Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2014 11:41:24 +0700 From: Robert Glass <robxglass@gmail.com> Subject: The Virgin Joseph part 27 All right reserved. Any unauthorized use is prohibited. This is a fiction. Any resemblance to people and/or events is coincidental. If reading this deemed illegal to you, I implore you to stop. If it offends you, please do not read on. Donate: http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html PART 27 "I'm sorry I finished so fast," Tom said, embarrassed but not so much. He was in the afterglow. It had been a few minutes and he was still panting heavily and having pleasant dizziness. "Me too," Joe said. "You're on fire!" He commented. "Didn't Sam please you enough last night?" Joe was heaving all the same, looking at the ceiling on Tom's bed. The comfort of the muscular arm under his head almost send him to sleep if Tom hadn't made the comment. Joe rolled around, landing his arm across Tom's now ripped torso and burying his face in the dense forest of Tom's armpit. It tickled the laughter out of Tom but the man didn't move; he loved the tingles. Joe emerged, but immediately chomped Tom's nipples. Another round of hearty laughter. "Stop it, you horny son of a bitch!" Tom said, still laughing. "I guess Sam wasn't enough for you." "He was enough, but only for the night." Tom pulled Joe and laid the man on top of his body. Tom's broad and beefy physique contrasted the narrower and more compact one of Joe. Their skins were several shades and hues apart. Yet it was all harmonic; the difference between them was familiar and right. "You're insatiable," Tom said after a while. "You know me." They kissed, soft and sweet. It was their favourite kiss, for after sex, at least. That kind of kiss was perfect to compliment the good feeling that entailed a good orgasm, also perfect for each other's lips. Joe could not get enough of Tom's lips. They were the best, for kissing, teasing and blowjobs. Sam couldn't hold a candle to that; he was only better than Tom at rimming. Tom's lips was also the bringer of one of Joe's favourite sounds: Tom's voice. Tom has a certain texture that no one else had. It was deep, thick, and laced with gruff grunts, but it was also soft, tender, and velvety. That voice belongs to an excellent father or an inspirational figure. Joe knew that Tom had already become the latter. The smaller man revel in the dense fur that was Tom's chest; another thing that was familiar and right. The gentle strokes on his head slowly brought drowsiness into Joe's eyes, the gentle strokes on his back quickly brought peace and warmth. It was all like it had been before; before the stupid break up and before the open two-timing. "Justin is hot." It surprised Joe, both the voice out of calm and the statement itself. Joe raised his head from the comfort Tom's body had provided. His face questioned everything. "What?" "I think Justin is very attractive." Tom was trying his best to look Joe in the eyes. He failed. "Where is this coming from? What are you up to?" "I'm just saying he's hot." "O... kay..." Joe raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. That was very confusing to him. "He kind of looks like Sam," Tom added after a couple of seconds of hesitation. "Okay, Tommy, where are you going to with this?" "I think what I wanted to say is... that I can see why you like Sam," Tom said, finally brave enough to look into Joe's eyes. "He's so much like Justin." "No he's not?" Joe said. "And they don't look alike." "They're around the same height and same build. They both have small squinty eyes, and phenomenal jaw line, and that stupid lopsided smirk." Joe didn't buy the assessment. He paused a moment to take into account what's been said and what hasn't. "I agree about the smirk, it's stupid and they both have it. The others are just incorrect arguments. And you're still not making sense. I don't like Sam that way, and whether or not I like Sam, which I don't, has nothing to do with whether or not he's similar to Justin, which he isn't." "You know... I mean... There are other ways they're similar," Tom argued back. "The way you fight with Sam, the back and forth insults, it's similar to the way you fight with Justin. Then the way you go from that to actually being nice to each other. I'm telling you, it's similar." "Wha..." "And you know that Freud thing," Tom interrupted before Joe could put in a word. "You're attracted to someone that resembles your father or mother. Justin is basically your father. So..." "You keep making things up," Joe said, dismissing Tom. "I'm just saying." "Yeah. Whatever," Joe snorted dismissively. He rolled aside, down from Tom's chest and back to resting his head on Tom's arm. He faced away and urged Tom to spoon him. He had always liked it, the protection Tom's large and strong physique gave. It was like having a lover-bodyguard that was part Care Bear and part fortress. "So are you still trying to get me to date him?" "I'm not, Joey. I was never," Tom said defensively. "Just like I never try to get you to date him." Joe laughed. Tom too. "It's just that..." Tom paused, trying to find a way that would best convey his intention with words that would alarm Joe the least. He found not a way and not a word. "You seemed happy with him and he seemed happy with you. That's all." "Are you not happy with me?" Joe asked. "Of course I am." "By that logic, we should be together again, right? Your argument is flawed, Tommy." "Yeah, you're right." Tom sighed, giving up on arguing with his ex. Joe clutched the strong hand on his chest, as though he was trying to trap it before it fled. There were doubts in their hearts; Joe knew one was in him and he could sense that there were also one in Tom. "What is this really about?" he asked. "It's nothing," Tom replied. "Tommy," Joe said as gently as he could. He had not enjoyed the warmth that only Tom can give for long enough, but he had to shift around so that he could face the distraught man. Caring about someone is tiring enough, but it gets difficult when you can't tell what that person is feeling. Joe did not have that special sensing skill that everybody else seemed to have so he had to compensate it by asking direct questions and hold on to a fleeting hope that the person would answer truthfully. No other way. "Tell me what's wrong," Joe requested. Tom kissed Joseph, once on his lips and once on his shoulder. He had to say it eventually, there's no avoiding it. "In the back of my mind I always see you as a one-man... man. I never see you like this, switching between two guys, for sex nonetheless. You may say that this is amazing for you, but I always imagine you don't actually enjoy this. Plus, like I said, you and Sam is like you and Justin. I'm sure you like hanging out with him because it reminds you of home; of Justin. You always seem so happy around him. That's my concern, Joey. I love you and I only want you to be happy." "You love me? Like a brother or like a lover?" Joe asked, having narrowed down his target to only one part of Tom's statement. Tom sighs. "Both, I guess. I'll never stop seeing you as my brother. Having said that, we also loved each other before I screwed up. I can't deny I still have that feeling towards you, but at this point I can't expect for us to be together again. I only wish for your happiness, that's all. And you're happy with him." Joe sat up. All the desire to be engulfed in the power of Tom's cuddling prowess has vanished as it was replaced with the desire to comfort Tom instead. That man was distressed, so much so that even Joe could tell. Joe brought his hand to Tom's nearly shredded stomach, rubbing the beginning of a six-pack abs under the healthy covering of treasure trail. "Big guy," Joe called with a name he used to use. He couldn't continue, he didn't know how to. "Joey." Tom didn't have a cutesy pet name for Joe to counter it with. "Do you want us to get back together?" "Not necessarily, but it would be nice," Tom answered. "Not necessarily as in I should date Sam?" "Yeah." There was that big pause again. "How long have you been wanting us to get back together?" Joe asked. "I never wanted us to break up." "Okay," Joe said with his signature measured voice. "I know you used to joke about this but when was the first time you actually wanted me to date Sam?" "Since the four of us had that hangover breakfast, I guess." "Is this what you've been talking about with Sam when you guys hang out?" "Well, we mostly talk about football and basketball," Tom said, joking. Thankfully Joe laughed along. At least the tense atmosphere was diffused effectively. Joe fell back into Tom, setting his head to nuzzle on Tom's still sweaty neck. His grip around the big man's chest was tighter than he intended; more conveying his urge to comfort Tom than actually comforting Tom. He then lie on the bed, resting his head on an actual pillow rather than Tom's meaty arm. He then silently instructed Tom to lie on top of him. It was their position when Joe felt like a caregiver. "Big guy," Joe called with that name again. He wrapped his arms around the head that was on his chest. His head leaned down low enough to bless the top of said head with soft kisses. "Yeah?" "First of all, I have to admit that this is somewhat a confusing territory to me. You see, I still love you too, like a brother and like a lover. But I don't know if I'm still in love with you, you know, like madly in love with you the way I was at first. I still haven't given myself the chance to feel it out. All I know is it isn't the same now. I mean, I can even sleep with you AND Sam. But I love you. I love you enough to want to see you happy; just like you do to me," Joe explained. "The thing is I never know if you're happy or not. I can never tell, so you have to tell me. Now I can tell that you're unhappy and it pains me to see you like this." "I'm sorry," Tom said. "You're adorable when you're vulnerable like this." Joe laughed. The apology was unnecessary. The weak and defeated way it was said, especially by a man as big and menacing as Tom, was enough to tickle Joe's heart. "Thank you." Tom smiled. "Okay, second. I really don't know what to do now," Joe said matter-of-factly. "I mean, you want me to be with Sam but you not so secretly want us to get back together. I, on the other hand, love you but I haven't figure out if I'm still in love with you. And Sam... I don't know what he thinks about all this. It all seems messy now, I need to arrange things in my mind first." "Okay," Tom said, still as weak as before. "Do you know how Sam thinks about all this?" Joe asked. "You better ask him yourself. I don't want to say anything on his behalf." "Fair enough." With that they mutually halted the conversation for a while. Tom stayed there, his massive body pinning Joe down on the bed. It was not heavy for Joe at all; it was familiar and right. There hadn't been many instances where that happened, where Joe give Tom the compassion of touch. Tom was the one who had things figured out and Joe was the one troubled. But they are human after all. Tom had his weakness surfacing from time to time, and Joe was stronger in those moments. Joe was strong by the expression of soft touches. One hand was still stroking Tom's almost blonde short hair while the other traced the central axis of the ever muscular back. Kisses did not stop plaguing Tom's forehead. Tom clutched Joe's shoulders from under the man. His mouth sporadically kissed Joe's sexy pecs. It was all familiar and right. "Your dick is poking my ass," Joe observed. "Sorry," Tom said as he laughed in nervousness. "I know it's not the time but this feels so good." "Ready for round two?" The confidence in Joe's voice made Tom fluster. "Joey, I... um... you don't mind?" Tom asked. "I don't." "Is it okay if I bottom this time?" "Of course, big guy." *** "What's the matter?" Sam asked. Joe had asked for a meeting, two days since they had sex, one day after he was with Tom. This didn't seem like a call for pleasure. Plus, Joe did specify that it wasn't sex that he was after. "We need to talk..." Joe said, which he corrected immediately after. "I need to talk." "Sure, take a seat. Water?" "No, thanks. Let's just talk." "Okay," Sam responded. Joe seemed distressed in his own mind, Sam could tell. He has a tell. Joe's eyebrows would always scrunching like other people would have if they were angry. He would always go to the point, no hospitality accepted. He would also stay away from touch, and Joe took a seat far from where Sam was. Plus, Joe did specify that he was having trouble. "It's about our arrangement, all three of us?" Joe started. "What? You want to stop?" "I don't know." Joe looked up from the coffee table to Sam's eyes. "I talked to Tom last night." "Oh," was all Sam could say. He nodded in understanding that what he foresaw came true. "He told you everything?" "Yeah," Joe said. "Maybe. I don't know." "You don't know?" "He always tells me what's on his mind. I don't think he does that anymore, given the situation. Last night he told me things which I know he's been keeping from me for a while. So I don't know if he's still keeping stuff from me." "What didn't he keep from you?" Sam knew very well that to get things out of Joe, he had to follow wherever Joe was going. He couldn't interrupt or swerve away. Joe would stop. One year was enough to learn about the man that well. "You know how I always pushing for the two of you to date?" Sam nodded. "He's been doing the same thing, but with me and you." "Okay," Sam said, not knowing here Joe were going with this and not knowing what to feel about it. "He also told me that it would be "nice" if I was to end up with him instead." "I see." "And he told me that he still loves me. And I told him that I still love him even though I don't know if I'm still in love with him." Sam only nodded. "So?" Joe asked. "Hmm?" Sam responded. "So, what do you think?" "What do you mean what do I think?" "I don't have a fucking clue what I mean with 'what do you think.' I don't know anything at all. This is wrecking my brain." Joe finally gave in to his frustration. All the possibilities and impossibilities and thoughts and emotions; everything was too confusing to him. "Hey, it's okay." "No, it's not okay!" Joe almost shouted. He didn't understand why anyone would use that expression to a frustrated person. Obviously nothing was okay, hence the frustration. Sam also didn't understand why he said that to Joe. He know that those words mean nothing especially in that specific situation. It set Joe off, now Sam had to do damage control. "Joe, come here." Joe looked back like Sam was a fool. "Just come here," Sam commanded. Joe surrendered. Sam knew that the only way Joe would come down was by giving him the one thing that Joe would avoid at times like these: touch. Sam had to hug that guy, or hold his hand, or at the very least put his hand on Joe's knee. Surprisingly, Joe fell into Sam's chest like he demanded to be embraced. "I don't know what to do," Joe said. "You don't have to figure it out now." "And lose sleep?" Joe whined. "I talked to Amy and Henry last month. They pretty much warned me about this; about a big chance that Tom still having feelings for me. I just didn't know that I still have feelings for him too. Now I know." "So what's the problem?" "So many." "The 'in love' part?" Sam asked. "That's one of it." "That's just the way love goes isn't it? You can't rely on the spark forever. That's just infatuation. Do you think successful married couples feel that spark every single day? You said that you still love him. I think that's the real deal. That's what you should rely on. Sparks, you can make them. Love, you can't." Joe just stayed there, basking in the warmth of Sam's chest and words. He purred involuntarily and embarrassed by it. Embarrassed because he purred and because Sam might think he was not listening. "You're wise," Joe said to indicate that he listened, also to genuinely praise Sam. "I'm not always a whore, you know." Both of them had a little laugh at that. "That's one of the problems, what are the others?" "I'm a little scared." "Of?" "The possibility that the relationship would end again." "Are you afraid to find him naked with another man again?" Sam joked. He had to, especially after Joe told him to. "Yeah," Joe chuckled. "That's not all, though. I'm just afraid that it would end at all, good or bad. I felt horrible when we broke up, and not just the anger. It's the loneliness. I couldn't handle it. I thought I would be okay, that I would be tough enough to handle it. I wasn't. I got used to having him around and then he was gone. I literally lost a companion; someone who was always on my side, loving me and stuff. I don't like feeling that lonely." Sam could not stop himself from clutching Joseph tighter into him. The kid may be tough, having through such harrowing experience, but it still gotten into him. Over the year Sam got to know Joe more and more, and Joe had shed the wall off him, brick by brick. Now Joe was a little less afraid to be more vulnerable around people. When he did become vulnerable, it was somehow heart- breaking. The tough kid was tough for a reason. "I'm used to this, now," Joe continued. "I'm not attached to anyone. I'm not dependant. We all just have sex, we're all still friends, and that's the extent of it. I know our arrangement seems complicated from the outside, but I think it's very simple. I don't have to expect any of you to give yourselves to me and I don't have to do give myself either. I can keep my feelings separate from all this, and we're all fine. "But letting myself to do that again, to love again... it's scary." Sam let the speech marinate for a bit. He knew exactly what to say next, but he had to hold the urge to express it. Getting Joseph to calm down was the more pressing matter. His cheeks rubbing the top of Joe's head and pats on the back seemed to do the trick. He could feel Joe loosened his grip around Sam's body. Also, Joe had started to purr again. "Joseph," Sam said in his gentlest, kindest voice. "You already love him." "I know," Joe sighed. On his chest Sam could feel Joe smiling. "I know you're worried about millions of stuff, but there's nothing you can do. You can only do it. Take it one step at the time. If you're still doubtful, take it slow. When you're more certain, go all out. You guys already love each other, you will do the right things to keep it that way." Joe rose from the oh-so-comfortable chest and faced the man who owned it. He gave him a smile. And even if it was the most counterintuitive thing to do, Joe kissed Sam on the lips; long, tender, and loving. "Thank you," he said. Sam nodded. "So everything's alright now?" "Yeah." Joe, too, smiled. "Well, there's still one thing." "What is it?" "You." "Me?" "Yeah. What about you?" Sam could only repeat whatever Joe said at this point. "What about me?" "I'm basically ending our little thin so I could start things over with Tom. Are you okay with that?" Joe asked. "I'm the one who convinced you to go for it and you're asking me if I'm okay with that?" Joe laughed. "I know, I know. Stupid question." Seeing Joe smiling like this, especially after a shock of confusion he was having earlier, lifted his spirit. It was unexpected how far and also weird their relationship had gone. Sam didn't think that he would be this close to Joe that day when he saw Joe moving in, or even that night when he first approached Joe. From strangers to neighbours, to friends, to unrequited love, to friends again, to antagonistic, to fuck buddies who emotionally supports each other. It had been long and weird indeed. The discussions after was much, much lighter. They played a game for a while, while talking about geeky stuff they both loved. Of course, whatever the object in question is, Joe more often saw it from design standpoint while Sam was giving technical arguments. They agreed with each other most of the time. Both of them were not fanboys; they were both neutral. As much fun as they had, they both had to say goodbye eventually. The night ended for them both. "I should've called Tom," said the fretting Joe. "You tell it to him in person tomorrow, that's more personal." "You're right," Joe said. "Of course you're right. You're so old, you have to be wise." "Asshole!" "Which you loved to fuck," Joe quipped. Sam laughed. "That's true." Joe waited for the laughter to die to say the words he wanted to say. "Thank you, Sam." "No problem." "I know you said not to worry, but I can't help it. I'm worried, but also excited." "You'll be fine," Sam convinced once more. "Yeah, most probably." "No, not most probably. Absolutely." Joe took a leap forward and hugged Sam, again. "Thank you," he said, again. "Now go," Sam ordered. Joe let go and nodded. "Just remember, you already love him." Joe smiled, and nodded, waved goodbye, and sprinted towards the stairs. Sam closed his door and locked it. "And you've never loved me," he said to himself as he sighed. ___ This has been a quick one. Hope you enjoy it! Email: robxglass@gmail.com) Blog: http://xglass.tumblr.com Other story: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/relationships/marc-and-luke/ Cheers!