Date: Sat, 02 Mar 2002 00:03:46 -0500
From: readersstop@netscape.net
Subject: TFAP Diary Notes - 008 Catching Up (LJB)(MM BB Bb 1st anal oral teen1b
     teen2b slow)(64/56)

This is the eighth set of diary entries, notes and discussions involving
characters and events introduced in the series "To Fulfill a Prophesy".  I
strongly suggest reading the original series before these entries to allow
understanding of the characters and their relationship to each other.

TFAP Diary - 08 Catching Up


Ted's Day Book
Sunday, September 4th

We all attended a funeral today.  Jackson did not want his brother, Ethan
to be buried back at their homestead.  He says when his Pa dies, he would
like to take him back there to rest with his Ma, but he wanted Ethan
somewhere closer, where he could visit and he too could eventually rest.  I
know Jackson didn't have any idea at the time and most of the new family
were unaware, there is a cemetery here on the estate.  Dean's parents and a
number of their ancestors are interred there.  The cemetery is an
attractive, well kept plot of land located adjacent the formal gardens.

Dean invited Jackson to inter Ethan's ashes in the estate cemetery and
Jackson accepted.  Jackson will also have a plot designated for his use if
he wishes to remain beside Ethan when his time comes.  Jackson said even
though Ethan didn't know anybody here, he would be surrounded by good
people and that was really important to him.  It was a sad time, but with
all of us there, Jackson had plenty of people who cared to support him.

When we arrived home yesterday, everyone was here to meet us.  Lily Taylor
brought Len and Gus, Brian was there and Devon brought Luis, who was
visiting for the weekend.  Of course the rest of the family came out to the
airstrip.  And to my great surprise and pleasure, Debra was there.  She had
arrived for the holiday weekend visit to find us mostly absent, but had
settled in to wait out our arrival home.  Everyone was concerned with
seeing I had recovered from my injuries.

I was taking things very slowly as I got off the plane.  Everyone gathered
around me and I told them all I was fine.  One very important person was
not in the group, but glancing around I located Mr. Chen standing off to
the side of the group.  I excused myself and walked over to my Shihan.  I
stopped a few feet from him and we paused to look at each other.  After a
few moments, I bowed in respect and Mr. Chen returned my bow.  He then
walked over and wrapping his arms around my waist, hugged me firmly.  I
crossed my arms behind his shoulders and returned his hug.  I was honoured
by my friend's greeting and show of concern about me.

We spoke briefly and he satisfied himself I was recovering well.  He
requested to visit with me later in the day and I affirmed I would be
delighted to see him at any time.  This seemed to please Mr. Chen and he
withdrew from me with a slight bow which I respectfully returned.

By the time we had all been transported to the `castle', I found I was
beginning to tire.  The Doctors had advised I would have to return
gradually to normal activity because I would tire easily.  As I was about
to excuse myself from the group to go upstairs and lay down, I felt a hand
slip into mine.  Looking to my side I found Davey had come up and was
standing next to me.  His hand held mine tightly and I felt an unexpected
boost of energy flow through my body.  The tired feeling disappeared and I
felt as though I`d had a two hour nap.

"Thank you, Son."  I whispered as I bent over and kissed the top of Davey's
head.  "I was just thinking I would have to go and lay down."

"I know."  Davey responded quietly as he looked up at me.  "Everyone here
needs to know you are okay, especially Uncle Dean.  Now you can visit a
little longer and settle everyone's mind.  If you need anymore support,
just take one of our hands and hold it.  This is safe and will not effect
our ability to heal you."

"This is very special."  I replied.  "We sure could have used some of this
revitalizing at the long meetings we were attending during our time at the
capitol."

"Yeah."  he snorted.  "Well remember to take a couple of us with you the
next time you run off all mysterious and everything."  I got the definite
impression I was being scolded for an apparent lack of planning.

I remained another hour with the group and everyone seemed much more
settled by then.  I noted Eric and Kevin had taken Jackson under wing and
Tim was sticking close as well.  They introduced him to those he had not
met and everyone seemed to be very taken with him.  He had a natural
attraction to him, very similar to how people react to our boys.  His new
appearance since he had been groomed and started wearing his new clothing
was very attractive.  In this room of good looking, well dressed men, he
stood out and drew attention.

When I started toward the staircase to go and lay down, Denny slipped his
hand in mine and walked along with me.

"Thank you, Son," I said, "but I don't need anymore energy right now.  I
need to lay down."

"I know."  he replied with a tone which implied I should have known he
would know.  "I'm going to lay down with you.  Okay ?"  I nodded my
approval and we climbed the big staircase together.  When we reached the
big hall, upstairs, I turned habitually to my right to go down to the
entrance to my suite.  "You don't live there anymore, Dad.  Remember ?"

I did indeed remember, Dean and I now occupied the Master Suite.

"Good thing I have you, little man," I lauded him, "to keep me headed in
the right direction."  We both laughed.  I wondered as we approached the
door if the access code had been changed, but as usual, Denny touched the
handle and the door swung open.  After we had removed our shoes and lay on
the bed with a light blanket covering us, I found my `little man' needed to
talk.

"Daddy, are you mad at me ?"  he asked with no preamble.  I knew this was
troubling him as he had never before called me `Daddy'.

"Why would I be mad at you, Denny ?"  I responded.  I had an idea what was
coming and was glad we might have a chance to clear the air.

"Because of what I did and what I was going to do to Jackson."  he came
right to the point.  Denny was laying there facing me, but it was the
Fourth Guardian speaking to me now.  I paused a moment before responding to
make it clear that my answer had been carefully thought about.

"No, Denny, I'm not angry with you."  I told him and his face brightened.
"I was however, very disappointed in you."  The smile and glow on his face
were quickly lost.  "You decided because you knew something, you had a
right to go ahead and react according to what you thought you knew.  You
are big enough and smart enough to know the most undesired action you can
take is a reaction."  I watched his face and could see him considering
carefully what had been said.

"I knew I was wrong.  Uncle Dean forced me to take a memory yesterday
morning in his room when he was angry with me."  Denny informed me.  "It
was a memory about what had happened after they left you and I saw how
Jackson had helped and then how badly he had been hurt."  As he spoke, the
memory was passed to me.

"It seems to me there is a `confidence' issue here."  I suggested.  "In
spite of what you felt, you knew for sure Dean was indicating things needed
to be left alone and you could not accept that.  Does this mean Uncle Dean
does not have your full support and respect."

"I was so angry at the time, Dad."  Denny admitted.  "I didn't use the
proper judgment and afford Uncle Dean the respect and trust he has earned
and deserves.  When my brothers pointed this out to me, I stepped back and
started to re-examine what was happening."

"I give you credit for calling on your brothers and heeding their advice."
I said.  "I think you have to forgive yourself for an error, but really
learn the lessons you gained from it."

"I have to apologize to Uncle Dean and make sure he knows this was not
because I didn't trust him."  Denny stated.  "He is one of my most trusted
advisors......and friends.  I love him very much."

"I'm sure he knows, Denny," I assured him, "but it never hurts to be told
something like that."

"Thank you, Dad."  he replied.  "I know I can always turn to you when I am
uncertain.  I love you."

"I love you too, Denny."  I assured him.  "You are and always will be my
`little man' and you are very important to me."  He moved over to me and
put his arm over my waist.  We both lay quietly and very quickly dropped
off to sleep.

An hour later I woke.  Denny was still next to me with his arm around my
waist.  There was a very light tap at the bedroom door.  I glanced over and
Mr. Chen was quietly entering.

"Greetings, Master Chen."  I whispered to him.  "I am honoured by your
visit."

"I have come to see you and ask if I may examine the injury to your head,
my friend" Mr. Chen said.  I nodded my agreement.  Mr. Chen placed his
hands on my head and slowly moved them around my entire skull.  He touched
my forehead and cheeks, my ears, neck and chin.  He then placed his hands
on the sides of my skull and I could feel the heat generated by them almost
immediately.  He held them in place for several minutes and then released
my head.

"Do I require anything further ?"  I asked.  He shook his head.

"No."  he replied.  "The swelling has decreased sufficiently that you will
not be bothered any further."  He looked kindly at our `little man'.  "The
Giant has found some peace."  I noted the euphemism which he used to
describe Denny.  "He has had much distress these past days.  I have felt
the balance of his yin and yang sway with uncertainty.  Having you again
has brought him the peace which he needs to recover his equilibrium.  He
needs the part of you he clings to as much as he needs air to breath.  His
actions have in part been out of desperation and his own perception of the
need for survival."

"I knew there was a lot more involved in all this than the small part which
was being presented."  I commented.  "I was thinking the other day how we
need to recognize our boys' youth more and allow them the indecision and
uncertainties of adolescence."  Denny stirred and slowly opened his eyes.
His face and smile lit up when he saw me and I was flooded with a sense of
love and pride.  Mr. Chen reached over and stroked the tumbled mat of red
hair.

"Hi, Mr. Chen."  Denny greeted him.  "I didn't even know you were here."
"Good evening to you, Mr. Denny."  Chen replied.  "Dinner will be served in
a half hour.  You had best get ready."  Denny sat up and saying `good bye'
to each of us, confidently rushed off to prepare for dinner.


Eric Tanner's memories
Saturday, September 3rd.

"I wanted to talk to you Jackson about where you are going to live."  Dean
said.  He, Jackson and I had just been seated in Dean's office.  The rest
of the group had gone on to their rooms to get settled in and their
clothing unpacked.

"I don' need nothin' much, Dean."  Jackson responded.  "If'n thars a
problem finding somewhere for me, I kin
 sleep jus' about anywheres at all.  I don' want to be in no one's way."

"There's no problem finding a place for you, Jackson."  Dean assured him.
"We just want to make sure you have the most help and support in adjusting
to everything.  Eric, thought you might get along better if you became his
roommate.  That way he would be available to answer questions for you, or
show you how different things work.  How would you feel about an
arrangement like that ?"

"Eric is a real nice fella and I would like to be friends, but what's a
roommate ?"  Jackson asked.

"It's someone who shares a room with you."  I interjected.  "Someone who's
a friend you can talk to and ask any questions about anything you want.  We
would both sleep in the same room, just like you and Dean did while we were
away."

"Well shore!"  he enthused.  "That sounds jus' fine to me."  That being
settled, Dean called housekeeping and instructed that Jackson's new
suitcases be taken to the room where I was staying.  Jackson and I left
Dean's office and I led him through the house.

As we moved through different areas, Jackson stopped and admired various
things.  The swimming pools, the staff cafeteria, the grand staircase and
chandelier, all were visually examined and appreciated.  Peeks were taken
in the Games Room and Library and Jackson's eyes were as wide as saucers
when he saw all the books on the shelves.

"We only ever had three books at home.  The Bible, The Old Man and The Sea
and The Farmers' Almanac."  When we reached our room, I showed Jackson how
to enter the code to unlock the door.  He stepped in first and stopped just
inside the doorway as he looked over the bachelor suite.  I could see he
was astounded by the size and content of the room.

"This here room is for jus' you and me ?"  he inquired.  "What can we
possibly do with all this space ?"

"These are exceptional rooms," I assured him, "just as this whole estate is
very special.  Most people do not live at all like this, Jackson.  This is
a very special place and we are all very fortunate to be a part of it."

"Thar's jus' one `king size' bed."  Jackson noted.  "Which side is yours,
Eric."

"They're going to remove that bed and put two other beds in here for us."
I advised Jackson.  There was an immediate change in his demeanor.  He
turned from me and seemed to be looking at something in the corner.  "Is
that a problem, Jackson ?"  He didn't respond.  "Jackson, we're roommates
and friends.  You get to tell me when something is bothering you.  I can't
help when I don't know."

"I'm jus' bein' foolish, Eric."  Jackson finally responded.  "I ain't never
slept by my own `cept the last few nights at the hotel.  I though I would
be sharin' the bed, like I done with Ethan all my life.  It will jus' take
me a little to git a feelin' for it."

"It's not a problem, Jackson."  I replied.  "We'll ask them to leave the
bed for awhile, until you feel you want to have one of your own."  A big
grin broke out on Jackson's face.


Davey's Diary Notes
Saturday, September 3rd

Dinner Saturday evening was a big event in casual dress.  It was the first
time in many weeks our whole family got to sit down all together.  I looked
around the table and saw everyone who was important to me and who I have
come to think of as my family.  At the head of the table was Uncle Dean.  I
could see how pleased he was having all those who he loved and cared about
gathered around him.  To his left was Jackson.  Then Brendan and Todd.
They would only be here until Tuesday, then they would return to their
private school.  They had both become part of our family and had shared in
all our adventures and activities this summer.  We knew they would continue
coming back to us as we were now their family as well.

Seated next were Digger and Anson, then Tim, Matthew and Kevin.  Uncle Eric
and Denny were the last on that side of the table.  Dad was at the foot,
contrasting Uncle Dean's position.  I sat to Dad's left and Brian came
next.  It was so nice to be back with Brian.  We had plans this evening to
go out with some of the others and then come home and spend some quiet time
together.  Next to Brian was Mrs. Taylor, Gus, then Len.  Jason and Dale
came next.  Dale still complained when we sat in this order there was poor
opportunity and access if they should need to protect any of us.  Dale did
not know as yet, the Guardians would no longer need anyone's protection.
We were all capable of protecting ourselves, or anyone else.  Luis sat next
to Devon, then Aunt Debra and Jamie took the side next to Uncle Dean.  Of
course Mr. Chen was in his position, supervising our dinner as it was
served.

 Uncle Dean made an announcement about a burial service for the ashes of
Jackson's brother, Ethan, tomorrow morning.  All the Guardians knew where
the cemetery area was.  I don't know about the others, but I had visited
there several times to sit and think in the presence of the others.  The
spirits of those buried there had been strong in their individuality and a
tranquillity permeated the area at all time.  These ancestors were the
extension of a very old family and had amassed much wisdom and strength
during their lifetimes.  Jamie's spirit evolved from them and he reflected
their veracity.  We knew Ethan could not be in better company.

The second announcement Uncle Dean made was about the new housing units.

"I have hurriedly been updated on the progress of our new housing project.
During our collective absences much progress has been made."  he reported.
"This is in no small part due to Lilly Taylor, who took the initiative to
make some important decisions on our behalf and prevented work on the
buildings from grinding to a halt."  I found out later some problems with
the buildings and uncertainties about the way some things should be done
had arisen.  This included some colour scheme decisions, changes in some of
the basic designs, type and quality of materials to be used and various
other important items.  Mrs. Taylor had taken the bull by the horns, so to
speak and resolved, or made decisions about these and other items which
could have caused the slow down or halt of construction.

"I am certain you will all note in the next few days external work on the
buildings has been completed and the finish carpentry is now underway.  The
`big house', which it appears Ted and my new residence is being referred
by, is going to be finished in two weeks and the three other dwellings will
be complete by month end."  An applause was provided by all of those
present.  There was a chattering among the people at the table as Uncle
Dean paused in his comments.

"My associate," he looked at Denny, "who has his own methods of determining
such things, has informed me we do not have enough residences to meet
coming future needs.  Reflecting my confidence in his evaluation of such
matters, the construction of three more residences will begin on the 1st of
October and will be completed before Christmas."  Again, another round of
excited conversation broke out.

"As most of you know, the `big house', has enough space to house everyone.
The living areas in it are not much different from the areas in the castle,
be it bachelor or couple suite.  It was our original intention to offer the
other residences to the couples among us.  We felt they deserved the extra
privacy of their own homes.  So far, only one couple, for reasons of their
own, will be moving into their own residence.  That will be Jason and
Dale."  Again there was a buzz at the table as each of us tried to adapt to
the idea of not having Dale and Jason living right within our easy reach.

"I know," Dale spoke up, "no one will ask why, but we want you to know."
The room became silent as all ears were turned on to Dale's explanation.
"Jason and I love all of you very much and have had to convince ourselves
living next door is not the same as moving away.  After all, we live on the
ground floor now, while everyone else is on the second floor."  There was a
general agreement from all of us.

"Trotting down the stairs and a hall," Denny said showing a not very happy
expression about this announcement, "is a lot different than trotting
outside to the house next door, to get your feet warmed."

"Well, put your slippers on, Denny."  Jason suggested.  "Then we'll warm up
the rest of you when you get there."  Everyone laughed, except Denny and
Matthew.

"Maybe you and Matthew will just have to sleep over at our house every now
and then, Denny."  Dale suggested.  This brought a big smile to both the
boys' faces.  "The reason we have asked for a residence is because Jason
and I have applied to adopt a child and having our own residence will
further our application."  There was a burst of applause and excited
discussion at this announcement, everyone voicing their surprise and
support.

"I think that's absolutely wonderful."  Aunt Debra voiced, rising from her
seat and walking down two spaces to give both Dale and Jason a hug.
Mrs. Taylor came from the other direction and did the same, wishing each
good luck as she hugged them.

"This could take some time."  Jason commented.  "We don't know how
resistant the Juvenile Authority will be about allowing a couple of gay men
to adopt a child, but we're committed to this and we're going to do
whatever it takes to make it happen."  Dale nodded in agreement and the
rest of us cheered and continued to congratulate them.


Memories from Matthew
Saturday, September 3rd

"Denny."

"Yes, Matthew."  he responded.

"Denny, I can't sleep."  I told him.  "Will you come and lay with me, so we
can talk for a while ?"  Denny slid out of his bed and came over to mine.
He climbed in next to me.  We lay on our sides facing each other.

"Now, what's on your mind that's keeping you awake, little brother ?"  he
asked.

"I don't know."  I answered.  "I guess the funeral tomorrow made me think
about my Dad."

"You have so many great memories of your Dad, Matthew."  Denny counseled.
"You should have a lot of good thoughts about the times you had with him."

"Yeah, I do."  I admitted.  "I was thinking about all the things that've
happened since I came to live here.  The one I like the best is having you
as my big brother.  I've never had to worry since then.  You've always told
me what was going to happen and what I should do.  Even when you were
asleep for so long, I sat beside you and Kevin the same as everyone else,
but I knew everything would be okay, because you told me before it happened
that it would."

"I want you to know you can always count on me, Matthew."  Denny assured
me.  "I will never let any harm come to you."

"I know that, Denny."  I testified.  "I can't help wondering what going to
the new school on Tuesday is going to be like."

"We're going to have a great time."  Denny told me.  "You're going to be in
Grade 2 and Gus and me will be in Grade 4.  There will be lots of other
kids for us to meet and play with.  I always liked going to school when I
could get there, before I came to live here.  It will all be fine."

"What else is going to happen, Denny ?"  I asked, certain he could tell me.

"Matthew, do you know what trust is ?  Denny asked.

"I know I trust you, Denny."  I answered.

"Listen carefully, Matthew and I will tell you about another kind of
trust."  Denny told me.  "This is about trusting you to keep what I tell
you to yourself.  Then I will tell you about an adventure which will happen
in the coming year for us."


Jason's Personal Diary Notes
Saturday, September 3rd

I lay at peace.  The center of my universe lay beside me, lightly dozing
after the strenuous exertion of our recent joining.  We weren't done yet,
this was just a brief pause, to allow our batteries to recharge.  My
thoughts drifted back to the events of this afternoon after Dale had
returned.

"Jason.  Will you come in here when you get done what you're doing ?"  Dale
called to me.  I was busy cleaning up a stack of paperwork I had left on
our dining table and he was in the bedroom, unpacking his clothes from the
trip.  It occurred to me he just might be horny after two nights away and
if we really hurried we might just have enough time before dinner.  I left
my papers and sped to the bedroom door.

He was standing beside our bed, fully dressed, patiently awaiting my
arrival.  As I passed through the bedroom door, he beckoned me over to him.
I stopped just in front of him and after gazing at me for a moment, he
stepped forward, so he was close to me and placed one arm over my shoulder
and the other around my waist.

He leaned in and kissed me.  This was a very unusual kiss.  It did not
herald the passion which normally was followed by intense love making.  It
was not demanding.  It neither sought my compliance, nor compelled me to
assume an aggressor's stance.  It was a kiss of pure love and caring.  It
warmed me from my toes to the tingle in my spine and set my head whirling
slightly.  When it ended he continued to hold me and looked deeply into my
eyes.

"I know you know this."  Dale spoke to me softly.  "I love you.  I love you
more than anything else in this world and you deserve to be told more
regularly."

"I know you do."  I replied back to him.  "I know because there is no way I
could have so much love for you if you didn't"

"We belong to each other, forever."  he declared.

"Forever."  I affirmed.  This time we kissed each other sharing those
feeling we held in common.  This was not sex, this was love.  I knew the
sex which would come later was going to be especially memorable..

And it had been.  It had been the combination of those deep feelings of
love and caring which are reserved and shared only between us and the
physical lust which our bodies create chemically within us individually for
each other.  Our intercourse had become far more than a physical act.  It
had become an offering we made to each other in sharing our bodies and
ourselves by merging into one being.  Thinking about this I found myself
comparing the bliss we now knew to the first time we had shared each
other's body.

Two years ago, Dale had been a Navy Seal and I was a Marine.  We lived in
two different worlds.  The Services in which we served did not commonly
associate, but an unusual situation resulted in a sharing of facilities for
a period by the units to which each of us were assigned.  For several
months the Marines worked and socialized with the Marines and the Seals did
the same.  Over the course of time, each section found themselves
frequenting facilities where the other was also present.  I noticed Dale a
few times while out with a group from my unit, but we never actually met as
he was always accompanied by some of his buddies.  He was easy to
recognize.  He stood out because he was so handsome and had such a
magnificent physical build.  I saw him again a few times while following my
routine in the shared gym facility we all used.

One weekend, I had a three day pass and decided I needed some time on my
own.  Turning down several invitations to accompany friends from my unit to
various locales, I caught a Gray Hound Bus and invested three hours in a
trip of 100 miles to a city where I was pretty sure I wouldn't meet anyone
from my group.  A couple questions to a cabby who was waiting at the
station and I was soon whisked to the local baths.

My knowledge of the baths was very limited and experience non-existent.  I
was registered, roomed, dressed in a towel and wandering through the
corridors before I began to suspect this place wasn't for me.  My entry to
a room where some fisting of widely stretched bared butts, their groaning
and pleading owners hanging in slings with groups of naked men surrounding
them, waiting a turn to use the restrained subjects, confirmed my
suspicions.  I moved toward the door through which I had entered and found
it blocked by a large, hairy individual who was very focused on looking me
over.

"Where you goin', darling ?"  the large mass of hairy, muscled flesh
inquired.  "We'll have a sling ready for you in just a short while and I'm
gonna be the first into that pretty little butt of yours."  Three or four
similarly large specimens voiced their agreement.  I figured I could try to
fight my way out, but the likelihood of succeeding was naught.  Suddenly, a
strong hand gripped my upper arm from behind me and spun me around.

"It's about time you showed up."  the man in front of me snarled loudly.
"I told you to report to me as soon as you got here."  He reached out and
pulled my towel off from around my waist leaving me standing naked before
him.  Leaning forward and reaching around me, he suddenly smacked my bare
butt sufficiently hard to leave a well defined hand print.  "That's just a
sample of what you can expect when you don't follow my instructions.  Now
get back to our room and be prepared to be reprimanded."  He then pushed me
toward the door which was being blocked by the flesh mountain.

"Let's put him in the sling, Dale."  the man suggested.  "We can all teach
him to do as he's told."

"Not this time."  Dale replied.  "I'm just starting to train this one and
he's not ready yet."  I could see the gathered men were disappointed, but
apparently not ready to oppose the man behind me.  They moved aside and let
us pass out of the room.

"How come.......?"  I started to ask.  He reached over and smacked my butt
again, this time not as forcefully.

"Shut up."  Dale snapped.  "Just stay silent and get to your room."  He
followed me through the hallways and when I found my room and opened the
door, he followed me inside.  "What the fuck are you doing here ?"

"I didn't know this was an S & M bath.  I just came where the cabby brought
me."  I responded.  "I'm sure he had a good chuckle all the way to his next
fare.  Thank you for interceding.  You saved my ass and I mean that in the
greatest possible number of ways."

"Get yourself dressed and I'll walk you out."  Dale instructed.  "That way
you won't get jumped before you hit the street.

"Why are you doing this for me ?"  I asked.  "You're here.  You could have
let them set me up and you could have taken your turn with me, just like
the rest of them.  They obviously know and listen to you.  So why are you
getting me out of this ?"

"Maybe, I've decided to keep you until after I've used you myself."  he
replied.  "Maybe, I know Cpl. Jason Lawrence is a good man and I always
like to know there's a good man out there."  I was surprised he knew my
name.  I hadn't told him.  "Whatever my reason, I can't always be around
when you get into a mess, so watch yourself."  I looked into his eyes.
They were a soft brown and they made me feel safe in spite of my current
surroundings.

"I don't know what to do now."  I admitted to him.  "I was hoping to learn
some things this weekend, but not what's being taught here.  I've only been
with one man before and then only twice, so I don't really know anything
about sex out here in the real world."  I realized he was now looking into
my eyes.  I'm not sure how long we stood there.  It was more than one
minute, but less than five.  He eventually reached over and placing his
hand on the back of my head, drew me into a kiss.  It was firm and
passionate and the first time a man had ever kissed me.  When he ended it,
I was hard.

"Get dressed and wait here until I come back."  he instructed.  "Lock the
door behind me."  There was an authoritative edge to his voice that was not
to be questioned, so I did exactly as he told me.  Ten minutes later he
knocked on the door and identified himself.  When I opened the door, I saw
he was dressed and ready to leave.  He told me to grab my things and follow
him, which I did.  A few minutes later we were in a cab and speeding to a
location he had specified to the driver.  I looked, but it was not the
driver I had encountered earlier.

We arrived at a fairly nice motel and Dale went in to register, while I
paid the taxi and then waited.  When he came out of the office he told me a
room number and pointed in the direction we should walk.  Unlocking the
door, he entered the room and turned on the lights.  I followed him in.
The room was clean and attractive.  There were two large double beds which
surprised me as I kind of figured Dale was going to expect my body as
compensation for giving up his evening at the bath.  Maybe I was misjudging
my newly acquired companion.

"This is a nice place."  I commented.

"Yeah.  I generally stay here when I'm not at the baths."  he informed me.
"It's got a nice pool and sauna and it's gay owned, so bathing suits are
not required.  The only restriction is they prefer the sex remains in the
rooms, though I've had both the owners in the sauna on different
occasions."

"You've had a lot of sexual experience, haven't you ?"  I asked casually.

"I'm 24 years old and I've been fucking since I was 11."  he answered.  "I
imagine I've done just about everything one man can do to another, or group
of others, at sometime as far as sex goes."

"Have you ever been in love ?"  I queried.  He looked at me.  "I've always
believed I would find the right man and I would fall in love."

"No, I've never been in love."  he told me quietly.  "At least not so far."
he added almost as an afterthought, still looking at me.  "They tell me it
makes a difference, but I couldn't say whether that's true or not."

"The man I was with loved me."  I said.  "He's my older cousin and I've
known him all my life.  I loved him, but I wasn't in love.  Before I joined
the service, I knew I had to find out about myself for sure.  He's gay and
I talked to him about my feelings and desires.  He helped me learn about
myself and about what I really wanted."  Dale continued to watch me as we
talked.  I found talking to him easy and he was very interesting to listen
to.  I was beginning to feel a closeness to this man who I really didn't
know.  Before I knew it, it was one thirty Saturday morning and we had been
talking for over three hours.

"We should go to bed now."  Dale told me.  I agreed and started taking my
clothes off, unsure whether he meant going to bed together or separately.
"You know what's expected of you with a dominant Master ?"  he asked.  I
shook my head, no.  "You can learn as we go along."  he suggested.

"I don't know how I will feel about domination," I informed him, "but I
know I'm not interested in any of the S & M we saw tonight.  I also am not
prepared to be humiliated, or used as a piece of meat.  I'm interested in
finding a lover, not becoming a chattel."  He looked at me again, staring
hard into my eyes as I returned his gaze.

"I'm not interested in being someone's lover."  Dale finally answered.
"You are going to have to learn to take it as it's offered.  Subs are not
in control and can not be telling their Master what, where and when.  That
being said, I must admit I want you more than I can remember wanting anyone
before.  There's something special about you which draws me and even makes
me willing to try things with some restrictions for awhile.  Are you sure
with all your limits you don't want to be on top as well ?"

"Not this time."  I replied.  "We'll see about later."

"There's a `smart ass' streak in you we're really going to have to do
something about."  he chuckled.  "In other circumstances I might just beat
it out of you."  He walked over to me and drew my naked body tightly
against his own.  I was instantly hard and I could feel his sizable weapon
pressing against me.  His mere touch excited me so much I thought I was
going to explode.  I whispered to him how close I was.  He released me and
went over to pull the spread down on the bed and expose the crisp, white
sheets.  Even though I am slightly taller than Dale, when he walked back
over to me he swept me up into his arms and carried me to the bed, laying
me down.  He then crawled on top of me and stretched out.

His kisses were light and intended to focus my full attention on what was
happening.  His head moved to my ear lobe and he kissed it several times,
then nibbled on it briefly.  My rigid shaft was trapped between our hard
stomachs and I was starting to feel the tingle of ejaculation.  I told Dale
again.

"Don't."  was all he said, but the tone in his voice made it clear it was
my responsibility to see it didn't happen.  My entire focus was now on
keeping myself from coming.  I gritted my teeth and thought about the
terrible things which helped me lose erections in school and church.
Eyeballs was one such thought and dead bodies.  It didn't seem to be
helping.  As if he could read my mind, Dale lifted up and grabbing just
under the ridge of my penis' head, he squeezed hard with three fingers.
Ten seconds later, my dick was limp as a wet noodle.

"You killed it."  I whispered, the horror apparent in my voice.  For the
first time I saw Dale actually smile and I think that's when I lost my
heart to him.

"It will return to life shortly."  he assured me.  He lowered himself onto
me again and started to tease my right nipple with his tongue and then to
suck and nibble on it.  My toes tried to curl themselves into a ball and I
felt my dick start to straighten out again.  "I'm going to get you off, so
we can slow things down and make it all last."  he informed me.  "I hope
you realize I don't usually provide service like this."  He slid down from
my chest and caught the head of my rising staff in his mouth.

I've been sucked off before, several times, but never like this.  The heat
of his mouth fired my staff like steel.  Every movement of his tongue
seemed to amplify the feelings in my dick a thousand fold.  Nothing had
ever felt this good.  He vacuumed my tube into his throat and then
proceeded to squeeze a climax out of my dick.  When it hit me, everything
went black.  I lost my sight, I lost my hearing, all I could feel was the
sensation of flying as my dick pumped gallons of cum directly into Dale's
gut.  When I returned to this side of reality, Dale had moved up in bed
beside me and was lightly kissing my lips and rubbing them with his tongue.

"I don't know what it is about you, Cpl. Jason Lawrence," he cooed into my
ear, "I had more of a thrill in getting you off than I can remember having
in a long time."

"It's love."  I offered.  "You're just finding it and I'm already
benefiting from it."  He lay quiet for a few minutes as if he was ready to
deny what I had said, but just not sure he could make himself honestly
believe the denial.  "If it's going to happen, Dale, it's going to happen.
Let's just relax and enjoy.  Maybe it will pass when we're both sated."

We did our best to reach that sated level during the weekend.  We never
made it and never have since.  At one point Saturday night, Dale got
physically rough, taking on the habits of his recent experiences.  I
grabbed my things and left.  Twenty minutes later I was headed back and ran
into Dale out looking for me.  We both acknowledged we were not prepared to
be without each other, so we would have to make some mutual changes.  It
took a lot of bargaining and negotiating, but we reached a compromise we
both could not only live with, but our love could grow in.

And to think this would never have happened if it hadn't been for a bastard
of a cabby who thought he'd let the S & M group break in a want-to-be
fairy.  I thought again about that cabby.  The jacket he wore could not
conceal his muscular build and he seemed tall, as best I could tell from
his seated position behind the wheel.  He wore a cap, but traces of his
blond hair stuck out from its edges.  I remember thinking when I first saw
him, what a handsome man he was.

I snapped out of my dream-like state and sat upright in my bed, startling
Dale and causing him to leap up prepared to protect us, thinking something
was amiss.  I could not believe it.  The man I was remembering was Ted.


A Note to Readers:
I have only planned to produce one further of these Diary type sections.
It will be posted at the beginning of April.  There may then be a lapse of
a few months.

I have begun (in truth the first quarter chapter is written) the next book,
titled:

The Guardians - Family Matters

As previously, I will not begin posting this book until I am nearly done
writing it.  I do not believe it is fair to keep readers waiting uncertain
periods of time between chapters once they have begun reading a story, so I
therefore want to be well ahead before offering it to you.

Thank you to all who have expressed their desire to keep The Guardians
alive and growing.  It is always very uplifting to hear how so many of you
relate to these individuals and gain enjoyment in reading about the
inter-relationships they are experiencing.

LJB