook my head.  "I'll be ok, Matt, just need
some time by myself."  I quickly dressed and headed out the front door.  It
was brisk out, my kind of weather.  I knew walking would clear my head
somewhat and I could plan what I wanted to do tomorrow.  However, most of
my thought were centered on the events of this past week.

As I walked, I talked to Dani.  "My sweet angel, I miss you so much."  "I
hope you are watching over me and hearing what I am saying," "I need your
help."  "What the hell am I doing, Dani?"  "You are gone only a short time
and here I am screwing around, not with one man, but two!"  "I think I am
caught up in a whirlpool and don't know how to get out."  "Jere makes me
happy and I really am starting to like Matt, too."  "But, realistically,
this is not going to work."  "I don't know if I am ready to commit to
anyone."  "Oh, Goddamn it!"  "Our life together was so perfect, well, as
close to perfect as it could get."  "I am so fucking mad at God, at the
cancer, everything and everybody."  At this point I started to cry.

Even though I didn't have on the proper shoes, I started to run.  I wanted
to scream, but didn't.  I just kept running and crying.  I am sure Matt's
neighbors thought there was a crazy man running down the street.  I stopped
running and sat on a grassy knoll with my head in my hands.  I noticed a
young person riding a bicycle coming towards me.  As the bike approached
me, I heard my name called out, "Dr. David, is that you?"  I looked up and
recognized Macklin, one of my patients.  "Yes, Mack." I said, "it is me."
He got off his bike, walked over, sat down beside me and asked if I was ok.

"Yes, Mack, I am ok."  "Just having one of my melt downs."  "Thanks for
asking."  "What are you doing in my neighborhood?" he asked.  "You don't
live here, do you?"  "No, I am visiting Dr. Manet, and decided to get out
and get some fresh air." I said.  He asked if he could help in any way, he
could see I was upset.  I told him I was ok and I appreciated his concern.

"Well, I find it is better to talk about things, rather that let them build
up inside." he said.  "If you don't want to talk about your problems, well
then, let's just talk, ok?"  I was amazed the wisdom coming from this 14
year old's mouth.  "Let me tell you what I have been up to."

He told me things around home had gotten better, his mother was not on his
case all the time.  She knocks and asks for permission to come into his
room now.  "Thank you for telling her to do that, Dr. David, she told me
she had a talk with you and you told her I was a normal 14 year old?now
15."  I replied, "I am glad I helped and by the way, when was your
birthday?"  "Today!"  he said.  "Well, Happy Birthday, Mack."  "What are
you doing to do to celebrate?"  I asked.

"I already have sorta celebrated, I, hmm, this is top secret, ok?" he
stated frankly.  "OK, mums the word." I said, smiling to myself.  "I got a
blow job and I sucked my first dick today!" he said excitedly.  I could not
believe he was telling me this.  "You remember that guy I told you about?"
"Well, I was at his house today, his parents were not home and we did it."
"It seemed weird at first, but I kinda liked it?I don't think I am gay or
anything, but it did feel good to have my dick sucked."

I asked him how he felt about sucking dick.  He told me it was not as bad
as he thought it would be.  He didn't swallow the guy's cum or anything
like that, but he did lick some off his fingers.  "Robbie wants me to fuck
him next time." he stated.  "I don't think I want to be fucked, however."
I immediately went into my doctor/patient mode and advised, "Remember what
I told you about using condoms."  He told me he would.

Then he said he was keeping his dick clean and always retracted his
foreskin when he pissed.  "Robbie is different from me, he doesn't have
foreskin and he isn't as big as me." he said proudly.  I told him that
Robbie had been circumcised, probably as an infant.  "I don't know why
anyone would do that to a kid, I love my dick just the way it is."  he
said.  I didn't really know what to say, so I kept quiet.

He said he guessed he should get going before his mother got worried about
him.  "Are you sure you are ok, Dr David?"  I told him I was and I really
appreciated him talking to me and getting me out of my sad mood.  "You are
so easy to talk to, Dr. David."  He got on his bike and was off.

I sat there a few minutes, then got up and headed back to Matt's house.  I
knew what I was going to do.  Feelings may be hurt, but I had to do what
was best for me.

I walked to the front door rang the bell and heard Matt yell, "It's open!"
Matt and Jere were still naked, cuddling in front of the fireplace and
motioned for me to come over and join them.  I told them I had thought
about things and needed to talk.  "I want you two to listen to me; don't
talk, just listen."  I begged.

"This week has been amazing."  "I never expected for things to play out as
they have."  "I want you both to know, I love you very much, and my
decision is not an easy one."  "As much as I enjoy our sex life, I can't
continue."  "Deep down inside, I feel really guilty about leading you on,
for leading myself on."  "I have decided to move back to the house where I
belong."  "I can not keep running away from Dani's memory, I have to face
my loss and find away to recover gracefully."

"It is grossly unfair to you Jere and to you Matt, to keep you hanging on,
waiting for me to decide what I want."  "Jere, my lease on the condo is
paid for a year and you are welcome to stay there, free of charge, for as
long as you want or until you find a place."  "Matt, I will continue to
support you and help you in anyway I can."  "But as of now, the sex is over
for me."

I paused, waiting for an argument, but they were both so shocked, no words
came out.  Finally, Jere said, "Fuck you, Adam."  "You are running away
from me because you are afraid of getting hurt."  "I told you I love you,
and I do."  "You love me, too but you don't want to admit it." He
continued, "I think you are not liking that I enjoy fucking and sucking
Matt, but that is just sex."  "Matt knows that, he knows I love you."

"That's true, Adam." Matt injected, "I am just having fun, being free to do
what I want, with two people I truly love and trust."  "I need you both in
my life."  "The sex is a wonderful bonus."

"Hold on."  I yelled.  "You are not listening to me."  "I am not running
away!"  "I just need to step back, first deal with my wife's death, which I
admit i have been running from."  "Secondly, I need to decide what
direction I want my life to take."  "Right now, I am so fucking confused, I
don't know what I want and to pretend I do is totally unfair to you, Jere."
"I know you love me and I probably I love you, but am I ready to commit to
you, no I am not."  "If you can not understand that, then maybe you do not
love me like you think you do."

Stunned silence!  With nothing else to say, I turned around and headed to
the garage.  Matt ran after me, "Wait Adam, don't leave."  I didn't say
anything, just kept walking to my car. "Adam!"  "God damn it, you
bullheaded mother fucker." "Please don't do this!"  I hit the garage
opener, got into my car and started to back out.  Tears were flowing down
my face as I pulled out into the street and headed to my house.  I needed
to feel Dani's presence right now.

The closer I got to my house, the calmer I felt.  Dani always had the
ability to make me feel stronger, more confident and sure of myself.  As I
pulled into the gated community, I started to shake with nerves.  I had not
been in the house for 4 months.  All of a sudden, there it was, my big
beautiful home that I shared so many years with the one love in my life.  I
pulled into the garage, sat there for a few minutes, almost unable to
breathe.  The I heard a voice in my head that said, "Come inside, Adam."  I
opened the door to the mud room and went in.

I slowly walked into the kitchen, then into the family room.  I went over
to the fireplace, flipped on the gas logs and sat on the sofa, starring at
at the fire.  I felt so warm and cozy, but so, so sad.  After a few minutes
of self pity and tears, I got up and walked through each room on the first
floor, touching all the little trinkets Dani was so fond of.  My
housekeeper, Carole, does a good job of keeping the house clean and neat.
I halfway expected Dani to come down the stairs and give me a hug and kiss
as she had always done.

My tour of the house continued, climbing up the stairs, looking into each
room, pausing at the door to our bedroom.  I stood there, my chest heaving
and gasping for air, a full blown panic attack.  I fell to my knees
screaming, "Dani!" "Dani!'  "Where are you/" "I need you so badly."  "Speak
to me, please."  I wanted to feel her touch, I wanted to put my arms around
her, kiss her and tell her how much I loved her.  I don't know how long I
remained on the floor.  I calmed down somewhat, got up off the floor, went
to master bath, turned on the jacuzzi, stripped off my clothes and got in.

I lay there feeling the refreshing water flowing over my body. It all
seemed so natural to me and I began to relax.  My thoughts turned from Dani
to Jere and Matt.  I was drowning in a sea of self doubt and I had to run
away.  I needed to be alone, to be in familiar surroundings, to face my
personal issues and not to be influenced by my feelings for Jere and now,
for Matt.  How did I let this all happen?  Was this an escape from my
sadness?  I know I am depressed.  I know I need help, but I am not a pill
person and I am afraid that might be recommended.  I think I may just call
my friend, Bjorn, a psychologist, to set up a few secessions to talk things
out.

I had been in the tub a long time and I was beginning to look like a prune.
I got out, dried off, reached into the vanity drawer for some of the great
body lotion Dani had bought me and began to rub it vigorously over my
entire body. After I brushed my teeth, I stared at the man looking back at
me in the mirror, not really knowing who he was.  Shrugging my shoulders, I
left the bathroom and went to the bed I had shared with Dani.  I stood
there a minute, took a deep breath, pulled back the covers and got in.

I remembered I had left the gas logs on in the fireplace.  I got up, went
downstairs to turn them off.  My cell phone was ringing, I ignored it, but
did look to see there were several missed calls, voicemails and texts, all
from Matt.  I left the phone on the table and went back upstairs to the
bed.  I grabbed one of Dani's pillows, hugged it to my body and fell fast
asleep.  I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

The next morning I lay in the bed, starring at the ceiling, wondering what
I was going to do.  Truthfully, I missed Jere.  Why was I so conflicted
about my feelings?  I looked over to Dani's side of the bed, not expecting
to see her, but there she was, smiling at me.  I rubbed my eyes thinking
she would disappear, but she didn't.  I heard her voice ask me, "My love,
why are you doing this to yourself?"  "You promised me you would be happy
and live a full life."

I cried out, "But I want you, I need you!"  "Sweetheart, you know that is
not possible."  I heard her say.  "You are feeling guilty about trying to
move on, but you shouldn't."  "You have found a someone who truly loves
you, don't screw this up."  "Aren't you disappointed that it is a man?" I
asked.  "What difference does that make, Adam?"  "Love is love, and I know
you love Jere."  "It's ok."  I turned away for a moment and when I turned
back over, she was gone.  I must be losing my freaking mind, I thought.

I put on a pair of shorts and went down to the kitchen.  I knew there
wouldn't be much to eat, but I could at least make a cup of coffee.  In the
freezer were some frozen rolls and a jar of strawberry freezer jam Dani had
made last summer.  I put a couple of rolls on a pie tin and set the oven to
preheat.  Next, I made coffee, which I would have to drink black, since
there was no cream in the fridge.  While the rolls were baking, I made a to
do list, which included grocery shopping.  Ding!  The rolls were ready.
The jam was delicious on the rolls, even if I didn't have butter, it was a
feast.

After gathering my courage, I called Jere's cell phone.  He did not answer,
so I left a message for him to call me.  Then I called Matt.  Matt answered
and started in on me.  I told him I deserved his wrath, that I had been a
complete shit.  I asked him if he could get Jere to talk to me.  He said he
would, but Jere left this morning to go get his things from the condo.
"What's that all about, Matt?" I asked.  "Adam, he doesn't want to live at
your place and he doesn't want to see or talk to you."

"Well, that is going to be hard to do since he works at the practice."  I
said.  "That is another thing, Adam, he is turning in his notice tomorrow."
"He is going to move in with me until he decides what he wants to do." Matt
said smugly.  "Oh, hell no!" I yelled.  "Adam, you really don't have a say
in this, you walked out on him, he was a mess, and I was there to pick up
the pieces."  "Just leave him alone." he demanded.  I was so pissed off, I
just hung up and bounded up the stairs to get my clothes on.  I did not
stop to brush my teeth, wash my face or comb my hair.  I hurried out of the
house and was on my way to the condo, hoping I would get there before Jere
left.

When I pulled into the parking garage, I saw Matt's car there.  That
infuriated me until I realized Jere had probably borrowed it since his
truck was full of his stuff retrieved from Steph's.  I took the elevator up
to my floor.  When the doors opened, Jere was standing there with a couple
of bags full of his clothing.  He tried to push by me, but I said, "No way
are you leaving until we talk."  "Funny you should say that, Adam."  "You
wanted nothing to do with me last night."  he scowled.

"Jere, I was wrong and I want to explain myself to you, please."  I
pleaded.  He told me he had nothing to say to me and I replied, "That's
ok."  "I am the one who needs to talk."  "Please come back into the condo."
Reluctantly, he agreed.  We went back into the condo.  He looked at me
sternly, not with the love I usually saw in his eyes.  I began.  "Last
night, I was so overcome with grief, guilt, you name it."  "I had to get
out of there and be by myself to think about all this."  "I went to my
house to face my memories and hoping to hear Dani tell me it was ok."

I went on to explain how sad, lonely and depressed I felt being in that
house.  "I went to our bedroom, but going inside was almost impossible; I
fell on the floor in a full blown panic attack.."  "After what seemed like
hours or crying and wailing, I finally went in, headed straight to the
master bath, turned on the jacuzzi and got in."  "I was in there for so
long, trying to find peace, but all I could think of was you."  "I knew I
had fucked up by walking out on you."  "I needed you to hold me and tell me
it was going to be alright."  "Adam, why didn't you call me?"  he asked.

"I was so ashamed of myself, for many reasons, but mainly because I knew i
had hurt you."  " I, in that state of mind, decided to wait until the
morning to call you, which I did."  "You did not answer."  "After I got my
ass reamed out by Matt, I came here, hoping to catch you."  "I wanted say
to you something I have not said before."  "Jere, I love you, I really do."
"I no longer have any doubts or fears, I love you."  "I am ready to declare
it to the world."  Jere stood there, expressionless, looking at me in
disbelief.

I started to cry as I told him, "Don't leave me, ever."  "I need you so
much."  "I am so, so sorry for being such a fool."  I told him my going to
the house alone had been a good thing and about Dani talking to me.  "Don't
think I am nuts, but she did come to me and tell me to be happy with you,
that it didn't matter that you were another man, that love is love."
"Wow!" he said.  "Jere, I want you to come to the house with me."  "I want
you to know Dani and learn what a wonderful person she was."  "I want you
to realize why I will always love her, but know that I can love you as
much."  "I promise you I will not live in the past and put you in second
place."  "You are my future."  "Do you understand that?"  I asked.

"Yes, I do understand, I always have, but avoided talking about it because
it made you sad." Jere explained.  "Adam, there is no way I would ever try
to replace Dani."  "I just want to be with you, love you and make you
happy."  "That's all I ever wanted."  "Promise me you will never shut me
out, no matter what."  I walked over to him, put my arms around him then
kissed him passionately and promised I would never do it again.  He
embraced me, kissed me and told me he loved me.  I desperately wanted him
to make love to me.  However, Jere said, "I need to call Matt, better yet,
we need to drive back to his house."

"Oh crap, what are we going to do about Matt?" I said.  "I don't want to
lead him on, I just want to help him find his own way and for him to be
happy."  "But, I do not want to share you with him."  Jere spoke up, "Adam,
you never shared me with him, it was just fucking."  "He understands that."
"And be honest, Adam, it was fun, wasn't it."  I laughed and said, "Yes it
was fun to stick it to that prick."  Jere frowned at me.  "Just kidding,
sort of."  We both laughed.  "So what are we going to do, Jere?"

He told me he thought we should go back to Matt's and let him know what was
going on.  "We need to set some ground rules, fucking is just that,
fucking."  "He can not expect anything other than that."  "We can fuck him,
he can fuck us, but you and I make love to each other."  "He has to
continue to work on his mental status, no drinking and look for a real
relationship."  "I am sure there is someone out there for him."  I was not
looking forward to more drama and I wanted to be alone with Jere, but first
things first.  "Ok, let's go!" I said.

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