Date: Mon, 9 Feb 2015 21:37:06 +0700
From: Robert Glass <robxglass@gmail.com>
Subject: The Virgin Joseph part 33

All right reserved. Any unauthorized use is prohibited. This is a
fiction. Any resemblance to people and/or events is coincidental. If
reading this deemed illegal to you, I implore you to stop. If it offends
you, please do not read on.

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PART 33


"How do you know all that, Joey?" Tom asked in the afterglow of an
earthshattering orgasm.

"Know what?"

"Everything. That I would like it like everything you just did."

"Like what?" Now it was obvious that Joe was teasing.

"You're not gonna stop until I say it, are you?" Tom's massive torso became
Joe's bed as he hopped onto it. Joe gave the man a smug smile and an
overenthusiastic nod. Seeing that Tom relented, Joe lie his head on his
favourite pillow. "That I get off on, you know, fucking your mouth hard
like that.  And... talk dirty... that dirty."

"First of all, you're welcome." Tom gave a big eye roll to that
response. "Second, I just connect the dots. I know you've been holding back
all your life because of your size, and I know you love blowjobs. Sometimes
I can feel you trying so hard not to buck your hips when I suck you off, so
there's that. Thank God I have that dildo to train with."

"Thank You, God." Tom laughed at his own action. "And the dirty talk?"

"That was just an experiment. The last porn we watched together was like
that, and you blew a huge load. So I thought maybe we can try it."

"That's a good guess."

Suddenly Joe shifted. He planted his hands on the bed right next to Tom's
armpits and he propped himself up. The look on his face said something. It
said that Joe had a dirty plan brewing in his dirty mind. That accusation
turned out to be not far from the truth. "I'm your little slut, aren't I?"
Joe said as he kept on grinding Tom's still hard cock with his stomach. He
soon continued to nibble and lick and bite Tom's hard nipple.

"Stop that," Tom whined, giggled.

"What? You're still hard."

Tom hooked his arms under Joe's and gave his boyfriend a tight bear hug,
both to stop him from giving further stimulation and because the man was
just so fucking adorable. He pulled Joe up so that they could see each
other face to face. It is essential for kissing after all, especially for
one that says, 'I don't want this to ever end;' the one that would start at
staring deep into each other's eyes, followed by gentle pecks, then quick
lip locks like when one would do to the top of an ice cream swirl, then a
genuine kiss, then a tongue fight that was coloured by low moans, and then
slobbering into each other's mouth like they were savouring on a tropical
fruit. It ended, of course, but not after a few minutes. It ended with a
simultaneous 'I love you.'

"You're such a horn dog." Tom said once he could distinctly feel Joe's
renewed erection on his.

"You're the one with a dick that doesn't go down. I'm just trying to get my
rocks off," Joe said. He smiled again and they kissed again. "The thought
of being with you, pleasing you, does that to me.  Your kissing skills
doesn't hurt either."

"Just put it in me, babe."

"Nah, you need a break," Joe said. "You're insatiable, you know that? I
mean, you basically feed me your load right down my stomach and now you
already want me to fuck you.

"You didn't come. I just want you to get your release."

"No, no. Don't blame it on me, Tommy. I'm talking about the fact that you
once went five times a night. And that time at Thanksgiving. Babe, you're
crazy."

"Hey, it was just that one... two times!" Tom protested, still smiling in
all the fun.

"And the one who would send dick pics before, during, and after
masturbations when we don't get to sleep together," Joe continued.

"Yeah? Well you always ask for seconds, ten minutes after we have sex."

"And who's the one that always say yes?"

"Good point." Tom laughed. "I just can't help it. I'm a horn dog."

"Damn right you are."

"Especially around you," Tom added. "You're just so hot."

"I am?" Joe said with a tinge of cockiness. A couple of years ago, Joe
would never have shown such confidence. He didn't have a reason to. No one
had ever hit on him at the time. And when he managed to muster the courage
to go on and make the first move, he would always get rejected. He know he
came off as quiet and angry to a lot of people, so he tried to be just the
opposite of that, loud and cheerful. No one bought it. Then he moderate it,
being talkative and mildly fun, still didn't attract anyone. He gave up.

Thank God for Tom.

"You are. You have no idea how much you turn me on," Tom said.

"How so?" Joe slowly lied down to rest on Tom's hairy, hefty chest. It was
the comfiest pillow to him.

"Let me see," Tom said to initiate a pause. There were too many examples to
choose. "It's the simple things, actually. I like the way you casually
laugh when we talk; that turns me on. Or when you simply smile, I like
that. Sometimes watching you getting so focused at work turns me on too."

"You're a horn dog with a hair trigger," Joe laughed.

"Now that turns me on."

In reaction to that, Joe started to grind his crotch on Tom's again. Tom
moaned in approval.

"Sometimes it's the obvious." Tom pulled Joe back up and propped him up so
that he could see his lover's face and his lover can't tease his cock too
much. "Sometimes it's just your bare chest, so subtle bur also seems so
powerful. Sometimes it's your forearms, or sometimes it's your upper arms.
A lot of the time it's your butt hidden inside your jeans. Most of the
times it's your bulge."

"My bulge isn't... substantial," Joe interrupted.

"Yeah, but I know what's inside and I know what it can do. It can do some
substantial things," Tom said. Joe laughed. They're verging on talking
dirty but Joe found it romantic and sweet. "But every time... it's just
you. I always wonder why a guy as smart as you would want to be with an
idiot like me. Why a guy as handsome as you are would fall in love with a
plain boy that I am."

"Wait..." Joe said. That was very confusing. "I'm handsome and you're
plain?"

"Yeah. Alice thought you were cute. Amy did. Nick did. I thought you were
so handsome even before I realised that I was bi."

"Okay, okay, I heard it all before." Joe actually did hear that before. Tom
would always mention it when Joe was in one of those rare moments where he
showed his thickly veiled insecurity. What surprised him was the fact that
Tom was just insecure as he was. Moreover, Joe was pretty sure that Tom's
insecurity was baseless. "But in which parallel universe are you plain?"

"Never mind. I was just... I was..." Tom couldn't complete his sentence,
tongue tied and embarrassed.

"Tommy," Joe said gently. "How long have you been feeling this way?"

"Joey..."

Tom's attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere was futile; no wonder,
since it was half hearted.  "Tommy. Just tell me."

"For a long time. Even before I met you. I didn't even think I have a
chance on you. I mean..."

"You do remember I told you that I liked you even before you know you were
bi, right?"

"I know," Tom answered. He left it at that and he left the silence
linger. He didn't know how to continue. "I was chubby. And pale. And I look
like any other white guy out there."

"A scruffy straight white guy is every gay guy's secret crush, in case you
didn't know."

Tom had to let out a chuckle to that, both of amusement and of nervousness.

Joe was not one to freely pour praises, but he never failed to let his
boyfriend know that he is loved.  It was surprising for Joe to hear, to
find out. Tom did let his defences crumble once before, when Garry was sick
and he felt like he was being a horrible brother. That one, however, was
actually triggered by his brother being sick and he himself was rather
overworked for the week. This one seemed to come out of nowhere.

"What happened, Tommy?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened, really," Tom said. "It just slipped out of my
mouth, that's all."

"Tommy, tell me." It was not an order nor a plea; it was a request,
delivered in a voice so soft and a tone so tender that it rivalled
Tom's. It came out of a place of compassion and care. It was Joe asking his
lover to trust him.

With heavy heart Joe let go of the warmth Tom offered. He lied beside him
only to order his lover to lie on top of him. Tom stopped short before rest
his weight on Joe, he instead propped himself on his elbows over Joe so
that he can see the man's loving eyes.

Their eyes gazed each other, pouring one another with loving looks,
admiring the other's beauty, curbing the desire to kiss so that they can
enjoy the view longer. Joe reached up to touch Tom's growing beard. Soon
those hands moved, one marvelled at the man's enlarged shoulder, the other
began to worship Tom's bicep and tricep. He ultimately beckoned the man to
lie down on his torso.  The thought of being the one who got to take care
of this very strong man overpower his desire for everything else. Sure, Tom
was humongous, Joe was tiny, and having the humongous guy on top of the
tiny guy seemed illogical, but they fit that way. Tom's arms fell on his
sides but could be readily available to hold Joe's shoulders. Tom's rock
hard pecs filled the nook that was Joe's soft belly.  Tom's head lying on
Joe's beating heart, the perfect place for Joe to reach for a kiss or a
head scratch. Once covered in blanket, the warmth was complete. It was
right, it felt right. They fit that way.

"I like this," Joe said.

"What's this?"

"This. You, telling me about your insecurities, be vulnerable, and stuff. I
like this. I LOVE this," Joe admitted.

"I don't do it a lot, do I?"

"You don't. It's so rare, but whenever you do it, it always breaks my
heart."

"Sorry," Tom said, weak and apologetic.

"Don't be, please. In fact, I want you to do it more often, all the time if
possible."

"I can't do it ALL the time."

"Yes you can." Joe held Tom's head in his arms, almost hugging him. He
subconsciously wanted Tom to be as close to his heart as possible. He
wanted Tom to be there and not let go. "I told you the last time we did
this: you have to let people take care of you. I know you're strong, a
perfect big brother, and all that shit. I know, and I love that about
you. But you sacrifice yourself in doing so. You hold everything in just so
we don't have to worry about you. I didn't even know you've been feeling
unattractive all this time, and it kind of hurts me that you don't feel
like you can tell me all that."

"I'm sorry, babe. I just thought it's kind of stupid. That's why I never
told you."

"It's not and you're making an excuse. I feel unattractive all the time, do
you think I'm stupid?"

Tom went speechless. Joe had made his point across, the ever concise and
precise man that he was.  Now Tom had no choice but to tell Joe the truth.

"Where do I start?" Tom sighed, then paused, then he clutched Joe tighter
as though he feared that anything he was going to reveal would drive Joe
away. "You know I only had one serious relationship before you, right?" Tom
asked.

"Yeah. Casey. Just after college. Broke up after almost two years. On good
terms."

"Thanks for the recap." Tom laughed. "It's not about her, actually. It's
about how I only made it work with that one person. The other ones were
just either hook ups or at most, second dates."

Then Joe could feel the doubt inching in again. Joe hoped that Tom would
not back away now. He had started, it wasn't the best time to stop and
close the door on the conversation. He just wanted to hear Tom out, to be
the shoulder that Tom deem to be worthy to carry his load with. Certainly
it was an overdramatic thought, because Tom opened his mouth again.

"I didn't know what was wrong with me. Sure, I didn't hope for hook-ups to
progress into something more. But the dates. It never went through. Just
one or two dates. I asked Alice what was wrong with me. But she's a friend,
she didn't see anything wrong with me. She just thought maybe I need to
change the way I approach women on dates. Maybe. Just maybe, because she
wasn't really sure what's wrong either.

"One day, after yet another bad second date with someone whose name I don't
even remember, I asked why she thought it was bad. Obviously she said I was
not her type. Then I asked what she meant by that. She had two simple
answers: that I wasn't hot enough and that I was boring.

"That stuck with me. I know I'm not the most interesting guy out there but
boring? Should I take up skydiving, or longboarding, or travelling to
countries I've never even heard of to be not boring? I didn't know how to
fix that. So I focus on the other answer, and try to be hotter. I was
fatter than I was now, or even when we first met, so I started to work out
again and lose some weight. You know what? It still didn't work. I was
either hot but boring, interesting but not hot enough, or worse, still not
hot enough to compensate for how boring I was.

"Then I stopped dating. Then you happened."

"What about me?" Joe asked when he once again sensed doubt.

"With you everything was different. Well, finding out I also like men is a
bit disorienting. I didn't know the rules and stuff. I didn't even know if
I was certain that I was attracted to you or if just liked you as a
person. Then the shower happened. I saw you naked. Even before that I
recognise how handsome you are, like out of my league handsome, but then I
saw you naked. I know you don't really like your body, but when I saw you
back then, I had to learn how to breathe again. It was just so
perfect. Everything. Your round shoulders, your toned arms, your smooth
back, your amazing ass, your lean legs. I saw your chest when you were
undressing and I wanted to bury my face in it. Thank God I didn't see your
dick back then because I don't know how it would affect me.

"At that moment I looked at myself and all I saw was flab everywhere. On my
chest, my belly, under my arms, in my ass... everywhere. I had just started
to hit the gym again that time, but that was the moment I knew I had to
work harder just so you could see me the way I wanted you to see me.

"I remember this vividly. When I drove you home from that game you told me
that you had a crush on me, and I was over the fucking moon. I couldn't
believe it. This man, this extremely smart, extremely hot, extremely
interesting, extremely brave man... this man that had me questioning my
sexuality, had a crush on me. And I thought I had a chance on this man. But
then you said that you were over it.

"And every day I saw you growing closer to Sam. I mean, he took care of you
when you were sick.  You even told me that you have a strange feeling
towards him that first Thanksgiving, and again on that Christmas party.

"It was a miracle that you said yes to me, really. I honestly don't know
what you saw in me. I do not have enough experience in making a
relationship work. I have absolutely zero experience in gay sex.  I'm a
pushover. I'm drunk all the time. I'm boring and you're too smart for
me. Don't get me wrong, I always have fun talking with you, but I never
thought that our talks were that exciting for you. Then we have Sam, an
intelligent guy, handsome, and you get along very well with him. And you
chose me."

"I did, yes." Joe was hesitant in replying Tom. He wasn't sure where Tom
was going with this. His words and plot jumbled seemingly aimlessly.

"I feel like..."

Sensing a doubt in his boyfriend bigger than his, Joe gave nudge. "Yes?"

"I feel like... I took you away from him," Tom said. "You could've had so
much more if I didn't... do anything. I've gotten in the way many, many
times. From the time I told you I love you, to that night you found us
naked on your bed, to last Christmas."

"That was last month, Tommy. And we're okay with that, aren't we?"

"But I still feel guilty about it. I took you away from him, always, in one
way or another. Everything I do just drove the two of you further apart
when you guys should've been together."

It was the most ridiculous theory that Tom has ever produced; at least to
Joe it was. There was no point in pointing that out, probably, especially
once Joe heard a slight sniffle from the man lying on his chest.

"Is that how you really feel, Tommy?" Joe asked tenderly.

"I'm sorry," Tom answered. "I love you, Joey, I love you so much, but
sometimes I think you would be happier if you're with him. We would still
be friends and you'd be happy with him. Now you lost a friend. I know how
much it hurts for you, and I hate it. The thought of making you unhappy is
killing me."

After what felt like months of silence in stroking Tom's hair and what
seemed like Tom's millionth sighs, Joe quietly prompted Tom to move up so
that his head can be next to Joe's. Joe's arms proved to be too short to
encircle Tom's back, but it didn't stop him from trying. Tom's sighs turned
into heaves, and heaves turned into muted sobs. Thus Tom's grip on Joe's
became as tight as Joe's.

Joe wanted to say the right thing to console his beloved, one that would
properly and effectively convey all there was to say to Tom. That Tom
shouldn't have thought that way; that Joe was at his happiest with Tom and
nobody else; that Joe was infinitely thankful that Tom trusted him enough
to share what he felt. Words that would also conveyed that Joe indeed loved
Tom.

"I love you," Joe said. Those were the right words. "You are the best thing
that have ever happened to me. Ever. Please remember that I love you,
always."

"I love you, too, Joey. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," said the man, sobbing.

"It's alright. It's alright." It broke his heart to see his man cry like
this, but it was infinitely better than seeing him bottle it up. "I think
it's sweet that you and Henry did that for me. I appreciate it. I really
do."

"But he was your best friend and I screwed it up for both of you."

He rubbed Tom's back more tenderly while holding him tighter. Finding it to
no avail, he grabbed his blanket and wiped the tear off Tom's face, kissing
his forehead all the while. This tears are a long time coming, there's no
point in trying to stop it. It needed to be let go.

"Baby." Joe had returned to rubbing Tom's back since the guy's cry had
subsided. "Baby, I still have you. You're both my boyfriend AND my best
friend. Sure, the fallout hurt a bit, but none of them is your fault. Don't
do that, okay?"

Tom did not answer, instead he slipped his hands between Joe's back and the
bed. He was trying to hold Joe closer and tighter, as though he was trying
to 'keep' Joe and never let go. Joe could even feel that meaning behind the
action. It was slightly harder to breath for Joe, but he didn't complain.
His boyfriend needed it, he would not reject it.

"Okay?" Joe asked again. He needed to hear Tom say it. The verbal
confirmation was the one that would make it an affirmation.

"Yeah, okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


___
Sorry I have been missing. Life has been busy.

Also, I'm still looking for an Australian editor. There's a story I'm
writing that is set in Australia with Australian characters and stuff. I
would appreciate it if any of the readers is willing to volunteer his time
and energy to help this lowly writer.

Cheers!

Email: robxglass@gmail.com)
Blog: http://xglass.tumblr.com
Other story: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/relationships/marc-and-luke/