Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 00:21:51 +0700 From: Robert Glass <robxglass@gmail.com> Subject: The Virgin Joseph part 12 All right reserved. Any unauthorized use is prohibited. This is a fiction. Any resemblance to people and/or events is coincidental. If reading this deemed illegal to you, I implore you to stop. If it offends you, please do not read on. Donate: http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html PART 12 "Joe!" Sam called out, in between his seemingly new-found confidence and stride. As if he shone as a new person, as if the New Year gave him a fresh sense of health. "Hey, you're back!" "You missed me, didn't you?" "I am now sad to know that you are not gone forever." Actually Sam was just what he needed. At least the banter that never ceased to amuse him. Joe woke up that Monday with a feeling of dread. He hadn't had sex for a whole day and that was unacceptable, especially considering it was his second weekend as Tom's boyfriend. Tom still refused to be the top, so they were left to the other way around and Tom was left sore. The other night they had several blowjob and handjob sessions, and they were spent. They decided to sleep separately for a while, they needed some time alone. Not to think about shit and stuff but only to keep themselves from fucking each other. Not before a goodbye sixty-nine though, and one round of phone sex. New couples... For a new morning Joe decided to try another dish, something other than Saturday Morning's Breakfast for once. He ordered something called Peculiar. Joe had not realized how weird that diner was before; from creating a character called 'Saturday Morning' and make her create a signature breakfast, to something called "Peculiar." Peculiar indeed. "Happy New Year." Sam pinched Joe's cheek instead of doing traditional gestures like hugging or shaking hands. That was strong enough to pull Joe from his thoughts. "Ouch! We already said it to each other." Joe rubbed the sore area. "Yeah, but over the phone. This time it's for real." "Makes no difference." For a week and a half Joe had adjusted with his new routine. He had gotten used to waking up next to Tom, having breakfast with Tom, and making out with Tom in between everything. Tom hasn't called or messaged him since last night. Must be still asleep. Ugh! Tom this, Tom that. The last time he dove into the thought of his new boyfriend, he had to masturbate during the morning shower. "So, did anything crazy happened while I'm not watching?" Sam asked. "I should've asked you that. You went to Vegas!" Joe replied. "Vegas for work. Nothing is exciting. Your turn." Sam really missed Joe's eye roll, perhaps. "My boss closed the office for the whole new year week." Joe kind of missed it. His coworkers might have gotten tired by the whole thing, slaving from one drawing to another. Sometimes they had to do countless numbers of minor revisions because the client had a new idea which seemingly comes every fucking week. Then there are also incapable contractors who forced them to find solutions for the problems that the supposed experts were too lazy to solve. Submissions to the authority can be painful too since the folks had an evil ability to create a commotion every time a fire escape was an inch too far. Ultimately it was the constant lack of ideas that made them weary. Joe, however, saw things differently, just like an outsider that he was. Everything was still new and fresh. All the things that killed the architects of the office were seen as new discovery and adventure. Every scrutinized drawing was a complex puzzle for him to solve. Every designer's block was met with an enthusiastic view and crazily detached ideas, being not an architect himself. The wage was a big plus too. However dreary his morning was, he was still spirited enough to go through the day. "That's not crazy," Sam replied. "Hmm... well, I had sex and I got myself a boyfriend," Joe said, grinning like a surrealist cat, like he was waiting to say that his whole life. "Funny," Sam replied with a mock laughter. Joe rolled his eyes, as though the idea of him actually finding a guy sounded mythical. "I did." "Yeah, right. Who is it? Michael Fassbender?" Sam knew that Joe had been obsessing over that guy since the X-Men movie appears. "No. It's Tom." "The straight guy? Sure." Such reaction was expected. After all, Sam only knew the Tom sleeps with women, not men. "Well, he was straight. Now, he's pretty sure he's bisexual." Sam rolled his eyes, stealing Joe's signature move. Joe just pulled his phone out and browsed for the image of him kissing Tom which Nick secretly took. Joe proceeded with telling Sam every detail on he and Tom got together. Joe was talking with such excitement and happiness. How could he not seeing that Tom was the king of his mind. He even provided every minute detail about each and every sexual intercourse he'd had with Tom. He knew Sam liked hearing sex stories. Before Joe had the chance to bring up another one of his many sexcapades in the last week, Sam excused himself. "Come on. It's your first day. Nothing can be THAT urgent." Joe said luring Sam back. "It's my first day. EVERYTHING is urgent. The guys can get out of hand without me." He offered his usual smirk. "Fine! Go!" Joe said dramatically before smiling. Somehow at that moment, he felt like he did something wrong. *** "You seem bothered." Tom had already learned that to get answers from Joe he needed to ask point blank instead of easing in. Whenever Joe was deeply affected by his emotions it would show in his facial expressions and body language. Throughout the day Joe didn't speak much. He seemed distracted from his work, although there was not much to work with anyway. He also listens to his music, which he had not done in a while since he got started to get along with his coworkers. "I'm wearing two layers of pants and three layers of sweater. I AM bothered." Chicago had been cold. Extremely cold. "Don't you think this is the perfect week for Paul and Lucy to close the office? Sheesh!" Tom pulled the little man and kissed his cheek. "I mean something seems to bother your mind." Joe exhaled a thick cloud. "Yeah, but it's probably nothing." Both of them were walking to the station. Nick and Alice were not on one of their date night but still Tom preferred to take the train. He wanted to talk to Joe in private. Joe hated Tom for freezing him in this weather. "Come on, just tell me. We're boyfriends." Joe blushed. Boyfriend. Not a word he got used to yet, but he was glad he got one now. "It's Sam." He paused. He wasn't even sure why he worried about it. "What about him?" "I told him about us," Joe said. "And?" "I don't know. He didn't act weird at all, actually. I just have this nagging feeling that he didn't actually take the news that well. We did have an unpleasant history after all," Joe concluded. "Well, sucks for him. You're mine," Tom said. "Don't be so mean to him. He's a great guy. Next thing you know you'll break up with me and hook up with him," Joe said. "We've only dated for ten days and you already thinking about breaking up?" Tom said in mock surprised gestures. Joe gave him a disapproving look and said, "Shut up, Tom, or I'll break up with you for real." He then smiled. That smile was an invitation for a kiss. "You're so cute," Tom said. "Tommy, I'm serious. I don't know what to do with it." Yeah, they started to call each other with 'Tommy' and 'Joey', aside from 'babe". "I'm serious too. It does suck for him, but he just has to man up and take it. He has to deal that you don't like him back and stopped fawning over you. It's not your problem, it's his." Tom was right and as always Joe hated it. "I just don't want to lose a friend. I don't make a lot of friends. I keep what I can get." Quickly Tom replied, "Look, if he can't get pass this, if he's mad that you don't like him back, then he's not a friend. That means he demands something from you and he will not let go until he gets what he wants. Just talk to him. If he can't accept that we're together then you guys are not really that good of friends." "Yeah, you're right," Joe resigned. Tom draped his arm across Joe's shoulder and pulled his boyfriend to him, consoling the upset away. "Oh God. I have to talk to him and I'm going to hate it," he moaned. "If it makes you feel better, I can come with you," Tom offered. "And make things worse? No, thanks." Tom rubbed his hand on Joe's shoulder, just to show a little more affection. Tom himself had something in his mind. "I haven't told some people about us; about me being bisexual." "Who? Paul and Lucy?" "No, I'm not going to tell them. They'll be like 'not another couple!'" He laughed soon as Tom poorly mimicked his bosses. "Anna and Garry." "What? You haven't told them? I thought you would at least talk to Anna about this." "Nope, I came out to Alice." "One would have thought you would go to your gay sister to talk about your new found bisexuality, but you didn't," Joe said with bewilderment and sarcasm. After what happened when they told the group about their new status, Tom was not sure he could handle gasps, oh-my-god's and congratulations from anyone anymore. It was a good, but it went awkward. Alice was pissed that she was not informed earlier. Amy went squeally and screamy and jumpy and too happy about this. Nick was the cream of the crop. He was disgustingly happy about it. He kissed both Tom and Joe on the cheek. He even proclaimed that Anna was not his first gay best friend, Tom was. He will hold Tom in that pedestal, forever. Good Lord, Nick, get over it! Fortunately Jake was not at all dramatic about it, but it had Tom itching to know why Jake was not surprised too much. In the L before they parted, Tom touched the topic again. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" "No, he probably hates you," he glared at Tom. He reached across Tom's back and pulled the big guy on his waist. The gloves got in the way from feeling the shrinking love handle. "I have to tell you, though, that I don't feel the same way to him the way I feel for you. I must admit that I thought about it. Sometimes I wonder what if I slept with him. Would it be weird? Would we be closer? Would I eventually fall in love with him or would it fall apart? I still can't answer that." Joe leaned his hand onto Tom's arm then he looked up. "I'm sorry if what I said doesn't sit well with you." "That's fine. You think too much into it." Tom smiled, trying to put Joe to ease. "To be fair, he's quite handsome. I can see if you're attracted to him." "Don't say that!" "Just admit it, he's good looking." "He is attractive, but he's not you." Joe said diplomatically. It granted Joe a smile and a quick peck on the lips. *** Reaching his apartment Joe was anxious. He skipped sex again. He would love to make love with Tom but he knew he would not be able to enjoy it. The issue with Sam would be much too distracting. Tom's offer of accompaniment would be inappropriate, he felt. It would probably infuriate Sam further. Even then Joe still wasn't sure, was Sam actually mad about all this? Sam was home. His epic car was parked in the usual spot and the light in his apartment was on. Joe didn't find him smoking at the window, though, as Sam usually did. He probably avoided Joe. There was only one way to get this over with; Joe had to come over to Sam's place. It was a foreign place for Joe, he had never been there. All this time it was always Sam who came to visit, never the other way around. "Sam, it's me. Open the door." As the better kept and more expensive apartment, the information about the tenants was clear. More so than Joe's place. Joe was nervous before pressing the button, but he was a wreck of a mess after he did. To make things worse, the usually friendly and charming Sam didn't reply, he just buzzed the door open. Joe was dizzy the whole time he walked upstairs to Sam's door. He could hardly remember anything. He never felt this way before. In every confrontation he was in, Joe was almost exclusively on the right side of the fence. Now he was the offender. Not the best position to be in. "Come in." Sam said when he heard knocking on his door. Timid and scared, Joe walked in. "Hey." "Hey, what's up?" Sam was smoking when he reached for his seat again. The ashtray was pretty much full and the bottle of Tequila was pretty much empty. Not a good sign at all. Never one for the small talks, Joe jumped to the chase. "About this morning. You were upset." Sam smirked. "Kind of" "Is it because..." "Yeah." A long drag was pulled out of the cigarette. Joe didn't know what to make about it. Sam was calm and collected, not what Joe was expecting at all. In his mind Joe thought that Sam would be bitter or petty or at least denying the whole thing. He did not see an honest but level-headed Sam. "I just didn't see it coming, to be honest. He is... was straight, that's why." He took a swig of the tequila. Sam, the tough smart ass, was being vulnerable. Once again, Joe was the reason. "I was always there in front of you but you just never saw me like you saw him. How is that possible? I was there on your birthday. I cooked that meal for you, I didn't buy it. I was there when you needed a new phone, when you were sick, when you needed to talk about anything, every morning for breakfast. I can name a hundred things that you just didn't see me doing." His voice grew softer and weaker, like he lost all his energy. "It's not about what you do, Sam." Joe said with a thick cloud of guilt in his voice, so thick you could figuratively see it. Those words were the truth that speared into Sam's spine. So painful that it got Sam weakened; so painful that he finally cried, leaving the liquor next to him. "I know." Great, a crying grown man, thought Joe. He didn't know what to do. He cried to Tom not a week ago, now he knew what Tom was facing that day. This time it's Sam to him. It was the single most awkward situation Joe had ever been in, more than the two times he deprived Sam of sex. "Oh God," Joe thought, "How many times do I have to hurt him?" "Sam." Joe called met no response. Sam was not sobbing or anything, but the dropped head and the muffled snorting showed enough that he was crying. He walked slowly towards the sitting man, not dissimilar to that of stupid girls in a cheap horror movie. It could be dangerous and Joe knew better, but he went for it anyway. "Sam, are you okay?" "I'm not okay." He finally uncovered his face to show the wet skin, still shaking. He wiped whatever that ran on his face with his sleeve. He felt really vulnerable and he looked the part. He glanced at Joe for a moment but was not willing to hold it; those eyes belonged to a battered puppy. It was such a sad view, so sad that it compelled Joe to sit next to Sam to console him. "I'm sorry," said Joe. "It's okay. It's not your fault. My God, I can't believe I cried like a girl." He chuckled, with deep, dark bitterness in between laughter. He would get embarrassed if only had pride left within him. With glassy eyes he looked at Joe right in the eye. "I fell in love with you long ago, man. I don't know why I didn't tell you any sooner," he said with regret. Joe could have felt flattered, or annoyed, or confused, but only guilt that came to him. His head was low, his mouth shut. If only his brain was not so idiotic, he could have done something about it. He could have stopped Sam from hanging on too long. He could just stay away from Sam. Hell, Joe could've just fucked Sam and see what came out of it. None of the above. He did none of the above. Joe was too busy thinking about himself and his feelings and his dreams and his needs, but never anyone else's. Now he wondered what Tom, and Sam, saw in him. "That night after your birthday out, I was already totally in love with you," Sam continued. "I was crushed when you sent me home. Last month when you rejected me again, I was crushed too. This? this is harder. I even cried, for fuck's sake." Sam chuckled again. "I should've told you how I really felt instead of saying that we're good together and we should try it out." Sam laughed lightly. With an audible draw of breath, Joe inched closer to Sam, reaching his far shoulder to partly wrap Sam with a hug. He knew that Sam's laughter was a front, and the older guy needed some comforting. It was the least Joe could do. "I'm sorry," again Joe said, even after realizing how futile and meaningless those words are. "Don't be. I mean, even if I told you, you still wouldn't feel the same way." Even tangled around Joe's arms Sam could still take another swig of tequila; an absurdly long swig, so long that he finished it. "Anyway, congrats. You finally found love." Sam smiled. "Thanks." What else could Joe say? "You do love him, right?" "I do," Joe said with such determination. "Good, you deserve it." Sam dropped the bottle and hugged Joe back, finally. His sniffling was sporadic, his disappointment was constant. Sam thought he had let Joe go, obviously he was wrong. He thought he had no choice a month ago, now it was even clearer. The how to was still hard to figure out but he just had to do it. He had falsely believed that Joe was the one. He let go of his asshole-ish ways, his dickhead tendencies, but it was never enough. It never was his doing that mattered, it was his being. Unrequited love was hard. "It's going to be difficult tomorrow." Sam said as he let Joe go. "I'm going to have to act normal around you while having a massive hangover. On a Tuesday nonetheless. It's all your fault, Joe." Joe chuckled. "I told you I'm no good." "I always fall for the scums of the earth." *** "Good morning." Cheerfully Sam greeted Joe who was already sitting on his regular table. Joe had no reason to be surprised anymore. It was Sam, the man whose heart he tore just the night before, sitting on a chair in front of him without welcome or invitation, just like he usually did. "Good morning." Joe gave Sam a sympathetic look which Sam didn't enjoy at all. "You should know by now that I don't..." "You don't let anything get weird." Joe completed Sam's sentence. Yes, Joe should have known by then. "So, how are things holding up?" Very smart, right after he reminded himself not to make things weird. "We just saw each other last night. What life-changing event could possibly happen?" Sam answered. "I'll probably start listening to this Adele girl you've been raving about." He sniggered. "Wow, from Metallica to Adele. I recommend Winehouse, it's perfect with a bottle of vodka." "You don't even drink." Sam smiled over his coffee. Small talks aside, he had an agenda to bring up. "Listen, we need to talk things through." Sam said with no nonsense. Joe was alarmed. "Now that you're dating someone, we should come up with a new arrangement. I still want to hang out at your place, but I don't want to barge in when you have a sexy time with what's-his-name." "Tom." Joe said annoyed. He knew Sam was purposely taunting him. "You know, there's this super new technology some people call text messages, maybe you can use that. There's a more cutting edge discovery called instant messaging. You should have a research on that on your free time." Sarcasm, plain sarcasm. Sam chuckled. "Or I could just look at your window." He said as he made that lovely shit-eating grin. "Have you been doing that all this time? Have you watched me jerking off?" "Of course not." Sam gasped dramatically and comically. He smiled for a second before saying under his breath. "I respect you too much to do that." "Don't be that guy. Don't guilt me into your shit." Joe chuckled. Sam laughed too, which means Joe didn't cross any sort of line. Their joking had no line anyway, as it seemed. "How do you do it, Sam? How do you get not bitter and vindictive about this?" "Oh, I am bitter and vindictive. I just don't want to look like I am. I still want to be the first in line to get into your pants when you broke up with him," he said jokingly. "'When' I broke up with him? You're building yourself an ugly karma, Sam. Ugly!" Joe said laughing. ___ Aftermath. Poor Sam. I hope I don't leave you with too little progress with this chapter. I really feel like I need to write this particular chapter. What do you think? As usual, send me emails and visit my tumblr. I changed the URL to xglass.tumblr.com. If you have the old one bookmarked (which I doubt you do) you don't have to delete it. The old URL will redirect you to my new one. You guys probably have figured out that I try to submit new chapters every 2 weeks or so. Due to some personal stuff (actually it's only work and shit) I don't think I can promise to post new chapters in such timing. There will be some delays in the future. I've written another story if you guys are interested. I haven't posted it yet but I will within the next seven days. It is highly likely that it will be titled "Marc and Luke". Yeah, another bible pun. There will be eleven short chapters, around 2500 words per chapter. Unlike The Virgin Joseph, I've finished writing Marc and Luke so you can rest assured that you will find finality... if you decide to read it, that is; if I'm still alive by the time I have to submit the last chapter, of course. Cheers!