Date: Tue, 6 Sep 2005 00:34:10 +0900
From: Phoenyx Wolfe <phoenyx.wolfe@gmail.com>
Subject: Twilight Eyes - Chapter 2
Wow, a second chapter. I'm even doing a dedication on this one. If
this chapter is any good, then it's thanks to my very own `Perry', who
put up with some very strange questions from me while I was writing this,
not to mention talking me down from my almost manic behaviour, and still
came out the other side my friend. We may not always be in touch, but
you're always in my heart. Of course, if it's terrible, I'd like to
blame my ex-friend Perry for the terrible responses he gave me to some
key questions.
And the usual things: If you're too young; blah blah blah. If you don't
agree with consenting same-sex adults in a relationship, kindly make your
way over to the `small-minded bigot' section of today's program.
Everything in this story is mine, all dragged from the dark depths of my
mind. Again, any resemblance to people alive or dead is plain creepy,
and I don't want to know about it.
___________________________________________
Kisten:
I knew I wanted Deacon from almost the same moment that I saw him.
A deep-down, gut-clenching lust that tore my breath away and left me
gasping. Normally I'd have no problem with that, I've been with guys
before, in college, but since I'd moved to this city for work, it seemed
I'd only found women that I was attracted to. Even though I'm bisexual,
I don't advertise this, it's no one's business but my own. I won't lie
if asked, but so far no one had asked. Everyone just seemed to assume
that I was straight. The fact that I was dating Jess for nearly a year
probably supported that. We were getting along well, I was starting to
think about asking her to marry me when I could afford to do it right.
My job paid fairly well, but office work, even at my level, only pays so
much.
So the problem was; I was in a committed relationship with Jess, but
wanted Deke. Unfortunately, I couldn't get close to him. We'd end up at
parties together, as many as I could connive, but every time I tried to
get near him, he'd suddenly be doing something else. Frustrating as hell
and it started to cause problems with Jess. I'd be with her, but
thinking about him. What I wanted to do to him. I seemed to have an
oral fixation where Deke was concerned - I wanted my mouth on him, all
over him. Now, I'm a fairly dominant guy, but this need to mark him as
mine bypassed the brain, coming straight from a more primal urge. It was
like he belonged with me, and he just didn't know it yet. Casually, I
found out as much as I could about him. Which wasn't much. He seemed to
be straight; there was talk of a girl across the country. Not what I
wanted to hear.
Then, one day, things changed. Jess and I had just decided to part
company, and not on the best of terms. One of my mates was having his
bachelor party that night, so I asked around, seeing if anyone knew of a
room I could rent. As luck or fate would have it, someone mentioned that
Deke was looking for a new housemate, the previous one having moved away.
It was all I could do not to leap across the room and demand he rent it
to me then and there. Not wanting to scare the hell out of him, I bided
my time; trying to hide the predatory grin I knew was trying to stretch
my lips all night. Living with him would certainly give me the
opportunity to get close to him. Real close. So I watched and waited
for the right time to talk to him. When he half-staggered into the
bathroom, I figured it was a good time.
He was standing at the urinal, and my first thought was: `Damn, he's
pretty.' Clamping down on the urge to cross the room, rip his clothes
off and devour his body like an ice cream, I spoke up. He jumped about a
foot in the air, instantly tense. I couldn't help but snigger a little.
He was damn cute: wild green eyes, mussed up hair and his dick hanging
out. When he spoke, a shiver of sensation curled down my spine. He just
stared at me when I asked if I could look at the room, and I couldn't
figure out what he was thinking - was it me, or had he had too much to
drink? Finally, he snapped back, and we agreed that I would go look
over the room the next day. Containing my elation, I headed back to the
party. Deke seemed a little more subdued the rest of the night; I just
hoped that he wasn't re-thinking my moving in. And moving in I was. I'd
already decided that no matter what the room was like, I would take it.
Yeah, I wanted him bad.
The next morning found me waking too early to go around to Jess', so
I went for a jog around a nearby park. Richie was awake by the time I
got back to his place, not too badly hung-over, so he made us breakfast
while I had a shower. Finally, I dragged Richie around to Jess' to help
me pack. Letting myself in for the last time, I looked around. Jess had
left me a note telling me to be gone by the time she got back that
evening. No problem. There really wasn't that much stuff in the
apartment that was mine, and between the two of us, we were done by noon.
The thought of where I'd be living from that night on, and with whom, had
me hard all day.
About halfway through packing, Richie turned to me and said: "Dude,
you're way too happy for someone who just broke up with his girl. You
got someone else on the side?"
With total honesty, I replied that I didn't. "Just glad to be
moving on, y'know? It wasn't working out between us, hadn't been for
months. Now I'm just looking forward to what the future brings." Or
who, I silently added.
Deacon and I had agreed that I would go around his place in the
early afternoon, but by one o'clock I was sitting in my car just around
the corner from his place, nervous as hell. Finally, twenty minutes
later, I could stand it no longer. Driving back to his house, and
bounding up to the door, I took a moment to compose myself. Didn't want
to scare him. When he answered the door, I nearly choked. His bare
chest was perfection itself, and again, my thoughts turned to something
more instinctive. Since throwing him down on the floor and ripping those
shorts from his body seemed too forward, somehow I contained them.
Barely. And continued to do so even as we talked, drank coffee, and
looked around the room. And just like that, I was moving in.
___________________________________
The next few months were incredible. He seemed to punch every
button for me. He seemed so quiet and shy; like a big kid sometimes,
with the most amazing grin. We quickly fell into an easy rhythm with
living together, and would spend most of our time together. We never
really talked about women, I didn't want to know, and he seemed reluctant
to discuss it too. Sometimes I'd catch him looking at me with a hungry
look in his eyes, but it never seemed like the right time to make a move.
I'd lie in bed and think about him lying in bed, just a wall between us,
and I'd give my imagination full reign. I'd dream that he wanted me as
badly as I wanted him. That he'd walk into my room and tell me. Closely
followed by me ripping his clothes off and doing everything I'd ever
wanted to do to him. Twice. Then, one day, we were sitting watching TV
when he got a call from Kat. I knew little about her, I assumed she was
the girl across the country I'd been told about, but the look on his face
as he talked twisted my heart. It should have been me that put that look
on his face! He got up and went to answer the door and a few seconds
later there was a commotion in the hallway. Walking in to see what it
was, my gut clenched as if from a blow. The pain was so intense that I
actually stopped breathing. A beautiful woman was wrapped around my
Deke, kissing him like it was going out of fashion. They just stood,
engrossed; so obviously happy to see each other. Devastated, I moved to
leave when she noticed me, and came to introduce herself. Sweeping us
both along in her wake, we moved from the hall to the living room, then
somehow we were heading out to a local restaurant for dinner, never given
the chance to say no.
_________________________________________
As I sat in the restaurant, watching Kat and Deacon interact, my
jealousy grew. I buried my disappointment and kept up the fa‡ade of
enjoyment. Despite my desire to hate her, Kat seemed friendly, and
Deacon was relaxed with her. Their relationship was puzzling, sometimes
they seemed like siblings, but with an ease that only comes from
intimacy. It was obvious that they shared a deep love for each other,
more than simple friendship. I tried to resign myself to the idea that
Deke was never going to be mine in the way that I wanted. Anguish seared
my heart, but didn't stop me from instantly becoming hard when he placed
his hand on my chest, and my heart leaping when he said that he loved me
. us . both. If only it was true. Losing myself for a minute, I
entertained a brief fantasy about ripping the shirt from his body and
branding his skin with my mouth. When I snapped back to reality, Deke
was on his way to the restrooms, and with the weight of Kat's eyes on me,
I realised that I'd been staring at him for too long.
"So what are you going to do about it, gorgeous?"
"Huh? What'd you mean? What are you talking about?" Nice cover,
idiot. I had the uncomfortable suspicion that I knew exactly what she
was talking about. Kat stared at me for what seemed like an eternity,
then broke into what can only be described as an evil grin. I could
almost be afraid .
"You know, Kisten, I feel like I know you. Deke talks about you all
the time. Constantly, even." What was she trying to say? Was she
warning me off her man? Oh, gods, could I stand to see him with another?
My whole being clenched in rejection of the mere thought. Fuck, what was
I going to do?
"Kat, I . Deke ." Floundering, I stopped, looking hopelessly at her.
I was still trying to figure out what to say when Deke came back. Not
yet! I wasn't ready. I couldn't watch them together yet. Jumping up, I
retreated; running off like a coward.
After I left the restaurant, I had no idea where I was going. I
couldn't go home yet. The picture in my mind of Kat and Deke wrapped
around each other in the doorway this morning was too much. I headed for
the beach, figuring I could try to out-run my demons there.
As soon as I hit the sand, I snatched off my shirt, stuffing it into
my waist-band, and kicked my shoes and socks behind a rock. They'd still
be there when I got back - or not, I didn't care. Turning my face away
from the low-risen moon, I ran; trying to lose myself to the endorphins,
if only for a while. With the ocean to my left and the dark in my face,
I ran. Finally; inevitably, my body could run no more, and forced me to
stop. It wasn't enough.
"FUUUUUCK!" Screaming at the top of my lungs; forcibly ejecting my
denial, I collapsed; gasping for breath onto the sand. A split second
later, I nearly jumped out of my skin, fight-or-flight instinct triggered
by a voice not far behind me.
"Is that an offer or a social commentary?"
My head whipped around, cricking my neck. "What the .? Ouch!
Fuck!" I grabbed at my neck as the stranger laughed.
"There you go again. Do you know any other words?" He rose from
where he'd been sitting, walked over to me and dropped down behind me.
"Sit down. Don't worry; I'm not some psycho-rapist-axe murder. Of
course, I'd say that even if I was. But I'm not. You just look like you
could use a hand, or a friendly ear. Want to talk about it? Here, let
me help."
I tensed as he reached over to my neck.
"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Relax, I've had some
training in massage therapy, I can help. Why don't you tell me why you
came racing down the beach like a crazed mob bearing pitchforks was after
you? Not to mention what the waves did to warrant your curse?"
For whatever reason, I relaxed a little. Whoever this stranger was,
I felt I could trust him. If not, at least a good fight would work out
some more of my frustrations. Slowly, I started talking about the past
few months. He was completely unconcerned when I told him about my
bisexuality and described Deke in loving detail. He was easy to talk to,
never seeming judgemental or anything other than friendly and supportive,
just listening intently the whole time. The whole scene took on a
surrealistic tinge; the waves crashing in front of me, and his presence
beside the only movement I could sense. By the time I reached the end of
my story, he felt like an old friend, and I was feeling calm again.
"This Deacon of yours sounds like a pretty okay guy. Why haven't
you told him you're in love with him? Make a move, any move! Worst that
could happen is he says no, right? At least you know then, and can get
on with your life."
I stared at him. "The worst that could happen is that he kicks my
arse, first literally, then out of his house. At least this way I get to
be around him."
"Ah, you should have mentioned that he was a homophobic bigot."
"No! It's not like that. Deke is the kindest, most tolerant person
out there. You should see him, he's so.harmless. He needs someone to
protect him from the rest of the world. There's no way he's a bigot."
"Oh, so he's just an arsehole? Someone who'd laugh in your face
when you tried to tell him?"
"No! Fuck no, man. Deke'd never do anything like that. You don't
even know him! Why're you saying this shit about him?" I turned towards
him, shrugging his hands off my shoulders and clenching my fists.
Holding his hands out for peace, he spoke again:
"Easy man, you'll undo all my hard work there. So he's not a bigot
or an arsehole. What's your problem? You don't seem like a coward to
me. You going to let fear of what might be stop you? You said you've
had partners before, male and female," his mild voice quiet as I stared
over the ocean once more. "Presumably you've done this before. What's
stopping you now?"
"I just . yeah, but Deke . Deke's more. He's so much more. I
wasn't ."
"In love with any of the others?" Gently, he rubbed my arm. "Don't
you know that you're never going to be happy in this limbo? You love
him, so love him enough to be honest with him. Quit lying to yourself,
and to him."
Again, I stared. "You're a pretty smart guy, man. Shit, I don't
even know your name, and you know all my deep, dark secrets. You Oprah
in disguise or something?"
He laughed, a deep, joyful laugh of approval. "Nope, not Oprah.
I'm Perry, Perry Jennings."
"Kisten Blair, call me Kist. Thanks for the hand, and the friendly
ear. Guess I needed it." Grinning ruefully at him, I realised that I
could see his features in the paler light. Dawn was coming. Incredibly,
we'd been talking all night. "Damn, Perry, I'm sorry, I'm sure you had
better things to do than sit out here all night listening to me feeling
sorry for myself. Not that I don't appreciate it!"
"Nah, my boyfriend is out of town on a business trip. I was just
sitting here pining. Listening to you took my mind off him."
My jaw dropped. "You're gay?" I considered. "Cool."
Chuckling, he gently slapped my shoulder and got up. Offering me a
hand, he spoke again. "Thanks. Come on, let's go get some breakfast.
You look like you could use some coffee." He glanced down. "And some
shoes."
Remembering my bare feet, I laughed as he helped me up. "Can't run
in dress shoes. Needed to feel the sand, anyway. If they haven't been
stolen, they're back near the marina."
He started. "You ran from the marina? That's over ten miles away!
You really were running away, weren't you?! Well, let's eat, then you
can face your demons. My house is just over there. What do you say I
cook you breakfast, then drive you back for your shoes?"
Grinning, I nodded at my new friend. "Deal. Thanks Perry, you're a
pretty great guy. I hope that boyfriend of yours knows it too."
"He should," smirked Perry. "I tell him every chance I get!"
Laughing together, we headed up the beach to his house, talking as if
we'd been friends forever.
_________________________________________
True to his word, Perry made us both breakfast and drove me back to
the marina, where I was surprised to find my shoes still where I left
them. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together again when
his boyfriend came back to town. As he left, I grinned and waved
goodbye, happy in the knowledge that I'd made a new friend, and feeling
better about Deacon. I made my way back home to him.
Even after a quick cup of coffee and a shower to wake me up, I must
still have been out of it from my lack of sleep, because I didn't stop to
consider where Kat was sleeping. Without thinking, I did as I usually
do, barging into Deke's room to borrow clothes and catch a glimpse of him
all sexy and sleep-tousled. At the door, my whole world shattered. Kat
and Deke were curled up on the bed together, in a very intimate position.
My heart broke, and it was all I could do to catch my breath as I, once
again, retreated. A few seconds later, Kat came rocketing out after me,
catching up at the front door.
"Hey! Stop, you moron! Don't do this!"
Incredulous, I stopped, looking at her. "What? I'm sorry I
interrupted the two of you ."
"Interrupted what? We were asleep! Deke's my best friend. We've
been friends our entire lives. He's like my baby brother and I love him
more than anyone else in the world." My heart broke at her words, and it
barely registered as she continued more softly. "Kisten, he and I are
closer than siblings, but we don't feel that way about each other. Maybe
you should go back inside there and tell him that you do."
My jaw dropped as she smirked at me. "Now, I'm going to go and get
dressed and then I'm going out for the day. I suggest you go do whatever
manly things you need to do to gather your courage, then take the bull by
the horns. So to speak." With a wink, she swept back into the house,
leaving me dumfounded in her wake. I was still standing there ten
minutes later as she swept back out, playfully smacked me in the arm,
laughed, and was gone. Finally, thinking back over Perry and Kat's
words, I decided I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Entering
the house, I looked for Deacon. . .
He was standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee, looking so perfect
I could barely breathe. He turned as I said his name, and the look in
his eyes nearly did me in. It was the look of a drowning man, coming up
for air for the last time. I stalked across the tiles, holding him with
my eyes, refusing to let him look away. I felt every bit the predator as
he froze under my gaze. Crowding him, I entered his personal space,
wanting, needing to be close, to have him, to hold him, to possess him.
Holding on to my restraint with the edge of my nails, I confessed my
feelings for him. The mere smell of him nearly snapped my control. The
clean, masculine, uniquely Deacon scent drifted from his pores straight
to my groin, searing fiery trails on the way. Then, unbelievably, his
whole body seemed to surrender to me, and the surge of lust that came
from that feeling was overwhelming. My tenuous control was shredded, and
I possessed his mouth, taking the breath from his body as he stole mine.
Finally, after all this time, my mouth to his. He was perfection itself,
and it was all I could do not to take him then and there, when all I
wanted to do was drop him to the floor. Somehow, I found an iota of
restraint long enough to get him where I'd wanted him for so long; my
bed.
When it was over, our bodies spent and heaving, I lay above him,
looking down into his beautiful face. His neck was bruised badly and I
vaguely remembered the need to mark him, claim him as mine to the world
as the universe itself exploded in my head. His eyes were closed, and I
worried that I'd hurt him, or that he was having second thoughts.
Please, gods, no. Whispering in his ear, telling him what I'd wanted to
tell him for so many months now, I urged him to open his eyes. When he
did, and looked at me with such dazzling happiness, I thought I would
burst from the joy that surged through me.
_____________________________________
We were still lying in the bed, kissing, touching, stroking, when
the phone rang a few hours later. I rolled, taking Deke with me,
reluctant to give up the touch of his skin after so long. Answering the
phone and kissing him at the same time, all I could manage was a
distracted `mmm?' Jerking my head away from the enthusiastic screaming
at the other end, I handed the phone over to Deke. He looked at me
quizzically until he heard Kat's voice at the other end.
"Hey babe, how was the movie?" I could hear her screaming from the
vicinity of Deke's chest, where I was becoming highly absorbed in his
nipples.
"Movie? You're asking about a bloody movie when I know you're in
bed with Kisten?" She must have calmed after the initial outburst,
because I couldn't hear her voice anymore. Deke laughed and teased her.
Deciding that his attention was in the wrong place, I moved south,
nuzzling his groin. His breath hissed in, and his voice broke on his
next word. Laughing once more, he put the phone next to my ear.
"Mmmm?" Distracted again, I mumbled a greeting into the phone.
"Well, it's about time you made a move gorgeous! Deke's been
driving me nuts for months with `Kisten this' and `Kisten that'."
Surprised, I sat up, taking the phone myself.
"Months, you say?" Throwing a speculative look at Deke, I leaned
back, my interest evident in my voice as I continued. "Reeeeeally ...
hmmm, what's he been saying?" Deke abruptly sat up and reached for the
phone. I held him off, still talking to Kat. Changing tactics, he
started licking my chest, sucking at my nipples. I groaned, unable to
stifle my pleasure.
"Awww, geez! Are you two going at it again?" Cracking up, Kat
sniggered down the line at me. "Seriously, I'm really glad you finally
got your act together. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon, and we're all
going out for dinner again, okay? No running off this time!" I readily
agreed content now that I knew Deke was mine at last. Before she hung
up, Kat had one more thing to say:
"Kisten, you seem like a really nice guy, and I think you'll be good
for Deke, but if you fuck up and hurt him, I'm going to change your
religion, got it?" I winced, hearing the menace through her cheery tone.
Self-consciously shifting to protect my balls, I hastened to assure her,
while looking into Deke's vibrant green eyes.
"I'll do my best. I love him ..." The rest of my sentence was
swallowed by his mouth on mine, and I barely heard Kat snicker and hang
up. Somehow the phone was back on the cradle, and I was fully occupied
with a suddenly very enthusiastic Deacon, sliding up and down my body,
rubbing himself against me, making me moan and shiver. He worked himself
down to my crotch, licking the gathered drop from the tip. Stars burst
behind my eyes, and again, my control snapped. Rolling over and pinning
him to the mattress, I returned the favour. His hoarse shout was lost to
the fog of sheer need that consumed me. More! I wanted ... no, needed
... to compel in him the insanity that he caused in me. He had to feel
the animalistic need that consumed me. More. I couldn't control the low
growl that hissed between my teeth. More. Always, more. Maddened, I
crawled back up his body until we were lined up completely against each
other: mouth to mouth, hands to hands, groin to groin, legs entwined.
Rubbing, grinding, pressing our cocks together, the heat of our bodies
drove us on. Moving together in perfect harmony, I moved my arms around
to grasp his cheeks, pulling him closer still, adding to our friction.
Still, the desperation in me rose, driving me again to tear my mouth from
his, allowing only a brief gasp of air before my body exploded, taking
Deke with me. Together, we plunged into the abyss, fused at all points,
our minds abandoning us to the orgasmic sensations. At some point, we
collapsed into exhaustion, almost blacking out, but still, we held on.
My last coherent thought was that nothing, not even the gods themselves,
would take my man from me. Deacon was mine at last.
_________________________________________
Well, that's chapter 2. Please, let me know if it was any good. Thanks
a million times over to those of you who emailed me after chapter one,
you all made my week, and are the reason there's a chapter two. But who
would have thought that I'd actually be MORE nervous to submit this one
than my first? I really hope y'all like it! Comments, constructive
criticisms? But please, again: no flaming, I'm delicate here folks!
Thank you all!
Phoenyx
Phoenyx.wolfe@gmail.com