Date: Fri, 6 Jul 2001 09:00:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Pigs Fly <sensual_dude2000@yahoo.com>
Subject: To Love Again Part 8--Beginnings section of Nifty Archive

This is an original story and all similarities in
names, places, etc, alive or otherwise, are pure
coincidences.

Hi, readers. Thank you much for the nice e-mails I
received for the last chapter. With this chapter, I
just want to let you know that I will be posting a new
story soon. It will be called "Miracle of A Dying
Star." It will be another love story that is more
romantic and unearthly than this one, I hope. Hehe! I
hope you will enjoy this chapter and I will post the
next one when I return from my holiday, which is one
and a half month later. This is a LONGER chapter than
the rest to make up for that coming one and a half
month. Thank you for your patience.

	Christmas eve dawned bright and cheery, at least that
was what I thought. Anyway, I had the strangest dream
last night. In it, I was skating alone on a frozen
lake when I fell in suddenly. Ted was nowhere to be
seen even though I kept calling out for him. It gave
me the shivers (no pun intended); brrr! Anyway, the
one traditional thing we did every Christmas eve was
to gather in the dining room for a drink. Not alcohol,
mind you. Just some coffee, tea or juice. We would be
there for a "confession session," with grandma at the
head of the table. This was to allow ourselves some
peace of mind, I guess.
	After 10 minutes or so, everybody was seated,
including Ted's parents. They were really enthusiastic
about Ted and me, and they were glad that they could
join in the family tradition. So, the whole thing
started with grandma confessing that she had done no
wrong that year, nothing major at least. The one thing
that bothered her was the fact that she had been nosey
enough to be the matchmaker of a girl who was getting
nowhere in the boyfriend department. She was worried
if it was going to be all right after they had married
last week. The whole session was conducted in a solemn
mood, with the adults and my cousins, nephews, nieces
confessing whatever wrong they had done, be it at work
or home. I confessed mine too and then it was Ted's
turn, who was the last one in line.
	"I had done something really grave this year: falling
for Jeremy!" I was shocked and looked hard at him.
"Haha. Just kidding. Relax, J!" Whew! I thought he
meant it because he had said the "confession" so
seriously. Even my family and his parents were stunned
for a second.
	After a few minutes of laughter, we settled down and
heard what Ted had to confess. "I had done no wrong
this year, seriously. Unless you counted cursing as
one, then I was guilty of many sins. Hehe," Ted
grinned. The funny part I could not see, only the fact
that Ted seemed to be hesitant and there was a weird
look on his face for a brief moment. I could not
describe exactly how I felt, just that I knew he was
holding something back in his conscience. If ever you
were in love, you would know your soulmate without
having to put things in words. Everybody stood up and
went to chat in the living room, or outside on the
lake to skate. It was cold already when we got here,
but the lake was not frozen as yet. I decided I would
find a way to find out what was the thing that
bothered Ted the most and why he could not be honest
about it.
	I sat down on the sofa and read a magazine when Ted
came in. "Hey, loverboy. Can I talk to you for a
second? There is something I need to ask you and you
have to answer truthfully."
	"Sure," Ted looked at me, his expression was queer,
as if he was seeing something unnatural.
	We walked out for a stroll, hand in hand. Chatting
aimlessly while I was pondering on how to approach him
best with what I wanted to know, what I needed to
know. Finally, Ted gave me a way out when he spoke
out: "You know, huh?"
	"Huh? What? I don't understand you, honey."
	"You know I was holding something back. Don't deny
it. I could see it in your eyes, as you could see
plain as day in mine. I will tell you honestly, but
promise me that you will listen till I finish and hear
my explanation calmly, okay?" Suddenly, I remembered
his questions last night if I would love him no matter
what and if I would forgive his past mistakes, etc.
	"I...I...do you promise, J?" Ted seemed unconvinced
by my initial assurance. I nodded my head and he
continued: "I was fourteen that year, hormones racing
and stuff...you know." He shook slightly, though I
knew he was not cold but nervous. "I molested a boy of
10." He stopped abruptly, staring on the ground and
not daring to look me in the eyes.
	"Do...do you hate me now, J?"
	"Yeah...yeah, I sure do. Why?"
	"I just didn't know what made me do it, J. Honest! I
was so...I lost all sanity. I...I just touched
him...there, you know? And I regretted it later,
but...I know that the whole confession thing was about
this year's mistakes, not one that was committed years
back, but I just felt so guilty about it. My parents
knew, but they forgave me. I...I...well, will you, J?"
Ted's words rushed out so fast that I just couldn't
make him stop. However, I knew now the meaning of my
dream earlier on. I must have been too worried about
Ted and what he told me last night, and thus, the bad
dream.
	"I don't know what makes you think I won't." I smiled
at him and kissed him lightly on the lips. He was so
surprised and I guess, so relieved that he just cried.

	"J, I was so scared. Whe...when I asked you last
night if you would ever forgive such a mistake,
you...you told me it depended on the situation and
tha...that was too vague an answer to relief this fear
in me." Ted just kept on crying as I embraced him
tightly.
	"I'm sorry, Ted. Please don't cry, you're hurting me
to know that I had hurt you like that. Please...," I
wiped his tears with my thumb and kissed him again. It
was a bittersweet kiss, full of love and relief. The
snow fell gently to the ground at that moment, adding
to the romanticism of the minute.
	"So, are you fine now, T?"
	"Yeah, J. Thanks for loving me so much. I love you,
Jeremy McKnight."
	"I love you, Ted Johnson." We kissed again as time
seemed to stand still to capture this very perfect
moment.
	After walking about for a while, we decided to head
back to the house. On the way, I told Ted: "Hey, Ted.
I feel that this should be a secret between us. I
don't think that everyone needs to know. Is that fine
with you? I mean, you have regretted it now and the
most important thing is that you have changed from the
boy back then to this man that I love so much now. I
just don't think that there is any need to announce it
to my family, okay? Every couple has a secret, you
know? Plus, you will never repeat that mistake again,
I know. So, there really is no necessity to let anyone
else knows about this." I winked at him and the relief
I noticed assured me that I had said the right thing.
I took his hand and we walked back slowly, more like
we were crawling back. However, it was just so
romantic, with Ted and the snow.
	"You're back, finally. We thought the two of you were
so FAR gone, that we have to drag you back," grandma
was in her usual teasing mood and her emhasis on the
word "far" made plain enough what she meant by that.
	"Well, we had stolen a couple of kisses out there,
nothing major. If we had, you would not be seeing us
back so soon," I retorted while Ted was blushing like
a tomato. I was not about to turn red and let grandma
had the satisfaction of winning this round.
	"Ahh, I see. Hey, go help those ladies in the
kitchen. They need your help. I had just seated myself
comfortably on this sofa a few minutes ago and I will
be there a bit later. The gentlemen were somewhere
cleaning the house. As you are a good cook, I have
reserved the kitchen duty for you, and so is your
man." Grandma always had a strange way of grouping
people together. In this case, it was "the ladies" and
"the gentlemen." I mean, those were such strange ways
of calling your family members.
	"Aight, madam. C'mon, Ted. It is an order from the
general. Ouch! Hey, I am calling you general. Ouch!
Okay, okay. We're going," I exclaimed as grandma
landed me some light spanking on the butt when I
called her "general." She sure sounded like one to me,
but I did not tell her that. I would just get more
spanking. *wink*
	The time passed by so fast when you were busy. I
thought that we had done with all the cooking
yesterday, but as I discovered now, it was a MAMMOTH
task to feed a GIGANTIC family. I might be
exaggerating for a bit here, but there sure were a lot
of people in my family. The food we had to prepare was
no little amount, mind you.
	The night sky was so beautiful tonight, with snow
falling gently still. I did not realize that the
ground was really piled with snow. I would have to
shovel it tomorrow, I thought. Ted and I was sitting
on the front porch. We were there in a comfortable
silence, savoring the moment.
	"Hey, Ted. What are you thinking about, sweetie?"
	"Hmm, I am thinking that it is such a beautiful night
and it is perfect with you here."
	"Awww, that's so sweet. Yeah, I know what you mean. I
always think that being with you is the best thing
that has ever happened to me. I love you, Ted."
	"I love you too, Jeremy." He leaned in to kiss me a
bit and we separated to enjoy the perfect night.
	I stood up after a while and started singing. Ted got
behind me and was embracing me tightly as I sang
softly to him, to our love. It was such a perfect
night. It would be Christmas soon.
	After a while, we went back into the house and the
bedroom to sleep. I was contented just to feel Ted's
arms around me as we drifted off to sleep. I had the
perfect dream that night. Ted and I were skating on
the lake and this time round,  I did not fall into the
lake.
	I awoke to the sound of the alarm and the sunlight
pouring in. "I looked over to see my man was still
fast asleep. He had such a peaceful expression that I
did not have the heart to move his arms away from my
body and so I lay down again to savor the moment. Too
late though because he murmured: "Morning, sweetheart.
How do you feel?"
	"Morning, loverboy. I feel just fine and it was so
good to have you hugging me to sleep. How about you?"
	"I feel perfect, and you smell so nice, the smell of
my man."
	"Haha. That's the shampoo, wiseguy."
	"Who cares? You smell nice and that's all I bother
with."
	"You better or else you'll see me fighting tooth and
nail to get you back from whoever daring enough to
steal my man."
	"Hmm, sounds good. I am glad to hear that I mean so
much to you. Just for the record, whoever has the
cheek to touch you indecently has me to contend with.
I will knock his teeth loose, all of them. Just watch
out when I am jealous. I can be really violent."
	"Ooohh, I love hearing that. That sounds so romantic
and sexy. No worry though, for you, that is. You know
well that I will never cheat on you. Can you promise
the same thing though?" I pretended to sound worried,
but I knew that he would never see someone else behind
my back, or in front of me for that matter.
	However, I got his attention all right 'cause he sat
bolt upright and turned me around. With such a sincere
gaze, he said: "I love you, Jeremy and I will never
hurt you, ever. I promise you my heart, my body,
everything of me."
	"Aww, I know, babe. I'm just teasing you," I smiled
at him, touched by his words.
	"I want you to...no, no, I NEED you to know that I
belong to you and you belong to me."
	"Hmm, I don't recall that I belong to you," I grinned
at him.
	"What? Hmm, trying to be nasty, huh? Let me kiss you
and see if you still don't belong to me." He kissed me
tenderly and I held on to him, not wanting to let go
but I had to. It was time to go down for breakfast and
opened the gifts.
	"Now, do you belong to me?" Ted asked me again, his
eyes burning with the passion and love.
	"Yeah...I belong to you, Ted." I blushed and Ted
grinned, looking like an excited little boy who had
just won something he wanted desperately. "Hey, Ted.
Let's get down now. I bet everyone's waiting for us to
have breakfast and then we will be opening the gifts."
	"Awww, I don't want to. I want to make love to you."
	"I know, Ted. As much as I want to, we can't. C'mon.
Be a good boy and I will make sure you are happy
later, okay?"
	"Is that a promise?"
	"Yep!" Then, we went down hand in hand.
	Breakfast was a real affair. Everyone ate as if there
was something burning up their asses. I guess we all
could not wait to open the gifts. When breakfast was
over, we had to help clear the dishes and put them in
the dishwasher. When all was clean, everyone,
including grandma (unbelievable, huh? Well, better
believe it), rushed to the "crime scene" and
frantically searched for gifts bearing their names.
	"BIKINI????????????? Jeremy!!! You...oh, you, as
usual!! Hahaha!" Grandma was shocked, but she laughed
anyway. She knew that I was crazy, as always.
	"Well, juts kidding, grandma. Looked what's wrapped
in it." She opened up the bikini and discovered a an
apron, with the words: I love you, Grandma Bess
(Jeremy).
	"Aww, you are always so cheeky, grandsonny. Sigh!
Thank you much!"
	As to the others, I could only say that practically
the same thing happened. I would only describe mum's
and dad's reactions. Mum was surprised with the
barely-there negligee and chuckled loudly, with dad
frowning upon it, as usual. Dad was more than
surprised, I would say, with his gift: a pajama which
was made of silk and had "A Piece of Sexy Ass" right
at the back of the pajama-pants. He frowned a bit, but
I could see that he found it just as funny. His eyes
were twinkling when he said: "Hmm, I hope your mum
will agree, J." Everyone laughed merrily at his
remark. After that was over, everyone sat around to
sing some Christmas carols and it was a joyous
morning.
	"Hey, Jeremy. Will you sing for us tonight? The
church is asking you to, after you had outperformed
the choir last year. Hehe," dad chuckled. "He sang
"Silent Night" last year," dad explained to Ted and
his parents.
	"Really?!? You don't say," Ted mocked hurt and looked
at me accusingly.
	"It's nothing really. I just thought that, you know,
what the heck?" I replied, then turning to dad, I
said: "Sure thing, dad!"
	"Hey, you know what? Maybe we can sing together, you
think?" Ted asked me.
	"Sure, c'mon. Let's practise now!" I pulled him up
from the sofa and we walked towards the piano in the
music room. I used to practise here as a child. It
felt so good to play the piano again. Ever since
Anthony passed away, I just could not bring myself to
touch the piano. I was singing in church last year,
gazing at Anthony's intense eyes each time I looked
up. Then, he died a few months later.
	The family was crowded in the room as they listened
to our practice session. "Hey, guys. Please! We want
this to be a surprise to you, not knowing what we will
sound like. Now, out, out, c'mon. Thank you much."
	"You better be good, boys. Don't disappoint this old
granny." Evryone laughed at Grandma's description of
herself. She rarely called herself old.
	The song was practised in about one hour or so. There
were a few mistakes. Either Ted forgot to sing his
part or it was me. The closing verse was the worst by
far. Ted kept forgetting that he had the bass part and
I, the tenor. Sigh! It would not be good if this kept
happening. We decided to continue later. Fortunately,
we would be singing only one song. I could not quite
imagine what it would be like if it were more than
that. We walked back to the living room and everyone
was looking at us, expecting us to say something.
	"Well, not good. Ted and I had a hard time
collaborating. Sometimes, Ted would forget his part
and/or I would not sing at the right moment. Sigh! The
last part was the worst. Ted kept making the mistake
of singing my part, and when he did get the notes
right, he would be so loud that I was influenced and
sang his notes instead."
	"Yeah...it was harder than I thought." Ted grinned at
me and I stuck out my tongue at him, smiling a bit at
his sheepishness.
	"Well, you can practise after lunch. I am sure you
guys will do just fine," Mrs. Johnson spoke after a
while.
	"Thanks, mum."
	"Thanks, Mrs. Johnson," I said and smiled wider. Mrs.
Johnson had that effect on anyone. She could calm you
down.
	Lunch was pretty much the same as the day before. It
was noisy, with everyone speaking at the same time or
butting in here and there. There was not a moment
peace in this family each Christmas. All of us were
too anxious to let others know that we existed, so we
all had to speak the loudest we possibly could. Sigh!
I mean, it sounded funny when you read it in words,
not when you were experiencing the real thing.
	"So, are you guys going to practise right after
lunch?" Mr. Johnson asked once.
	"Not, immediately, sir. We planned to take a breather
first, strolling and stuff. Maybe we will feel better
after that and can concentrate on our respective
parts. Wanna go now, Ted?"
	"Sure thing! C'mon," Ted answered me and we walked
towards the front door, still thinking of what to do
about those parts we were going to sing later. It was
not very good right now and to sing badly in front of
the whole congregation would be downright
embarrassing.
	We walked hand in hand for quarter of an hour before
returning to the music room, feeling more refreshed
and we were now ready to tackle the parts. I guess the
stroll had done us more good than expected cause we
had the parts right after another hour or so. I was so
relieved, and so was Ted by the look he gave me. We
sanf a few more times just to make sure that nothing
would go wrong tonight or I didn't think I would be
able to live it down; exaggerating, huh? But that was
how I felt.
	Finally, the moment arrived. We drove to church later
that night around half past six. The church was packed
with neighbors and some new faces I had never seen
before. We had a nice chat and put the food we had
brought with us on the table. We would have supper
together when the prayer was over and Father Tom had
finished with his sermon, which was long mind you.
	"...so, now we had the pleasure of Ted and Jeremy to
sing "Oh Holy Night" for us. C'mon, Ted, Jeremy," the
sounds of clapping were loud enough to make sure that
the dead would be awaken from their graves. Sigh,
let's just hope that nothing would go wrong, I thought
to myself. Ted was slightly nervous, apparently.
	When silence resumed, we began to sing.
Ted:      Oh holy night
          The stars are brightly shining
          It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Jeremy:   Long lay the world
          In sin and error pining
          Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth
T:        A thrill of hope
          The weary world rejoices
J:        For yonder breaks
	  A new and glorious morn'
T&J:	  Fall on your knees
	  Oh, hear! The angels' voices
	  Oh, night divine
	  Oh, night when Christ was born
	  Oh, night divine
	  Oh, night, oh, night divine
J:        A thrill of hope
          The weary world rejoices
T:        For yonder breaks
	  A new and glorious morn'
T&J:	  Fall on your knees
	  Oh, hear! The angels' voices
	  Oh, night divine
	  Oh, night when Christ was born
	  Oh, night divine......
T:        Oh, night...
T&J:      Oh, night divine......
	Fortunately, the song was short and nothing had gone
wrong so far. Whew! The clappings resumed with much
enthusiasm. Ted and I took a bow or two and went back
to our seats. It was thrilling and I was so glad to be
able to sing that song with my man, though no one,
except the family knew about Ted and I.
	"I am so proud of you two. You had sung beautifully,"
grandma said as we sat down. We thanked grandma and
Father Tom was thanking us amidst another round of
applause before he led the prayer. Then, it was chow
time. Hehe! Ted and I were growing boys and we were
hungry. We did not exactly grow taller anymore, just
that we were young and needed lots of food.
	Supper was kind of embarrassing because everyone was
praising us andI noticed some girls checking Ted out.
Hmmph! Let them see all they wanted. Ted was mine. Now
and forever!
	We went home around half-past ten after helping to
clear the paper plates and utensils. All in all, it
was a beautiful Christmas.

Dear readers,
	     The chapter was done and I hope you like it. The
next chapter will be a bit late because I will be
returning to my hometown for a holiday, as I had said
above. Please e-mail me: comments, saying "Hi," or
something, whatever!

Sincerely,
The Author