Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 00:24:44 EST From: DefJamMariah85@aol.com Subject: When Souls Fly Free chpt 12 Terell stood there in total shock as he read the letter... Dear Alice, I don't even know where to begin, by now you may have taken one look at this letter and thrown it away and I don't blame you. I am writing to you because not because I want to be back in your life but into our son Terell's. I wish I could undo everything I did, I was a fool and I am paying for it. But worst of all our son paid for it too. I know this may seem hard to believe, but I am not doing this out my own selfish guilt, but for Terell...I need for him to understand that I didn't leave because I didn't love him, but most of all he needs to understand that and I think he deserves to know that he didn't do anything wrong. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I don't think I could ever forgive myself. I live everyday knowing the pain I caused you all. Alice, I don't expect you to even consider contacting me and if you don't I understand. I am only thinking of our son...something I should have done along time ago. If this letter never gets to you, I love you both. Marvin Jackson" A click was heard as the kitchen door opened with Mrs. Jackson stepping in hurriedly. "Hey sweetie I forgot something...do you know where the..." Mrs. Jackson paused in her tracks as she saw the look on Terell's face with letter in hand. "Did you know about this?!" Terell exclaimed "Oh my goodness sweetie, I was going to throw that away...I didn`t want to you find it" Mrs. Jackson replied in disbelief. Terell quickly approached his mother. "Who the hell does he think he is huh?!?!?!?!?! thinking he can write a damn letter like nothing ever happened?" Terell shouted. "Terell, I know you're angry but you need to calm down ok?" Mrs. Jackson said putting her hand on her son's shoulder. "How can you say that ma? aren't you angry?!?!?! he fuckin left us!!!!!!" Terell said crumpling the letter up in his fist and throwing it on the floor. Normally Mrs. Jackson would have given her son the lecture of a lifetime not to mention a smack upside the head for swearing at her against the way his upbringing taught him but in this situation she had to keep cool. "I know baby but please hear me out ok..." Mrs. Jackson said while collecting her thoughts, Terell frozen with rage. " Count to ten do you hear me?" Terell stood there and counted to ten and soon found himself calming down... "Hey that works..." He said reluctantly. "Look" Mrs. Jackson said she wanted to rip that letter up herself and burn it 10 thousand times but her better judgment called upon her to set an example for her son. Terell interrupted her... " Mama, I think I'm gonna be alright" "You sure? I will take off work...I don't like this either" Mrs. Jackson replied. Terell took a deep breath and exhaled. "You go on ahead, I'm gonna try not to think about this...he don't have to come back" Terell replied. "Well...ok...but when we get home we're talking about this ok?" Mrs. Jackson demanded. "Yeah" Terell replied looking to the side. "I'm gonna hang out with Marcus probably". Mrs. Jackson sighed she still had that pang of uncertainty about Marcus, but was able to keep her mouth shut. "Ok sweetie, calm down ok?...damn here they were" Mrs. Jackson exclaimed as she found the keys to the backstore room from the grocery. " I will be home around 9 ok?". She kissed Terell on the cheek as he said goodbye to her. An air of hostility lingered in the air of the Jackson house. Terell eyed the crumpled up letter as he heard the engine of his mothers car kick on and the crunch of the tires backing out of the driveway. He walked over towards the kitchen sink and leaned over it a bit and got lost in thought. He shook himself out of it and knew he needed Marcus right then. He picked up the phone and dialed Marcus's number. "Hello?" Marcus answered. "Hey babe..." Terell replied. "Hey baby what's up?, you ok? you don't sound too happy" Marcus answered. "I'm not...I can't explain right now do you think you can come over?" Terell asked "Sure..." Marcus said with concern. "I'll be over in a couple of minutes ok?". Terell agreed and waited impatiently for Marcus. Relief came as he heard a knock at the door. "Thank god you're here" Terell said immediately hugging Marcus. Marcus stumbled back a bit. "Hey there watch it Mr. Football!" "Damn...sorry..." Terell stepped back. "Come on in" Marcus looked at Terell suspiciously as he stepped in. He could sense something was up big time. He saw Terell pick up a crumpled piece of paper off the floor. "What's this?" Marcus asked. "This...is what's wrong" Terell said as he plunked the wadded up paper into Marcus's hand. "If I'm in a bad mood you know why..." "Mkay..." Marcus replied as he opened up the paper. His jaw dropped as he read who it was from. " Oh my goodness...I don't know what to say." Marcus said standing there, then looking to see if Terell was ok. Obviously he was not...words were not needed at that moment. Marcus tossed the paper onto their table and without a word he walked over to Terell and gave him a hug. "We're going to my house ok?" Marcus said taking Terell by the hand. "Let me get something first is that ok?" Terell asked. Marcus said yes and Terell disappeared into his room. He came out with a small cardboard box and met up with Marcus again. "I'm ready" Terell said. Marcus took him by the hand and led him out of the front door. Marcus knew good and well surrounding neighbors could have seen them holding hands but at this point Marcus was to the point that he didn't care. They arrived at the front door and Marcus led the way inside. Terell wiped his nose as he saw Mr. Grenier sitting on the couch polishing one of his old fishing poles. Terell didn't want him to notice anything was wrong. "Hello boys how ya doin there!" Mr. Grenier greeted. "Good dad, Terell is gonna hang out here for a few ok?" Marcus said with Terell pausing at his side. "Absolutley" With that, they headed upstairs as Marcus wondered what the box was... "What's that" Marcus asked. Terell couldn't help but make a wisecrack amidst the seriousness. "Sex toys" Terell replied with half a smile. " Smartass..." Marcus giggled as he opened the door to his room. Terell settled himself in the middle of Marcus's floor and began to open the box. "Come here, I wanna show you something" Terell said. Marcus walked over and kneeled by Terells side. Marcus saw as Terell pulled out pictures of his father. "This is him..." Terell said solemnly. Marcus tried to study the picture without bursting into tears at the sight of the man that caused the person he loved so much pain. "Well...hey...now I know where you get those handsome brown eyes from" Marcus said knudging Terell lovingly. "Hehe"...". Terell smirked as he felt his mood lighten up a bit. He wanted to share these with Marcus, he had become someone special to him, he was the only person he'd ever trust to show them to...outside his family. They sifted through photos of Terell when he was little...passing time. "AHH! look at that little face!!" Marcus said, embarrassing Terell every chance he got. Marcus hoped the giggling and laughing would last longer, but a picture of Terell and his father together ended them abruptly. They both sat there in silence. "Hehe...ya know...I actually remember taking this picture, I actually remember the bastard here" Terell said half laughing with a hint of "I hate him". "Try and focus on the good times you had with him babe" Marcus said, rubbing Terells back. "Times..." Terell said...tears welling up in his eyes. "Yeah well he picked a fucking shitty time to leave!!!" Terell sobbed as he eeked out his words of anger, Marcus pulling him in close to comfort him. He knew there were no words to comfort him at the moment. Terell clenched on tighter as every ounce of pain left his body through his tears. "It's ok babe, just let it go...not worth it holding it all inside" Marcus said softly. Terells grasp...eventually lightened up and loosened. He pulled back...as his emotions began to simmer down. "Damn...babe...sorry...I got my boogers all over ya, ya better go change" Terell said , embarrassed "Don't you worry babe, you know I don't care" Marcus said taking his shirt off and going back to his dresser. He pulled out a cotton T shirt and pulled it over his ivory complexioned torso. Terell couldn't help himself but come up behind Marcus and hug him. "Thank you..." "You know you're welcome babe" Marcus said, playfully rubbing Terells bald head. "Hey, you think I can stay here tonight?" Terell asked. "I'm sure my folks won't mind" Marcus said. "Let me go downstairs and let them know you're stayin ok? "Ok...aw damn I gotta call my mom to tell her I'm here tonight...can I use your phone? Terell asked. "Yeah it's cool, I got a separate line anyways, I'll be right back ok?" Marcus said as he headed downstairs. Terell picked up the phone and dialed Shelby Grocery. A click came on the other line. "Shelby Grocery this is Alan how may I direct your call?" "Yes, is Alice Jackson available...this is her son, I need to speak with her, it's a bit important". Terell said. "Her son?...alright...let me see if she's available". About 2 minutes of cheesy elevator music passed until another click was heard. "Hey sweetie!" Mrs. Jackson answered "Hey mama, it's Terell...I'm calling to let you know I'm stayin over at Marcus's tonight, I know we planned to talk but, I been doin some thinking and I'm just not up to it tonight". Terell said "Oh come on Terell...you know this is important!" Mrs. Jackson demanded " I know mama but I need to clear my head for a while so I can be level headed when we talk, I gotta get my mind off of this for now" Terell said assertively. "Oh...alright then...say hi to Marcus for me..." Mrs. Jackson said reluctantly. " You sure you're ok?" Terell glanced around Marcus's room... "Yeah I'm ok....don't worry..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Downstairs, Marcus approached his father to let him know Terell was staying. You see, in the south, you didn't hardly need permission to have company over. Mr.Grenier happily agreed, he and Mrs. Grenier both liked Terell so it was no problem. Just then, the kitchen door opened to the sight of Mrs. Grenier returning from tending her roses. Her disheveled look was amusing to Marcus and his father as her hat was tilted to one side with a dried rose bush leaf dangling off of the brim. She set her gardening tools aside and took a deep breath. "AHH...nothing like working on mah roses to lift the spirits and get mah blood goin!...hey Marcus" "Hey mama...Terell is stayin here tonight...but I AM COOKING DINNER...you need to rest ok?" Marcus demanded. "Oh alrighty..." Mrs. Grenier huffed " But I get to ma-" Her sentence was cut off by the ringing of the kitchen phone. She dusted off her trousers and headed towards the phone and picked it up. " Hello?..." She gasped. "Oh yes...uh...this is she...yes...hello doctor!..." A long pause filled the conversation, sparking Marcus' ears to lead him to the kitchen. The look on his mothers face concerned him. Mrs. Grenier continued...stuttering "are..are...are you sure?" she said putting one hand on her forehead. "Yes...I'm alright...thank you..." She hung up the phone. "Whats wrong?, what did they say"? Marcus asked. "Oh..they just said they need to do more blood work nothing serious yet..don't worry hon" Mrs. Grenier stated...it before dinner and she couldn't bear to tell anyone what the truth was yet. She had a tumor and needed to go back to the hospital... **Hey guys...I some of you were giving me feedback on the chapters being too far apart....wellll heres one! LOL...with the holidays comin up It'll be slow again but I will continue it. You know what to do! hit me up @ DefJamMariah85@aol.com**