Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 01:41:33 +0700
From: Robert Glass <robxglass@gmail.com>
Subject: The Virgin Joseph part 21

All right reserved. Any unauthorized use is prohibited. This is a
fiction. Any resemblance to people and/or events is coincidental. If
reading this deemed illegal to you, I implore you to stop. If it offends
you, please do not read on.

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PART 21


As much as Sam didn't let things get awkward between him and Joseph, things
did get awkward. Post- apologies, Sam started to go to the diner at the
same time as Joe. None of them know how to interact to each other
anymore. Those couple of weeks of uncomfortable encounters drove Sam madder
and madder. Strange how Joe seemed to be okay with things.

Sam felt the urge to confront Joe again. He needed to know his position in
this situation. He did offered to move away from Joe, but the guy never
gave him a concrete answer. Should Sam move? Should he stay? Was Joe
comfortable with him around? Has Joe even forgiven him? Sam should confront
Joe!

"Joe."

"Yes?"

"How are you?" Yeah, things did get really awkward.

Joe shrugged. "Okay, I guess. You?"

"I'm great." Sam sighed. "Actually no, not great. I really, really... I
can't seem to... I don't know..." Poor Sam. Sam really didn't know how to
communicate with Joe anymore. He rubbed his palm onto his face, trying to
rid the nerve away.

Joe surprised him; he took the other hand in his. Joe pulled that hand to
his face. Sam's hand was colder than the nearing summer. Joe rubbed that
hand with his hand and to his face, just like how Sam did his face. He blew
hot air into it, trying to warm it up. Sam was immobilized. This is the
most intimate experience he has ever had with Joe, even more than the two
times they almost had sex.

"Calm down," Joe said, neither to Sam nor himself.

"Joe, I..." Sam was immobilized. How is this even possible? After weeks of
cold shoulders, this warm gesture was too surprising. "I really have to
know if..."

"I forgive you," Joe said. "Do you forgive me?"

"For what?" Sam asked, baffled.

"I don't know. For things. Maybe for attacking you again, hanging on to
you, for making Tom sexualize you, for not giving you answer, anything. If
I fuck up, there must be something that I did wrong."

No, in no part was it Joe's fault. Sam rose from his seat and moved next to
Joe, unusual but necessary seating arrangement for the two. "You did
nothing wrong. None at all," he said.

"Sam, logically there is. I must have done something wrong too."

"I don't care. Maybe you did, but it must not be worse than what I did."
Sam was hyperventilating. Too much emotion.

"Calm down," Joe said again.

"Okay." This time Sam replied to it.

Their breakfast arrived. Sam with a cup of coffee, Joe with a glass of
water. They did not eat it, they were still holding hands, staring at each
other. They did not care if everyone was looking at the drama they were
displaying. No. None of it was important.

"I never thought it would be this easy," Joe said.

"What?"

"Forgiving you. I never thought that it would be this easy to forgive you."

"Easy?"

Joe laughs. "Okay, okay, it was not easy. These past weeks has been
hard. Coming to it was hard but I never thought that it would be so easy to
actually say it and mean it. You did a serious thing there, so it's hard to
imagine..."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Sam interrupted.

"Yeah. I forgive you." Joe concluded.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Sam finally got the chance to say it. He
meant it. The horrible feeling is finally lifted from his shoulders.

"Hug me," Joe asked.

"What?"

"Hug me. You're a big guy and I'm small, you should hug me. Emotional
things always take a toll on me, you should hug me. The air is cold. I'm
about to cry. The enemies are invading. I can give you a hundred reasons,
okay? Just fucking hug me."

"Okay." Sam rushed to the command, the very strange command. It wasn't
strange the first time Joe asked it but it was strange by the time Joe
listed all the reasons.

It was nice.

It was nice to have this grumpy young man around him again. It was nice to
know that Sam was not on Joe's bad side anymore. It was nice to give and
receive a hug from Joe. It was warm and fulfilling and finally easy. It
eases Sam's mind. The storm of agony that clouded him when he arrived at
the diner earlier was just gone. Just like that. One hug to remove it all.

"I should do this to Tom now." Joe sighed.

"You should. He loves you so much," Sam said.

"Sure." Joe did not believe it. He was ready to forgive both men but not
ready to trust. They both broke the trust, after all. The image of them
sleeping naked on Joe's bed was not an easy one to forget.

"He does. We talked a lot after that... incident. He's miserable. He can't
move on."

"You did?"

"Yeah. We meet up downtown every other day. He, almost without fail, cried
every time we talked.  Imagine a guy as big as him crying in public. It was
kind of embarrassing." Sam laughed. Joe too. Tom was indeed a softie.

"I talked to Henry. He really likes you," Joe countered.

"I saw you."

"He really likes you," Joe repeated.

"I know."

Joe made a face, that of wanting explanation. "So, why didn't you stay with
him?"

"I slept with another guy. I don't think it's right for him to trust me
after that."

"But you didn't sleep with Tom," Joe offered.

"I didn't, but it seemed like it," Sam said. "Wait, you believe it?"

Joe shrugged. "Yeah. Why not? It doesn't matter anyway. I still am broken
up with Tom."

"I'm sorry. I..."

"That's okay," Joe said. "I don't blame you. Tom is kind of hot." He
laughs.

"Yeah, kinda." Sam joined him.

The ease lingered. It felt so good, especially for Sam. Somehow the old
connection was restored, seemingly so easy and effortless. They could joke
about how hot Joe's ex was, knowing the fact that Sam was the reason
everything happened.

"I think we all should hang out some time. You bring the booze, I bring the
boys," Joe said.

Sam almost spat his coffee. "We? You mean you, me, and Tom?"

"And Henry."

This time Sam really spat his coffee. "No... There's no way I can be near
him."

"What? He still likes you. You may be able to get it back on."

Sam cringed. As meaningful that relationship was, Sam couldn't imagine how
that would continue. He was naked with Tom in Joe's bed, for Christ's
sake. There's no way he can be near Henry. "Nope. I can't"

"At least be friends. I'm friends with him now. I'm also friends with my
ex. Why can't you? I mean you're the social one among us."

Fuck, Joe! Why did he have to be so reasonable?


***


The interaction between Joe and Tom is different to that with Sam. They
were more communicative.  They talked more, although it was never reached a
personal level. They worked together after all; you can't just ignore when
the other guy is there. Joe still hadn't have the chance to verbally
express that he forgave Tom. There was never a chance and there was never a
will in him. Now there was only one of the two reasons that were missing.

Joe had to make the chance. He made it. They were walking out of the office
and like the last few days, Joe didn't avoid Tom. Also, like Joe had done
so many times before, he tactlessly jumped into it.

"I forgive you, you know," he said.

"Oh?" Tom said surprised. "Thank you."

"You know, shortly after I told Sam I forgive him, I asked him if he
forgave me too. He's confused, because he thought that I did nothing
wrong."

"You did nothing wrong."

"I could've at least done it without punching you two."

"True," Tom laughed.

"Yeah, sorry for that," Joe said.

Tom was relieved that Joe already forgiven him, but where do they go from
here? Things has been so messed up, to hope for Joe to be back with him
would be ridiculous. That was all he wanted. Shit. "So, are you meeting new
people now?" Tom asked instead.

"I've never been the kind of person that meets new people." Joe
chuckled. "Besides, I'm a heartless son of a bitch."

Tom laughed too. "The notoriously stoic Joseph Becker," he commented.

"What can I say, cold and heartless guys are attractive."

Tom let it linger. He didn't say a word. Even Joe could sense the longing
that Tom was showing. They miss each other bit not willing to say it,
afraid that it could lead to something less than ideal. They did not want
to complicate things now that it's gotten better. They turned a corner.

"You've been seeing Sam lately," Joe said.

"Yeah."

"Want to hang out... with him... and me... and Henry? I told him I want us
all to hang out together."

"Sure. I like Sam, he's cool. Aside from the naked in your bed together,
that is." They laughed. It felt better these days compared to the first few
hours at the aftermath of the apology. Now they can even joke about it. One
thing though. "Henry, huh?"

"Yeah. I like Henry. He's cool." They laughed again. "Sam mentioned you cry
to him." Joe let out a smug smile.

"I did." Tom said, without a tinge of embarrassment whatsoever.

"I loved you for that," Joe said.

"Loved." Tom grimaced by the precise diction. "I wish it isn't in past
tense but it's understandable."

"Guilt trip?"

"No! I... I didn't mean to..."

"Relax, Tom, I was just messing with you," Joe laughed lightly. "You've
always been like that, so honest and sensitive and understanding. I guess
it's so amazing to me that you're so in touch with your emotion. You taught
me how to be that way, actually. You can always tell when I feel bad even
before I acknowledge it. I'm very grateful for you and what you've done for
me."

"This dangerously feels like a farewell speech." Tom joked despite the
genuine concern.

Joe punched Tom's large, muscular arm, one of the pair that had erotically
suffocate Joe in the past. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"I should hate you, you know?" Joe said.

"I know."

Joe stopped walking, leaving the unaware and deep-in-thoughts Tom to stride
by himself. Only a second later then Tom realized.

"Uh... Something wrong?" Tom asked over his shoulder.

"No, not at all. I just wanted to see your ass," Joe said. To that Tom
flustered. "I still got it. I still can make you blush. You still got it,
too." His flirtatious eyes pointed to the massive junk in Tom's trunk.

"D-d-don't do it, or... or I might not be able to resist you." Tom's
response was serious although it sounded impish.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to lead you on." Joe strode on and pulled the ever so
still Tom to walk with him. "If I can be honest, I regret this decision a
little. I shouldn't have put an end to our sexual relationship. We could've
been fuck buddies."

Tom's face was burning again. Joe had penetrated him with a thought. He got
used to having just the penis entering him. "Remember the complication,
Joe. It's for your own good."

Tom could feel his t-shirt being pulled at the hemline. Sure enough he
found Joe's manly hand gripping at the fabric. When he traced up to Joe's
face, he found the man was breathing rather heavily. Now something's
definitely wrong. Tom knew Joe long and intimate enough to know that any of
Joe's intense emotion would be expressed in a physical manifestation of the
same intensity. Joe would be still and lifeless when sad, and violent when
angry. This was something different.

"Joe?"

"I really, really want to touch your ass." Tom snickered a little before he
stopped seeing Joe didn't laugh along. Is he being serious?

"Joe..." Tom's gave a softer face.

"Your ass, your body... it drives me mad. I miss your body... touching,
kissing, making love. I miss that part of you, of us, where we can be as
intimate as we wanted. Now as much as we get along we don't connect like we
used to. I miss you even when you're here next to me."

Tom ran his hand through the greasy mess that was Joe's hair. The shorter
man looked up, presenting his glum expression. It was not a particularly
sad look although misery was certainly there, it was a yearning, one that
Tom also held.

"I do too," Tom said.

"Is this what loving your ex feels like?"

"Maybe." Tom then pulled Joe into a hug. He hadn't done that in a very long
time, it seemed. He almost forgot what it felt like. Well, it felt
perfect. Joe was a perfect fit for his body, like water that fills every
nook. The same hand lingered on Joe's head while the other rubbed along the
spine. Joe was tighter with his grip, circling Tom and pulling him in. "I
miss you," Tom said.

"I miss you too," Joe replied to his ex's solid and warm chest. "We can't
do this can we?"

"We can't."

"It sucks."

"It does." Tom scratched Joe's head like he used to and Joe rubbed his face
on Tom's chest like he used to. It was what felt good for Tom, the
familiarity and the intimacy with the one he was once with. Quite frankly,
Tom would admit that he missed Joe's ass too, and his cock in said ass, or
Joe's cock in his ass.  His mind didn't go quite that far at that moment,
thankfully. The good old days; one mistake Tom wished he could undo
prevented them to become what they used to be in the good old days.

"We're in public," Joe observed once that skill came back to him. They
mutually let go of each other with a content yet yearning smiles.

Tom proposed, "Tell you what, once we turn that corner you can grab my ass
and I'll grab yours. Just all the way until we turn another corner."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"This dangerously feels like a farewell speech."

"In a way it is."

They both smiled to each other, like they used to.


***


"I knew it wasn't a good idea to let you drink." Sam said.

"Please, stop screaming," Tom replied. "I'm sorry. He seemed to be okay
last night."

"Yeah, I know. But considering..."

"The last time we saw him drunk?"

"Yeah." Sam scratched his head like he screwed up. He was the one who
brought the booze. The last time Joe got drunk he got himself in vomit
bath, not to mention bleeding feet. That time Joe was upset, extremely
upset. Last night Joe was chirpy.

"I'm right here, people," Joe said. "Don't worry, I'm never gonna drink
again. Let's just blame that 'last time' on the situation."

"How are you still okay?" Sam asked. "You had like four shots of vodka in
20 minutes, after an hour of constant beer. You also didn't seem to be that
drunk at all; you managed to beat the crap out of us in Need for Speed."

"Oh please. That was nothing. You should see me back in the days," Joe
said.

"As in last month."

"As in two years ago, before I moved here," Joe said.

"What?" It came out of Tom this time.

"I used to be an alcoholic. I did tell you that, right?"

"No." Tom and Sam said simultaneously.

"I'm pretty sure I did."

Sam looked back into his memory. Was there any instance where Joe ever
mentioned about drinking?  Was it at the bar when they first met? Was it
any time when he brought bottles after bottles of alcoholic beverages to
Joe's apartment? Then it hit him. "God."

"Remember now?" Joe pegged.

"I thought you were joking."

"I wasn't."

"But you never told me," Tom jumped in.

Joe tried to remember past events to see if Tom's assessment had any
point. It had. "Well, to be fair I only told you that I don't drink because
alcohol was, quote in quote, 'ugh'."

Joe laughed but Tom doesn't find it funny. "Joseph! You were alcoholic. How
come I... Why didn't... Why did you drink? I mean, why did you let us bring
drinks?"

"Why did you let me stock your place up with alcohol?" Sam added.

Joe sat up, took both men's hand in his and saw them to ease. "It's not
your fault. Well, it kinda is, but all in all it isn't. Staying sober takes
a lot of will power. I have to make the choice not to drink. When I found
you guys in my bed, I could've just sleep it off or go to Amy's place or
something, but I didn't. I chose to drink. If my apartment wasn't filled up
with drinks, I'd go out to the nearest dive bar."

"And last night?" Sam asked.

"I thought I could control my intake. Turns out I couldn't, so..." Joe
shrugged.

"What are we talking about and why are we holding hands?" Henry said,
coming in later than everyone else.

"He was an alcoholic and he never told us," Sam said with a spiteful tone.

"You were? No wonder you drank like a sailor... and curse like one too,"
Henry joked.

"It's not funny," Sam insisted.

"Oh, come on, just drop it. Can we talk about something else now?"

Tom and Sam stared at Joe intently, saying 'this is not over' with their
eyes. Both of them felt betrayed and guilty especially after the whole
sleeping together ordeal, especially since the disastrous night they just
had. It was horribly crazy and out of control. They all woke up to a fucked
up apartment reek of unholy smell of alcohol and regret. Tom was on the
floor, Sam was on the bed with Joe and Henry who was spooning.

"Let's talk about your accident this morning, Henry," Joe offered.

Henry turned red in an instant. His giving up on the night was the reason
the whole gang stopped last night; the accident triggered the whole gang to
wake up. Henry crashed after a few little drinks. He lost his sanity and
stripped to his skimpy underwear saying that he was hot, then fell on the
couch.  Immediately Joe decided to sleep too and headed to his bedroom. No
one knows what ran into Tom's mind when he carried the almost naked Henry
to Joe's bed or when he guided the almost dead Sam to the same place, but
he did. Then he, too, gave up, choosing the floor as his final resting
place.

Joe woke up to the frantic gyrating behind him. He was wrapped in a
muscular arm with his back pressed against someone's chest, his ass to a
humping crotch. When he heard a cracked voice moaning, he understood what
was happening. Henry was humping him. When Joe regained enough brain power
to protest, it was too late, Henry had already reached his climax. That's
why he was the last to arrive in the diner; he had to take a shower first.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Henry said. He was hoping that the topic would
not come up this soon. He ended up burying his face in his hand as soon as
he sat down. "I uh..."

"Horny?" Joe offered.

"I haven't had sex in a while."

"You like making out with me, don't you?" Joe said.

"Oh God! We made out?"

"We did. They didn't."

It was all for fun. Actually, it was Henry who proposed the dare, Sam was
to make out with Tom if Joe and Henry did. Well, Joe and Henry did, Tom and
Sam didn't. It all seemed like a fun idea when you're out of your
mind. When sober? Not so much.

"What else did I do last night?" Henry asked.

"Well," Joe looked at Sam, because it was involving him. Sam got the
message.

"You told me that you're not actually gay."

"The pains of being bisexual. You have to come out every time." Henry
sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, though."

"It's alright. Don't worry, I understand." Sam assured.

"Tom," Henry said. "This is what your future might look like. Either with a
man or a woman, you're still going to have to come out."

"Fuck, I've never thought of that." Tom only added to the sour mood.

"Wow!" Joe quipped. "This is so uplifting."

Sam then turned to Joe. "This is what you get from getting drunk. So
don't!"

"Okay, mom!" Joe joked. Thankfully they all laughed along. Everything was a
bummer for a moment.  "Speaking of, you two will make a really cute
couple. Tom will be the dad, and Sam, you'll be the mom."

"What?" Tom and Sam exclaimed at the same time.

"Come on. You can start now. You guys are already seeing each other, in
some sense, and you already have a chemistry. All you have to do is start
dating, then you can get married and adopt us as your sons.  We'll make a
cute, slightly incestuous, little family."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sam said.

"Just saying."

The two started to argue, just the way they used to. Those guys haven't
realized it just yet but they did feel a sense of comfort that was lost
once. Although it returned in the form of verbal fighting, it felt good and
right, so much so that both Henry and Tom enjoyed it too. They knew that
such connection was present before, and it was present again.

"He's cute, isn't he?" Henry offered, referring to Joe.

"He is." Tom agreed.


___
It's a miracle I managed to churn this one out. Anyway, enjoy!

Email: robxglass@gmail.com
Blog: xglass.tumblr.com
Other story: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/relationships/marc-and-luke/