Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:26:53 -0700
From: Pete McDonald <bajabudfan@hotmail.com>
Subject: TIME TO SEE-18-

TIME-TO-SEE-18

Now I'd seen the ad in the fliers they threw on the front lawn every week.
Some company is offering Astroturf for the home at a remarkably low price,
and that included installation too.

I phoned first thing that morning, and the company rep said that he'd
come out to the house later that same morning to look at the area that
might be covered with Astroturf, to determine the prep work that would
have to be done, and then to suggest a schedule for installation.

You see, I figured if I'm going to be dragged into this dog proposition, I
was going to be in maximum self-preservation mode.  Astroturf in the
backyard would make dog ownership and poop cleaning ever so much more
tolerable, I speculated. No holes in the lawn, no dead spots from pee,
no dirt and dust from burying bones... just plain civilized dogs, I
pictured...

By eleven I'd agreed to tractor and disks in the backyard at one p.m.,
sprinkler and roller at two, and tomorrow afternoon after lunch, the
whole thing would be done... The entire backyard would be an Astroturf
wonderland, just perfect for canines and boys alike.

I left the side yard in it's natural state hoping someday to plant a
vegetable garden and flowers, depending on my nervous system and my
pocketbook... I love both, and with Hugo around, maybe he'd want to join
me. Things done with someone else is always more fun and more fulfilling
than things done in solitude.

*****

I was eating a late lunch after the sprinkler and roller left when the
doorbell rang, something that had been highly unlikely in the past: a
visitor? for me?

When I opened the door I found Howard standing there with a large brown
envelop in his hand.

"Hey, Howard, come in, come in... it's good to see you," I said as I
stepped back and opened the front door as wide as I could open it.

Howard was smiling and nodding as usual.  "Thank you, Kevin," he said as he
entered the living room.

He turned toward me as he seated himself on the sofa and said, "Kevin, I'm
really sorry that I missed you in the hospital.  I got so tied up with my
test grading and grad student supervision that I just didn't get down to
the administration offices to ask for your Sabbatical paperwork."

"Oh, Howard, don't worry about it," I said.

"Well, I told them what you'd just gone through and that you expected to
need the rest of the semester to convalesce.  They were really nice about
it and gave me the papers you will have to fill out and get back to them
asap, along with written instructions that they told me you would find
self-explanatory."

"Howard, you DID get everything done. This is really a huge help," I
commented as I opened the envelope.

"I sure hope so, but at least you'll get the ball rolling with this stuff."

I took the envelope, "Gosh, Howard.  I am pretty much ambulatory, even
though I do have to watch that I don't over-do a day's business.  I guess I
could have sent for the papers myself. I feel really bad that you had to do
this for me..."

"Kevin! Don't even think about that.  It was no problem.  I just find that
I have a one-track mind when it comes to my academic work... I guess it's
an occupational hazard, at least that's what my wife tells me..."

Then Howard looked across the room and out a large plate glass window at
the machinery rumbling out in my yard.  "Having some construction done?"
Howard asked?

"Oh, no. Not really.  Just having the backyard prepped for Astroturf
installation," I said.

"No kidding?  That's interesting.  What's going on? You planning to start
practicing soccer in your old age?" Howard asked acknowledging that my
undertaking was a little out of character.

"No, no, nothing like that; Howard, you wouldn't believe all the things
that have happened to me since I had to go into the hospital.  I'll spare
you the details right now-- maybe later if you're interested-- but suffice
it to say that I'm getting the Astroturf because I'm going to have a dog
living here-- maybe two."

"Well, Kevin, that's not so unusual. Lot's of people have dogs, and some
are remarkably committed to the pet's well-being and happiness.  So you're
getting a dog; so what's so unusual about that?" Howard asked.

"Yeah! But I'm also getting an 11-year old and a 12-year old to go with the
dog!" I confessed.

"Oh, my!" Howard exclaimed, "Oh, my..." again...

"Yeah! But actually I'm really looking forward to the entire circus that'll
be moving in Saturday...," I said.

"Uh? Well, if YOU are okay with it, who else matters?" Howard commented.

"That's true, Howard, but I'm also a little ashamed of how irresponsible it
could look from the outside. I mean, I really have considered this very,
very carefully.  I don't want to live my life alone, and, well, Howard, I
won't be having any natural born children of my own-- you might have
guessed already that I'm gay-- so this is all I'll be able to enjoy.  But
I'm so happy about it I feel like there must be something wrong with it.
You know, like something that tastes so good you figure it must be bad for
you to eat."

"Well, Kevin, I think it sounds wonderful.  You'll make a great dad..."
Howard replied.

"I won't be the only dad on the scene, Howard.  I'll be sharing the role
with someone I met in the hospital while I was recovering, Hugo
Ramirez. He'll be moving in also.  It could prove to be a shock to my
system, I guess..." I said revealing much, much more than I felt
comfortable with, even though it was only Howard I was telling.

"Well, Kevin, congratulations are in order too.  You rascal.  Goodness you
work fast: Instant family in 4 weeks. It took me a year to get up the nerve
to propose, and we still don't have kids.  You are either super courageous
or super insane.  I guess we'll both find out eventually which it is,"
Howard said with a laugh-- again, a reaction that was decidedly NOT from
the Howard I knew.  But he didn't seem judgmental, just amused...

"I'll keep you informed about whether I'm committed to an Institution for
the Unstable," I joked.

Howard stood, "Really I've got to be going.  But I would like to come back
when you've got the Astroturf installed.  I just might consider the same
for my place.  It would be a huge cost savings in water alone that I use
now to keep the grass alive. Let me know when I can come back to see it,"
Howard asked with genuine interest.

"Sure, Howard," I said as I accompanied him to the front door.

"But don't forget to take good care of yourself through all of this change
of course.  You don't need a relapse... That might be much more serious
than even the first event..." he advised again with the sincerity I came to
rely upon as totally Howard.

"Thanks, Howard.  You're so right!" I said.

The last flatbed was pulling away from the side of the house.  I was eager
to get to the backyard now to see what everything looked like.

*****

I was out back looking at the yard when my cell phone rang. Hugo had a
friend at work telephone to ask me if I could come to pick him up a
half-hour early. He wanted to go over to his old place and pick up the rest
of Jilder's and his things.

"Sure I'll be there about two-thirty," I said.  And I went back upstairs to
the office and filed out the paperwork that Howard just dropped off. The
boys would be using two of the bedrooms, but I didn't see why Hugo & I
couldn't continue to use the remaining room up there for our office... And
there would still be two more empty bedrooms for guests or whatever...

Well, there were other options, but there were also more pressing things to
be dealt with now.

*****

Time to pick up Hugo came quickly.  Over at his apartment, the two of us
loaded the last of his kitchen goods and the last of Jilder's imponderable
11-year-old's-things, and we slammed the back door to the SUV.  Actually, I
was a little surprised that moving all that stuff had been so easy.  I have
always hated to move; so I expected this one to be like all the others I'd
participated in: traumatic. But not so...  happily...

We clipped on our seat belts and sped off to see the boys...  When we
arrived at the hospital, I took Hugo's pad and began confessing: "Hugo, I
did something this morning that you'll probably think is a little crazy,
but really I think after a while it will make sense."

"What are you talking about, Hun?" Hugo wrote.

"Well--" (I DID feel a little silly buying Astroturf, of all things, but
now committed, I HAD to tell Hugo, whether or not he ended up thinking I
was nuts.)

"This morning I called a company that installs Astroturf and had the
backyard prepped for a whole yard of Astroturf.  They'll install it first
thing in the morning," I wrote in one quick confession.

"ASTROTURF!?" was Hugo's one-word reply....

"yep" I wrote in pretty small letters...

"Look, Hugo, I figured that if we are going to get a dog (or dogs), life
would be so much easier if we didn't have to worry about the downside of
keeping animals: dirt, shit, torn-up yard, etc.  So I did it.  It was
surprisingly cheap, and it'll be there tomorrow.  We can take the boys dog
shopping on the weekend after they get out of the hospital.  Then they'll
have ALL of their responsibilities to learn at once... Am I nuts, Hugo?" I
asked...

"No, Hun... Just very, very optimistic." Hugo wrote with tact.

"Thank You." I wrote back.

"Okay," I jotted down next.  "How about we go inside now?"

"Yeah!" Hugo wrote and reached over to give me a kiss on the lips-- and he
groped my penis!

*****

The week was really rushing by.  Already Thursday, I could feel the world
closing in on me. Having Hugo move in was just no adjustment at all.  I
loved every trace he left: his clothes; his scent wafting from his clothes;
his left-over's in the frig; his pads and pens left everywhere, and his
toothbrush and shaving stuff scattered around the sink and mirror in the
bathroom. But I hadn't lived with kids in a very long time, and I WAS a kid
when it last happened; so I suppose that is no real qualification.  Now
directly into battle, with no basic training, I'd go...  in two days!

*****

When we arrived, both boys were in Jilder's bed again tonight.  "I think we
ought to be given a reduced rate if you two are sharing the same bed all
the time," I joked when we walked up...

"Hi! Kevin.  Hi! Hugo."  And they both stopped peering at the same tiny
little video screen and leaned toward us to get hugs.

"Hi, guys," I said.  "How are you both feeling?"

"Fine."  "Fine."  Was all I heard.

"That won't do, guys..." I said.  "I want a detailed report on how that
steel bar in your chest is doing, or more exactly, how are YOU feeling with
the bar there?  Okay.  Spit it out, one at a time... YOU first, Jilder."

With some effort, I could tell, Jilder lay his PSP down on his lap to have
a conversation with me.  "I feel okay most of the time, but I can't get
comfortable when I sleep.  I can't turn on my side, like I used to do. I'm
still getting pretty tired every day, like in the middle of the day, and I
need to take a nap...  I don't WANT TO take a nap, I just fall asleep when
I get tired," he complained


But Jilder was getting some kind of satisfaction from confiding the details
of his day in the hospital, because he didn't appear to skip anything: "The
nurse gives me one pain pill in the morning when I wake up, but I don't
think I'm in much pain, because even though I can't get comfortable when I
sleep, I'm not really in pain.  It's just really, really
uncomfortable.... Uh?"

And he thought some more, "And, uh. I get tired of being in bed all the
time.  I want to walk outside, but the nurse won't let me go.  She said
that I'll be leaving on Saturday and that I was not going to go out of her
sight for a moment until it was time for me to go home..."

I smiled at the self-preserving move the nurse was taking when it came to
Jilder's mobility.  I sure couldn't blame her one bit.  I was worried about
just the same kind of thoughtlessness when he goes home-- a new environment
that could spell disaster at every unexpected turn...

"Okay.  Nicky, now you. What's up?" I asked.

"I'm still really sore on my right side where the doctor pushed so hard on
me," Nicky explained.  He wasn't betraying self-pity, just giving me the
facts I'd ask for.

"And at night I'm pretty uncomfortable still.  I wake up a lot, and I like
it when the nurse will give me a pain pill because it puts me back to sleep
right away," Nicky explained.

The need for extra pain pills made me a little uncomfortable, although I
realized that we were a long way from a danger zone.  I'd absorbed Hugo's
vigilance for unexpected addiction with that pain medication.  All we could
do is just watch it very, very closely.

"Are you in bad pain in the day when you're awake, Nicky," I
asked. "Sometime," Nicky said.  "When I'm feeling pain I try to go to sleep
and that helps," Nicky explained.

"Are you in any pain right now," I asked.

"No, not now," Nicky said.

"Have you told Dr. Gilmer about when you are in pain?" I asked Nicky.

"Yes, sir." Nicky answered.  "He said that I may feel the pain for another
week or two, because of how much harder he had to push to install my
retainer.  He said that it would be alright to take a pain pill in the day
if it gets really bad.  Otherwise, Dr. Gilmer said I should use one pill at
night and one in the morning."

Nicky was quite complete and clear describing his physical condition.  I
felt that he would be inclined to watch out for himself far more carefully
than Jilder might.

Jilder tended to be a bit impulsive--- bright, but inclined to believe in
his own invincibility more enthusiastically than Nicky regarded his own.

"Well, good, boys.  I think we're definitely going to make it out of this
place on Saturday, if things don't take an unexpected turn for the
worse..." I said.

Hugo sat by quietly while I quizzed the boys.  When he thought I'd
finished, he turned to me, questioning me with his eyes, and offered me the
pad and pen.


*****

In about an hour Dr. Gilmer paid a surprise visit.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Dr. Gilmer said smiling and offering his hand to
each of us in turn.

"Good evening, Dr. Gilmer," I answered.

Hugo nodded his greeting and smiled back.

The doctor went on, "I'm glad I caught you both.  I wanted to speak with
you about the boys.  Basically I still think that they'll be ready to leave
hospital care on Saturday, but they BOTH still need to be kept quiet and
calm (a near impossibility, I realize, for two boys of their ages), but
nevertheless, you've GOT to make it happen," he said looking at both Hugo &
me.

At that point I felt that our responsibility had begun for real. There was
no mistaking Dr. Gilmer's clear injunction to keep order in our home, but
he continued with specifics.

"I think they're going to be in some significant discomfort for another two
weeks-- especially Nicky.  So we don't want any skateboarding, running up
and down stairs, pushing or shoving or horsing around.  It's really a major
concern for me right now. BOTH of them--and he emphasized both-- are
recovering quite nicely at the moment."


Dr. Gilmer didn't leave out anything.  "They do need pain medication before
bed, Nicky perhaps during his waking hours too.  But the pain medication
makes them drowsy and unable to feel normal; so we will want to give it up
after two weeks have passed, counting from the time they leave the
hospital."

"I'll want to see them every week after they leave the hospital, but we'll
probably be able to stop that after a month.  We'll just have to be
cautious and adjust our actions accordingly." And then he paused to
consider whether he needed to say more.

"But again, I repeat myself: it is imperative that these boys NOT injure
themselves..." And Dr. Gilmer turned to the boys, looking them both
directly in the eye, and said: "You DO understand that, don't you, boys???"

"Yes. sir."  "Yes. sir." came from each boy.

"Good. I'm holding you to that!" Dr. Gilmer told them.

Well, what more could he do.  He's made reality absolutely clear to each of
them. They must play a role in their own care. It will be good life
training for them.



*****

"Okay.  I'm tired this time," I wrote to Hugo.

Hugo stood and put his arm around my shoulder.

The boys were both still in Jilder's bed, but we were leaving even before
they would have to return to their separate beds for the night.  I gave
them both hugs and leaned over and told each one separately, repeating
myself again for each one of them quietly, "I love you, and I'm really
looking forward to you coming home on Saturday."

Hugo went to each with his bear hug and kiss on the forehead.  With some
difficulty he spoke, "I miss you both..." And they understood him and
kissed him back.

*****

We were driving home when we stopped for one of those particularly long
stop lights.  I took that opportunity to scribble quickly on Hugo's pad,
"Did you mail your letter today?"

"Yep!" was his quick reply.

I smiled and leaned over and gave him a kiss on whatever part of his head
happened to be closest.

When the light turned green for us, we sped off into the night returning to
our home that looked pretty welcoming to me at that point.  For some
reason, I was exhausted, yet I didn't feel as if I'd done all that much
today.  But, I suppose I had.

I noticed that I'd lost my balance twice during the day, which was a little
alarming to me.  Not that anyone around me would have noticed, but I knew,
and it concerned me.

I didn't tell Hugo, because I knew that there was nothing that he could do;
so why worry him.  I hadn't staggered the way I did when Hugo had to help
me to the bathroom in the hospital, but I think my brain repairs were in
need of the respite of a good night's sleep-- sleep is known to be
essential for one's good health; just so for one's healthy healing.

And I had every reason in the world to want to heal. I had a wonderful
mate, two terrific kids, "X" number of dogs of indeterminate description,
and much good fortune for which to be grateful. What more can a man ask?

*****