Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2012 21:50:41 -0700
From: Pete McDonald <bajabudfan@hotmail.com>
Subject: TIME-TO-SEE-41-

Craig and I had been working most of the afternoon in the garage.  I had
wall-sized posters mounted on display boards that I'd built, and Craig
helped me by filling in some of the solid color regions in the panels.  I
could go back later to add the highlights in other colors and accent lines
to develop depth and expression in the figures.

I'd completed fourteen out of the sixteen panels, but these last two were
quite complicated in composition and detail, and both were really pains in
the butt to render.

Together Craig and I had been obsessed with this project ever since we'd
gotten the acceptance for our Proposal from the Children's Books Publishers
two months ago. I could hardly believe that in just a matter of two weeks
more, we'd be installing everything in the main ballroom of the San Diego
Marriott. We thought we would need the ballroom for at least two days in
advance of the banquet, to get everything in place and to have all the
details just right.

The color matches between floral catalogs and my panels were perfect, which
hopefully meant that Craig's work on the floral accents would bring
everything to life.  Some of the flowers painted on the panels were
actually overlaid with live flowers, which brought everything to life in a
fashion not too different from floats in the Rose Parade. We were both
really happy with the outcome.

*****

Ever since I left the hospital--which by this point was over two months
ago--Jake had been dropping by the house twice a day to give my new cells
their daily injections: "The Grow Command", we jokingly called it.  I was
expecting him later that afternoon.

"Listen, Craig," I said.  "Why don't you check with Jake to see whether the
two of you would be interested in having supper with us here this
evening. You don't want to have to go home and cook after staying late
working with me, and Kevin and the boys would be delighted for you to stay.
What do you say?" I asked.

"Oh, goodness.  That's really nice of you, Hugo, but don't you think maybe
you ought to check with Kevin before you go volunteering him to throw a
dinner party for six!" Craig said, answering my question with his question.

"Well, if it would make you feel any better...," I said, and I walked over
to the kitchen door, opened it and yelled inside, "Hey, Kev! You think we
could invite Craig and Jake for supper tonight?"

"Sure, Babe... If you think they wouldn't be turned off by a spread of
chicken tacos, black beans, rice with tomato sauce, and a ton of fresh
veggies to keep their bowels regular...," Kevin called back...

I turned to Craig with a straight face and said, "Could you use some fresh
veggies to help you poop?"

Craig smiled and answered, "I've been trying to loosen Jake up
recently... Kev's supper sounds perfect. Thanks a ton, Hugo."

I yelled back at Kevin... "OKay, Kev.  I'm invitin Craig now, and I'll
catch Jake when he comes by for my afternoon shots. Thanks, Hon..., love
you..."

I had no sooner gotten the words out of my mouth than the small garage door
to the outside opened and in rushed the boys. "Wham!" the door slammed
behind them immediately followed by both kids knocking over the rakes and
tumbling into some empty cardboard boxes Kevin and I had stored there.

"WHAT in the FUCK are you guys doing?" I said startled by their thundering
in.

"Hugo!," Jilder began, "The dogs are after us!  We're hiding from them..."

"You're playing Hide-n-Seek with the DOGS???" I asked thinking what new
dumb-ass game have they invented this time.

"Yeah! And they get so worked up when we ruffle their fur and then run away
when they come after us..." Jilder said.

"Well.  How would you like for some giant to come tussle up YOUR hair and
then run around driving you crazy???" I suggested.

"But, Hugo! They're so funny.  Look at them outside now--- they're jumping
up and down barking... Ha, ha, ha, ha," the boys laughed and ran over to
look out the window in the back door.

"You Knuckleheads!  GO BACK OUTSIDE and let the dogs have a fair chance at
you... You're being unfair... GO!" I said...

Laughing and shoving, the boys ran back out into the backyard with all four
dogs in hot pursuit, barking and prancing right on their heels.

"AND BE CAREFUL OF YOUR RETAINERS!!" I called after them... "WHAM!"

"Is this a special occasion, or is this just a regular day's
entertainment?" Craig asked.

"OHHHHhhh No!  It's nothing special.  Those kids just never run out of
original pranks for those poor dogs, but when they do run out of
dog-pranks, they begin people-pranks, that Kevin and I have the privelege
of receiving. Craig, you wouldn't BELIEVE the endless energy those two
expend," I said.

"Well, Hugo.  Jake and I think your family is wonderful.  We've talked
about how we'd like to have a family just like you and Kevin have," Craig
said.  "Jake is really more into the idea than I am, although I think it
would be nice eventually.  I'm thinking my business might just be taking
off, right now, and I'd like to put my effort there."

"I can't begin to tell you how much work it is, Craig.  For me, it's been
non-stop since I was 16 years old myself. But after I met Kevin, the whole
thing just grew and grew-- it happened so fast, and now I can't imagine
ever being without all four of us together.  I wouldn't EVER want it to be
any different either," I said.

"I can see that you love them all, and everybody seems to enjoy living with
everybody else.  It's just a pleasure to be around people who aren't
defensive and don't bicker and fight.  That's the absolute best most
attractive part of it for me, I will confess to you," Craig said.

"Don't think we are conflict free, Craig.  But none of us wants to hurt
anyone else in the family.  Things get ironed out pretty quickly," I said.

"Yep! I'd have guessed that," Craig said.

"One thing I'd suggest though is:" I said, "If you can plan anything, which
we didn't do AT ALL, maybe get the kids when they're almost babies. They'll
be lots fewer hang-ups to deal with.  For example, Nicky is super sensitive
to losing either Kev or I, given the awful experience he had with his
father dying as an alcoholic, leaving him with no one in the world."

"Jilder clings in a similar way, given he was left by our parents when he
was just 5 years old or so...  But most of all, Craig, you gotta love em
and want to help them more than anything else going on in your world.  And
THAT both Kevin and I do... THE BOYS are number one priority," I said.

"Humm?  Thanks for giving me your personal take on things, Hugo.  Maybe you
could speak with Jake too, if the opportunity ever presents itself. I think
he may not realize how completely selfless a family undertaking has to
be..."

"Hello!  Anybody home?" Jake's voice called from outside of the garage
door.

"We're in here, Jake," I called.  "Just a sec while I find the garage door
opener..."

Finally I started the door rumbling, clacking, and squeaking open...  On
the outside stood Jake, still dressed in his white nurse's uniform and
white shoes.  Jake was a really nice looking man.

"Hi," he said when he could see us.  He ducked his head a bit and walked
into the garage as the door was opening.  He went directly over to Craig
and gave him a peck on the lips.  "Hi, Hon."

"Hi, Jake.  What's up?" Craig said.

"Oh, nothing... Just the usual.  I gotta give this junkie his afternoon
fix..." Jake joked.

"Don't say that loud enough for the boys to hear." I said.  "They won't
understand and for sure they'll screw up somehow telling their teacher or
some policeman that their dad is a junky that has a man who comes every day
to give him a shot!  I KNOW THOSE BOYS! ANYTHING is possible..." I told
Jake...


"Oh, sure.  I can imagine how kids at that age get things screwed up.."
Jake said.

Laughing, Jake continued, "At their age I'd get everything all tangled up.
My parents used to be on my case all the time for what I said, and I had NO
IDEA that I was saying anything improper... I TRIED to be good... Uh? I
just didn't quite make the cut-- a lot!"

"YOU! A problem child?" I said.  "I can't possibly believe that..."

"NO.  Not a problem child maybe, just sort of a muddle-headed disaster
waiting to happen most of the time... My dad wanted me to be perfect and
fast and smart... I would over-sleep when he had asked me to rake the
leaves on a Saturday morning... That irked him no end.  Then I had to learn
the multiplication tables fast and do good in math for him.. Yeah!"

Then sounding a bit wistful and reflective Jake said, "But I realize now
that he was really a good father.  He cared about me, even if he didn't
know how to act loving as much as I would have liked..."

"Well, Hon, that was your past.  It's a new world for you now kiddo!
Forget the past and notice that I love you now," Craig said planting a
little kiss on Jake's cheek.

"Humm! Okay.  I do forget sometime and think old memories are now. No point
in that!" Jake said putting his arm around Craig and squeezing him closer.


"Say, Hon..." Craig said to Jake, "Kev and Hugo and the boys have asked
whether we'd like to stay for supper tonight.  Do you have anything going,
or would it be okay with you?"

"My night's free.  Sounds great."

"Oh, that's terrific," I said. "I'll tell Kevin that we're on for a party
tonight.  Come on inside.  I'll let Kev know that you'll be able to stay,
and you can get my shots out of the way." I said.

Craig stayed behind closing the paint cans while Jake and I went on into
the kitchen.

"Kev. Jake and Craig will be able to stay for supper tonight.  You need
anything from the store?" I said to Kevin as we passed through the kitchen
on our way to the bedroom to get my shots.

"No, Babe.  I think we're fine.  We have tons of everything.  Just give me
about a half-hour to warm everything back up.  I cooked earlier this
afternoon. Oh... And when you are finished, can you go out into the back
yard and impose some civilization on those two nut-balls out there
tormenting the dogs... Oh, yeah! And we might feed the dogs early; so we
won't be interrupted later after we start eating..."

"Sure, Kev.  I may even let Jake do some of the honors to give him a little
practice in Child Care..." I smiled secretly as I planted that little
idea...

Jake and I went to the bedroom.

*****

"Can I sit next to Jake," Jilder said as he hovered around the stove
pestering Kevin just before we sat down for supper.

"Sure, Jilder.  I don't care... Just check with Jake," he replied.

"And I wanna sit next to Craig, maybe between them," Nicky said.

"Aw... I wanted to sit between them!" Jilder protested.

"Maybe we can both sit between them.  You can sit next to Jake and I can
sit next to Craig... You think?"  Nicky conferred with Jilder.

"Yeah! That'd be cool. Let's go talk to em," Jilder proposed as he took off
running to the family room where all the guys were talking.

But Nicky made it to the family room first, a torrent of words coming out
of him before he even got within hearing distance... However, he was
speaking to Hugo! "Dad, dad is it OK if Jilder and me sit between Jake and
Craig at the supper table? Do you mind?"

At that point Jilder hit the room with his hard sell, "Craig, Jake.  Me and
Nicky wanna sit between you two at supper tonight.  Can we? Can we? Do you
mind?"

I looked over at Jake and Craig and gave them a warning smile and a nod
with raised eyebrows that said, "Watch out! Here it comes..."

Then I actually reassured them, "Guys, if you don't want to be bothered
with the boys, we can always seat them on the ends of the table, but as you
can see, they're both about the "shit" to sit next to you... Suit yourself.
Just let me know how much protection you'll need from me and Kev."

Jake spoke first, "Why, Jilder, that would be terrific.  Then we could talk
and share stuff and all," which is just the sort of lingo Jilder would
connect with.

"Yeaaaah! Cool.  I'll go see where we can sit," and Jilder ran back toward
Kevin in the kitchen.

"Aww... I wanted to be between both of you.  I like sitting near you,"
Nicky said sounding like he was accepting a defeat that hadn't been visited
upon him.

Craig jumped in, "Oh, Nicky, I'd really like to sit next to you if you'd
let me, and we could let Jilder sit next to YOU and right next to Jake.
Then YOU BOTH would be between Jake and me!  That would really be neat,
don't you think?"

"Would you?" Nicky asked.

"Oh, I sure would, Nicky.  You are one of my favorite people; so getting to
sit next to you would be really nice for me," Craig said.

Nicky's face lit up like a light had been shown on it, and a smile broke
across it at the same time.  Nicky was always absolutely transparent. He
could never hide what was going on inside of him; as happiness or sadness
ebbed and flowed, he showed his truth on his face like a barometer
registered the weather.

"Yeah!  I'll go find out where we can sit too," and Nicky was off to the
kitchen also.

Jake looked at Craig and said, "Look, Hon, see what life can be like with a
few changes..."

I think that was supposed to be "code" for "let's have kids, Hon," but who
am I to meddle in my friend's lives...  I just smiled to myself and hoped
secretly that the boys didn't spill lemonade on either of them, cause I
hated to spoil a nice moment for Jake and Craig...

Craig smiled but didn't reply quickly. After a moment he said, "Jake, I
love these boys just as much as you do, but they aren't pets.  Their lives
are real and dealing with their problems, like those operations and the
retainers in their chests, require serious commitment and money.  You and I
are like on a honeymoon; and I've just got a good momentum with the
business now with Hugo's art, and you are respected in the hospital world.
I think we need to talk about what we're really ready for."

"Sure, Hon," Jake answered cheerfully.  "I know you're right, but life only
plays Forward.  There's no Rewind button; so we gotta think about our
options too..." And with that he took Craig's arms and pulled him up from
where he was seated on the sofa. "I love you," Jake said as he gave Craig a
little nuzzle and peck on the lips...

"Wanna go find our seats of honor next to the boys?" Jake said as he heard
Kevin call out, "Okay, everybody. Come and get it... Supper's ready."

*****

We walked into the kitchen where Kevin had the food set out buffet style,
plates and serving dishes next to the stove, black beans simmering in a
kettle over the heat, and chicken chopped into chunks and piled in a
warmer.

Craig said, "Okay, Kev. Where's the veggies that will get things in Jake
movin along...?" making reference to Kevin's joke earlier.

"Over there on the island.  I have both lightly steamed broccoli and winter
squash and a bowl of fresh tomato, onion, and cilantro salsa that I chopped
up just a few minutes ago.  That stuff when applied in ample quantities is
guaranteed to move things along better than traffic on the I-5!" Kevin
said.

"Are you suggesting that I'm not 'regular'," Jake said to Craig in a mock
indignant reply.

"Oh, Jake, you know that you have to watch what you eat lest you end up
with gas and a traffic jam inside," Craig joked...

"I most certainly do not!" Jake protested while piling up a mountain of
both the steamed and fresh veggies.

"Well, you won't tonight after eating THAT," Craig pointed and laughed.

"I'm being belittled by MY OWN partner!  How just is THAT?" Jake protested
again...

"Here, sit here, Jake, next to me....  I don't care if you fart a lot,"
Jilder said dead serious but addressing the issue without any adult
delicacy.

Jake turned to Jilder as he climbed over to his seat in the booth, "Now
even my buddy here is on my case! Jilder, I'll have you know I DO NOT FART
ALOT!"

Both boys split a gut laughing.  Certainly Jake had to know that there is
nothing quite like a "fart joke" to render an 11-year old helpless in
paroxisms of laughter.

"Oh, oh, oh, Jake farts a lot! Jake farts a lot!" Jilder started to chant.

"ENOUGH!" I shouted.  We will not make our guests uncomfortable because
they fart alot!" I said...

(I couldn't help it.  It was simply too tempting NOT to pile on poor
Jake....)"

"What??!!! Hugo, just WHEN have I bothered you with my farts-- even if I DO
have to fart occasionally," Jake tried to defend himself, but also tried to
remain honest too...

"OCCASSIONALLY!" Craig bellowed.  "OCCASSIONALLY!"  "Jake, come on, you
know you fart your brains out every time you eat beans."

Turning to the rest of us Craig said confidentially, "(Which means we ALL
have to take precautions tonight after he eats supper...)"

Nicky, not to be unaffected by this too-good-to-pass-up attack on Jake said
to him, "Jake.  You can blame it on the dogs."

"I will NOT blame the dogs for anything, and I DO NOT FART every time I eat
beans.... Oh, my, goodness, what are my friends saying about me..."

After just a moment of silence Jake added, "Well, I don't fart MUCH!"

But that just set the boys off again, and they both rolled around laughing
and bumping into Craig and Jake who sat on either side of them...

"Jake, you just gotta learn to be less candid with your humanity... These
guys are ruthless.  You should have seen them today with the dogs... They
wouldn't let the poor things have a moment's peace, and now they're onto
YOUR SCENT!" I told Jake.

"Oh, my.... I have no dignity left.  Now ALL of my friends know that I'm
prone to a little gas-- once in a while..." Jake admitted calmly taking a
sip of his lemonade.

Craig held his nose and mimed a pained face in reaction to an awful odor;
he waved his hand as though he were trying to get fresh air, and pointed to
Jake...

That set the boys off again, laughing and stomping their feet, bouncing
around in their seats.

"Well, Jilder... Nicky!" I said shifting somewhat ominous attention to
them... (After all, why should they go free from the playful social
attacks?)

"I seem to remember when you both got out of the hospital, your digestion
wasn't so good.  The operation made it really hard for you to poop. Then it
got like diarrhea and you BOTH had gas, if I remember correctly," I said,
only too happy to "OUT" them in this "Fart Free For All."

"DAD!" Nicky protested..."But we were SICK!"

"Yeah.  You were sick.  But you farted enough for TWO PEOPLE!" I said just
being devilish...

"You are being unfair, Hugo." Jilder joined Nicky.

"You are taking advantage of our being sick," Jilder protested too.

"Oh. I'm so, SO sorry, boys.  I thought you wouldn't mind my sharing this
bit of personal history with our friends!" I said.

"Ohhhhh! YOU WAIT, Dad! We'll catch YOU farting and then we'll tell Craig
and Jake," Nicky said shaking his head vigorously in the affirmative...
"You wait, Hugo!" Jilder joined forces with Nicky.

"ME?" I said in mock pretense.  "I DON'T FART!"  (Okay.  So I was asking
for it, but what's a good fart fight if you don't make yourself vulnerable
by cutting one yourself now and again?..."

"Ohhhh! Dad! Come on.... You DO too fart," Nicky protested.

"Hugo.  I'm going to catch one of yours in a bottle, and then take it to
Craig and Jake's house!" Jilder said.

"Oh, my goodness. Jilder, I had no idea that you knew how to do such a
naughty thing...  And I thought you were NEVER naughty..." I said smiling
to indicate that I was just talking "trash," to use an 11-year olds'
expression.

"YOU WAIT!" the boys both chorused with BIG smiles on their faces...

I was delighted to see them so feisty.


But then I said, "Oh, boys!  Don't I know that CERTAINLY I FART--- BIG
TIME!  And as for YOU FARTING: I love BOTH OF YOU AND YOUR FARTS!~ So
there...  You just think farting is funny.  And I think YOU are funny
laughing at the farts.  Okay, maybe farting is a little funny, but nothing
to be ashamed of... ! "  I said with a big smile, coming clean with my true
motives for what I said...

Then having gained a quantum leap in mischievousness out of nowhere, Nicky
said, "Do YOU fart, Craig?" Would NO one go unscathed in this frey.

"WHO? ME?" Craig exclaimed, drawing himself up in the most exaggerated
demonstration of indignity that any wrongly accused man could muster.
"ME?"

Both boys burst out laughing. They thought Craig was hilarious pretending
that he never farted....


"We don't believe you, Craig!" Jilder said.

"We caught you," Nicky followed up.

"Well, now that you ask, I might have a tiny, eency, weency little bit of
gas every couple of months..." Craig said.

Jake laughed and simultaneously induced a sizeable dose of lemonade up his
nose and had to jump up from the table before he exploded, coughing all
over everyone.

"I can't imagine WHAT Jake finds so funny?" Craig responded in puzzled
pretense.

Well, by this time everybody was vulnerable and raw from the humor of the
human condition... I can't say that I was the least bit unhappy with how
the boys conducted themselves... They could participate happily with the
adults in our mutual appreciation of our own vulnerabilities, and I loved
my fart-infatuated boys all the more at the end of that evening.  I think
we all enjoyed ourselves at supper.  And I looked forward to many more
wonderful times with these two good friends too.

With a little reflection, I decided that God was pretty smart making people
fart: when you're 11-years old, nothing could be funnier or more
entertaining!

*****