Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2013 19:58:47 +0700
From: Robert Glass <robxglass@gmail.com>
Subject: The Virgin Joseph part 2

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fiction. Any resemblance to people and/or events is coincidental. If
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PART 2


The headache was demonic. Joe didn't have enough sleep last night. The
incident with Sam had taken over his mind. That pervert was so God damn
creepy that it made Joe restless. His body clock worked without flaw, which
was unfortunate especially that morning. He groaned as he saw the number
seven on his phone. But he couldn't sleep anymore. Goodness! Sam made him
feel easy and cheap. And that thought reeled in Joe's brain for the longest
time last night. And again this morning.  Oh, what hurt he had caused to
Joe's pride.

His pounding head and baggy eyes begged for remedy. He even was tempted to
drink a cup of black coffee, or two, or three. But he knew that his stomach
would protest. He was screwed for the day.  Unlike the Saturdays before,
Amy's guitar practice at Tom's place was cancelled. Where was he to go to
steam off?

Joe was hungry and he didn't cook. He always had breakfast at the diner a
block away. But Sam probably knew that. He should know. He was a freaking
stalker. Joe was tempted on fasting through the morning. But then what
about lunch? And dinner? And what if Sam came over? That would further ruin
his already spoiled day. 'I probably just have to get out and face it.' Joe
thought. 'And eat... and maybe go to Tom's place anyway.'

Drama. So much of it happened in Joe's life.

He went outside lurking, trying to be stealth. He wore a jacket with the
hood on, covering most of his head. He refused to look up to Sam's
window. Even the image of that face in his mind was bad enough; the real
view would bust his gasket. He arrived at the diner without much hassle. He
took a seat on one of the table at the end of the room, not next to the
window like he usually did. He ordered the "Saturday Morning's Breakfast",
hoping it could soothe his mood. He had been having it for a week now,
having decided his favorite meal. No sign of Sam, so that is good.

"Can I join you?" Came a voice. Joe should have known.

"No." Joe didn't try to cover up his hostility.

"I just thought we could talk." Sam sat at a chair across the table,
totally disregarding Joe's unwelcoming words.

"Last night you just wanted to fuck, now you want to talk?"

"Well..." Sam wanted to explain but Joe cut him off.

"You know what? Just shut up. I am going to have a breakfast and I'm going
to have it peacefully."

Sam lifted both his hands, gesturing surrender. He didn't say a word as Joe
wished. But he had his eyes on Joe the whole time. Not just regular stare,
it was his I'm-going-to-sex-you-hard eyes. Joe could feel it. He ignored it
at first but it got really uncomfortable really fast. He dropped his
cutlery.

"Stop!" Joe sat up, looking straight into Sam's eyes with a poisonous
disinterest.

"I'm starting to think that it's your favorite word." Sam referred to the
incident last night.

"Okay, you know what? Leave!" Joe became exasperated.

"That's another favorite."

It was confirmed that Joe's day was destroyed. He, who had never wasted
food, ever, didn't want to finish his meal anymore. He just wanted to get
away from this sleazy douche nozzle. He stood up without saying a word and
left some money on the table. He walked away.

As expected, Sam followed him. "Hey, wait up!" Sam called out once they
were outside. Joe ignored him. Sam walked faster and pulled Joe's shoulder.

"What? What is it that you could possibly want from me this morning?" Joe
snapped.

"I just want to talk to you, that's all."

"Okay, speak!" Joe shot back.

"Talk, you know, conversational, two-way, interactive form of speaking."
Sam still had the nerve to be playful.

"We are already talking!" Joe strained.

"Over coffee?"

"You stalked me long enough to know that I don't fucking drink the fucking
coffee!" Joe said, practically shouting at the man in front of him. They
started collecting glances.

"Hey, I didn't stalk you." Sam said defensively.

"You live across the fucking street but we first met at a fucking bar
across the fucking city." Joe muttered, steaming with anger.

"Okay, okay. I might've been a little bit curious about you. But last night
was totally coincidence."  Joe wasn't convinced. "Okay I accidentally
overheard you talking on the phone in the diner. You said you were going
there, so..."

It was the confession Joe could believe. And he became more than a little
freaked out. He took a step back, while still maintaining his death glare,
turned around and left. He didn't want to waste any more time. Never in his
life had Joe met anyone that was quite like Sam. He started off being
charming, then sexy but quickly turned sleazy, and maddening.

"Get out of my way." Joe said in a calm but deadly tone, shoving away Sam,
who ran in front of him, only with his voice.

"Why are you being so hostile?"

Joe sighed, trying to gain composure. He didn't want to make a bigger scene
than it already had.  "Sam, you are a good looking man."

"Thanks." Sam was being too cheeky, which naturally annoyed Joe.

"That's not the point!" He almost shouted. "Look, I am certain that you can
find anyone to fuck around with. However, I assure you I am not that
person."

"Oh, but I want you." Sam replied, being flirty again.

Joe lost his patience. What could he possibly say to get his point across?
"I don't fucking want it!  Besides, look at yourself! Look at me! Aim
lower!" His declaration of pride mixed with thick Sarcastosian accent made
it sound like he insulted himself.

"Self-deprecation makes you look cuter." Joe had it; he wanted to get out
of there right away. His face said it all. The ever-relentless scruffy man
noticed. "Come on, man. You're the hottest man I've seen in a long
time. Trust me; I've been with a lot of men."

"Exactly my point." Joe said looking straight up to Sam's blue eyes. He
subconsciously made sure he conveyed his frustration. "Go find one of you
own kind. I'm sure there are a lot of man-whore out there that want to fuck
you. Just use them for your easy targets. I'm not interested." Joe stormed
out. He had enough of it. Sam was just too dense to deal with. As he walked
away he suddenly felt two hands on his shoulders that spun him
around. "Just what..."

Sam kissed him. On the street. In front of everyone. Joe was stunned. He
froze, shocked. He didn't even move his lips to receive the kiss, not that
he wanted to. He simply didn't see it coming.

When Sam pulled his face off of Joe's, he took a deep breath. He looked at
Joe's face to see his reaction.

BAM!

He was rewarded by a punch in the face. He flung backwards and down. His
head hit a light post.  People just stepped back a bit, some didn't even
noticed. Nobody tried to interfere. Nobody cared.  Ah, the polite
friendliness of an urban community.

"Ow." Sam touched his face, where it made contact with Joe's knuckles. On
his tongue he could taste the distinct metallic taste. "I'm bleeding," he
said before he could see his fingers. "I'm bleeding," he said again. Yes,
the cut on his left cheek was pretty nasty. He rubbed the back of his head
, where he hit the post. Thank God no bumps there.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Joe panicked. He didn't mean to inflict harm. It
was just a sudden impulse. He didn't even know he could deliver do that
kind of damage. Now he felt guilty. He approached Sam, trying to examine
just what exactly he had done. It worried him. "Are you okay?"  He kneeled
down next to Sam, his eyes focused on the bleeding wound.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He said still sitting. Joe sighed a relief. "Wow, a
fighter AND a lover." Sam said with a cheeky grin, complete with his blood
drenched teeth. But Joe couldn't care less. He dropped his head,
surrendered.  He stood up and left.


***


"You know what? Turns out he was a creep." Joe fumed.

"And you left me drunk, by myself, for that guy?" Tom said, making himself
sound bitter.

"I'll admit that it was not worth it." Joe removed the pack of ice from his
swollen right hand and propped it up to show what he was talking about.

"Coffee?" Tom offered.

"Seriously?"'

"Oh, right." He paused, "I don't know how you survive without coffee."

"Well, I don't drink alcohol which means I don't need coffee to recover
from hangovers." Joe obviously directed this comment to Tom. Tom replied
with a slap to the back of Joe's head. "Ouch!"

"That's what you get from being a smartass."

"This is what you get from walking around half naked when a guest is
coming." Joe gave Tom's ass the hardest slap he could give with his left
hand. It hurt as much as it was loud.

Tom jumped a bit from the sting. "Alright, alright. I'll change."

Aside from Amy, Tom was the person in the office he was closest
to. Everyone was nice, he got along fine with everyone including his
bosses. But he felt more connection with Tom and Amy. Lately, Tom had been
Joe's go-to guy. It was only because he lived closer to Tom. It was only
two stations away or a bus ride away. Tom lives with Alice and Nick. Joe
started to take a ride in Nick's car a couple of weeks ago.

"Are you happy now?" Tom returned from his room wearing a pair of
basketball shorts and a tank top.

"Yes." He stated firmly. But no, not really. Joe could still see all the
curves. The insane back muscles are now covered. But everything
else... Lord, have mercy. His hairy chest was broad and rigid when bare,
but now it's stretching the white clothing to the front, to the sides, to
its limit. His stomach was not ripped but that just emphasized the rugged
appeal of this brute of a man. Worse: the down lows. Man, that ass is God
given, the fabric just hung and swayed about. And the front side... let's
not go there. Those stupid shorts only highlighted those assets worse (or
better, up to you). It was not exactly the best help in concealing it.

"I'm going to make breakfast. Do you want some?" Tom offered, pulling
Joseph back to reality.

"Wow, you cook? Yeah, sure."

"You'll love my pancakes." Tom promised. He then gathered all the
ingredients. That kitchen was surprisingly well stocked. "So tell me. How
come you're still a virgin?" Tom asked, while mixing the dough. He had been
gracious enough not to press it on Joe. Perhaps now the situation seemed
perfect to bring that up.

Of course, Joe cringed. "Do I have to tell you this?"

"Yeah you do. You're the only person I know who is over twenty one and
still a virgin."

What the hell. He might as well just tell him. The short version, of
course. "I guess people are not too liberal where I grew up. Pre-marital
intercourse is illegal, homosexuality is a sin, and I spent my whole
college years crushing over a homophobic straight guy."

"Whoa, that's rough." Tom said empathically. "How did you survive living
there anyway?"

"Most of the time it wasn't bad at all. It was great actually. Especially
the food."

"You're easy to please." Tom scoffed amused. Tom wasn't sure what to say
next. He was concerned for Joe, but the person himself seemed to take it
lightly. "How about Bali? You lived there before you moved to Jakarta,
right?"

"Please, I was in high school when I was in Bali. I wasn't of age."

"What? I lost my virginity when I was sixteen."

"Easy for you to say. You're a perv." Joe said.

"Yeah? You're a pussy." Tom shot back.

"Hey, as long as I have a dick in me I'll be fine." Joe joked. They both
laughed.

"How about Birmingham then?" Tom asked again.

Joe pondered his answer for a bit. He didn't seem to be entirely sure about
the real reason why. "I don't know. I was twenty two at that time. Way
overdue. For me, it was kind of awkward. I was a little bit shy about it."

"Your brother didn't try to set you up or anything?"

"What? Justin? No." Joe exclaimed. That thought seemed so ridiculous to
him. "I mean he did try.  But he was so lousy at it that I begged him to
stop."

"You should let Amy do it. One time she introduced me to this girl, she was
great." Tom said as he flipped a disc of pancake.

"Where is she now?" Joe said, tactless as always.

"She wasn't comfortable with me being good friends with Alice. If I had to
choose, I wouldn't trade her for anyone." Tom confessed.

"Ooh, I smell love triangle and unrequited love."

"If you know us better, you wouldn't think so." Joe felt bad now that he
said that. Tom didn't seem to be bothered though.

Whatever ingredients Tom was using, he needed to patent it. It smelled
heavenly. In no time several pieces of pancakes bounced onto the plate. The
golden outer-layer was overtly titillating. Tom splayed out an assortment
of syrups for Joe to choose. He chose chocolate instead of maple.

"About this Sam guy," Tom brought the subject back again, "if he ever
messes with you again just call me okay? I can rough him up a little."

"Whoa! Dial that down a bit. I totally did not see that coming." Joe was a
little bit surprised by the proposition.

"I'm serious. He'll never bother you, ever again. I promise."

"Thanks, but I can handle it."

"Alright." Tom said. "Just know that I'll do it if you want me to."

"Okay." If a huge guy like Tom is enraged, Joe didn't want to be involved
with the lawsuits that surely would come. "Gosh. What happened to you, man?
You're usually a pacifist."

"I'm just saying."

"Alright. Thanks, I guess."

Tom just smiled, sincerely, seemingly lost all the intensity.

"You're like papa bear." Joe commented. Tom seemed to be amused by that
comparison. "One time you look all smiley and cuddly, the next you're a
savage beast."

"That's what my last girlfriend said." Tom said laughing.

"Ew, Tom. Ew!"


***


Joe was spent. He woke up around noon in a living room that wasn't his. He
was tired, the short nap was not enough. His hand, while has lost some of
its swell, was hurting. The lunch he had with Nick, Alice and Tom was fun
though. At least his day got better after the incident that happened
earlier in the morning. But just to make good thing sour, when he finally
home at nine to rest and call it a night, Sam happened.

"Can I come in?" The voice from the other side asked.

Joe buzzed him in. He wasn't about to argue with Sam over the wire. There
Joe was again, feeling irritated by the same guy that made him feel that
way just fourteen hours earlier. He waited by the door until Sam got
upstairs. To sit down and get up again just for this particular prick was
too much work. He opened the door just as Sam arrived, before he had the
time to knock.

"Hey," Sam greeted with his charming smile again. Although this time his
face was marred with a stripe of bandage over his cheek.

"Hey," it didn't have any effect on Joe.

"I got beer and tequila." Sam lifted his hand, proving his words.

"I don't drink." The reply was cold.

"More for me, then." Sam made his way in uninvited. "Nice place."

"Cut the crap, what do you want Sam?" Joe closed the door.

"I just want to hang out."

"Then you're not welcomed," Joe opened the door again, "get out!"

"No, no, no, no, no. I want to apologize. I'm sorry for what I did." Sam
gushed out in panic, while still maintaining a cute smile.

"And what fault do you want to apologize for?" The door was closed again.

"I, uh, annoyed you?" Joe opened the door again. "Okay. I'm sorry I
disturbed your morning. I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of people. I'm
sorry if you feel violated when I kissed you." Sam said rapidly.

"Fair enough." Joe said as he closed the door with finality.

"Although I'm kind of glad that I did." Sam said feeling less pressure
now. He opened Joe's fridge to put in the beer. He took out one of them.

"Oh, shut up."

"To tell the truth, I don't know what I did wrong last night."

Joe sighed. "Let's see. You picked me up at a bar, thinking that I was
drunk. You seduced me. You made me agree to go to my place which, by the
way, is a step away from yours so that you can escape in the morning. Do I
need to present you with more evidence?"

"Okay. First of all, I was wrong, you weren't drunk. Second of all, I admit
I was wrong when I led you here last night. But what am I gonna do? Like
you said, we live next door and then I met you at a pub across the
city. You'd freak out."

"Obviously I'm not freaked out now."

"Yeah, I didn't think that through." Sam chuckled to himself. Joe rolled
his eyes, still standing. "I saw you when you moved in a month ago. I've
been seeing here and there around this area. We have breakfast at the same
diner, for Christ sake. I wasn't sure if you're gay, you weren't giving me
any vibes. You were so mysterious. That's why I came to the bar; I had to
see you in your natural habitat.  Turns out you are, so I had to snatch you
up."

"I'm flattered" Joe said in a deadpan fashion.

"You might as well be. You're the hottest guy I've seen in a long time."

"I guess if you call me hot one more time my clothes would magically
disappear and you can fuck me all you want."

Sam paused, and squinted at Joe. He stood up. "Is this what it's all about?
You don't like me calling you handsome?" Joe said nothing, only giving evil
look. Sam took that as a yes. "It's true isn't it?" Joe didn't answer
it. He instead decided to open his laptop and turn it on.  Sam stepped
closer to Joe.  "Man, you got to learn to take a compliment."

"I suppose it would make me jump onto your bed."

"Oh, come on. You are handsome and hot and whatever things I called you
last night." Still inching closer to Joe.

"Would you please cut it out? I'm asking you politely."

"You're cute when you're angry."

"Cut. It. Out!"

But Sam had another idea. He wrapped his arm around Joe's waist and pulled
him close to him. And kissed him. Again. Just like what he did this
morning. Joe, however, handled it differently. He kicked Sam in his
genitals with his knees.

"Fools never learn." He said under his breath. Sam fell onto the floor,
squirming and groaning.  Rolling around in pain. Joe walked to his kitchen
calmly, as if nothing happened. He took a glass of water and drank it while
watching Sam suffering in pain.

"Help." Sam pleaded.

Joe saw Sam still rolling on the floor in pain. He decided that he was
being too cruel. Well, screw being not cruel, that was hilarious! Joe
started to laugh but Sam didn't seem to appreciate the humor. He was the
victim, the one that Joe was laughing at. After it died down, Joe helped
Sam to stand up. He guide Sam to the couch and then handed him beer. That
seemed to help. He finally able to laugh about it.

"God, you have a serious rage issue." Sam said.

"I might." Joe chuckled.

"Sorry," Sam said. "It usually works in movies." He joked. Joe smiled. A
highly dreamy smile. At least in Sam's eyes. "Does this mean you forgive
me?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." The amusement still not escaped Joe.

"Let's start over." Sam said sitting up. "Hi, I'm Sam. And I promise not to
kiss you ever again." He extended his hand.

Joe took his hand. "Hi Sam. I'm Joe. And I'm..." He looked down, looking at
probably his knees. Face molded into doubt. Suddenly somber. "I'm an
alcoholic. My... my therapist told me to always introduce myself that way."
Looking into Sam's eyes he tried to find the reaction. It changed. The ever
present upward curve at the end of his lips loosened and fell. His eyes
dropped to sympathy.  And a sigh.

Joe broke out laughing again; he couldn't hold it for too long.

"You should see the look in your face." Joe fell to his back on the couch.

"Asshole!" Sam chuckled.

That did break the ice. All tensions released. Maybe it was the silly
little prank. Maybe Joe could finally see that Sam's apologies were
sincere. Or that maybe he could see that Sam was not insane.  All that
misguided cutesy, flirty ways was probably just who he was. And finally
were able to talk to each other like two men would. Thankfully Sam did not
bring up any issues that Joe had seemed to be bothered with. Surprisingly,
Joe managed to continue talking with Sam for hours. It was almost midnight
when Sam had to excuse himself. The conversation ran fluidly that both had
lost the any sense of time. It was as if they were old friends while in
fact they were just getting to know each other.

"I didn't get your last name." Sam said before he left.

"Becker."

After waiting for a second for reciprocal question coming and not getting
it, Sam added. "Mine's Scriven, by the way. Sam Scriven."

"Sam Scriven, you're superhero-ready." He said. Sam did not get it. "You
know, likes Bruce Banner, Peter Parker."

"Oh." Was all Joe could respond with.

 "So, what are you?" Sam still not tuned in. "Your super hero name." Only
eyes opened wide. "Okay, I'll give you one. How about... Gingerboy?"

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed while Joe laughed. "My hair is not that
red." Although annoyed, he enjoyed seeing Joe laughing. It was
heartwarming.

"Anyway, do you remember the guy who were sitting next to me last night?"
Joe segued as the fun died.

"Yeah, the one with nice ass." Sam said. Joe gave a disapproving smile.

"Well that guy's my friend and he wants to beat you up should you ever
bother me again."

"Seriously?" Joe nodded. "That guy's huge."

"I know, so you better not do it again." Joe said. "Now, as I said so many
times before: leave!"

Sam flashed a half-grin, "Alright." He said as he leaned forward with
puckered lips. Joe slammed the door on his face, feeling fulfilled
afterwards.

"Good night, Gingerboy." Joe said from behind that slab of solid wood.

"Night." Joe shouted back. 'God, how is it possible that I like this guy
more now?' Sam thought. It was the fact. He grew fonder with every moment
passed. Joe was sharp and bright and smart and witty. He's a geek after
all. And it was God damn hot for Sam. Sadly, he also realized that Joe was
not as attracted to him as he was to Joe. But he was determined to change
that.

___

Yet another chapter boys (and girls). I'm just glad it took me *only* this
long to write this. Still I apologize if I butchered your language. I'm
also sorry if I depict Chicago inaccurately. I'm sad that my reference
show, the wonderful and hilarious Happy Endings, is cancelled. Gotta watch
Chicago Fire now. Or get a Chicagoan editor (psst... I still self-edit
these things).

As usual, hit me up by email (press "Home" key, it's at the second line of
this page) or you can visit my tumblr: manlyneeds.tumblr.com

Cheers.