Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2017 04:06:33 +0100
From: Don Sebastiano <sebastiansacerdos@gmail.com>
Subject: The Novitiate (gay male)

By Sacerdos Romanus

I was nearing the completion of my noviciate at the Abbey of Saint
Longinus. I had barely gotten through that year, that very long year, of
probation and testing in the hard disciplines of the monastic life. The
observances here were very strict and tradition, much more so than other
religious communities in the Church.

I had specifically chosen this monastery because I wanted a challenge. I
wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. After a few months of awkward
adjustment, I had been able to "get with the program" and take on all of
the outward customs, even the hard penances. In fact, I sort of enjoyed it,
and still do. But something else was happening inside. A volcano of lust
was building up inside of me.

Bear with me as I explain my sexual history up until then. As a young boy I
had always dreamed of becoming a monk. I don't know why, but I was always
struck by the romanticism of it all. And then puberty hit and I was carried
away into a maelstrom of sexuality: porn, jacking off, and even messing
around with a few close guy friends. I can remember vividly a huge, horny
session on a camping trip with my two best friends at the time. It was the
first time that I had sucked dick at all; and I was sucking off two dicks!

Those two buddies of mine went on to marry girls, but I was different. I
was a homosexual, a sodomite as the Church called me, and a faggot as some
of the kids called me. This is probably because a few times in the locker
room, in the common shower, I couldn't exactly hide the fact that I was
surrounded by a rich bounty of manhood, young, hard, healthy, budding male
bodies. On those couple of occasions, all those swinging cocks and shapely
asses got to me: I couldn't hide the raging hard-on that rose without my
permission, causing rumors to circulate that I was gay. They were right, of
course, but it made my high school years a living hell.

My freshman year in college was really the time when my nearly
uncontrollable sexuality came into full bloom. For the first time I was in
a place where I could be myself, to have sex nearly as often as I liked
with a whole array of guys, both gay and straight. There's no way I can
count how many dicks I sucked off, and how many loads I took down my throat
and in my ass, and indeed how many loads I had left inside other guys! The
thought of it makes me rock hard, even under my religious habit!

There was even a cruisy bathroom where I would go regularly for fun. It was
frequented not only by horned up students but also by pervy professors and
staff members. I began to meet at a regular time with one professor in
particular, a silver fox type, who couldn't get much head or pussy from his
own wife. He greedily began to use my two young holes to satisfy his lust,
and eventually offering up his own mouth and ass to my fat seven and a half
inch dick. He said he could not get over how "fucking hot" I was, that I
was a perfect specimen of a man, and that he had to have me for himself. I
was aware of my attractiveness but I never thought that it could drive a
man crazy like this!

By the time of my senior year this fling with the professor had become a
secret love affair, with a serious emotional component. We were lovers in
every sense of the term. When I graduated and it became safe for him to
follow his heart in a public way, he filed for divorce and began living
with me. We agreed on an open relationship; and our "extracurricular
activities" soon turned into amazingly hot group sessions, veritable feasts
of the flesh.

We lived together for a year, but our "lovers quarrels" became more and
more frequent until the relationship became damaged beyond repair. He
finally announced that he was going home to his wife, that his "phase" was
over. I suspect that his wife was "taking him to the cleaners" in the legal
proceedings and he just couldn't bear to part with so much.

This heartbreak was devastating to me. He was my first love. I felt
shattered and betrayed, and I began to take stock of my life. I began to
think back to my early years, with my love of Catholicism and specifically
my attraction to the monastic life. On a wave of religious fervor, I
decided to leave the world, and my life of wanton sexuality, at the gates
of the monastery. What awaited me there was a happiness beyond anything I
could have imagined.

And here I am today, in the seclusion of the cloister, having completed my
year of probation. By far, the hardest thing for me was "subduing the
flesh", attempting suppressing my insatiable appetite for cock. I had been
quite honest with the novice master before entering, and he said that my
sexuality was no problem as long as I could be obedient and observe the
customs.

Celibacy for me was not exactly a success. I would go for several weeks at
a time without touching myself, out of sheer will power, but lust always
gained the upper hand. After these periods of pious chastity, I would fall
into bouts of furious masturbation. I know it sounds pathetic, but I would
even steal big fat cucumbers during kitchen duty which I would greedily
shove up my ass until my intense need for cock was somewhat attended to but
never really satisfied. In the last few months, the weight I have lost from
fasting has allowed me to be flexible enough to suck my own dick; what a
relief it was to taste my own sweet seed and to spray it all over my face.

I felt guilty about all of this, and like a good monk I would bring it to
the Sacrament of Confession with Father Sergius, the novice master -- who,
by the way, being a gorgeous former cop in his thirties, gave me no end of
temptation and fantasy! Eventually the frequency of my lapses of chastity
caused him to recommend that I go straight to the abbot for confession and
counsel. He asked my permission to share my struggles with the abbot (this
permission is required by the absolute seal of confession) and I
reluctantly gave my consent. I was very afraid to do this, thinking that
the abbot might be forced to throw me out because of my wanton
self-indulgence, but I had no choice but to face the music.

I began meeting with Father Abbot regularly a couple times a week. My first
session with him was extremely awkward and embarrassing. It was causing
such visible anxiety in me that I could not bring myself to form the words
needed for a full confession of my many grievous sins of fleshly
indulgence. And on top of that, I had always been bothered by Father
Abbot's handsome, dashing, fifty-something looks: yes, another silver fox
that brought back feelings of both lust and loss that characterised my time
with the professor.

Finally, after two or three sessions, Father Abbot decided to address
things rather bluntly. But first, with great kindness, tried to put my
fears to rest.

"Brother Aelred", said with such compassion, "you remember what the word
'Abbot' means, right? It means 'father'. I am your loving father."

"Thank you for that, Father Abbot," I said, still with a bit of
trepidation. "I know that you are my father, and that your love for me is
unconditional. I just think that my problems are too much to bear, and that
I might have to leave."

"Now you're going a bit too far," said the Abbot, with a slight
chuckle. "There's no need to even consider this. I love you and want to
help you. I want only what's best for you. I want this life to work for
you. So please don't be afraid. You can tell me everything."

Barely keeping back the tears, I nodded, took a deep breath, and began to
recount my whole story, my sexual history. But I was still keeping some
things back, and using very formal church lingo to describe my sins
("self-abuse", "fornication", "unnatural acts", etc.).

After quite a bit of me trying to soften the impact of my story on what I
considered to be the Abbot's very holy ears, he stopped me abruptly.

"Okay, stop for a moment," he said, with a bit of humor. "This is a bit too
much.

This may shock you, but Father Abbot was a young man too at one time! He
wasn't born a saint, and still is very far from a saint! Every man deals
with fleshly thoughts and acts. Many of the older fathers will tell you
that they never really stop until you're six feet under!"

I nodded a bit, unsure of what he was getting at.

"In other words, Brother Aelred," he said while putting his hands tenderly
on my knee, "you don't have to soften your language for me. I can take
it. I wasn't born yesterday!"

The Abbot's touch sent shockwaves through my entire body. Am I so perverse,
I thought to myself, that I'm sexualising even this? I really am hopeless!

"I'm not prude, and after all, we're both men," he continued. "We both have
cocks. Does that word shock you, brother?"

Still reeling from Father Abbot putting his hand on my knee, this utterance
made me start to sweat. I could not believe what I was hearing. My face
must have been bright red. I began to relive that feeling when I had my
first look at gay porn: light-headedness, sweating, and fluttery feeling
deep in my gut. And worst of all, my manhood, betraying me once again as it
did in that high school locker room, began to swell under my tunic. I was
bewildered at how a man so holy could say this, and on top of this, my
physical arousal made me once again marvel at what a reprobate I was.

"I mean, let's just call a spade a spade. Spare me the theological mumbo
jumbo. Every guy has this thing, this cock and balls, between his legs. And
even from an early age, he gets to get hard and that leads, of course, to
jacking off. This is not a mystery, brother! I can tell from your face that
you have a question."

Barely able to draw a breath and to swallow my saliva, I said, "I just feel
a bit off about talking like this. It doesn't seem right, you know,
proper."

Father Abbot shook his head. "Nonsense. This kind of bullshit pious prudery
drives poor young men to despair. Tell me, do you beat off?"

I let out a great sigh, covered my eyes, and said, "Yes, I do."

"Good!" he exclaimed. "You're in touch with your body! You're not an angel,
you're a man. You're alive. You're healthy. By God, you're normal! God made
you a sexual being!"

This was strangely reassuring. I still couldn't believe my ears, but I
began to feel a sense of elation and exhilaration. If Father Abbot, a monk
with such long experience, was saying this, maybe I'm not a failure but
just normal!

"From what I've been able to gather from your veiled language," he
continued, "it sounds like you've engaged in a lot of sex. Tell me about
that. What sort of things would you do?"

I began to recount the early years of porn and masturbation, and the many
men I began to have as a horny college freshman.

"So sucking guys off and fucking. Are you a bottom or a top?"

"Mostly a bottom," I said with growing confidence, "but I do enjoy fucking
a nice ass once in a while."

"Now we're finally getting somewhere. We're being frank and honest. Thank
you for that, brother. And cocksucking? Do you enjoy that?"

My surprise, now one not of fear but of delight, only deepened when I
noticed that Father Abbot's hand was now in his crotch area, and that he
was slowly squeezing a large bulge under his habit.

"Oh yeah, definitely, I love to suck dick. I don't really have a gag reflex
so I can take even a large cock all the way to the hilt, no problem."

His crotch rubbing intensified.

I continued: "And the taste of a guy's seed really drives me crazy. I can't
get enough, actually!"

The Abbot nodded his head understandingly. Now he was groping himself with
both hands, and I could see the outline of a large shaft. I felt emboldened
to start working over my own raging erection as well. I could see Father
Abbot's eyes shamelessly taking in the sight.

"What about facials? Do you like him to shoot all over your face?"

"Yeah, I like both actually. The whole idea of taking a man's seed is
really amazing to me."

The Abbot unbuttoned the crotch area of his tunic and started to stroke his
shaft from the inside. This sight of this was driving me crazy and I
followed suit. It felt so amazing to feel the hardness of my throbbing cock
and to feel the copious precum which had already created a large wet spot
on my habit.

"You like a man's seed? I bet you like it in the ass too, right?"

"Fuck yes, Father Abbot. I like to be fucked hard and long and to get that
load inside me."

Father Abbot finally pulled out his large, fat, uncut, rock hard prick,
visibly twitching and glistening with streams of precum.

As he was stroking his glorious manhood, his brow was wet with
perspiration. As we looked into each other's eyes, I could hardly believe
the miracle that was about to happen.

The Abbot, cock gloriously revealed, with great fatherly tenderness, began
to open up for me the mystery of what was taking place.

"You see, son, this is the way that we deal with the lust of the flesh in
our community. Denying yourself makes you crazy, neurotic, joyless, and
depressed. Sometimes, you just have to give in to it."

"I want it, Father," I said lustily. "I need it."

I just couldn't control myself anymore. Almost without thinking I found
myself at Father Abbot's knees, with his amazing prick in my hand, looking
into his eyes and slowly stroking him. He put his hand on my head to guide
me, and I buried my face in his musky, bushy crotch, kissing and licking
his shaft, and biting his foreskin.

"Oh shit," he exclaimed, as he threw his head back. "That fucking always
gets me!"

I finally began to take him into my mouth. He placed both hands firmly on
my shaved monastic head and began thrusting himself deep down into my
throat, to the absolute hilt, until my nose was firmly planted in his
pubes. I took in deeply the intensely masculine smell of his bush. I sucked
him off long and furiously, until he pulled me head off.

He got up from his chair, and threw off his habit and his sandals until he
was completely nude, revealing his shapely body covered with fur, the sight
of which only multiplied my burning desire.

After removing my own habit, He came over to me, he grabbed and squeezed my
ass cheeks as our mouths met and our tongues twisted together and probed
each others' mouths. He broke the kiss and said to me, hands still kneading
me from behind, smiled and said:

"This is a venerable tradition, and we don't share it with everyone. You
have the gift, son, the gift of pleasure and sexual bonding in a spirit of
charity with chosen brethren."

He then said in a loud voice, "Father, you can enter!"

To my astonishment, in came my gorgeous novice master, Father Sergius,
completely nude, pulling at his semi-erect, cut, slightly curved cock as he
pinched his nipple. His manhood looked even longer than Father Abbot's, but
not as thick. I could not believe my fortune in getting to take two amazing
dicks at once.

"Well, hello brother," said Father Sergius, "it looks like your talks with
our Father Abbot have finally paid off. I am so proud to see that you are
willing to take on our weekly discipline."

"How would you like to take that monster of his up your tight hole,
brother?" said the Abbot with a wicked smile, as he sat back down in his
chair.

"Oh God, I fucking need it, Father," I whined as I bent myself over Father
Abbot and revealed my puckered hole to my novice master.

Father Abbot guided my head back to his crotch, and I resumed my greedy
sucking while Father Novice Master began to rub my crack with his
hand. Next thing I knew, Father Sergius was on his knees with his tongue
probing my asshole. The feeling made me pull my head up and groan with
delight, until Father Abbot took my head again and guided it back to his
rock hard prick.

"You see," said Father Abbot, grinding me harder and faster into his lap,
"Some of us have the gift of forsaking sex. That's fine, and they are good
members of the community. But some of us need this kind of manly bonding,
which can bring knit us more closely together in love than the others could
ever imagine."

At this point, Father Sergius had removed a bottle of lube from the Abbot's
desk drawer, and began slathering it all over my ass, and opening my hole
with his fingers.

"You're going to take both of us from behind, brother", said the Abbot,
"but Father Sergius is loosening you up for me."

This prospect made me suck his dick with even greater intensity. I felt the
novice master's dickhead rubbing up and down on my hole and finally
penetrating it, slowly thrusting in and out. Soon he was fully inside to
the hilt and began to bang me with ever increasing speed.

Soon my ass cheeks were slapping up against Father Sergius with a loud
smacking sound as he continued to assault my ass with his lengthy
member. This continued for what must have been several minutes, until the
Abbot pulled my head up once again.

"It's time for Father Abbot to take your ass, brother."

"Oh fuck, please", I said, panting for breath.

The two Fathers switched places, Father Sergius in the seat and Father
Abbot behind me. My superior invaded me abruptly, and resumed the pounding
with even greater intensity than his predecessor had. I buried my face in
my novice master's crotch, taking his even longer cock fully down my
throat, in and out, in and out.

Father Abbot, still plowing into me with full force, slapped my ass several
times with a loud smack.

"Honor and love thy father, you will be blessed" he kept grunting, shaking
me so hard that I had to release Father Sergius' dick. Father Abbot bent
over, and whispered in my ear, "My good, obedient son."

Father Sergius was by now standing up, furiously pleasuring himself.

Suddenly, the Abbot started to grunt, "Shit, fuck!" He stopped, his fat
cock buried to the hilt pumping his seed deep inside me.

"Show me that seed," he ordered, and I began to push his load out. The
Abbot mopped it up with his cockhead and began to fuck it once again into
my hole.

Soon it was Father Sergius' turn; he moaned loudly, and erupted all over my
face, stream after stream of his cum splashing into me with such force that
I still can hardly believe it.

When Father Abbot pulled me up and they both started to lick Father
Sergius' cum off my mouth, chin, and cheeks. Then we engaged in a three way
kiss, mingling the sweet fluid between us.

Finally, having finished every last drop, Father Abbot took me firmly by
the shoulders and said, "I am so proud of you. You will have to return once
or even twice a week if we are to keep the stress and tension in check."

"I can't begin to thank you both," I said emotionally, "I feel so much
better. My life makes sense to me for the first time."

"Yes," said Father Sergius, "the flesh and the spirit are not
opposed. Whatever we do in love is pure and clean in God's eyes. God made
you for this, son. You have the gift, we have the gift, and we must share
it."

"There's so much more to learn," said Father Abbot, with fatherly
tenderness. "And other brothers I will reveal to you when the time is
right, even clergy beyond our cloister walls. You will never want for
satisfaction."

I nodded, trying to keep back the tears. The Abbot's face beamed.

"Go and be at peace, my son, we've taken away your temptation."

I went back to my cell with hope and relief, thanked God, collapsed into my
bed, and dreamed of a life of brotherly love, both of the flesh and of the
spirit.

(Feel free to contact the author at sebastiansacerdos@gmail.com)